yu123005@yorku.ca (Jeffery Shidei) wrote: :bj wrote: :: There are no more peanut M&M'S ... :: I repeat there are no more peanut M&M's : Peanut M&M's make me repeat, too, That's just the blue M&Ms. : but I wouldn't discontinue : making them just because of that. You should reconsider. : I take a dose of Bean-o and : voila. Problem solved. Long live peanut M&M's. Only the non-blue salty ones. : -Jeffzilla (now cabbages are a different story) Please! Tell us the story of the cabbages! --Bill -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Laura Zurawski <juniper@uiuc.edu> wrote:
>kas2928@gold.acns.fsu.edu (Tank) writes:
>
>>When I was in third grade, this kid brought a lobster to school for show
>>and tell. The lobster peed on my desk. I had to stay in half of recess
>>cleaning lobster pee off my desk. I was really mad.
>
>That's one of those things you just don't think about:
^^^^^
about:
about?
about.
about!
about, face!
Sorry. Just testing netscrape 1.22 for windoze. Strange.
>"Lobsters... do they pee?"
>
>Nope, never thought about it til now.
>On that train of thought... do tarantulas pee? How about turtles?
>
Tortess?? On WHAT train???
--Bill (pardon me, boy...)
--
You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be
surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors."
--The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity
Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
jbezeau@uoguelph.ca (Jonathan R Bezeau) wrote: :Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: :: elvi.vtkk.v1wki@nemo.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) wrote: :: :In article <4ha449$646@news.ios.com> pg :: :<pgolds@gramercy.ios.com> writes: :: :>Subject: If Oprah Winfrey Married Deepak Chopra :: :...she would name their kids Oppez, Ohcuorg, Ocihc, and :: :Ommug. :: You know, I'll bet that doesn't make sense in ROT-13, either. :: But I have this dim stupid impression that Flapjack will be :: highly interested in that remark. :But they sound so much better in ROT13... or at least they all :start with B. Oh, shit. What have my clones been up to? :Even if Flapjack's not biting at this one, i copied it and sent :it back to the boys at the Lab, to see what they could come up :with. Oh shit. --Bill -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Distribution: Ross Garmil (limrag@bu.edu) wrote: : yaz pistachio (fnargle@primenet.com) wrote: : : Ross Garmil <limrag@bu.edu> wrote: : : [snippage] : : --beth (just tryin' out the ol' socker, to make sure i can : : still sock.) : Maybe you been gone a little too long, Yazbeth, but I'm the one who does : teh SOCK!ing around here. I'll let you get away with it this time, but : you just watch it, y'hear? : Ross--who's more stunned than anything. Wha' about that guy that dissed Flapjack all those weeks back. I SOCK!ed him. You SOCK!ed him really good, and damn, I forget the third accomplice. Plus flapjack did something... he didn't just wibble while peons carried out justice for him. Anyhow, it's all on tape - the largest recent gang-SOCK!ing on the froup. Jonboy!
YAY! Finally. Finally!! FINALLY!!!! Yes! Yes!! YES!!!! FFFFFFFFFF OOOOOO FFF OO OO FFF OO OO FFFFFF OO OO FFF OO OO FFF OO OO FFFar OOOOOOut! Okay. Thank-you for your e-mailed question. Expect a handsome simulFaxed copy of your Reply. --Bill (who lost the directions to the fun-way because none of that makes) sense. -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Today we have a special commemorative reprint. Scene: Two barbarians are carrying away a screaming young woman in the woods. Suddenly, a knight appears. Knight: Stop, you barbarians! Barbarian 1: And who's going to make us stop? Woman: Help me! Help me! Knight: I am a Knight of the Round Table. I order you to halt before I am forced to destroy you. Barbarian 2: A Knight of the Round Table, eh? Who are you...Lancelot? Gallahad? Knight: No, you probably haven't heard of me before. But that doesn't matter. Halt before I destroy you. Barbarian 1: We aren't stopping unless you fully identify yourself. Knight: Alright. I'm Sir Poopalot of the Round Table. Now release the girl! Barbarian 2: Sir Poopalot? You're making that up. I've never heard of you...how about you Barry? Barbarian 1: Nobody at the Round Table would call themselves Sir Poopalot. Sir Poopalot: Look, I'm not going to argue with you. I'm Gallahad's brother, and yes, maybe the Round Table guys haven't talked much about me, but I'm as good and moral and protective as any of them. Unhand the girl! Barbarian 2: Um, you know, I think inside that suit of armor is a little twit that just wants to be a Knight of the Round Table. You know, Barry...I think we can take him, and sell that armor for a pretty penny on the market! Barbarian 1: You know, Denny, you're right. Sir Poopalot: I warned you. Prepare yourselves to be destroyed. Suddenly, Sir Poopalot turns around. He presses a button on his armor that ejects the armor plate covering his butt. He bends over and shoots a stream of crap at the two barbarians. Barbarian 1: Arrgghhhh! Poop! He's a maniac! I've been hit! Barbarian 2: Run for it! This shit stinks! The two barbarians put the woman down and run away into the forest. Sir Poopalot: I hope I didn't hit you. Woman: No, you missed me. That was amazing. Sir Poopalot: When I was a child, I found out I had this skill of spraying my dung. (He begins to replace butt armor plate) I would go into the fields and practice and practice. I'm to the point now that I can hit an apple on a fence from 50 feet. Woman: You're my hero! Sir Poopalot: Well, fair damsel, I simply was following the code of the Round Table. Of course, now that I've saved your life, you'll be offering me a romp in the hay, correct? Woman: Well, the thought had crossed my mind. Sir Poopalot: Well, you know how virtuous we Knights of the Round Table are supposed to be. You do know that we aren't supposed to accept such offers? Woman: I had heard that. Sir Poopalot: Well, we just say that because we have to save a lot of ugly old women. Warts on their noses and everything. But, I'm interested, if you know what I mean. Woman: You mean, for a roll in the hay? Sir Poopalot: Yes. Give me five minutes to go to the bathroom first, though. I need to clear out my system...if I don't we might get the fountain experience, which isn't very fun...I'll be right back. Woman: Okay. Sir Poopalot disappears into the woods, grabbing leaves as he walks. The End.
