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Here are a few samples of my favourite mulderisms & scullyisms, some of them are even available in sound!

Listen to the tiel music.


Mulder: Sorry, nobody down here but the FBI's most unwanted.

Mulder: Oh, isn't it nice to be suddenly so highly regarded.

Mulder: I was under the impression that you were sent to spy on me.

Mulder: You gotta love this place, every day's like Halloween.

        (They coffin they lifted out of the grave rolled down the hill
         and cracked open. Mulder opens it and looks at a very small
Mulder: It's probably a safe bet Ray Salms never made the Varsity
        Basketball team.

Scully: The answers are there you just have to know where to look for
Mulder: That's why they put the "I" in FBI.

Mulder: Yeah, our boys came out here, enjoyed the local salmon, which
        with a little lemon twist is to die for... if you'll pardon
        the expression.

Mulder: I arranged to have the body exhumed.  You aren't squeamish
        about that sort of thing, are you Scully?
Scully: I don't know, I've never had the pleasure.

        (Knock on the door)
Scully: Who is it?
Mulder: Steven Speilberg.

Mulder: We lost nine minutes!
Scully: We lost *WHAT*?

Scully: You're saying that time disappeared.  Time can't just
        disappear. It's a universal invariant! (Dead car starts
Mulder: Not in this zip code.

        (Scully's and Mulder's hotel is burning to the ground with all
         of their evidence inside)
Scully: There goes my computer.

Scully: Mulder, did you see their eyes?  If I were that stoned --
Mulder: OOH!  If you were that stoned *what*?

Mulder: Tell me I'm crazy.
Scully: Mulder.  You're crazy.

Mulder: If we ignore them, do you think they'll go away?

Mulder: ...to deny us evidence
Scully: Evidence of what?
Mulder: Alien civilization
Scully: Oh, of course.

Mulder: Didn't you ever want to be an astronaut when you were growing
Scully: I must have missed that phase.

Mulder: You have to admit, that was exciting.  Mission Control and
Scully: Yeah, ranks right up there with getting a pony and learning
        to braid my own hair.

Scully: It's an oxygen leak. Even *I* can figure out what happens if
        they run out of oxygen.

Cultin: So Mulder, what do you think? Does this look like the work of
        little green men?
Mulder: Grey.
Cultin: Excuse me?
Mulder: Grey. You said green men. The reticulant skin tone is actually
        grey. They're notorious for there extraction of terrestrial
        human livers. Due to iron depletion in the Reticulan galaxy.
Cultin: You can't be serious?
Mulder: Do you have any idea what liver and onions go for in Reticula?

Scully: Oh, God, Mulder. It smells like... I think it's bile.
Mulder: Is there any way I can get it off my fingers quickly without
        betraying my cool exterior?

        (Mulder speaking to Scully)
Mulder: Do you find me spooky?

Mulder: I have a reputation?

Scully: That's why Belvins has you hidden away down here.
Mulder: You're down here, too.

Mulder: That girl...
Scully: Who?  Jessica Hawn?

        (Scully passes the collection plate)
Scully: Apparently miracles don't come cheap.

        (Scully is rinsing a lung off in the sink)
Scully: Mulder, take a look at this.
Mulder: Do I have to?

Scully: You've got that look on your face, Mulder.
Mulder: What look is that?
Scully: The kind where when you've forgotten your keys and you're
        trying to figure out how to get back in the house.

Mulder: Remember the boy did rise from the dead.  That kind of thing
        happens only once or twice every 2000 years or so.

        (Inside Mulder's trashed hotel room)
Scully: What's going on?
Mulder: Looks like housekeeping hasn't been here yet.

Deep Throat: Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer.

Mulder: And one of these girls was just abducted.
Scully: Kidnapped.
Mulder: Pa-tay-toe, puh-tah-toe.

Eve 6: I paid too much attention to a guard. Bit into his eyeball. I
       meant it as a sign of affection.

Eve 6:  This replication of chromosomes also produces additional
        Heightened strength, heightened intelligence...
Mulder: Heightened psychosis.
Eve 6:  You saved the best for last.

