In some bacon article _amp <AdamJ@iol.ie> stated:
>Magnus Mulqvist wrote:
>> In article <4l0qfg$5a8@news.bu.edu> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes:
>> >Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@compuserve.com) wrote:
>> >: a machine that places across the
>> >: screen
>> >: brightly-colored objects
>> >: that make me happy
>> >: know what i mean?
>>
>> >: --Bill
>>
>> >YES, I DO
>> >YES, ME TOO!!1
>> >SEND NAKEDD PEECTOORS PLEASE
>> >OF BULLOKK, HATCHER, AND TINA LOUISE!
>>
>> >Ross--who may give new meaning to "waxing poetic" but doesn't want to start
>> >another one of "those threads."
>>
>> And why not, my good man? I'm getting to feel more and more like
>> one of "those threads" is what we'd need here in the middle of
>> all kindsa biblists and meowists and constitutionalists and such.
>> We'd need sheer STOOPIDITY!!
Or an abundance of ASCII graphics!
>> *MM -- who has stunned himself by that "cosnt..." oh well.
Antidisestablishmentarism?
>HOOOOOOO!!!!
...s in da house!!!
Let me hear you say Wheeeee!!!
>-- amp: WHEEEEEEEE!!!!!
Let me say you hear Whaaaaa!!!
>__ ___ ____
>\ \/ /\\___ | _ \SOON! "Giant V Takes Over The World!!!"-the motion picture.
> \ /_[____] | __/Chester LIVES! Special padding and more names dropped at:
> \/(o_____o)|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
^^^^^^^^^
Wait a minnit!!! That's a god damn TANK!
They've spotted us, Sir!
>__ ___ / ____
>\ \/ /\\___ | _ \SOON! "Giant V Takes Over The World!!!"-the motion picture.
> \ /_[____] | __/Chester LIVES! Special padding and more names dropped at:
> \/(o_____o)|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
Full speed ahead!
>__ ___ \ ____
>\ \/ /\\___ | _ \SOON! "Giant V Takes Over The World!!!"-the motion picture.
> \ /_[____] | __/Chester LIVES! Special padding and more names dropped at:
> \/(o_____o)|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
>__ ___ ____
>\ V /\\___ | _ \SOON! "Giant V Takes Over The World!!!"-the motion picture.
> \ /_[____] | __/Chester LIVES! Special padding and more names dropped at:
> \(o_____o) |_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
>__ __ ____
>\ V/\\___ | _ \SOON! "Giant V Takes Over The World!!!"-the motion picture.
> \/_[____] | __/Chester LIVES! Special padding and more names dropped at:
> (o_____o)..|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
INCOMING!!!
>__ _ / ____
>\ /\\___ | _ \SOON! "Giant V Takes Over The World!!!"-the motion picture.
> V_[____] | __/Chester LIVES! Special padding and more names dropped at:
> (o_____o)...|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
Way off!
>_ _ / ____
>\/\\___ | _ \SOON! "Giant V Ta \ | / r The World!!!"-the motion picture.
> _[____] | __/Chester LIVES! Sp -POP- adding and more names dropped at:
>(o_____o)....|_| http:// / | \ .iol.ie/~adamj
We're almost there!
>_ _ / ____
>\\\___ | _ \SOON! "Giant V Ta \ | / r The World!!!"-the motion picture.
>_[____] | __/Chester LIVES! Sp -POP- adding and more names dropped at:
(o_____o).....|_| http://ire|and.iol.ie/~adamj
They're getting closer!
>_ / ____
>\\___ | _ \S \ | / iant V Ta \ | / r The World!!!"-the motion picture.
_[____] | __/C -POP- LIVES! Sp -POP- adding and more names dropped at:
o_____o)......|_| / | \ http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
...almost there!
_ / ____
\\___ | _ \S \|/ iant V Ta \|/ r The World!!!"-the motion picture.
[____] | __/C -O- LIVES! Sp -O- adding and more names dropped at:
_____o).......|_| /|\ http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
Watch out!!!
/ ____
\___ | _ \S `|' iant V Ta `|' r The World!!!"-the motion picture.
____] | __/C -o- LIVES! Sp -o- adding and more names dropped at:
____o)........|_| '|` http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
AAARRGH!!!
. ./ . ____
\ | / | _ \S`|'iant V Ta`|'r The World!!!"-the motion picture.
.-POP-. | __/C-o-LIVES! Sp-o-adding and more names dropped at:
://|\\::......|_| '|` http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
. ____
.\ | / | _ \S : iant V Ta : r The World!!!"-the motion picture.
.-POP-. | __/C o LIVES! Sp o adding and more names dropped at:
:/:|:\::......|_| : http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
____
` : ' . | _ \S . iant V Ta . r The World!!!"-the motion picture.
.-POP- | __/C . LIVES! Sp . adding and more names dropped at:
:':::`:.......|_| . http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
____
. . . | _ \S.iant V Ta.r The World!!!"-the motion picture.
_pOp_ . | __/C.LIVES! Sp.adding and more names dropped at:
.:::::........|_| . http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
____
. | _ \S iant V Ta r The World!!!"-the motion picture.
.pop. | __/C LIVES! Sp adding and more names dropped at:
.:::::..:.....|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
____
| _ \Siant V Tar The World!!!"-the motion picture.
:o: | __/C LIVES! Spadding and more names dropped at:
.:::::..:.....|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
____
| _ \Siant V Tar The World!!!"-the motion picture.
.:. | __/C LIVES! Spadding and more names dropped at:
.:::::........|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
____
, | _ \Siant V Tar The World!!!"-the motion picture.
.:. | __/C LIVES! Spadding and more names dropped at:
.:::::........|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
____
; | _ \Siant V Tar The World!!!"-the motion picture.
.:. | __/C LIVES! Spadding and more names dropped at:
.:::::.:...:..|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
. ____
| | _ \Siant V Tar The World!!!"-the motion picture.
.:. | __/C LIVES! Spadding and more names dropped at:
.:::::.|...|..|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
v ____
| | _ \Siant V Tar The World!!!"-the motion picture.
.:. a m | __/C LIVES! Spadding and more names dropped at:
.:::::.|...|..|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
V ____
| | _ \Siant V Tar The World!!!"-the motion picture.
.:. A M | __/C LIVES! Spadding and more names dropped at:
.:::::.|...|..|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
V ____
|, | _ \Siant V Tar The World!!!"-the motion picture.
| A M | __/C LIVES! Spadding and more names dropped at:
..:::..|,..|,.|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
V ____
`|, A M | _ \Siant V Tar The World!!!"-the motion picture.
| ,|. ;|; | __/C LIVES! Spadding and more names dropped at:
..:::..|,..|,.|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
-V- ____
\|/ A /\/\ | _ \Siant V Tar The World!!!"-the motion picture.
| /|\ :||: | __/C LIVES! Spadding and more names dropped at:
..:::.:|:.:||:.|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
--v-- -- ____
\./ || /\/\ | _ \Siant V Tar The World!!!"-the motion picture.
:|: / \ |\/| | __/C LIVES! Spadding and more names dropped at:
..:|:;_/\_;|__|.|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
__ __ _ _ ____
\ | / /\ / \/ \| _ \Siant V Tar The World!!!"-the motion picture.
\ / / \ | \/ || __/C LIVES! Spadding and more names dropped at:
..|_|/_/\_\|_||_||_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
__ __ _ _ ____
\ \/ //\ | \ / || _ \Siant V Tar The World!!!"-the motion picture.
\ // \ | \/ || __/C LIVES! Spadding and more names dropped at:
.\//_/\_\|_|\/|_||_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
__ __ __ __ ____
\ \/ //\ | \ / || _ \Siant V Tar The World!!!"-the motion picture.
\ // \ | \ \/ / || __/C LIVES! Spadding and more names dropped at:
\//_/\_\|_|\__/|_||_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
/^JN - The Anti JN - How about that for a comeback?
--
######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ########
# The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc #
# Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se #
############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
Flapjack (nosmith@vassar.edu) wrote: : In article <317291b5.21582504@news.cris.com> : abesmith@reah.special.edu writes: : > : > because you all suck : Dammit Abe! I thought you were supposed to be in Germany eating Mentos : and Bratwurst! What? What? I fall asleep at the terminal for a while and the Reahmeister has set out to invade the continent? I've got to alert the troops and man the Bacon-tanks! If he gets near the Jägermeister, there's no knowing what will happen! -Princess WhiteGoat
In article <4l4oeq$be9@carbon.cudenver.edu> tckelsey@ouray.cudenver.edu (TWEETY BIRD) writes:
>--
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>XX XXXX XXXXX X X X XXXX XXX
>X XX XX X XXX XXX XXX XX
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>XX XX XX XXX X X X
> X XXX XX X X X
> XXXXXXXXXXX XXXX XXXXX
> XXXXXXXXXX
>--
This thing reminds me faintly of something... but just in case...
_
| |
XX~¨¨ ¨¨~XX
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X X X XXXX XXXX X XX X
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XXXXXXXXXXX XXXX XXXXX
XXXXXXXXXX
*MM
Tjo! I'm back in the saddle, I've been reading our precious froup now and then, but haven't had the time to post anything. I can't promise to respond to fluffy behaviour instantly, but I'll do my best to cut down on the fluffyness. /^JN - The Anti JN - Niet Bedekken. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
[playgerise] every now and then i get a little bit lonely but my newsfeed's going down [playgerise] every now and then i get a little bit tired of thinking up new stuff on my own [playgerise] every now and then i get a little bit nervous that the longest of all the threads have gone by [playgerise] every now and then i get a little bit terrified cause Ross socked someone once and they died [playgerise] (get socked) every now and then i fall apart but i need to post tonight and i need to more than ever and if i only do it right this thread will last forever [playgerise] every now and then i get a little bit restless and i think up something wild [playgerise] every now and then i get a little bit helpless and i'm stealing like a thief from your mouth [playgerise] every now and then Ross gets a little sock happy but i know i've got to login: and try cause i need to post tonight and i need to more than ever and if i only do it right this thread will last forever together we can take it to the end of all time if people would quit messin' with the Subject: line! i don't know if i'm a blond cause i'm always in a daze i'm living strangest world and it's all a haze i'm gonna post this alright, and Ross is gonna sock me tonight yes Ross is gonna sock me tonight once upon a time i was riding a train but now i think i'm going insane there's no way to explain, a total eclipse of the brane once upon a time there was life in my head but now it's only empty and dead no way to explain, a total eclipse of the brane [playgerise] every now and then i know i'll never be the Big Frog like the one i thought i wanted to be [playgerise] but every now and then i know you'll always be the Bigest Frog wut socked me just the way that i am [playgerise] every now and then i know there's no Frog in the universe as Big a Frog as you and that's true [playgerise] every now and then i know there's no Frog any Bigger there's no Frog quite as Heavy as you [playgerise] (get socked) every now and then i fall apart i think i'll post this alright! but Ross is gonna sock me tonight yes Ross is gonna sock me tonight -- Steve keyboard failure press any key to continue
In article <elvi.vtkk.v1wki.2298.019F401E@memo.vtkk.fi>,
elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi says...
>
>In article <ATAYLOR.96Apr6111753@gauss.nmsu.edu> ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy)
writes:
>><In article <4k2dfb$cdt$1@mhadg.production.compuserve.com Bill Wilkinson
>><70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes:
>
>><I try to go outside, but this solid object blocks my progress.
>>open door
>>:Door is open
>>Walk through door
>>:You can't do that!
>>Walk through doorway
>>:You are in a twisty maze of URL's, all alike
>
>walk to http://www.kolumbus.fi/daisy/en1/index.html
YOU USE WORD(S) I DON'T KNOW!
go east
THAT PATH IS BLOCKED
go west
THAT PATH IS BLOCKED
go north
THAT PATH IS BLOCKED
go south
YOU USE WORD(S) I DON'T KNOW!
quit
YOU USE WORD(S) I DON'T KNOW!
exit
THAT PATH IS BLOCKED
stop
?REDO FROM START ERROR
READY
**** COMMODORE 64 BASIC V2 ****
64K RAM SYSTEM 38911 BASIC BYTES FREE
READY.
Oh great, now I've turned the internet into a Commodore 64. Sorry, guys.
Darth Vader
Anti JN reporting LIVE!! from the scene: > > In some bacon article _amp <AdamJ@iol.ie> stated: > >Magnus Mulqvist wrote: > >> In article <4l0qfg$5a8@news.bu.edu> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: > >> >Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@compuserve.com) wrote: > >> >: a machine that places across the > >> >: screen > >> >: brightly-colored objects > >> >: that make me happy > >> >: know what i mean? > >> > >> >: --Bill > >> > >> >YES, I DO > >> >YES, ME TOO!!1 > >> >SEND NAKEDD PEECTOORS PLEASE > >> >OF BULLOKK, HATCHER, AND TINA LOUISE! > >> > >> >Ross--who may give new meaning to "waxing poetic" but doesn't want to start > >> >another one of "those threads." > >> > >> And why not, my good man? I'm getting to feel more and more like > >> one of "those threads" is what we'd need here in the middle of > >> all kindsa biblists and meowists and constitutionalists and such. > >> We'd need sheer STOOPIDITY!! > > Or an abundance of ASCII graphics! > > >> *MM -- who has stunned himself by that "cosnt..." oh well. > > Antidisestablishmentarism? > > >HOOOOOOO!!!! > > ...s in da house!!! > Let me hear you say Wheeeee!!! > > >-- amp: WHEEEEEEEE!!!!! > > Let me say you hear Whaaaaa!!! WHAAAAAAAA!! > > >__ ___ ____ > >\ \/ /\\___ | _ \SOON! "Giant V Takes Over The World!!!"-the motion picture. > > \ /_[____] | __/Chester LIVES! Special padding and more names dropped at: > > \/(o_____o)|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj > ^^^^^^^^^ > > Wait a minnit!!! That's a god damn TANK! Shit, I hope customs doesn't see the smuggled tank > > They've spotted us, Sir! > >__ ___ / ____ > >\ \/ /\\___ | _ \SOON! "Giant V Takes Over The World!!!"-the motion picture. > > \ /_[____] | __/Chester LIVES! Special padding and more names dropped at: > > \/(o_____o)|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj > [Bosnia-like scene of sheer destuction followed by peace and regrowth censored due to the extreme nature of it's content] > > __ __ _ _ ____ > \ \/ //\ | \ / || _ \Siant V Tar The World!!!"-the motion picture. > \ // \ | \/ || __/C LIVES! Spadding and more names dropped at: > .\//_/\_\|_|\/|_||_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj Damn!! there's goes my short career as an arms smuggler *sigh* hah well back to ANY key design.. -- amp: who's redesigning of his .sig is starting to affect his work.. __ ______ \ \/ /| _ \WARNING V's can seriously damage your health!! \ / | __/Wubley!Wubley!Wubley!at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj \/ |_| v2.78 and counting. "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn
In some bacon article sdc@teleport.com () stated: >Oh come on now you don't check here for your personal E-Mail! I don't? Where then? >Steve >keyboard failure press any key to continue n /^JN - The Anti JN - Inquriururing minds want to now. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) wrote: >In some bacon article _amp <AdamJ@iol.ie> stated: >>Magnus Mulqvist wrote: >>> In article <4l0qfg$5a8@news.bu.edu> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: >>> >Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@compuserve.com) wrote: >>> >: a machine that places across the >>> >: screen >>> >: brightly-colored objects >>> >: that make me happy >>> >: know what i mean? >>> >>> >: --Bill >>> >>> >YES, I DO >>> >YES, ME TOO!!1 >>> >SEND NAKEDD PEECTOORS PLEASE >>> >OF BULLOKK, HATCHER, AND TINA LOUISE! >>> >>> >Ross--who may give new meaning to "waxing poetic" but doesn't want to start >>> >another one of "those threads." >>> >>> And why not, my good man? I'm getting to feel more and more like >>> one of "those threads" is what we'd need here in the middle of >>> all kindsa biblists and meowists and constitutionalists and such. >>> We'd need sheer STOOPIDITY!! > >Or an abundance of ASCII graphics! > >>> *MM -- who has stunned himself by that "cosnt..." oh well. > >Antidisestablishmentarism? > >>HOOOOOOO!!!! > >...s in da house!!! >Let me hear you say Wheeeee!!! > >>-- amp: WHEEEEEEEE!!!!! > >Let me say you hear Whaaaaa!!! > >>__ ___ ____ >>\ \/ /\\___ | _ \SOON! "Giant V Takes Over The World!!!"-the motion picture. >> \ /_[____] | __/Chester LIVES! Special padding and more names dropped at: >> \/(o_____o)|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj > ^^^^^^^^^ > >Wait a minnit!!! That's a god damn TANK! > > They've spotted us, Sir! >>__ ___ / ____ >>\ \/ /\\___ | _ \SOON! "Giant V Takes Over The World!!!"-the motion picture. >> \ /_[____] | __/Chester LIVES! Special padding and more names dropped at: >> \/(o_____o)|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj > > Full speed ahead! >>__ ___ \ ____ >>\ \/ /\\___ | _ \SOON! "Giant V Takes Over The World!!!"-the motion picture. >> \ /_[____] | __/Chester LIVES! Special padding and more names dropped at: >> \/(o_____o)|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj > >>__ ___ ____ >>\ V /\\___ | _ \SOON! "Giant V Takes Over The World!!!"-the motion picture. >> \ /_[____] | __/Chester LIVES! Special padding and more names dropped at: >> \(o_____o) |_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj > >>__ __ ____ >>\ V/\\___ | _ \SOON! "Giant V Takes Over The World!!!"-the motion picture. >> \/_[____] | __/Chester LIVES! Special padding and more names dropped at: >> (o_____o)..|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj > > INCOMING!!! >>__ _ / ____ >>\ /\\___ | _ \SOON! "Giant V Takes Over The World!!!"-the motion picture. >> V_[____] | __/Chester LIVES! Special padding and more names dropped at: >> (o_____o)...|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj > > Way off! >>_ _ / ____ >>\/\\___ | _ \SOON! "Giant V Ta \ | / r The World!!!"-the motion picture. >> _[____] | __/Chester LIVES! Sp -POP- adding and more names dropped at: >>(o_____o)....|_| http:// / | \ .iol.ie/~adamj > > We're almost there! >>_ _ / ____ >>\\\___ | _ \SOON! "Giant V Ta \ | / r The World!!!"-the motion picture. >>_[____] | __/Chester LIVES! Sp -POP- adding and more names dropped at: >(o_____o).....|_| http://ire|and.iol.ie/~adamj > > They're getting closer! >>_ / ____ >>\\___ | _ \S \ | / iant V Ta \ | / r The World!!!"-the motion picture. >_[____] | __/C -POP- LIVES! Sp -POP- adding and more names dropped at: >o_____o)......|_| / | \ http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj > > ...almost there! >_ / ____ >\\___ | _ \S \|/ iant V Ta \|/ r The World!!!"-the motion picture. >[____] | __/C -O- LIVES! Sp -O- adding and more names dropped at: >_____o).......|_| /|\ http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj > > Watch out!!! > / ____ >\___ | _ \S `|' iant V Ta `|' r The World!!!"-the motion picture. >____] | __/C -o- LIVES! Sp -o- adding and more names dropped at: >____o)........|_| '|` http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj > > AAARRGH!!! >. ./ . ____ > \ | / | _ \S`|'iant V Ta`|'r The World!!!"-the motion picture. >.-POP-. | __/C-o-LIVES! Sp-o-adding and more names dropped at: >://|\\::......|_| '|` http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj > > . ____ >.\ | / | _ \S : iant V Ta : r The World!!!"-the motion picture. >.-POP-. | __/C o LIVES! Sp o adding and more names dropped at: >:/:|:\::......|_| : http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj > > ____ > ` : ' . | _ \S . iant V Ta . r The World!!!"-the motion picture. >.-POP- | __/C . LIVES! Sp . adding and more names dropped at: >:':::`:.......|_| . http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj > > ____ > . . . | _ \S.iant V Ta.r The World!!!"-the motion picture. > _pOp_ . | __/C.LIVES! Sp.adding and more names dropped at: >.:::::........|_| . http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj > > ____ > . | _ \S iant V Ta r The World!!!"-the motion picture. > .pop. | __/C LIVES! Sp adding and more names dropped at: >.:::::..:.....|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj > > ____ > | _ \Siant V Tar The World!!!"-the motion picture. > :o: | __/C LIVES! Spadding and more names dropped at: >.:::::..:.....|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj > > ____ > | _ \Siant V Tar The World!!!"-the motion picture. > .:. | __/C LIVES! Spadding and more names dropped at: >.:::::........|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj > > ____ > , | _ \Siant V Tar The World!!!"-the motion picture. > .:. | __/C LIVES! Spadding and more names dropped at: >.:::::........|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj > > ____ > ; | _ \Siant V Tar The World!!!"-the motion picture. > .:. | __/C LIVES! Spadding and more names dropped at: >.:::::.:...:..|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj > > . ____ > | | _ \Siant V Tar The World!!!"-the motion picture. > .:. | __/C LIVES! Spadding and more names dropped at: >.:::::.|...|..|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj > > v ____ > | | _ \Siant V Tar The World!!!"-the motion picture. > .:. a m | __/C LIVES! Spadding and more names dropped at: >.:::::.|...|..|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj > > V ____ > | | _ \Siant V Tar The World!!!"-the motion picture. > .:. A M | __/C LIVES! Spadding and more names dropped at: >.:::::.|...|..|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj > > V ____ > |, | _ \Siant V Tar The World!!!"-the motion picture. > | A M | __/C LIVES! Spadding and more names dropped at: >..:::..|,..|,.|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj > > V ____ > `|, A M | _ \Siant V Tar The World!!!"-the motion picture. > | ,|. ;|; | __/C LIVES! Spadding and more names dropped at: >..:::..|,..|,.|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj > > -V- ____ > \|/ A /\/\ | _ \Siant V Tar The World!!!"-the motion picture. > | /|\ :||: | __/C LIVES! Spadding and more names dropped at: >..:::.:|:.:||:.|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj > > --v-- -- ____ > \./ || /\/\ | _ \Siant V Tar The World!!!"-the motion picture. > :|: / \ |\/| | __/C LIVES! Spadding and more names dropped at: >..:|:;_/\_;|__|.|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj > > __ __ _ _ ____ > \ | / /\ / \/ \| _ \Siant V Tar The World!!!"-the motion picture. > \ / / \ | \/ || __/C LIVES! Spadding and more names dropped at: >..|_|/_/\_\|_||_||_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj > >__ __ _ _ ____ >\ \/ //\ | \ / || _ \Siant V Tar The World!!!"-the motion picture. > \ // \ | \/ || __/C LIVES! Spadding and more names dropped at: > .\//_/\_\|_|\/|_||_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj > >__ __ __ __ ____ >\ \/ //\ | \ / || _ \Siant V Tar The World!!!"-the motion picture. > \ // \ | \ \/ / || __/C LIVES! Spadding and more names dropped at: > \//_/\_\|_|\__/|_||_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj Well, jeez. That's too subtle... http://ourworld/compurserve.com:80/homepages/W_Wilkinson1/kaboom.gif --Bill (who likes the big bang theory) -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
In article <31795269.6304372@news.cris.com> fts@cris.com (Chester Karma) writes: > On 19 Apr 1996 03:44:27 GMT, sdc@teleport.com () wrote: > > >Ross Garmil (limrag@bu.edu) wrote: > > > >: Ross--who may give new meaning to "waxing poetic" but doesn't want to start > >: another one of "those threads." > > > >water > > I like nicotine. > > Antelope Freeway 16 miles flapjack-who's on a hunt, he's after you -- Flapjack, the Guilt Toad whose goatee has vanished! "please remove alt.sex.fetish.diapers from your posting list. your drivel does not fit the purpose of the group. Thank You."--John M. Chen The only known picture of the goatee can be found at: HTTP://students.vassar.edu/~nosmith/nosmith.html
sdc@teleport.com () waffled: >Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: >: I was going through my backlog of CI$ mail and found a >: subject that read "I QUIT MY FUCKI" and nothing else. > >: What the hell is a fucki???? > >I don't know. maybe it's the plural of fuckus you know as in cactus - cacti or even the singular as in fucki - fuckice for di - dice fish - who making it up as he goes along BOIGFO fish@pondlife.demon.co.uk (aka Kev Salmon) "my opinions are probably out of date" http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/kev_fish/fishhome.htm going against the flow...
dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) proclaimed:
:Tjo!
Like a tjo-tjo you're back? Great! alt.stupidity as been
under seige.
:I'm back in the saddle, I've been reading our precious froup
:now and then, but haven't had the time to post anything.
:I can't promise to respond to fluffy behaviour instantly,
:but I'll do my best to cut down on the fluffyness.
Gird up your ASCII sword and help us stave off the meow-meows!
--Bill
--
"WWW is the largest vanity press in the world."
(Found scrawled on the Tomb of the Unregistered Voter.)
Names have been dropped and added at
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
tv's Spatch wrote: > > And thus did cox@nyc.pipeline.com (Terrance Cox) spake, speaking: > > > > >There was a post on alt.adoption, Fri, 23 Feb 1996, Advertising New York > >Births & Deaths 2 CD set of people born or died in the State of New York. > >All Counties are represented on the 2 CDs. It goes on to say, however not > >every person born or died is on the CD. It said they are the most sought > >after CDs in the adoption, heir finding or detective work. It cost $139.00 > >plus $6.95 UPS. WELL I RECEIVED THE SET TODAY AND TESTED IT WITH 74 NAMES > >IN MY OWN FAMILY. NOT ONE OF THEM SHOWED UP. > > Well, maybe you and your family just DON'T EXIST. > Imagine a post, a seemingly ordinary post, but deep inside there lies a strange mystery *Twilight Zone theme* "The Post From the Geek who didn't Exist" -- amp: Sandwich DOWN! __ ______ \ \/ /| _ \WARNING V's can seriously damage your health!! \ / | __/Wubley!Wubley!Wubley!at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj \/ |_| v2.78 and counting. "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn
bayshore@intrepid.net (Churak) wrote:
:In article <4lbufk$4hi@crcnis3.unl.edu>,
: raccoon@cse.unl.edu (Joshua Hesse) wrote:
:>In alt.acme.exploding.newsgroup, on 20 Apr 1996 21:50:10 GMT,
:Jon Krueger (jpk@firefly.incog.com) wrote:
:>: Benzene 8
:>
:>: Arsenic 5
:>
:> Gunpowder None! *
:>
:>* Only when used in an official Acme Corp. Exploding Cigar.
:> "Mildly blended, Fine tobacco"
:Do you have any available statistics for fatalities caused by
:anvils being dropped on heads?
Ask Virk or Abe.
--Bill
--
"WWW is the largest vanity press in the world."
(Found scrawled on the Tomb of the Unregistered Voter.)
Names have been dropped and added at
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Johnny Kuo (jkuo@midway.uchicago.edu) wrote: : -- : .__. ._. Johnny Kuo : / \/ \ ,,, jkuo@midway.uchicago.edu : | |===O=============|||} http://student-www.uchicago.edu/users/jkuo : \.__./\._./ ``` (312)-834-5070 Oh that is so gross. I mean really! -- Steve keyboard failure press any key to continue
David Case (dcase@berk.net) wrote: : >add: Put a brick on the accelerator and put it into drive to get: : >unmanned and not remote controlled speed record on land ?? ;-) : Addendum to the above: Be sure said brick is a BigFuckingHeavyRedBrick (tm), : or else the whole scene won't be <bold>nearly</bold> as funny. Did anyone see the Cops episode where that car was going backwards in a circle with nobody in it and some rookie said "We can shoot the tires out" and the other Cop said "No." ? Man that would have been cool. -- Steve keyboard failure press any key to continue
In some bacon article sdc@teleport.com () stated:
>
> __(GrrAWAGH! GrAWAH! GHRRrrr!!!)
> uUu , ,/
> (btd) ("\''/").__..--''"'_.
> \O/ --(HEELLLLP!) `9_ 9 ) `_. ( ).`-.__.`)
> />:<\ ( Y .)' ._ ) ` `.`'_..-'
> / (_) \ _..`--''_..-_/ /--'_.' .'
> _| |_ (il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
*THWOCK*
> __(Urk!!!)
> uUu , ,/
> (btd) ("\''/")
> \o/ --(Oh! Thank you!) `+_ + )
> />:<\ ( Y .)'
> / (_) \ `--'
> _| |_
Shut up, luser!
*THWOCK*
>
> uUu , ,
> (+t+) ("\''/")
> \O/ --(UCK!) `+_ + )
> ( Y .)'
> `--'
>Steve
>keyboard failure press any key to continue
Ha! I first read this as "Failure to press keyboard will key continuation".
/^JN - The Anti JN - Which is another thing completely.
--
######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ########
# The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc #
# Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se #
############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In some bacon article limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) stated: >Magnus Mulqvist (elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi) wrote: >: In article <4l5snh$5be@news.bu.edu> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: > >: >I tell you mean, those meows are just no darned good for no one, no sir. >: >Ross--who's pretty sure those negatives don't cancel each other out. > >: So could you help me with this line from a John Huston movie (the name >: escapes me), where a used car salesman says: "This car ain't made >: by no [expl deleted]". I still haven't figured it out. > >: *MM > >Well just look at the independent clause, that being the clause that moved >out of home and no longer has to put up with mom & dad's shit: "This car >ain't made." > >It means that the car just appeared, it's a natural car, like the kinda you >find in the Amazon. Hey! I used to have a Volvo Amazon. But I sold it to buy cheese... Stay off the cheese kids, it's no good! >Ross--who saw both the MST3K movie and a BareNaked Ladies concert yesterday; >he's very happy about this. Huh? Huh? Is that legal? /^JN - The Anti JN - Who's real legal nowadays. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In article <ATAYLOR.96Apr17160242@gauss.nmsu.edu> ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writes: ><In article <elvi.vtkk.v1wki.2322.00E067E7@memo.vtkk.fi> >elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) writes: ><In article <ATAYLOR.96Apr14122720@gauss.nmsu.edu> ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) >writes: ><><In article <4kn6nf$6af$1@mhadf.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson ><><70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: ><>< --Bill (tune in next month when i either sell out to fig ><>< bar man or switch to talk.bizarre) ><> What's fig bar man paying? ><Attention, possibly, unlike many of the rest. > Huh? Now listen and pay attention! The fig bar man is not human! He can't be reasoned with! He can't be bargained with! He feels no pain!! *MM
Jessica Twitchell (jessica@cs.chalmers.se) wrote: : In article <4l359d$h1a@news.bu.edu> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: : : a few Swiss jokes though. I won't tell 'em though, a'cos I have : : this sneaking suspicion you don't think my jokes are danged funny. : Why would you think that? What did I do to give you that impression? : Oh please please tell me I haven't forsaken you, Jezebell, I know so : few Biblical harlots. : You mean you still appreciate my wonderful...well, maybe sort of : mediocre perhaps...humour? Even if I'm a Biblical harlot? I have : a great vineyard you know. I stole it from this guy named Naboth... Of course I do. And even if I had a problem, between living in the midwest and Scandinavia, I understand that you've faced many challenges--and that I probably just got in trouble. As far as touring your vineyard is concerned, well...ahem.....I'm .....wow......Naboth, eh? Well....um....no, the thought doesn't make me nervous at all.....ahem. : : Jezebell--who sees that Ross got over it... : Ross--who didn't really get over it, he just had very heavy sinuses. : No, really. : I have that problem too. I often find myself in situations where I can't : breathe through my nose. Like now for instance. *sniff* Nope, it does : no good. Those are the times I find it helpful to open my mouth. : Jezebell--who wonders why she spelled humour with a 'u'..... : also...I think Ross is the best Big Frog I er...know...and he uses ellipsis : points too! Neato! Aw, shucks...and I think Jezebell is the neatest Biblical harlot I know. Ross--who never realized ellipses were such a lifestyle choice before.
Ross Garmil wrote: > > Jessica Twitchell (jessica@cs.chalmers.se) wrote: > Of course I do. And even if I had a problem, between living in the midwest > and Scandinavia, I understand that you've faced many challenges--and that I Yeah! Riding the trams isn't as easy as one might think. After all, everyone on there speaks Swedish! Sheesh! > well...ahem.....I'm .....wow......Naboth, eh? Well....um....no, the thought > doesn't make me nervous at all.....ahem. It's a really nice vin.....er nevermind. *blush* Hehe...boy do I feel silly. > : breathe through my nose. Like now for instance. *sniff* Nope, it does > : no good. > > Those are the times I find it helpful to open my mouth. Or take my fingers out of my nose. It's risky, but it just might work. Aw, shucks...and I think Jezebell is the neatest Biblical harlot I know. Wow! Now I feel so loved. Jezebell--who finds that yet again, she can't think of anything to say here. --I like you, I'll kill you last. ---------------- | I want to meet | | interesting | | and exotic | | people and | | kill them. | | | | -Matthew Modine| | Full Metal | | Jacket | ----------------
Ross Garmil (limrag@bu.edu) wrote: : : Jezebell--who was gonna say something really nifty here but suddenly forgot : : what that was. : It was about a new schnitzel recipe, hope that hydrates. : Ross--whos is brought to you by the number pi and the letter pi. "What's that formula for a circle again?" "Pi R squared." "No. Cornbread are squared. Pi are rounded." Oops. Sorry guys. -- Steve keyboard failure press any key to continue
Once upon a midnight dreary sdc@teleport.com () did wrate: >You know, they're growing mechanical trees. >They grow to their full height >And then they chop themselves >Down. Hmm. Is this where mechanical pencils come from? -lil
In article <4liovk$mgk@news.lth.se> dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) writes: >In some bacon article limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) stated: >> >>It means that the car just appeared, it's a natural car, like the kinda you >>find in the Amazon. >Hey! I used to have a Volvo Amazon. [...] *sigh* What do we have in uncommon? Was it B18 or B20? *MM
Anti JN (dat92jni@ludat.lth.se) wrote: : In some bacon article limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) stated: : >Magnus Mulqvist (elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi) wrote: : >: In article <4l5snh$5be@news.bu.edu> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: : > : >It means that the car just appeared, it's a natural car, like the kinda you : >find in the Amazon. : Hey! I used to have a Volvo Amazon. But I sold it to buy cheese... You know, in Prague you could've gotten a pair of jeans for them. : Stay off the cheese kids, it's no good! Yeah. : >Ross--who saw both the MST3K movie and a BareNaked Ladies concert yesterday; : >he's very happy about this. : Huh? Huh? Is that legal? Shhhh : /^JN - The Anti JN - Who's real legal nowadays. : -- Unlike Jezebell, who has to be in Amsterdam, apparently. Ross--who should've been able to fit in a third European city there somewhere.
In some bacon article elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) stated: >In article <4liovk$mgk@news.lth.se> dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) writes: >>In some bacon article limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) stated: >>> >>>It means that the car just appeared, it's a natural car, like the kinda you >>>find in the Amazon. > >>Hey! I used to have a Volvo Amazon. [...] > >*sigh* >What do we have in uncommon? >Was it B18 or B20? B20, 1970. California white, "bakelit däck". :-) Face it, we're twins. >*MM /^JN - The Anti JN - Almost. Nearly. Some. A bit. Perhaps not. Probably not. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
Wow, I'm mentioned in the subject of Snow Bug's post! Now I can die a happy man!!! (Thanks for the Women, and Beer too!) | That's life... -- "Wherever there is belching, we'll be there! Wherever there is stupidity, we'll be there! Wherever there is candy, we'll be there!", Wacko, Yakko and Dot Warner
_amp <AdamJ@iol.ie> wrote:
:Chester 'Flat' Karma wrote:
:>
:> On Mon, 22 Apr 1996 23:23:17 GMT, mikroa@ix.netcom.com (Michael Roach)
:> wrote:
[snip]
:Ok I admit it. I can't restrain it on my own. I now formally declare open
:warfare on the damn thing. I wash my hands of it.
:The Who-ever Destroys The V Shall Win Half My Kingdom Promotion
:~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
:1. Ye stupiditarrriaan that shall slay my V in the most stoopid way shall
: win 0.5 of My Kingdom (no cash alternative).
:2. Ye Employee's of My Kingdom, their agents and anybody over 6' 9" are not
: eligible.
:3. Ye Judge's decision is questionable.
:4. Ye statutory rights shall be affected in a most vile and terrible way.
:5. Har!
:6. Send no money now
:7. Oh what the hell, send money now
:-- amp: hmm..
:__ ______
:\ \/ /| _ \WARNING V's can seriously damage your health!!
: \ / | __/Wibbles!Wobbles!Wubley!at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
: \/ |_| v2.79 and counting. "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn
Sure! I'll give it a try!
_-
-_ /
\ /
\ /
____
\|/ | _ \WARNING V's can seriously damage your health!!
-POP- | __/Wibbles!Wobbles!Wubley!at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
/|\ |_| v2.79 and counting. "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn
\
\ /
/
Lookithat! Didn't even scratch the "P" next to it!
--Bill (how's _that_ for professionalism?)
--
Coming Real Soon Now is the first installment of "Idiots Abroad."
If Mark wasn't so busy doing 900 rpm, he'd be visiting
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
In a moment of sheer confusion, Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> broadcast to the world: >_amp <AdamJ@iol.ie> wrote: > >:Chester 'Flat' Karma wrote: >:> >:> On Mon, 22 Apr 1996 23:23:17 GMT, mikroa@ix.netcom.com (Michael Roach) >:> wrote: > >[snip] > >:Ok I admit it. I can't restrain it on my own. I now formally declare open >:warfare on the damn thing. I wash my hands of it. > >:The Who-ever Destroys The V Shall Win Half My Kingdom Promotion >:~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ >:__ ______ >:\ \/ /| _ \WARNING V's can seriously damage your health!! >: \ / | __/Wibbles!Wobbles!Wubley!at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj >: \/ |_| v2.79 and counting. "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn > > >Sure! I'll give it a try! > > _- >-_ / > \ / >\ / > ____ > \|/ | _ \WARNING V's can seriously damage your health!! >-POP- | __/Wibbles!Wobbles!Wubley!at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj > /|\ |_| v2.79 and counting. "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn >\ >\ / > / > >Lookithat! Didn't even scratch the "P" next to it! Wait a minute! How could the V be in +Amp's .sig and be crushing me at the same time? Oh no!, It's a conspiracy! LOOK OUT EVERYONE, BILL JUST PISSED THE ILLUMINATI OFF!! Chester - buying life insurance in bulk now, thankyou --- \ \/ /\\___ Chester 'Flat' Karma - crushed beneath a runaway forklift. \ /_[____] "OLE! so it isn't exactly a forklift" - tv's Spatch O_\/(o_____o) Read alt.i.get.hurt.by.runaway.ascii.art.regularly \ \ This has been read [INLINE] times. - http://www.cris.com/~fts
That damn phone booth is gonna hafta sit still for a while. Due to recent coding problems and various and sundry problems like "having a life", "sleeping too much", and "well, that was too much to drink", the release of PUTPBAD 2 will be delayed for at least a few more weeks. Actually, the real excuses^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hreasons are as follows: 1) I keep adding too much to the damn game. I'll be working on one nifty idea, and then *ZAM* another Really Cool Idea will pop into my head and I'll have to implement it, too, because PUTPBAD 3 is still a long ways off. So, in PUTPBAD 2, not only can you anticipate a cow and a chainsaw and a Bacon Sandwiches concert, you can also anticipate an imminent alien invasion, very dangerous sharp jagged pieces of scrap metal, and the wonder that is a Vendoland. 2) I had a major problem involving the switch() routine, and indentation with the TAB key when I shoulda been indenting with the space bar. Unfortunately, since I was doing this all in the confines of the life routine for animate objects, I was thinking the problem lay with the life routine and not with the indentations, so I was stuck on this for at least 6 nights fretting and fuming. Of course, only those who've seen how Inform works will understand that. And for that, I apologize and promise not to get too technical any more and take away from the Interactive Fiction magic. BUT, REST ASSURED, the terror that is PUTPBAD 2 is being hard at worked on, and on this, the Inform language's 3rd birthday, I'm coding like a fiend. Uhm, after my trip to Boston. - spatch, drop them suggestions my way, mr. consumer - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and bastard spawn of Norman Rockwell Pick Up The Phone Booth and Die: http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html Do you sing like Olive Oyl on purpose? You guys must be into the Eurythmics. - TMBG
In some bacon article elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) stated: >In article <317c0cfd.26622971@news.demon.co.uk> fish@pondlife.demon.co.uk (fish) writes: >>From: fish@pondlife.demon.co.uk (fish) >>Subject: Re: KILL ME! >>Date: Mon, 22 Apr 1996 22:53:05 GMT > >>Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> waffled: > >>>sdc@teleport.com wrote: >>> >>>:Norman Nithman (nrn@tezcat.com) wrote: >>> >>>:: The Kaiser is stealing my string. Lazy bullfrogs ate my >>>::quartz. >>> >>>Were they Big Bullfrogs? > >>next to the small fish >>> >>>:My room mate ate my Credentials that were up in the cuppboard. >>> >>>:: I AM NOT WEARING ANY PANTIES!!!!!! >>> >>>:I'm not wearing a bra. >>> >>>I'm not wearing high heels. > >>I'm not wearing any socks >>> >I'm not wearing out What now? DROP OUT. Out dropped. What now? DROP BOOTH. You do not have booth. What now? PICK UP BOOTH. You die. DOH! >*MM /^JN - The Anti JN - Who's considering to buy a PC just to play PUTBAD. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In some bacon article Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@compuserve.com> stated: >elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) wrote: >>In article <317CF1B2.4E49@iol.ie> _amp <adamj@iol.ie> writes: > >>>I AM!! >> >>>er...that is...er... >> >>...one hour after midnight. >> >>Glad to oblige. >> >>*MM >> >You know, I just now got that. You know, I just got that when you made me reconsider the facts. >--Bill (gettin old) /^JN - The Anti JN - Just wearing old. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In article <31847a0a.52250811@news.iti2.net>, <kandaje@iti2.net> wrote: >On Fri, 26 Apr 1996 01:10:13 GMT, mikroa@ix.netcom.com (Michael Roach) >wrote: >> >>The GPF is caused because your toaster is configured to launch the >>coffee maker on startup. Turn off this option when 16 bit toasters on >>NT. You shouldn't have to upgrade or get a new driver, although the >>coffee maker won't automatically launch. Try manually launching the >>coffee maker first, then start the toaster. >> >>HTH! >>-- > > That's not it! You CAN get the Coffee maker launched by the >toaster, but you have to change the Configuration file first... > > In NT4.0001AM Beta (the Apple Marmelade version anyway) you change >the >breadisbuttered=1 >to >breadisbuttered=0 > >then save the file.. Of course you DO have to use Bulgar Wheat, I've >never gotten it to work with the Wonder(@) bread retro fit. >You can even hook up the bean grinder in daisy-chain with the coffee >maker (wide SKSI bus only (Small Kitchen Systems Interface) and your >whole network can enjoy the benefits.... > >BTW: Don't try this with Bagels.. They aren't compatable and they >often stick in the toaster module and the burning will cause the >pentium to overheat... Not only are the bagels incompatible with the standard straight-out-of-the-box toaster module, the bagel slicing routines are all wrong, and have been known to cause slight-to-moderate damage to your hardware; the least damage being lost Clusters(TM General Mills) and Generic Kitchen Faults everywhere you look, to at least one account of the BIOS being taken out with one swipe. While LenderSoft has yet to admit to a problem in the slicing routines, they do claim to be working on a fix, and will either release a patch soon or just include it in the next version of LenderSoft Grain. If you really do need to satisfy your bagel cravings, however, I've found a homemade patch available at http://www.test-kitchen.com/support/LSGrain/patches/bagelfix.zip It works well for most bagels but seems to have problems with the cinnamon raisin. If you do have enough memory you might remember to toast the bagel whole and uncut, but I don't recommend that. Although you MUST remember to ONLY use a toaster with the toaster-oven attachment!! As mentioned above, bagels sometimes can elude the pop() routine and burn like mutant hellbeasts on Satan's holiday. Hope this helps, bagel lovers, Spatch -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and bastard spawn of Norman Rockwell Pick Up The Phone Booth and Die: http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html Do you sing like Olive Oyl on purpose? You guys must be into the Eurythmics. - TMBG
PETER JAY SALZMAN (sliver@sfsu.edu) wrote: : Hi net : Does anybody know the exact quote that Oppenheimer is supposed to have : used when he witnessed the atomic bomb test blast? Recent research has shown that what he actually said was, "Great! Let's fry some gooks!"
And thus did matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg (Brett McInnes) spake, speaking:
>PETER JAY SALZMAN (sliver@sfsu.edu) wrote:
>: Hi net
>: Does anybody know the exact quote that Oppenheimer is supposed to have
>: used when he witnessed the atomic bomb test blast?
>Recent research has shown that what he actually said was,
>"Great! Let's fry some gooks!"
Actually, the version I heard had him saying "We'll be more famous than Jesus
for this!"
--
tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and bastard spawn of Norman Rockwell.
"In April I will go away to far-off Spain or old Bombay, and dream about
hot soup all day." - Maurice Sendak
Pick Up The Phone Booth and Die! http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html
In a moment of sheer confusion, mikroa@ix.netcom.com (Michael Roach) broadcast to the world: >As Garibaldi was about to go postal with a postal clerk, >matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg (Brett McInnes) said from the back of the line: > >|PETER JAY SALZMAN (sliver@sfsu.edu) wrote: >|: Hi net >| >|: Does anybody know the exact quote that Oppenheimer is supposed to have >|: used when he witnessed the atomic bomb test blast? >| >|Recent research has shown that what he actually said was, >|"Great! Let's fry some gooks!" > >No, that was Teller throwing his voice. What a nut that guy was! I believe an unidentified man asked Oppenheimer if he had any marshmellows, Oppenheimer responded "Yes, Mr. Gorsky" Chester - who has thereby reduced the problem to an earlier thread --- \ \/ /\\___ Chester 'Flat' Karma - crushed beneath a runaway forklift. \ /_[____] "OLE! so it isn't exactly a forklift" - tv's Spatch O_\/(o_____o) Read alt.i.get.hurt.by.runaway.ascii.art.regularly \ \ This has been read [INLINE] times. - http://www.cris.com/~fts
It was the dawn of the third age of Mankind, the year the great war came upon us all, when _amp <AdamJ@iol.ie> wrote: |I been online a year!! Have you gotten a phone bill yet, or is the billing computer at the telco waiting for you to disconnect? -- "Wherever there is belching, we'll be there! Wherever there is stupidity, we'll be there! Wherever there is candy, we'll be there!", Wacko, Yakko and Dot Warner
On Mon, 22 Apr 1996 23:23:17 GMT, mikroa@ix.netcom.com (Michael Roach) wrote: >While driving in California, almost everything I saw was stupid. It'd have helped if ya'd have watched the road instead of read alt.stupidity on the laptop (while driving). >Look Out! It's COMING THIS WAY! (Snaps to attention!) WHAT?!?! > /\ > / \ > / /\ \ > O \\___ > / _[____] > /\ (o_____o)),. > >Run, Chester, RUN!!! GYAHHHHH!!! It's a forklift! no wait.. a tank! no... AAGUGH! > / / > / /__ > /_____ > O_ \\___ > \/\\ _[____] > /\ (o_____o)),. > > >Faster! FASTER! NOOOOO!!! I'm feeling the burn! I'm not forgetting to breathe! > >\ \/ /\\___ > \ /_[____] >O_\/(o_____o) Hmm..Chester? you ok?.. > \ \ Damnit.. and I just bought new clothes too. Reading this froup is really getting dangerous to my health. --- \ \/ /\\___ Chester 'Flat' Karma - crushed beneath a runaway forklift. \ /_[____] "OLE! so it isn't exactly a forklift" - tv's Spatch O_\/(o_____o) Read alt.i.get.hurt.by.runaway.ascii.art.regularly \ \ This has been read [INLINE] times. - http://www.cris.com/~fts
Chester 'Flat' Karma wrote: > > On Mon, 22 Apr 1996 23:23:17 GMT, mikroa@ix.netcom.com (Michael Roach) > wrote: > > >While driving in California, almost everything I saw was stupid. > > It'd have helped if ya'd have watched the road instead of read > alt.stupidity on the laptop (while driving). > > >Look Out! It's COMING THIS WAY! > > (Snaps to attention!) WHAT?!?! Oh god not again! I thought I'd sedated it.. > > > /\ > > / \ > > / /\ \ > > O \\___ > > / _[____] > > /\ (o_____o)),. > > > >Run, Chester, RUN!!! > > GYAHHHHH!!! It's a forklift! no wait.. a tank! no... AAGUGH! Back forklift thingy, back!.. > > > / / > > / /__ > > /_____ > > O_ \\___ > > \/\\ _[____] > > /\ (o_____o)),. > > > > > >Faster! FASTER! NOOOOO!!! > I'm feeling the burn! I'm not forgetting to breathe!You're gonna make it > > > > >\ \/ /\\___ > > \ /_[____] > >O_\/(o_____o) Hmm..Chester? you ok?.. > > \ \ > > Damnit.. and I just bought new clothes too. Reading this froup is really > getting dangerous to my health. Ok I admit it. I can't restrain it on my own. I now formally declare open warfare on the damn thing. I wash my hands of it. The Who-ever Destroys The V Shall Win Half My Kingdom Promotion ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 1. Ye stupiditarrriaan that shall slay my V in the most stoopid way shall win 0.5 of My Kingdom (no cash alternative). 2. Ye Employee's of My Kingdom, their agents and anybody over 6' 9" are not eligible. 3. Ye Judge's decision is questionable. 4. Ye statutory rights shall be affected in a most vile and terrible way. 5. Har! 6. Send no money now 7. Oh what the hell, send money now -- amp: hmm.. __ ______ \ \/ /| _ \WARNING V's can seriously damage your health!! \ / | __/Wibbles!Wobbles!Wubley!at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj \/ |_| v2.79 and counting. "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn
Anti JN wrote: > > In some bacon article _amp <AdamJ@iol.ie> stated: > [ Touching scenes from PUTBAD ] (No not that kind of touching you pervert!) > > > -----Your Dead------ > > As opposed to "My Dead"? This will be fixed in the next vesion > > >-- amp: WHO WANT PUTPBAD 2 NOW!!!! > > Hey, I don't even have access to PUTPBAD 1, I'm waiting for the > Solaris version! > > >__ ______ > >\ \/ /| _ \WARNING V's can seriously damage your health!! > > \ / | __/Wubley!Wubley!Wubley!at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj > ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ > > YM "Wibbles Wobble". HTH. TY > > > \/ |_| v2.78 and counting. "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn > > /^JN - The Anti JN - More spadding at http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj -- amp: who is to young to know what spadding means __ ______ \ \/ /| _ \WARNING V's can seriously damage your health!! \ / | __/Wibbles!Wobbles!Wubley!at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj \/ |_| v2.79 and counting. "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn
tv's Spatch (spatula@javanet.com) wrote:
: And thus did polyglot77@aol.com (Polyglot77) spake, speaking:
: >In article <317A7FA8.1B30@cdsnet.net>, AMerwin <leem@cdsnet.net> speaketh
: >thusly:
: Hey, Ross, can you sock this guy for taking my quote attributing?