In article <westgate-0803961646350001@abb-annex3-port7.cis.mcmaster.ca> westgate@muss.cis.mcmaster.ca (Ann-Marie Westgate) writes: >I wish you would all get a life. It is jackasses like yourself that fill >up the disk on my newserver and make it difficult for me to post an >article with REAL CONTENT!!! Quit crossposting your shit to AFW, in fact, >just don't post this crap at all. >IANW, YHGMTPOAFW >Ann-Marie Yep, some buddies have got it all wrong. This is supposed to be the longest thread ever, not the thread with the longest ever messages. ASDF, QWERTYUIOP *MM
In article <4hs7do$2v8$2@mhafn.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: >yu123005@yorku.ca (Jeffery Shidei) wrote: >:bj wrote: >:: There are no more peanut M&M'S ... >:: I repeat there are no more peanut M&M's >: Peanut M&M's make me repeat, too, >That's just the blue M&Ms. I'm never blue. I like peanuts though, Virginia Extra Large. (Or were they cigars?) >: but I wouldn't discontinue >: making them just because of that. >You should reconsider. >: I take a dose of Bean-o and >: voila. Problem solved. Long live peanut M&M's. >Only the non-blue salty ones. Dammit, you're getting me all confused again with this *M&M thing. Cease please! Tralala!! >: -Jeffzilla (now cabbages are a different story) >Please! Tell us the story of the cabbages! Yes do! What happened to the father cabbage? >--Bill >-- >You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be >surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." >--The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity >Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1 *MM >You know, a sincere man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be >surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of idiots."
In article <4hvn3p$sgp@hasle.sn.no> Ola Rise <orise@sn.no> writes: >You amaze me >try again!!!! >Hope to hear from you !!!!! I hereby amaze you. Glad to oblige. *MM
Augh!! My posts keep failing! My life is meaningless!! Existence is merely a futile exercise in maintaining a self-centered reality!! I'm a failure!!! -Jeffzilla (watch this one work) --
Jeffery Shidei (yu123005@sunlight.ccs.yorku.ca) wrote: : Augh!! My posts keep failing! My life is meaningless!! Existence : is merely a futile exercise in maintaining a self-centered reality!! I'm : a failure!!! : -Jeffzilla (watch this one work) Figures. -Jeffzilla (roar)
Weinerwald is in Frankfurt, but weinerschnitzels (ob sp?) aren't hot dogs. I once drove through Hamburg, but didn't stop for a sandwich. I was once told that the sandwich was invented by the Earl of Shrewsbury. But that's only 2nd hand information. Gouda cheese, is--but don't watch how they make it. Ditto if you want to Edam. I've never tried an Augsburger, but Munchen throws some fine beer parties. I once read that some Scandinavian country renamed the original movie classic from "King Kong" to "Kong King" becasue "kong" meant "king" and "king" was just a sound. But I've never been there. --Bill -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Chef, Boyardee inscribed:
>
> spatula@retina.net (Spatch) writes:
> >John "Ensign Meow Meow" McKeon (jmckeon@interserf.net) wrote:
> >: elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) wrote:
> >: >Vamp <adam.jewell@mts.dbo.dec.com> writes:
> >
> >: >>Vamp - what did the Romans ever do for us anyway?
> >
> >: >Times New Roman. Roman candles. Roman ko kaakola. Lotsa shtuff.
> >
> >: Roman Meal Bread (yum, yum!)
> >
> >Roman Hands.