Mulder:  Back off, I'm a Federal Agent.
Trucker: Yeah, and these are America's Most Wanted?
Woman:   I'll call the police.
Scully:  We are the police!

Scully: Working hard, Mulder?
Mulder: (indicating to centerfold) This woman claims to have been
         taken aboard a space ship and held in an anti-gravity chamber
         without food and water for three days.
Scully: (Looking sideways at magazine) Antigravity's right.

Scully's friend: What about that guy you work with? You said he was
                 kinda cute.
Scully:          Mulder? He's a jerk. Well, he's not a jerk. He's...
                 obsessed with his work.

Scully: I have a date.
Mulder: Can you cancel?
Scully: Unlike you Mulder, I would like to have a life.
Mulder: I have a life!

Mulder: Don't you have a life Scully?
Scully: Keep it up Mulder and I'll hurt you like that beast-woman.

Mulder: (walking to the door) What are you doing, Scully?
Scully: Going with you to the Smithsonian.
Mulder: Don't you have a life, Scully?
Scully: Keep that up, Mulder, and I'll hurt you like that beast woman
Mulder: 8 million years out of Africa...
Scully: (holding door open for him)...and look who's holding the door.

Mulder: Hey Scully, do you believe in an afterlife?
Scully: I'd settle for a life in this one.
MIB:    If any inquiry is made about this meeting, we request full
Mulder: I'd say you people already suffer from full denial.

Mulder: You may be right.
Scully: Wait.  You think *I'm* right?

Mulder: Do you realize how hard it is to fake your own death? Only one
        person has pulled it off, Elvis.

Mulder: I would never lie; I willfully participate in a campaign of

Scully: Psychokinesis? You mean how Carrie got to the prom?

Scully: So why did you two go your separate ways?
Mulder: I'm a pain in the ass to work with.
Scully: No, seriously.
Mulder: You mean I'm NOT a pain in the ass to work with.

Mulder: Maybe Drake was talking to someone before he doing his Ben
        Franklin impersonation.

        (As the men start to strip for their physical exam)
Mulder: Now before anyone pass judgement, please keep in mind we're
        in the arctic.

Mulder: San Diego? Do you get much of a chance to study ice down
Denny:  Just what's around the keg.

Scully: Mulder, you just keep unfolding like a flower.

Mulder: I was merely extending her a professional courtesy.
Scully: Oh, is that what you were extending.

        (Scully says to Mulder in Phoebe's voice)
Scully: Care to take me to lunch?

Scully: Oh, I forgot what it was like to spend a day in court.
Mulder: That's one of the luxuries of hunting down aliens and genetic
        mutants. You rarely get to press charges.

Mulder: That's weird.  I was sure I locked it
Scully: Must be an X-File.

Mulder: I was merely extending her a professional courtesy.
Scully: Oh, is *that* what you were extending?

Mulder: Dana Scully, this is Phoebe Green.  The terror of Scotland
Scully: Hello.
Phoebe (whispering in Mulder's ear): She hates me.

       (Preparing to torch the house)
Cecil: Time to call 911.

Scully: Last time you were that engrossed it turned out you were
        reading the adult video news.

Scully: Mulder, do I detect a since of skepticism.

Scully: There's something up there, Mulder.
Mulder: Well, I've been saying that for years.

Mulder: I know what I saw, Scully. And I saw you about to do the wild
        thing with some stranger.

Scully: So what is our profile of the killer?  "Indeterminate height,
        weight, sex; unarmed, but extremely attractive"?

Mulder: That guy in the ugly suite is probably CIA.

Scully: I still don't get it.  What does this have to do with us?
Mulder: Robbing a jewelry store is a federal crime.
Scully: Thank you.

Mulder: I know what I'm not gonna do.  I'm not gonna wait around for
        John Barnett to send me another Valentine.
Scully: You mean the ghost of John Barnett?
Mulder: I didn't know you believed in ghosts Scully.

Mulder: How you feeling?
Scully: First time I've ever played the target.
Mulder: Let's make sure it's not the last.