Wow, Spatch spoke to me. Why, sure, Spatch!
SS OOO CCC KKK KKKK !!!!!!!!
SS SS OOO OO CCC CC KKK KKKK !!!!!!!!
SS OOO OO CCC CC KKK KKK !!!!!!!!
SS OOOO OO CCCC CC KKK KKK !!!!!!
SS OOOO OO CCCC KKKKKKK !!!!
SS OOOO OO CCCC KKKKKKKK !!
SS OOOO OO CCCC KKK KKKK
SS OOO OO CCC CC KKK KKKK !!
SS SS OOO OO CCC CC KKK KKKK !!!!
SS OOO CCC KKK KKKK !!
: >>Subject: Getting Married
: >>From: AMerwin <leem@cdsnet.net>
: >>Date: Sun, 21 Apr 1996 18:34:16 +0000
: >>
: >>Nuff said
: >>
: >>
: >>
: >>
: >No, it ain't Nuff said, dude. Unless your in one of those funny white
: >jackets that zip up the back.
: Maybe you can wait on the socking until we see what happens when we put
: AMerwin and polyglot in this glass jar and shake it up.
Oh...um....ooops.
Ross--who just got on the god's bad side.
In article <31818a70.6024829@news.cris.com>, Chester Karma <fts@cris.com> wrote: >On 26 Apr 1996 16:51:59 GMT, limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) wrote: > >>tv's Spatch (spatula@javanet.com) wrote: >>: And thus did polyglot77@aol.com (Polyglot77) spake, speaking: >>: >In article <317A7FA8.1B30@cdsnet.net>, AMerwin <leem@cdsnet.net> speaketh >>: >thusly: >>: Hey, Ross, can you sock this guy for taking my quote attributing? >>Wow, Spatch spoke to me. Why, sure, Spatch! >> >> SS OOO CCC KKK KKKK !!!!!!!! >>SS SS OOO OO CCC CC KKK KKKK !!!!!!!! >>SS OOO OO CCC CC KKK KKK !!!!!!!! >> SS OOOO OO CCCC CC KKK KKK !!!!!! >> SS OOOO OO CCCC KKKKKKK !!!! >> SS OOOO OO CCCC KKKKKKKK !! >> SS OOOO OO CCCC KKK KKKK >> SS OOO OO CCC CC KKK KKKK !! >>SS SS OOO OO CCC CC KKK KKKK !!!! >> SS OOO CCC KKK KKKK !! > >I wonder where you're gonna find a foot that'll fill THAT sock... (always >thinking about recycling those socks, ya know) Try the beginning of Monty Python's Flying Circus. -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and bastard spawn of Norman Rockwell Pick Up The Phone Booth and Die: http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html Do you sing like Olive Oyl on purpose? You guys must be into the Eurythmics. - TMBG
In some bacon article spatula@javanet.com stated: >And thus did Smedley the Elephant spake, speaking: [Lots a stuff snipoped casue I didn't unnerstann it] > >- spatch, worried now about talkie toaster, but that's a different newsfroup - Given that the universe is infinite and that God is infinite: Would you like some toast? /^JN - The Anti JN - Couldn't resist it. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In article <DqMn7x.FG6@midway.uchicago.edu>, john patrick lodder <lod2@quads.uchicago.edu> wrote: >In article <4lsjqi$pj7@kona.javanet.com>, >tv's Spatch <spatula@kona.javanet.com> wrote: >>In article <DqHEEI.Aoy@midway.uchicago.edu>, >>john patrick lodder <lod2@quads.uchicago.edu> wrote: >>>Sorry. It just had to be said. >> >>I understand. Every now and then I feel like singing a Toto lyric. But >>then again, every now and then I fall apart. > >We will be fine. Apollo nine. Even though NASA say we outta line THIS IS GROUND CONTROL TO MAJOR TOM, YOU'VE REALLY MADE THE GRADE AND THE PAPERS WANT TO KNOW WHOSE SHIRTS YOU WEAR - spatch, i really have no idea where that came from. - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and bastard spawn of Norman Rockwell Pick Up The Phone Booth and Die: http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html Do you sing like Olive Oyl on purpose? You guys must be into the Eurythmics. - TMBG
In some bacon article sdc@teleport.com () stated: >Don't forget to breath. Wash, rince, repeat. >Steve /^JN - The Anti JN - Picking up old subjects... -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In some bacon article tortess@panix.com (Tortess) stated: >tomorrow, I mean. Dunno, it's probably to late when you read this anyways. >Gesundheit. Thank you. /^JN - The Anti JN - Sneezing his way through spring. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In some bacon article _amp <AdamJ@iol.ie> stated: >Anti JN wrote: >> >> In some bacon article _amp <AdamJ@iol.ie> stated: >> [ Touching scenes from PUTBAD ] (No not that kind of touching you pervert!) >> >> > -----Your Dead------ >> >> As opposed to "My Dead"? > >This will be fixed in the next vesion Hey! You don't work for Micro$oft, do you?!? >> >-- amp: WHO WANT PUTPBAD 2 NOW!!!! >> >> Hey, I don't even have access to PUTPBAD 1, I'm waiting for the >> Solaris version! >> >> >__ ______ >> >\ \/ /| _ \WARNING V's can seriously damage your health!! >> > \ / | __/Wubley!Wubley!Wubley!at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj >> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ >> >> YM "Wibbles Wobble". HTH. > >TY > >> >> > \/ |_| v2.78 and counting. "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn >> >> /^JN - The Anti JN - More spadding at http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj > >-- amp: who is to young to know what spadding means Hmmm... Yeah. Sorry. Please move back. There's nothing to see here. >__ ______ >\ \/ /| _ \WARNING V's can seriously damage your health!! > \ / | __/Wibbles!Wobbles!Wubley!at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj > \/ |_| v2.79 and counting. "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn > /^JN - The Anti JN - (---Police Line---Do Not Cross---) -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In article <4lpido$hsd@saturn.haverford.edu> jepperso@haverford.edu (Joe Epperson) writes: >hell, what is it I have no idea, so I'll leave it be. Just in case. *MM >> >> 8888 8888888 >> >> 888888888888888888888888 >> >> 8888:::8888888888888888888888888 >> >> 8888::::::8888888888888888888888888888 >> >> 88::::::::888:::8888888888888888888888888 >> >> 88888888::::8:::::::::::88888888888888888888 >> >> 888 8::888888::::::::::::::::::88888888888 888 >> >> 88::::88888888::::m::::::::::88888888888 8 >> >> 888888888888888888:M:::::::::::8888888888888 >> >> 88888888888888888888::::::::::::M88888888888888 >> >> 8888888888888888888888:::::::::M8888888888888888 >> >> 8888888888888888888888:::::::M888888888888888888 >> >> 8888888888888888::88888::::::M88888888888888888888 >> >> 88888888888888888:::88888:::::M888888888888888 8888 >> >> 88888888888888888:::88888::::M::;o*M*o;888888888 88 >> >> 88888888888888888:::8888:::::M:::::::::::88888888 8 >> >> 88888888888888888::::88::::::M:;:::::::::::888888888 >> >> 8888888888888888888:::8::::::M::aAa::::::::M8888888888 8 >> >> 88 8888888888::88::::8::::M:::::::::::::888888888888888 8888 >> >> 88 88888888888:::8:::::::::M::::::::::;::88:88888888888888888 >> >> 8 8888888888888:::::::::::M::"@@@@@@@"::::8w8888888888888888 >> >> 88888888888:888::::::::::M:::::"@a@":::::M8i888888888888888 >> >> 8888888888::::88:::::::::M88:::::::::::::M88z88888888888888888 >> >> 8888888888:::::8:::::::::M88888:::::::::MM888!888888888888888888 >> >> 888888888:::::8:::::::::M8888888MAmmmAMVMM888*88888888 88888888 Oops.
tv's Spatch dietyed or something: > > And thus did Nona <rof@backporch.com> spake, speaking: > > >Where you can get those Darwin fish, Dead fish and Sharks. > > Well, for the first one and the third, have you tried looking in any large > body of water you can find, preferably saltwater? And for the second, the > obvious choice would be to look OUT of the water. And people wonder why Spatch is a god. > > Hope this helps. > > - spatch, next time phrase your response in the form of a question. - > Actually why is Spatch a god? -- amp: who hears Mighty Thunder approaching __ ______ \ \/ /| _ \WARNING V's can seriously damage your health!! \ / | __/Wibbles!Wobbles!Wubley!at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj \/ |_| v2.79 and counting. "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn
And thus did _amp <adamj@iol.ie> spake, speaking:
>tv's Spatch dietyed or something:
>>
>> And thus did Nona <rof@backporch.com> spake, speaking:
>>
>> >Where you can get those Darwin fish, Dead fish and Sharks.
>>
>> Well, for the first one and the third, have you tried looking in any large
>> body of water you can find, preferably saltwater? And for the second, the
>> obvious choice would be to look OUT of the water.
>And people wonder why Spatch is a god.
>Actually why is Spatch a god?
I was voted god, that's why. There was an election (eLection, eLection) and I
beat Papa Legba by a narrow margin. Then I made Bill a patron saint of
something or other, and Flapjack the official Guilt Toad, and Nafziger became
Satan just cause he wanted to, and I'm still handing out titles even today.
>-- amp: who hears Mighty Thunder approaching
Yeah, but not for you. For Bruce Meow.
- spatch, ask not for whom the mighty stoopid thunderbolt zots, it zots for
bruce meow, not thee -
--
tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and bastard spawn of Norman Rockwell.
"In April I will go away to far-off Spain or old Bombay, and dream about
hot soup all day." - Maurice Sendak
Pick Up The Phone Booth and Die! http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html
spatula@javanet.com (tv's Spatch) wrote: >And thus did _amp <adamj@iol.ie> spake, speaking: > >>tv's Spatch dietyed or something: >>> >>> And thus did Nona <rof@backporch.com> spake, speaking: >>> >>> >Where you can get those Darwin fish, Dead fish and Sharks. >>> >>> Well, for the first one and the third, have you tried looking in any large >>> body of water you can find, preferably saltwater? And for the second, the >>> obvious choice would be to look OUT of the water. > >>And people wonder why Spatch is a god. > >>Actually why is Spatch a god? > >I was voted god, that's why. There was an election (eLection, eLection) and I >beat Papa Legba by a narrow margin. Then I made Bill a patron saint of >something or other, and Flapjack the official Guilt Toad, and Nafziger became >Satan just cause he wanted to, and I'm still handing out titles even today. > Don't forget Anti-JN. (Even Spatch Nods) >>-- amp: who hears Mighty Thunder approaching > >Yeah, but not for you. For Bruce Meow. > >- spatch, ask not for whom the mighty stoopid thunderbolt zots, it zots >for bruce meow, not thee - --Bill (once a saint, now a damned clone) -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
In article <4m2uc6$gjf@elmhcx9.elmhurst.edu>, Carrie A. Wieczorkiewicz <carr1722@elmhurst.edu> wrote: >John "El Pato Loco" McKeon (jmckeon@interserf.net) wrote: > >: Don't you remember that time he turned water into Kool-Aid? It was my favorite >: flavor - red! > >Really? my favorite flavor is Blue. > >Carrie "I never knew that colors are flavorable till now" Wieczorkiewicz > & >her wonderfully hip, strawberry loving, salmonela coming, water dunking, >Sewer smellin Tibster of a sidekick, Tibby. > >"The only lovable Tibby is a Tibby that has not yet figured out how to >win the Kool-Aid game for Intellivision" It's easy. If you get Kool-Aid Man to turn the other way, Smurfette does a striptease to get yer attention. - spatch, royally confusing games - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and bastard spawn of Norman Rockwell Pick Up The Phone Booth and Die: http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html Do you sing like Olive Oyl on purpose? You guys must be into the Eurythmics. - TMBG
In a moment of sheer confusion, carr1722@elmhurst.edu (Carrie A. Wieczorkiewicz) broadcast to the world: >John "El Pato Loco" McKeon (jmckeon@interserf.net) wrote: >: _amp <adamj@iol.ie> wrote: > >: >tv's Spatch dietyed or something: >: >> >: >> And thus did Nona <rof@backporch.com> spake, speaking: >: >> >: >> >Where you can get those Darwin fish, Dead fish and Sharks. >: >> >: >> Well, for the first one and the third, have you tried looking in any large >: >> body of water you can find, preferably saltwater? And for the second, the >: >> obvious choice would be to look OUT of the water. > >: >And people wonder why Spatch is a god. > >: >> >: >> Hope this helps. >: >> >: >> - spatch, next time phrase your response in the form of a question. - >: >> > >: >Actually why is Spatch a god? > >: Don't you remember that time he turned water into Kool-Aid? It was my favorite >: flavor - red! > >Really? my favorite flavor is Blue. I find teal and attractive flavour*, but it's hard to find nowadays. >"The only lovable Tibby is a Tibby that has not yet figured out how to >win the Kool-Aid game for Intellivision" I remember that game. The one where Kool-Aid Man burst through the wall right? Damn man.. my drywall is STILL cracked from the first time I played that! --- \ \/ /\\___ Chester 'Flat' Karma - crushed beneath a runaway forklift. \ /_[____] "OLE! so it isn't exactly a forklift" - tv's Spatch O_\/(o_____o) Read alt.i.get.hurt.by.runaway.ascii.art.regularly \ \ This has been read [INLINE] times. - http://www.cris.com/~fts
In article <3180E56F.36E2@iol.ie> _amp <adamj@iol.ie> writes: >Actually why is Spatch a god? >-- amp: who hears Mighty Thunder approaching He was voted for one in the dawning of time, that is, a year and a day ago, just before you became fully on line. *MM -- who hears a Nokia Valuegraph 447V and knows that all resistance will be futile.
In article <elvi.vtkk.v1wki.2394.007CAEEF@memo.vtkk.fi>, Magnus Mulqvist <elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi> wrote: >In article <3180E56F.36E2@iol.ie> _amp <adamj@iol.ie> writes: > >>Actually why is Spatch a god? > >>-- amp: who hears Mighty Thunder approaching > >He was voted for one in the dawning of time, that is, >a year and a day ago, just before you became fully >on line. Why, Magnus! Now when someone asks "...but who's counting?" I'll know the answer is YOU! - spatch, who always wanted to be on "But Who's Counting" on Square One TV, or its counterpart 'But Who's Multiplying' - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and bastard spawn of Norman Rockwell Pick Up The Phone Booth and Die: http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html Do you sing like Olive Oyl on purpose? You guys must be into the Eurythmics. - TMBG
elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) wrote: >*MM -- Peittäkäämme heidät! Låt oss övertäcka dem! Wir sollen >sie sauerkrauten! Reah!! > It looks someting like german. But I don't know that many words. Freely translated, I think it's about a little girl in the Swiss Alps overtaking the sheep. Then they swell up from eating too much sauerkraut. I'm not sure how that last word translates into English. --Bill (excuse me a minute) -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
<In article <4ls266$k8m@dub-news-svc-3.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@compuserve.com> writes: <elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) wrote: <>*MM -- Peittäkäämme heidät! Låt oss övertäcka dem! Wir sollen <>sie sauerkrauten! Reah!! <It looks someting like german. No it doesn't! It looks like Swedish. Or maybe Swedish from SW se, SWedish. <But I don't know that many words. Me Too! <Freely translated, I think it's about a little girl in the Swiss <Alps overtaking the sheep. Then they swell up from eating too much <sauerkraut. Well, ya get what ya pay for. How 'bout if it was expensively translated?
Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@compuserve.com) wrote: : elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) wrote: : >*MM -- Peittäkäämme heidät! Låt oss övertäcka dem! Wir sollen : >sie sauerkrauten! Reah!! : > : It looks someting like german. But I don't know that many : words. : Freely translated, I think it's about a little girl in the Swiss : Alps overtaking the sheep. Then they swell up from eating too much : sauerkraut. : I'm not sure how that last word translates into English. It's the sound of the sheep, having binged on the sauerkraut, now purging. I think this is a warning to little German girls who dream of becoming supermodels that not all is glitter and glamour in the high-stakes, pressure-packed world of high fashion. "Don't be a bloated sheep -- be a healthy pastor and lead the way. Hallelujah." Reah. -- Gesundheit.
On Tue, 23 Apr 1996 00:08:42 +0100, _amp <AdamJ@iol.ie> wrote:
>3 genuine mouse support calls this week:
Mouse support calls? Mice have their own support groups?
>====================
>Me: Hello *usual blurb*
Problem #1: Instead of saying "usual blurb", surrounded by asterisks, you
might want to say something the mice can understand. Like "squeak!"
>User: My mouse isn't working
(It's a union mouse with a contract dispute)
>Me: Ok..in what way isn't it working?
Uhh.. it doesn't do what it's supposed to.. sheesh.
>User: Well It's very eratic and it's hard to push the pedals
^^^^^^
I wished that that was actually "erotic" mispelled.
>Me: ??? *clink* Ahh..try putting it on the desk and use your
> fingers.
How do you pronounce "??? *clink*" anyway? (BTW, with an erotic mouse, you
may want to be more specific on where to put those fingers next time)
>User: Ohh..
(Biblical chord of redemption)
>====================
>Me: Hello *usual blurb*
There you go with that "usual blurb" surrounded by asterisks again. Damn, I
know if I get you on the phone, I'll be able to recognize ya..
>User: My mouse doesn't seem to move at all
No! The instructions said "remove packing material", not "glue mouse to
desktop!"
>Me: Right.. have you tried cleaning the rollers
"They're in my hair right now. I'll clean them when I'm done."
>User: huh?
Who didn't see this response coming a mile (or kilometer) away?
>Me: (thinks - aha! dirty rollers) ok flip it over, open where
> it says "Open" and clean the rollers.
You lose a point here too for not mentioning how harmful it is to use water
and/or alcohol to clean the mouse.
>*cleaning of rollers ensues*
Is that like chaos? Ensurely it is.
>User: It's still not moving and my arms getting tired
Uhhhmm... you sure this isn't a 1-900 sex line?
>Me: *clink* It's not actually a remote control, you need
> to put it on the desk.
Here we go with the *clink* again.
>User: Ohh..
(Biblical chord of redemption)
>====================
>Me: Hello *usual blurb*
This is getting obscene, or else all the people who call are named "*usual
blurb*"
>User: I can't see much of the screen especially when I
> move the mouse.
You don't need to stare at the mouse while you move it. Try looking at the
screen. Pay no attention to the quantum physics that claims that the mouse
may cease to exist unless it is under direct supervision by you.
>Me: hmmm..
You're singing now?
>*exhaustive checking of display driver and other settings
>happens via keyboard instructions with no success, everytime
>user uses the mouse the screen becomes hard to see*
It musta been pretty damn hard to check the display driver then.
>User: Maybe I should get a smaller mouse, then I might be able
> to see more of the screen.
I sense a *clink* coming...
>Me: Huh? *clink* Can I put you an hold for a second?
I am fulfilled.
>*I headbang the monitor several times*
No! When they said "double-click", they ment with the mouse, not your head!
>Me: Ok put the mouse on the desk and move it
Maybe you should replace "*usual blurb*" with "Is the mouse on the desk?"
>User: Ohh..
(Biblical chord of redemption)
>===================
>
>I now hold the upmost respect for people who
>have accounts on AOL. They know where the
>Caps lock is and by jimminy they're going
>to use it.
MAYBE NOT. MAYBE IT'S TURNED ON AUTOMATICALLY BY DEFAULT.
>-- amp: who needs a new monitor
That headbanging stunt you pulled earlier injured your monitor and it no
longer conforms to FCC interference standards.
>__ ______
>\ \/ /| _ \WARNING V's can seriously damage your health!!
> \ / | __/Wubley!Wubley!Wubley!at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
> \/ |_| v2.78 and counting. "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn
(If only that disclaimer was there before...)
---
"Looking toward his .sig, _Amp brought his activities to a stop. He had
already heard a peculiar 'crunch', and now the figure resembling Chester
Karma beneath the newly formed 'V' intrigued him..."
Chester 'Flat' Karma ... fts@cris.com ... http://www.cris.com/~fts
Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) won the bet: But Tortess won the bettle. Bill twoed the bettle. Tortess threed the bettle. Bill thirty-foured (fnord?) the bettle. The bettle collapsed in a heap outside the municipal credit union, broke and starving. A wandering minstrel collected the bettle and brought it home. He put the bettle to bed, where it has remained since 1972 listening to Abba 8-tracks and drinking Bartles & James. Let's all sing one for the bettle. "Knowing me, knowing you! Uh-hunhhhhh, there is nothing we can do! Knowing me, knowing you! Uh-hunhhh" -- Gesundheit.
In article <4lsvaj$6lg@panix3.panix.com>, Tortess <tortess@panix.com> wrote: >Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) won the bet: > >But Tortess won the bettle. > >Bill twoed the bettle. >Tortess threed the bettle. >Bill thirty-foured (fnord?) the bettle. > >The bettle collapsed in a heap outside the municipal credit union, broke >and starving. A wandering minstrel collected the bettle and brought it home. > >He put the bettle to bed, where it has remained since 1972 listening to >Abba 8-tracks and drinking Bartles & James. > >Let's all sing one for the bettle. > >"Knowing me, knowing you! Uh-hunhhhhh, >there is nothing we can do! >Knowing me, knowing you! Uh-hunhhh" I'll give the bettle some mouth figurines if that'll help. - spatch, and it usually does - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and bastard spawn of Norman Rockwell Pick Up The Phone Booth and Die: http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html Do you sing like Olive Oyl on purpose? You guys must be into the Eurythmics. - TMBG
In article <4lsvaj$6lg@panix3.panix.com> tortess@panix.com (Tortess) writes: >Let's all sing one for the bettle. >"Knowing me, knowing you! Uh-hunhhhhh, >there is nothing we can do! >Knowing me, knowing you! Uh-hunhhh" >-- >Gesundheit. Cool! Sing a new song, Hiquichita! *MM
In some bacon article tortess@panix.com (Tortess) stated: >: fnord@luser.halo.net said something important: >: : I saw'em last week in Vancouver...man...talk about some fucked shit. > >Okay. Has anyone ever fucked shit? I've never tried that myself, but >apparently its all the rage in Vancouver. At least it was last week. > >Would anyone else like to talk about some fucked shit? Hmmm... I think this is the end of this subthread. Bye. >Gesundheit. Thank you. /^JN - The Anti JN - Still sneezing. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In some bacon article elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) stated: >In article <4lsfda$33l@tofu.alt.net> seaner@exo.com (Darth Vader) writes: >>In article <elvi.vtkk.v1wki.2380.004CCF94@memo.vtkk.fi>, >>elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi says... >>>In article <4lgh2f$acd@freenet.vcu.edu> cabbage <pford@cabell.vcu.edu> >writes:>>>Subject: New Super Deluxe Turbo XL 3000 Unit Absolutely FREE >>> >>>>If you can guess just what the hell it is.... >>> >>>A pencil! Exactly what I'm missing! > >>Not so fast, buddy boy...it ain't no pencil. It's an ultra-fast mouse. Very >>hard for us Windows types to see it moving across the screen because it's so >>fast. But I think I found your pencil, it's a yellow American Standard #2, >>right? > >Wrong, it's a New Super Deluxe Turbo XL 3000 Unit >Absolutely STRONG and FREE, and I found it in my >halibut bowl, sorry. Dammit, here I've been looking all over for your pencil and then you tell me you had it in your halibut bowl all the time! That's the first place you look! >*MM /^JN - The Anti JN - BTW, has anyone seen my Rotring .4 mechanical pencil? -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
It's my birthday, and I'll post if I want to, post if I want to, post if I want to, You would post to if it happened to you! /^JN - The Anti JN - Two and a half decades. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
On 27 Apr 1996 17:54:19 GMT, dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) wrote: >It's my birthday, and I'll post if I want to, *cha cha* >post if I want to, *cha cha* >post if I want to, >You would post to if it happened to you! *cha cha cha* >/^JN - The Anti JN - Two and a half decades. Wow... and I thought _Amp was around for a long time. You're gonna have a big phone bill when ya hang up. >-- >######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## ># The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # ># Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # >############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################ 25 years and still the same .sig... it's like the Switzerland of .sig files or something... here I'm getting crushed and _Amp is losing letters (and maybe his mind), and you've still got that "The Anti-JN smirks!" in there. --- \ \/ /\\___ Chester 'Flat' Karma - crushed beneath a runaway forklift. \ /_[____] "OLE! so it isn't exactly a forklift" - tv's Spatch O_\/(o_____o) Read alt.i.get.hurt.by.runaway.ascii.art.regularly \ \ This has been read [INLINE] times. - http://www.cris.com/~fts
Well, when I went to the store today, they wouldn't let me use
their terminals, but I managed to remember what I wanted to
buy. They had everything in stock but the brand of armpit death
I wanted.
Also, they got really upset when I tried to put those terminals I
wanted into my wire thingy on wheels.
--Bill (ob parenthetical remark)
--
"WWW is the largest vanity press in the world."
(Found scrawled on the Tomb of the Unregistered Voter.)
Names have been dropped and added at
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Shopping List
=============
* capers
* white castles
* beer
* whiskey
* hair cut
* note pad
* toilet bombs
* money
* cheese
* damn bird seed
* armpit death
* pencil lead
Okay, so it's a waste of bandwidth. I'm out of paper and pencil
lead, so I've posted it here. When I get to the store, I'll
ask if I can borrow one of their terminals, log into alt.stupidity,
run a printout of this, then do my shopping.
They have plenty of terminals. There's one at each one of those
tables that won't hold still that you take your wire thingy
on wheels to when you're tired of shopping. The keyboard's kind
of strange looking and it has a drawer that's always full of money.
The display is kind of crappy though.
Come to think of it, I could put up with the display and keyboard.
I'll add it to my list.
* store terminal w/money drawer
I just remembered, they have another terminal that has a better
display and gives money to people when they do something to it
with a piece of plastic and type on the keyboard. The keyboard's
kinda lame, just a hex keypad, or something. I haven't figured
out how they get money out of it, but maybe if I get one of those, I
could wire it to the other terminal and have a good display
and keyboard.
* store terminal w/display
That should be enough to keep me busy this weekend.
--Bill
--
"WWW is the largest vanity press in the world."
(Found scrawled on the Tomb of the Unregistered Voter.)
Names have been dropped and added at
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Once again, they're on my balcony and partaking of my seed.
--Bill
--
"WWW is the largest vanity press in the world."
(Found scrawled on the Tomb of the Unregistered Voter.)
Names have been dropped and added at
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: : Once again, they're on my balcony and partaking of my seed. That's disGUSTing. : --Bill No, I mean it. I've had enough of all of you sickos. -- Gesundheit.
stubbs@ wrote:
>In <4likr2$jvi@news.lth.se>, dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) writes:
>>In some bacon article sdc@teleport.com () stated:
>>>
>>> __(GrrAWAGH! GrAWAH! GHRRrrr!!!)
>>> uUu , ,/
>>> (btd) ("\''/").__..--''"'_.
>>> \O/ --(HEELLLLP!) `9_ 9 ) `_. ( ).`-.__.`)
>>> />:<\ ( Y .)' ._ ) ` `.`'_..-'
>>> / (_) \ _..`--''_..-_/ /--'_.' .'
>>> _| |_ (il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
>>
>>
>>*THWOCK*
>>
>>
>>> __(Urk!!!)
>>> uUu , ,/
>>> (btd) ("\''/")
>>> \o/ --(Oh! Thank you!) `+_ + )
>>> />:<\ ( Y .)'
>>> / (_) \ `--'
>>> _| |_
>>
>>Shut up, luser!
>>
>>*THWOCK*
>>
>>>
>>> uUu , ,
>>> (+t+) ("\''/")
>>> \O/ --(UCK!) `+_ + )
>>> ( Y .)'
>>> `--'
>>
>>
>>
>>>Steve
>>>keyboard failure press any key to continue
>
> Um... I don't get it.
>
>-Dave
Well, think of it as a bunch of Berserks who felt that
alt.fan.warlord was too restricting.
--Bill
--
You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be
surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors."
--The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity
Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
In some bacon article _amp <adamj@iol.ie> stated: >Tortess addressed the crowd: >;> >;> tv's Spatch (spatula@kona.javanet.com) wrote: >;> : In article <31818bbe.6359292@news.cris.com>, >;> : Chester Karma <fts@cris.com> wrote: >;> : >On 22 Apr 1996 06:05:36 GMT, sdc@teleport.com () wrote: >;> : > >;> : >>Ross Garmil (limrag@bu.edu) sang: >;> : >>: cabbage (pford@cabell.vcu.edu) wrote: >;> : >>: : spatula@javanet.com (tv's Spatch) wrote: >;> : >>: : >And thus did Mark Lovejoy <lovejoy@azstarnet.com> spake, speaking: >;> : >>: : > >;> : >>: : >>Revelation 22:15 Outside are the dogs and the sorcerers and the immoral >;> : >>: : >>persons and the murderers and the idolaters, and everyone who loves and >;> : >>: : >>practices lying. >;> : >>: : >Revelation 22:16 And bacon. >;> : >>: : Revelation 22:15 Long live the corn! >;> : >>: Revolution 22:14 We'd all love to change the world. >;> Devolution 22:13: Are we not men? >Devaluation 22:12am 20 Million for a loaf of bread??!! Deallocation 22.4GB: Read my lips: No More Memory Leak. /^JN - The Anti JN - No, I'm not named like any foliage. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
Chester 'Flat' Karma wrote: > > On 27 Apr 1996 17:54:19 GMT, dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) wrote: > > >It's my birthday, and I'll post if I want to, > > *cha cha* > > >post if I want to, > > *cha cha* > > >post if I want to, > >You would post to if it happened to you! > > *cha cha cha* > > >/^JN - The Anti JN - Two and a half decades. > > Wow... and I thought _Amp was around for a long time. You're gonna have a > big phone bill when ya hang up. ahh.. there it is again: this "phone bill" thing. What is it please? > > >-- > >######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## > ># The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # > ># Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # > >############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################ > > 25 years and still the same .sig... it's like the Switzerland of .sig files > or something... here I'm getting crushed and _Amp is losing letters (and > maybe his mind), and you've still got that "The Anti-JN smirks!" in there. 25 years ago they built real .sigs with rugged edges and quality sayings. 'Course nowadays with your foreign imports..blah..blah.. > > --- > \ \/ /\\___ Chester 'Flat' Karma - crushed beneath a runaway forklift. > \ /_[____] "OLE! so it isn't exactly a forklift" - tv's Spatch > O_\/(o_____o) Read alt.i.get.hurt.by.runaway.ascii.art.regularly > \ \ This has been read [INLINE] times. - http://www.cris.com/~fts Can 2 V's exist in the same post at the same time? Isn't that like crossing the streams? --amp: and also please explain: "mind"? __ ______ \ \/ /| _ \WARNING V's can seriously damage your health!! \ / | __/Wibbles!Wobbles!Wubley!at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj \/ |_| v2.79 and counting. "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn
In some bacon article fts@cris.com stated: >On 27 Apr 1996 17:54:19 GMT, dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) wrote: > >>It's my birthday, and I'll post if I want to, > >*cha cha* > >>post if I want to, > >*cha cha* > >>post if I want to, >>You would post to if it happened to you! I killed him, >*cha cha cha* >>/^JN - The Anti JN - Two and a half decades. > >Wow... and I thought _Amp was around for a long time. You're gonna have a >big phone bill when ya hang up. Yup, when I hang up in 6-7 decades I'll probably have such a phone bill that they're gonna kill me... >>######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## >># The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # >># Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # >>############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################ > >25 years and still the same .sig... it's like the Switzerland of .sig files >or something... here I'm getting crushed and _Amp is losing letters (and >maybe his mind), and you've still got that "The Anti-JN smirks!" in there. Well, ok, I can change it, but I'll still have "I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it" in it. There is something to be said about traditions and the stupidian way, but I forget. /^JN - The Anti JN - Changing with the times. Almost. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # Add bacon prior to use. Bail me out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In some bacon article spatula@kona.javanet.com (tv's Spatch) stated: >Now that javanet has trn up and running I won't be using Forte Free Agent >any more to do the news thing. > >Which means no more wacky "And thus did yourmom spake, speaking:" >attribution messages. Huh? Try putting &-EATTRIBUTION="And thus did %f spake, speaking:" in your killfile for the group. And perhaps this to go back when you leave the group: X&-EATTRIBUTION="In %C %f chirped:" >So if all of you who do use Forte still could make your own even wackier >attribution messages, it'd be greatly appreciated. Sorry, I don't use Forte, I use trn. >Thank you for your thyme. /^JN - The Anti JN - Rosemary, sage and ... bacon. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # Add bacon prior to use. Bail me out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In article <4ltn0b$cfr@news.lth.se> dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) writes:
>It's my birthday, and I'll post if I want to,
>post if I want to, post if I want to,
>You would post to if it happened to you!
>/^JN - The Anti JN - Two and a half decades.
>--
Grattis!
Take it the happy way: one quarter of a century...
*MM
:P--------------------------------------------------------------------------*
"Basic operation:
================
When SBPVOL turn the volume up what it's done is to calculate an
average between the left and right volumes of the master, after this it
increses the average in one unit and it's set as the master left and right
volume. The same thing happens when SBPVOL turns the volume down, but
decreasing the average."
:P--------------------------------------------------------------------------~
In article <4m05pk$pjq@dfw-ixnews6.ix.netcom.com> jnafz@ix.netcom.com (Jason Nafziger) writes:
>Looky, looky, cabbage <pford@cabell.vcu.edu> sez:
>>lil <ldale@nmsu.edu> wrote:
>>>ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) wrote:
>>>><In article <4l99a5$t3k@bubba.NMSU.Edu> lil <ldale@nmsu.edu> writes:
>>>>< ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) wrote:
>>>>< ><In article <4l35k7$h1a@news.bu.edu> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes:
>>>>< >
>>>>< ><Ross--who specializes in 80's music, more specifically early 80's.
>>>>< >
>>>>< > That would explain why he runs, he runs so far away...
>>>>
>>>>< Not because you like black and white, run run away?
>>>>
>>>> No, because one thing, one thing leads to another...
>>>
>>>Much like the black panties with an angel's face...
>> Yeah but, You can dance if you want to.....umm --dada da dada--
>> ...but if ya can't dance then you're......no friend of mine.
>Then I guess I'll just keep dancin' with myself, oh-oh...
Dig it! The Dancing Queen!
*MM
:P--------------------------------------------------------------------------*
"Basic operation:
================
When SBPVOL turn the volume up what it's done is to calculate an
average between the left and right volumes of the master, after this it
increses the average in one unit and it's set as the master left and right
volume. The same thing happens when SBPVOL turns the volume down, but
decreasing the average."
:P--------------------------------------------------------------------------~
reah I can't get this damn word outta my head reah -- amp: reah __ ______ \ \/ /| _ \WARNING V's can seriously damage your health!! \ / | __/Wibbles!Wobbles!Wubley!at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj \/ |_| v2.79 and counting. "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn
<In article <4m3khr$bi1@bubba.NMSU.Edu> lil@newly remodeled.nmsu.edu writes: <mikroa@ix.netcom.com (Michael Roach) wrote: <>As Garibaldi was about to go postal with a postal clerk, cabbage <><pford@cabell.vcu.edu> said from the back of the line: <> <>|lil <ldale@nmsu.edu> wrote: <>|>ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) wrote: <>|>><In article <4l99a5$t3k@bubba.NMSU.Edu> lil <ldale@nmsu.edu> writes: <>|>>< ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) wrote: <>|>>< ><In article <4l35k7$h1a@news.bu.edu> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: <>|>>< > <>|>>< ><Ross--who specializes in 80's music, more specifically early 80's. <>|>>< > <>|>>< > That would explain why he runs, he runs so far away... <>|>> <>|>>< Not because you like black and white, run run away? <>|>> <>|>> No, because one thing, one thing leads to another... <>|> <>|>Much like the black panties with an angel's face... <>| <>| Yeah but, You can dance if you want to.....umm --dada da dada-- <>| ...but if ya can't dance then you're......no friend of mine. <> <>That's what I like about you, you really know how to dance < <....daaaaaance the niiiiight awaaaaay..... You can dance, you can dance, everybody Safety Dance.. <-lil, who wonders if anyone else has the Van Halen lp on vinyl Huh? Man lp lp Command Purpose Sends requests to a line printer. Syntax lp [ -c ] [ -dQueue ] [ -m ] [ -nNumber ] [ -oOption ] [ -tTitle ] [ -w ] [ Files ] Oh, ok. somemachine[490]% lp on vinyl enq: (FATAL ERROR): Argument on is not an accessible file. enq: errno = 2: No such file or directory Um, gee, I don't think so, no. Looks like Van Halen had a FATAL ERROR or something, it's sad.
In article <4lsvaj$6lg@panix3.panix.com> tortess@panix.com (Tortess) writes: >Let's all sing one for the bettle. >"Knowing me, knowing you! Uh-hunhhhhh, >there is nothing we can do! >Knowing me, knowing you! Uh-hunhhh" >-- >Gesundheit. Cool! Sing a new song, Hiquichita! *MM
Chester 'Flat' Karma wrote:
>
> On 27 Apr 1996 16:24:15 -0400, spatula@kona.javanet.com (tv's Spatch)
> wrote:
>
> >In article <31825520.1888650@news.cris.com>,
> >Chester 'Flat' Karma <fts@cris.com> wrote:
> >>On 27 Apr 1996 03:48:47 -0400, spatula@kona.javanet.com (tv's Spatch)
> >>wrote:
> >>
> >>>That's cause he's too busy finding another V to stomp on you, you realize.
> >>
> >>There's a line now. So many pointy objects (And some not-so-pointy objects)
> >>are ready to crush me.
> >
> >What about the 16-ton weight? Has that gone and crushed you yet? Cor,
> >those weights sure are heavy!
>
> I tell ya something, when I get free again, I'm HIDING from objects that
> could feasibly crush me. I hear Vamp's A and M are plotting against me.
What!!!??? I thought the damn crane/forklift/whatever destroyed the M
and the "A" was just the V cleverly disguised..
Where are they!! *looks left and right cautiously*
Phew!
aaaaaaaaaarrrggghhhh!!!!
/
_ _ __ __
_ /\ _ | \ / | \0
_ / \ _ | \ \/ / | /\
_ /_/\_\ |_|\__/|_| /\
>
> >>>>---
> >>>> \ \/ /\\___ Chester 'Flat' Karma - crushed beneath a runaway forklift.
> >>>> \ /_[____] "OLE! so it isn't exactly a forklift" - tv's Spatch
> >>>> O_\/(o_____o) Read alt.i.get.hurt.by.runaway.ascii.art.regularly
> >>>> \ \ This has been read [INLINE] times. - http://www.cris.com/~fts
> >>>
> >>>Wow, I been quoted in a .sig. I feel so fufilled now.
> >>
> >>Your .sigs have had a profound influence on my life. I actually watch 2
> >>Stupid Dogs regularly now. :)
> >
> >Uh oh. Am I respomsible? I claim respomsibility 100% on that.
>
respamsible?? arrrrrggggghhhhhh....
\ __ __ __ _ _ _ ___
0_ | \ / | __ _ /\ -----
/\\ | \ \/ / | _ _ / \ __ _
/\ |_|\__/|_| _ _ - /_/\_\ -- -
> You'll hear from my lawyers tomorrow.
>
> Chester - who just realized the penalty for pissing off the readers of
> alt.ascii-art
>
-- amp: *deep breath* who needs to *deep breath* use that *deep breath*
tank for a minute *deep breath*
__ ______
\ \/ /| _ \WARNING V's can seriously damage your health!!
\ / | __/Wibbles!Wobbles!Wubley!at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
\/ |_| v2.79 and counting. "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn
HAR HAR!!!
\
___ __ _ ___ _ ___ __
____ _ _0_// ___ _ _ _/\ ___ _| \ / |
_ _ [____]_ / \ -- -- | \ \/ / |
'. (o_____o) ___ _ _ /_/\_\ ___ _|_|\__/|_|
Pi Alpha Nu (Mircalla in disguise): > > Hello altdotstupidians :-) > > I'm still out here...... I've been chewing on the bootlaces of a 3rd year > assignment STOP hmm.. err.. |>wait time passes > (worth a 5th of my shoe) STOP time passes.. > hope everyone is well STOP more time passes > am > doing great now STOP Hey, I haven't got all day! > coming home for dinner with the billy - bobs STOP screeeeeech *crash bang kerrr-runch* > > Mircalla Mordenheim.- who thinks alt.stupiditititity needs revitalising :-) > .----------------------------. > __ _____| HaIL ERiS! -><- |_____ __ > __________| |__| :| | |__| |__________ > \ :| |::| :| ksm3ba@herts.ac.uk | |::| | / > \ :| |::| :| delirium@nether.net | |::| | / > \ :| |::| :| "Everything you know could | |::| | / > > :| |::| :| be a lie." | |::| | < > / :| |::| :|____________________________| |::| | \ > / :|__|::|____:/ Alanis Morrisette \____|::|__| \ > /________:/ \::/ (FORGIVEN) \::/ \.________\ > we all have delusions in our head, > ,-. ,-. ,-. o we all had our minds made up for us, \ o / _ o \ / > | | |-' | | we had to believe in something, | /\ | > |-' `-' ' ' so we did. / \ | \ /o\ > ' CHESTER! GET DOWN OFF MIRCALLA'S .SIG RIGHT THIS INSTANT!!! -- amp: who's glad to see Mircalla again __ ______ \ \/ /| _ \WARNING V's can seriously damage your health!! \ / | __/Wibbles!Wobbles!Wubley!at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj \/ |_| v2.79 and counting. "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn
Pi Alpha Nu (Mircalla in disguise): > > Hello altdotstupidians :-) > > I'm still out here...... I've been chewing on the bootlaces of a 3rd year > assignment STOP hmm.. err.. |>wait time passes > (worth a 5th of my shoe) STOP time passes.. > hope everyone is well STOP more time passes > am > doing great now STOP Hey, I haven't got all day! > coming home for dinner with the billy - bobs STOP screeeeeech *crash bang kerrr-runch* > > Mircalla Mordenheim.- who thinks alt.stupiditititity needs revitalising :-) > .----------------------------. > __ _____| HaIL ERiS! -><- |_____ __ > __________| |__| :| | |__| |__________ > \ :| |::| :| ksm3ba@herts.ac.uk | |::| | / > \ :| |::| :| delirium@nether.net | |::| | / > \ :| |::| :| "Everything you know could | |::| | / > > :| |::| :| be a lie." | |::| | < > / :| |::| :|____________________________| |::| | \ > / :|__|::|____:/ Alanis Morrisette \____|::|__| \ > /________:/ \::/ (FORGIVEN) \::/ \.________\ > we all have delusions in our head, > ,-. ,-. ,-. o we all had our minds made up for us, \ o / _ o \ / > | | |-' | | we had to believe in something, | /\ | > |-' `-' ' ' so we did. / \ | \ /o\ > ' CHESTER! GET DOWN OFF MIRCALLA'S .SIG RIGHT THIS INSTANT!!! -- amp: who's glad to see Mircalla again __ ______ \ \/ /| _ \WARNING V's can seriously damage your health!! \ / | __/Wibbles!Wobbles!Wubley!at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj \/ |_| v2.79 and counting. "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn
In a moment of sheer confusion, _amp <AdamJ@iol.ie> broadcast to the world:
>Pi Alpha Nu (Mircalla in disguise):
>> Mircalla Mordenheim.- who thinks alt.stupiditititity needs revitalising :-)
>> .----------------------------.
>> __ _____| HaIL ERiS! -><- |_____ __
>> __________| |__| :| | |__| |__________
>> \ :| |::| :| ksm3ba@herts.ac.uk | |::| | /
>> \ :| |::| :| delirium@nether.net | |::| | /
>> \ :| |::| :| "Everything you know could | |::| | /
>> > :| |::| :| be a lie." | |::| | <
>> / :| |::| :|____________________________| |::| | \
>> / :|__|::|____:/ Alanis Morrisette \____|::|__| \
>> /________:/ \::/ (FORGIVEN) \::/ \.________\
>> we all have delusions in our head,
>> ,-. ,-. ,-. o we all had our minds made up for us, \ o / _ o \ /
>> | | |-' | | we had to believe in something, | /\ |
>> |-' `-' ' ' so we did. / \ | \ /o\
>> '
>
>CHESTER! GET DOWN OFF MIRCALLA'S .SIG RIGHT THIS INSTANT!!!
Aaayyggh! They must be clones made by the ASCII alphabet cabal! (Look for
the REAL Chester, trapped under fine forklifts everywhere)... I'll take
care of them...
.----------------------------.
__ _____| HaIL ERiS! -><- |_____ __
__________| |__| :| | |__| |__________
\ :| |::| :| ksm3ba@herts.ac.uk | |::| | /
\ :| |::| :| delirium@nether.net | |::| | /
\ :| |::| :| "Everything you know could | |::| | /
> :| |::| :| be a lie." | |::| | <
/ :| |::| :|____________________________| |::| | \
/ :|__|::|____:/ Alanis Morrisette \____|::|__| \
/________:/ \::/ (FORGIVEN) \::/ \.________\
we all have delusions in our head,
,-. ,-. ,-. o we all had our minds made up for us, \ o / _ o \\_
| | |-' | | we had to believe in something, | /\ _[_
|-' `-' ' ' so we did. / \ | \ O_(o_
'
.----------------------------.
__ _____| HaIL ERiS! -><- |_____ __
__________| |__| :| | |__| |__________
\ :| |::| :| ksm3ba@herts.ac.uk | |::| | /
\ :| |::| :| delirium@nether.net | |::| | /
\ :| |::| :| "Everything you know could | |::| | /
> :| |::| :| be a lie." | |::| | <
/ :| |::| :|____________________________| |::| | \
/ :|__|::|____:/ Alanis Morrisette \____|::|__| \
/________:/ \::/ (FORGIVEN) \::/ \.________\
we all have delusions in our head,
,-. ,-. ,-. o we all had our minds made up for us, \ o / \\___
| | |-' | | we had to believe in something, | _[___]
|-' `-' ' ' so we did. / \ O_(o____o)
'
.----------------------------.
__ _____| HaIL ERiS! -><- |_____ __
__________| |__| :| | |__| |__________
\ :| |::| :| ksm3ba@herts.ac.uk | |::| | /
\ :| |::| :| delirium@nether.net | |::| | /
\ :| |::| :| "Everything you know could | |::| | /
> :| |::| :| be a lie." | |::| | <
/ :| |::| :|____________________________| |::| | \
/ :|__|::|____:/ Alanis Morrisette \____|::|__| \
/________:/ \::/ (FORGIVEN) \::/ \.________\
we all have delusions in our head,
,-. ,-. ,-. o we all had our minds made up for us, \\___
| | |-' | | we had to believe in something, _[___]
|-' `-' ' ' so we did. O_(o____o) ___ ___
'
And they all laughed when I got that Radio Controlled ASCII Tank...
Chester - Who is glad to see Mircalla, but not glad to see forgeries of me.
---
\ \/ /\\___ Chester 'Flat' Karma - crushed beneath a runaway forklift.