>
> Roman Holidays.
ok but like apart from Times New Roman, Roman candles, Roman ko kaakola, Lotsa shtuff, Roman Meal Bread
Roman Hands and Roman Holidays what did the Romans ever do for us?
ampius NoVeeius - Friends, Romans, Stupiditarians....Lend me a large gothic V
--
__ __ ____
/\ | \ / || _ \Final Release .sig v2.42
/ \ | \ \/ / || __/Chief Designer of the ANY key
/_/\_\|_|\__/|_||_|The melon formally known as Vamp
Jack Shit (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: : I don't know. Do you? Hey! I know you!
wayne26@epix.net (Mr. Play-A-Day) wrote: :Scene: The George Clooney Clone Factory. \|/ -POP- Snip! (sorry) /|\ I found that very funny. For a complete transcript of the original play, pop over to: http://www.epix.net/~wayne26 --Bill -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
In article <4hntcd$kcp@ousrvr3.oulu.fi>, Juhana Siren <jsiren@raita.oulu.fi> wrote: [snip] >BTW: do you know where Linux was originally developed? YES! YES!! I know the answer to that question! Please ask me another ques... >Here in Finland. Aw, gee, you're no fun. >No joke. Aw, lightne up a bit, this is altdotstoopididity.... --Bill -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
VOID <kroberts@odin.cbu.edu> told Darth Vader:
[snip]
:http://www.cbu.edu/~kroberts
:
: \|/ ____ \|/
: "@'/ ,. \`@"
: /_| \__/ |_\
: \__U_/
: THE GALAXY OR BUST.
^^^^^^^
No problem.
\ _ |
" | /_- -\ /
@ ' , .
/ \|/ \ ` @ "
-POP-
/ /|\ | \
| \__
_ _ \ /
\_ -
- u
--Bill (i don't know what that was, but i don't think magnus
could have decapitated it)
--
You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be
surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors."
--The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity
Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
In article <4i6331$cp2@newsbf02.news.aol.com> coolio1967@aol.com (Coolio1967) writes: ...if James Bond worked for a pickle company, he'd be licensed to dill... I like you. I'll dill you last. Is it just me, or does this look reeeeeely familiar? Jezebell--who found a happy new addition to her .sig. -- --I like you, I'll kill you last. ---------------- | I want to meet | | interesting | | and exotic | | people and | | kill them. | | | | -Matthew Modine| | Full Metal | | Jacket | ----------------
In article <4i56sp$gnl@sunburst.ccs.yorku.ca> yu123005@sunspot.ccs.yorku.ca (Jeffery Shidei) writes: I thought only Orkans drove those egg-vehicles. Not much in the way of style, but quite a hefty crumple zone in case of an accident. -Jeffzilla (Na-noo, na-noo) But I haven't wet my pants in years! Jezebell--who is just so dang funny! -- --I like you, I'll kill you last. ---------------- | I want to meet | | interesting | | and exotic | | people and | | kill them. | | | | -Matthew Modine| | Full Metal | | Jacket | ----------------
elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) wrote: >In article <4i748d$am3@news.bu.edu> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: >>Brett McInnes (matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg) wrote: >>: john patrick lodder (lod2@quads.uchicago.edu) wrote: > >>: : Sometimes, Anna, a pipe is just a pipe. > >>Sometimes, Anna, this is not a pipe. > >Aina Anna ei anna. > >Hehehe... sorry folks, it just doesn't translate, but if you ever meet >a Finn whose wife's/daughter's name is Anna and say this to him, >you'll make him laugh wildly. I suggest you duck though, just in case. > >*MM > anna anna bo banna, fee fi mo manna, ANNA! --Bill (thinking of a 60's pop song) -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Arthur Sankey (bh505@FreeNet.Carleton.CA) wrote:
: Here it is, to taste my ass, just lick the indicated area of screen:
: ________________________________________________________
: | |
: | |
: | L I C K H E R E |
: | |
: | |
: ________________________________________________________
: Please wipe screen before licking. If it still tastes dusty, that's your
: screen, not my ass.
: ENJOY!
I can see James Nguyen licking right now. *giggle*
Lick boy! Lick!!!!!!!!!!!
--
.ooooO Ooooo.
( ) ( )
\ ( Joey ) /
\_) (_/
We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of
course, powerful muscles, but no personality.
http://minyos.its.rmit.edu.au/~s9312765
/-\
{(o.o)}
\0/
ooooO(. .)Ooooo
( ) \|/ ( )
\ ( -POP-) /
\_) /|\ (_/
--
Steve
keyboard failure press any key to continue
elvi.vtkk.v1wkiQmemo.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) wrote: :In article <3141BE90.4CBE@ix.netcom.com> Irwin Poche :<IPoche@ix.netcom.com> writes: :>Not exactly. They got the idea from Xerox but made :>significant changes and improvements. Xerox windows :>couldn't overlap. Xerox buttons didn't do anything :>directly, they were popup menues of choices. Lots of >:other imporvements too. :>The big thing is that Xerox never produced a personal :>computer owned by millions. Apple did. Then Bill :>stole it. I DID NOT!!!!! :But Billy boy has also made a few impervoments. No. You're thinking of Gorden Letwin, who once wrote a Unix-like OS for Heath Company called HDOS, then went to MS and tried to make MS-DOS Unix compatible. He later did Os...Hang on a second. What did you mean by "impervoments?" --Bill -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
aservant@laz.win-uk.net (FDR) wrote:
:What is this alt.stupidity Newsgroup anyway?