Scully: Mulder, I know what you did wasn't by the book.
Mulder: Tells you a lot about the book, doesn't it.


Scully: Those lights the driver saw may... have been swamp gas.
Mulder: Swamp Gas?
Scully: It's a natural phenomenon in which phosphene and methane
        rising from decaying organic matter ignite, creating globes
        of blue flame.
Mulder: Happens to me when I eat Dodger Dogs.

Langley: Is this your skeptical partner?
Frohike: She's hot.
LGG #1:  You don't believe that the CIA, threatened by a loss of power
         and funding, because of the collapse of the cold war,
         wouldn't dream of having the old enemy back?
Scully:  I think you give the government too much credit. I mean, the
         government can't control the deficit or manage crime, what
         makes you think they can plan and execute such an elaborate
Frohike: She *is* hot.

Scully: The truth is out there, but so are lies.

Scully: Those are the most paranoid people I have ever met. I don't
        know how you could think what they say is remotely plausible.
Mulder: I think its remotely plausible that someone might think you're

Mulder: Some of their ideas are down-right *spooky*.

Byers:  Vladamir Cherernofski, the leader of the Russian Social
        Democrats, is being put into power by the most heinous and
        evil force of the twentieth century.
Mulder: Barney?

Byers: That's why we like you Mulder, your ideas are weirder than

Mulder: I tied up an air phone for three hours.  I don't speak
        Japanese, but I think some businessman told me to stick a
        piece of sushi where the sun don't shine.

Scully: Well, looks like nothing unexplainable here.
Mulder: (holding up a large thin layer of skin with tweezers) Nope,
        not a thing.

Ish:    I could smell you a mile away.
Mulder: They told me that even though my deodorant is made for woman
        it is strong enough for man.

Scully: Oh, *brain* sucking parasites.

Mulder: I don't think even Bigfoot could choke down that much flannel.

        (Looking at a picture of 30 or so loggers)
Mulder: Rugged manly men in the full bloom of their manhood.
Scully: Right, what am I looking for?
Mulder: Anything unusual, unlikely, unexplainable...boyfriend?

Scully: What kind of insect could have gotten a man all the way up in
        that tree?
Mulder: Itsy Bitsy Spider.


Mulder: Do you think they would have taken me more seriously if I had
        worn the grey suit?

Skinner: You wouldn't be lying to me now, would you Agent Scully?
Scully:  Sir, I expect you to place the same amount of trust in me as
         I do in you.

Scully: Can you determine the cause of death?  My instinct tells me
        that burial in cement is murder.

Mulder: Excuse me, could you help me find my dog. It's a norweigian
        elkhound. It's name is Heinrich, I use him to hunt moose.

Scully: There weren't any ghosts flying around the precinct.

Mulder: Short of growing a mustache what more will it take?


Mulder: How was the wedding?
Scully: You mean the part where the groom passed out or the dog bit
        the drummer?
Mulder: Did you catch the bouquet?
Scully: Maybe.

Mulder: There is definitely something unexplainable here, Scully, but
        not unidentifiable.

Dr. Barrington: Because of the massive internal damage to the body 
                caused by the car accident we could only preserve the
Scully:         Wouldn't your client find it somehow inconvenient to
                be thawed out in the future only to discover that he
                has no functional mobility?

Mulder: You've got a brother, don't you, Scully?
Scully: Yeah, I have an older one and a younger one.
Mulder: Have you ever thought about calling one of them all day long
        and then all of a suddenly the phone rings and it's one of
        them calling you?
Scully: Does this trace somehow end with a way for me to lower my long
        distance charges?
Mulder: I believe in psychic connections, and evidence suggest that it
        is stronger between family members, strongest of all between
        twin siblings that shared the same room.
Scully: Ok, maybe, but in this case one sibling has closer ties to a
        frozen fudgesicle than he does to his own brother.

        (In lazarus, after the expert on near death experiences gives
         a long monologue about the pilot who strangled his wife with
          an electric cord)
Mulder: It was a nice story.