\ /_[____] "OLE! so it isn't exactly a forklift" - tv's Spatch
O_\/(o_____o) Read alt.i.get.hurt.by.runaway.ascii.art.regularly
\ \ This has been read [INLINE] times. - http://www.cris.com/~fts
Even if it's not connected to power, your laptop can be damaged in a thunderstorm. When you start seeing the flashes of lightning, turn your laptop off! Michael--I should have shut it off before the raindrops hit the keyboard -- Michael P. Roach mikroa@ix.netcom.com 76671.3324@compuserve.com Check out my complete waste of time! http://www.netcom.com/~mikroa/
Michael Roach (mikroa@ix.netcom.com) wrote: : Even if it's not connected to power, your laptop can be damaged in a : thunderstorm. When you start seeing the flashes of lightning, turn your : laptop off! : Michael--I should have shut it off before the raindrops hit the keyboard Hard lesson, Mike. I, too, have learned the hard way: trust me -- never, ever, EVER try to use your laptop while you getting a root canal. As you can probably imagine, it does neither your computer nor your molars much good. Hope this helps. -- Gesundheit.
In article <4m02el$7r1@news.mountain.net> snbug@ix.tri.net (Snow Bug) writes:
> That's life...
What's a "life"?
*MM
:P--------------------------------------------------------------------------*
"Basic operation:
================
When SBPVOL turn the volume up what it's done is to calculate an
average between the left and right volumes of the master, after this it
increses the average in one unit and it's set as the master left and right
volume. The same thing happens when SBPVOL turns the volume down, but
decreasing the average."
:P--------------------------------------------------------------------------~
In article <4m169k$6ss@panix3.panix.com> tortess@panix.com (Tortess) writes:
>Subject: should I get a haircut?
>tomorrow, I mean.
If you're fast, you may get Bill's new haircut cheap. I hear
he doesn't like it.
*MM
:P--------------------------------------------------------------------------*
"Basic operation:
================
When SBPVOL turn the volume up what it's done is to calculate an
average between the left and right volumes of the master, after this it
increses the average in one unit and it's set as the master left and right
volume. The same thing happens when SBPVOL turns the volume down, but
decreasing the average."
:P--------------------------------------------------------------------------~
In article <elvi.vtkk.v1wki.2409.004CEC1D@memo.vtkk.fi>, elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) writes: > In article <4m169k$6ss@panix3.panix.com> tortess@panix.com (Tortess) writes: > >Subject: should I get a haircut? > >tomorrow, I mean. > If you're fast, you may get Bill's new haircut cheap. I hear > he doesn't like it. But what if he changes his mind? What if he changes both his minds? And, quintessenstial, just who _is_ Phyllis Diller?? -- Per Harald Myrvang | Ausculta mihi! Tibi dico! perm@stud.cs.uit.no | http://www.cs.uit.no/~perm/
perm@stud.cs.uit.no (Per Harald Myrvang) wrote: >In article <elvi.vtkk.v1wki.2409.004CEC1D@memo.vtkk.fi>, >elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) writes: >> In article <4m169k$6ss@panix3.panix.com> tortess@panix.com (Tortess) writes: >> >Subject: should I get a haircut? >> >tomorrow, I mean. >> If you're fast, you may get Bill's new haircut cheap. I hear >> he doesn't like it. > >But what if he changes his mind? What if he changes both his minds? >And, quintessenstial, just who _is_ Phyllis Diller?? waitaminute! i insinuate the fact that i have a mind! Phyllis Diller's legs didn't go allllll the way up! --Bill (hth) > >-- >Per Harald Myrvang | Ausculta mihi! Tibi dico! >perm@stud.cs.uit.no | http://www.cs.uit.no/~perm/ Huh? oh. In that case... -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Buy a new one. cabbage: Thinks that's the best way to fix lawnmowers. http://metro.turnpike.net/C/cabbage/index.html
In article <4m6dl7$ain@dub-news-svc-5.compuserve.com>, 70325.1137@compuserve.com says... > >cabbage <pford@cabell.vcu.edu> wrote: >>Buy a new one. >> >> >> >> >> >>cabbage: Thinks that's the best way to fix lawnmowers. > >Wrap it up in bandages and check it in a few weeks to see if >it has healed. > >--Bill (hth) > Turn it on, then when the round pointy thingy starts spinning, kick it with your foot then it will work fine. Please note that you should wear socks when doing this, because you don't want to hurt your foot. Darth Vader
Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@compuserve.com> writes: >cabbage <pford@cabell.vcu.edu> wrote: >>Buy a new one. > >Wrap it up in bandages and check it in a few weeks to see if >it has healed. Administer massive doses of chemotherapy and Miracle-Gro(TM) lawn food.
In article <4m9gmj$37d@tofu.alt.net>, seaner@exo.com (Darth Vader) writes: > Turn it on, then when the round pointy thingy starts spinning, kick it with > your foot then it will work fine. Please note that you should wear socks when > doing this, because you don't want to hurt your foot. Hey Darth, you arrogant bastard, why didn't you give me a lift when you passed through the system back in 3034BC? I _know_ you saw me! I've been stuck here ever since, dealing with all kinds of horrors! Have you seen their Soaps? We could have used them back when the Rebels had an attitude! Huh, the old days, eh? -- Per Harald Myrvang | Ausculta mihi! Tibi dico! perm@stud.cs.uit.no | http://www.cs.uit.no/~perm/
In article <4m5pd1$sib@kona.javanet.com>, tv's Spatch <spatula@kona.javanet.com> wrote: >In article <DqoGxM.DK8@midway.uchicago.edu>, >john patrick lodder <lod2@quads.uchicago.edu> wrote: >>In article <4lsc0b$80@hunter.premier.net>, <fnord@luser.halo.net> wrote: >>> I think like they're like...you know...cool and shit like that.. >> >>Perl, James, Addiction. > >kona% perl james addiction >Can't open perl script "james": No such file or directory Huh?!? quads> perl james addiction She only comes when she walks right through the door. quads> -- "Oh, to be in England now that April's there" --RB My opinions are not those of my employer.
Ross Garmil wrote: > > tv's Spatch (spatula@kona.javanet.com) wrote: > : In article <4m8412$819@news.bu.edu>, Ross Garmil <limrag@bu.edu> wrote: > : >Tortess (tortess@panix.com) wrote: > : >: Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@compuserve.com) wrote: > : >: : ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) wrote: > : >: : ><In article <4m4tid$1iv@panix3.panix.com> tortess@panix.com (Tortess) writes: > : >: : >< Spacetoast (toast@mindspring.com) wrote: > : >: : >< : I just sneezed and blew a hole through my kleenex. > : >: : > > : >: : >< : Does anyone have any comments about this? > : >: : > > : >: : >< Is this guy kidding? > : >: : > > : >: : > Hmmm, no, looks more like spacetoast, at least to me. > : > > : >: : What's a kleenex? > : > > : >: I dunno, what's a henway? > : > > : >I dunno, what's a snu? > > : What? > > No, he's on second. > So who's on first base? > Ross--who's not asking you who's on second. -- amp: hey! I just dropped 2232 matches! __ ______ \ \/ /| _ \WARNING V's can seriously damage your health!! \ / | __/Wibbles!Wobbles!Wubley!at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj \/ |_| v2.79 and counting. "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn
In article <4m6fk0$b95@dub-news-svc-5.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@compuserve.com> writes: >ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) wrote: >><In article <4m4tid$1iv@panix3.panix.com> tortess@panix.com (Tortess) writes: >>< Spacetoast (toast@mindspring.com) wrote: >>< : I just sneezed and blew a hole through my kleenex. >> >>< : Does anyone have any comments about this? >> >>< Is this guy kidding? >> >> Hmmm, no, looks more like spacetoast, at least to me. >What's a kleenex? It's not a plaindrome. *MM
Brett McInnes (matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg) wrote: : john patrick lodder (lod2@quads.uchicago.edu) wrote: : : New Classic Underground Hit Tune Lyrics (tm): : : Mickey and Minnie are dead. : : We're dead, we're dead, we're dead. : ZEIGT: : --Minnie Maus Totenhaus : --Mickey, das Mausbaby aus dem Eis : --Donald, das grosste EiderDuck Europas : --Arbeit Macht Frei und Speck... -Princess WeißeGemse
Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@compuserve.com) wrote: : matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg (Brett McInnes) wrote: : >john patrick lodder (lod2@quads.uchicago.edu) wrote: : >: In article <4m5brm$nno@rzsun02.rrz.uni-hamburg.de>, : >: Gwyneth Kozbial <fs5a182@rzaix07.uni-hamburg.de> wrote: : >: >Brett McInnes (matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg) wrote: : >: >: john patrick lodder (lod2@quads.uchicago.edu) wrote: : >: >: : New Classic Underground Hit Tune Lyrics (tm): : >: > : >: >: : Mickey and Minnie are dead. : >: >: : We're dead, we're dead, we're dead. : >: > : >: >: ZEIGT: : >: >: --Minnie Maus Totenhaus : >: >: --Mickey, das Mausbaby aus dem Eis : >: >: --Donald, das grosste EiderDuck Europas : >: >: --Arbeit Macht Frei : >: > : >: >und Speck... : > : >: hat die Spaetele umgedreht? : > : >Besichtigen Sie REINE YETI? : DON'T DRINK THE WATER!!!!!!! 'CAUSE IT WOULD BE TOO DARNED FUNNY!!!!!! ROSS--WHO CAN'T JUST CAN'T GET OVER IT, AND CAN'T STOP SCREAMING!!!!!
In article <4m6cs9$ie6@panix3.panix.com> tortess@panix.com (Tortess) writes: >1/2 soft cheese >a very old sock Why both? *MM
What is that? Izzit something like a newsfroup? Why do afw occaaaassssssssionalllly refer to themselfs as a froup? Did (l)Laura post there once? Can someone hand me some bacon? Someting's wrong with my brane. --Bill -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
As Garibaldi was about to go postal with a postal clerk, limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) said from the back of the line: |Magnus Mulqvist (elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi) wrote: |: In article <4lj9e2$6vm@news.bu.edu> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: |: >Flapjack (nosmith@vassar.edu) wrote: |: >: flapjack-who's on a hunt, he's after you | |: >Ahhh, now yer talkin' my language. | |: >Ross--who's anxiously awaiting the sequel to last year's "Seven": Morgan |: >Freeman is "The Ragged Tiger" | |: I've got the feeling that you'll have to settle for the MST3K Movie and Bare- |: Naked Ladies for the time being. Have you seen them yet? |: *MM | |That was a whole week ago. I'm going into both MST3K and BareNaked Ladies |withdrawal at the same time. And I've been told it can be dangerous to mix |withdrawals. | |Ross--who should make a deposit, or at least say something humurous. The long bone of the arm is humerus - HTH! Michael, wondering if that's why the funny bone is called the funny bone -- "Wherever there is belching, we'll be there! Wherever there is stupidity, we'll be there! Wherever there is candy, we'll be there!", Wacko, Yakko and Dot Warner
In article <31860820.1121074@nntp.ix.netcom.com> mikroa@ix.netcom.com (Michael Roach) writes:
>As Garibaldi was about to go postal with a postal clerk, limrag@bu.edu
>(Ross Garmil) said from the back of the line:
>|Magnus Mulqvist (elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi) wrote:
>|: In article <4lj9e2$6vm@news.bu.edu> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes:
>|: >Flapjack (nosmith@vassar.edu) wrote:
>|: >: flapjack-who's on a hunt, he's after you
>|
>|: >Ahhh, now yer talkin' my language.
>|
>|: >Ross--who's anxiously awaiting the sequel to last year's "Seven": Morgan
>|: >Freeman is "The Ragged Tiger"
>|
>|: I've got the feeling that you'll have to settle for the MST3K Movie and Bare-
>|: Naked Ladies for the time being. Have you seen them yet?
>|: *MM
>|
>|That was a whole week ago. I'm going into both MST3K and BareNaked Ladies
>|withdrawal at the same time. And I've been told it can be dangerous to mix
>|withdrawals.
>|
>|Ross--who should make a deposit, or at least say something humurous.
>The long bone of the arm is humerus - HTH!
^^^^^^^
Funny, I first read that "femur" and really really wanted to see you,
but then I read it again
*MM
mikroa@ix.netcom.com (Michael Roach) wrote: >As Garibaldi was about to go postal with a postal clerk, cabbage ><pford@cabell.vcu.edu> said from the back of the line: > >|snbug@ix.tri.net (Snow Bug) wrote: >|>lil <ldale@nmsu.edu> wrote: >|> >|> >|>>I sawr it! I sawr it! The spatula homepage. And I was therefore humbled having been >|>>amongst a great stupidian. >|> >|>>-lil >|> >|> >|> >|> I haven't seen it. Is it worth my time to take a look? >|> >|> >|> Snow Bug >|> >| >| >| What's all this stuff about a homepage? > >What is stuff? "Genuine Kansas City Rocket Bourbon! Only a few swigs left. Hey! give that back! Why! Why! I oughtta take a can opener to you!" "*BURP!*" --Bill -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
In article <4m8jk7$7go@bubba.NMSU.Edu> lil <ldale@Newly Remolded.nmsu> writes: >ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) wrote: >><In article <4m2bgm$htb@freenet.vcu.edu> cabbage <pford@cabell.vcu.edu> writes: >><snbug@ix.tri.net (Snow Bug) wrote: >><>lil <ldale@nmsu.edu> wrote: >><>>I sawr it! I sawr it! The spatula homepage. And I was therefore humbled >having been >><>>amongst a great stupidian. >><> >><>>-lil >><> >><> >><> I haven't seen it. Is it worth my time to take a look? >> >><What's all this stuff about a homepage? >> >> What's a "homepage"? >It's the place where you go and they have to take you in. ><pensive pause> >Or is that the sanitarium? Argh! It was damn difficult to get through here! </pensive pause> Now that's better. *MM
In article <3186A7F4.5DC@iol.ie> _amp <AdamJ@iol.ie> writes: >reah >I can't get this damn word outta my head >reah >-- amp: reah What's the word? Ah well, everybody surf about the bird! *MM
In a moment of sheer confusion, spatula@kona.javanet.com (tv's Spatch) broadcast to the world: >In article <elvi.vtkk.v1wki.2425.00B5EC52@memo.vtkk.fi>, >Magnus Mulqvist <elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi> wrote: >>In article <3186A7F4.5DC@iol.ie> _amp <AdamJ@iol.ie> writes: >> >>>reah >>>I can't get this damn word outta my head >>>reah >> >>>-- amp: reah >> >>What's the word? >> >>Ah well, everybody surf about the bird! > >That's gotta be one large bird, then. > >- spatch, but not big bird - Ah well, everybody surf about the Frog! (Can you see where this is headed?) --- \ \/ /\\___ Chester 'Flat' Karma - crushed beneath a runaway forklift. \ /_[____] "OLE! so it isn't exactly a forklift" - tv's Spatch O_\/(o_____o) Read alt.i.get.hurt.by.runaway.ascii.art.regularly \ \ This has been read [INLINE] times. - http://www.cris.com/~fts
In article <3186A7F4.5DC@iol.ie> _amp <AdamJ@iol.ie> writes: > reah > > I can't get this damn word outta my head > > reah What's really sad is your probably pronouncing it wrong. flapjack-who just realized that Abe is probably back now; maybe he should call him at a strange hour and taunt his jetlag -- My name's Flapjack, and I'll be your Guilt Toad for this evening "But there was far more snorting than vomiting going on in the restrooms of 30 Rock."--Doug Hill and Jeff Weingrad, "Saturday Night" Like it or not, it's still here: HTTP://students.vassar.edu/~nosmith/nosmith.html
>Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@compuserve.com> wrote: >(tortess@panix.com (Tortess) wrote: >>_amp (AdamJ@iol.ie) wrote: >>: reah >>: I can't get this damn word outta my head >>: reah >>(You think that's bad, try mouth figurines. >reah, reah, reah, yer sock, jently down the phleeegm, >verily! verliy! verily! i've cloned a figurime! Look OUT! AHHHHHH! Invasion of the Mouth Figurines! AHHHHHH! How to Serve Mouth Figurines....is a COOKBOOK! AHHHHHH! FIGURINES: This time they kick ass and are cloned! AHHHHHH! Bill! What....have....you...........done! *gorp gorp gurgle gurgle* cabbage: I wonder if Sigourney Weaver would be interested in a role for this movie..... http://metro.turnpike.net/C/cabbage/index.html
dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) wrote: >In some bacon article elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) stated: >>In article <4liovk$mgk@news.lth.se> dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) writes: >>>In some bacon article limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) stated: >>>> >>>>It means that the car just appeared, it's a natural car, like the kinda you >>>>find in the Amazon. >> >>>Hey! I used to have a Volvo Amazon. [...] >> >>*sigh* >>What do we have in uncommon? >>Was it B18 or B20? >B20, 1970. California white, "bakelit däck". :-) > >Face it, we're twins. > Are you two cloning around without a license? >>*MM > >/^JN - The Anti JN - Almost. Nearly. Some. A bit. Perhaps not. Probably not. Well, watch yourselves. --Bill (who's considering a short trip back to the shadows) -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
In article <4m968l$p80@kona.javanet.com>, spatula@kona.javanet.com (tv's Spatch) writes: > In article <3187A2F2.6B0A@iol.ie>, _amp <adamj@iol.ie> wrote: > >WHAT DOES THIS MEAN!!!!!! > > / > > ¬ > > That's Fred MacMurray's upside down pipe. No, it's not. It's the missing piece. > I seen it before. Really? Why didn't you tell me then? I've been looking for it since I lost it near Atlantis, back in , oh what was it, 9000BC I think. -- Per Harald Myrvang | Ausculta mihi! Tibi dico! perm@stud.cs.uit.no | http://www.cs.uit.no/~perm/
In article <4mh7u1$bqm@news.uit.no>, Per Harald Myrvang <perm@stud.cs.uit.no> wrote: >In article <4m968l$p80@kona.javanet.com>, spatula@kona.javanet.com (tv's Spatch) >writes: >> In article <3187A2F2.6B0A@iol.ie>, _amp <adamj@iol.ie> wrote: >> >WHAT DOES THIS MEAN!!!!!! >> > / >> > ¬ >> >> That's Fred MacMurray's upside down pipe. > >No, it's not. It's the missing piece. Of course, it's the missing piece to Fred MacMurray's upside down pipe! > >> I seen it before. > >Really? Why didn't you tell me then? I've been looking for it since I lost it >near Atlantis, back in , oh what was it, 9000BC I think. No, it was in '78 and we were at the Hepcat Lounge. - spatch, welcome back, myrvang - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and bastard spawn of Norman Rockwell Pick Up The Phone Booth and Die: http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html Do you sing like Olive Oyl on purpose? You guys must be into the Eurythmics. - TMBG
In article <3187A2F2.6B0A@iol.ie>, _amp <adamj@iol.ie> writes: > WHAT DOES THIS MEAN!!!!!! > / > ¬ Oh, you found it! Great! I've thought I've lost it forever! Thanks! Here, have a reward: ³ And again, thanks! Now I can finish the repairs on my spaceship, and go home! It's been so long! -- Per Harald Myrvang | Ausculta mihi! Tibi dico! perm@stud.cs.uit.no | http://www.cs.uit.no/~perm/
perm@stud.cs.uit.no (Per Harald Myrvang) wrote: >In article <3187A2F2.6B0A@iol.ie>, _amp <adamj@iol.ie> writes: >> WHAT DOES THIS MEAN!!!!!! >> / >> ¬ > >Oh, you found it! Great! I've thought I've lost it forever! Thanks! > >Here, have a reward: ³ > >And again, thanks! Now I can finish the repairs on my spaceship, and >go home! It's been so long! > >-- >Per Harald Myrvang | Ausculta mihi! Tibi dico! >perm@stud.cs.uit.no | http://www.cs.uit.no/~perm/ What happened to your .sig? --Bill (a newbie) -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
..chile I ate. --Bill -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
mikroa@ix.netcom.com (Michael Roach) wrote: >As Garibaldi was about to go postal with a postal clerk, >tortess@panix.com (Tortess) said from the back of the line: > >|Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: >|: ..chile I ate. >| >| >|: --Bill >| >|I knew this .sig would come in handy someday! >| >| >|-- >|Gesundheit. So you saved a few bytes. > >That wasn't a sneeze! But that's my line! >-- >Michael P. Roach >mikroa@ix.netcom.com >76671.3324@compuserve.com HUH?????????^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Luckily, Spatch became a much gentler god before he forged his Mighty Stupid Thunderbolt. (You shudda seen what he did to the aolers in the old daze.) >Check out my complete waste of time! >http://www.netcom.com/~mikroa/ ok --Bill -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
>dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) instructed: >>In some bacon article sdc@teleport.com () stated: >>Don't forget to breath. >Wash, rince, repeat. Damn, there goes my weekend. >>Steve >/^JN - The Anti JN - Picking up old subjects... cabbage: damn.
In article <31855ED9.1982@iol.ie> _amp <AdamJ@iol.ie> writes: >> >> Wow... and I thought _Amp was around for a long time. You're gonna have a >> big phone bill when ya hang up. >ahh.. there it is again: this "phone bill" thing. What is it please? "Phony Bill" refers to those of Wilkinson's clones that have mutated beyond his control. They sometimes pop up here and there and do wicked things and then Bill has to clean up their mess snarling apologies. All in all, they're not nice things at all. *MM
In a moment of sheer confusion, _amp <AdamJ@iol.ie> broadcast to the world:
>Chester 'Flat' Karma wrote:
>>
>> On 27 Apr 1996 17:54:19 GMT, dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) wrote:
>>
>> >/^JN - The Anti JN - Two and a half decades.
>>
>> Wow... and I thought _Amp was around for a long time. You're gonna have a
>> big phone bill when ya hang up.
>
>ahh.. there it is again: this "phone bill" thing. What is it please?
We're assuming, of course, that the phone company can't bill you for line
usage until your current call is completed... anyone got any estimates on
how big your usage charge would be for two and a half decades?
>> >--
>> >######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ########
>> ># The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc #
>> ># Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se #
>> >############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
>>
>> 25 years and still the same .sig... it's like the Switzerland of .sig files
>> or something... here I'm getting crushed and _Amp is losing letters (and
>> maybe his mind), and you've still got that "The Anti-JN smirks!" in there.
>
>25 years ago they built real .sigs with rugged edges and quality sayings.
>'Course nowadays with your foreign imports..blah..blah..
What's with all these .sigs with pictures of Australia in them? And why the
hell is Perth always marked?
>> ---
>> \ \/ /\\___ Chester 'Flat' Karma - crushed beneath a runaway forklift.
>> \ /_[____] "OLE! so it isn't exactly a forklift" - tv's Spatch
>> O_\/(o_____o) Read alt.i.get.hurt.by.runaway.ascii.art.regularly
>> \ \ This has been read [INLINE] times. - http://www.cris.com/~fts
>
>Can 2 V's exist in the same post at the same time? Isn't that like crossing the
>streams?
Don't cross the streams Ray!
>--amp: and also please explain: "mind"?
Nevermind.
Chester - Who ya gonna call?
---
\ \/ /\\___ Chester 'Flat' Karma - crushed beneath a runaway forklift.
\ /_[____] "OLE! so it isn't exactly a forklift" - tv's Spatch
O_\/(o_____o) Read alt.i.get.hurt.by.runaway.ascii.art.regularly
\ \ This has been read [INLINE] times.-http://www.cris.com/~fts
// // // "Lets go teach them a lesson.."
____// ____// ____// /\ /
[_____]_ [_____]_ [_____]_ / \
(o______o) (o______o) (o______o) /_/\_\
In a moment of sheer confusion, _amp <AdamJ@iol.ie> broadcast to the world: >Chester 'Flat' Karma wrote: > >uhh..phone company..uhh..completed..umm..estimates..urr..usage >NOPE! Try telling that to Ma Bell. >> >--amp: and also please explain: "mind"? >> >> Nevermind. > >you're doing this on purpose damn YOU! > >STOP CONFUSING ME! Vests don't have sleeves. >> Chester - Who ya gonna call? > >here we go again > >> >> --- >> \ \/ /\\___ Chester 'Flat' Karma - crushed beneath a runaway forklift. >> \ /_[____] "OLE! so it isn't exactly a forklift" - tv's Spatch >> O_\/(o_____o) Read alt.i.get.hurt.by.runaway.ascii.art.regularly >> \ \ This has been read [INLINE] times.-http://www.cris.com/~fts >> >> // // // "Lets go teach them a lesson.." >> ____// ____// ____// /\ / >> [_____]_ [_____]_ [_____]_ / \ >> (o______o) (o______o) (o______o) /_/\_\ > >-- amp: oh shit.... No, "Oh Shit!" is another thread... but I do share your concern... the ASCII alphabet seems to have enlisted the help of some ASCII tanks. --- \ \/ /\\___ Chester 'Flat' Karma - crushed beneath a runaway forklift. \ /_[____] "OLE! so it isn't exactly a forklift" - tv's Spatch O_\/(o_____o) Read alt.i.get.hurt.by.runaway.ascii.art.regularly \ \ This has been read [INLINE] times. - http://www.cris.com/~fts
In article <4m8ff7$pg5@news.lth.se>, Anti JN <dat92jni@ludat.lth.se> wrote: >In some bacon article fts@cris.com stated: > >I killed him, >>*cha cha cha* "Whad'ya mean, ya killed him, cha cha cha?" - spatch, wondering where his confidence and paranoia are - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and bastard spawn of Norman Rockwell Pick Up The Phone Booth and Die: http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html Do you sing like Olive Oyl on purpose? You guys must be into the Eurythmics. - TMBG
dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) wrote: >In some bacon article fts@cris.com stated: >>On 27 Apr 1996 17:54:19 GMT, dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) wrote: [snip] >I killed him, I didn't know he was fluffy. >>*cha cha cha* > >>>/^JN - The Anti JN - Two and a half decades. >> >>Wow... and I thought _Amp was around for a long time. You're gonna have a >>big phone bill when ya hang up. fone bill? Fone Bill?? FONE BILL???????? > >Yup, when I hang up in 6-7 decades I'll probably have such a >phone bill that they're gonna kill me... > Perhaps the alt.patron.saint.of.something can interv...enter..can something....ratz >>>######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## >>># The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # >>># Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # >>>############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################ >> >>25 years and still the same .sig... it's like the Switzerland of .sig files >>or something... here I'm getting crushed and _Amp is losing letters (and >>maybe his mind), and you've still got that "The Anti-JN smirks!" in there. > >Well, ok, I can change it, but I'll still have >"I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it" in it. > >There is something to be said about traditions and the stupidian way, >but I forget. > >/^JN - The Anti JN - Changing with the times. Almost. >-- >######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## ># Add bacon prior to use. Bail me out! Lord Jester of Antioc # ># Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # >############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################ Huh? --Bill -- You know, a wise clone once said: "a clone who thinks itself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
In article <4mdtmn$ob7@ns.interserf.net>,
John "El Pato Loco" McKeon <jmckeon@interserf.net> wrote:
>sdc@teleport.com () wrote:
>
>> ` \\\|/// ,
>>` | ^ ^ |
>> { O O }
>> | l |
>> ( \_/ )
>> \_._/
>> ___ | ___
>> \"/
>> o
>
>That looks nothing like Magnus. Maybe you could draw him giving a chop to a robot's
>head.
NO! DON'T KILL FLOYD!!!!
- spatch, totally upset -
--
tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and bastard spawn of Norman Rockwell
Pick Up The Phone Booth and Die: http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html
Do you sing like Olive Oyl on purpose?
You guys must be into the Eurythmics. - TMBG
tv's Spatch wrote:
>
> In article <4m5j6r$os3@news.bu.edu>, Ross Garmil <limrag@bu.edu> wrote:
> >Flapjack (nosmith@vassar.edu) wrote:
> >: In article <4ljbnc$6vm@news.bu.edu>
> >: limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes:
> >
> >: > sdc@teleport.com wrote:
> >: > : Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote:
> >: > : : W@O wrote:
> >: >
> >: > : : :Here it is
> >: >
> >: > : : What?
> >: >
> >: > : That.
> >: >
> >: > Not the most impressive one I've ever seen.
> >
> >: Ah, you wouldn't know one if it came up and bit you on my ass.
> >
> >What are we, the Corsican Brothers?
> >
> >: flapjack-whose ass has been very light in this group of late
> >
> >Thank you, Jenny Craig!
>
> I think it would be real cool to surprise Flapjack with a Jenny Craig
> visit, although Flapjack's never needed to go to Jenny Craig, as far as I
> can remember. Instead of hugging Jenny Craig as she pops in, however, I
> think it would be real cool for Flapjack to go for her kneecaps with an
> aluminum baseball bat, and as she goes down screaming, it would be even
> cooler for one of amp's spare ASCII characters to fall on her and crush her.
> ___ _ /\
ZOOOOOM!!! _ _ / \
---- /_/\_\
> Then, like, it'd be really cool if a meteor came on down near earth, and
> it hit another meteor, they blew up and went KAAAAAAAAAAAABLAAAAM!!!!!!!!
> And it'd be even MORE FUCKING COOLER if the meteors like fell on Jesse
> Helms or something and take out Camille Paglia with him, yeah, that would
> JUST BE SO COOL!
>
> So, when can we start?
Is this the bit where I type:
NooD gipHZ of FlaPJAkS ASSZ PlUUUEEezzE!!1
-- amp: or even NUUUD BMP's of JEENYY CRAYYG! ?
__ ______
\ \/ /| _ \WARNING V's can seriously damage your health!!
\ / | __/Wibbles!Wobbles!Wubley!at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
\/ |_| v2.79 and counting. "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn
Wow. I'm drunk. Again. Dammit, I'd better do something with my life... Oh wait, to late. Bye. /^JN - The Anti JN - En roulan, roulan rey, en roulan... -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # Add bacon prior to use. Bail me out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
Get up. cabbage: "Thank you? thank you? I don't even know you!" me to that loose-lipped cashier. http://metro.turnpike.net/C/cabbage/index.html
cabbage (pford@cabell.vcu.edu) wrote: : Get up. Too bad you were by yourself, eh? -- Gesundheit.
And who can blame her... -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
kibo@world.std.com (James "Kibo" Parry) wrote: >I BOUGHT A CD-ROM WITH NEARLY lOO DIRTY RATED XXX PICTURES ON IT BUT A >COUPLE OF THEM WERE ONLY X AND 1 WAS XXXX !!!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!11 WHAT I WANT >TO KNOW IS WHO EVER CAN I SUE TO GET MY VIRIGNITY BACK ????????/// PLEASE >REPLY BY POSTINF PUBLICLY BECAUSE I NEED TO NO AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO I >CAN GET IT IN TIME TO GET IT IF YOU NO WHAT I MEAN GUYS !!!!!!!!!!!1 HAR >HAR HAR > > KIBIFF AKA K1B0 THE INCREDIBLY WONDERFULLY NEATO >!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 C'mon mrl6a, cut that out. --Bill -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
spatula@kona.javanet.com (tv's Spatch) wrote: >In article <318BDAF7.6996@hkstar.com>, Gordon Roy <rowa@hkstar.com> wrote: >>Do you have to be something special, or can any old punter do it? > >You have to be a member of the Internet Tech Support guild and I'm afraid >they just won't let anybody in. Is that why CI$ won't return my calls? --Bill (throw bear at troll) -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
As Garibaldi was about to go postal with a postal clerk, TagoMago <c671337@showme.missouri.edu> said from the back of the line: |Smoking is bad for you. Probably smoking will contribute in some way to |your death. Smoking is legal. Some poeple want it to be illegal. I |recommend we startewsgroup like, maybe, "alt.smoking.prohibition", or |"alt.self-righteous" or something where we can debate the issue and |freely criticise each other's lifestyles. |THIS newsgroup, however, is alt.smokers, and I am a smoker. That is why |I am here. I am not here to defend my lifestyle or read a bunch of |self-righteous diatribe. Can we please talk about smoking? |Just a thought. My car's taken up smoking, how can I get it to quit? Just as I was getting ready to drop an ascii TV on Chester, I noticed that it was smoking. I tried to move towards the outlet and kick the cord out of the socket but I was too late! It and me went up in a puff of smoke and now I'm just a pile of ash with a couple of eyeballs. Now I have to wait to be reconstituted for the next scene. Chester, you have been warned! -- "Wherever there is belching, we'll be there! Wherever there is stupidity, we'll be there! Wherever there is candy, we'll be there!", Wacko, Yakko and Dot Warner
fts@cris.com (Chester 'Flat' Karma) wrote: >Chester - wondering why this isn't crossposted to alt.fan.warlord? NOT RESPONSIBLE! (ob bill)--Bill -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
>dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) boogied: (>In some bacon article elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) stated: >>In article <4lsfda$33l@tofu.alt.net> seaner@exo.com (Darth Vader) writes: >>>In article <elvi.vtkk.v1wki.2380.004CCF94@memo.vtkk.fi>, >>>elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi says... >>>>In article <4lgh2f$acd@freenet.vcu.edu> cabbage <pford@cabell.vcu.edu> >>writes:>>>Subject: New Super Deluxe Turbo XL 3000 Unit Absolutely FREE >>>> >>>>>If you can guess just what the hell it is.... >>>> >>>>A pencil! Exactly what I'm missing! >> >>>Not so fast, buddy boy...it ain't no pencil. It's an ultra-fast mouse. Very >>>hard for us Windows types to see it moving across the screen because it's so >>>fast. But I think I found your pencil, it's a yellow American Standard #2, >>>right? >> (>Wrong, it's a New Super Deluxe Turbo XL 3000 Unit (>Absolutely STRONG and FREE, and I found it in my (>halibut bowl, sorry. > >Dammit, here I've been looking all over for your pencil and >then you tell me you had it in your halibut bowl all the time! >That's the first place you look! Where's the second? (>*MM >/^JN - The Anti JN - BTW, has anyone seen my Rotring .4 mechanical pencil? I think it's in Flapjack's butt. Great sharpener. cabbage: trying to find the whatchamajig.
>jwa3@cornell.edu (otto) posed this: >ok, what is the purpose/topic of this group? Oh, about six-thirty EST. cabbage: Mr. helpful.
cabbage <pford@cabell.vcu.edu> wrote: >>jwa3@cornell.edu (otto) posed this: >>ok, what is the purpose/topic of this group? > it's about AMEAL--YAH! no, wate it's about this long and it's about this wide also, it's...huh... > Oh, about six-thirty EST. > > > >cabbage: Mr. helpful. > > --Bill (thanks, cabbage) -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
In article <4m86c1$htv@newsbf02.news.aol.com>, advosroch@aol.com (AdvosRoch) writes: > The Advocate Connection is the newsletter from Bah, this is irrelevant! Listen to this instead, this is truly important poetry, right from the lungs, not to mention the fingers, of One who has Seen the Light: Advocate Spatulas ================= I awoke upon a morning, the cellery was gone, And all that was left for me, was a little sad song. So I got up really quickly, got dressed and all that, And ran away to work, Not caring a single twatt: CHORUS: `coz I'm a Attorney Spatula, Yeah, Yeah, A spatula Advocate, Yeah, Yeah, And I won't come back! So I entered the office, looked at my desk, heard my collegues say "he's smelling like a FESK" But I cared not at all, for the boss stood in the door, Calling us to attention, Said there was a battle to be fought: CHORUS * 3 So I went home that night Feeling alright, Because the Truth was known, Even in this old town, And now I say to you humpty-humpty-tu-tu CHORUS END OF SONG: Ping So, what about that? -- Per Harald Myrvang | Ausculta mihi! Tibi dico! perm@stud.cs.uit.no | http://www.cs.uit.no/~perm/
Olives from Spain. Capers from Turky. Cheese from Gouda. Kavli from Norway. Oil from your neighbor's back yard (boom boom)! --Bill -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
In article <4mig40$c31$1@mhade.production.compuserve.com>, Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> wrote: >Olives from Spain. >Capers from Turky. >Cheese from Gouda. >Kavli from Norway. >Oil from your neighbor's back yard (boom boom)! > I thought that if you went to a continental breakfast, you got to eat a continent. "Welcome sir, here's Australia. Would you like some hollandaise sauce with that?" I never went to any because of that; I don't think I have that much of an appetite. -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and bastard spawn of Norman Rockwell Pick Up The Phone Booth and Die: http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html Do you sing like Olive Oyl on purpose? You guys must be into the Eurythmics. - TMBG
In article <4mgdds$gdd$1@mhafn.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: > I was downloading a file from a SIG (Special Interest Group) and > forgot to shut off the "chat" mode. That mode allows you > to converse with other CI$ users during the download, but slows > everything. > > Anyway, I'm watching these message roll by, when someone > named Janet Bacon signs on. So I wrote, "Hello Janet, did > you know that bacon is a favorite subject in the Internet > newsgroup alt.stupidity?" > > She replied, "Thanks, Bill" and exited. > > Everybody else left the chat room, too. > > Did I say something wrong, or did they all leave to see > what what was going on here? I don't know, Bill. I've tried this one too, except I don't know anyone named Bacon. So I always have to say "Y'know, if your name were Bacon, you'd be interested to kow that Bacon is a favorite subject on the Usenet newsfroup alt.stupidity." No luck so far. flapjack-who would have thought a school with a 70-30 gender ratio would help with these things -- Flapjack, the Guilt Toad who's out of here within the week, suckers. "I'm going to back a cack as a snake for my snack."--William Shakespeare Like rain on Alanis Morissette's wedding day, it's: HTTP://students.vassar.edu/~nosmith/nosmith.html
In some bacon article tortess@panix.com (Tortess) stated: >Michael Roach (mikroa@ix.netcom.com) wrote: >: Even if it's not connected to power, your laptop can be damaged in a >: thunderstorm. When you start seeing the flashes of lightning, turn your >: laptop off! > >: Michael--I should have shut it off before the raindrops hit the keyboard > >Hard lesson, Mike. I, too, have learned the hard way: trust me -- never, >ever, EVER try to use your laptop while you getting a root canal. > >As you can probably imagine, it does neither your computer nor your >molars much good. Yes, but what about the mouth figurines? >Hope this helps. I'll have to get back to you on this one. >Gesundheit. /^JN - The Anti JN - Freiheit. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # Add bacon prior to use. Bail me out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In some bacon article elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) stated: >In article <4m6cs9$ie6@panix3.panix.com> tortess@panix.com (Tortess) writes: > >>1/2 soft cheese >>a very old sock > >Why both? Yeah, one of them is enough to get high. >*MM /^JN - The Anti JN - Who knows from personal experience. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # Add bacon prior to use. Bail me out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In some bacon article tortess@panix.com (Tortess) stated: >tv's Spatch (spatula@kona.javanet.com) wrote: >: In article <4m93n9$i9u@berlin.infomatch.com>, >: Monkey Performing a Lobotomy <ratman@infomatch.com> wrote: >: > >: >--- >: >Quick! Ring the Unexploded Scotsman Squad! >: > >: >ratman@infomatch.com >: > > >: And then, some days, it's just nice to sit back and realize that some >: folks just don't get it, and probably never will, neither. > >I got it. And its costing me a fortune in treatments to get rid of it. >But three more visits, and I'm cured. Beer. Nice, woody sound. /^JN - The Anti JN - Reviving old stuff from the archives. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # Add bacon prior to use. Bail me out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In some bacon article spatula@kona.javanet.com (tv's Spatch) stated: >In article <4m8ff7$pg5@news.lth.se>, Anti JN <dat92jni@ludat.lth.se> wrote: >>In some bacon article fts@cris.com stated: >> >>I killed him, >>>*cha cha cha* > >"Whad'ya mean, ya killed him, cha cha cha?" "Hey, don't look at me like that. He didn't suffer! I just fed him into the waste grinder and flushed his bits into space." >- spatch, wondering where his confidence and paranoia are - Probably in the drive room since that's where Listers were. /^JN - The Anti JN - By the way, where the hell did Keylime go? -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # Add bacon prior to use. Bail me out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In some bacon article cabbage <pford@cabell.vcu.edu> stated: >Get up. Get down. /^JN - The Anti JN - This could be the beginning of a thread. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # Add bacon prior to use. Bail me out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
Looky, looky, spatula@kona.javanet.com (tv's Spatch) sez: >In article <4m61cn$dch@dfw-ixnews6.ix.netcom.com>, >Jason Nafziger <jnafz@ix.netcom.com> wrote: >>Looky, looky, limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) sez: >> >>>tv's Spatch (spatula@kona.javanet.com) wrote: >>>: In article <4m04cg$l5n@news.bu.edu>, Ross Garmil <limrag@bu.edu> wrote: >>>: >cabbage (pford@cabell.vcu.edu) wrote: >>>: >: lil <ldale@nmsu.edu> wrote: >>>: >: >ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) wrote: >>>: >: >><In article <4l99a5$t3k@bubba.NMSU.Edu> lil <ldale@nmsu.edu> writes: >>>: >: >>< ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) wrote: >>>: >: >>< ><In article <4l35k7$h1a@news.bu.edu> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) write: >>< > >>>: >: >>< ><Ross--who specializes in 80's music, more specifically early 80's. >>>: >: >>< > >>>: >: >>< > That would explain why he runs, he runs so far away... >>>: >: >> >>>: >: >>< Not because you like black and white, run run away? >>>: >: >> >>>: >: >> No, because one thing, one thing leads to another... >>>: >: > >>>: >: >Much like the black panties with an angel's face... >>>: > >>>: >: Yeah but, You can dance if you want to.....umm --dada da dada-- >>>: >: ...but if ya can't dance then you're......no friend of mine. >>>: > >>>: >: cabbage: er sumthin' like that. >>>: > >>>: >Cabbage, sorry to see that you're losing it. After all, you were so >>>: >in phase, in the dance hall days. >> >>>: The day they knocked down the Palais, my sister stood there and cried. >>>: (even though I don't have a sister.) >> >>>But I thought sister was sighing in her sleep, ah-ah-ah-aahhh; brother's >>>got a date to keep, he can't hang around. >> >>No, no, she was TALKING in her sleep, therefore I heard the secrets >>that she keeps... >That's nice, but, lately, you know, I always feel like somebody's >watching me. Well, of course, private eyes are watchin' you. They see your every move... Jason - who likes that one better than the Police reference he could've made... ____________________ CRAPPY the HOMEPAGE: http://www.geocities.com/hollywood/3984 They're coming... watch your back for the Food Fighters...
In some bacon article ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) stated: ><In article <4m05pk$pjq@dfw-ixnews6.ix.netcom.com> jnafz@ix.netcom.com (Jason Nafziger) writes: ><Looky, looky, cabbage <pford@cabell.vcu.edu> sez: > ><>lil <ldale@nmsu.edu> wrote: ><>>ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) wrote: ><>>><In article <4l99a5$t3k@bubba.NMSU.Edu> lil <ldale@nmsu.edu> writes: ><>>>< ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) wrote: ><>>>< ><In article <4l35k7$h1a@news.bu.edu> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: ><>>>< > ><>>>< ><Ross--who specializes in 80's music, more specifically early 80's. ><>>>< > ><>>>< > That would explain why he runs, he runs so far away... ><>>> ><>>>< Not because you like black and white, run run away? ><>>> ><>>> No, because one thing, one thing leads to another... ><>> ><>>Much like the black panties with an angel's face... > ><> Yeah but, You can dance if you want to.....umm --dada da dada-- ><> ...but if ya can't dance then you're......no friend of mine. > ><Then I guess I'll just keep dancin' with myself, oh-oh... > > Why not? It's a great day for a white wedding... Then we can rock the cradle of love. ><Jason - who hopes this doesn't start another one of Those Threads... > > Well, when a problem comes along, you must whip it! /^JN - The Anti JN - When an egg comes along, you must whip it, whip it good. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # Add bacon prior to use. Bail me out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In some bacon article jnafz@ix.netcom.com stated: >Looky, looky, spatula@kona.javanet.com (tv's Spatch) sez: >>In article <4m61cn$dch@dfw-ixnews6.ix.netcom.com>, >>Jason Nafziger <jnafz@ix.netcom.com> wrote: >>>Looky, looky, limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) sez: >>>>tv's Spatch (spatula@kona.javanet.com) wrote: >>>>: In article <4m04cg$l5n@news.bu.edu>, Ross Garmil <limrag@bu.edu> wrote: >>>>: >cabbage (pford@cabell.vcu.edu) wrote: >>>>: >: lil <ldale@nmsu.edu> wrote: >>>>: >: >ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) wrote: >>>>: >: >><In article <4l99a5$t3k@bubba.NMSU.Edu> lil <ldale@nmsu.edu> writes: >>>>: >: >>< ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) wrote: >>>>: >: >>< ><limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) write: >>< > >>>>: >: >>< ><Ross--who specializes in 80's music, more specifically early 80's. >>>>: >: >>< > That would explain why he runs, he runs so far away... >>>>: >: >>< Not because you like black and white, run run away? >>>>: >: >> No, because one thing, one thing leads to another... >>>>: >: >Much like the black panties with an angel's face... >>>>: >: Yeah but, You can dance if you want to.....umm --dada da dada-- >>>>: >: ...but if ya can't dance then you're......no friend of mine. >>>>: > >>>>: >: cabbage: er sumthin' like that. >>>>: > >>>>: >Cabbage, sorry to see that you're losing it. After all, you were so >>>>: >in phase, in the dance hall days. >>> >>>>: The day they knocked down the Palais, my sister stood there and cried. >>>>: (even though I don't have a sister.) >>> >>>>But I thought sister was sighing in her sleep, ah-ah-ah-aahhh; brother's >>>>got a date to keep, he can't hang around. >>> >>>No, no, she was TALKING in her sleep, therefore I heard the secrets >>>that she keeps... > >>That's nice, but, lately, you know, I always feel like somebody's >>watching me. > >Well, of course, private eyes are watchin' you. They see your every >move... Every move you make, every breath you take... >Jason - who likes that one better than the Police reference he >could've made... /^JN - The Anti JN - Who had to write the reference that Jason didn't. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # Add bacon prior to use. Bail me out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In article <4m2ib3$v2h@kona.javanet.com> spatula@kona.javanet.com (tv's Spatch) writes: >- spatch, drop them suggestions my way, mr. consumer - ...ummm... are there any ascii cats in PUTPBAD2? 0R K00L N3KK1D ASC11 C3L3BR1TYS!!?!!11!!1!! Or a massacre parlor? *MM
In article <elvi.vtkk.v1wki.2421.009ACEBF@memo.vtkk.fi>, Magnus Mulqvist <elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi> wrote: >In article <4m2ib3$v2h@kona.javanet.com> spatula@kona.javanet.com (tv's Spatch) writes: > >>- spatch, drop them suggestions my way, mr. consumer - > >...ummm... are there any ascii cats in PUTPBAD2? >0R K00L N3KK1D ASC11 C3L3BR1TYS!!?!!11!!1!! >Or a massacre parlor? Um, no, no, and no. Here's a copy of Leisure Suit Larry XVII: Heh Heh, You Said XVII. Check that out. -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and bastard spawn of Norman Rockwell Pick Up The Phone Booth and Die: http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html Do you sing like Olive Oyl on purpose? You guys must be into the Eurythmics. - TMBG
In some bacon article cabbage <pford@cabell.vcu.edu> stated: >>dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) boogied: >(>In some bacon article elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) stated: >>>In article <4lsfda$33l@tofu.alt.net> seaner@exo.com (Darth Vader) writes: >>>>In article <elvi.vtkk.v1wki.2380.004CCF94@memo.vtkk.fi>, >>>>elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi says... >>>>>In article <4lgh2f$acd@freenet.vcu.edu> cabbage <pford@cabell.vcu.edu> >>>writes:>>>Subject: New Super Deluxe Turbo XL 3000 Unit Absolutely FREE >>>>>>If you can guess just what the hell it is.... >>>>>A pencil! Exactly what I'm missing! >>>>Not so fast, buddy boy...it ain't no pencil. It's an ultra-fast mouse. Very >>>>hard for us Windowstypes to see it moving across the screen because it's so >>>>fast. But I think I found your pencil, it's a yellow American Standard #2, >>>>right? >(>Wrong, it's a New Super Deluxe Turbo XL 3000 Unit >(>Absolutely STRONG and FREE, and I found it in my >(>halibut bowl, sorry. >> >>Dammit, here I've been looking all over for your pencil and >>then you tell me you had it in your halibut bowl all the time! >>That's the first place you look! > > Where's the second? In Flapjack's butt. >>/^JN - The Anti JN - BTW, has anyone seen my Rotring .4 mechanical pencil? > > I think it's in Flapjack's butt. Great sharpener. Hmmm. I didn't see it when I looked. I'd better call the internal revenue board. >cabbage: trying to find the whatchamajig. /^JN - The Anti JN - I think I saw that in the whatchamacallit. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # Add bacon prior to use. Bail me out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In article <4mhar6$9lm@kona.javanet.com>, spatula@kona.javanet.com (tv's Spatch) writes: > In article <4mh7u1$bqm@news.uit.no>, > Per Harald Myrvang <perm@stud.cs.uit.no> wrote: > >In article <4m968l$p80@kona.javanet.com>, spatula@kona.javanet.com (tv's > Spatch) > >> That's Fred MacMurray's upside down pipe. > >No, it's not. It's the missing piece. > Of course, it's the missing piece to Fred MacMurray's upside down pipe! Certainly Not(tm)! I've been looking for it for several millions of years. Do you know how boring it was to wait until a species evolved that were intelligent enough to invent the computer? Well, I'll tell you: It was very, very, boring. So there. > >> I seen it before. > >Really? Why didn't you tell me then? I've been looking for it since I lost it > >near Atlantis, back in , oh what was it, 9000BC I think. > No, it was in '78 and we were at the Hepcat Lounge. 7800BC? Couldn't be, I was definitly fooling around in what later was to be known as Egypt then. Hehe, I set up this huge piles of stone, and told the high-priest that he'd better build better piles, and that rather quickly, otherwise the boogeyman would come and seal his loin-cloth. He did a rather remarkable job, don't you think? > - spatch, welcome back, myrvang - Thanks! Say, update that FAQ of yours, will you? And, yes, I nearly forgot. You're invited to the annual Lutefisk-Feast here in Tromsoe later this summer. You'll be there, right? -- Per Harald Myrvang | Ausculta mihi! Tibi dico! perm@stud.cs.uit.no | http://www.cs.uit.no/~perm/
In article <318D3F69.6451@iol.ie>, _amp <AdamJ@iol.ie> writes: > Per Harald Myrvang wrote: > > Jeez, this is such a *TypicaL* question! If you got out and installed a > > proper toaster, you could do away with all this lousy Visual DOS things. > > I recomend you use Linux, since the later kernels have SMP support, and > > enable you to handle Loadable Food Modules, so that you can for example > > use a robot-spatula, a toaster, a coffee-maker, and a printer ALL AT THE > > SAME TIME, IN PARALELL! > Spatch is a ROBOT!!! No, he isn't. I built him. I use only High Quality Biological Parts. A ROBOT would be made out of metal. Pfaugh! Metal. Such a puny material! > EXTERMINATE..and bacon! > EXTERMINATE..and bacon! > EXTERMINATE..and bacon! This sounds like a Arobics workout-video. "..and bacon, and bacon, bacon-bacon-bacon, once more, two to go, bacon, and bacon, bacon- bacon, bacon, bacon, that's it, now we'll do the right inner side..." > Agg! No-no-no, don't you want to look like Lou Ferrigno? > -- amp: trapped in a 70's sci-fi movie Really? -- Per Harald Myrvang | Ausculta mihi! Tibi dico! perm@stud.cs.uit.no | http://www.cs.uit.no/~perm/
In article <4m9at6$r00$2@mhafc.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: >Subject: Damn that... >..chile I ate. >--Bill >-- More so than you think: it was a voodoo one!! *MM -- waiting for the slight return.