This is us. And you are you.
("maybe."
"possibly."
"perhaps."
:I didn't realize I was posting there.
That's a great start!
:Just wait till you try making further progress in understanding
:Quantum Mecahnics, though.
I once saw this movie about a Quandrum Mecahnic who got
ripped to shreds by Dr. Morbius, though I din't unnerstand it.
--Bill
--
You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be
surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors."
--The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity
Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
I've been asked to start one. Maybe do a FAQ. I grepped my files for "idiot" and found far too much to deal with. This requires thinking. Hope someone helps. --Bill -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
! -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
elvi.vtkk.v1wki@v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) wrote: :Yep, some buddies have got it all wrong. This is supposed to be :the longest thread ever, not the thread with the longest ever :messages. :ASDF, QWERTYUIOP :*MM LS/MFT CP/M HDOS YGUTPOA.S HAND --Bill -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
In article <4icju6$p7k@ccshst05.cs.uoguelph.ca> jbezeau@uoguelph.ca (Jonathan R Bezeau) writes: >Magnus Mulqvist (elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi) wrote: >: In article <4i748d$am3@news.bu.edu> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: >: >Brett McInnes (matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg) wrote: >: >: john patrick lodder (lod2@quads.uchicago.edu) wrote: >: >: : Sometimes, Anna, a pipe is just a pipe. >: >Sometimes, Anna, this is not a pipe. >: Aina Anna ei anna. >: Hehehe... sorry folks, it just doesn't translate, but if you ever meet >: a Finn whose wife's/daughter's name is Anna and say this to him, >: you'll make him laugh wildly. I suggest you duck though, just in case. >: *MM >You didn't say he'd "laugh his head off" or that you'd better duck or you >might lose your head... >Not enough highlander thingies for Bill these days. Well, I thought I was the headbeheader and you shouldn't need to care about other Finns... and my wife's name isn't Anna. Nor my daughter's. In fact, I don't have a daughter. Nor a wife, for that matter. All I have is my claidhreamhmor, and its name is Fragarach. *MM -- who has hereby revealed the story of his life.
In article <4id9j6$4ot$2@mhafn.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: >From: Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> >Subject: Longest POP! Ever >Date: 16 Mar 1996 02:38:30 GMT > \|/ >-POP- Hi! > /|\ >On second thought, adding an extra "O" gives me pause... >--Bill (never mind) \|/ -POP- OHi! /|\ Huh(tm)? Oxohixium biphosphite? Diphosphoxohixite? *MM
In article <4idemv$r80@nadine.teleport.com> sdc@teleport.com () writes:
> /-\
> {(o.o)}
> \0/
> ooooO(. .)Ooooo
> ( ) \|/ ( )
> \ ( -POP-) /
> \_) /|\ (_/
>--
No way!
_,_
ooooO(. .)Ooooo
( ) \|/ ( )
\ ( -P*P-) /
\_) /|\ (_/
*MM
In article <1364@laz.win-uk.net> aservant@laz.win-uk.net (FDR) writes: >What is this alt.stupidity Newsgroup anyway? I didn't realize I was >posting there. [...] Well, you kind of answered your own question there. *MM
In article <elvi.vtkk.v1wki.2210.010A46A5@memo.vtkk.fi> elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) writes: > Well, I thought I was the headbeheader and you shouldn't need to > care about other Finns... and my wife's name isn't Anna. Nor my > daughter's. In fact, I don't have a daughter. Nor a wife, for that > matter. All I have is my claidhreamhmor, and its name is Fragarach. > *MM -- who has hereby revealed the story of his life. Hmmm...I knew there was something up with you Finns... Jezebell--who has no problem reading Norwegian, Danish, and Swedish, but thinks Finnish is way out there.... -- --I like you, I'll kill you last. ---------------- | I want to meet | | interesting | | and exotic | | people and | | kill them. | | | | -Matthew Modine| | Full Metal | | Jacket | ----------------
Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote:
: \|/
: -POP- Hi!
: /|\
: On second thought, adding an extra "O" gives me pause...
|_|
{, ,}**** /
Moo- (^)******
U /\ /\
: --Bill (never mind)
Oh sorry, couldn't hear you. Was eating corn nuts.