Scully: Can't you accept that this isn't an X-File?

Greskin: Mulder says he's got something.
Agent:   What?  An alien virus, or new information on the Kennedy

Scully:  I just think it's a good idea not to antagonize local law
Mulder:  Who me?  I'm Mr. Congeniality.
Scully:  You never know, we might need his help one of these days.
Mulder:  I'll send him a bundt cake.


        (Scully holding up a Erlenmeyer flask full of odd-colored
Scully: OK Mulder, but I'm warning you. If this is monkey pee, you're
        on your own.

Deep Throat: Calling it a night Mr. Mulder?
Mulder:      My mother usually likes me home before the street lights
             come on.

Mulder: There's only one (scientist) who owned a silver sierra and
        went bungee jumping with medical gauze around his neck.

Scully: I should know by now to trust your instincts.
Mulder: Why?  Nobody else does.

MIB:    Your cellular phone has been ringing off the hook.
Mulder: I'm a popular guy.  Why don't you answer it for me.
MIB:    Oh, I don't like talking on the phone.  I have this thing
        about unsecured lines.



Student: Are you OK, agent scully? You sounded kinda...spooky.

	(In parking garage)
Mulder: Four dollars for the first hour of parking is criminal. What
        you've got better be worth at least 45 minutes.

Senator: Do you like Bach Mulder?
Mulder:  I live for Bach.

ScullY: So whenever his away i feed his fish.

Scientist: Looks like a wow-signal.

Mulder: No, don't press the red button.

Mulder's Answering Machine: Hello this is Fox Mulder, please leave a message.

Dmitri: Why is this always my job?
Sailor: Because you are young.  And because it is terrible and smelly

Mulder: (Steps in sewer) Ugh!
Norman: Watch yourself.
Mulder: Yeah, wouldn't want to _step_ into anything.

Scully: Mind if I sit here?
Mulder: I have to warn you, I'm having violent impulses.
Scully: I'm armed. I'll take my chances.

        (Mulder looks at fluke)
Mulder: How big can this thing get?
Scully: Sorry, for a second there it felt like old times.

Scully:  This was living inside the body.  Apparently, it had attached
         itself to the bile duct and was feeding off the liver.
Mulder:  LOVE-ly.
Scully:  Believe it or not, something like 40 million people are
         infected worldwide.
Mulder:  This isn't where you tell me some terrible story about sushi,
         is it?
Scully:  Maybe you'd rather hear what you can catch from a nice rare
Mulder:  So....what?  The murder weapon was a nice rare sirloin?

Scully: ...they are not creatures that go around attacking people.
Mulder: Well, that's good.  I didn't want to have to tell Skinner that
        his murder suspect was a giant bloodsucking worm...
Scully: No...

Scully: Platyhelminthes are often hermaphroditic.  Mulder, this is
        amazing. Its vestigial features appear to be parasitic, but
        it has primate physiology.  Where the hell did it come from?
Mulder: I don't know.  But it looks like I'm gonna have to tell
        Skinner that his suspect is a giant bloodsucking worm after

Scully: Mulder, Nature didn't make this thing.  We did...

(Mulder's Screen)

[DOCW4.DIR][DOS]    [EISA]         [EPS]     [EXPL]
[INKJET]  [MOUSE]   [OLD.DOS.1]    [FX]      [FONTS]
[SCSI]    [SPARK]   [SPV]          [TPORT]   [VIDEO]

               39 FILE(S):365,510 BYTES
                         390,742,016 BYTES FREE

Mulder:  Hey, Frohike! Can I borrow these?
Frohike: If I can have Scully's phone number.

Mulder:  Imagine being one of those flies on the wall of the oval
Frohike: Been there. Done that.

Frohike: So, Mulder, where's your little partner?
Mulder:  She wouldn't come. She's afraid of her love for you.
Frohike: She's tasty.
Mulder:  You know Frohike, it's men like you that gives perversion a
         bad name.

	 (asking for night vision binoculars)
Mulder:  Hey Frohike. Can I borrow those?
Frohike: If I can have Scully's phone number.