Chester 'Flat' Karma wrote:
>
> In a moment of sheer confusion, Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM>
> broadcast to the world:
>
> >_amp <AdamJ@iol.ie> wrote:
> >
> >:Chester 'Flat' Karma wrote:
> >:>
> >:> On Mon, 22 Apr 1996 23:23:17 GMT, mikroa@ix.netcom.com (Michael Roach)
> >:> wrote:
> >
> >[snip]
> >
> >:Ok I admit it. I can't restrain it on my own. I now formally declare open
> >:warfare on the damn thing. I wash my hands of it.
> >
> >:The Who-ever Destroys The V Shall Win Half My Kingdom Promotion
> >:~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> >:__ ______
> >:\ \/ /| _ \WARNING V's can seriously damage your health!!
> >: \ / | __/Wibbles!Wobbles!Wubley!at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
> >: \/ |_| v2.79 and counting. "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn
> >
> >
> >Sure! I'll give it a try!
> >
> > _-
> >-_ /
> > \ /
> >\ /
> > ____
> > \|/ | _ \WARNING V's can seriously damage your health!!
> >-POP- | __/Wibbles!Wobbles!Wubley!at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
> > /|\ |_| v2.79 and counting. "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn
> >\
> >\ /
> > /
> >
> >Lookithat! Didn't even scratch the "P" next to it!
SHOT!!
Bill officially wins .5 of My Kingdom!!
Here you go Bill: My Ki[slice]ngdom
Which half would you like?
>
> Wait a minute! How could the V be in +Amp's .sig and be crushing me at the
> same time? Oh no!, It's a conspiracy! LOOK OUT EVERYONE, BILL JUST PISSED
> THE ILLUMINATI OFF!!
And so my V realises that it's not obeying the laws of physics(captain) and
(with the aid of Bill, natch) POP's out of existence.
The ILLUMINATI are pissed off and Chester gives me yet another name..
The multiple dimensions go back into sync and all is well in the universe
-- amp: who really is trying hard not scream "ENGAGE!!!!"
(damn)
____
\|/ | _ \WARNING V's can seriously damage your health!!
-POP- | __/Wibbles!Wobbles!Wubley!at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
/|\ |_| v2.80 and counting. "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn
Per Harald Myrvang wrote:
>
> In article <3187A2F2.6B0A@iol.ie>, _amp <adamj@iol.ie> writes:
> > WHAT DOES THIS MEAN!!!!!!
> > /
> > ¬
>
> Oh, you found it! Great! I've thought I've lost it forever! Thanks!
>
> Here, have a reward: ³
Cool.. another thing for my physco .sig
>
> And again, thanks! Now I can finish the repairs on my spaceship, and
> go home! It's been so long!
I think you'll find you also need a Speak and Spell(tm) and a
buzzsaw(not tm)
-- amp: hth
____
\|/ | _ \WARNING V's can seriously damage your health!! ³
-POP- | __/Wibbles!Wobbles!Wubley!at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
/|\ |_| v2.80 and counting. "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn
_amp <AdamJ@iol.ie> wrote:
>Per Harald Myrvang wrote:
>>
>> In article <3187A2F2.6B0A@iol.ie>, _amp <adamj@iol.ie> writes:
>> > WHAT DOES THIS MEAN!!!!!!
>> > /
>> > ¬
[slective snips]
>> Oh, you found it! Great! I've thought I've lost it forever! Thanks!
>>
>
____
> \|/ | _ \WARNING V's can seriously damage your health!! ³
>-POP- | __/Wibbles!Wobbles!Wubley!at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
> /|\ |_| v2.80 and counting. "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn
Hey! Wut gives? Kool! Irish & Vikings finally getting along after
all these centuries!
--Bill (who knows jack shit about history)
--
You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be
surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors."
--The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity
Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
In a moment of sheer confusion, elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) broadcast to the world: >In article <4mh7ki$bqm@news.uit.no> perm@stud.cs.uit.no (Per Harald Myrvang) writes: >>In article <4m92s5$p0i@panix3.panix.com>, tortess@panix.com (Tortess) writes: >>> _amp (adamj@iol.ie) wrote: >>> : WHAT DOES THIS MEAN!!!!!! >>> : / >>> : ¬ >>> It means your cat's been walking across the keyboard again. > >>No, it meant (past tense, see?) that he found it! And now, soon, as >>soon as I can find that crank, I'll have completed my spaceship, and >>finally I can go home! >>-- >How nice and serene... you have found the ASCII part that your >ASCII space ASCII ship was missing and now you can go back to >your ASCII home... I wonder if his ASCII space ASCII ship resembles an ASCII forklift... --- \ \/ /\\___ Chester 'Flat' Karma - crushed beneath a runaway forklift. \ /_[____] "OLE! so it isn't exactly a forklift" - tv's Spatch O_\/(o_____o) Read alt.i.get.hurt.by.runaway.ascii.art.regularly \ \ This has been read [INLINE] times. - http://www.cris.com/~fts
In a moment of sheer confusion, cwagner@io.com (Christian Wagner) broadcast to the world: >In article <318d6ca7.9168081@nntp.ix.netcom.com>, >Michael Roach <mikroa@ix.netcom.com> wrote: >>After G'Kwan and the last of the telepaths defeated the shadow warriors, >>seaner@exo.com (Darth Vader) was heard to proclaim: >>|In article <4lv5m3$slo@lhc.nlm.nih.gov>, doering@xrayspex.nlm.nih.gov says... >>|Bhagavad-Gita??? Isn't that an old Iron Butterfly tune? Sounds farmiliar. >>You're thinking of the aftershave company that used to put up >>billboards, or something. > >Even the Immortal Brahma >Shaves before he hugs his mama. Good thing too, cuz that stubble could seriously hurt her... >Karma Shave. GYAHHHHH! I can shave myself THANKYOUVERYMUCH! --- \ \/ /\\___ Chester 'Flat' Karma - crushed beneath a runaway forklift. \ /_[____] "OLE! so it isn't exactly a forklift" - tv's Spatch O_\/(o_____o) Read alt.i.get.hurt.by.runaway.ascii.art.regularly \ \ This has been read [INLINE] times. - http://www.cris.com/~fts
In article <4mjt9s$6gl@news.lth.se>, Anti JN <dat92jni@ludat.lth.se> wrote: >In some bacon article spatula@kona.javanet.com (tv's Spatch) stated: >>In article <4m8ff7$pg5@news.lth.se>, Anti JN <dat92jni@ludat.lth.se> wrote: >>>In some bacon article fts@cris.com stated: >>> >>>I killed him, >>>>*cha cha cha* >> >>"Whad'ya mean, ya killed him, cha cha cha?" > >"Hey, don't look at me like that. He didn't suffer! I just >fed him into the waste grinder and flushed his bits into space." Ding dong! Another bright idea from the people who brought you beer milkshakes! (I realize this is the point where you try and convince me to take my helmet off but I like the other line much better.) > >>- spatch, wondering where his confidence and paranoia are - > >Probably in the drive room since that's where Listers were. I wouldn't go in there, the Mayor of Warsaw just spontaneously combusted in the corridor nearby. > >/^JN - The Anti JN - By the way, where the hell did Keylime go? Everybody's dead, Jesper. -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and bastard spawn of Norman Rockwell Pick Up The Phone Booth and Die: http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html Do you sing like Olive Oyl on purpose? You guys must be into the Eurythmics. - TMBG
In article <318d117b.168245710@news.gnn.com>, E Teflon Piano <RGRIFFITHS@ubmail.ubalt.edu> wrote: >In article <kibo-0405960412000001@news.std.com>, James "Kibo" Parry wrote: > >>I BOUGHT A CD-ROM WITH NEARLY lOO DIRTY RATED XXX PICTURES ON IT BUT A >>COUPLE OF THEM WERE ONLY X AND 1 WAS XXXX !!!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!11 WHAT I WANT >>TO KNOW IS WHO EVER CAN I SUE TO GET MY VIRIGNITY BACK ????????/// PLEASE >>REPLY BY POSTINF PUBLICLY BECAUSE I NEED TO NO AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO I >>CAN GET IT IN TIME TO GET IT IF YOU NO WHAT I MEAN GUYS !!!!!!!!!!!1 HAR > > The Internet 'Lectronic Legal Society advises the possible defendants are >either the Catholic Church, c/o The Vatican, Rome, France > or > Bobby Darin, the dangerous road, Hollywood, Candada. > > [or Bobby Goldsborough, we forget which]. Somebody poke Trask, we foresee >another round of Kitzch Muzak.] Who's responsible for this song I heard on the supermarket Muzak tonight? It started with a little girl singing "Dear Mr. Kibo, I just had to write to you" and then goes on and on about some form of domestic abuse, I think it's bagel abuse or something, and the song continues until the little girl's head explodes. You know her head explodes because at the end of the song there's this big "WHOOOM!" and then in the background one of the studio technicians says "Holy shit, her head just exploded!" I really think it has potential for Kathie Lee, provided it's guaranteed her head explodes at the end, too. -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and bastard spawn of Norman Rockwell Pick Up The Phone Booth and Die: http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html Do you sing like Olive Oyl on purpose? You guys must be into the Eurythmics. - TMBG
I was walking over to get a cup of mocha this morning and witnessed the most dramatic police chase that I have ever saw. Well ok so it was the only police chase that I have ever saw. There were about twenty police motorcycles and a helicopter chasing after this girl who was on foot. She wasn't running very fast but the police didn't jump on her because she was smiling and had a weapon - a great big old giant bic lighter. I'm not kidding this lighter was HUGE! There were news cameras everywhere and people clapping and cheering her on like she was some kind of folk hero just like that OJ thing that happened a few weeks ago down there in LA up over in California. I don't know if they ever caught her or not or what she did but I'm guessing by the size of that lighter that she probably burned down a church or something and killed a bunch of people. I don't have a tv so I couldn't see if it was on CNN or not but it did make the paper (Only I can't read so I don't know for sure why the cops were after her - I just saw the picture on the front page). Does anyone know if they ever caught her or what she might have done? God that was the most scary thing I ever saw and it happened so quick! I called 911 a whole bunch of times and asked if they ever caught the girl with that big giant lighter but they keep hanging up on me and.... just a sec there's people banging on the door..... be right back...... ^&~~~2*jKKKKKKK^H^H NO CARRIER
In a moment of sheer confusion, troll@under_the_bridge.com (Lord Troll)
broadcast to the world:
>I was wondering if anyone had a good recipe for Cat Taco's?
Cat Tacos (Serves 4 hungry ASCII stupidians):
STEP 1: Take a cat.
, ,
("\''/").__..--''"'_.
`9_ 9 ) `_. ( ).`-.__.`)
( Y .)' ._ ) ` `.`'_..-'
_..`--''_..-_/ /--'_.' .'
(il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
STEP 2: Destroy the cat using ASCII explosions, chainsaws, etc.
(I'll leave the visuals for this one up to Bill and #Amp)
STEP 3: Insert Cat Remains Into ASCII Taco Shell.
STEP 4: Enjoy.
---
\ \/ /\\___ Chester 'Flat' Karma - crushed beneath a runaway forklift.
\ /_[____] "OLE! so it isn't exactly a forklift" - tv's Spatch
O_\/(o_____o) Read alt.i.get.hurt.by.runaway.ascii.art.regularly
\ \ This has been read [INLINE] times. - http://www.cris.com/~fts
A defintie +!! Sez me. That Zorak cracks me up (I think). -- "Oh, to be in England now that April's there" --RB My opinions are not those of my employer.
In a moment of sheer confusion, nosmith@vassar.edu (Flapjack) broadcast to the world: >I don't know, Bill. I've tried this one too, except I don't know >anyone named Bacon. So I always have to say "Y'know, if your name were >Bacon, you'd be interested to kow that Bacon is a favorite subject on >the Usenet newsfroup alt.stupidity." No luck so far. You gotta go to one of the little signs in front of a room, and write "Chat Room" on it, THEN go in the room and try it... betcha it works. >flapjack-who would have thought a school with a 70-30 gender ratio >would help with these things I believe the sentence you should use in that case is: "Hi, I'm Bob Vila. Will you have sex with me?" --- \ \/ /\\___ Chester 'Flat' Karma - crushed beneath a runaway forklift. \ /_[____] "OLE! so it isn't exactly a forklift" - tv's Spatch O_\/(o_____o) Read alt.i.get.hurt.by.runaway.ascii.art.regularly \ \ This has been read [INLINE] times. - http://www.cris.com/~fts
In a moment of sheer confusion, dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) broadcast to the world: >In some bacon article cabbage <pford@cabell.vcu.edu> stated: >>Get up. > >Get down. Antelope freeway, 1/2 mile... >/^JN - The Anti JN - This could be the beginning of a thread. Or the continuation of a long-past thread. --- \ \/ /\\___ Chester 'Flat' Karma - crushed beneath a runaway forklift. \ /_[____] "OLE! so it isn't exactly a forklift" - tv's Spatch O_\/(o_____o) Read alt.i.get.hurt.by.runaway.ascii.art.regularly \ \ This has been read [INLINE] times. - http://www.cris.com/~fts
In article <4mjt9s$6gl@news.lth.se>, Anti JN <dat92jni@ludat.lth.se> wrote: >In some bacon article spatula@kona.javanet.com (tv's Spatch) stated: >>In article <4m8ff7$pg5@news.lth.se>, Anti JN <dat92jni@ludat.lth.se> wrote: >>>In some bacon article fts@cris.com stated: >>> >>>I killed him, >>>>*cha cha cha* >> >>"Whad'ya mean, ya killed him, cha cha cha?" > >"Hey, don't look at me like that. He didn't suffer! I just >fed him into the waste grinder and flushed his bits into space." Ding dong! Another bright idea from the people who brought you beer milkshakes! (I realize this is the point where you try and convince me to take my helmet off but I like the other line much better.) > >>- spatch, wondering where his confidence and paranoia are - > >Probably in the drive room since that's where Listers were. I wouldn't go in there, the Mayor of Warsaw just spontaneously combusted in the corridor nearby. > >/^JN - The Anti JN - By the way, where the hell did Keylime go? Everybody's dead, Jesper. -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and bastard spawn of Norman Rockwell Pick Up The Phone Booth and Die: http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html Do you sing like Olive Oyl on purpose? You guys must be into the Eurythmics. - TMBG
In some bacon article fts@cris.com stated: >In a moment of sheer confusion, dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) broadcast >to the world: > >>In some bacon article cabbage <pford@cabell.vcu.edu> stated: >>>Get up. >> >>Get down. > >Antelope freeway, 1/2 mile... Cantelope payway, 1/2 mille... >>/^JN - The Anti JN - This could be the beginning of a thread. > >Or the continuation of a long-past thread. /^JN - The Anti JN - Or a new thread blended with an old one. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # Add bacon prior to use. Bail me out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
Jason Nafziger (jnafz@ix.netcom.com) wrote: : Looky, looky, spatula@kona.javanet.com (tv's Spatch) sez: : >In article <4m61cn$dch@dfw-ixnews6.ix.netcom.com>, : >Jason Nafziger <jnafz@ix.netcom.com> wrote: : >>Looky, looky, limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) sez: : >> : >>>tv's Spatch (spatula@kona.javanet.com) wrote: : >>>: In article <4m04cg$l5n@news.bu.edu>, Ross Garmil <limrag@bu.edu> wrote: : >>>: >cabbage (pford@cabell.vcu.edu) wrote: : >>>: >: lil <ldale@nmsu.edu> wrote: : >>>: >: >ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) wrote: : >>>: >: >><In article <4l99a5$t3k@bubba.NMSU.Edu> lil <ldale@nmsu.edu> writes: : >>>: >: >>< ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) wrote: : >>>: >: >>< ><In article <4l35k7$h1a@news.bu.edu> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) write: >>< > : >>>: >: >>< ><Ross--who specializes in 80's music, more specifically early 80's. : >>>: >: >>< > : >>>: >: >>< > That would explain why he runs, he runs so far away... : >>>: >: >> : >>>: >: >>< Not because you like black and white, run run away? : >>>: >: >> : >>>: >: >> No, because one thing, one thing leads to another... : >>>: >: > : >>>: >: >Much like the black panties with an angel's face... : >>>: > : >>>: >: Yeah but, You can dance if you want to.....umm --dada da dada-- : >>>: >: ...but if ya can't dance then you're......no friend of mine. : >>>: > : >>>: >: cabbage: er sumthin' like that. : >>>: > : >>>: >Cabbage, sorry to see that you're losing it. After all, you were so : >>>: >in phase, in the dance hall days. : >> : >>>: The day they knocked down the Palais, my sister stood there and cried. : >>>: (even though I don't have a sister.) : >> : >>>But I thought sister was sighing in her sleep, ah-ah-ah-aahhh; brother's : >>>got a date to keep, he can't hang around. : >> : >>No, no, she was TALKING in her sleep, therefore I heard the secrets : >>that she keeps... : >That's nice, but, lately, you know, I always feel like somebody's : >watching me. : Well, of course, private eyes are watchin' you. They see your every : move... Damn you, Nazfiger...daaaaammmmnnnnn yooooouuuuu!!!!!! Well, at least I can make the easy Police reference : Jason - who likes that one better than the Police reference he : could've made... D'oh! Fine--hey Spatch, don't move, tiptoe across the floor. If he hears he'll knock all day, and you'll be trapped, and here you'll have to stay. Ross--who's glad we were so paranoid in the 80's.
In some bacon article spatula@kona.javanet.com (tv's Spatch) stated: >In article <4mjt9s$6gl@news.lth.se>, Anti JN <dat92jni@ludat.lth.se> wrote: >>In some bacon article spatula@kona.javanet.com (tv's Spatch) stated: >>>In article <4m8ff7$pg5@news.lth.se>, Anti JN <dat92jni@ludat.lth.se> wrote: >>>>In some bacon article fts@cris.com stated: >>>> >>>>I killed him, >>>>>*cha cha cha* >>> >>>"Whad'ya mean, ya killed him, cha cha cha?" >> >>"Hey, don't look at me like that. He didn't suffer! I just >>fed him into the waste grinder and flushed his bits into space." > >Ding dong! Another bright idea from the people who brought you beer >milkshakes! Shut up, mister Gaspacho!!! >(I realize this is the point where you try and convince me to take my >helmet off but I like the other line much better.) Unfortunately it leaves me with no funny reply quote, so I took one from the next episode. >>>- spatch, wondering where his confidence and paranoia are - >>Probably in the drive room since that's where Listers were. >I wouldn't go in there, the Mayor of Warsaw just spontaneously combusted >in the corridor nearby. No worry, it's raining herring at the moment. >>/^JN - The Anti JN - By the way, where the hell did Keylime go? > >Everybody's dead, Jesper. (l)Laura isn't is she? Hmmm, maybe we should move this thread to alt.tv.red-dwarf... /^JN - The Anti JN - .... NAH! -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # Add bacon prior to use. Bail me out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In article <4mjtk8$6hv@news.lth.se> dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) writes: >In some bacon article cabbage <pford@cabell.vcu.edu> stated: >>Get up. >Get down. Gett off. >/^JN - The Anti JN - This could be the beginning of a thread. >-- *MM -- who thinks that this could be the end of a thread.
In article <319011fc.14698916@news.cris.com>, Chester 'Flat' Karma <fts@cris.com> wrote: >In a moment of sheer confusion, dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) broadcast >to the world: > >>In some bacon article cabbage <pford@cabell.vcu.edu> stated: >>>Get up. >> >>Get down. > >Antelope freeway, 1/2 mile... So take yo' honky ass to town. > >>/^JN - The Anti JN - This could be the beginning of a thread. > >Or the continuation of a long-past thread. Or the start of something sick. - spatch, yer walking along the street, avoiding the garbage... - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and bastard spawn of Norman Rockwell Pick Up The Phone Booth and Die: http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html Do you sing like Olive Oyl on purpose? You guys must be into the Eurythmics. - TMBG
In article <elvi.vtkk.v1wki.2450.01582722@memo.vtkk.fi>, Magnus Mulqvist <elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi> wrote: >In article <4mlfos$cf6@news.enterprise.net> Elkie <an593306@anon.penet.fi> writes: > >>There will be a meeting of those interested in old, classic >>and antique farmyard instruments at the N.E.C (Birmingham, UK) >>on the following dates: > >>1 may 1996 >>5 may 1996 >>25 may 1996 > >>There will be hundreds of classic farmyard appartaus in view. > >Long time no see classic farmyard asparagus, only them >green giant stumps in tin cans. > >*MM -- hmm... in-tin-tin can-cans... *gary numan voice on* in cans! doo doo dee doo doo doo doo dee doo doo in cans! doo doo dee doo doo doo doo dee doo doo -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and bastard spawn of Norman Rockwell Pick Up The Phone Booth and Die: http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html Do you sing like Olive Oyl on purpose? You guys must be into the Eurythmics. - TMBG
In article <4mont1$39k@newsbf02.news.aol.com>, HGLEIDT <hgleidt@aol.com> wrote: >Just though I'd tell ya that in the new People magazine (the one with >Halle Berry on the cover) there is an article about the real-life Kramer >& also something about the Soup Nazi. > >Heather Yes, friends, it's time to play FIND THE PURPOSE FOR THIS POST! With your host, the dead, bloated corpse of Burt Convy! "That's right, all you have to do is explain why Heather posted the above to alt.config in 25 words or less, and you win 50 points and control of the board for Round Two! You get half off if you include the words 'lamer' or 'moron', and 10 points off if all you do is say 'Cause she's >from AOL'. You win a copy of our home game if you correctly deduce that Spatch isn't exactly helping the situation out much, but is in fact just being incredibly silly! And now, let's begin!" -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and bastard spawn of Norman Rockwell Pick Up The Phone Booth and Die: http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html Do you sing like Olive Oyl on purpose? You guys must be into the Eurythmics. - TMBG
In article <4mq837$3s@news.lth.se>, Anti JN <dat92jni@ludat.lth.se> wrote: >In some bacon article spatula@kona.javanet.com (tv's Spatch) stated: >>In article <4mjt9s$6gl@news.lth.se>, Anti JN <dat92jni@ludat.lth.se> wrote: >>>In some bacon article spatula@kona.javanet.com (tv's Spatch) stated: >>>>In article <4m8ff7$pg5@news.lth.se>, Anti JN <dat92jni@ludat.lth.se> wrote: >>>>>In some bacon article fts@cris.com stated: >>>>> >>>>>I killed him, >>>>>>*cha cha cha* >>>> >>>>"Whad'ya mean, ya killed him, cha cha cha?" >>> >>>"Hey, don't look at me like that. He didn't suffer! I just >>>fed him into the waste grinder and flushed his bits into space." >> >>Ding dong! Another bright idea from the people who brought you beer >>milkshakes! > >Shut up, mister Gaspacho!!! That's Mister Gaspatcho to you, herring-boy. > >>(I realize this is the point where you try and convince me to take my >>helmet off but I like the other line much better.) > >Unfortunately it leaves me with no funny reply quote, >so I took one from the next episode. That's ok; I couldn't think of a funny reply either so I paraphrased or something and used my name as a joke. > >>>>- spatch, wondering where his confidence and paranoia are - >>>Probably in the drive room since that's where Listers were. >>I wouldn't go in there, the Mayor of Warsaw just spontaneously combusted >>in the corridor nearby. > >No worry, it's raining herring at the moment. "I'm fine, thank you, Susan." See? Couldn't think of a funny in-context reply there, neither, so I used a quote from Kryten a few seasons later. > >>>/^JN - The Anti JN - By the way, where the hell did Keylime go? >> >>Everybody's dead, Jesper. > >(l)Laura isn't is she? She's dead, Jesper, everybody's dead. > >Hmmm, maybe we should move this thread to alt.tv.red-dwarf... > >/^JN - The Anti JN - .... NAH! Well put. I'm wondering if they're still nursing the QWIK-N-EZ GRAMMAR METER grudge they had on me a few years back. -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and bastard spawn of Norman Rockwell Pick Up The Phone Booth and Die: http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html Do you sing like Olive Oyl on purpose? You guys must be into the Eurythmics. - TMBG
In some bacon article Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@compuserve.com> stated:
>santala@cs.bu.edu (Sam Santala) wrote:
>>john patrick lodder (lod2@quads.uchicago.edu) wrote:
>>: In article <4m6dl7$ain@dub-news-svc-5.compuserve.com>,
>>: Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@compuserve.com> wrote:
>>: >cabbage <pford@cabell.vcu.edu> wrote:
>>: >>Buy a new one.
>>: >>cabbage: Thinks that's the best way to fix lawnmowers.
>>: >Wrap it up in bandages and check it in a few weeks to see if
>>: >it has healed.
>>: Swap it into one that you know works.
>>
>>Ignore it, you weren't using it anyways.
>>(alteratively, use something that wasn't designed to perform the function
>> of the broken object, thus rendering the new object broken as well)
>>
>I haven't checked into the latest beta of POV-RAY. What's the
>syntax for rendering a broken object and can you give an example?
obejct {
Ellipsoid
scale <1, 2, 1>
pigment {Red}
texture {Broken}
translate <20, 1, -11>
}
HTH!
>Thanx!
>--Bill
/^JN - The Anti JN - Povver on!
--
######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ########
# Add bacon prior to use. Bail me out! Lord Jester of Antioc #
# Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se #
############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
jnafz@ix.netcom.com (Jason Nafziger) wrote: :Looky, looky, spatula@kona.javanet.com (tv's Spatch) sez: :>In article <DqHEEI.Aoy@midway.uchicago.edu>, :>john patrick lodder <lod2@quads.uchicago.edu> wrote: :>>Sorry. It just had to be said. :>I understand. Every now and then I feel like singing a Toto :>lyric. But then again, every now and then I fall apart. :Help him! He's broken apart his insides! :Jason - who's got no soul to sell... I thought you were buying. --Bill -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
In article <4mmnev$4ll@carbon.cudenver.edu> pjnoone@ouray.cudenver.edu (PJ! No one? ;)) writes:
>--
> \||/ The "Dragon"
> | @___oo
> /\ /\ / (__,,,,| In ancient tymes
> ) /^\) ^\/ _) in thee lands of lore
> ) /^\/ _) there flew the shines
> ) _ / / _) of mandrake and 'cor
> /\ )/\/ || | )_) a winged best of flame
> < > |(,,) )__) over peoples and wagon
> || / \)___)\ this thing of blame
> | \____( )___) )___ a big giant flying dragon
> \______(_______;;; __;;;
>--
AAAAARGHH!
The "Dragon"
/\ /\ _, In ancient tymes
) /^\) ^\/ _) in thee lands of lore
) /^\/ _) there flew the shines
) _ / / _) of mandrake and 'cor
/\ )/\/ || | )_) a winged best of flame
< > |(,,) )__) over peoples and wagon
|| / \)___)\ this thing of blame
| \____( )___) )___ a big giant flying dragon
\______(_______;;; __;;;
*MM -- phew, that was the riskiest ever.
In article <318FD8A5.7DEE@uni.massey.ac.nz> Gordon.Jamieson.1@massey.ac.nz writes: >"Given that the universe is infinite >and God is also infinite, would you like some toast?" ...and bacon? *MM
In some bacon article spatula@kona.javanet.com (tv's Spatch) stated: >In article <4mq837$3s@news.lth.se>, Anti JN <dat92jni@ludat.lth.se> wrote: >>In some bacon article spatula@kona.javanet.com (tv's Spatch) stated: >>>In article <4mjt9s$6gl@news.lth.se>, Anti JN <dat92jni@ludat.lth.se> wrote: >>>>In some bacon article spatula@kona.javanet.com (tv's Spatch) stated: >>>>>In article <4m8ff7$pg5@news.lth.se>, Anti JN <dat92jni@ludat.lth.se> wrote: >>>>>>In some bacon article fts@cris.com stated: >>>>>>I killed him, >>>>>>>*cha cha cha* >>>>>"Whad'ya mean, ya killed him, cha cha cha?" >>>>"Hey, don't look at me like that. He didn't suffer! I just >>>>fed him into the waste grinder and flushed his bits into space." >>> >>>Ding dong! Another bright idea from the people who brought you beer >>>milkshakes! >> >>Shut up, mister Gaspacho!!! > >That's Mister Gaspatcho to you, herring-boy. *Swirls right arm and hand in a ridicoulusly overdone gesture* >>>(I realize this is the point where you try and convince me to take my >>>helmet off but I like the other line much better.) >> >>Unfortunately it leaves me with no funny reply quote, >>so I took one from the next episode. > >That's ok; I couldn't think of a funny reply either so I paraphrased or >something and used my name as a joke. Which actually was very witty and refreshing... My compliments. >>>>>- spatch, wondering where his confidence and paranoia are - >>>>Probably in the drive room since that's where Listers were. >>>I wouldn't go in there, the Mayor of Warsaw just spontaneously combusted >>>in the corridor nearby. >> >>No worry, it's raining herring at the moment. > >"I'm fine, thank you, Susan." > >See? Couldn't think of a funny in-context reply there, neither, so I >used a quote from Kryten a few seasons later. "Three and a half badgers please!" Me too! >>>>/^JN - The Anti JN - By the way, where the hell did Keylime go? >>> >>>Everybody's dead, Jesper. >> >>(l)Laura isn't is she? > >She's dead, Jesper, everybody's dead. Not Kaj, is he? >>Hmmm, maybe we should move this thread to alt.tv.red-dwarf... >> >>/^JN - The Anti JN - .... NAH! > >Well put. I'm wondering if they're still nursing the QWIK-N-EZ GRAMMAR >METER grudge they had on me a few years back. *grin* Well, they had it coming. Or perhaps not, but it was fun. For all you youngsters, check out http://www.ludat.lth.se/~dat92jni/funnys/archive/grammar-meter.html for explanation... /^JN - The Anti JN - Damn it, why do I suddenly feel so old? -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # Add bacon prior to use. Bail me out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
Anti JN (dat92jni@ludat.lth.se) wrote: : /^JN - The Anti JN - Freiheit. Cool. I LOVED Ray Bradbury. -- Gesundheit.
In some bacon article tortess@panix.com (Tortess) stated: >Anti JN (dat92jni@ludat.lth.se) wrote: > >: /^JN - The Anti JN - Freiheit. > >Cool. I LOVED Ray Bradbury. >-- >Gesundheit. Dammit Tortess! Now everybody in the computer room are staring at me! *Turns to the computer room:* Are you staring at me? Haven't you ever seen anybody ROTFL? Wanna fight? I'll kill your processes _dead_ man! I can do that! *sounds of struggle in the background* *Comes back* Hehehehehe...Let's se how much he had. What!?! Just 20Meg quota? Not even worth the trouble... Just my luck. /^JN - The Anti JN - Ok, just move along, there's nothing to see here. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # Add bacon prior to use. Bail me out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
Ross Garmil (limrag@bu.edu) may have flamed: : _amp (AdamJ@iol.ie) wrote: : : Ross Garmil wrote: : : > : : > tv's Spatch (spatula@kona.javanet.com) wrote: : : > : In article <4m8412$819@news.bu.edu>, Ross Garmil <limrag@bu.edu> wrote: : : > : >Tortess (tortess@panix.com) wrote: : : > : >: Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@compuserve.com) wrote: : : > : >: : ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) wrote: : : > : >: : What's a kleenex? : : > : > : : > : >: I dunno, what's a henway? : : > : > : : > : >I dunno, what's a snu? : : > : : > : What? : : > : : > No, he's on second. : : > : : So who's on first base? : Well, um....yeah, he is. : : > Ross--who's not asking you who's on second. : : -- amp: hey! I just dropped 2232 matches! : Make a wish! : Ross--who is depressed and thoroughly confused. But hopefully not flammable. -- Gesundheit.
tornado watch until 3am big noise and lights in the sky i sit here typing trying to dodge the mighty stu NO CARRIER -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
# # ###### #### # # ## ## # # # # # # ## # ##### # # # # # # # # # # ## # # # # # # ## ## # # ###### #### # # had to get that off the ches' finals week and all... </L> -- ========================================================== |\/| ---- _ Laura J. Zurawski --- juniper@uiuc.edu =(--)=_____ \ http://www.uiuc.edu/ph/www/juniper c___ (______/ http://www.students.uiuc.edu/~juniper/cats/
cabbage Fonzed:
>
> Where are all the chicks?
>
On Bills bird table methinks?
-- amp: Medoes?
____
\|/ | _ \WARNING V's can seriously damage your health!! ³
-POP- | __/Wibbles!Wobbles!Wubley!at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
/|\ |_| v2.80 and counting. "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn
Chestril 'Flak' Carmag writed:
>
> In a moment of sheer confusion, troll@under_the_bridge.com (Lord Troll)
> broadcast to the world:
>
> >I was wondering if anyone had a good recipe for Cat Taco's?
>
> Cat Tacos (Serves 4 hungry ASCII stupidians):
>
> STEP 1: Take a cat.
>
> , ,
> ("\''/").__..--''"'_.
> `9_ 9 ) `_. ( ).`-.__.`)
> ( Y .)' ._ ) ` `.`'_..-'
> _..`--''_..-_/ /--'_.' .'
> (il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
>
> STEP 2: Destroy the cat using ASCII explosions, chainsaws, etc.
> (I'll leave the visuals for this one up to Bill and #Amp)
> ^^^^
Arrrrrggggh! quit it will you, just stop it right now
> STEP 3: Insert Cat Remains Into ASCII Taco Shell.
>
> STEP 4: Enjoy.
>
-- amp: that's amp to you buster
____
\|/ | _ \WARNING V's can seriously damage your health!! ³
-POP- | __/Wibbles!Wobbles!Wubley!at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
/|\ |_| v2.80 and counting. "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn
After G'Kwan and the last of the telepaths defeated the shadow warriors, fts@cris.com (Chester 'Flat' Karma) was heard to proclaim: |In a moment of sheer confusion, elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi (Magnus |Mulqvist) broadcast to the world: | |>In article <4mh7ki$bqm@news.uit.no> perm@stud.cs.uit.no (Per Harald Myrvang) writes: |>>In article <4m92s5$p0i@panix3.panix.com>, tortess@panix.com (Tortess) writes: |>>> _amp (adamj@iol.ie) wrote: |>>> : WHAT DOES THIS MEAN!!!!!! |>>> : / |>>> : ¬ |>>> It means your cat's been walking across the keyboard again. |> |>>No, it meant (past tense, see?) that he found it! And now, soon, as |>>soon as I can find that crank, I'll have completed my spaceship, and |>>finally I can go home! |>>-- |>How nice and serene... you have found the ASCII part that your |>ASCII space ASCII ship was missing and now you can go back to |>your ASCII home... | |I wonder if his ASCII space ASCII ship resembles an ASCII forklift... Gawd, not another one of those Ascii Ascii posts! -- "Ascii stupid question, get a stupid ansi", Joey
In article <4mp82g$b1g@kona.javanet.com> spatula@kona.javanet.com (tv's Spatch) writes: >In article <4mont1$39k@newsbf02.news.aol.com>, HGLEIDT <hgleidt@aol.com> wrote: >>Just though I'd tell ya that in the new People magazine (the one with >>Halle Berry on the cover) there is an article about the real-life Kramer >>& also something about the Soup Nazi. >> >>Heather >Yes, friends, it's time to play FIND THE PURPOSE FOR THIS POST! >With your host, the dead, bloated corpse of Burt Convy! >"That's right, all you have to do is explain why Heather posted the above >to alt.config in 25 words or less, and you win 50 points and control of >the board for Round Two! You get half off if you include the words >'lamer' or 'moron', and 10 points off if all you do is say 'Cause she's >from AOL'. You win a copy of our home game if you correctly deduce that >Spatch isn't exactly helping the situation out much, but is in fact just >being incredibly silly! And now, let's begin!" Okay. *Ahem.* First ever entry in FTPFTP: She wrote it esecabu she wants to share. Or BECAUSE SHE IS A LAMER MORON FROM AOL!! Dammit Burt, I didn't do very well did I? I just get carried away sometimes, and unfortunately this is one of those times. *MM
In article <4mrt5t$fgt@dfw-ixnews2.ix.netcom.com>, Antonio <olskool@ix.netcom.com> wrote: >MY FRIENDS, SHORTLY, WE ARE ABOUT TO SEE SOMETHING HAPPEN WHICH WILL CHANGE THE >FACE OF THE WORLD: THE SOVIET UNION WILL RISE AGAIN, LIKE A GREAT PHOENIX, >FROM THE ASHES OF HISTORY. Doo dah, doo dah! > >ONCE AGAIN SHALL THE MIGHTY MEMBERS OF THE POLITBURO STAND ON THE GREAT >MAUSOLEUM OF LENIN AND WATCH THE TANKS AND MISSILES ROLL BY, SYMBOLS OF THE >AWESOME POWER OF THE RED ARMY. Doo dah, doo dah! > ONCE AGAIN SHALL THE K.G.B. SILENCE ANTI-SOVIET >THINKERS WHO ARE FOOLISH ENOUGH, OR INSANE ENOUGH, TO RAISE THEIR VOICES AGAINST >THE RULE OF THE PROLETARIAT. Doo dah, doo dah! (try it, it's fun!) > ONCE AGAIN SHALL THE PEOPLES OF EASTERN EUROPE >LOOK TO MOSCOW FOR GUIDANCE AND IDEOLOGICAL GUIDANCE. Doo dah, doo dah! > >COMRADE GENNADY ZYUGANOV WILL RULE A NEW POLITBURO FROM THE HALLS OF THE >GREAT KREMLIN. Doo dah, doo dah! > THE NEWS MEDIA WILL AGAIN GIVE HOMAGE TO THE REVOLUTIONARY >IDEALS OF THE COMMUNIST PARTY. Doo dah, doo dah! > THE WORKERS WILL RETURN TO THEIR JOBS, THE >FACTORIES WILL AGAIN HUM WITH ACTIVITY, AND THE GLORIOUS PROLETARIAT WILL MARCH >AGAIN TO THE STRAINS OF THE GREAT SOVIET ANTHEM: "OH, I DON'T WANT ANYBODY ELSE, WHEN I THINK ABOUT YOU, I TOUCH MYSELF..." > > "OH GLORIOUS UNION OF FREE-BORN REPUBLICS. GREAT RUSSIA UNITED > FOREVER TO STAND...." Don't forget the "Doo dah! Doo dah!" > >ONCE AGAIN, THE PEOPLES OF THE WORLD WILL TREMBLE AT THE SIGHT OF THE MIGHTY >FORCES OF THE SOVIET UNION, READY TO FIGHT A NEW, HEROIC REVOLUTIONARY STRUGGLE, >IN THE NAME OF V.I. LENIN, IN THE NAME OF THE MOTHERLAND, AND IN THE GLORIOUS >NAME OF COMMUNISM! Leapin' Lenin! You're that big ol' Russian wrestler guy who used to piss Hulk Hogan off during "Hulk Hogan's Rock N Wrestling", aren't you? Nikolai Volkoff, right?! Wow! Can I have your autograph? > >LONG LIVE THE NEW SOVIET UNION! AND BACON! - spatch, "and wait 'til they try the third five-year plan!" - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and undisputed something-or-other Pick Up The Phone Booth and Die: http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html "DRIVING DOWN HIGHWAY 40 IN MY BIG OL' PICKUP TRUUCK!" - Brak "Every day they get more violent, every day they get more nude." - Peter Cook
<In article <elvi.vtkk.v1wki.2449.0151B160@memo.vtkk.fi> elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) writes: <In article <4mjtk8$6hv@news.lth.se> dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) writes: <>In some bacon article cabbage <pford@cabell.vcu.edu> stated: <>>Get up. <>Get down. <Gett off. Stay on the SCENE! Like a Stoopid MaCHINE! <>/^JN - The Anti JN - This could be the beginning of a thread. <>-- <*MM -- who thinks that this could be the end of a thread. Got ta followUP, y'all got ta followUP, y'all got ta followUP, y'all Stay on the SCREEN! Like a Stoopid MaCHINE!
<In article <4mjs8v$5vp@news.lth.se> dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) writes: <In some bacon article tortess@panix.com (Tortess) stated: <>tv's Spatch (spatula@kona.javanet.com) wrote: <>: In article <4m93n9$i9u@berlin.infomatch.com>, <>: Monkey Performing a Lobotomy <ratman@infomatch.com> wrote: <>: > <>: >--- <>: >Quick! Ring the Unexploded Scotsman Squad! <>: > <>: >ratman@infomatch.com <>: > <> <>: And then, some days, it's just nice to sit back and realize that some <>: folks just don't get it, and probably never will, neither. <> <>I got it. And its costing me a fortune in treatments to get rid of it. <>But three more visits, and I'm cured. <Beer. Nice, woody sound. Yes, and it's not just for breakfast anymore, too! </^JN - The Anti JN - Reviving old stuff from the archives. If you see my Resuci-Annie in there, let me know.
<In article <Pine.SOL.3.91.960509170531.11925G-100000@sirius> Pi Alpha Nu <ksm3ba@herts.ac.uk> writes: < I can't believe how long it takes to get this stuff! The newest date in < my altdotstupidity list is dated 3 days ago! It's thursday. < *grrrr* < Mircalla Mordenheim Stay cool and have a great weekend!
Pi Alpha Nu wrote:
>
> I can't believe how long it takes to get this stuff! The newest date in
> my altdotstupidity list is dated 3 days ago!
>
> *grrrr*
>
> Mircalla Mordenheim
>
> .----------------------------.
> __ _____| HaIL ERiS! -><- |_____ __
> __________| |__| :| | |__| |__________
> \ :| |::| :| ksm3ba@herts.ac.uk | |::| | /
> \ :| |::| :| delirium@nether.net | |::| | /
> \ :| |::| :| "Everything you know could | |::| | /
> > :| |::| :| be a lie." | |::| | <
> / :| |::| :|____________________________| |::| | \
> / :|__|::|____:/ Alanis Morrisette \____|::|__| \
> /________:/ \::/ (FORGIVEN) \::/ \.________\
> we all have delusions in our head,
> ,-. ,-. ,-. o we all had our minds made up for us, \ o / _ o \ /
> | | |-' | | we had to believe in something, | /\ |
> |-' `-' ' ' so we did. / \ | \ /o\
> '
I think something's slowing the bandwidth...
See ya in three days!
-- amp: who's one to talk
____
\|/ | _ \WARNING V's can seriously damage your health!! ³
-POP- | __/Wibbles!Wobbles!Wubley!at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
/|\ |_| v2.80 and counting. "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn
In article <4motod$42a@arl-news-svc-4.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@compuserve.com> writes:
>santala@cs.bu.edu (Sam Santala) wrote:
>>john patrick lodder (lod2@quads.uchicago.edu) wrote:
>>: In article <4m6dl7$ain@dub-news-svc-5.compuserve.com>,
>>: Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@compuserve.com> wrote:
>>: >cabbage <pford@cabell.vcu.edu> wrote:
>>: >>Buy a new one.
>>: >>
>>: >>cabbage: Thinks that's the best way to fix lawnmowers.
>>: >
>>: >Wrap it up in bandages and check it in a few weeks to see if
>>: >it has healed.
>>
>>: Swap it into one that you know works.
>>
>>Ignore it, you weren't using it anyways.
>>(alteratively, use something that wasn't designed to perform the function
>> of the broken object, thus rendering the new object broken as well)
>>
>I haven't checked into the latest beta of POV-RAY. What's the
>syntax for rendering a broken object and can you give an example?
>Thanx!
>--Bill
>--
The syntax is very simple, in BOR metacode as follows:
Þ=>O ;;break object
/ \
| \|/ |
R=>|-POP- Hi! | ;;render broken object
| /|\ |
\ /
Examples are still quite sparse though.
*MM
Looky, looky, Serv-U <servu@ccom.net> sez: >LONELY? >Are you Looking for the LOVE you think you'll never find? >Don't Look any further!!! 'Cuz you'll never find it, stupid! Jason - who's all out of love... ____________________ CRAPPY the HOMEPAGE: http://www.geocities.com/hollywood/3984 Be a part of history: http://www.netcom.com/~jnafz/index.html "Being with you is like math class" - Supernova "Math"
error@hell wrote: : As a Christian I am concerned with all these reports of aliens (greys) : abducting people. Now while it is easy to ignore these reports, I do not : think it prudent to take this matter lightly as there are just too many : reports of alien abductions to be ignored. Look, if you just have fun saying "anal probe" go ahead and say it. We won't stop you. But there's no need to make up all these sill stories just to say "anal probe." Here's a neat game; try fitting the words "anal probe" into every sentence. You'll start to learn just how versatile anal probes can be. Ross--who's glad he's not obsessed with the words "anal probe" himself.
Looky, looky, ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) sez: ><In article <4mgc4o$hqp@freenet.vcu.edu> cabbage <pford@cabell.vcu.edu> writes: >< >jwa3@cornell.edu (otto) posed this: >< >ok, what is the purpose/topic of this group? >< Oh, about six-thirty EST. > Huh? No way, it's currently at about 1500 Lira.. I thought it was Antelope Freewa-- *SLONK* >< cabbage: Mr. helpful. > Where's Mr. Natural when we need him? He's with Mr. Obvious... Jason - who likes both Bob and Tom equally... ____________________ CRAPPY the HOMEPAGE: http://www.geocities.com/hollywood/3984 Be a part of history: http://www.netcom.com/~jnafz/index.html "Being with you is like math class" - Supernova "Math"
Jason Nafziger (jnafz@ix.netcom.com) wrote: : Looky, looky, ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) sez: : ><In article <4mgc4o$hqp@freenet.vcu.edu> cabbage <pford@cabell.vcu.edu> writes: : >< >jwa3@cornell.edu (otto) posed this: : >< >ok, what is the purpose/topic of this group? : >< Oh, about six-thirty EST. : > Huh? No way, it's currently at about 1500 Lira.. : I thought it was Antelope Freewa-- *SLONK* : >< cabbage: Mr. helpful. : > Where's Mr. Natural when we need him? : He's with Mr. Obvious... Well, DUH, wasn't THAT obvious. : Jason - who likes both Bob and Tom equally... Tortess, who hears Jason actually likes them at the same time... -- Gesundheit.
Crackpottier <gary@freenet.mb.ca> wrote: [multiple snips] : Anyone ever set their multiple account .forward files :into a loop? A couple of my clones in Denver and Omaha tried that. They were extinguished after about a hundred loops. --Bill (who has clones to spare) -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Where are all the chicks? cabbagefonzarelli
In article <4mu28s$4e1@panix3.panix.com>, Tortess <tortess@panix.com> wrote: >_amp (AdamJ@iol.ie) wrote: >: cabbage Fonzed: >: > >: > Where are all the chicks? >: > > >: On Bills bird table methinks? > >Yes, Bill orders from the colonel all da time. No wonder his balcony is >so popular -- it's a protest. But the Colonel has been dead since 1980. Ewwwww. - spatch, who is colonel soze? - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and undisputed something-or-other Pick Up The Phone Booth and Die: http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html "DRIVING DOWN HIGHWAY 40 IN MY BIG OL' PICKUP TRUUCK!" - Brak "Every day they get more violent, every day they get more nude." - Peter Cook
hamebone <hamebone@ix.netcom.com> wrote:
:I couldn't believe I was seeing Robin Williams make himself into
:a useful idiot
\|/
-POP- Hi!
/|\
:last night at that fund raising event for that scumbag Bill
:Clinton and his whore wife Hillary.
Huh?
--
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
After G'Kwan and the last of the telepaths defeated the shadow warriors,
_amp <AdamJ@iol.ie> was heard to proclaim:
[snip]
| /|\ |_| v2.80 and counting. "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
This was the best since Siant III The Search for Bacon
Michael--hey, I happen to LIKE the odd numbered films in the series!