--
Steve
keyboard failure press any key to continue
chagelstein@jack.clarku.edu wrote: : In a previous article, thefly@neca.com (Bill Daras) wrote: : ->In article <4hpqjm$f9s@news.fsu.edu>, kas2928@gold.acns.fsu.edu (Tank) wrote: : -> : ->> They should make peanut skittles. : -> : -> Peanut Tic Tac's : -> : ->thefly@neca.com : ->"Midnight Is Where The Day Begins"- U2 : -> : I saw a candy store in Boston called "Sweet Snack Alternatives:" : Had the following: : Onion Jelly Beans : Placenta squirt gum : Brussel Sprout lollipops (with tofu filling) : Mashed Tomato on log. : Little Fig newt-on (newt salamanders in fig sandwichs) : restless cavair mixed with pickle juice Snickers That'll learn you to wander around the Combat Zone again. -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and back from the shadows again "I don't know why I was watching an Ingmar Bergman film when I could have been on IRC watching Spatch type 'STINKY POOP ASS'." - Liza Daly "Uhm, there's a spatula through your head." - Some fellow at SF/21
Jessica Twitchell (jessica@cs.chalmers.se) wrote:
: In article <elvi.vtkk.v1wki.2210.010A46A5@memo.vtkk.fi> elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) writes:
: > Well, I thought I was the headbeheader and you shouldn't need to
: > care about other Finns... and my wife's name isn't Anna. Nor my
: > daughter's. In fact, I don't have a daughter. Nor a wife, for that
: > matter. All I have is my claidhreamhmor, and its name is Fragarach.
: > *MM -- who has hereby revealed the story of his life.
: Hmmm...I knew there was something up with you Finns...
: Jezebell--who has no problem reading Norwegian, Danish, and Swedish, but
: thinks Finnish is way out there....
mmmm... sweedish meatballs.
dainishes.
dutchies.
tofu?
Jonboy - who thinks fragrance is a silly name for a sword :) *parry* *parry*
elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) wrote: >In article <4icju6$p7k@ccshst05.cs.uoguelph.ca> jbezeau@uoguelph.ca (Jonathan R Bezeau) writes: >>Magnus Mulqvist (elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi) wrote: >>: In article <4i748d$am3@news.bu.edu> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: >>: >Brett McInnes (matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg) wrote: >>: >: john patrick lodder (lod2@quads.uchicago.edu) wrote: > >>: >: : Sometimes, Anna, a pipe is just a pipe. > >>: >Sometimes, Anna, this is not a pipe. > >>: Aina Anna ei anna. > >>: Hehehe... sorry folks, it just doesn't translate, but if you ever meet >>: a Finn whose wife's/daughter's name is Anna and say this to him, >>: you'll make him laugh wildly. I suggest you duck though, just in case. > >>: *MM > >>You didn't say he'd "laugh his head off" or that you'd better duck or you >>might lose your head... >>Not enough highlander thingies for Bill these days. <[ ]>HUH?</[ ]> > >Well, I thought I was the headbeheader and you shouldn't need to >care about other Finns... and my wife's name isn't Anna. Nor my >daughter's. In fact, I don't have a daughter. Nor a wife, for that >matter. All I have is my claidhreamhmor, and its name is Fragarach. And I thought Fragarach was an axe. What's a claidhreamhmor? It's not in my Big Book of Words. --Bill (who also wonders about the literal translation) -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
sex.
In article <4it7lm$98b@nuscc.nus.sg>, Brett McInnes <matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg> wrote: >sex. And who, pray tell, is the father? ===================================================== "Oh, to be in England now that April's there" --RB My opinions are not those of my employer. =====================================================
limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) wrote: :William J. Webb (newsman@marble.net) wrote: :: Excuse me, but what the hell is this doing in :: alt.aldus.freehand??? :The backstroke. Garmil: 1 Webb: 0 NEXT!!! -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
/* point.c - bill wilkinson
22 mar 96
based on data from sdc - hahahahahhaahh
*/
#include "speakstupidity.h"
void main()
{
for (;;)
speak("point");
}
--
You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be
surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors."
--The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity
Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Did you ever sit down at your terminal, start typing a post, suddenly sneeze, and notice that one of your fingers was beginning to stickk to one of the kkkeys on your kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
There it is again. On page 74 of the March issue of the "Analog Science Fiction and Fact" magazine. A full-page ad stating "BAN DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE!" Ross, IT IS NOT FUNNY!!!! --Bill -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
If you hold your breath and slowly count down from 100, the back of your head will touch the floor. --Bill (tommy smothers, circa 1968) -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Magnus Mulqvist (elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi) wrote: : >>What do you mean, if bacon, then bacon? What does that have to do with god???? : It is obvious that you have never eaten a bacon sandwich or a hot god. Well, I know that one of them is really greasy, slimy, crunchy and full of fat and the other one has bacon in it. -Jeffzilla (ye gads! I'll fry for that one!)
Jeffery Shidei wrote:
>
> Magnus Mulqvist (elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi) wrote:
>
>
> -Jeffzilla (ye gads! I'll fry for that one!)
by jove! I'll buy that for a dollar!