Mulder: He is probably one of those people who think Elvis is dead.

	(looking at broken doorbell)
Scully: This is odd.
Mulder: Frustrated Jehovah's Witness?

Scully: Must be nice not having someone questioning your every move,
	poking holes in all your theories.
Mulder: Oh. Yeah....Yeah, it's great. I'm surprised I put up with you
	for so long.

        (Krycek and Mulder looking at a scar in victims neck)
Krycek: Records show his only surgery was his appendix.
Mulder: Not unless they got his appendix through his neck.

Mr. X: The truth is still out there, is has never been more dangerous.

Scully: I'm going over the reports you faxed me.  They're incredible.
Mulder: The military already sent troops through radioactive mushroom
        clouds. I guess they figured they had to top themselves,

Mulder: He could need a seasoning in this warddrobe department.

Mulder: Federal agents, drop you weapons!

Mulder: My ideas are usually not very popular.

Krycek: It's a hole new spin on virtual reality.

Smoking Man: Every problem has it's solution.

Krycek: Puts a whole new spin on virtual reality.

Official: Mulder, why are you so paranoid?
Mulder:   It's not paranoia when you're right.
Krycek: Calm down, Scully.
Scully: Don't tell me to calm down. I'm not going to calm down until I
	can talk to someone who will listen to what I'm saying.

Man in Skinner's office: Why are you so paranoid, Mulder?
Mulder:                  Oh, I don't know. Maybe it's because I find
                         it hard to trust anybody.

        (Krycek and Mulder are driving in a car and Mulder almost
         falls asleep at the wheel)
Krycek: The US Department of Transportation estimates that over
        190,000 fatal car crashes every year are caused by sleepiness?
Mulder: Did they estimate how many people are put to sleep listening
        to their statistics?

Officer (to Mulder) You are really upsetting me... on several levels.

"Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood shall have eternal life,
 and I will raise him up on the last day."
                      --(John 6:54) Written in blood on wall

The Son: Don't you want to live forever?
Mulder:  Not if drawstring pants come back into style.

LGM:     How did you get these charts.
Frohike: I hid them in my pants?
Mulder:  Plenty of room there too.

TSM:    I'm in the game because I believe what i'm doing is right.
Mulder: Right? Who are you to decide what's right?
TSM:    Who are *you*?

Melissa Scully: Why is it so dark in here?
Mulder: Because the lights aren't on.

LGM:    Mulder you look down.  You're welcome to come over on
        Saturday. We're going to jump on the internet and nitpick the
        scientific inaccuracies of Earth 2.
Mulder: I'm doing my laundry.

TSM: If you're having trouble sitting on Mulder, Assistant Director,
     Skinner, I'm sure you know that we would have no trouble.

TSM: Don't try and threaten me, Mulder. I've watched presidents die.

TSM: If people were to know of the things I know, it would all fall

TSM: I have more respect for you, Mulder. You're becoming a player.

Melissa: You know, just because it's positive and good, doesn't mean
         it's silly or trite.

Mulder: I brought you something... Superstart of the Superbowl.
Scully: I knew there was a reason to live.

Pierce: I'm afraid to go through proper channels.
Mulder: We're not exactly proper channels.

Mulder: I'm gonna go find Trepkos.
Scully: What if he's already dead?
Mulder: Then he'll have a tough time answering my questions.

Trepkos: I say the Earth holds some truths best left buried.

Mulder: I'm Special Agent Mulder. I'm with the FBI.

Trepkos: You still believe you can petition heaven to get some
         penetrating answer. If you found that answer, what would you
         do with it?

Trepkos: In a single moment, everything that science held sacred
         suddenly turned on its head.

Scully: But not Nixon?
Mulder: No, not even they want to claim Nixon.

Farmer: Says who? The government? Phaaa...

Boy: I gotta drain the lizard.

Mulder: I need your help.
Odin:   What?
Mulder: It would offend your religous sensibilities but it could save
        some lifes.

	(in interrogation room with Oden)
Mulder: You know, for a holy man, you've got quite a knack for pissing
	people off.