--
"Wherever there is belching, we'll be there! Wherever there
is stupidity, we'll be there! Wherever there is candy, we'll
be there!", Wacko, Yakko and Dot Warner
Michael Roach writed:
>
> After G'Kwan and the last of the telepaths defeated the shadow warriors,
> _amp <AdamJ@iol.ie> was heard to proclaim:
>
> [snip]
> | /|\ |_| v2.80 and counting. "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn
> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
> This was the best since Siant III The Search for Bacon
So _that's_ what it means!
But hey, did you you really snip my .sig. I'm getting a bit
sensitive about it.
>
> Michael--hey, I happen to LIKE the odd numbered films in the series!
Me, I just like odd films..
-- amp: amp's asylum: the revenge coming soon!
____
\|/ | _ \WARNING V's can seriously damage your health!! ³
-POP- | __/Wibbles!Wobbles!Wubley!at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
/|\ |_| v2.80 and counting. "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn
Michael Roach wrote:
>
> After G'Kwan and the last of the telepaths defeated the shadow warriors,
> santala@cs.bu.edu (Sam Santala) was heard to proclaim:
>
> |Magnus Mulqvist (elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi) wrote:
> |: In article <4m2ib3$v2h@kona.javanet.com> spatula@kona.javanet.com (tv's Spatch) writes:
> |
> |: >- spatch, drop them suggestions my way, mr. consumer -
> |
How come this Mr. Consumer guy gets all the suggestions?
Pah!
>
> |--
> || Sam Santala\ / "Half of what he said ment something else,:"Yeah, Yeah,
> || \ / and the other half ment nothing at all." : He's rotten!"
> ||santala@bu.eduY -Rosencrantz & Gildenstern are Dead- :-Crow T. Robot
> ||http://www.retina.net/~gratis/
>
> Hey _amp, I think I found your V! It appears that after it was stolen,
> it was taken to an ascii chop shop, the parts redistributed, and now it
> is starting to reappear in .sig's illegally customized with stolen
> parts!
and I missed a huge royalty fee oportunity. I could have licensed it to
a large company and become the richest man on earth!
hmmm..
-- amp: ......mmmmmmmmMMMMMMmmmMMMmmmMmMmmMMMMMMmmmm...
____
\|/ | _ \WARNING V's can seriously damage your health!! ³
-POP- | __/Wibbles!Wobbles!Wubley!at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
/|\ |_| v2.80 and counting. "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn
but I'm still typing at the same speed?
-- amp: what gives?
____
\|/ | _ \WARNING V's can seriously damage your health!! ³
-POP- | __/Wibbles!Wobbles!Wubley!at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
/|\ |_| v2.80 and counting. "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn
:but I'm still typing at the same speed? Yeah. I can't see any difference. Maybe you forgot to jack the accelerator cables into your wrist sockets. :-- amp: what gives? Usually the finger muscles slightly before type ahead buffer overflows. Here, I'll show you as i kick in theee accakeifl3#^%98f1*6.*97 NO CARRIER -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Head Librarian (krtanner@mercury.gaianet.net) wrote: : James Croce Jr. (bigjim@operator.name.net) wrote: : : staloff@scunix4.harvard.edu (Mark Staloff) wrote: : : >just julia (jstarkey@course2.harvard.edu) wrote: : : > : : >: OK, we were all a little suspcious of earring magic ken and hairdresser ken. : : >: Come on, a fetching lavender mesh vest? However, there is a gay ken type : : > ^ : : >Hrm. I read this as "felching". : : You would. : When should we laugh? When someone just stupid enough makes a witty remark about confusing it again with "belching." Oh! HA HA HA HA!!! a-HAW HAW HAW hee hee HA HA HA HA ho ho ho wheeeha ha ha HA HA HA ho ho heh heh heh heh ha! Jeez. I slay me. -- Gesundheit.
Anti JN wrote:
>
> In some bacon article _amp <AdamJ@iol.ie> stated:
> >Anti JN wrote:
> >>
> >> In some bacon article _amp <AdamJ@iol.ie> stated:
> >> [ Touching scenes from PUTBAD ] (No not that kind of touching you pervert!)
> >>
> >> > -----Your Dead------
> >>
> >> As opposed to "My Dead"?
> >
> >This will be fixed in the next vesion
>
> Hey! You don't work for Micro$oft, do you?!?
kNoh
>
> >> >-- amp: WHO WANT PUTPBAD 2 NOW!!!!
> >>
> >> Hey, I don't even have access to PUTPBAD 1, I'm waiting for the
> >> Solaris version!
> >>
> >> >__ ______
> >> >\ \/ /| _ \WARNING V's can seriously damage your health!!
> >> > \ / | __/Wubley!Wubley!Wubley!at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
> >> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
> >>
> >> YM "Wibbles Wobble". HTH.
> >
> >TY
> >
> >>
> >> > \/ |_| v2.78 and counting. "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn
> >>
> >> /^JN - The Anti JN - More spadding at http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
> >
> >-- amp: who is to young to know what spadding means
>
> Hmmm... Yeah. Sorry. Please move back. There's nothing to see here.
>
Now I could be logical about this and say "you dissin' my html" but
it is unfortunatly true. Also I don't know what logical means.
(wow I spelled "unfortunatly"!!!)
> >__ ______
> >\ \/ /| _ \WARNING V's can seriously damage your health!!
> > \ / | __/Wibbles!Wobbles!Wubley!at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
> > \/ |_| v2.79 and counting. "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn
> >
>
> /^JN - The Anti JN - (---Police Line---Do Not Cross---)
Ha ! what you gonna do now? huh?
-- amp: Police brutality at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
____
\|/ | _ \WARNING V's can seriously damage your health!! ³
-POP- | __/Wibbles!Wobbles!Wubley!at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
/|\ |_| v2.80 and counting. "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn
_Amp wrote: :(wow I spelled "unfortunatly"!!!) You mipelled "advurb." Hope this trolls. --Bill -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
zaticon1@aol.com (Zatizon1) single-handedly typed: :E F --Bill -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Tortess (tortess@panix.com) wrote: : Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@compuserve.com) wrote: : : tortess@panix.com (Tortess) wrote: : : >Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: : : >: tornado watch until 3am : : > : : >: big noise and lights in the sky : : > : : >: i sit here typing trying to dodge the mighty stu : : > : : >Hey, me too! See? : : > : : > trying to dodge the mighty stu <redundant repetition snipped and removed because it was redundant> : : >who's stu? : : > : : You haven't heard that song, "Stu the Ecskimo?" : Yuck, who'd wanna stew an eskimo? (Or an ecskimo, for that matter?) Yuck! Eskimo Stu? Icky! : Umm, this is NOT the Seventies Song Lyrics thread. (At least it : wasn't two posts ago!) How long is that? : --Tortess, who's beginning to wonder whether there aren't a lot more : 30-somethings out there in alt.stupidity than first supposed. Umm, this is NOT the thirtys song lyrics thread. (At least it wasn't before two posts from now!) : P.S. Didn't it actually go: We're all TYPING trying to dodge the Mighty : Stu? : -- : Gesundheit. -- Steve http://warez.phantom.com keyboard failure press any key to continue
In article <31919FC5.5DD9@127.0.0.1> Alias Undercover <foo@127.0.0.1> writes: >Magnus Mulqvist wrote: >> In article <4mh707$bqm@news.uit.no> perm@stud.cs.uit.no (Per Harald Myrvang) >writes: >> >> >Bah, this is irrelevant! Listen to this instead, this is truly important >> >poetry, right from the lungs, not to mention the fingers, of One who has >> >Seen the Light: >[Great poetry deleted, due to lack of space. If anybody has any >available space for sale, please mail me at the address given in the >header, right?] >> >END OF SONG: Ping >> >So, what about that? >> That's a damn good question. >Hey! It was a great song! >\Per, oops, Alias Så det er det De tenker, hva? De får ikke anledning, De fordomte udugelig idiot! Så fort vi kommer til Tromsø skal jeg få Dem arrestert. (Translation: Thelma Lureen, I want you to feed these here chickens right now, before it gets too goddamn hot.) *MM -- with a little help from here there and everywhere.
Magnus Mulqvist wrote: > In article <31919FC5.5DD9@127.0.0.1> Alias Undercover <foo@127.0.0.1> writes: > >\Per, oops, Alias > Så det er det De tenker, hva? De får ikke anledning, De > fordomte udugelig idiot! Så fort vi kommer til Tromsø skal > jeg få Dem arrestert. Kjaere Magnus. Siden jeg er politiet i Tromsoe, saa kan De ikke faa meg arrestert. Derimot skal undertegnede faa Dem arrestert, om ikke annet, saa for aa ha forsoekt aa skrive Norsk, uten aa klare det. Men, la oss heller spise en banan, for dette virker jo mer eller mindre som alt.flame, hva? (Translation: How much wood would a woodchuch chuch, if a woodchouch could cough aceeeed! Aciiiiid! Prodigy Rulez) > (Translation: Thelma Lureen, I want you to feed these here > chickens right now, before it gets too goddamn hot.) Yeah, bloody likely! > *MM -- with a little help from here there and everywhere. \Per, oops, Alias, without any help at all
Laura Zurawski <juniper@uiuc.edu> wrote: > > # # ###### #### # # > ## ## # # # # # > # ## # ##### # # # # > # # # # # # ## # > # # # # # ## ## > # # ###### #### # # > Daja, is that you? ></L> Oh. --Bill -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
In article <3193DE57.133D@iol.ie>, _amp <AdamJ@iol.ie> wrote: >Bill Wilkinson wrote: >> >> Laura Zurawski <juniper@uiuc.edu> wrote: >> > >> > # # ###### #### # # >> > ## ## # # # # # >> > # ## # ##### # # # # >> > # # # # # # ## # >> > # # # # # ## ## >> > # # ###### #### # # >> > >> >> Daja, is that you? > >Daja who? Daja vu. -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and undisputed something-or-other Pick Up The Phone Booth and Die: http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html "DRIVING DOWN HIGHWAY 40 IN MY BIG OL' PICKUP TRUUCK!" - Brak "Every day they get more violent, every day they get more nude." - Peter Cook
Looky, looky, Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> sez: >Last night it was tornado threats and big noise storms. >HAH! >Tonight, it's rainstorms and flash fools. >HAH! I live on the second floor! I live upstairs from you... I guess you've probably seen me more... If you hear something late at night Some kind of trouble Some kind of fight Just don't ask me what it was Just don't ask me wh-- *SLONK* NO CARRIER Jason - whose name is Luka ____________________ CRAPPY the HOMEPAGE: http://www.geocities.com/hollywood/3984 Be a part of history: http://www.netcom.com/~jnafz/index.html "Being with you is like math class" - Supernova "Math"
I'll be off line for a while, until I get my batteries recharged. Have a fun and enjoy it! *MM
cabbage (pford@cabell.vcu.edu) wrote: : >troll@under_the_bridge.com (Lord Troll) wrote: : > : >I was wondering if anyone had a good recipe for Cat Taco's? : I had a crappy recipe for cat tacos, the problem was that their : coats were too chewy. And their nine inch nails pierced my cheeks. Ross--who at least looks mod.
What the hell kind of party is that? The nearest description I found in my Big Book of Words didn't sound at all nice. --Bill (wear what?) -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
I should have realized when something flew off of my car and the
brakes felt "funny" that something was up. Since I was on my way to
work and because work is pretty much up hill the whole way, I just
kept going. What happened was that one of the disks on the front broke
and that's what made stuff fall off of my car.
My back brakes worked ok and I could still lock the tires so I decided
it was safe enough to drive home if I just kept my distance and drove
like it was icy since you really loose a lot of stopping power when
your front brakes don't work.
I got to Burnside which is this big hill that goes right down into NW
Portland and realized that I had absolutely no brakes. I started
wishing that I didn't have an automatic. I started to go faster. I
pulled up on the parking brake but that basically did nothing and in
fact I was still accelerating. I remembered these two really long and
steep driveways that come down at an angle from some condominiums so I
decided to cross the yellow line and go up one of them. Oncoming
traffic - there went my first opportunity. Oncoming traffic again -
missed my second and last chance. It was rush hour. Time to think of a
new plan...
I decided to sideswipe the hill on my side of the road to slow down a
little. When I got up onto the sidewalk I saw that there were
telephone poles in my way so I drove back over to the street in order
to re-think that idea. At this point I remembered about my seatbelt
but it was tangled up in the back and I didn't have time to fuss
around with it.
I was thinking that since the city was only a mile or so away and I
was going to crash soon, maybe I should just hit a telephone pole or a
tree or something anyway just to keep it a one car wreck. Well I was
doing about sixty with no seatbelt so I chickened out and decided that
it would be better to rear-end someone that's moving slower than me
and hope for the best.
I hit every red light on the way down including the one at NW 23'rd
which is right at the beginning of the city. I had to swerve to the
right to avoid broadsiding a car and screech back again to avoid the
streetlight on the corner.
Luckily, there was nobody using the outside pumps at the Chevron
station on the right side of the street at the corner of the next
block. I tore in there missing the pumps by inches and probably ran
over the rubber "ding ding" hose. Moments later I was going out the
entrance on the cross street which is a steep uphill climb. The back
of my car lost traction as I was exiting the station and my car
started to spin around but I was able to give it some gas and crank
the wheel the other way and regain control.
I went up the hill and came to a stop about three miles from where my
brakes initially failed and the same number of blocks from my house.
I'm not sure how it was possible lay on the horn and do all that fancy
maneuvering during my short visit at Chevron.
I never hit or sideswiped a thing the whole way and even got a nice
parking spot at the top of the hill.
I had to learn to parallel park all over again since I had no brakes.
You basically have to back in and then jam it in drive in order to
avoid hitting the car behind you and slam it into reverse again so you
don't hit the one up front. It takes a while to do and there was about
six cars behind me on that narrow street waiting for me to park since
they couldn't get around. They must have thought I was insane,
especially because of the look that I imagine was on my face when I
got out of the car.
I walked down to the gas station and asked an attendant if he saw that
car go flying through a few minutes ago. He said "Yea! Did you see
that crazy son of a bitch? Did you get his license plate number?" Then
I asked if they do brake work.
--
Steve http://warez.phantom.com
keyboard failure press any key to continue
In article <4n0aqu$pup@dfw-ixnews1.ix.netcom.com>, Wayne Pollard <wp2000@ix.netcom.com> wrote: >Hi, > > How do I get a newsgroup control message? Dear Wayne, You can't. Do you want to know why? Because you suck. All the best, tv's Spatch - spatch, feeling just a tad juvenile and pithy today - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and undisputed something-or-other Pick Up The Phone Booth and Die: http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html "DRIVING DOWN HIGHWAY 40 IN MY BIG OL' PICKUP TRUUCK!" - Brak "Every day they get more violent, every day they get more nude." - Peter Cook
tv's Spatch (spatula@kona.javanet.com) wrote: : In article <4n0aqu$pup@dfw-ixnews1.ix.netcom.com>, : Wayne Pollard <wp2000@ix.netcom.com> wrote: : >Hi, : > : > How do I get a newsgroup control message? : Dear Wayne, : You can't. Do you want to know why? Because you suck. As a christian, I would have to confer. Creating a new alt group does not take a whole lot of brains. I guess Wayne Pollard has even less though. I can only assume that he was abducted by aliens (demons) and probed anally (sodomy) on a table in a UFO (black mass). ><>
In some bacon article mlbruce@course1.harvard.edu (Matt Bruce) stated: >John "El Pato Loco" McKeon (jmckeon@interserf.net) wrote: >: She's my Cherry Pie, got a smile on her face ten miles wide >: Damn I miss Warrant > >Bye, bye, Mrs. Cherry Pie, >Drove the "Down Boys" to the levy but then Sometimes She Cries; >We're in Uncle Tom's Cabin drinking whiskey and rye, >singing "Heaven's only two miles away." Antelope freeway, 4 miles. >--Matt Actually Matt, your name translates from Swedish to "Carp". /^JN - The Anti JN - As in Carpet. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # Add bacon prior to use. Bail me out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In some bacon article ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) stated: ><In article <4mjs8v$5vp@news.lth.se> dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) writes: ><In some bacon article tortess@panix.com (Tortess) stated: ><>tv's Spatch (spatula@kona.javanet.com) wrote: ><>: In article <4m93n9$i9u@berlin.infomatch.com>, ><>: Monkey Performing a Lobotomy <ratman@infomatch.com> wrote: ><>: > ><>: >--- ><>: >Quick! Ring the Unexploded Scotsman Squad! ><>: > ><>: >ratman@infomatch.com ><>: > ><> ><>: And then, some days, it's just nice to sit back and realize that some ><>: folks just don't get it, and probably never will, neither. ><> ><>I got it. And its costing me a fortune in treatments to get rid of it. ><>But three more visits, and I'm cured. > ><Beer. Nice, woody sound. > > Yes, and it's not just for breakfast anymore, too! ...or three, just chug 'em down! ></^JN - The Anti JN - Reviving old stuff from the archives. > > If you see my Resuci-Annie in there, let me know. Hmmm, sorry, I only found a reference to "Recently-Baptized Annie". Browse yerself to "http://www.ludat.lth.se/~dat92jni/funnys/archive/stupidity3.html#736" for the post... /^JN - The Anti JN - Getting all "librarian"-like. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # Add bacon prior to use. Bail me out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
cabbage <pford@cabell.vcu.edu> wrote: >June issue of "The Net" magazine, top 100, page 35. > I haven't seen that issue, yet. Does this mean that you're famous, like Tortess? > >cabbage: proud of the achievement and blaming --er thanking stupidity! > Can I have yer autograph? --Bill (will you autograph this blank cheque?) -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
In article <DrCosz.LJ8@midway.uchicago.edu>, john patrick lodder <lod2@quads.uchicago.edu> wrote: >Yes! I finally saw the much talked about, ever so famous, >first episode of the Highlander TV series. And to think >I thought the first reference I saw to Magic: the Gathering >was a Highlander reference (and I posted it right here in >alt.stupidity, too). I'm going to show that I was once a Magic geek long before the cards were dumb and overpriced and make a silly joke: "There can be only one." Oh, that means he's a Legend, then. - spatch, i have since kicked the habit and thrown away all my Magic cards, including the rare alphas I had and the mox emerald and sapphire, so there - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and undisputed something-or-other Pick Up The Phone Booth and Die: http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html "DRIVING DOWN HIGHWAY 40 IN MY BIG OL' PICKUP TRUUCK!" - Brak "Every day they get more violent, every day they get more nude." - Peter Cook
and I have this sharp pain in my legs, but I can't figure out why because I'm not wearing Chinos and in fact don't own any. Go figure. -- "Oh, to be in England now that April's there" --RB My opinions are not those of my employer.
In article <31953827.5FB@infusion.com>, Michael Langham <freebizLA0863516@home.entrepreneurs.net> wrote: >breeders. > >without malice. >without grief. >without anger. > >the watch ticks. This is by far the most suckass haiku I've ever read. - spatch, the term 'suckass' is copyright (c) 1996 Abe Smith and was used extensively by him this evening, when he wasn't making jokes about sodomy with toothbrushes or something. - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and undisputed something-or-other Pick Up The Phone Booth and Die: http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html "DRIVING DOWN HIGHWAY 40 IN MY BIG OL' PICKUP TRUUCK!" - Brak "Every day they get more violent, every day they get more nude." - Peter Cook
nosmith@vassar.edu (Flapjack) wrote: >In article <4minec$8ud@arl-news-svc-4.compuserve.com> >Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@compuserve.com> writes: > [snip] >> What else is there to do when you're getting a farmer's tan and >> filling up with piss and vinegar? >> > >Okay, it's just a little scary that you remember my .sig from back in >September You think that's something, watch this! >-- > _ spatula@twain.ucs.umass.edu - FBB Forklift Driver > |X| "WAITER!" --Bill (who can't remember domain names, but rarely forgets a .sig) -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Wasting hundreds of watts of electricity, _amp <AdamJ@iol.ie> broadcast to
the world:
>Tortess wrote:
>>
>> cabbage (pford@cabell.vcu.edu) wrote:
>> : June issue of "The Net" magazine, top 100, page 35.
>>
>> November 8, 1992 issue of "Rake and Sprinkler" magazine, "inside dirt"
>> column, footnote, page 19.
>
>September 6, 1993 issue of PlayAscii magazine, centrefold, captioned
>"Slightly gothic V poses seductively"
February 28, 1994 issue of "Chewing", "Does Your Gum Lose Flavor?", third
column, page bottom, 6-point Times New Roman, Color #00FE03.
>-- amp: who is not available for comment
Chester - or was that #00FE04.....
---
\\\\\ Chester 'Short' Karma - New and Improved! Not as flat as ever!
\\\\\\\__o "Glad to see you're up and about, Chester" - Michael Roach
\\\\\\\'/ Soon to be vastly improved: http://www.cris.com/~fts
Only 699,999,974 more Pepsi Points 'til I get the Harrier Jet!
In a moment of sheer confusion, Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@compuserve.com>
broadcast to the world:
>nosmith@vassar.edu (Flapjack) wrote:
>>In article <4minec$8ud@arl-news-svc-4.compuserve.com>
>>Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@compuserve.com> writes:
>>
>
>[snip]
>
>>> What else is there to do when you're getting a farmer's tan and
>>> filling up with piss and vinegar?
>>>
>>
>>Okay, it's just a little scary that you remember my .sig from back in
>>September
>
>You think that's something, watch this!
>
>>--
>> _ spatula@twain.ucs.umass.edu - FBB Forklift Driver
>> |X| "WAITER!"
FORKLIFT DRIVER!?!?!?!
_Amp! I think we've found the culprit behind this madness!
---
\\\\\ Chester 'Short' Karma - New and Improved! Not as flat as ever!
\\\\\\\__o "Glad to see you're up and about, Chester" - Michael Roach
\\\\\\\'/ Soon to be vastly improved: http://www.cris.com/~fts
Only 699,999,974 more Pepsi Points 'til I get the Harrier Jet!
In a moment of sheer confusion, _amp <AdamJ@iol.ie> broadcast to the world:
>Chester 'Short' Karma wrote:
>>
>> In a moment of sheer confusion, _amp <AdamJ@iol.ie> broadcast to the world:
>>
>> >Bill Wilkinson wrote:
>> >>
>> >> _amp <AdamJ@iol.ie> wrote:
>> >> >Chester 'Flat' Karma wrote:
>> >> >>
>> >> >> In a moment of sheer confusion, Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM>
>> >> >> broadcast to the world:
>> >> >>
>> >> >> >_amp <AdamJ@iol.ie> wrote:
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> >:Chester 'Flat' Karma wrote:
>> >> >> >:>
>> >> >> >:> On Mon, 22 Apr 1996 23:23:17 GMT, mikroa@ix.netcom.com (Michael Roach)
>> >> >> >:> wrote:
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> >[snip]
>> >> >> >
>> >
>> >[and again..snip]
>> >
>
>[once again..snerrrip]
[alt.snip.snip.snip]
>> Better give em back... someone's gonna be mad (like having the illuminati
>> mad isn't bad enough)
>
>Sometimes you just gotta live on the wild side(tm) Clique's R Us Ltd
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
You mispelled "and meow MEOW BACON baby MEOW!".
Hope this heals.
>> >-- amp: ..to find the backslash key.
>>
>> It looks just like the frontslash key to dyslexics.
>>
>> (BTW, I really liked "Siant I N3KK1D G1F5!@#!!!#!")
>
>shhh!! don't mention the..err.. merchandise
Next on Home Shopping Network, we have the *hmmppppglphf*
(Sorry.)
>> ---
>> \\\\\ Chester 'Short' Karma - New and Improved! Not as flat as ever!
>> \\\\\\\__o "Glad to see you're up and about, Chester" - Michael Roach
>> \\\\\\\'/ Soon to be vastly improved: http://www.cris.com/~fts
>> Only 699,999,974 more Pepsi Points 'til I get the Harrier Jet!
>
>no wonder!!! they're all in your .sig!!!
You mispelled "no wonder!!! they're all in your .sig!!!"
Oh, wait a minute....
>-- amp: and just what are you doing?
*bursting into tears* I'm SORRY! I know my doctor told me not to operate
heavy machinery after taking my medication, but it's not MY fault I can't
lift my computer! Someone bolted it to the ground! ... Oh no wait, that's
me bolted to the ground. Nevermind.
> ____
> \|/ | _ \WARNING V's can seriously damage your health!! ³
>-POP- | __/Wibbles!Wobbles!Wubley!at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
> /|\ |_| v2.80 and counting. "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn
\ | / \ | / \ | / \ | / \ | /
-PLOP!- -PLOP!- -FIZZ!- -FIZZ!- -OHWHATARELIEFITIS!-
/ | \ / | \ / | \ / | \ / | \
---
\\\\\ Chester 'Short' Karma - New and Improved! Not as flat as ever!
\\\\\\\__o "Glad to see you're up and about, Chester" - Michael Roach
\\\\\\\'/ Soon to be vastly improved: http://www.cris.com/~fts
Only 699,999,974 more Pepsi Points 'til I get the Harrier Jet!
, ,
("\''/").__..--''"'_.
`9_ 9 ) `_. ( ).`-.__.`)
( Y .)' ._ ) ` `.`'_..-'
_..`--''_..-_/ /--'_.' .'
(il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
Magnus Mulqvist (elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi) wrote: : In article <4mp82g$b1g@kona.javanet.com> spatula@kona.javanet.com (tv's Spatch) writes: : >In article <4mont1$39k@newsbf02.news.aol.com>, HGLEIDT <hgleidt@aol.com> : wrote: : Dammit Burt, I didn't do very well did I? I just get carried away : sometimes, and unfortunately this is one of those times. Gravedigger 1: Hey....what's that? Gravedigger 2: Oh, that's just Magnus being carried away. Gravedigger 1: Hmm. Don't usually see them squirm like that. Gravedigger 2: Well, he's not dead. Gravedigger 1: He's not? Then what's with that skin? Gravedigger 2: How do I know. Wanna go get a pint. Gravedigger 1: All right. Ross--who's going to try to cast Mel Smith as Gravidigger 1.
In some bacon article limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) stated: >Magnus Mulqvist (elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi) wrote: >: In article <4mp82g$b1g@kona.javanet.com> spatula@kona.javanet.com (tv's Spatch) writes: >: >In article <4mont1$39k@newsbf02.news.aol.com>, HGLEIDT <hgleidt@aol.com> >: wrote: > >: Dammit Burt, I didn't do very well did I? I just get carried away >: sometimes, and unfortunately this is one of those times. > >Gravedigger 1: Hey....what's that? >Gravedigger 2: Oh, that's just Magnus being carried away. >Gravedigger 1: Hmm. Don't usually see them squirm like that. >Gravedigger 2: Well, he's not dead. >Gravedigger 1: He's not? Then what's with that skin? >Gravedigger 2: How do I know. Wanna go get a pint. >Gravedigger 1: All right. Huh? I don't get it. >Ross--who's going to try to cast Mel Smith as Gravidigger 1. No, waitaminnit, hehe, no I get it! HaHAHHAHHHAHhaha. Ha. /^JN - The Anti JN - Who just had some beers with Linus from Finland. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # Add bacon prior to use. Bail me out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
This question was put to a panel of Anti-JN's: "Is beer relevant?" Anti-JN 1: Yes. Anti-JN 2: Absolutely. Anti-JN 3: Yup. Anti-JN 4: Wouldn't leave home without it. Anti-JN 5: With all probability: The meaning of life. Anti-JN 6: Better that cheese. /^JN - The Anti JN - Getting drunk. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # Add bacon prior to use. Bail me out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) wrote:
>In some bacon article mlbruce@course1.harvard.edu (Matt Bruce) stated:
>>--Matt
>
>Actually Matt, your name translates from Swedish to "Carp".
In these parts, Matt's name translates to "Meow."
--
Fred Bulsara
ObDennys: I might be moving to Montana soon: any towns you could recommend
with a good Dennys that would accept Dennil Floss as payment?
Magnus Mulqvist (elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi) wrote: : I'll be off line for a while, until I get my batteries recharged. : Have a fun and enjoy it! : *MM Enjoy the tropical nordic sun, Magnus. Ross--who has no idea what he's talking about.
Magnus Mulqvist (elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi) wrote: : In article <31901426.15252230@news.cris.com> fts@cris.com (Chester 'Flat' Karma) writes: : >In a moment of sheer confusion, limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) broadcast to : >the world: : >>Jezebell (jessica@cd.chalmers.se) wrote: : >>: Magnus Mulqvist wrote: : >>: > : >>: > In article <3184AEE3.52C7@iol.ie> _amp <adamj@iol.ie> writes: : >>: > >Tortess addressed the crowd: : >>: > >;> tv's Spatch (spatula@kona.javanet.com) wrote: : >>: > >;> : In article <31818bbe.6359292@news.cris.com>, : >>: > >;> : Chester Karma <fts@cris.com> wrote: : >>: > >;> : >On 22 Apr 1996 06:05:36 GMT, sdc@teleport.com () wrote: : >>: > >;> : >>Ross Garmil (limrag@bu.edu) sang: : >>: > >;> : >>: cabbage (pford@cabell.vcu.edu) wrote: : >>: > >;> : >>: : spatula@javanet.com (tv's Spatch) wrote: : >>: > >;> : >>: : >And thus did Mark Lovejoy <lovejoy@azstarnet.com> spake, : >speaking: : >>: > >;> : >>: : > : >>: > >;> : >>: : >>Revelation 22:15 Outside are the dogs and the sorcerers and : >the : >>: > >immoral : >>: > >;> : >>: : >>persons and the murderers and the idolaters, and everyone who : >loves : >>: > >and : >>: > >;> : >>: : >>practices lying. : >>: > >;> : >>: : >Revelation 22:16 And bacon. : >>: > >;> : >>: : Revelation 22:15 Long live the corn! : >>: > >;> : >>: Revolution 22:14 We'd all love to change the world. : >>: > >;> Devolution 22:13: Are we not men? : >>: > >Devaluation 22:12am 20 Million for a loaf of bread??!! : >>: > Defecation 22:11 And he said unto him: Thou shalt feel a great relief. : >>: Decapitation 22:10 Thou shalt not step in that hole, for thou mayest : >>: hurt thine neighbors head. : >>Detonation 22:09: This Gospel will self-destructeth in five seconds. : >Destination 22:08: Thou shalt walk with Spatch when thou acquirith one : >million frequently-flown-miles (FFM). : Retaliation 22:08: SOCK! Rejuvination 20:03 Yea, though I walk through the fountain of youth, I shall fear no aging, for I know that oil of olay is with me. : *MM -- who thinketh he hath stolen this idea. HEY! Oooh, you did, didn't you. Grr, that makes me mad. Why I'm so mad, I can't even sock you right now.....ooooohhhh, grrrr, Gimme that ASCII sword : *M - who thin h stol M - en this idea. keth he hat Ross--who's capable of stealing an idea or two, himself.
Tortess wrote:
>
> cabbage (pford@cabell.vcu.edu) wrote:
> : June issue of "The Net" magazine, top 100, page 35.
>
> November 8, 1992 issue of "Rake and Sprinkler" magazine, "inside dirt"
> column, footnote, page 19.
September 6, 1993 issue of PlayAscii magazine, centrefold, captioned
"Slightly gothic V poses seductively"
-- amp: who is not available for comment
____
\|/ | _ \WARNING V's can seriously damage your health!! ³
-POP- | __/Wibbles!Wobbles!Wubley!at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
/|\ |_| v2.80 and counting. "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn
Kelly Fitzpatrick (kmfitz@saba.kuentos.guam.net) wrote: : Jim Graham (graham@cyclops.iucf.indiana.edu) wrote: : : Here's my prediction: : : Atlanta will be teeming with soldierboy wannabe's, fedgoons, and : : state-sanctioned jackboots. I wouldn't be at all surprised to hear of : : some kind of terrorist act or more profitable for the feds, a THWARTED : : terrorist conspiracy. : But who'll be left to keep Westerners from shooting at cute little fuzzy : bunnies!? BUNNIES SUCK. -- Tortess. -- Gesundheit.
In some bacon article limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) stated: >Magnus Mulqvist (elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi) wrote: > >: I'll be off line for a while, until I get my batteries recharged. >: Have a fun and enjoy it! >: *MM > >Enjoy the tropical nordic sun, Magnus. Yeah, well, It aint too bad right now. I just wish the weatherman could make up his mind, one day it's sweltering hot and the next it's snowing. (Not really, but almost) >Ross--who has no idea what he's talking about. /^JN - The Anti JN - Who's a bit hung over and could do with out that sun... -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # Add bacon prior to use. Bail me out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In some bacon article tortess@panix.com (Tortess) stated: >Kelly Fitzpatrick (kmfitz@saba.kuentos.guam.net) wrote: >: Jim Graham (graham@cyclops.iucf.indiana.edu) wrote: > >: : Here's my prediction: > >: : Atlanta will be teeming with soldierboy wannabe's, fedgoons, and >: : state-sanctioned jackboots. I wouldn't be at all surprised to hear of >: : some kind of terrorist act or more profitable for the feds, a THWARTED >: : terrorist conspiracy. > >: But who'll be left to keep Westerners from shooting at cute little fuzzy >: bunnies!? > >BUNNIES SUCK. No they dont. They are fluffy small cute critters WHICH SHOULD BE EXTERMINATED AND DESTROYED AND CUT INTO TINY SMALL PIECES AND STOMPED ON AND BURNED AND RUN OVER AND HAVE TO DIE CAUSE THEY MAKE ME SNEEZE AND ... oops. Sorry for my unscheduled outburst. Time to take my medicinal cheese. > -- Tortess. Aaaatchooo!!! >Gesundheit. Thanks. /^JN - The Anti JN - Hung over, tired and hungry. Not a good combination. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # Add bacon prior to use. Bail me out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
Chester 'Short' Karma wrote:
>
> In a moment of sheer confusion, Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@compuserve.com>
> broadcast to the world:
>
> >nosmith@vassar.edu (Flapjack) wrote:
> >>In article <4minec$8ud@arl-news-svc-4.compuserve.com>
> >>Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@compuserve.com> writes:
> >>
> >
> >[snip]
> >
> >>> What else is there to do when you're getting a farmer's tan and
> >>> filling up with piss and vinegar?
> >>>
> >>
> >>Okay, it's just a little scary that you remember my .sig from back in
> >>September
> >
> >You think that's something, watch this!
> >
> >>--
> >> _ spatula@twain.ucs.umass.edu - FBB Forklift Driver
> >> |X| "WAITER!"
>
> FORKLIFT DRIVER!?!?!?!
>
> _Amp! I think we've found the culprit behind this madness!
>
Ye gods! it's Spatch!
I can see the headlines now:
15 May 1996 ~ THE DAILY STOOPID ~ * * * *
UNDISPUTED SOMETHING-OR-OTHER INVOLVED IN .SIG SCANDAL
It was alleged today that TV's famous Spatch of Antelope
Freeway was involved in a hit-and-run scandal of epic pro
____________________ proportions. Victim Chester "Short"
| /\ | Karma said "All I saw was this fo-
| / \ | rklift with a V on top coming tow-
| / \ \ | ards me." Chester spent weeks tra-
| \ \ \ \ | pped beneath the forklift. After
| \ \ / | therapy and a session with an ascii
| \ / | rack he has now recovered and enj-
| \/ \ | oys windsurfing.
| \ | Tv's Spatch, when asked for
| \ | comment said "It couldn't been me,
| /\ | the forklift doesn't fit". However
| \ \ | our tests show that the forklift
| \/ | may have shrunk in the wash. We
|____________________| approached Mr Spatch with the
evidence to which he replied "And bacon". (Cont. p.11)
-- amp: this is amp, live from Alt.stupidty, signing off
____
\|/ | _ \WARNING V's can seriously damage your health!! ³
-POP- | __/Wibbles!Wobbles!Wubley!at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
/|\ |_| v2.80 and counting. "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn
Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@compuserve.com) wrote: : nosmith@vassar.edu (Flapjack) wrote: : >In article <4minec$8ud@arl-news-svc-4.compuserve.com> : >Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@compuserve.com> writes: : > : [snip] : >> What else is there to do when you're getting a farmer's tan and : >> filling up with piss and vinegar? : >> : > : >Okay, it's just a little scary that you remember my .sig from back in : >September : You think that's something, watch this! : >-- : > _ spatula@twain.ucs.umass.edu - FBB Forklift Driver : > |X| "WAITER!" : --Bill (who can't remember domain names, but rarely forgets a .sig) Oh, who's stealing .sigs now, eh, Mr. High and Mighty Saint Clone .Sig Stealer? Ross--who thinks he's going to call Bill that from now on, if he can remember it. -- Not Responsible!
Chester 'Short' Karma wrote:
>
> In a moment of sheer confusion, lil <ldale@nmsu.edu> broadcast to the
> world:
>
> >_amp <AdamJ@iol.ie> wrote:
> >>but I'm still typing at the same speed?
> >
> >Yeah but I'm reading you lots faster now!
>
> I'm still not understand half of what he says, but now I'm not doing it
> twice as fast!
Oh no! I never thought I'd have to use this..
__ __ __ __ __ __ _______
| | | | | | | | | | | | / ___ \
| | | | | | | | | | | | /__/ | |
| |_____| | | | | | | |_____| | / /
| _____ | | | | | | _____ | / /
| | | | | | | | | | | | |__|
| | | | | |____| | | | | | __
|__| |__| |__________| |__| |__| |__|
>
> >-lil, who has a 28.8 something or other ;)
>
> I only got a 28.7 ... I had to sell .1 to get my email address reopened.
> :(
>
Antelope Freeway - 28.6 miles
-- amp: it was a worst case scenario
____
\|/ | _ \WARNING V's can seriously damage your health!! ³
-POP- | __/Wibbles!Wobbles!Wubley!at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
/|\ |_| v2.80 and counting. "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn
Tortess (tortess@panix.com) wrote: : tv's Spatch (spatula@kona.javanet.com) wrote: : : In article <31953827.5FB@infusion.com>, : : Michael Langham <freebizLA0863516@home.entrepreneurs.net> wrote: : : >breeders. : : > : : >without malice. : : >without grief. : : >without anger. : : > : : >the watch ticks. : : This is by far the most suckass haiku I've ever read. : ^^^^^^^ : Suckath, for those playing along at home with the Sephardic version. : -- : Gesundheit. I nominate this for the best....for the most..... I nominate it for something! Ross--who liked this one.
Is there someone out there with nothing else to do who will compile statistics on what percentage of people who post to Usenet have at least one URL in their .sig as compared to those who don't? Please list by newsgroup category. Publish complete list broken down by individual newsgroups on your web page. Provide links for detailed information on newsgroups listed by subject matter and summaries. Thanks in advance. -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
In article <4ne7kj$d3m@arl-news-svc-4.compuserve.com>, Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@compuserve.com> wrote: >Is there someone out there with nothing else to do who will compile >statistics on what percentage of people who post to Usenet >have at least one URL in their .sig as compared to those who don't? >Please list by newsgroup category. Publish complete list broken >down by individual newsgroups on your web page. Provide links for >detailed information on newsgroups listed by subject matter and >summaries. You forgot to add "I need this all by Friday noon. The boss also likes it if everything is in 10-point Helvetica, so please format your findings, too." >Thanks in advance. Hope this unjustifies. -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and undisputed something-or-other Pick Up The Phone Booth and Die: http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html "DRIVING DOWN HIGHWAY 40 IN MY BIG OL' PICKUP TRUUCK!" - Brak "Every day they get more violent, every day they get more nude." - Peter Cook
After G'Kwan and the last of the telepaths defeated the shadow warriors, Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@compuserve.com> was heard to proclaim: |Is there someone out there with nothing else to do who will compile |statistics on what percentage of people who post to Usenet |have at least one URL in their .sig as compared to those who don't? |Please list by newsgroup category. Publish complete list broken |down by individual newsgroups on your web page. Provide links for |detailed information on newsgroups listed by subject matter and |summaries. If there wasn't, some college student(s) will now turn it into a research project. -- "Wherever there is belching, we'll be there! Wherever there is stupidity, we'll be there! Wherever there is candy, we'll be there!", Wacko, Yakko and Dot Warner
mikroa@ix.netcom.com (Michael Roach) wrote: >After G'Kwan and the last of the telepaths defeated the shadow warriors, >Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@compuserve.com> was heard to proclaim: > >|Is there someone out there with nothing else to do who will compile >|statistics on what percentage of people who post to Usenet >|have at least one URL in their .sig as compared to those who don't? >|Please list by newsgroup category. Publish complete list broken >|down by individual newsgroups on your web page. Provide links for >|detailed information on newsgroups listed by subject matter and >|summaries. > >If there wasn't, some college student(s) will now turn it into a >research project. It makes me proud that I may have inspired some researcher to investigate something that would have pissed off Sen. Proxmire, Spatch rest his soul. --Bill -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
In article <3197BEFA.4F1@club-internet.fr>, Yates <yates@club-internet.fr> wrote: >This is a matter of life and death. > >I need the exact description of the Great Green Pepperoni Man Costume >before tomorrow, and what his motto is. Uhm, it's a man, and it's a pepperoni, and it's green. It's also great. Hope this helps. -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and undisputed something-or-other Pick Up The Phone Booth and Die: http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html "DRIVING DOWN HIGHWAY 40 IN MY BIG OL' PICKUP TRUUCK!" - Brak "Every day they get more violent, every day they get more nude." - Peter Cook
In article <319A6104.1903@iol.ie>, amp to you buster <AdamJ@iol.ie> wrote: >Chester 'Short' Karma wrote: >> >> In a moment of sheer confusion, Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@compuserve.com> >> broadcast to the world: >> >> >nosmith@vassar.edu (Flapjack) wrote: >> >>In article <4minec$8ud@arl-news-svc-4.compuserve.com> >> >>Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@compuserve.com> writes: >> >> >> > >> >[snip] >> > >> >>> What else is there to do when you're getting a farmer's tan and >> >>> filling up with piss and vinegar? >> >>> >> >> >> >>Okay, it's just a little scary that you remember my .sig from back in >> >>September >> > >> >You think that's something, watch this! >> > >> >>-- >> >> _ spatula@twain.ucs.umass.edu - FBB Forklift Driver >> >> |X| "WAITER!" >> >> FORKLIFT DRIVER!?!?!?! >> >> _Amp! I think we've found the culprit behind this madness! >> > >Ye gods! it's Spatch! >I can see the headlines now: > > > 15 May 1996 ~ THE DAILY STOOPID ~ * * * * > > UNDISPUTED SOMETHING-OR-OTHER INVOLVED IN .SIG SCANDAL > >It was alleged today that TV's famous Spatch of Antelope >Freeway was involved in a hit-and-run scandal of epic pro > ____________________ proportions. Victim Chester "Short" >| /\ | Karma said "All I saw was this fo- >| / \ | rklift with a V on top coming tow- >| / \ \ | ards me." Chester spent weeks tra- >| \ \ \ \ | pped beneath the forklift. After >| \ \ / | therapy and a session with an ascii >| \ / | rack he has now recovered and enj- >| \/ \ | oys windsurfing. >| \ | Tv's Spatch, when asked for >| \ | comment said "It couldn't been me, >| /\ | the forklift doesn't fit". However >| \ \ | our tests show that the forklift >| \/ | may have shrunk in the wash. We >|____________________| approached Mr Spatch with the >evidence to which he replied "And bacon". (Cont. p.11) Well, it couldn't have been me. FBB meant "Future Best Brains", and the forklift driver position was totally theoretical. And seeing as how Karma was hit by an ASCII tangible forklift, not a theoretical one, I am far from blame. Besides, I can't draw ASCII to save my spatchbutt. \ | / The CLUE card I just picked out of the pile had - POP - on it. / | \ Be sure to mark that on your sheets. -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and undisputed something-or-other Pick Up The Phone Booth and Die: http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html "DRIVING DOWN HIGHWAY 40 IN MY BIG OL' PICKUP TRUUCK!" - Brak "Every day they get more violent, every day they get more nude." - Peter Cook
In article <4nebra$psj@kona.javanet.com>, spatula@kona.javanet.com says...
\ | /
>The CLUE card I just picked out of the pile had - POP - on it.
/ | \
>Be sure to mark that on your sheets.
>tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and undisputed something-or-other
[x]Mighty Stoopid Blaster
[x]ASCII Forklift
[ ]Flapjack's Butt
\ | /
[x]- POP -
/ | \
[x]SOCK!
[x]Big Frog
[ ]tv's Spatch
[x]_Amp
[x]Chester 'Short' Karma
[x]Magnus Mulqvist
[x]alt.sport.jaywalking
[x]alt.college.college-bowl
[ ]alt.stupidity
[x]talk.politics
[x]alt.big.ascii.forklifts.chester-karma.run.run.run
I think I have the answer folks...this may be a bit shocking but...look at the
card, Clue doesn't lie.
Darth Vader
In article <4n8r4d$rr3@dub-news-svc-2.compuserve.com>, Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@compuserve.com> wrote: >nosmith@vassar.edu (Flapjack) wrote: >> >>Okay, it's just a little scary that you remember my .sig from back in >>September > >You think that's something, watch this! > >>-- >> _ spatula@twain.ucs.umass.edu - FBB Forklift Driver >> |X| "WAITER!" > >--Bill (who can't remember domain names, but rarely forgets a .sig) Ok, that was September of 94, if I recall correctly. Or some time thereabouts. - spatch, scared he knows this - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and undisputed something-or-other Pick Up The Phone Booth and Die: http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html "DRIVING DOWN HIGHWAY 40 IN MY BIG OL' PICKUP TRUUCK!" - Brak "Every day they get more violent, every day they get more nude." - Peter Cook
In a moment of sheer confusion, limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) broadcast to
the world:
>tv's Spatch (spatula@kona.javanet.com) wrote:
>: In article <4nam8e$8l9@news.bu.edu>, Ross Garmil <limrag@bu.edu> wrote:
>: >tv's Spatch (spatula@kona.javanet.com) wrote:
>: >: In article <4n1klj$q3u@srvr1.engin.umich.edu>,
>: >: JeReMy SaLmOn <jdsalmon@news-server.engin.umich.edu> wrote:
>: >: >tv's Spatch (spatula@kona.javanet.com) wrote:
>: >: >
>: >: >: FIFTY DOLLA BILL! FIFTY DOLLA BILL!
>: >: >Good God. Is this a "Goonies" reference?
>: >: Yes, indeed, you get a nickel for that.
>: >Hey!
>
>: I had meant to give you a nickel at Bruegger's, but I was too busy
>: playing with that bingo marker and wishing I could take it to "Stuff"
>: magazine.
>
>Both would've been funny. Of course there most likely were many boxes full
>of free "Stuff" magazines out on the street.
Speeking of nickels, I went to McDonalds and got an Ache Deluxe (AND
BACON!) and I got an indian-head nickel as change. It was cool.
>: [snipple snapple]
>
>: THERE ARE NO BARENAKED LADIES IN THE MST3K MOVIE, AND THERE NEVER WERE!!!
>: AAAAAAAGH!!
>
>Stop it. You all make fun of me!!! Well I know what it is, you're all jealous
>YES you're jealous. While you sit here with your thunderbolts and you're
>ascii v's I went out and I saw both the BareNaked Ladies and the MST Movie
>IN THE SAME DAY!!!!
Awww... I never knew you WANTED the V... here, lemme call it up and tell
it.
*RING* "Hello, Siant V Tar The World speaking?"
"Yeah, this is Chester. Ross wants you desperately!"
"I thought he saw Barenaked Ladies and MST3k The Movie all in the same
day?"
"Yeah, but who's life is complete without ASCII art?"
"Good point. I'll head right over to his place." (click)
__ __ ____ __ __________________
\ \/ / ____ _ | |
\ / ___ __ _ | <- ROSS THIS WAY |
\/ ____ __ _ |__________________|
>And you can never take that away from me.
Good, cuz he'll be there shortly. (or is that SHE'LL be there shortly?
Anyone know whether Siant is a man's name or a woman's?)
>: - spatch, who saw mulholland falls this weekend, and it could have been a
>: whole lot better with more barenaked jennifer connelly and less
>: everything else -
>
>Exactly how much Jennifer Connelly was there?
Apparently not as much as everything else. Hope this Howls.
---
\\\\\ Chester 'Short' Karma - New and Improved! Not as flat as ever!
\\\\\\\__o "Glad to see you're up and about, Chester" - Michael Roach
\\\\\\\'/ Soon to be vastly improved: http://www.cris.com/~fts
Only 699,999,974 more Pepsi Points 'til I get the Harrier Jet!