--amp: who's in a cascadey kinda humour
__ __ ____
/\ | \ / || _ \Final Release .sig v2.42
/ \ | \ \/ / || __/Chief Designer of the ANY key
/_/\_\|_|\__/|_||_|The melon formally known as Vamp
Stay away from Sunkist California Pistachios (tm). They don't have shells. You just reach into the plastic jar and eat them until you're sick. It's not right that they don't have shells. Hope this helps. --Bill -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
In article <4ivpb3$4kb@dub-news-svc-4.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@compuserve.com> writes: >Did you ever sit down at your terminal, start typing a post, suddenly >sneeze, and notice that one of your fingers was beginning to stickk to >one of the kkkeys on your kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk >-- No. *MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
Bill Wilkinson wrote:
>
> jwoodfor@noname (Jeffrey N Woodford) wrote:
>
> :fosters@okstate.edu wrote:
> :: On 17 Mar 1996, Jeffrey N Woodford wrote:
> :: > I'm kinda sick of the Libertarian crowd claiming that "most" things
> :: > that the US government does are unconstitutional. So I offer a
[big words and no pitures snipped]
___ ___ ___ ___ ___
{~._.~} {~:_:~} {~...~} {~+_+~} {~___~}
( Y ) ( Y ) ( Y ) ( Y ) ( Y )
()~*~() ()~*~() ()~*~() ()~*~() ()~*~()
(_)-(_) (_)-(_) (_)-(_) (_)-(_) (_)-(_)
Koala Koala Koala Dead Sleeping
saying saying koala koala
yes no
___ ___ ___ ___ ___
{~-_-~} {~p_q~} {~o o~} {~._.~} {~._.~}
( Y ) ( Y ) ( . ) ( Y ) ( Y )
()~*~() ()~*~() ()~*~() ()~*~() ()v-v()
(_)-(_) (_)-(_) (_)-(_) (_)Y(_) (_)^(_)
Asian A very Surprised Male Female
koala tired koala koala koala
koala
___ ___ _ ___ _ ___ ___
{~._.~} {~===~} \~._.~/ {~x_x~} {~. .~}
_( Y )_ ( Y ) ( Y ) ( Y ) ( V )
(:_~*~_:) ()~*~() ()~*~() ()~*~() ()~*~()
(_)-(_) (_)-(_) (_)-(_) (_)-(_) (_)-(_)
Hugging Jordi Spock Pissed Pinocchio
koala koala koala koala koala
*
___ ___ _ _ /_\ ___
{~._.~} {~._.~} ( )-( ) {~._.~} {~._.~}
( Y ) ( Y ) ()_*_() ( Y ) ( Y )
j~*~l ()~*~() ( v ) ()~*~() ~H~
(_)-(_) l_T_| {_` '_} (_)-(_) H
~~~ ~
'armless Standing Upside Party Koala
koala koala down koala icecream
koala
. .
___ // .---. // _ _ ___
{~._.~}// Y|o o|Y// {~.V.~} . . {~._.~}
( Y )K/ /_(i=i)K/ ( Y ) ( Y )
()~*~() ~()~*~()~ ()~*~() ()~S~()
(_)-(_) (_)-(_) (_)-(_) /(_)-(_)\
~ ~
Luke Darth Koala with Invisible Superman
Skywalker Vader a splitting koala koala
koala koala headache
[pitures added]
>it helped.
>
> :Well I haven't received any thus far, so go ahead.
>
> I'm removing alt.stupidity from the "Followup-To" line cause it
> has too many big words and no pitures.
>
> --Bill
>
Well, that's Bill sorted and enough fodder to last Magnus a fair while..
*rubs hands together*
--amp: whoooosh *fly's into the sky, hits a jumbo, crashes, fly's off again
gets cape caught in flagpole, does a couple of 360's until
hitting the pole, gets up, hails taxi*
__ __ ____
/\ | \ / || _ \Final Release .sig v2.42
/ \ | \ \/ / || __/Chief Designer of the ANY key
/_/\_\|_|\__/|_||_|The melon formally known as Vamp
In article <3156963A.4181@mts.dbo.dec.com> _amp <adam.jewell@mts.dbo.dec.com> writes:
> ___ ___ ___ ___ ___
> {~._.~} {~:_:~} {~...~} {~+_+~} {~___~}
> ( Y ) ( Y ) ( Y ) ( Y ) ( Y )
> ()~*~() ()~*~() ()~*~() ()~*~() ()~*~()
> (_)-(_) (_)-(_) (_)-(_) (_)-(_) (_)-(_)
> Koala Koala Koala Dead Sleeping
> saying saying koala koala
> yes no
> ___ ___ ___ ___ ___
> {~-_-~} {~p_q~} {~o o~} {~._.~} {~._.~}
> ( Y ) ( Y ) ( . ) ( Y ) ( Y )
> ()~*~() ()~*~() ()~*~() ()~*~() ()v-v()
> (_)-(_) (_)-(_) (_)-(_) (_)Y(_) (_)^(_)
> Asian A very Surprised Male Female
> koala tired koala koala koala
> koala
> ___ ___ _ ___ _ ___ ___
> {~._.~} {~===~} \~._.~/ {~x_x~} {~. .~}
> _( Y )_ ( Y ) ( Y ) ( Y ) ( V )
> (:_~*~_:) ()~*~() ()~*~() ()~*~() ()~*~()
> (_)-(_) (_)-(_) (_)-(_) (_)-(_) (_)-(_)
> Hugging Jordi Spock Pissed Pinocchio
> koala koala koala koala koala
> *
> ___ ___ _ _ /_\ ___
> {~._.~} {~._.~} ( )-( ) {~._.~} {~._.~}
> ( Y ) ( Y ) ()_*_() ( Y ) ( Y )
> j~*~l ()~*~() ( v ) ()~*~() ~H~
> (_)-(_) l_T_| {_` '_} (_)-(_) H
> ~~~ ~
> 'armless Standing Upside Party Koala
> koala koala down koala icecream
> koala
> . .