Mulder: He's been injecting those kids with alien DNA.

Mulder: Whatever tape you found in that VCR isn't mine.
Scully: Good, because I put it back in that drawer with all those
        other videos that aren't yours.
Mulder: (looking at screen) Well, this definitely isn't mine.

Patient: I've got plumbing older than this building, and it don't work
         much better, either!  (Opens towel to provide a view)
Mulder:  Thank you for sharing.

Scully: What do you think, Mulder?
Mulder: About the guy's plumbing?

Mulder: Are you saying the building's haunted? Because, if you are, I
        think you've been working with me too long, Scully.

Scully: Mulder, mushrooms aren't medication. They taste good on
        hamburgers, but they don't raise the dead.

Scully: Go to hell.

Scully: A woman senses these things.

Mulder: During their time, Cheney's and Ledbetter's ideas weren't very
        well received by their peers.  Using psychology to solve a
        crime was something like...
Scully: Believing in the paranormal?
Mulder: Exactly.  But there's another mystery.
Scully: Which is?
Mulder: Well, I'd like to know why this police woman would suddenly
        drive her car into a field the size of Rhode Island and for
        no rhyme or reason dig up the bones of a man whose been
        missing for 50 years.  I mean unless there was a neon sign
        saying 'Dig Here'...
Scully: I guess that's why we're going to Aubrey.
Mulder: Yes, and, also, I've always been intrigued by women named BJ.

Mulder: Well, I don't want to jump to any rash conclusions but I'd
        say he's definitely our prime subject, huh?
Scully: Mulder, the man we're talking about is 77 years old.
Mulder: Well, George Foreman won the heavyweight crown at 45.
        Some people are late bloomers.

Mulder: Well, I've often felt that dreams are answers to questions we
	haven't yet figured out how to ask.

	(While driving to suspects house in Nebraska)
Mulder: You mean a hunch?
Scully: Yeah, something like that.
Mulder: Well that's a pretty extreme hunch.
Scully: Well I seem to recall you having some pretty extreme hunches.
Mulder: I never have...

Mulder: There are countless stories of twins who are separated
        at birth who end up in the same occupation, marrying
        the same kind of people, each naming their child Waldo.
Scully: Waldo?

BJ: This time you'll stay dead!

Mulder: Well, some people collect salt and pepper shakers.  Fetishists
        collect dead things- fingernails and hair.  Noone quite knows
        why. Though I've never really understood salt and pepper
        shakers myself.

Mulder: You know people videotape police beatings on darkened streets.
        They manage to spot Elvis in three cities across America every
        day.  But none saw a pretty woman being forced off the road in
        her rental car.

Mulder: (to Scully) I don't want to you to think you have to hide
        anything from me.

Bochs:  There was somebody down there in the grave, cut the hair with
        a pair of pinking shears.  Gotta wonder about this guy....
Mulder: Well, at least he wasn't down there with his dippity-do and
        his blow-dryer.

Scully: ...But it would take a python hours... *days* to digest a
Mulder: You really do watch The Learning Channel, don't you?

Mulder: Did you really expect to conjure up the devil and ask him to

??: It's high school. It's normal for students to display abnormal

Scully:	I mean, there's nothing odd about...
        (toads start falling from the sky, then stop)
Mulder:	So, lunch?
Scully:	Mulder, toads just fell from the sky!
Mulder:	Guess their parachutes didn't open.  What did you say about
        this place not feeling odd?

Mulder: I didn't want to excite his already clearly aggravated

Jim:    I would kill anyone who did the things to Shannon that she
Mulder: Not a very Christian tenet.

Mulder: You should *always* carry protection.

         (Mulder and Scully come into the Colonel's office as he's
          having breakfast)
Colonel: I'm sorry, I'm having my breakfast.
Mulder:  That's alright, we already ate.

Mulder:  Well, we'll let you finish.  We wouldn't want your breakfast
         to get cold.

Mulder: ...all worked in abortion clinics. They died in separate arson
Scully: Sounds like the work of militant right-to-lifers.