In article <319d3942.13033473@news.cris.com>, Chester 'Short' Karma <fts@cris.com> wrote: >In a moment of sheer confusion, limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) broadcast to >the world: > >>tv's Spatch (spatula@kona.javanet.com) wrote: > __ __ ____ __ __________________ > \ \/ / ____ _ | | > \ / ___ __ _ | <- ROSS THIS WAY | > \/ ____ __ _ |__________________| It's a wacky Benny Hill chase scene! >>: - spatch, who saw mulholland falls this weekend, and it could have been a >>: whole lot better with more barenaked jennifer connelly and less >>: everything else - >> >>Exactly how much Jennifer Connelly was there? > >Apparently not as much as everything else. Hope this Howls. I believe the correct answer would be "Not enough, dammit." Although there -is- quite a lot of Jennifer Connelly around to love. - spatch, and quit pointing them bow guns at me, jen - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and undisputed something-or-other Pick Up The Phone Booth and Die: http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html "DRIVING DOWN HIGHWAY 40 IN MY BIG OL' PICKUP TRUUCK!" - Brak "Every day they get more violent, every day they get more nude." - Peter Cook
Did he go on a diet or something? He got real thin a few years back (and got some cool sunglasses). I bet he stopped eating Cheetos(tm). I bet that's what happened. -- "Oh, to be in England now that April's there" --RB My opinions are not those of my employer.
fts@cris.com (Chester 'Short' Karma) wrote: >In a moment of sheer confusion, limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) broadcast to >the world: [kaboom] > >Chester - who's getting depressed due to a lack of an official title By the Grace of Spatch, I, Bill Wilkinson, once Patron Saint of Something or Other, and now just a damned clone, grant you the title of "Chester Karma." Be proud, Chester Karma Chester Karma. --Bill (title void where prohibited in some states) -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
In article <4nlkjf$m61@arl-news-svc-5.compuserve.com>, Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@compuserve.com> wrote: >fts@cris.com (Chester 'Short' Karma) wrote: >>In a moment of sheer confusion, limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) broadcast to >>the world: > >[kaboom] > >> >>Chester - who's getting depressed due to a lack of an official title > >By the Grace of Spatch, I, Bill Wilkinson, once Patron Saint of Something >or Other, and now just a damned clone, grant you the title of >"Chester Karma." > >Be proud, Chester Karma Chester Karma. Groovy, now he can be in a Joseph Heller novel. - spatch, kinda putting himself into one of those there predicaments as he types this, you know? - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and undisputed something-or-other Pick Up The Phone Booth and Die: http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html "DRIVING DOWN HIGHWAY 40 IN MY BIG OL' PICKUP TRUUCK!" - Brak "Every day they get more violent, every day they get more nude." - Peter Cook
In a moment of sheer confusion, Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@compuserve.com>
broadcast to the world:
>>Chester - who's getting depressed due to a lack of an official title
>
>By the Grace of Spatch, I, Bill Wilkinson, once Patron Saint of Something
>or Other, and now just a damned clone, grant you the title of
>"Chester Karma."
>
>Be proud, Chester Karma Chester Karma.
WUHOO! I feel so loved! This is better than getting a million dollars for
free (Well, almost)! In fact, I think I'll celebrate! Anyone who shows up
at my house in the next 3 hours gets FREE BEER!*
>--Bill (title void where prohibited in some states)
*-Free beer void where prohibited.
---
\\\\\ Chester 'Short' Karma - New and Improved! Not as flat as ever!
\\\\\\\__o Official Chester Karma of alt.stupidity by the Grace of Spatch
\\\\\\\'/ "Glad to see you're up and about, Chester" - Michael Roach
Soon to be vastly improved: http://www.cris.com/~fts
---
\\\\\ Chester 'Short' Karma - New and Improved! Not as flat as ever!
\\\\\\\__o "Glad to see you're up and about, Chester" - Michael Roach
\\\\\\\'/ Soon to be vastly improved: http://www.cris.com/~fts
Only 699,999,974 more Pepsi Points 'til I get the Harrier Jet!
The Dark Majesty (dark.majesty@gehenna.org) wrote: : Bill Wilkinson wrote: : > : > The Dark Majesty <dark.majesty@gehenna.org> wrote: : > >Laura Zurawski <juniper@uiuc.edu> wrote: : > >> : > >> # # ###### #### # # : > >[deletia] : > > : > >Thou shalt be smitten by the Exalted forces of The Dark Majesty as part : > >of the Grand "Meow" Genocide if thou dost not desist from "meowage." : > > : > >Thus spake the Dark Majesty. : > > : > >That is all. : > > : > >-The Dark Majesty : > > : > > : > ..and bacon : > : > --Bill (who thinks that (l)Laura can say anything she damn well pleases : > in this froup) : Note that the Dark Majesty took no position on the ability of the : poster in question to say whatever she may want. : Of course, those who do "meow" will find themselves smote by the : Demonic Overlords. That was the point. : -The Dark Majesty : Shut up. Go away. You're attacking people we care about far more than meows and being more annoying than any meow ever was. I suggest that you either stop or you'll be....you'll be....well I don't know what we can do, but I'm gonna tell Spatch! Stupidian's of the froup unite! Ross--who almost forgot: SOCK!
Pi Alpha Nu <ksm3ba@m22> wrote: :my home pages have moved... the new and as yet not improved site :is now... :http://www.geocities.com/TimesSquare/2444 :Mircalla - "Mircalla's haven... the page with a cat on it" Your forwarding address will be dutifully noted. Please notify all senders of your new address. --Bill (who must not only update the clonepage links, but should add a german travelogue and a clone faq) -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
I do love my little kitty, and I'm so glad he loves me, but must he show affection by leaking from the mouth all over my arms and legs whenever he's getting a petting? -- Gesundheit.
And eighteen pence. I've checked behind the couch, no dice. Any ideas? -- Gesundheit.
. . . and every one pulled during yesterday's softball game. I never knew there were so many strands of fibrous tissue which respond to pain stimuli. -- Gesundheit.
Fred Bulsara <mercury@jazz.queencom.com> wrote: >dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) wrote: >>In some bacon article mlbruce@course1.harvard.edu (Matt Bruce) stated: > >>>--Matt >> >>Actually Matt, your name translates from Swedish to "Carp". > >In these parts, Matt's name translates to "Meow." And *that's* obscene! -lil, who had nothing better to do than to reply to this post today. Blah.
john patrick lodder (lod2@quads.uchicago.edu) wrote: : Really, I was only kidding. Easy for you to say. You still have two good eyes. And the use of both legs. And no need for a catheter. And your house hasn't been burned down. And your car wasn't towed; nor was your brother kidnapped by mobsters and sent home to your parents missing an ear. So think twice before throwing anymore paper airplanes on the bus, buddy. -- Gesundheit.
Mel Gibson (gibson@prairienet.org) wrote: : It seems there are as many as 10 million firearms in Australia, a : nation with a population of about 18 million. Australia is also : a fairly large country, with lots of sparsely copulated areas. All too true, I fear.
Brett McInnes (matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg) wrote: : Mel Gibson (gibson@prairienet.org) wrote: : : It seems there are as many as 10 million firearms in Australia, a : : nation with a population of about 18 million. Australia is also : : a fairly large country, with lots of sparsely copulated areas. : All too true, I fear. Don't you believe it. You don't get 18 million people from lots of sparsely copulated areas. -- Gesundheit.
Almost a hundred degrees outside. I suppose I could turn on the AC, but that'd be pretty stupdi. I've been waiting all winter for a cold beer on a hot day. --Bill -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
It's still a hundred degrees outside. Hey Jesper, my clone in Denver reported that you spent last Wednesday drinking beer with Linus. THE Linus??? Isn't he a little young to drink? I mean, what would Schultz think? If he heard about that. I mean. --Bill (who may eventually get rid of moose dos) -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
In article <4nndgv$9gh@nw101.infi.net>, Eric Wilson <ewilson@nr.infi.net> wrote: > > The main idea here is: You don't ask to see Ronald McDonald when you get >a bad batch of McNuggets, you head to the manager. You don't?! - spatch, so that's why i never got a refund - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and undisputed something-or-other Pick Up The Phone Booth and Die: http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html "DRIVING DOWN HIGHWAY 40 IN MY BIG OL' PICKUP TRUUCK!" - Brak "Every day they get more violent, every day they get more nude." - Peter Cook
[ Article crossposted from alt.music.barenaked-ladies ]
[ Author was Claude Sawyer ]
[ Posted on 19 May 1996 05:56:15 GMT ]
Claude Sawyer
P.S. I threw up a green dress and Steven tried to get it on, but I guess
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I've heard that Donna Karan is recalling thirty-thousand green dresses
for suspected salmonella contamination, so that sould explain your
problem.
--
Gesundheit.
In some bacon article Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@compuserve.com> stated: >It's still a hundred degrees outside. Hmm... could you ftp some of that heat to me? Our weather makes it look like it's december. >Hey Jesper, my clone in Denver reported that you spent last Wednesday >drinking beer with Linus. THE Linus??? Isn't he a little young >to drink? I mean, what would Schultz think? If he heard about that. >I mean. Yeah well, Linus has grown up now and is a big boy. It's just that he's a very good actor. And BTW, no, it wasn't _the_ Linus. I just felt important saying it. (But he was from Finland and he was called Linus) >--Bill (who may eventually get rid of moose dos) Mind you, moose bites can be real nasty. I prefer lynuks. /^JN - The Anti JN - Who had a great weekend drinking and behaving outrageously. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # Add bacon prior to use. Bail me out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
Brett McInnes (matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg) wrote: : Oz (Oz@upthorpe.demon.co.uk) wrote: : : In article <rapierbit-1805962356210001@ip31.triangle- : : park2.nc.interramp.com>, Stefan Jeglinski <rapierbit@interramp.com> : : writes : : >john baez wrote: : : > : : >> The LA Times writes (May 18th, 1996) that a newly discovered asteroid, as : : >> large as 3/4 of a mile in diameter, will pass within 1.9 million miles of : : >> the Earth on May 25th. : : > : : >Uh, I heard on CNN today that the distance will be 250,000 miles. I'm not up : : >on it at all, and CNN may have there story all wrong, but that is damn close : : >if true. : : Hang on a minute. Our local radio said 20,000 miles. Still, no point : : worrying about it if it's got our name on it. Anyway, it's early, it's : : not 2001 yet. : Hang on a minute. Our local radio said 2 inches. : Do I win? If it lands there's a good chance it will end up in the.. uhm.. water.. so we don't have to worry about it. Hey! May 25'th is when my ticket is due! This is the coolest. Antelope Asteroid 1 inch -- Steve http://warez.phantom.com keyboard failure press any key to continue
Daja says hi. Or maybe she's saying "Clean out my litter box, beeotch". I never can tell those two apart. Anyway, she says something... </L> -- ========================================================== |\/| ---- _ Laura J. Zurawski --- juniper@uiuc.edu =(--)=_____ \ http://www.uiuc.edu/ph/www/juniper c___ (______/ http://www.students.uiuc.edu/~juniper/cats/
In some bacon article sdc@teleport.com () stated: >Oh god you actually READ this? Well, it's not like I got any choice and...waitaminnit. Bye. >Steve http://warez.phantom.com >keyboard failure press any key to continue n /^JN - The Anti JN - Just bought 300 beers. It might last this month out. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # Add bacon prior to use. Bail me out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In a moment of sheer confusion, limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) broadcast to
the world:
>amp (AdamJ@iol.ie) wrote:
>: Ross Garmil wrote:
>: >
[ snipple snapple - made from the best stuff on Usenet ]
>: > : And that's what Chester means too! REMEMBER: What I mean can also be
>: > : accurately descibed as what I average. Do not confuse with what I media
>: Yes but what does it all average?
>
>3.2 kids, I believe.
Bye bye Mister Math'matics Guy,
Compared the Diameter and Parameter
And the Ratio was Pi.
Them good ol' geeks are eating Chinese and Thai,
Singing "Think this won't be proved 'till I die...
Think this won't be proved 'till I die."
[Hoping against hope to start a "songs about computation" thread]
>Maybe if you played one of them backwards.
>Or mabye if the BareNaked Ladies went to the MST movie and sat backwards?
Following in the footsteps of my estoopified collegue, I too, am going to
see Barenaked Ladies and MST3k The Movie on the same day. (Either that, or
"Mission: Impossible".. that Tom Cruise just cracks me up)
>: > : >: ;> Ross--who's a card.
>: > : ^^ ^^
>: > : | |
>: > : Lookit them faces! Looks kinda like a drama sign. One smiling, one
>: > : frowning.
>: > Hey, yeah! Cool!
>: This means/average something deep.. like when venus is in aqaurius or
>: something
>
>Or maybe they're anal probes.
"Hi! I'm Bob Vila! Would you like an anal probe?"
>Har!
Fnord.
>: > If I don't who will? I must now walk the landscape bearing socks.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
You misspelled "I must now surf the netscape wearing socks".
Hope this harmonizes.
>: name is the Big Frog when I lay my
>: shift-key upon you.
>
>Wow, thanks, #amp. That's really cool. I've never really been blasphemous
>before.
Spatulate 14:01 - Spatch called to his bacon-loving friends,
Spatulate 14:02 - "Ross Garmil is a blasphemous bastard.
Spatulate 14:03 - Just kidding."
Spatulate 14:04 - And it was good.
>: > Oh well, Happy Stuipide mailer day, evferyonde
>: IJLS "evferyonde"
>
>IJLS?
I Just Love Singing "evferyonde" ... haven't you heard that song before?
>: > : Chester - who's getting depressed due to a lack of an official title
>: >
>Oh, and here I thought you said you had a lack of an "office" title, Copy-
>Boy.
So now I'm the official Copy-Boy Chester Karma of alt.stupidity? This is
getting confusing, I think I'll just stick with being the official Chester
Karma.
---
\\\\\ Chester 'Short' Karma - New and Improved! Not as flat as ever!
\\\\\\\__o Official Chester Karma of alt.stupidity by the Grace of Spatch
\\\\\\\'/ "Glad to see you're up and about, Chester" - Michael Roach
Soon to be vastly improved: http://www.cris.com/~fts
Stupidly, Laura Zurawski <juniper@uiuc.edu> writed:
¬1. Bowl of cornflakes with 2% milk.
¬ ^
|
Fibre -----------+
\ \____________
\ \ \
¬2. Bagel, banana, nutri-grain bar, orange juice.
¬
¬
¬This is what I have eaten today. Does anyone here see ONE noxious
¬gas-producing food on that list? NO! The only possible culprit could be
¬the milk, but I'm not lactose intolerant. So WHY THE HELL do I have so
¬much wind to pass this afternoon?
Fibre has a highly gasious content especially when it comes in contact
with orange juice(which contains trace ammounts of DiHm)
As we all know Dihydrogen McMonoxide is an amazingly dangerous
substance (Calm down Ross) and when, even in trace ammounts, it comes
in contact with Fibre (or Fb) a gaseous combination is the result.
The Gummint is conducting secret trials involving hooking dozens of
people up to tanks (probably using anal probes) and feeding them this deadly
cocktail in order to supply the world with a very cheap form of fuel.
I've gotta go.. there com'#'&444 }%2$dfg
NO CARRIER BAG
____
\|/ | _ \WARNING V's can seriously damage your health!! ³
-POP- | __/Wibbles!Wobbles!Wubley!at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
/|\ |_| v2.80 and counting. "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn
So here... have a piece of pie. </L> -- ========================================================== |\/| ---- _ Laura J. Zurawski --- juniper@uiuc.edu =(--)=_____ \ http://www.uiuc.edu/ph/www/juniper c___ (______/ http://www.students.uiuc.edu/~juniper/cats/
Laura Zurawski (juniper@uiuc.edu) wrote:
: So here... have a piece of pie.
Pumpernickel would be better. {German, "pumpern"="fart"}
Did anyone ever tell you that your eyes are like holes in
blankets?
: </L>
: --
: ==========================================================
: |\/| ---- _ Laura J. Zurawski --- juniper@uiuc.edu
: =(--)=_____ \ http://www.uiuc.edu/ph/www/juniper
: c___ (______/ http://www.students.uiuc.edu/~juniper/cats/
In a moment of sheer confusion, limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) broadcast to
the world:
>Mr. Play-A-Day (wayne26@epix.net) wrote:
>
>: Clerk: You can run, but you cannot hide! You will be back!
>
>Indeed we will.
>
>Thank you, Mr. Play-A-Day.
>
>Brawk Brawk.
>
>Ross--who forgot to try and write one.
I forgot to try and write em too. Well, not that I forgot, just that I had
this terrible case of menial block, and couldn't think. Or break wind, even
after trying the (l)Laura breakfast routine.
(BTW: Am I the only one who's noticed the last three PADs are reruns? Did I
miss the season finale?)
---
\\\\\ Chester 'Short' Karma - New and Improved! Not as flat as ever!
\\\\\\\__o Official Chester Karma of alt.stupidity by the Grace of Spatch
\\\\\\\'/ "Glad to see you're up and about, Chester" - Michael Roach
Soon to be vastly improved: http://www.cris.com/~fts
sdc@teleport.com () writes: >Oh god you actually READ this? Daja? </L> -- ========================================================== |\/| ---- _ Laura J. Zurawski --- juniper@uiuc.edu =(--)=_____ \ http://www.uiuc.edu/ph/www/juniper c___ (______/ http://www.students.uiuc.edu/~juniper/cats/
Wanna know? Okay. Lisa Marie looked too much like Elvis and Michael looked too much like LaToya. cabbage: kreskin lives.
amp (adamj@iol.ie) wrote: : amp: who misses the asteroids though Always remember to 1. Not use thrust, as once moving it's hard to stop. 2. Destroy the faster moving asteroids first. Carl M Stone, in direct contact with many advanced fun concepts-NOT INSANE!'96 In fear and hot water, Man is born. -- Firesign Theatre http://nimitz.mcs.kent.edu/~cstone/ for Lolla.inf,FiresgnThtre,tapetrading,etc
She don't lie, She don't lie, She don't lie: Rogaine. -- "Oh, to be in England now that April's there" --RB My opinions are not those of my employer.
Pi Alpha Nu (ksm3ba@herts.ac.uk) wrote: : On 14 May 1996 vkhare@premier.net wrote: : > Brett McInnes (matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg) wrote: : > : : >...um, hello? I'm sorry, we were talking abut a puppet show here. : > : : >Personally I don't remember the Gospel of John mentioning puppets. : > : : >Sorry. : > No...you're getting it confused with Muppets. The Gospel of John : > spoke of the Muppets. "For God so loved the world that he gave his only : > frog (Kermit) so that Fozzy Bear may live". : But i thought Ross was the _only_ Frog!!!!!!! Or is he descended from kermit? : Mircalla Mordenheim. No no no, I'm a Big Frog. There's a difference. I'm a Big Frog. Kermit is the frog. Bob Dole is "Citizen" Dole. Cats is now and forever. Steven Seagal is hard to kill. Chevy Chase is Fletch. Frank Morgan is the wizard of Oz. Bird is the word. Ross--who thinks Mircalla has been gone too long.
Paal Ditlefsen Ekran wrote: > Is this where I can get Hamburgers with Jarlsberg-cheese? No, but you can get a cheese-burfer without cheese for next to nothin'! ...and bacon! -- Per Harald Myrvang | Ausculta mihi! Tibi dico! perm@stud.cs.uit.no | http://www.cs.uit.no/~perm/
In article <4ol3v6$g1l@teal.csn.net>, Bruce Ediger <bediger@csn.net> wrote: > >jjsims@neosoft.com (LawyerBoy 0.001) wrote: >:A guy I knew in college had a rather unhealthy attraction to NBC's Blossom - >:AKA Mayim Bialik (sp?). Any nekkid GIFs floating around? I'll bet he'd pay >:top dollar. Any passable fakes might even do the trick. GIF! GIF! GIF!!1 > >Oddly enough, or maybe through synchronicity (thank you, Sting), there >is a JPEG image in alt.binaries.pictures.celebrities right now that >purports to be a picture of a nude Ms Bialik. Theoretically, Ms Bialik's >lesbian lover became upset with Ms Bialik and gave the original photgraph >to somebody. *Snap*! Just like that, it's scanned and being used as >currency on usenet. I saw it, but the nose just covers up too much. You can't really tell if that -is- Ms. Bialik in the picture. Now the .AVI posted to alt.binaries.erotica.multimedia.celebrities, purported to be of Ms. Bialik administering head to her Blossom costar, Joey "Whoah!" Lawrence, seems to be the right thing, especially around frame 314, for those of you counting at home. Just watch how her head goes back and to the left... back and to the left ... back and to the left ... back and to the left ... Now stop that before you break your Media Player. -- hello, this is tv's Spatch, your doorman. MSTie #43790, TDC Director of Motion Picture Development, a.a-s TP Remote Squad "One's a dog, one's a cat." "You figure it out." - Frick & Frack http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html will SAVE YOUR LIFE
In article <4oisbr$376@portal.gmu.edu>, Sib Hashian <sarkis03@news.gmu.edu> wrote: >fts@cris.com (Chester 'Short' Karma) wrote: >>In a moment of sheer confusion, Sib Hashian <sarkis03@news.gmu.edu> >>broadcast to the world: >>>fts@cris.com (Chester 'Short' Karma) wrote: >>>>In a moment of sheer confusion, Sib Hashian <sarkis03@news.gmu.edu> >>>>broadcast to the world: >>>> >>>>> 1. Melissa Joan Hart >>>> >>>>Clarissa? I love that warm, pedophilic feeling I get whenever I see her. >>> >>>I'll have you know Melissa's of legal age, you old perv. ;P >> >>Actually, I type a lot older than I really am. I'm comparable in age to >>Melissa. :) I just always wanted to say "warm, pedophilic feeling" since I >>read it somewhere else. > >Okay. That's better. She gives me that warm, pedophilic feeling too, >you know. As do we all, I think. And, as I mentioned previously in alt.stupidity solely, she's like fat-free cookies for pedophiles. "I Can't Believe She's Not Jailbait!" >Read you loud and clear, Chester. Just remember: you Stupididitians (sp?) (we never can figure out how it's spelled, don't worry) >can have <mmmmm..>Jennifer Connelly</mmmmm..> as your goddess, but we get >to have <mmmmm..>Melissa Joan Hart</mmmmm..> as ours. Sounds like a done deal. Be good to her, though, and be sure to let her drive every now and then. (Every episode of 'Clarissa' I ever saw always seemed to deal with her wanting to drive or something. Of course, I've only seen about three complete episodes in my life. Go fig.) > And if you ever want >to visit her, come on over. Also invite Mr. Play-A-Day to contribute to >alt.fan.karl-malden.nose, too, because we missed him a lot. I'll give 10 nickels to any newsgroup who puts Mr. PAD in mmmmm.. tags. Rilly! - spatch, who wonders if PAD would mind being a sex symbol or something - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and undisputed something-or-other Pick Up The Phone Booth and Die: http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html "DRIVING DOWN HIGHWAY 40 IN MY BIG OL' PICKUP TRUUCK!" - Brak "Every day they get more violent, every day they get more nude." - Peter Cook
Chester 'Short' Karma wrote:
>
> In a moment of sheer confusion, amp <AdamJ@iol.ie> broadcast to the world:
>
> >Chester 'Misspell my goddamned name' Karma wrote:
> >>
> >> In a moment of sheer confusion, adamj@iol.ie (amp) broadcast to the world:
> >>
> >> >Stupidly, fts@cris.com (Chester 'Short' Karma) writed:
> >> >
> >> > [witty, irreverant banter deleted most judiciously]
> >> >
> >> >¬10. Wayne Kessler (Mr. Play-A-Day)
> >> >¬9. tortess
> >> >¬8. Flapjack
> >> >¬7. Flapjack's butt
> >> >¬6. Ross Garmil
> >> >¬5. Bill Wilkinson
> >> >¬4. (d)amp
> >> >
> >> >Cool.. does this means if I say....:
> >> >
> >> >"Chester!! jump up and down and smack <mmmmm...>Jennifer
> >> >Connelly</mmmmm..> in the face and join the Meow(fuckwit)
> >> >army!"
> >> >
> >> >...you'll do it?
> >>
> >> No, not exactly. You're not above <mmmmm..>Jennifer Connelly</mmmmm..> in
> >> the list, so you can't say that... probably couldn't if you were above
> >> either, since the only time I'd slap <mmmmm..>Jennifer Connelly</mmmmm..>
> >> would be in the throes of a sexual climax.
> >
> ><mmmmm..>mmmm..</mmmmm..>
>
> If we're going to get technical here... that line about will crash most
> JenScape browsers.
Jenscape! What does it have instead of asteroids?
> I'm gonna propose an actual <mmmmm..> tag to the HTML 3.0 specification.
> Clicking on it will link you to the <mmmmm..>Jennifer Connelly</mmmmm..>
> page.
And what a page it would be...
>
> >> (And my English teacher said I
> >> could never find a practical use for the word "throes")
> >
> >Sorry..what?, I was imagining a scenario..
>
> I imagined a scenario once. And it came true. <mmmmm..>Jennifer
> Connelly</mmmmm..> was lying on top of me for several weeks, until I was
> "rescued" (Read: given a cold shower) by a giant crane.
My V is <mmmmm..>Jennifer Connelly</mmmmm..> right? and the giant crane is
the forklift, right? So if all that's true why do I feel the urge to say:
Huh?
>
> >> >and now may I present the Top Ten things that influence me
> >> >
> >> >104566. My Brain
> >> >9. Sleep
> >> >8. <mmmmm...>Jennifer Connelly</mmmmm..>
> >> >7. Chester 'Misspell my goddamned name' Karma
> >> >6. Heiniken
> >> >5. My Stomach
> >> >4. Top Ten Lists
> >> >3. That guy at the commune I was at last year who convinced me that
> >> > he would inherit the earth and I should give him lots of cash.
> >> >2. NOOOOD GIZF!!1!!!!
> >> >1. money
> >> >
> >> >Yes, money. Send lots now and I'll be infuenced...
> >>
> >> Not as influenced as you would be if I sent <mmmmm..>Jennifer
> >> Connelly</mmmmm..> I bet.
> >
> >You are again quite correct, and hence the revised Top Ten Things that influnence
> >me:
> >
> >> >104566,324323. My Brain
> >> >9. Sleep
> >> >8. <mmmmm...>Jennifer Connelly</mmmmm..>
> >> >7. Chester 'Misspell my goddamned name' Karma
> >> >6. Heiniken
> >> >5. My Stomach
> >> >4. Top Ten Lists
> >> >3. That guy at the commune I was at last year who convinced me that
> >> > he would inherit the earth and I should give him lots of cash.
> >> >2. NOOOOD GIZF!!1!!!!
> >> >1. <mmmmm...>Jennifer Connelly</mmmmm..>
> >
> >And up 7 places it's <mmmmm...>Jennifer Connelly</mmmmm..>
>
> Let's just make it simple:
>
> 10. <mmmmm..>Jennifer Connelly</mmmmm..>
> 9. <mmmmm..>Jennifer Connelly</mmmmm..>
> 8. <mmmmm..>Jennifer Connelly</mmmmm..>
> 7. <mmmmm..>Jennifer Connelly</mmmmm..>
> 6. <mmmmm..>Jennifer Connelly</mmmmm..>
> 5. <mmmmm..>Jennifer Connelly</mmmmm..>
> 4. <mmmmm..>Jennifer Connelly</mmmmm..>
> 3. <mmmmm..>Jennifer Connelly</mmmmm..>
> 2. <mmmmm..>Jennifer Connelly</mmmmm..>
> 1. <mmmmm..>Jennifer Connelly</mmmmm..>
>
> "And remember, keep your feet on the ground, and keep reaching for
> <mmmmm..>Jennifer Connelly</mmmmm..>"
[Mental note: insert witty quote by some dead guy about reaching things]
>
> >> >(x)amp: for a limited time only
> >>
> >> I have the collector's edition of your name with Michael Jordan in front of
> >> the "amp". And it's serial number 0000001.
> >
> >Also!! get the gold plated ascii V with these quik-n-easy payments, be the envy
> >of your neighbours. Women/Men/<mmmmm...>Jennifer Connelly</mmmmm..> will love
> >you. You will gain the secrets of life, the universe and bacon.
> >
> >(Michael Jordan)amp: All major monopoly money accepted
>
> You sunk my battleship!
Can we raise the level of this thread just a bit?, oh shit I've just done
it now. Why is my mind such a sesspit of smut. Must be that new brain I
installed.
The last one burnt out when I tried to figger how to untie both shoelaces
at the same time and I was a little worried when the model number read:
Smutmaster 6900
Oh wait, no that's not right. I get those
> engaging Parker Brothers games mixed up sometimes. (It gets real
> interesting when I confuse "Candyland" and "The X-Rated Love Shack")
and then there's Twister.
>
> Chester - who wonders if others find this <mmmmm..>Jennifer
> Connelly</mmmmm..> bit as annoying as the meows yet?
Well at least we haven't started changing the subject lines yet!
-- amp: Return of The .Sig from Hell!!!
____
| _ \ http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
| __/ ³ "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn
|_|[v2.90] Join the: "Free Bill Campaign" Today!!
Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@compuserve.com> wrote: >fts@cris.com (Chester 'Short' Karma) wrote: >> >>>> Chester - who wonders if others find this <mmmmm..>Jennifer >>>> Connelly</mmmmm..> bit as annoying as the meows yet? >>> >>>Well at least we haven't started changing the subject lines yet! >> >>We're young yet. WHAT IS ALL THIS ABOUT THE DAMNED MEOWS!?! IS IT SOME KIND OF JOKE THAT YOU WONT TELL ME BECAUSE I AM SWEDISH? DAMN YOU STUPID PEOPLE ###################################################################### uff h a a k o n l u g i e s s o n uff da! lugiess@aix.telia.se da! ######################################################################
In article <31ACA41E.1A2@iol.ie>, amp <AdamJ@iol.ie> wrote: >Chester 'Short' Karma wrote: > >Jenscape! What does it have instead of asteroids? Breasts, of course. Er, bow guns. >> Let's just make it simple: >> >> 10. <mmmmm..>Jennifer Connelly</mmmmm..> >> 9. <mmmmm..>Jennifer Connelly</mmmmm..> >> 8. <mmmmm..>Jennifer Connelly</mmmmm..> >> 7. <mmmmm..>Jennifer Connelly</mmmmm..> >> 6. <mmmmm..>Jennifer Connelly</mmmmm..> >> 5. <mmmmm..>Jennifer Connelly</mmmmm..> >> 4. <mmmmm..>Jennifer Connelly</mmmmm..> >> 3. <mmmmm..>Jennifer Connelly</mmmmm..> >> 2. <mmmmm..>Jennifer Connelly</mmmmm..> >> 1. <mmmmm..>Jennifer Connelly</mmmmm..> >> >> "And remember, keep your feet on the ground, and keep reaching for >> <mmmmm..>Jennifer Connelly</mmmmm..>" Casey Kasem and <mmmmm..>Jennifer Connelly</mmmmm..>?! HELL, NO! > Oh wait, no that's not right. I get those >> engaging Parker Brothers games mixed up sometimes. (It gets real >> interesting when I confuse "Candyland" and "The X-Rated Love Shack") > >and then there's Twister. TWISTER?! I HARDLY KNOW HER!!! - spatch, who's been waiting the entire follow-up to make that joke - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and undisputed something-or-other Pick Up The Phone Booth and Die: http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html "DRIVING DOWN HIGHWAY 40 IN MY BIG OL' PICKUP TRUUCK!" - Brak "Every day they get more violent, every day they get more nude." - Peter Cook
paalde@stud.cs.uit.no (Paal Ditlefsen Ekran) wrote: :Stardate Mon, 27 May 1996 09:12:54 +0200, Per Harald Myrvang wrote in :alt.stupidity: ::> Paal Ditlefsen Ekran wrote: ::> > Stardate 24 May 1996 02:17:35 GMT, ou010776 wrote in alt.stupidity: ::> > :> Hee Hee Hee ::> > BHAW BHAW BHAW BHAW ::> Hhhhhhhhhhhhh.... *cough* hhhhhhhhhhh..... *cough, cough* :Here, have a Lutefisk. ::> Damn, I give up! :as always.. :p ::> -- ::> Per Harald Myrvang | Ausculta mihi! Tibi dico! :You typed Auzwitch wrong.. I thought he wrote "Alucard" spelled backwards. BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAH choke HAH HAH cough Haaa NO CARRIER#5*4&^@%
Paal Ditlefsen Ekran wrote: > Stardate Mon, 27 May 1996 09:12:54 +0200, Per Harald Myrvang wrote in alt.stupidity: > :> Paal Ditlefsen Ekran wrote: > :> > Stardate 24 May 1996 02:17:35 GMT, ou010776 wrote in alt.stupidity: > :> > :> Hee Hee Hee > :> > BHAW BHAW BHAW BHAW > :> Hhhhhhhhhhhhh.... *cough* hhhhhhhhhhh..... *cough, cough* > Here, have a Lutefisk. *grabs the lutefisk, eats it rather noisily, burps, then, after a swooshing sound, suddenly appears to have some kind of super inhuman voice* BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAWHAAWHAAWHAAAWHAAAAHWAAWAH! > :> Damn, I give up! > as always.. :p Oh, *whine* That's not Tru.. Oh, I give up! > :> Per Harald Myrvang | Ausculta mihi! Tibi dico! > You typed Auzwitch wrong.. No, I didn't type Auzwitch at all! > -- > ###### # ## ## ## # # # > ## ## ## # ## ## ## > ## #### ### ## ### #### ### ## ## ## ## # ## ### ### > ## ## ## ## ## ## ## ## ## ## ## ## ### ## ## # ## ## > ## ## ## ##### ## #### ##### ## ## ## ## ### ## ## # ## ## > ## ## ## ## ## # ## ## ## ### ## #### ## ## # #### > ## ## ## #### ##### #### #### ## # ## ## ## ## ## # ## Do you really get this .sig through customs? I mean, it's made out of a lot of hash, isn't it? -- Per Harald Myrvang | Ausculta mihi! Tibi dico! perm@stud.cs.uit.no | http://www.cs.uit.no/~perm/ Oh, hope this doesn't irritate you, eh?
Per Harald Myrvang <perm@stud.cs.uit.no> wrote: [click] Begging your pardon, sir--considering that I'm in Hell and all that--but I was wondering: Is "Per" a job title, or does it designate the status of a blood relative (as in "uncle"), is it a reference to a message Harald Myrvang left? Or is one of those names that means something like "shining helm" or "wish i'd been a direct descendent to wilkinson sword instead of a former saint and then a damned clone who then stumbled into hell." know whta i mean?????????????????????????????????????????????? KLONK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wxwilki wrote: > Per Harald Myrvang <perm@stud.cs.uit.no> wrote: > [click] > Begging your pardon, sir--considering that I'm in Hell and all that--but I > was > wondering: Is "Per" a job title, or does it designate the status of a > blood > relative (as in "uncle"), is it a reference to a message Harald Myrvang > left? Or is one of those names that means something like "shining > helm" or "wish i'd been a direct descendent to wilkinson sword instead > of a former saint and then a damned clone who then stumbled into > hell." > know whta i mean?????????????????????????????????????????????? Yes. > KLONK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ooops! -- Per Harald Myrvang | Ausculta mihi! Tibi dico! perm@stud.cs.uit.no | http://www.cs.uit.no/~perm/ .
I'm sorry to hear that, Spatch. I really am. But that's nothing compared to waking up and finding out that you've been cloned into aol hell. The CI$ server is down, so here I am. Come to think of it, the response time here is better than CI$ (when it's operational). But it's so alien. --Bill
In article <4o9lun$jd0@news.uit.no> paalde@stud.cs.uit.no (Paal Ditlefsen Ekran) writes: >I just want all of you guys to know that everything is going great with my >brand new Black&Decker.. I am however running out of things to drill into, and >my landlady threw me out after drilling a hole into her waterbed. Therefore I >am asking all you guys to send me wood.. wood.. loads of wood! >-- Is morning wood OK? *MM -- ouch.
In article <elvi.vtkk.v1wki.2513.003E3D9D@memo.vtkk.fi>, Magnus Mulqvist <elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi> wrote: >In article <4o9lun$jd0@news.uit.no> paalde@stud.cs.uit.no (Paal Ditlefsen Ekran) writes: > >>I just want all of you guys to know that everything is going great with my >>brand new Black&Decker.. I am however running out of things to drill into, and >>my landlady threw me out after drilling a hole into her waterbed. Therefore I >>am asking all you guys to send me wood.. wood.. loads of wood! >>-- >Is morning wood OK? Uhm, seems ok. I mean, if you want a hole drilled in your morning wood, that's your prerogative, right? Excuse me, I think I'll go cower in the corner now, shuddering in psychosomatic pain or something. -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and undisputed something-or-other Pick Up The Phone Booth and Die: http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html "DRIVING DOWN HIGHWAY 40 IN MY BIG OL' PICKUP TRUUCK!" - Brak "Every day they get more violent, every day they get more nude." - Peter Cook
In article <4ob4a2$t0p@newsbf02.news.aol.com> wxwilki@aol.com (Wxwilki) writes: >please help me >i'm stuck in aol-hell and can't get up Go down, west, west, north, west, slay gatekeeper@aol.com, up, up, up *MM
In a moment of sheer confusion, elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi (Magnus
Mulqvist) broadcast to the world:
>In article <4ob4a2$t0p@newsbf02.news.aol.com> wxwilki@aol.com (Wxwilki) writes:
>
>>please help me
>
>>i'm stuck in aol-hell and can't get up
>
>Go down,
The AOL Control Center
This is where AOL's entire network is based from. Wouldn't it be a pity if
someone were to destroy it with a sledgehammer? Bah. You can go west, in
fact, you must go west, in the hallowed tradition of AOL, you must do what
they say, there is no alternative.
>west,
Steve Case's Office
This is Steve Case's office. It looks vaguely Steve Case like.
The title deed to AOL is here.
>west,
Town Square
There is a phone booth here.
>north,
Town Circle
There is a cellular phone here.
>west,
Gatekeeper's Lair
The hated being gatekeeper@aol.com resides here, as you have determined by
the terminal labelled "Gatekeeper's". The walls are decorated with 50's
sci-fi posters, including a library of every original Star Trek episode.
gatekeeper@aol.com is sitting here, looking at N00D G1F5.
>slay gatekeeper@aol.com,
In a stunning move, you do nothing. Eventually, gatekeeper@aol.com's
behavior causes him to go blind. Blindly careening about the room, he falls
into a conveniently-placed fire pit. (Bet he's regretting putting THAT
there). The smoke escapes through a chimney above the fire pit.
>up,
In the chimney
This is the chimney that AOL built. Instead of being made of brick, it's
made of AOL disks. And here you are thinking they emit toxic fumes.
gatekeeper@aol.com's smoke floats upward.
>up,
In the other part of the chimney
This is more of the same, except it's higher up. Above you can see the
chimney damper thingy, which is closed.
gatekeeper@aol.com's smoke stays here, since the damper blocks upward.
>up
You push through the damper, opening it and causing the smoke to spread
throughout the countryside. It seeds clouds, and various warnings are
issued, thinking a massive AOL plague is going to take over the world.
Fortunately, that doesn't happen, and AOL disks rain from the sky for
years.
>*MM
There was no verb in that sentence!
---
\\\\\ Chester 'Short' Karma - New and Improved! Not as flat as ever!
\\\\\\\__o Official Chester Karma of alt.stupidity by the Grace of Spatch
\\\\\\\'/ "Glad to see you're up and about, Chester" - Michael Roach
Soon to be vastly improved: http://www.cris.com/~fts
In article <4o1mm1$qh7@news.fsu.edu> kas2928@gold (Kurt) writes: >I just want you all to know, that if I die you can eat me. Uh-huh, as if we didn't know. *MM -- waiting.
Is someone using... your hand without your knowledge?
Is your hand being monitored by someone else?
Is your mate chatting online with someone else?
Are your children chatting online with the wrong crowd?
Now , you can monitor your hand with my private collection of
penis recoders from around the world.
Also known as:Penis Grabber, Penis Logger, Penis Monitor,
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PURPOSE: Captures penisstrokes and sends & saves them to a hidden file.
Now you can keep a record of any penis activity on your
hand. Monitor your hand at home or office.
My private collection of penis recorders is yours for only $9.95.
You will receive 19 different programs on a 3 1/2 disk.
For Dos,Windows,and Mac's.(some come with actual source codes)
You'll get:Peniscopy,Penisfake,Penisread,Penistrap,Penisrec,Penislogwn(Windows),
Hackpenis,Bagpenis,Getit,Playback,Robopenis,Record,Encore,
Kcap10,Ptm229N,Qwertman,GKG,Depl,Maclife(Mac).
Magnus Mulqvist wrote: > > Is someone using... your hand without your knowledge? > Is your hand being monitored by someone else? > Is your mate chatting online with someone else? > Are your children chatting online with the wrong crowd? > > Now , you can monitor your hand with my private collection of > penis recoders from around the world. > > Also known as:Penis Grabber, Penis Logger, Penis Monitor, > Penis Recorder. > > PURPOSE: Captures penisstrokes and sends & saves them to a hidden file. > Now you can keep a record of any penis activity on your > hand. Monitor your hand at home or office. > > My private collection of penis recorders is yours for only $9.95. > > You will receive 19 different programs on a 3 1/2 disk. > For Dos,Windows,and Mac's.(some come with actual source codes) > You'll get:Peniscopy,Penisfake,Penisread,Penistrap,Penisrec,Penislogwn(Windows), > Hackpenis,Bagpenis,Getit,Playback,Robopenis,Record,Encore, > Kcap10,Ptm229N,Qwertman,GKG,Depl,Maclife(Mac). My vote for the best use of the word Penis in alt.stupidty goes to... ....Magnus -- amp: outstanding! bravo! Encore! Robopenis! ____ | _ \ http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj | __/ ³ "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn |_|[v2.90] Join the: "Free Bill Campaign" Today!!
Paal Ditlefsen Ekran writed: > > Stardate Wed, 29 May 1996 23:28:20 +0100, amp wrote in alt.stupidity: > :> Paal Ditlefsen Ekran wrote: > :> > Stardate Tue, 28 May 1996 17:46:33 GMT, Lars Pasveer wrote in alt.stupidity: > :> > :> On 26 May 1996 13:01:40 GMT, paalde@stud.cs.uit.no (Paal Ditlefsen > :> > :> Ekran) wrote: > :> > :> >Stardate Sat, 25 May 1996 02:30:29 +0200, J.A. Gutierrez wrote in alt.stupidity: > > :> > :> >:> > >I'm searching how to say "shit" in many languages... > :> > :> >:> > >At this date, I can only use my personnal knowledges : > :> > :> >:> > >french : merde > :> > :> >:> > >english : shit > :> > :> >:> > >polish : cholera > :> > :> >:> spanish : Mierda > :> > :> >Norwegian: Dritt > :> > :> Dutch: schijt > :> > You can also say, "Svenske" in Norway. They will understand what you mean. > :> In Ireland we say shite (ryhmes with light). > :> The Gaelic for it escapes me... something like amadain. > :> The phrase "Eurovision Song Contest" is quickly overtaking it though. > > Oh! Did you see the contest this year? sited in Oslo?? What do you think about > Ingvild Bryn? I did (through a drunken haze, which is the only way to watch it. In fact watching it any other way tends to cause viewers to jump up and down screaming abusive language and bang their heads against solid objects, which is a bit like a good concert only without good music or anything even vaguely resembling music in fact) Ingvild Bryn? You misspooled <mmmmm..>Ingvild Bryn</mmmmm..>? -- amp: gotta go for a Eurovision... __ __ \ \/ /³ http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj \ / "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn \/ [v2.91] Join the: "Free Bill Campaign" Today!!
tv's Spatch (spatula@kona.javanet.com) wrote: : In article <4o58cu$i1s@news.bu.edu>, Ross Garmil <limrag@bu.edu> wrote: : >Tortess (tortess@panix.com) wrote: : >: Paal Ditlefsen Ekran (paalde@stud.cs.uit.no) wrote: : > : >: The only spatula that's a broad that I can possibly think of would be : >: Spatch's sister, but I hear she's only hypothetical. : >Hey, that doesn't matter, I'm sure her parent's love her just as much as : >if she were tangible. : If they only realized she was half-existent, half-not. So far, all we've : been able to use her for is killing cats. But there's so much more you can do with her. Didn't you read the read me file? : > : >: Hope This Hypothesizes. : >Ooh, I'm gonna start me a collection of those. : >: -- Tortess, who's glad no one's collecting those. : >d'oh! : QUICK PUT IT ON YOUR WEB PAGE AND PRETEND IT'S BEEN THERE SINCE LIKE : NOVEMBER. THAT'LL TRICK TORTESS! But I don't have a web page. sniff There is a web page for my old college magazine. I could say I wrote it sophmore year (of course we're writing new stuff, too). Ready? I think it's www.cc.gatech.edu/gva/people/Phd/Noel.Rappin/GravityWeb.html If that's wrong then whatever. It'll be a shameful plug. : >: -- : >: Gesundheit. : >Is that the proper protocol? Keen! : Yes, it's the SnIFF protocol. Oh, and here I'd been following Robert's Rules. : > : >Har! : > : >Ross--who's apparently not collecting those. : You got enough of 'em. Aren't you collecting nickels, too? Well, I was, until apprently my source dried up. Ross--who never reads the read me file.
Paal Ditlefsen Ekran wrote: > Stardate Tue, 28 May 1996 02:07:37 +0100, amp wrote in alt.stupidity: > :> Per Harald Myrvang writed: > :> > amp wrote: > :> > > ..I decided to take my work underground.. > :> > > *tap* *tap* *tap* *tap* *tap* *tap* > :> > > ..to stop it falling into the wrong hands.. > :> > "What we're dealing with here is a totall lack of respect > :> > for the law!" > :> err... I'm the Firestarter umble firestarter *really cool bass thingy* > :> I'm the Firestarter umble firestarter *really cool bass thingy* > :> [repeat and mix until freshy baked] > :> A Prodigdy lyrics thread? now that is stooopid.. > I prefer; > You're no good to me - I don't need nobody - Don't need no-one - That's no good to me! I got the poison! I got the remedy! I got the something, something coremety! -- Per Harald Myrvang | Ausculta mihi! Tibi dico! perm@stud.cs.uit.no | http://www.cs.uit.no/~perm/ .
Paal Ditlefsen Ekran wrote: > > Stardate Wed, 29 May 1996 09:11:26 +0200, Per Harald Myrvang wrote in alt.stupidity: > :> Paal Ditlefsen Ekran wrote: > :> > Stardate Tue, 28 May 1996 02:07:37 +0100, amp wrote in alt.stupidity: > :> > :> Per Harald Myrvang writed: > :> > :> > amp wrote: > > :> > :> > > ..I decided to take my work underground.. > :> > :> > > *tap* *tap* *tap* *tap* *tap* *tap* > :> > :> > > ..to stop it falling into the wrong hands.. > :> > :> > "What we're dealing with here is a totall lack of respect > :> > :> > for the law!" > :> > :> err... I'm the Firestarter umble firestarter *really cool bass thingy* > :> > :> I'm the Firestarter umble firestarter *really cool bass thingy* > :> > :> [repeat and mix until freshy baked] > :> > :> A Prodigdy lyrics thread? now that is stooopid.. > :> > I prefer; > :> > You're no good to me - I don't need nobody - Don't need no-one - That's no good to me! > :> I got the poison! I got the remedy! I got the something, something > :> coremety! > Voulez-vous (ah-ha) > Take it now or leave it (ah-ha) > Now is all we get (ah-ha) > Nothing promised, no regrets > Voulez-vous (ah-ha) > Ain't no big decision (ah-ha) > You know what to do (ah-ha) > La question c'est voulez-vous > Voulez-vous... I am the assassin, with tongue forged from eloquence I am the assassin, providing your nemesis On the sacrificial altar to success, my friend Unleash a stranger from a kiss, my friend No incantations of remorse, my friend Unsheath the blade within the voice My friend, my friend, my friend, my friend I am the assassin Who decorates the scarf with the fugi knot Who camouflaged emotion in the thousand-yard stare Who gouged the notches in the family tree Who hypnotized the guilt in career rhythm trance Assassin, assassin, assassin, assassin (Assassin, my friend.) Listen as the syllables of slaughter cut with calm precision Patterned frosty phrases rape your ears and sew the ice incision Adjectives of annihilation bury the point beyond redemption Venomous verbs of ruthless candor plagiarize assassins' fervor Apocalyptic alphabet casting spell, the creed of tempered diction My friend, your friend, the assassin A friend in need, is a friend that bleeds Let bitter silence infect the wound I am the assassin, (your friend) Assassin You were a sentimental mercenary in a free-fire zone Parading a Hollywood conscience You were a fashionable objector with a uniform fetish Pavlovian slaver at the cash till ring of success A non com observer, I assassin, the collector... defector So you resigned yourself to failure, my friend And I emerged the chilling stranger, my friend To eradicate the problem, my friend Unsheath the blade within the voice Within the voice, within the voice Within the voice And what do you call assassins who accuse assassins, anyway My friend? Ooops, I meant of course: The feel of the action, is far behind... -- Per Harald Myrvang | Ausculta mihi! Tibi dico! perm@stud.cs.uit.no | http://www.cs.uit.no/~perm/
In article <31ABF83F.46A8@stud.cs.uit.no> Per Harald Myrvang <perm@stud.cs.uit.no> writes: >amp wrote: >> err... I'm the Firestarter umble firestarter *really cool bass thingy* >> I'm the Firestarter umble firestarter *really cool bass thingy* >Ahem... I am the god of hellfire, and I bring you: > Fire *duh-dah-dah-duh-dih-dih-duh-dah-etc-etc* no hope no hope A-dunk a-dunk a-dunk a-dunk a-dunk. Remember when you ran away? And I got on my knees and begged you not to leave because I knew you're sick? Huh? *MM
Magnus Mulqvist sanged:
>
> In article <31ABF83F.46A8@stud.cs.uit.no> Per Harald Myrvang <perm@stud.cs.uit.no> writes:
> >amp wrote:
>
> >> err... I'm the Firestarter umble firestarter *really cool bass thingy*
> >> I'm the Firestarter umble firestarter *really cool bass thingy*
>
> >Ahem... I am the god of hellfire, and I bring you:
> > Fire *duh-dah-dah-duh-dih-dih-duh-dah-etc-etc* no hope no hope
>
> A-dunk a-dunk a-dunk a-dunk a-dunk.