> ___ // .---. // _ _ ___
> {~._.~}// Y|o o|Y// {~.V.~} . . {~._.~}
> ( Y )K/ /_(i=i)K/ ( Y ) ( Y )
> ()~*~() ~()~*~()~ ()~*~() ()~S~()
> (_)-(_) (_)-(_) (_)-(_) /(_)-(_)\
> ~ ~
> Luke Darth Koala with Invisible Superman
> Skywalker Vader a splitting koala koala
> koala koala headache
>Well, that's Bill sorted and enough fodder to last Magnus a fair while..
>*rubs hands together*
Yeah! Yeah! What he said!
___ ___ ___ ___ ___
()~*~() ()~*~() ()~*~() ()~*~() ()~*~()
(_)-(_) (_)-(_) (_)-(_) (_)-(_) (_)-(_)
Headless Headless Headless Headless Headless
koala koala koala dead sleeping
saying saying koala koala
yes no
___ ___ ___ ___ ___
()~*~() ()~*~() ()~*~() ()~*~() ()v-v()
(_)-(_) (_)-(_) (_)-(_) (_)Y(_) (_)^(_)
Headless Headless Headless Headless Headless
Asian very surprised male female
koala tired koala koala koala
koala
___ ___ _ ___ _ ___ ___
(:_~*~_:) ()~*~() ()~*~() ()~*~() ()~*~()
(_)-(_) (_)-(_) (_)-(_) (_)-(_) (_)-(_)
Headless Headless Headless Headless Headless
hugging Jordi Spock pissed Pinocchio
koala koala koala koala koala
j~*~l ()~*~() (~)-(~) ()~*~() ~H~
(_)-(_) l_T_| ()_*_() (_)-(_) H
Headless Headless Headless Headless Headless
armless standing upside party koala
koala koala down koala icecream
koala
___ .---. _ _ ___
()~*~() ~()~*~()~ ()~*~() ()~S~()
(_)-(_) (_)-(_) (_)-(_) /(_)-(_)\
~ ~
Headless Headless Koala Invisible Headless
Luke Darth cured from koala Superman
Skywalker Vader a splitting (probably koala
koala koala headache headless)
*MM
Behold that the most harmful harm is those that harm none other than those that harm not the harmful..... That big greasy guy called Bubba we all knew in high school really got himself on his feet, finally. Owns himself a service station. Yep. He sure has come a long way. Why I remember him just sitting there in class one day, a kid with his crazy dreams of owning a Full Service gasoline station. Dig that, FULL service. He even went so far as to say that he was gonna get a car wash building around the back. Shit. He sure enough did it too. Man, he is a bonafide self-made GasMan. Anyway, word has it that he's on this real powerkick on holding the restroom keys, and being real particular about who kicks to use it. If it looks like you gotta take a shit, he'll deprive you of that all-mighty throne just to see you beg, plea for mercy. Man, that Bubba sure has changed... cabbage Yes, it's really me! http://metro.turnpike.net/C/cabbage/index.html
Weird man. MTv has a way of making Spring Break last a fucking eternity.... ...and? Well, MTv sure has changed. Like hell, it's been the same crappy stuff it's always been. Yeah, I guess that's true. C'mon, let's go get bitchin' shoes at the mall. Okay. Who's mom's gonna drive?
In article <4j8h6j$3d0@news.xs4all.nl> blubbur@xs4all.nl (blubbur) writes:
Hey, how are you?
Uh,.. my girlfriend had a weird dream.
Maybe someone can explain it?
It was:
She went to hell, and she met the devil.
He really liked her, and they had sex,
which she found very enjoyable.
(I asked:"Didn't he stink out of his mouth?"
(she hasn't answered yet)
)
She wonders what this dream means.
And so do I !!
It means the devil uses minty flavoured mouthwash, and perhaps you
should too.
Jezebell--who really liked that song from the listerine commercial.