Scully: I've got a bad feeling about this case, Mulder.
Mulder: What do you mean?
Scully: Well, nothing about it makes sense.  We've got 3 deaths of
        identical victims, no bodies, a virtual non-suspect...
Mulder: Sounds just like an X-File.

        (After Mulder gets hit by car)
Scully:	How you feeling?
Mulder:	Like I should have used the crosswalk.

Scully: Our `friend' from the CIA is about as unbelievable as his
        story. As is everything about this case. I mean, whatever
        happened to `Trust no one'?
Mulder: Oh, I changed it to `Trust everyone'. Didn't I tell you?

Mulder: I think you're being paranoid.

Scully: What are you going to tell Skinner?
Mulder: The truth.  I got hit by a car.

Mulder:          Who is mom talking to?
Mulder's Father: Your sister.

Captain:    Prepare to surface!
Midshipman: Surface into what?  We're under 32 feet of glacial ice!

`Mulder': Okay, I'm going to take my left hand and reach into my
          pocket and get my ID, okay?  Just don't shoot me. I got shot
          once and I didn't much care for it...

`Samantha': I know how to kill him.
Mulder:     How?
`Samantha': By piercing the base of the skull...
Mulder:     That would kill anybody.

Mr. X: You wanted to see me? Mulder: How was the opera? Mr. X: Wonderful. I've never slept better. I don't like these hasty public meetings, Agent Mulder. Mulder: I'm sorry. I need your help. Mr. X: It's over. The fat lady is singing. Skinner: What's going on here agent Mulder? Why are the lights out? Mulder: Orders from my optometrist. Scully: How did you get this? Skinner: Unofficial channels. Assassin: Is the answer to your question worth dying for? Is that what you want? Mulder: Where is she? Just tell me where she is. Assassin: She's alive. Can you die now? Scully: Hey... How you feeling? Mulder: Like I got a bad case of freezer burn. Scully: Thanks for ditching me... Scully: Did you find what you were looking for? Mulder: (whispering) "No... no. But I found something I'd thought I'd lost. Faith to keep looking...

Mulder: It's all happening at the zoo, Scully.

Mulder: I'd be willing to admit the possibility of a tornado, but it's
        not really tornado season.  I'd even be willing to entertain
        the notion of a black hole passing over the area or some
        cosmic anomaly but it's not really black hole season either...
        If I were a betting man, I'd say it was...
Scully: An invisible elephant?
Mulder: I saw David Copperfield make the Statue of Liberty disappear

Scully: What'cha looking for, Mulder?
Mulder: Uhh... local paper.  I wanna see if David Copperfield is in

        (Scully about to preform an autopsy on the elephant)
Scully: This isn't exactly in my job description.
Mulder: Next thing you know they'll be doing it on MTV Sports.

Kyle:   ...All animals should run free.
Scully: Even if that means trampling a man to death?
Kyle:   Maybe he should have gotten out of the way.
Mulder: I'm sure he would have if he had seen it coming.

         (Mulder's cell-phone beeps)
Frohike: (Eyebrows up) If that's the lovely Agent Scully, let her know
         I've been working out... I'm buff!

Scully: There's evidence of hyperplasia and the corpus luteum is
Willa:  That's not possible.
Mulder: Neither is an invisible elephant.

Scully: Something very strange is going on here, Mulder.

Scully: Off by about a hundred years you don't seem to suprised.

Scully: What do you know about free radicals?
Mulder: Is this a quiz?

Mr. Nutt:  I've taken in your all-American features, your dour
           demeanor, your unimaginative necktie design, and concluded
           you work for the government.  An FBI Agent.  But do you see
           the tragedy here?  I have mistakenly reduced you to a
           stereotype. A caricature.  Instead of regarding you as a
           specific, unique individual.
Mulder:    But I am an FBI agent.

Dr. Blockhead: Did you know that through the protective Chinese art of
               tu bwan you can train your testicles to draw up into
               your abdomen?
Mulder:        Oh, I'm doing that as we speak.