> Remember when you ran away?
> And I got on my knees and begged you
> not to leave because I knew you're sick?
AAAAARRREE you lonesome tonight
blahblahblah too tight..
are you sorry
blahblah legs apaaaaart!!!
> Huh?
>
> *MM
-- amp: anybody that knows whats going on on, please
ring the [ ] hotline and tell us.
__ __
\ \/ /³ http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
\ / "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn
\/ [v2.91] Join the: "Free Bill Campaign" Today!!
amp <AdamJ@iol.ie> wrote:
>Per Harald Myrvang bi ag caint as Latin:
>>
>> amp wrote:
>> > Haakon Lugiesson wrote:
>> > > Scripsit vir clarissimus Per Harald Myrvang <perm@stud.cs.uit.no>:
>> > > >Sort of like the difference between the catastrophical and the
>> > > >hysterical imperative?
>> > > Or the "past continually more vague condition," which is the only
>> > > construction in the entire Latin language regularly requiring the
>> > > feminitive tense of the present passive participle?
>> > Say that again in english please, I don't speak latin
>>
>> Hae hae hae! Bene, cum Latine nescias, nolo manus meas in te maculare
>>
>
>I do not! My manure is the best in the county and no! I do perform
>manicures
>
>-- amp: Ni mhaith leom nuair a bheag na daoine ag caint as Latin ach
> ta bron orm: nil a lan gaelige orm :)
"WHAT'S THAT BOY????
YASSS SIRRR!!!
You aint got no friends on your left!
Yer right!
You aint got no friends on your right!
Yer left!
Hound Dog!
POON TANG!
Hound Dog!
COON TOWN!
Hound Dog Poon Tang Coon Town!
AAARRRGGG!
It's okay. They're speaking Chinese..."
--Bill
--
Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
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paalde@stud.cs.uit.no (Paal Ditlefsen Ekran) wrote:
>Stardate 29 May 1996 22:10:26 -0400, CDuncan872 wrote in alt.stupidity:
>:> is .no in norway?
>
>nope, it is in Norway.
No, it's in Norway.
>--
> ###### # ## ## ## # # #
> ## ## ## # ## ## ##
> ## #### ### ## ### #### ### ## ## ## ## # ## ### ###
> ## ## ## ## ## ## ## ## ## ## ## ## ### ## ## # ## ##
> ## ## ## ##### ## #### ##### ## ## ## ## ### ## ## # ## ##
> ## ## ## ## ## # ## ## ## ### ## #### ## ## # ####
> ## ## ## #### ##### #### #### ## # ## ## ## ## ## # ##
> ###
>vim:noai:nosi:wm=8:tw=79:nobk
Netscape is running low on meteors. HAH!
--Bill
--
Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
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CDuncan872 wrote: > is .no in norway? No, .no spells d-o-t-space-enn-oh-arr-wee-aye-why. ..and, of course, bacon. -- Per Harald Myrvang | Ausculta mihi! Tibi dico! perm@stud.cs.uit.no | http://www.cs.uit.no/~perm/
In article <4oj02i$beb@newsbf02.news.aol.com>, CDuncan872 <cduncan872@aol.com> wrote: >is .no in norway? "norway" doesn't have a dot in it. no is in norway, but .no would be in ..norway And I put the .no in .norway! -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and undisputed something-or-other Pick Up The Phone Booth and Die: http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html "DRIVING DOWN HIGHWAY 40 IN MY BIG OL' PICKUP TRUUCK!" - Brak "Every day they get more violent, every day they get more nude." - Peter Cook
In a moment of sheer confusion, lod2@quads.uchicago.edu (john patrick
lodder) broadcast to the world:
>I have seen Woodboy and his trusty sidekick Splinter. Now I know True Fear.
I have seen the floor and the ceiling. Now I know True Yeti.
---
\\\\\ Chester 'Short' Karma - New and Improved! Not as flat as ever!
\\\\\\\__o Official Chester Karma of alt.stupidity by the Grace of Spatch
\\\\\\\'/ "Glad to see you're up and about, Chester" - Michael Roach
Soon to be vastly improved: http://www.cris.com/~fts
fts@cris.com (Chester 'Short' Karma) wrote:
>In a moment of sheer confusion, lod2@quads.uchicago.edu (john patrick
>lodder) broadcast to the world:
>
>>I have seen Woodboy and his trusty sidekick Splinter. Now I know True Fear.
>
>I have seen the floor and the ceiling. Now I know True Yeti.
I don't get it. What does this have to do with the data our group is
collecting on bigfoot sightings?
--Bill
--
Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
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How come nobody sees my posts????? Check my userid against some of Anti-JN's archives! Spatch! I'm standing in front of you! But you won't look at me or listen. Hey! How'd you just walk through me as if I were a ghost??? Tortess! You were the one that found my [ ]! Tell 'em it's me! Tortess? Tortess? Waaaahhhhh!!!!
Wxwilki wrote: > How come nobody sees my posts????? It's because you use an invisible characterset called > Check my userid against some of Anti-JN's archives! No, doesn't match... It apears that Anti-JN's archieves are just that. Archieves. They're not your userid! > Spatch! I'm standing in front of you! But you won't look at me or > listen. > Hey! How'd you just walk through me as if I were a ghost??? *giggle* You don't get it? > Tortess! You were the one that found my [ ]! Tell 'em it's me! > Tortess? Tortess? > Waaaahhhhh!!!! Oh, be quiet. You've got 999999999999 postings left before you have repented your sins and can go free! -- Per Harald Myrvang | Ausculta mihi! Tibi dico! perm@stud.cs.uit.no | http://www.cs.uit.no/~perm/
wxwilki@aol.com (Wxwilki) wrote: >Per Harald Myrvang <perm@stud.cs.uit.no> wrote: > >:Oh, be quiet. You've got 999999999999 postings left before >:you have repented your sins and can go free! > >Oh. >--Bill > 999999999998. I'll bet the last 9000000000 just fly by. Brian B.
Wxwilki wrote: > > How come nobody sees my posts????? > > Check my userid against some of Anti-JN's archives! > > Spatch! I'm standing in front of you! But you won't look at me or > listen. > Hey! How'd you just walk through me as if I were a ghost??? > > Tortess! You were the one that found my [ ]! Tell 'em it's me! > > Tortess? Tortess? > > Waaaahhhhh!!!! If you was Bill then you'd have signed you're name like this: <reconstiption> --Bill </reconstiption> Ha! your just a clone... -- amp: nobody look at my .sig ____ | _ \ http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj | __/ ³ "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn |_|[v2.90] Join the: "Free Bill Campaign" Today!!
In a moment of sheer confusion, amp <AdamJ@iol.ie> broadcast to the world:
>If you was Bill then you'd have signed you're name like this:
>
><reconstiption>
>
>--Bill
>
></reconstiption>
>
>Ha! your just a clone...
Does this mean I'm Bill?
--Bill
>-- amp: nobody look at my .sig
I'm gonna break the rules.
>____
>| _ \ http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
>| __/ ³ "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn
>|_|[v2.90] Join the: "Free Bill Campaign" Today!!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
DAMNIT! You mean my "Free Spatch Online Campaign" graphic is no good
anymore? I spent so much time on it too.. was gonna debut it along with my
new homepage design. WAAAAHHHH!
Oh, BTW, it looks like the ³ and the Giant P are conferring... that ³ keeps
edging closer and closer to it...
---
\\\\\ Chester 'Short' Karma - New and Improved! Not as flat as ever!
\\\\\\\__o Official Chester Karma of alt.stupidity by the Grace of Spatch
\\\\\\\'/ "Glad to see you're up and about, Chester" - Michael Roach
Soon to be vastly improved: http://www.cris.com/~fts
In article <31acebd7.8193860@news.cris.com>, Chester 'Short' Karma <fts@cris.com> wrote: amp sigged: >>|_|[v2.90] Join the: "Free Bill Campaign" Today!! > ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ > >DAMNIT! You mean my "Free Spatch Online Campaign" graphic is no good >anymore? I spent so much time on it too.. was gonna debut it along with my >new homepage design. WAAAAHHHH! Oh, it's OK. We can still use the FSOC stuff. I've got a small bar around here somewheres... *ponders* -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and undisputed something-or-other Pick Up The Phone Booth and Die: http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html "DRIVING DOWN HIGHWAY 40 IN MY BIG OL' PICKUP TRUUCK!" - Brak "Every day they get more violent, every day they get more nude." - Peter Cook
Per Harald Myrvang wrote:
>
> Chester 'Short' Karma wrote:
> > >____
> > >| _ \ http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
> > >| __/ ³ "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn
> > >|_|[v2.90] Join the: "Free Bill Campaign" Today!!
> > ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
> > Oh, BTW, it looks like the ³ and the Giant P are conferring... that ³ keeps
> > edging closer and closer to it...
>
> Yeah, it's what I've always said: you can't trust those small buggers!
>
Umm..aren't you the one who gave it to me?
IT'S ALL A CONSPIRACY!!
* * ABRAKEBABRA!!!
____ * /
| _ \ / p://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
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# *
____ #
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/\
/ .\ p://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
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\/ [v2.90] Join the: "Free Bill Campaign" Today!!
__ ___
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\_/[v2.90] Join the: "Free Bill Campaign" Today!!
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\_/[v2.90] Join the: "Free Bill Campaign" Today!!
___ __
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aaaaagh! it's back.
<mmmmm..>Jennifer</mmmmm..>? is that you?
-- amp: I knew that ³ was up to no good
__ __
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In a moment of sheer confusion, spatula@kona.javanet.com (tv's Spatch)
broadcast to the world:
>In article <31abc27b.6542249@news.cris.com>,
>Chester 'Short' Karma <fts@cris.com> wrote:
>>In a moment of sheer confusion, spatula@kona.javanet.com (tv's Spatch)
>>broadcast to the world:
>>>- spatch, refusing to mention jennifer connelly -
>>
>>That's ok, I'll take care of that for you:
>>
>>
>><mmmmm..>Jennifer Connelly</mmmmm..>
>
>What -is- the legal convention for this spiffy new tag? I've seen
>mmm..., mmmm.., mmmmm.. ... (those last three were an ellipsis on their
>own...)
The first time I saw it used (by amp) was with Five "M"s and Two dots. I
try to replicate that whenever possible. Most popular browsers will
support a wide number of variations however.
>>You can thank me with one of them spiffy nickles.
>
>Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?
Uhhhh.. no... it's for a friend.. yeah.. a friend named Chester... so
autograph it and address it to him. Yeah... and sign it like you've met him
before... YEAH, that would be cool... uhh, he'd think that's so cool.
---
\\\\\ Chester 'Short' Karma - New and Improved! Not as flat as ever!
\\\\\\\__o Official Chester Karma of alt.stupidity by the Grace of Spatch
\\\\\\\'/ "Glad to see you're up and about, Chester" - Michael Roach
Soon to be vastly improved: http://www.cris.com/~fts
In a moment of sheer confusion, zamboni@iglou.com (Zamboni) broadcast to
the world:
> hello. it me. Zamboni. me have birthday party today. today not my
You know, I haven't seen a Zamboni story in over a year... what a
refreshing blast from the past.
---
\\\\\ Chester 'Short' Karma - New and Improved! Not as flat as ever!
\\\\\\\__o Official Chester Karma of alt.stupidity by the Grace of Spatch
\\\\\\\'/ "Glad to see you're up and about, Chester" - Michael Roach
Soon to be vastly improved: http://www.cris.com/~fts
In article <31aceeb5.8928243@news.cris.com>, Chester 'Short' Karma <fts@cris.com> wrote: >In a moment of sheer confusion, spatula@kona.javanet.com (tv's Spatch) >broadcast to the world: > >>In article <31abc431.6980312@news.cris.com>, >>Chester 'Short' Karma <fts@cris.com> wrote: >>>In a moment of sheer confusion, zamboni@iglou.com (Zamboni) broadcast to >>>the world: >>> >>>> hello. it me. Zamboni. me have birthday party today. today not my >>> >>>You know, I haven't seen a Zamboni story in over a year... what a >>>refreshing blast from the past. >> >>Yeah, instead of Mr. Play-A-Day, here we have Mr. Tard-A-Day. > >We cater to both ends of the comic spectrum. I'm glad Zamboni isn't from AOL or else I'd have to apologize profusely to Bill again. > >>- spatch, zamboni who? - > >You don't know zamboni!? I know Zamboni. I don't know Jack. Who the fuck -is- Jack, anyway? -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and undisputed something-or-other Pick Up The Phone Booth and Die: http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html "DRIVING DOWN HIGHWAY 40 IN MY BIG OL' PICKUP TRUUCK!" - Brak "Every day they get more violent, every day they get more nude." - Peter Cook
I agree. It's really annoying to see a followup to a post
without any attributions of any kind.
--Bill (who's been to hell and back)
--
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
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matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg (Brett McInnes) wrote: >Paal Ditlefsen Ekran (paalde@stud.cs.uit.no) wrote: >: Stardate 27 May 1996 08:09:37 GMT, Brett McInnes wrote in alt.stupidity: >: :> groan > >: finally someone who talks Norwegian, say, "Gronk, gronk groan, moan, gro?" > >How many Norske kroner is this Grondlands Hvalfisch worth? Alt.for.Norge. Strange that noone has thought about that before. Is that really a newsgroup?
In article <4ol1qh$33v@news.uit.no>, Paal Ditlefsen Ekran <paalde@stud.cs.uit.no> wrote: >Stardate 29 May 1996 06:31:06 GMT, Brett McInnes wrote in alt.stupidity: >:> Paal Ditlefsen Ekran (paalde@stud.cs.uit.no) wrote: >:> : Stardate 27 May 1996 08:09:37 GMT, Brett McInnes wrote in alt.stupidity: >:> : :> groan > >:> : finally someone who talks Norwegian, say, "Gronk, gronk groan, moan, gro?" >:> How many Norske kroner is this Grondlands Hvalfisch worth? > >more than what you can offord... and besides.. > Hey you dumb fucking swede..AFFORD. AFFORD. Fucking Paalde. Lutefisk. -- Martin Hannigan (hannigan@shore.net) Public Key: finger hannigan@shore.net - .. -- .--- .- -.-. -.- ... --- -. ..-. --- -.. -.. . .-.
Wxwilki (wxwilki@aol.com) wrote: : matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg (Brett McInnes) wrote: : :Subject: I have often wondered how long a title can be. Shall we suppose : that a :title may be of arbitrary length? : :From: matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg (Brett McInnes) : :Date: 27 May 1996 08:10:32 GMT : :Message-ID: <4obo1o$j0c@nuscc.nus.sg> : :Yes. : A title should be long enough to reach the end of its allocated length. That is wisdom.
Brett McInnes (matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg) wrote: : Wxwilki (wxwilki@aol.com) wrote: : : matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg (Brett McInnes) wrote: : : :Subject: I have often wondered how long a title can be. Shall we suppose : : that a :title may be of arbitrary length? : : :From: matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg (Brett McInnes) : : :Date: 27 May 1996 08:10:32 GMT : : :Message-ID: <4obo1o$j0c@nuscc.nus.sg> : : :Yes. : : A title should be long enough to reach the end of its allocated length. : That is wisdom.
In a moment of sheer confusion, matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg (Brett McInnes)
broadcast to the world:
>Brett McInnes (matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg) wrote:
>: Wxwilki (wxwilki@aol.com) wrote:
>: : matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg (Brett McInnes) wrote:
>
>: : :Subject: I have often wondered how long a title can be. Shall we suppose
>: : that a :title may be of arbitrary length?
>: : :From: matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg (Brett McInnes)
>: : :Date: 27 May 1996 08:10:32 GMT
>: : :Message-ID: <4obo1o$j0c@nuscc.nus.sg>
>
>: : :Yes.
>
>: : A title should be long enough to reach the end of its allocated length.
>
>: That is wisdom.
Wisdom is that.
---
\\\\\ Chester 'Short' Karma - New and Improved! Not as flat as ever!
\\\\\\\__o Official Chester Karma of alt.stupidity by the Grace of Spatch
\\\\\\\'/ "Glad to see you're up and about, Chester" - Michael Roach
Soon to be vastly improved: http://www.cris.com/~fts
Brett McInnes wrote: > Yes. Apparently so. -- Per Harald Myrvang | Ausculta mihi! Tibi dico! perm@stud.cs.uit.no | http://www.cs.uit.no/~perm/
Per Harald Myrvang wrote: > > Brett McInnes wrote: > > Yes. > > Apparently so. Indeed amp: borged
amp wrote: > Per Harald Myrvang wrote: > > Brett McInnes wrote: > > > Yes. > > Apparently so. > Indeed But they don't make them like that anymore today! -- Per Harald Myrvang | Ausculta mihi! Tibi dico! perm@stud.cs.uit.no | http://www.cs.uit.no/~perm/
Magnus Mulqvist wrote: > In article <31ABFF44.E6B@stud.cs.uit.no> Per Harald Myrvang <perm@stud.cs.uit.no> writes: > >Da mihi sis bubulae frustum assae, solana tuberosa in modo Gallico > >fricta ac quassum lactatum coagulatum crassum. > *rraarghh* Sorry? > Bon appetit! Milyen utazás eshet a keresztben kettéfürészelt > csónakhoz hasonló, bizonytalan alkotmányon, amely elött kötélre > fogott szarvas vágtat? blipp blopp bleble gurp! blipp blopp bleble gurp! blipp blopp bleble gurp! blipp blopp bleble gurp! blipp blopp bleble gurp! blipp blopp bleble gurp! blipp blopp bleble gurp! blipp blopp bleble gurp! blipp blopp bleble gurp! blipp blopp bleble gurp! blipp blopp bleble gurp! blipp blopp bleble gurp! blipp blopp bleble gurp! blipp blopp bleble gurp! blipp blopp bleble gurp! > Har. Hehe! > *MM > >...ops > Oh, it's OK. Thanks! -- Per Harald Myrvang | Ausculta mihi! Tibi dico! perm@stud.cs.uit.no | http://www.cs.uit.no/~perm/
In article <31ABFF7B.107D@stud.cs.uit.no> Per Harald Myrvang <perm@stud.cs.uit.no> writes: >CDuncan872 wrote: >> What is all this about 'meow' in this area? >He doesn't know! Quickly, everybody keep quiet! >-- Yes! My lips are... ...ummm... ...sealed with a kiss. *MM -- who wishes that you all enjoy that tune the whole weekend in your head in your he-he-he-head zombie zombie zo-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-... Now I got carried away again. Funny what those oldie goldies can do to you.
Summary: Expires: References: <4obo1o$j0c@nuscc.nus.sg> <4od2lb$jue@newsbf02.news.aol.com> <4ogr1t$1se@nuscc.nus.sg> <4ogr6q$1se@nuscc.nus.sg> Sender: Followup-To: Distribution: Organization: Roritor Pharmaceutical - Makers of Stummies Keywords: Cc: In article <4ogr6q$1se@nuscc.nus.sg>, Brett McInnes <matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg> wrote: >Brett McInnes (matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg) wrote: >: Wxwilki (wxwilki@aol.com) wrote: >: : matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg (Brett McInnes) wrote: > >: : :Subject: I have often wondered how long a title can be. Shall we suppose >: : that a :title may be of arbitrary length? >: : :From: matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg (Brett McInnes) >: : :Date: 27 May 1996 08:10:32 GMT >: : :Message-ID: <4obo1o$j0c@nuscc.nus.sg> > >: : :Yes. > >: : A title should be long enough to reach the end of its allocated length. > >: That is wisdom. and bacon. - spatch, who's picking valentine cause on the morning line this guy's got him figured at five to nine - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and undisputed something-or-other Pick Up The Phone Booth and Die: http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html "DRIVING DOWN HIGHWAY 40 IN MY BIG OL' PICKUP TRUUCK!" - Brak "Every day they get more violent, every day they get more nude." - Peter Cook
In article <4oeo38$65a@newsbf02.news.aol.com> wxwilki@aol.com (Wxwilki) writes: > \|/ >-POP- Hi! > /|\ [^X] >Why me? >--Bill Why not? *MM
Wxwilki (wxwilki@aol.com) wrote: : \|/ : -POP- Hi! : /|\ : It seems that I've been cloned into aol-hell. At least for 15 hours. : The CI$ remote server is down so I was forced to try this. Oh shit man this is serious. Oh shit. Who'll feed the dam birds? : Why me? Oh yea, that's right. -- Steve http://warez.phantom.com keyboard failure press any key to continue
aardvark@bga.com (aardvark) wrote: :I still haven't gotten my cheese grater. Has anyone seen my cheese :grater? I may have to go out and buy a new one, but I think I'll wait :til I leave the country. You can't get there from here. If you make the right turn, you'll either reach the Shadows and/or alt.stupidity. otherwise... --Bill (jason, i'm here...got any job openings?)
In article <4oj3gt$cp9@newsbf02.news.aol.com>, CDuncan872 <cduncan872@aol.com> wrote: >Especiall y if they are name bulgs and insult thoe wit speach enpeduiments >call emler. huhuhuh Bill, I'm really, really, really, really sorry. - spatch, did I mention I was sorry? - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and undisputed something-or-other Pick Up The Phone Booth and Die: http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html "DRIVING DOWN HIGHWAY 40 IN MY BIG OL' PICKUP TRUUCK!" - Brak "Every day they get more violent, every day they get more nude." - Peter Cook
Bill Wilkinson is a stuppidittarian and has contributed greatly to the cause of stoopidty. Now he is in aol-hell. No human being (or clone) should have to endure this terrible torture. Write to your local representitive and demand for the release of Bill today! Do what ever you can because.. It could be you next! -- amp: on behalf of Amnesty International ____ | _ \ http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj | __/ ³ "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn |_|[v2.90] Join the: "Free Bill Campaign" Today!!
ate my last ginger cookie :-( -- "Oh, to be in England now that April's there" --RB My opinions are not those of my employer.
In article <Ds754B.KE@midway.uchicago.edu>, john patrick lodder <lod2@quads.uchicago.edu> wrote: >ate my last ginger cookie :-( That bastard. -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and undisputed something-or-other Pick Up The Phone Booth and Die: http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html "DRIVING DOWN HIGHWAY 40 IN MY BIG OL' PICKUP TRUUCK!" - Brak "Every day they get more violent, every day they get more nude." - Peter Cook
A1 Sauce is made by Nabisco but it tastes like shit on cerial even though it has raisens in it. Does Nabisco make meat? No, I aint talking about meat cerial. Yucky. -- Steve http://warez.phantom.com keyboard failure press any key to continue
Corn flakes that is. -- Steve http://warez.phantom.com keyboard failure press any key to continue
In article <31AC689E.24CB@kjashjd.no>, Someone Wiener <asdo@kjashjd.no> wrote: >Ali Hassan Elsayed wrote: >> >> hello > >get a life > >dope makes everything in life seem the same >dope makes you don't care about nothing >dope makes you forget >dope makes you dizzy >dope makes you feel like you don't know yourself >dope is not addictive > >dope damages your psyche >dope makes confusion >dope distances you from reality > >reality is hard >dope is soft > >fuck dope > >meditation is better and safer, and the opposite, it builds up >your brain and psyche instead of making chaos Geez, calm down, chaosboy. The poor guy only said "Hello", not "Hi, I'm lighting up a big ol' doob, and I'm eating some hash brownies with extra hashish oil in the chocolaty frosting, and I'm doing it all to piss you off, Someone "Partnership For a Drug-Free Lutefisk" Wiener." - spatch, who used the word 'doob' in this post merely for its funniness content, and would probably use other words in real life to describe a marijuana cigarette, or just screw the whole thing and use a water pipe instead - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and undisputed something-or-other Pick Up The Phone Booth and Die: http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html "DRIVING DOWN HIGHWAY 40 IN MY BIG OL' PICKUP TRUUCK!" - Brak "Every day they get more violent, every day they get more nude." - Peter Cook
But the Israelites didn't have the option of cosmetic surgery back then. Ya know, ya know. </L> -- ========================================================== |\/| ---- _ Laura J. Zurawski --- juniper@uiuc.edu =(--)=_____ \ http://www.uiuc.edu/ph/www/juniper c___ (______/ http://www.students.uiuc.edu/~juniper/cats/
James I. Miller wrote: > In article <31AE1942.1B4D@stud.cs.uit.no> Per Harald Myrvang <perm@stud.cs.uit.no> writes: > >From: Per Harald Myrvang <perm@stud.cs.uit.no> > >Subject: Re: things I like... > >Date: Thu, 30 May 1996 23:55:14 +0200 > >Paal Ditlefsen Ekran wrote: > >> I like Strawberries.. > >I'd like to go to Burger King to eat some Really Good Burgers. > >Like, now? > I'd like to be a fire. C001! Then we could roast chestnuts and burgers and scampi on you! -- Per Harald Myrvang | Ausculta mihi! Tibi dico! perm@stud.cs.uit.no | http://www.cs.uit.no/~perm/ Sekrit mezage to MM: Tjenare grabben! Hur maarn ni?
I'm not sure how long I'll be here, though.
--Bill
--
Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
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Bill Wilkinson wrote: > > I'm not sure how long I'll be here, though. > > --Bill > FREE BILL! FREE BILL! FREE BILL! FREE BILL! FREE BILL! FREE BILL! FREE BILL! FREE BILL! FREE BILL! FREE ... ....umm... BILL FREE! BILL FREE! BILL FREE! BILL FREE! BILL FREE! BILL FREE! BILL FREE! BILL FREE! BILL FREE! BILL FREE! -- amp: pheee..uuoo ____ | _ \ http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj | __/ ³ "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn |_|[v2.90] Join the: "Free Bill Campaign" Today!!
_amp wrote:
>Bill Wilkinson wrote:
>>
>> I'm not sure how long I'll be here, though.
>>
>> --Bill
>FREE BILL! FREE BILL! FREE BILL! FREE BILL! FREE BILL!
>FREE BILL! FREE BILL! FREE BILL! FREE BILL! FREE ...
FREE BUBBLEGUM! FREE BUBBLEGUM! FREE BUBBELGUM!
>...umm...
uhhh......
>BILL FREE! BILL FREE! BILL FREE! BILL FREE! BILL FREE!
>BILL FREE! BILL FREE! BILL FREE! BILL FREE! BILL FREE!
..AS FREEE AS THE WIND BLOWS!!!!
..As free as the glass glows,
..follow your...uhhh
FREE BUBBLEGUM!!!
--Bill
--
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
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CI$ won't allow access to it. My clone in Hell (who's
considering a web page of his own) hasn't found proof if its
existence.
So here's an alternative that I want to experiment with:
If I write a short program in JavaScript and place it on one
of my web pages, will you access it with NetScape 2.0? This is
just an experiment.
Oh. Uh, could make sure your email is enabled?
THANX!
--Bill
--
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
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Per Harald Myrvang <perm@stud.cs.uit.no> ordered:
>I think that this meddling with peoples names are horrible.
>And with such arrogance! How can one know what people have
>had the most influence in one's life, when one's life isn't
>over yet? It's a waste of, ehrm, something. And, I won't
>take it no more!
>Therefore: JUST SAY NO!
>You hear me?
YES! Command me, my lord! Hand me that knife and I'll
do thy bidding!
--Bill (who's running low on web space)
--
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
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Scene: The ghosts of Abbott and Costello working on a ghost computer. Ghost of Abbott: Now how do I telnet? Ghost of Costello: What do you want to tell Ned? Ghost of Abbott: What? I want to telnet to this directory. Ghost of Costello: Why don’t you just pick up the phone and tell Ned then? Ghost of Abbott: No no no. Not tell Ned... telnet! Telnet! Ghost of Costello: Tell Ned what? Ghost of Abbott: Look, I thought when we died and went to heaven, you would quit pestering me with these stupid word games. If I want word games, I’ll IRC! Ghost of Costello: We died? And where do you get off calling me a jerk? Ghost of Abbott: I’m not calling you a jerk... I said I was going to IRC! Ghost of Costello: Third base? Ghost of Abbott: We don’t have to do that routine anymore, Lou. People can get the text of Who’s on First from usenet. Ghost of Costello: My net? I don’t have a net? (looks around) What net? Ghost of Abbott: Don’t you know anything about the Internet? My goodness, man, haven’t you been reading the Heaven’s Edition of HotWired? Ghost of Costello: There’s a magazine here about how to steal a car? I would think that stealing a car would mean I’d be a very naughty naughty boy. And I thought naughty naughty boys went to, well...(pointing) down there. Ghost of Abbott: You know, I think Moe was right about dealing with you. (he picks up a piece of plywood and bops Costello over the head with it) Ghost of Costello: Oh yeah? Well, I think Curly had the right idea. Whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop (waiving his hand in front of Abbott’s face). VOICE OF GOD: Hey, you two knuckleheads, pipe down, will you? Ghosts of Costello, Abbott: Yes, God. Ghost of Costello: Wasn’t that voice kind of familiar? Ghost of Abbott: You know, it sounded just like Larry Fine. Ghost of Costello: Larry found what? Ghost of Abbott: Oh, don’t you start up with me again! The End Next at http://www.epix.net/~wayne26 : The Bowery Boys
In some bacon article hannigan@shore.net (Martin Hannigan) stated: >In article <4ol1qh$33v@news.uit.no>, >Paal Ditlefsen Ekran <paalde@stud.cs.uit.no> wrote: >>Stardate 29 May 1996 06:31:06 GMT, Brett McInnes wrote in alt.stupidity: >>:> Paal Ditlefsen Ekran (paalde@stud.cs.uit.no) wrote: >>:> : Stardate 27 May 1996 08:09:37 GMT, Brett McInnes wrote in alt.stupidity: >>:> : :> groan >> >>:> : finally someone who talks Norwegian, say, "Gronk, gronk groan, moan, gro?" >>:> How many Norske kroner is this Grondlands Hvalfisch worth? >> >>more than what you can offord... and besides.. > >Hey you dumb fucking swede..AFFORD. AFFORD. Fucking Paalde. Hey you dumb fucking american, check your facts! He's a dumb fucking Norwegian. _I_ am a dumb fucking Swede. >Lutefisk. /^JN - The Anti JN - No thanks, I'm driving. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # Add bacon prior to use. Bail me out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
and I'm dead. -- hello, this is tv's Spatch, your doorman. MSTie #43790, TDC Director of Motion Picture Development, a.a-s TP Remote Squad "One's a dog, one's a cat." "You figure it out." - Frick & Frack http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html will SAVE YOUR LIFE
But it smells so good! --Bill (no cloned aol sig yet...suggestions?)
and it hurts like hell. -- "Oh, to be in England now that April's there" --RB My opinions are not those of my employer.
Wxwilki wrote: > Per Harald Myrvang <perm@stud.cs.uit.no> wrote: > :Oh, be quiet. You've got 999999999999 postings left before > :you have repented your sins and can go free! > Oh. Yep, the truth is a harsh mistress. > --Bill -- Per Harald Myrvang | Ausculta mihi! Tibi dico! perm@stud.cs.uit.no | http://www.cs.uit.no/~perm/
In article <4orbsk$s19@kona.javanet.com>, tv's Spatch <spatula@kona.javanet.com> wrote: > >and I'm dead. I'm dead I'm dead I'm dead -- "Oh, to be in England now that April's there" --RB My opinions are not those of my employer.
In article <4ot4c1$16m@news.uit.no> paalde@stud.cs.uit.no (Paal Ditlefsen Ekran) writes: >There is no doubt in my mind, that enforcing homosexuality upon mankind is >the best solution to this terrible problem. >-- Let me warn you: uterus transplantation is a growing business. *MM
Real people eat Vegamite. In retrospect, though, I believe I eat neither. john. -- "Oh, to be in England now that April's there" --RB My opinions are not those of my employer.
lod2@quads.uchicago.edu (john patrick lodder) writes: >Real people eat Vegamite. In retrospect, though, I believe I eat neither. I eat marmots. Oh wait, that's Marmite, sorry. Who wants to eat beer by-products, anyway? </L> -- ========================================================== |\/| ---- _ Laura J. Zurawski --- juniper@uiuc.edu =(--)=_____ \ http://www.uiuc.edu/ph/www/juniper c___ (______/ http://www.students.uiuc.edu/~juniper/cats/
Is eating crickets raw bad? cabbage: who's just wondering if insects are considered meat.
In article <4oqh5o$avs@skol1.telia.se> Haakon Lugiesson <lugiess@aix.telia.se> writes:
>From: Haakon Lugiesson <lugiess@aix.telia.se>
>Subject: Re: And so..
>Date: 1 Jun 1996 22:45:12 GMT
>Per Harald Myrvang <perm@stud.cs.uit.no> wrote:
>>Magnus Mulqvist wrote:
>>> In article <31ABF83F.46A8@stud.cs.uit.no> Per Harald Myrvang
><perm@stud.cs.uit.no> writes:
>>> >amp wrote:
>>> >> err... I'm the Firestarter umble firestarter *really cool bass thingy*
>>> >> I'm the Firestarter umble firestarter *really cool bass thingy*
>>>
>>> >Ahem... I am the god of hellfire, and I bring you:
>>> > Fire *duh-dah-dah-duh-dih-dih-duh-dah-etc-etc* no hope no hope
>>> A-dunk a-dunk a-dunk a-dunk a-dunk.
>>
>>Hey, turn up that bass!
>>
>>> Remember when you ran away?
>>> And I got on my knees and begged you
>>> not to leave because I knew you're sick?
>>
>Who's the cat who won't cop out?
>Who knows what it's all about?
fut^fut^ fut^ yeah.....bust a move......fut^fut^fut^.......cool geetar
wa-wa riff.....fut fut fut............you say this shaft cat is a bad muh fuh?
(hush yo mouth)........
Douglas A. Schultz II
Texas Instruments Inc.
Insert Std. Disclaimer here ()
Wxwilki (wxwilki@aol.com) wrote: : But it smells so good! : --Bill (no cloned aol sig yet...suggestions?) Hi Bill. I have a suggestion. Take two big bowls of jello and suspend them with fishing line from the tree outside your balcony. between the bowls, place a pencil which has been dipped in honey and rolled in bird seed. As the birds peck at the seed-encrusted pencil, they will jostel the carefully balanced bowls of jello, and one, if not both, will eventually tip over and spill its load onto the street below. (Hopefully you can arrange it so that the jello is jostled at noon or another popular walking-around-time in your area.) The sit back and let the laughs begin! Ha, ha ha. Hope this helps. Sincerely, your pal, Tortess. -- Gesundheit.
In article <semy.3786.0010E231@msg.ti.com> semy@msg.ti.com (Douglas A. Schultz II) writes: >Wha'd I miss? Abt. 6800 meows and one PUTPBAD *MM
Douglas A. Schultz II wrote: > Wha'd I miss? Oh, nothing, Sir, Nothin'! Nothing at!! [Looks back over shoulder into alt.stupidity and shout's:] PUT OUT THAT FIRE OVER THERE, QUICK, LET THE GIRLIES OUT, THERE'S A FELLOW HERE SAYING HE'S BACK, NOW WHO IS IT, HEY! AMP! STOP THAT! YOU HEAR ME?!? [Looks back at D.A.S II again, and gives him the most incredible friendly grin] Oh, it's been the usual thing, now, why don't we go down to the nudy-bar and have a nice cup of cappuccino? I'm buying, now what about that? [Looks back into alt.stupidity again] HEY YOU FOLKS, WE GOT TIME TO CLEAN IT UP NOW AND GET THE OTHER STUFF FIXED WHILE I'M DISTRACTING `IM! GET TO IT! [To D.A.SII, while they go to that bar] Oh, what was your name again Sir? -- Per Harald Myrvang | Ausculta mihi! Tibi dico! perm@stud.cs.uit.no | http://www.cs.uit.no/~perm/
In article <4p1qta$25a@news.uit.no>, paalde@stud.cs.uit.no (Paal Ditlefsen Ekran) writes: >Stardate Mon, 3 Jun 1996 16:52:54, Douglas A. Schultz II wrote in >alt.stupidity: >:> Wha'd I miss? > >we had a garage sale here last week.. and alt.flame went up in flames.. but >nothing else besides that..now who the hell are you?? He's the .44 Magnum Doughnut, the Verbal Hydra, the Most Abusive Voice on the Net. Or something like that. Used to have a well-constructed .sig, too. Had this incredible alt.stupidity party about a year ago where I arrived too late and found everybody passed out in the birdbath in the back yard. No one's quite sure about the incident with the panties. Or are you old friends and I've just been trolled? Anyway, lessee: Spatch has his own news froup. (l)Laura's occasionally back. Stupidity legends Paal and Per are back in force. Though you may not recognise me through all the fire and brimstone, I'm one of Bill Wilkinson's clones in Hell. Probably deserved it, too. Tortess quit her fucking job then later threw her office fan out of a 22nd storey window. Keylime vanished. Papa Legba's probably in jail... [bill clone falls over, dropping two reams of dense, hand-written notes and begins snoring loudly--the notes begin to smoulder from the hot coals and are soon burning merrily]
In article <4p3ijf$l0c@newsbf02.news.aol.com> wxwilki@aol.com (Wxwilki) writes: >Papa Legba's probably in jail... I'm sorry to inform you that Papa Legba has been shot. The mean Miamese vice cops Tubbs(?) and Carter(?) did it on the aft deck of a minor steamer, and a network crew that happened to be sniffing around recorded it on videotape. The recording was broadcast on finnish MTV3 a few weeks ago. I must say that Papa Legba wasn't of this world anymore though... What astonishes me most is that it was a rerun; the incident was supposed to have been recorded in the eighties, and that makes me wonder who the heck has been impersonating Papa Legba here in a.s. *MM
In article <elvi.vtkk.v1wki.2560.00A7CE00@memo.vtkk.fi>, elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) writes: >In article <4p3ijf$l0c@newsbf02.news.aol.com> wxwilki@aol.com (Wxwilki) >writes: > >>Papa Legba's probably in jail... > >I'm sorry to inform you that Papa Legba has been shot. >The mean Miamese vice cops Tubbs(?) and Carter(?) did it >on the aft deck of a minor steamer, and a network crew that >happened to be sniffing around recorded it on videotape. The >recording was broadcast on finnish MTV3 a few weeks ago. >I must say that Papa Legba wasn't of this world anymore though... > >What astonishes me most is that it was a rerun; the incident >was supposed to have been recorded in the eighties, and that >makes me wonder who the heck has been impersonating >Papa Legba here in a.s. Keith? --Bill (who thinks it was Keith)
In article <4p80gp$an8@news.uit.no>, paalde@stud.cs.uit.no (Paal Ditlefsen Ekran) writes: >Why is it >that your lines suddenly.. i 4 br..kin.. u.p. aol --Bill
In article <4pa0n2$4gp@freenet.vcu.edu>, cabbage <pford@cabell.vcu.edu> writes: > Smells like Bean Spirit > Well, it's really peat spirits... > >cabbage: not mentioned above, but still realizes his importance in this >newsfroup. Sheesh...I'm sorry. Okay! Everybody ante up! Nosy! You hold the cash. Nosy? Nosy? Well...I tried to think of everyone I could, but I'm stupide... So here's everybody. Please don't falme me if you forgot you.. Otherwise--if you see your name (or not)--add something: --or bacon -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------- (BTW--notice how I've been cleverly cloned into several places into this post. Cool, huh?) -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------- "Eggs" Ackley: (g)Rossputin: (l)Laura Zurawski: Bill Wilkinson in Denver: Bill Wilkinson in Hell: (THAT'S ME! MEE TOO!!!!) Bill Wilkinson in Omaha: Bill Wilkinson in Similar Shadows with a different .sig: Bill Wilkinson in the Shadows: Bob Vila: Brett McInnes: Buxton the Bluuuuue Cat: cabbage: Charles Patch: Chelsea Clinton: Chester Karma Chester Karma: Flapjack: Greg Moriarty: Henrik: Jason Nafziger: Jeffery Sheidei: Jeffzilla: jgjones (when the rivers run full...): John Cormac Davis: John Patrick Lodder: Kaj Groner: Karl Robert Loeffler: Keith Glasson: Keylime: Lilia Dale: Magnus Mulqvist: Matthew McIntyre: MICHAEL PAUL: Michael Roach: Mircalla Mordenheim: Mr. Play-A-Day: mrl6a: Noah Smith: Nosy: papa legba: Paula Freeman: Per Harald Myrvang: Phil D. Ford!: Princess Whitegoat: Ross Garmil: Rune Haetta Eidhammer: Sabrina in disquise <with glasses>: sdc@teleport.com: Spatch: Steve Heckman: Suzanne Schroeder: The Anti-JN: The Mad Czech: Tortess: tv's Spatch: Vamp (or _amp, or whatever): Vehement Sack: Vikram Kumar Khare: Wayne Kessler: Yaz Pistachio: _amp (or Vamp, or whatever):
In article <31AFB3F4.5771@stud.cs.uit.no> Per Harald Myrvang <perm@stud.cs.uit.no> writes: >Magnus Mulqvist wrote: >> In article <31ABFFE5.40EC@stud.cs.uit.no> Per Harald Myrvang ><perm@stud.cs.uit.no> writes: >> >...and if we're feeling a bit guilty about it afterwards, why >> >don't we dig a grave and throw up into it? >> Pardon me if I'm stoopit, but how can we throw _up_ into >> a grave? Who, or what are we? Are we not man? >Oh, don't worry! We'll just turn off gravity for the occasion. >Or even better, we can do it here at the university, as the >student council have declared it as a gravity-free zone! ><blink>(TRUE)</blink> >> *MM -- who used the word "if" in a purely autosardonic manner. >Yes, I always meant you were a little bit... OK, now hear what this little bit wants to say to you... Don't you feel your life is fading? Can't you see that it's degrading? Don't you think it's time to jump into your grave? *MM -- who wishes to emphasize that he phrased that in the form of questions.
Magnus Mulqvist wrote: > >> *MM -- who used the word "if" in a purely autosardonic manner. > >Yes, I always meant you were a little bit... > OK, now hear what this little bit wants to say to you... WHUT? WHUT? SPEAK UP, LADDIE, WILL YOU? > Don't you feel your life is fading? Uh-huh, I'm getting really close to a quarter-century now... > Can't you see that it's degrading? Oh, my God, you're right! Look here, it's come off at the corner! And the best corner too! Damn! > Don't you think it's time to jump into your grave? Hmmmmmmm.... No, not yet. I have to dig it first, don't you agree? > *MM -- who wishes to emphasize that he phrased that in the > form of questions. So it wasn't just a bunch of suggestions? -- Per Harald Myrvang | Ausculta mihi! Tibi dico! perm@stud.cs.uit.no | http://www.cs.uit.no/~perm/
Magnus Mulqvist wrote: > In article <31B66E78.57@stud.cs.uit.no> Per Harald Myrvang <perm@stud.cs.uit.no> writes: > >Magnus Mulqvist wrote: > >> OK, now hear what this little bit wants to say to you... > >WHUT? WHUT? SPEAK UP, LADDIE, WILL YOU? > SIR YES SIR! KIPPIS SIR!! PERRRRRKELE SIR!!! WHUT? THE FINNISH? Oh, they're over there to the east. Can't miss them. They're the ones with all those saunas. > >Uh-huh, I'm getting really close to a quarter-century now... > You're looking forward to a glorious past. I'd rather be looking backwards to a glorious future! > >> Can't you see that it's degrading? > >Oh, my God, you're right! Look here, it's come off at > >the corner! And the best corner too! Damn! > Take a staple gun and fix the coroner. What? Will my hair grow back then? > >> Don't you think it's time to jump into your grave? > >Hmmmmmmm.... No, not yet. I have to dig it first, don't > >you agree? > Not necessarily. If you jump from high enough, you'll kind of > dig it as a side product of the process. Whatabout the stone? Should I kinda like use one as a parachute? > >So it wasn't just a bunch of suggestions? > Well... suit yourself! Oh, *Magnus*!! You naughty boy! -- Per Harald Myrvang | Ausculta mihi! Tibi dico! perm@stud.cs.uit.no | http://www.cs.uit.no/~perm/
Magnus Mulqvist (elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi) wrote: : In article <31ABFFE5.40EC@stud.cs.uit.no> Per Harald Myrvang <perm@stud.cs.uit.no> writes: : >Paal Ditlefsen Ekran wrote: : >> Stardate 23 May 1996 12:45:53 GMT, Kurt wrote in alt.stupidity: : Pardon me if I'm stoopit, but how can we throw _up_ into : a grave? Who, or what are we? Are we not man? ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ We are Devo! Ross--who can't get me no...satsisFACtion
Brett McInnes (matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg) wrote: : Paal Ditlefsen Ekran (paalde@stud.cs.uit.no) wrote: : : Stardate 27 May 1996 08:09:37 GMT, Brett McInnes wrote in alt.stupidity: : : :> groan : : finally someone who talks Norwegian, say, "Gronk, gronk groan, moan, gro?" : How many Norske kroner is this Grondlands Hvalfisch worth? What's that, Norwegian for "what's a henway?" -- Gesundheit.
In article <4p5cnf$1hq@nuscc.nus.sg>, Brett McInnes <matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg> wrote: >Tortess (tortess@panix.com) wrote: >: Brett McInnes (matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg) wrote: >: : Paal Ditlefsen Ekran (paalde@stud.cs.uit.no) wrote: >: : : Stardate 27 May 1996 08:09:37 GMT, Brett McInnes wrote in alt.stupidity: >: : : :> groan > >: : : finally someone who talks Norwegian, say, "Gronk, gronk groan, moan, gro?" > >: : How many Norske kroner is this Grondlands Hvalfisch worth? > >: What's that, Norwegian for "what's a henway?" > >What's a henway? A couple pounds. Thank you! Thank you! We'll be here til the 17th, and we're on to Tahoe til the 25th! Enjoy the buffet! -- hello, this is tv's Spatch, your doorman. MSTie #43790, TDC Director of Motion Picture Development, a.a-s TP Remote Squad "One's a dog, one's a cat." "You figure it out." - Frick & Frack http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html will SAVE YOUR LIFE
Stupidly, limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writed: }Chester 'Short' Karma (fts@cris.com) wrote: }: In a moment of sheer confusion, spatula@kona.javanet.com (tv's Spatch) }: broadcast to the world: } }: >Chester 'Short' Karma (fts@cris.com) wrote: }: >: Who wouldn't like dead relatives? They're just like living relatives, }: >: except they don't complain when you forget a birthday or something. }: >: Although they start to stink after a couple days. }: > }: >Dead relatives are only good if they're in the ground. Otherwise they DO }: >start to stink and how! }: How? Decomposition. I bet even the GERBIL knew that... he was probably }: helping the process along and gaining valuable nutrition at the same time. }: (Does he get his USRDA of nutrients?) } }He does, but since he's so small all of them are *Less than 2% of the daily }recommended allowance. So he can't go out on Friday nights, 'cause he }doesn't have enough for popcorn at the drive-in. I had a pet Popcorn once. Didn't do much but we were happy. Then I went to the cinema AND PEOPLE WERE EATING THEM IN BUCKETS!!!! :( Trauma, thy name is...er...trauma (I think) } }: >They like to chew and to escape, and there was exposed plastic on the }: >Habitrail mid-air spinnny wheel. I had to take it away from them and I }: >lectured them very harshly. "See, we can't have nice things, can we?" }: You sound like the type of gerbil-owner who makes them sit until they eat }: the ENTIRE cardboard tube. "There are gerbils in Canada who are STARVING!" } }Well spare the cardboard tube, spoil the gerbil. Cardboard tubes and gerbils? Oh god no! my sick mind is starting to think NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! } }: >: It could happen. Especially with mighty joint. (Obscure Mel Brooks }: >: reference) }: > }: >Or a Cheech and Chong one. }: Or a Lewis and Clark one. }Or a DesiLu one. Or a Father Ted one. } }: >: Are we talking the tubes at the center of toilet paper, or the center of }: >: Paper Towels... there's a difference... }: >The toilet paper tubes are more readily available, but they're not as }: >strong as the paper towels one. }: I wonder why. Is cardboard strength a product of the strength of the paper }: it is with? Is that why the cardboard of a kleenex box is smooth on my }: nose? } }The carboard on a kleenex is smooth on your nose? Why that means you're the }chosen one! Huzzah! ALL HAIL! (no, I will fight you! back sickmind back I say!) } }: >: >Feed him to the anal probe?! }: >: Sure, why not? I mean, you hear all the time about some people putting }: >: gerbils where the sun don't shine, but you could put the shoe on the other }: >: foot and reverse it a little. }: >Well, uhm, quite. I'd rather have Richard Gere do that *obJoke*. }: <- Insert drum shot here. } }Noooo, he shot my drum!!! Speak to me, Drummy! And here at the scene of the assassination (huh huh I just said Ass twice) of Drum D Drummy. Shot down in cold blood in front of his home. Witness' claim Richard Gere was on the scene at the time of the shooting but when asked about the incident he denied it saying "It would be bad karma, man" Inside sources say that Gere had allegedly known Drummy and rumour has it that he use to have his way with an entire set of bongo's and when Drummy tried to leave he paid the consequences. This is amp live from the scene ..and bacon. } }: >: Damnit. I always get them cornfused. I obviously meant Jessica Fletcher. }: >: However "Agent Moulder" works too. And "Bill Wilkinson". }: > }: >Agent Duchovny! }: Agent .99! Erps.... }Adjacent over opposite. A Gentleman by the name of Villa } }: >: >Skeery, wot. }: >: Biddily biddily bang! }: >Typiddily wypiddily doo! }: Hickory dickory dock! }Snap, crackled, pop. Get UP! get on UP, get on the SCENE, get on UP. } }: (Figured I'd go for the obvious) }(Figred I'd go for the Krispies) (Fligrad I'd go for the HA!! SHAKE IT UP NOW) } }: Chester - anyone else can jump in on this thread... anytime... }Ross--who has now...twice... amp: who's just jumping, jumping, jumping. __ __ \ \/ /³¬ http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj \ / "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn \/ [v2.91] "free the friendship seven" - Bill
Paal Ditlefsen Ekran wrote: > > Stardate Sat, 01 Jun 1996 20:54:12 GMT, Otto J. Makela wrote in alt.stupidity: > :> I'm a bastard > > We know. > We know. > We know. > We know. > We know. > We know. > We know. > We know. > We know. > We know. > We know. > We know. > We know. > We know. > We know. > We know. > We know. > We know. > We know. > We know. > We know. > We know. > We know. > We know. > We know. > We know. > We know. > We know. > We know. > We know. > We know. > We know. > We know. > We know. > We know. > We know. > We know. > We know. > We know. > We know. > We know. > We know. > We know. > We know. > We know. That reminds me, just where is Jorn? -- Per Harald Myrvang | Ausculta mihi! Tibi dico! perm@stud.cs.uit.no | http://www.cs.uit.no/~perm/ asdf
john patrick lodder (lod2@quads.uchicago.edu) wrote: : and it hurts like hell. I bought this video tape called "head cleaner". But it doesn't work.