Mr. Nutt: You'd be surprised how many women find my size intriguingly 
Mulder:   You'd be surprised how many men do as well. (Smiles

               (Mulder and Scully are caught digging in Sheriff
                Hamilton's back yard)
Dr. Blockhead: I don't answer any questions until I talk to my lawyer.
Scully:        Who's your lawyer?
Dr. Blockhead: I represent myself.

        (Scully pulls cricket she "ate" from behind Mulder's ear)
Scully: It's an old sleight of hand my uncle taught me.  He was only
        an amateur magician but he was still better than those two.
Mulder: Well I'm going over to the lab to see if they can test the
        blood on the window against the blood on Dr. Blockhead's nail.
        (Produces nail from mid-air) Everybody's uncle's an amateur

Chuck:  In 1979 I witnessed a guru named Sala Baba (sp?) create an
        entire feast out of thin air.
Scully: Too bad you didn't take a picture.  You could have run it
        through your computer and seen the entire Last Supper.

Scully: According to the briefing, prisoners escaped by hiding in a
        laundry cart.
Mulder: I don't think the guards are watching enough prison movies.

Marshall: Well then you'd be a real big help is you just tried to...
          out of the way.
Mulder:   Well, we'd be happy to, soon as we can talk to someone who's
          in CHARGE...
Marshall: (Peeved) I'm in charge here.
Mulder:   Apparently not, or you'd know why our involvement was

Scully: Where are you going?
Mulder: To see if I can get in the way.

Mulder: Deadly? How deadly?
Scully: Well, from what I've seen so far, 36 hours after infection

TSM:    The truth would have caused panic.  Panic would have cost
        lives. We control the disease by controlling the information.
Mulder: You can't protect the public by lying.
TSM:    It's done every day...

Skinner: Agent Mulder.  I'm saying this as a friend. Watch your back.
         This is just the beginning.

Kelly:  Agent Scully, what are you looking at?
Scully: Uh, the heat register.
Kelly:  You don't think anyone could have squeezed in there?
Mulder: You never know...

Det. Beren: Yeah, I was just wondering what your involvement is here.
Mulder:     We caught the guy.

Mulder: ...He believes the government is out to get him.
Mr X:   It's tax season.  So do most Americans.

Mulder: Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to
        get you, Scully.

Scully: I just came up with a sick theory.
Mulder: Oooo, I'm listening!

Mulder:  Well I'd like it dragged as soon as possible.
Sheriff: Why would ya wanna do that?
Mulder:  To see what's in there.

Scully: All of them share one strange detail, Mulder.
Mulder: Well they seem to have lost their heads...

Thinker: I.. I don't want you to know my real name.  I.. I just don't
         think it's that important that you know.
Mulder:  Sounds like a line I used in a bar once.

Scully: What is this?
Mulder: The Holy Grail...

Scully: Mulder, are you okay?
Mulder: Yeah, I just haven't been sleeping.

Mulder: You shot me!
Scully: Yes, I did.  You didn't give me much choice.  You were about
        to kill Krycek.
Mulder: Why'd you shoot ME?  HE'S the one...

Mulder: But these aren't human, Scully.  From the look of it I'd say
        they were alien.
Scully: Are you sure?
Mulder: I'm pretty damn sure

        (Mulder throws crushed paper across his office, misses and
Mulder: Michal Jorden's safe for this year.

Unknown edisodes

Scully: Are you certain it was an accident?

Scully: Under any other circumstances my first call would have been to
        the government.

Mulder: Will you call me if anything happens?

Scully: How can you be so certain?

Mulder: That's all we got.
Scully: After all he's given us. How is this deep throat character? I
         mean, we don't know anything about him, what his name is, who
         he does?
Mulder: He is in a delicate position. He has access to information, an
        indiscretion could expose him.
Scully: You don't know it this isn't a game of him, he is toying with
        you, rashing up the facts.
Mulder: You think he does it because he get off on it?
Scully: No, I think he does it because you do.

Ola Mårtensson: http://www.df.lth.se/~ola

Time-stamp: <2012-10-23 14:09:38 ola>