In article <4p04p1$7ih@nuscc.nus.sg> matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg (Brett McInnes) writes: >john patrick lodder (lod2@quads.uchicago.edu) wrote: >: and it hurts like hell. >I bought this video tape called "head cleaner". >But it doesn't work. Spin your head 3000 r/min and it works fine. *MM
>lod2@quads.uchicago.edu (john patrick lodder) wrote: >and it hurts like hell. Well, that sucks. cabbage: One...two....three.....PUUUUUUULLLLL! Damn, that's stuck there pretty good, John.
Brett McInnes wrote: > Per Harald Myrvang (perm@stud.cs.uit.no) wrote: > : cabbage wrote: > : > Is eating crickets raw bad? > : Yes! The crickets are very intelligent, loving and caring insects. > : They have a highly structured society, and even knows how to > : utilitize simple tools, such as spatulas (!), ovens and spammers. > : It would be a horrible crime if a cricket was to be killed by > : a human being! > I don't give the proverbial rat's ass. What is it that you don't give the proverbial rat's ass? Come on, tell us! Now we're curious! -- Per Harald Myrvang | Ausculta mihi! Tibi dico! perm@stud.cs.uit.no | http://www.cs.uit.no/~perm/
matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg (Brett McInnes) writes: > Tortess (tortess@panix.com) wrote: > : : Brett McInnes (matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg) wrote: > : : : Lisa Pickersgill (lisapick@pacific.net.sg) wrote: > : : : > : : : : i'm a crazy australian journalist working for a finance magazine. I need > : : : : to know how your mind ticks. But don't go crazy, all i want to know is > : : : : your relationship with money. I want to know what are those questions > : : : : you've always wanted answered about your financial situation. Or any > : : : : questions about money, for that matter. > : : : > : : : What is the currency of Turkmenistan? > > : The menses. Economy's a bloody wreck as a result. > > How many menses in a US dollar? Depends on the time of the month. > : "What happens when you stomp on a Singaporean foot?" > > They go out and buy a better one. Provided of course you bid for a COE.
Robert Hsu (scthsup@kraken.itc.gu.edu.au) wrote:
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: GOD bless all my countryfellows !!!!!
That is wisdom.
Stupidly, tortess@panix.com (Tortess) writed:
^^^^^
I wish I had a server called "panix" it'd be
an endless source of mirth:
"Don't panix, the servers down!"
"Panixstations, red alert!"
err.. maybe not totally endless..
}Lee Boon Guan (gbl@moe.ac.sg) wrote:
}: Brett McInnes (matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg) wrote:
}
}: ["wisdom" deleted]
}
}: : That is wisdom.
}
}: Actually it makes for amusing reading if you can display and
}: understand the Chinese words.
}
}It was pretty amusing as is.
¥
HAR! It's an anal probe!!
amp: who's happy, happy, happy!!
__ __
\ \/ /³¬ http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
\ / "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn
\/ [v2.91] "free the friendship seven" - Bill
paalde@stud.cs.uit.no (Paal Ditlefsen Ekran) wrote: :Date: 2 Jun 1996 22:55:39 GMT Hey! It's something like 05 GMT here! Jeez! I haffa get up and go to work before I go to sleep! Or something like that. :Message-ID: <4ot65b$16m@news.uit.no> Is that in .norway? :I am currently sitting here behind my screen.. That glowing piece of glass? :Tired as hell, but I can't go to sleep.. I can see you on the other side of the glass. You have these big bags under your eyes. :I was at sleep, but suddenly the screen started calling for me, "...drink me...eat me..." :woke me Huh? :...up and forced me to type on the keyboard.. Don't pay attention to them. They're just a pack of cards! :If anyone has similar experiences, please don't email me, because :I don't want to get more attached to this medium. "...at the wrists and ankles." "You're just in the nick of time!" "You haven't lost your delicate sense of humor, have you?" "What?" --Bill cloning around in hell... (hey, ross, you can't steal this sig because it's not really a sig! HAH!)
Wxwilki (wxwilki@aol.com) wrote: : paalde@stud.cs.uit.no (Paal Ditlefsen Ekran) wrote: : :Date: 2 Jun 1996 22:55:39 GMT : Hey! It's something like 05 GMT here! Jeez! I haffa get up and go to : work before I go to sleep! Or something like that. I'm at work, but I wanna go to sleep, does that count? : :Message-ID: <4ot65b$16m@news.uit.no> : Is that in .norway? I thought it was .new orleans : :I am currently sitting here behind my screen.. : That glowing piece of glass? No, the other one. : :Tired as hell, but I can't go to sleep.. : I can see you on the other side of the glass. You have these big bags : under your eyes. That's because I'm going away this weekend. : :I was at sleep, but suddenly the screen started calling for me, : "...drink me...eat me..." "see me...touch me...feel me...heal me" : :woke me : Huh? Har? : :...up and forced me to type on the keyboard.. : Don't pay attention to them. They're just a pack of cards! Actually cards travel in decks. I learned that from National Geographic. : :If anyone has similar experiences, please don't email me, because : :I don't want to get more attached to this medium. : "...at the wrists and ankles." : "You're just in the nick of time!" : "You haven't lost your delicate sense of humor, have you?" : "What?" -Oooh ummm, which one to choose? -Ten seconds, Ross. -But they're all so good. I mean the wonderful sarcasm of the "delicate sense of humor line" and the cutting jarb of "wrists and ankles" -Ross, I need your answer. -I'll choose...um..."What?" -Oooh, no I'm sorry, the correct answer is "You're just in the nick of time!" -Awwww -Tell him what he's won, Johnny. -He won nothing, he didn't get the correct answer. *applause* : --Bill cloning around in hell... : (hey, ross, you can't steal this sig because it's not really a sig! HAH!) And why should that stop me? Ross--who has no idea what Bill's talking about. : (hey, ross, you can't steal this sig because it's not really a sig! HAH!)
Wxwilki (wxwilki@aol.com) wrote: : paalde@stud.cs.uit.no (Paal Ditlefsen Ekran) wrote: : :Q: What kind of fish do they serve in hell? : :A: Hellibut! : HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHA!!!! : Hey, waitaminute! This isn't some kind of crosspost from : alt.bigfoot, izzit? Dam aol looser! : --Bill Oh.. uh... *blush*... Hi Bill. So when you get out? Do you think they'll give you an early release if you're good? -- Steve keyboard failure press any key to continue
Laura Zurawski <juniper@uiuc.edu> wrote: :But the Israelites didn't have the option of cosmetic surgery back then. Hi, (l)Laura. This is probably off-topic from a post that's apparently about Chester Karma Chester Karma and a Giant V. I'd just thought I'd inform you that I'm Bill Wilkinson's clone in hell. Just so you can't keep your files up to date, you know. :Ya know, ya know. Yeah, you never know. --Bill (Still no .sig.)
microa@worldnet.att.net (Michael Roach) writes: >|But the Israelites didn't have the option of cosmetic surgery back then. >| >|Ya know, ya know. >Well, yes, but Chester isn't as flat as he used to be. Oh......... CHESTer, have you heard about HAIRry He just got BACK from the ARMy I hear he NOSE how to wear a rose HIP, HIP, hooray for the ARMy! And don't ever say I didn't learn nuthin' in girl scouts.. </L> -- ========================================================== |\/| ---- _ Laura J. Zurawski --- juniper@uiuc.edu =(--)=_____ \ http://www.uiuc.edu/ph/www/juniper c___ (______/ http://www.students.uiuc.edu/~juniper/cats/
Spatch told (l)Laura who sed somethig:
:>Oh.........
:>CHESTer, have you heard about HAIRry
:>He just got BACK from the ARMy
:>I hear he NOSE how to wear a rose
:>HIP, HIP, hooray for the ARMy!
:>
:>
:>And don't ever say I didn't learn nuthin' in girl scouts..
:"Don't ask, don't tell"?
:all we ever did in cub scouts was beat each other up when the
:den mother was in the kitchen pouring the bug juice. go fig.
When I was in the third grade I was beaten up by cub scouts
in the second grade. I never did appreciate the military after
that...
:BY the time WE got to WOODstock...
When I was stationed at Ft. Monmouth I met someone from
Juliard who attended Woodstock. He said it was worse
than they showed in the movie.
--
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
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In article <4pc60m$q3r$1@mhade.production.compuserve.com>, Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> wrote: >Spatch told (l)Laura who sed somethig: > >:>Oh......... >:>CHESTer, have you heard about HAIRry >:>He just got BACK from the ARMy >:>I hear he NOSE how to wear a rose >:>HIP, HIP, hooray for the ARMy! > >:all we ever did in cub scouts was beat each other up when the >:den mother was in the kitchen pouring the bug juice. go fig. > >When I was in the third grade I was beaten up by cub scouts >in the second grade. I never did appreciate the military after >that... But did you get bug juice afterwards? And did you learn how to fold the flag from cub scouts or the military? There's a biggo difference. > >:BY the time WE got to WOODstock... > >When I was stationed at Ft. Monmouth I met someone from >Juliard who attended Woodstock. He said it was worse >than they showed in the movie. Yeah. Crosby, Stills and Nash sucked even worse live than on the movie. - spatch, whose eternally-late relative missed his ride to Woodstock by 15 minutes - -- hello, this is tv's Spatch, your doorman. MSTie #43790, TDC Director of Motion Picture Development, a.a-s TP Remote Squad "One's a dog, one's a cat." "You figure it out." - Frick & Frack http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html will SAVE YOUR LIFE
In article <4pbu11$sfp@newsbf02.news.aol.com>, Wxwilki <wxwilki@aol.com> wrote: Someone else wrotewrit: >> >>Speedy Alkaseltzer committed suicide in 1977. According to the report I >>heard on SNL's weekend update, he threw himself into a glass of water >>shouting his last words, "Plop Plop Fizz Fizz, oh what a relief it is!" > >I'd heard that he was pushed in by Pop N Fresh. You'd snap, too, if everyone kept poking you in the damn belly every time they saw you. - spatch, "tee hee - GET YER DAMN HANDS OFF ME, PAL." - -- hello, this is tv's Spatch, your doorman. MSTie #43790, TDC Director of Motion Picture Development, a.a-s TP Remote Squad "One's a dog, one's a cat." "You figure it out." - Frick & Frack http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html will SAVE YOUR LIFE
In article <31b43c08.957013@netnews.worldnet.att.net> microa@worldnet.att.net (Michael Roach) writes: >It was the dawn of the Third Age of Mankind, the year the Great War came >upon us all, when j.serdy said: >|news.admin.misc? sheesh... >| >|John A. McKeon (jmckeon@interserf.net) wrote: >|: revmario <revmario@bridge.net> wrote: >|: >Rev. Jack wrote: >|: >> Previously, Eli M. Balin wrote: >|: >> : Nick S Bensema <nickb@primenet.com> wrote: >|: >> : >Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@compuserve.com> wrote: >|: >> : >>revjack@radix.net (Rev. Jack) wrote: >|: >> : >>>I don't think I know ten people. >|: >> : >>I don't think I know nine people. >|: >> : >I know exactly nine people. >|: >> : I know slightly more than nine people, but they all claim not >|: >> : to know me. >|: >FIVE GOOOLDENNN RIIIIIIIIINGS!!!!! >|: Four pounds of backbacon >| >|three, 'cause it's a magic number >2 turkeys lurking >-- 1 heaven falling *MM
In article <31b24f7a.5607952@netnews.worldnet.att.net>, microa@worldnet.att.net (Michael Roach) writes: >Usually, the voices in my head argue so I jest tell them to sod off. > Be very careful about that. Those may be your Mouth Figurines (TM) talking and they can get you into a lot of trouble. --Bill
In article <DsL9I5.Ix4@murdoch.acc.Virginia.EDU>, <Frankie Goes to Hollywood> wrote: > >IRS Agent <taxes@yourwallet.empty.gov> writes: >>Who will be Minister of Trolls? >Who will be Comptroller of Crossposts? Who is Number 2? -- hello, this is tv's Spatch, your doorman. MSTie #43790, TDC Director of Motion Picture Development, a.a-s TP Remote Squad "One's a dog, one's a cat." "You figure it out." - Frick & Frack http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html will SAVE YOUR LIFE
In article <31B6280A.4E4E@ix.netcom.com> thunderr <thunderr@ix.netcom.com> writes: >There were more Nazis in Germany then there were Jews. Yes but that relation changed dramatically during the spring of 1945. *MM
In article <4p5ciq$1hq@nuscc.nus.sg>, Brett McInnes <matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg> wrote: >: : I am a seated Saint in Santeria (Anthony)..and a powerful Santero >: : I will send you a very powerful (mind controlling) sexual powder >: : for you careful use in controlling the opposite sex.... > >: : Do not take this lightly.....Sacrificial powders were used in the >: : creation of this JU-JU... you simply place the powder on your >: : unsuspecting partner...or the door handle of the car, house, or >: : work....and you become their sexual MASTER.... >: : SEND $20 US and a Stamped Self-addressed 5x4 envelope with >: : 55cent postage to : Box 8044, St Paul, MN 55108 > >Sexual master of a car and a house? I own a mansion and a yacht. - spatch, and so far neither of 'em has come on to me - -- hello, this is tv's Spatch, your doorman. MSTie #43790, TDC Director of Motion Picture Development, a.a-s TP Remote Squad "One's a dog, one's a cat." "You figure it out." - Frick & Frack http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html will SAVE YOUR LIFE
In article <4padkt$1is@cimteg.cimtegration.com>, Bubbles <m.brownell@CIMtegration.com> wrote: >Haakon Lugiesson <lugiess@aix.telia.se> wrote: >^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ >Is this where the term "hack a lugie" came from? DONT EVER HACK A LUGIE NO MATTER WHAT YOUR FRENDS TELL YOU! I HACKED A LUGIE ONCE AND THE NEXT DAY THE FBI AND THE CIA AND THE NSA WERE AT MY DOOR AND THEY WERE PLENTY PISED!! SO DON'T DO IT OR ELSE YU'L BE SORRY! -- hello, this is tv's Spatch, your doorman. MSTie #43790, TDC Director of Motion Picture Development, a.a-s TP Remote Squad "One's a dog, one's a cat." "You figure it out." - Frick & Frack http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html will SAVE YOUR LIFE
Laura Zurawski wrote: > Someone just told me that I need more help than they do. To do what? It might be true, if you're e.g. very small, and want to reach something high on a shelf, then you may very well need more help than, say, a 3 metre tall basket-ball player. See? > What does it all mean?? "it all" means "that particular whole stuff thingy". I think. > I'm telling you, the world in conspiring against me. Are you sure you're not sligthly behind on the FairLife(tm)-payment? > The other day I pressed the button for hot cocoa on the vending machine > and it gave me coffee with cream and sugar. Really? You know, nearly the same thing happened to me just recently; I was at Burger King earlier this night, and I ordered a Cheese-Bacon-Whooper-Menu with a chocolate-shake, and do you know what? I got a strawberry-shake! Is it a coincidence or what? > What does it all mean?? I just told you above! > And just what IS the Migratory Bird Treaty Act of 1918, anyway? Isn't that the act that states that all birds entering the US of A must have a valid visa, and further: "As amended by this section, whenever in this Act an amendment or repeal is expressed in terms of section 3 of the Communications Act of 1934 (47 U.S.C. 153), Section 3 (47 U.S.C. 153) is amended: in section 332(d), by striking `section 3(n)' each place it appears and inserting `section 3'; in section 225(a)(1), by striking `section 3(h)' and inserting `section 3'; in sections 621(d)(3), 636(d), and 637(a)(2), by striking `section 3(v)' and inserting `section 3'; by redesignating subsections (a) through (ff) as paragraphs (1) through (32); in section 225(a)(1), by striking `section 3(h)' and inserting `section 3'; by reordering such paragraphs and the additional paragraphs added by subsection (a) in alphabetical order based on the headings of such paragraphs and renumbering such paragraphs as so reordered; in subsections (y) and (z), by redesignating paragraphs (1) and (2) as subparagraphs (A) and (B), respectively; and by changing the first letter of each defined term in such paragraphs from a capital to a lower case letter (except for `United States', `State', `State commission', and `Great Lakes Agreement')." > WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?????? IT IS JUST AN INCLUSIVE PRONOMEN! DON'T WORRY! NOW, RELAX, WILL YOU?!! > Daja has it good these days... the worst thing she has to worry about is > when her litter box will be cleaned next. Whatabout food then? -- Per Harald Myrvang | Ausculta mihi! Tibi dico! perm@stud.cs.uit.no | http://www.cs.uit.no/~perm/
And I should be dead. -- hello, this is tv's Spatch, your doorman. MSTie #43790, TDC Director of Motion Picture Development, a.a-s TP Remote Squad "One's a dog, one's a cat." "You figure it out." - Frick & Frack http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html will SAVE YOUR LIFE
In article <4p7j60$11k@kona.javanet.com> spatula@kona.javanet.com (tv's Spatch) writes: >Subject: Hi, I'm Courtney Love >And I should be dead. Hello, I am Joanna Lumley. Make up your mind, bloke! *MM
That's right kids! Now your own Web page can sport the spiffy new Totally Meaningless Random Award from Crappy the Homepage and baby fish mouth productions, in association with the Rip Taylor Group and your mom. Just visit www.netcom.com/~jnafz/award.html for details! Jason. ____________________ CRAPPY the HOMEPAGE: http://www.netcom.com/~jnafz/ "You can see evidence of aliens in your oatmeal, if you look with the right mindset and expectations." - Jeramie Hicks
In article <4pc69m$nb3@dfw-ixnews10.ix.netcom.com>, jnafz@ix.netcom.com (Jason Nafziger) writes: >That's right kids! Now your own Web page can sport the spiffy new >Totally Meaningless Random Award from Crappy the Homepage and baby >fish mouth productions, in association with the Rip Taylor Group and >your mom. Just visit www.netcom.com/~jnafz/award.html for details! Okay, I'll check it out. By the way, I'm in Hell. No thanks to you. --Bill
Looky, looky, wxwilki@aol.com (Wxwilki) sez: >In article <4pc69m$nb3@dfw-ixnews10.ix.netcom.com>, jnafz@ix.netcom.com >(Jason Nafziger) writes: >>That's right kids! Now your own Web page can sport the spiffy new >>Totally Meaningless Random Award from Crappy the Homepage and baby >>fish mouth productions, in association with the Rip Taylor Group and >>your mom. Just visit www.netcom.com/~jnafz/award.html for details! >Okay, I'll check it out. >By the way, I'm in Hell. No thanks to you. What can I do? I'm only Satan-- oh, wait... sorry! Jason - who just moved and now has the Cartoon Network, just in case you were wondering where I've been... ____________________ CRAPPY the HOMEPAGE: http://www.netcom.com/~jnafz/ "You can see evidence of aliens in your oatmeal, if you look with the right mindset and expectations." - Jeramie Hicks
Michael Roach wrote: > What's the best e-mauler to use with the inter net? Oh, anything that supports Intern-Et in Colours! -- Per Harald Myrvang | Ausculta mihi! Tibi dico! perm@stud.cs.uit.no | http://www.cs.uit.no/~perm/
Because of a post about bugs from cabbage, I decided to try some
escargot. I tried one and it was the worst thing I've ever
tasted. I was stoopid enough to try another just to make
sure.
It was even worse than before. I threw out the rest.
I've eaten sushi, raw squid, blood pudding, eggs in my beer,
and enjoyed it.
But snails taste horrible.
Mark Twain isn't always right, but he isn't always wrong,
if you know what I mean. And I think you do.
--Bill
--
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
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Douglas A. Schultz II (semy@msg.ti.com) wrote: : Wha'd I miss? That .44 Magnum Doughnut guy left, but he came back. Ross--who's already seen this part.
In article <4phfp3$sih@vixen.cso.uiuc.edu>, Laura Zurawski <juniper@uiuc.edu> wrote: >lod2@midway.uchicago.edu (john patrick lodder) writes: > >>>cabbage: One...two....three.....PUUUUUUULLLLL! >>>Damn, that's stuck there pretty good, John. > >>Yeeooooooooooooooooooooooouch! Stop that! Oooh, it hurts *more*! > > >Hmm. Taken out of context, the above three lines can be considered quite >twisted and perverted. Risque, even. Shame on you... this is a family >newsfroup. Whose family? The Mansons? > >Yes, it's the return of the alt.stupidity censorship board. It consiste >of myself and my cat, Daja. Daja thinks you all should be taken out and >shot. But that's her general attitude toward most things, really. If >she were here she'd wail bitchily at you. Have you thought about GLeeMONEX for Pets? Perhaps Daja would lose those homicidal tendencies. But before you do that, you should bring her down to this house and have her open a big ol' can of whup-ass on a certain cat who likes to hang around my bedroom door at 7:30 in the morning and yowl various consonants and vowels for no apparent reason. A mean cat. *nods* Or maybe not. -- hello, this is tv's Spatch, your doorman. MSTie #43790, TDC Director of Motion Picture Development, a.a-s TP Remote Squad "One's a dog, one's a cat." "You figure it out." - Frick & Frack http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html will SAVE YOUR LIFE
Lee Jackson Beauregard (rchason@smart.net) wrote: : matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg (Brett McInnes) wrote: : >tv's Spatch (spatula@kona.javanet.com) wrote: : >: In article <4p5cnf$1hq@nuscc.nus.sg>, : >: Brett McInnes <matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg> wrote: : >: >Tortess (tortess@panix.com) wrote: : >: >: Brett McInnes (matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg) wrote: : >: >: : Paal Ditlefsen Ekran (paalde@stud.cs.uit.no) wrote: : >: >: : : Stardate 27 May 1996 08:09:37 GMT, Brett McInnes wrote in alt.stupidity: : >: >: : : :> groan : >: > : >: >: : : finally someone who talks Norwegian, say, "Gronk, gronk groan, moan, gro?" : >: > : >: >: : How many Norske kroner is this Grondlands Hvalfisch worth? : >: > : >: >: What's that, Norwegian for "what's a henway?" : >: > : >: >What's a henway? : >: A couple pounds. : >What's a hemingway? : A writer of novels such as "For Whom the Bell Tolls". By the way, for whom *does* the bell toll? He never gives the answer in the book.
<In article <4pfa2m$e2k@nadine.teleport.com> Theresa A. Reed <darklady@teleport.com> writes: < seaner@exo.com (Darth Vader) writes: < > Sex is an evil disgusting act of sin. Stupidity is the only pure act. < For so many they're one in the same, however. ;) Huh? Sex is just the number between funf and sieben, right? The stupidity of this ... A. ... escapes me. B. ... is obvious. C. ... huh?
In article <4pb3g5$io7@dfw-ixnews4.ix.netcom.com>, Donald Lee Ferry <longdog2@ix.netcom.com> wrote: >Remember lads this Sat Melissa will be on CBS in an episode of Touched >By an ASngel, she will also be on ABC in Family Reunion: A Relative >Nightmare!! The kicker??? Well!!! They are both on at 09:00 PM ET - >ie the same time That's nice, but our lustful object is <mmmmm..>Jennifer Connelly</mmmmm..> (and, in a personal vein, <mmmmm..>The Girl With The Pale Legs I Saw In The Supermarket Last Night</mmmmm..>.) MJH is the lustful object of alt.fan.karl-malden.nose, so I sure hope they've been watching their teevees rapturously and excitedly, because I sure as hell wasn't last night. - spatch, last night there were THUNDERBOOMERS GALORE - -- hello, this is tv's Spatch, your doorman. MSTie #43790, TDC Director of Motion Picture Development, a.a-s TP Remote Squad "One's a dog, one's a cat." "You figure it out." - Frick & Frack http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html will SAVE YOUR LIFE
In article <4pfoeq$34v@dfw-ixnews5.ix.netcom.com>, Donald Lee Ferry <longdog2@ix.netcom.com> wrote: >In <4pf3ft$cdm@kona.javanet.com> spatula@kona.javanet.com (tv's Spatch) >writes: >> >>In article <4pb3g5$io7@dfw-ixnews4.ix.netcom.com>, >>Donald Lee Ferry <longdog2@ix.netcom.com> wrote: >>>Remember lads this Sat Melissa will be on CBS in an episode of >Touched >>>By an ASngel, she will also be on ABC in Family Reunion: A Relative >>>Nightmare!! The kicker??? Well!!! They are both on at 09:00 PM ET >- >>>ie the same time >> >>That's nice, but our lustful object is <mmmmm..>Jennifer >>Connelly</mmmmm..> (and, in a personal vein, <mmmmm..>The Girl With >The >>Pale Legs I Saw In The Supermarket Last Night</mmmmm..>.) MJH is the >>lustful object of alt.fan.karl-malden.nose, so I sure hope they've >been >>watching their teevees rapturously and excitedly, because I sure as >hell >>wasn't last night. >> > >What you weren't watching!!! It's called a power outage, nooflehead. When Mister Electricity stops bestowing upon us his benevolent ability, lights no work and the teevee no work and melissa joan hart no tempt libidoes. So there. > This is an outrage _Never have I seen >such Melissa slamming. You obviously missed the .AVI posted earlier. I heard she couldn't walk for a day and a half afterwards. > I will never post to this group again!!! A. Promise? B. Threat? I'll choose A, Bob. -- hello, this is tv's Spatch, your doorman. MSTie #43790, TDC Director of Motion Picture Development, a.a-s TP Remote Squad "One's a dog, one's a cat." "You figure it out." - Frick & Frack http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html will SAVE YOUR LIFE
In article <4pd1vq$mjf@news.enterprise.net>, vikki <mitchell@enterprise.net> wrote: > > Hey, that's a great way to make money! Wait til I tell my friends and relatives! -- hello, this is tv's Spatch, your doorman. MSTie #43790, TDC Director of Motion Picture Development, a.a-s TP Remote Squad "One's a dog, one's a cat." "You figure it out." - Frick & Frack http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html will SAVE YOUR LIFE
Looky, looky, spatula@kona.javanet.com (tv's Spatch) sez: >In article <4pd1vq$mjf@news.enterprise.net>, >vikki <mitchell@enterprise.net> wrote: >> >> >Hey, that's a great way to make money! >Wait til I tell my friends and relatives! Silly, you have to use ROT-13 to see it! Jason - if you've heard of it... ____________________ CRAPPY the HOMEPAGE: http://www.netcom.com/~jnafz/ "You can see evidence of aliens in your oatmeal, if you look with the right mindset and expectations." - Jeramie Hicks
Stardate Sun, 09 Jun 1996 05:14:53 +0200, Per Harald Myrvang wrote in alt.stupidity:
:> Paal Ditlefsen Ekran wrote:
:> > Stardate Sat, 08 Jun 1996 11:36:14 +0200, Per Harald Myrvang wrote in alt.stupidity:
:> > :> Paal Ditlefsen Ekran wrote:
:> > :> > What rust?
:> > :> The one that's covered with white hammerite!
:> > You must have confused me with someone else..
:> Let's go through this again: Green car, once rusty, now white-spotted,
:> lock on driver's side hang out, answers to the name "Max"?
I wasn't there! You didn't see a thing, and can't prove shit!
--
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vim:noai:nosi:wm=8:tw=79:nobk
In article <31BA41D3.E87@stud.cs.uit.no>, Per Harald Myrvang <perm@stud.cs.uit.no> wrote: >Michael Roach wrote: >> What's the best e-mauler to use with the inter net? > >Oh, anything that supports Intern-Et in Colours! AND SEE THE PICKSHURS TOO> IF YOU HAVE SSEN SOMETHING LIKE THAT SEND IT TO ME PLEAS SO I CAN SEE THE PICHSKERUS TOO. YOUR FREND, MISTER HONRY -- hello, this is tv's Spatch, your doorman. MSTie #43790, TDC Director of Motion Picture Development, a.a-s TP Remote Squad "One's a dog, one's a cat." "You figure it out." - Frick & Frack http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html will SAVE YOUR LIFE
tv's Spatch wrote:
>
> In article <31BA41D3.E87@stud.cs.uit.no>,
> Per Harald Myrvang <perm@stud.cs.uit.no> wrote:
> >Michael Roach wrote:
> >> What's the best e-mauler to use with the inter net?
> >
> >Oh, anything that supports Intern-Et in Colours!
>
> AND SEE THE PICKSHURS TOO> IF YOU HAVE SSEN SOMETHING LIKE THAT SEND IT
> TO ME PLEAS SO I CAN SEE THE PICHSKERUS TOO.
>
> YOUR FREND,
> MISTER HONRY
>
ME
TOO!!!!!
-- amp: who thinks that if U2 had called themselves MEE TOOO!!
they'd have been really really famous...er I mean if MEE TOO!!
had been a band then U2 would have kicked their ASS! ...no.. if
the Bacon Sandwich's had had a lead singer called MEE! TOO! then
Keylime would have been on backing moaning..errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Ah forget it...ON WITH THE .SIG!!
__ __
\ \/ /³¬ http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
\ / "Siant V Tar The World!!!" - Anti-Jn
\/ [v2.91] "free the friendship seven" - Bill
That's all I want to say to you. </L> -- ========================================================== |\/| ---- _ Laura J. Zurawski --- juniper@uiuc.edu =(--)=_____ \ http://www.uiuc.edu/ph/www/juniper c___ (______/ http://www.students.uiuc.edu/~juniper/cats/
In article <4ph95d$miq@vixen.cso.uiuc.edu>, Laura Zurawski <juniper@uiuc.edu> wrote: >That's all I want to say to you. I'm kinda hungry, but now that I think about it, I'm really too full to swallow my pride. In a dark Scottish lake, or something like that. -- "Oh, to be in England now that April's there" --RB My opinions are not those of my employer.
In article <DssIqv.4tx@midway.uchicago.edu>, john patrick lodder <lod2@midway.uchicago.edu> wrote: >In article <4ph95d$miq@vixen.cso.uiuc.edu>, >Laura Zurawski <juniper@uiuc.edu> wrote: >>That's all I want to say to you. > >I'm kinda hungry, but now that I think about it, >I'm really too full to swallow my pride. Don't stand so close to me. - spatch, who guesses you'll call it suicide - -- hello, this is tv's Spatch, your doorman. MSTie #43790, TDC Director of Motion Picture Development, a.a-s TP Remote Squad "One's a dog, one's a cat." "You figure it out." - Frick & Frack http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html will SAVE YOUR LIFE
In article <31BCB729.5CB5@iol.ie>, amp <AdamJ@iol.ie> writes: >Paco Romano writed: >> >> Roach, cockroach, cucroach, cucaracha > >Michael Roach! > Amp's right, Paco. Michael not only barely lost the title of the "World's Largest Roach" in a recent contest (it was due to a mere technicality), but he may also be related to the inventor of the "Clip." Though no one will admit to the latter. >-- amp: ka ka ka RAA cha! ka ka ka RAA cha! Amp, are you okay? --Bill
Wxwilki (wxwilki@aol.com) wrote: : In article <4p8t9b$77c@nuscc.nus.sg>, matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg (Brett : McInnes) writes: : >: 30000 egg : >: 10000000 g sukker : >: 15000000000 g smør : >: 1500000000000 g potetsmel : >: 1 Hvalfisk : >: Visp egg og sukker lett og porøst, rør smøret hvitt og kremaktig : og ha : > : >: det i eggedosisen under kraftig omrøring. Sikt til sist melet i. Stek : dem : >som : >: norskeblubber. : Hey, is this some kind of Scanda Navy version of Tortess' "Eggy, Eggy Pie" : recipe? *Everything* is some kind of Scandinavian version of Tortess' recipes. Think about it.
Okay, maybe I was too harsh on the French about how terrible snails tasted.
So here's a list to help (please add any info you know about):
GOOD THINGS ABOUT THE FRENCH
----------------------------
1) French fries.
2) French toast.
3) French kissing.
4) French onion soup.
5) French wine.
6) French ticklers.
BAD THINGS ABOUT THE FRENCH
---------------------------
1) Snails.
2) They think Jerry Lewis is funny.
Tough call for me.
STUPID THINGS ABOUT THE FRENCH
------------------------------
1) They're trying to make the French language deader'n Latin.
Now that could tip the balance in favor of the first list!
--Bill (french for the french!)
--
Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
<belch><font size="-1"><script language="JavaScript">
document.write("This .sig was last updated on <i>"
+ document.lastModified + "</i>.")</script></font></belch>
In some bacon article paalde@stud.cs.uit.no (Paal Ditlefsen Ekran) stated: >Don't be shy.. Put your hand against the screen and I will heal it for you.. >PRAISE THE LORD!! Because the reader of this article has sinned.. HALELUJA!! >Dear LORD! Let this sinner be forgiven' as you forgave me.. HALELUJA.. And >let all his sins fare with your blessing and warmth.. HALELUJA!!! Because >pain shall become love in your mouth... HEY POOR!!! YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE POOR ANYMORE!!! /^JN - The Anti JN - At the Front. 24.2 miles south of where I want to be. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # Add bacon prior to use. Bail me out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
Giuseppe Cornacchia <s168265@studenti.ing.unipi.it> writes: >> <In article <4ph95d$miq@vixen.cso.uiuc.edu> Laura Zurawski <juniper@uiuc.edu> writes: >> >> < That's all I want to say to you. >> >> Laura, an ABBA fan? >> >Laura is a Police fan. Aren't you, Laura? Yeah... those men in uniform... whoo-ee! I have nothing against firemen, but they always seem to go by my apartment building in their trucks at 2 AM. *HONK, HONNNK, HOOONNNKKK* </L> -- ========================================================== |\/| ---- _ Laura J. Zurawski --- juniper@uiuc.edu =(--)=_____ \ http://www.uiuc.edu/ph/www/juniper c___ (______/ http://www.students.uiuc.edu/~juniper/cats/
In article <4phnrs$3ct@kona.javanet.com>, tv's Spatch <spatula@kona.javanet.com> wrote: >In article <DssIqv.4tx@midway.uchicago.edu>, >john patrick lodder <lod2@midway.uchicago.edu> wrote: >>In article <4ph95d$miq@vixen.cso.uiuc.edu>, >>Laura Zurawski <juniper@uiuc.edu> wrote: >>>That's all I want to say to you. >> >>I'm kinda hungry, but now that I think about it, >>I'm really too full to swallow my pride. > >Don't stand so close to me. >- spatch, who guesses you'll call it suicide - Turn out that red light. GO ON, I dare ya, turn it off. You DON'T have to turn on the red light. -- "Oh, to be in England now that April's there" --RB My opinions are not those of my employer.
In article <4p6tmb$2ns@freenet.vcu.edu>, cabbage <pford@cabell.vcu.edu> wrote: >>lod2@quads.uchicago.edu (john patrick lodder) wrote: > >>and it hurts like hell. > > Well, that sucks. Yes, it certainly does. It's sucked about 80% of my extant brain cells by now, I think. >cabbage: One...two....three.....PUUUUUUULLLLL! >Damn, that's stuck there pretty good, John. Yeeooooooooooooooooooooooouch! Stop that! Oooh, it hurts *more*! -- "Oh, to be in England now that April's there" --RB My opinions are not those of my employer.
lod2@midway.uchicago.edu (john patrick lodder) writes: >>cabbage: One...two....three.....PUUUUUUULLLLL! >>Damn, that's stuck there pretty good, John. >Yeeooooooooooooooooooooooouch! Stop that! Oooh, it hurts *more*! Hmm. Taken out of context, the above three lines can be considered quite twisted and perverted. Risque, even. Shame on you... this is a family newsfroup. Yes, it's the return of the alt.stupidity censorship board. It consiste of myself and my cat, Daja. Daja thinks you all should be taken out and shot. But that's her general attitude toward most things, really. If she were here she'd wail bitchily at you. </L> -- ========================================================== |\/| ---- _ Laura J. Zurawski --- juniper@uiuc.edu =(--)=_____ \ http://www.uiuc.edu/ph/www/juniper c___ (______/ http://www.students.uiuc.edu/~juniper/cats/
In article <4pkkrc$e9e@spider.rmplc.co.uk> "Merlin / Sally C." <casvale@rmplc.co.uk> writes: >If you are a German called Herman I'll send you my life savings. >Merlin. >-- If you live in Berlin I'll keep them. *MM
In article <31BDDB60.4996@aix.telia.se> Haakon Lugiesson <lugiess@aix.telia.se> writes: >Khaelon wrote: >> Randall Rhoads <randyr@valhalla.fender.com> wrote: >> >> >> I guess a couple of hundred thousand U. S. service men and women >> >> in Europe since 1943 has "left Europe to hold the line as we always >> >> have"......Get off your self-pious high horse, ass wipe! >> >> >Way to hand it to him, man. Fucking Swede anyway; when's the last time >> >Sweden was in a war of any kind? When was the last time a fucking Swede >> >ever risked his ass for anything besides a piece of nooky with the guy >> >next door's wife? Sweden has to be the most useless country in the >> >whole fucking world. >> >> Nice thought. I guess Sweden has to be one of the most intelligent >> countries then, for exactly the same reasons. >> Stefan aka Khaelon >Thank you for your support Khaelon! I am so tired of the Americans >claming that they saved the whole world over and over again. We >Swedes are above that sort of thing, which is more than you can say >for the morons surrounding us. Say What? Think carefully. *MM -- who is polishing Fragarach.
Looky, looky, paalde@stud.cs.uit.no (Paal Ditlefsen Ekran) sez: >Stardate 11 Jun 1996 20:26:10 GMT, Merlin / Sally C. wrote in alt.stupidity: >:> I've never met a German person on the internet, but I'd like to. If there >:> are any Germans out there please can you mail me and I promise I won't >:> mention the war. >Ich habe eine sauerkraut in me leatherhauche, bitte danke. Ich bier eine >Berliner. Und zu enschuldingen Sie bierte. Du bist eine haberstrassen, und den Fluechtenzussen mit und p bateng hyng vbaf, lbhs bhaq gurfrper gzrff ntr!! Jason - FIND THE SEKRIT MESSAGE!!!! ____________________ CRAPPY the HOMEPAGE: http://www.netcom.com/~jnafz/ "You can see evidence of aliens in your oatmeal, if you look with the right mindset and expectations." - Jeramie Hicks
In some bacon article elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) stated: >In article <31BDDB60.4996@aix.telia.se> Haakon Lugiesson <lugiess@aix.telia.se> writes: >>Khaelon wrote: >>> Randall Rhoads <randyr@valhalla.fender.com> wrote: >>> >>> >> I guess a couple of hundred thousand U. S. service men and women >>> >> in Europe since 1943 has "left Europe to hold the line as we always >>> >> have"......Get off your self-pious high horse, ass wipe! >>> >>> >Way to hand it to him, man. Fucking Swede anyway; when's the last time >>> >Sweden was in a war of any kind? When was the last time a fucking Swede >>> >ever risked his ass for anything besides a piece of nooky with the guy >>> >next door's wife? Sweden has to be the most useless country in the >>> >whole fucking world. >>> >>> Nice thought. I guess Sweden has to be one of the most intelligent >>> countries then, for exactly the same reasons. >>> Stefan aka Khaelon > >>Thank you for your support Khaelon! I am so tired of the Americans >>claming that they saved the whole world over and over again. We >>Swedes are above that sort of thing, which is more than you can say >>for the morons surrounding us. Who? Wait a minnit! I get it! You're quoting Bill's .sig! 'You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors."' >Say What? Think carefully. "What? Think carefully." >*MM -- who is polishing Fragarach. If you chop low then I'll chop high. Maybe we should ask Myrvang hold the sucker too... /^JN - The Anti JN - Working for Scandinavian unity. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # Add bacon prior to use. Bail me out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In some bacon article jnafz@ix.netcom.com stated: >Looky, looky, paalde@stud.cs.uit.no (Paal Ditlefsen Ekran) sez: > >>Stardate 11 Jun 1996 20:26:10 GMT, Merlin / Sally C. wrote in alt.stupidity: >>:> I've never met a German person on the internet, but I'd like to. If there >>:> are any Germans out there please can you mail me and I promise I won't >>:> mention the war. > >>Ich habe eine sauerkraut in me leatherhauche, bitte danke. Ich bier eine >>Berliner. Und zu enschuldingen Sie bierte. > >Du bist eine haberstrassen, und den Fluechtenzussen mit und p bateng >hyng vbaf, lbhs bhaq gurfrper gzrff ntr!! Come on Jase, that wasn't even hard! >Jason - FIND THE SEKRIT MESSAGE!!!! Find the name!!! ASDJJDSAJDKADJKAJDKWNEKJNFRJALNVJKEWVINCASJD ASDAASDKKTGBOBKVO-WMEKCMCMOSNEFMMROEORVVMEOM ASJKAKSDJASKASKDAKDSADANJEVUTJBK WR-IVICVICC AKSDASKDMVRNTBVJI;VMWEOOCWECIOMSODCKSDCK;SOR CDSKJSXFKDJFSKDJFKS_AFDIJASF-DAJFKFKS_FSDKFÄ ASKDMVKFKRTOTROKIJ)=K)KJVKSMJVOMVKMKMVMER$#; SCDSKSDFLKMVORTKOREOO$;VLOSDNFOOPEWOCKSLSDOD /^JN - The Anti JN - Who loses News access next week. Bummer. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # Add bacon prior to use. Bail me out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In article <4pkkrc$e9e@spider.rmplc.co.uk>, Merlin / Sally C. <casvale@rmplc.co.uk> wrote: >If you are a German called Herman I'll send you my life savings. Ja, ist der German genamedsomething Herman. Guten tag! Now giventome das life-savings! -- hello, this is tv's Spatch, your doorman. MSTie #43790, TDC Director of Motion Picture Development, a.a-s TP Remote Squad "One's a dog, one's a cat." "You figure it out." - Frick & Frack http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html will SAVE YOUR LIFE
<In article <4pj514$lus@kona.javanet.com> spatula@kona.javanet.com (tv's Spatch) writes: < In article <4pinb7$601@newsbf02.news.aol.com>, Wxwilki <wxwilki@aol.com> wrote: < >In article <31BCB729.5CB5@iol.ie>, amp <AdamJ@iol.ie> writes: < > < >>Paco Romano writed: , >>> < >>> Roach, cockroach, cucroach, cucaracha < >> < >>Michael Roach! < >> < > < >Amp's right, Paco. Michael not only barely lost the title of the "World's < >Largest Roach" in a recent contest (it was due to a mere technicality), < >but he may also be related to the inventor of the "Clip." < > < >Though no one will admit to the latter. < I would, man! Woooo! Think of all the retroactive royalties that would < come my way! I would own Cheech & Chong, man. Well, ok, but where would ya keep them, huh? < >>-- amp: ka ka ka RAA cha! ka ka ka RAA cha! < > < >Amp, are you okay? < amp koo koo ra cha! Ha! Amp is the walrus? Goo-goo-ca-choo? <Cue Tortess....>
In article <4pkkp2$e9e@spider.rmplc.co.uk> "Merlin / Sally C." <casvale@rmplc.co.uk> writes: >I've never met a German person on the internet, but I'd like to. If there >are any Germans out there please can you mail me and I promise I won't >mention the war. Which one? *MM
It was the dawn of the Third Age of Mankind, the year the Great War came upon us all, when -card- said: |Sports & Non-sport cards. Trading cards. Every category under the sun, |at the BEST possible price. Do you have the 1970 Spatula rookie card? -- "Wherever there is belching, we'll be there! Wherever there is stupidity, we'll be there! Wherever there is candy, we'll be there!", Wacko, Yakko and Dot Warner
In article <31bdc74e.12455067@netnews.worldnet.att.net>, Michael Roach <mikroa@ix.netcom.com> wrote: >It was the dawn of the Third Age of Mankind, the year the Great War came >upon us all, when -card- said: > >|Sports & Non-sport cards. Trading cards. Every category under the sun, >|at the BEST possible price. > >Do you have the 1970 Spatula rookie card? I couldn't ever get my shoes off! -- hello, this is tv's Spatch, your doorman. MSTie #43790, TDC Director of Motion Picture Development, a.a-s TP Remote Squad "One's a dog, one's a cat." "You figure it out." - Frick & Frack http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html will SAVE YOUR LIFE
It was the dawn of the Third Age of Mankind, the year the Great War came upon us all, when HasNoName said: |Toby Click (tobias@nmt.edu) wrote: |: Veteran's Day. Actually, though, the stuff is so loaded down with |: preservatives, it probably takes longer to decompose than plutonium. And |: that's good for people who shop at those run-down drugstores that don't |: really pay attention to what they're selling and who put sell heart-shaped |: red-hots on the shelves in September, or Peeps around Halloween, or |: peanut-butter chews in black-and-orange wrappers during the summer. | |This is reminiscent of the local store that, last I checked |(a couple of years ago), still had cans of Smurf Spaghettios |on its shelves. How many years have the Smurfs been off the |air? When I lived in California, there were Vons stores that still had cans of coho salmon on the shelves. How many years has the coho been classified as a threatened species? -- "Wherever there is belching, we'll be there! Wherever there is stupidity, we'll be there! Wherever there is candy, we'll be there!", Wacko, Yakko and Dot Warner
Stardate 12 Jun 1996 18:15:48 GMT, Anti JN wrote in alt.stupidity:
:> In some bacon article paalde@stud.cs.uit.no (Paal Ditlefsen Ekran) stated:
:> >Don't be shy.. Put your hand against the screen and I will heal it for you..
:> >PRAISE THE LORD!! Because the reader of this article has sinned.. HALELUJA!!
:> >Dear LORD! Let this sinner be forgiven' as you forgave me.. HALELUJA.. And
:> >let all his sins fare with your blessing and warmth.. HALELUJA!!! Because
:> >pain shall become love in your mouth...
:> HEY POOR!!! YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE POOR ANYMORE!!!
Yoo, Per, read this, it's POOR, not PAAL!!!!
Jesus is here... [click] Jesus is here... [click]
[do you know your life is going nowhere? do you know your life is going
nowhere?]
[NO SEX UNTIL MaRiEd!!!!!!]
--
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In some bacon article paalde@stud.cs.uit.no (Paal Ditlefsen Ekran) stated: >Stardate 12 Jun 1996 18:15:48 GMT, Anti JN wrote in alt.stupidity: >:> In some bacon article paalde@stud.cs.uit.no (Paal Ditlefsen Ekran) stated: >:> >Don't be shy.. Put your hand against the screen and I will heal it for you.. >:> >PRAISE THE LORD!! Because the reader of this article has sinned.. HALELUJA!! >:> >Dear LORD! Let this sinner be forgiven' as you forgave me.. HALELUJA.. And >:> >let all his sins fare with your blessing and warmth.. HALELUJA!!! Because >:> >pain shall become love in your mouth... > >:> HEY POOR!!! YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE POOR ANYMORE!!! > >Yoo, Per, read this, it's POOR, not PAAL!!!! > >Jesus is here... [click] Jesus is here... [click] > >[do you know your life is going nowhere? do you know your life is going > nowhere?] > >[NO SEX UNTIL MaRiEd!!!!!!] *Anti JN turns around and whips out his Front By Front, bangs it in the CD player and turns the volume to "Are you nuts" (Thanks MJ for that one. Not!) to the obvious irritation of the others in the room* "In the name of Jesus!" "Come in Jesus!" "Oh God I'm a sinner" "Jesus is the son of God" "I deserve to go to hell" "Don't help the devil" "NO SEX UNTIL MARRIAGE!!!" Right, that's what I thought. [Large .sig deletia] /^JN - The Anti JN - "HEY POOR! YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE JESUS!!!" -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # Add bacon prior to use. Bail me out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
Jesper Nilsson // dat92jni@ludat.lth.se or jesper@df.lth.se