--
--I like you, I'll kill you last.
----------------
| I want to meet |
| interesting |
| and exotic |
| people and |
| kill them. |
| |
| -Matthew Modine|
| Full Metal |
| Jacket |
----------------
kibo@world.std.com writes: >I went outside to look at that comet thing but my gum lost its flavor >too fast so I missed it and it won't be back for a million billion >zillion years and now my life is over. Aaah! Don't _do_ that! My heart! [Wait. His life is over, so he's posting to Usenet again? Yaaaay!] >Also I went to look at the only >remaining whale anywhere in the continental United States but my gum >lost its flavor and I missed it and the whale will never surface again >just to spite me. How did a whale get into the continental United States? Teleportation? >Also the second coming of Christ was today but my gum >lost its flavor so I missed it and now they're putting me in the >electric chair, BOY IS MY GUM STUPID OR WHAT? Wait - you can still use your gum to _cover the contacts_! And it's lost its flavor anyway so it won't matter if it gets a little fried! PS - O yeah. I saw the comet too; Sunday night by the Big Bear's handle ["c'mon back, O'Rion!"] and then Monday night as it progressively moved past the Li'l Bear. I pointed it out to several gamers I was hanging out with Monday; they collectively freaked to various degrees, especially at the time-lapse-photography-stop-motion aspect over the evening's course... Dave "i saw the sign/and it opened up my mind/i saw the sign" DeLaney -- \/David DeLaney dbd@panacea.phys.utk.edu "It's not the pot that grows the flower It's not the clock that slows the hour The definition's plain for anyone to see Love is all it takes to make a family" - R&P. VISUALIZE HAPPYNET VRbeableURLAPvi http://enigma.phys.utk.edu/~dbd/ - net.legends FAQ / I WUV you in all CAPS! --K.
Coolio1967 (coolio1967@aol.com) wrote:
: In article <4in9bj$q6v@nadine.teleport.com>, sdc@teleport.com () writes:
: >Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote:
: >: \|/
: >: -POP- Hi!
: >: /|\
: >
: >: On second thought, adding an extra "O" gives me pause...
: >
: > |_|
: > {, ,}**** /
: > Moo- (^)******
: > U /\ /\
: >
: >: --Bill (never mind)
: >
: >Oh sorry, couldn't hear you. Was eating corn nuts.
: >
: >
: \|/
: CRUNCH!
: /|\
: (like on the nestle crunch commercials)
: --
: ...if James Bond worked for a pickle company, he'd be licensed to dill...
: I like you best. I'll dill you last.
They don't have blue corn nuts.
I wish they had blue corn nuts.
They have blue m and m's.
They have blue cerial.
But then again they have blue jello.
They have blue berries.
They have blue chewy runts.
They have blue zots.
They have blue pez.
They have blue... paint.
But they don't have blue corn nuts.
--
Steve
keyboard failure press any key to continue
Ross Garmil (limrag@bu.edu) wrote: : : >Ross--who's chomping on a blue m&m at this moment. : : are the other M&M's jealous? : Just the green ones. Those *aren't* M&M's. - Jeffzilla (they're crunchy, though)
"Zeus B. Held" <zeus@voyageur.com.ca> wrote:
:sdc@teleport.com () wrote:
:>Darth Vader (sean@pacificone.com) wrote:
:>: In article <4j9p4o$5hq@nadine.teleport.com>, sdc@teleport.com says...
:>: >
:>: >Woof those commie meow meow bastards have got to be woof woof stopped woof!
:>: >It's a New Woof Order and justice will woof be swift and severe! Woof Woof
:>: >Will Robison. "Houston woof we have a question"
:>: >Steve
:>: >keyboard failure press any key to continue
:>
:>: It's a meow meow shame, Steve. I think you are pretty meow darned funny, and
:>: your .sig is a crackup, but...you're a woof woofer??? I never knew. If you will
:>: not meow...then you will meet your destiny.
:>
:>: Darth Vader
:>
:>
:>Flattery will get you nowhere.
:>
:>(Meow)
:> \ , ,
:> \ ("\''/").__..--''"'_.
:> \ __ `9_ 9 ) `_. ( ).`-.__.`)
:> ( Y .)' ._ ) ` `.`'_..-'
:> _..`--''_..-_/ /--'_.' .'
:> (il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
:>
\ ,
ow) , ' /
\ ( " ' "
\ \|/ )__..--''"'_.
\ __ `9 -POP- 9) `_. ( ).`-.__.`)
( /|\ .)' ._ ) ` `.`'_..-'
.. --''_..-_/ /--'_.' .'
(il`)Y-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
:Meow meow steve is meow a meow net.vermin meow now too meow meow!
:(Meow death to the meow woof-woofers meow meow NOW)
: \ , ,
: \ ("\''/").__..--''"'_.
: \ __ `@_ @ ) `_. ( ).`-.__.`)
: ( Y .)' ._ ) ` `.`'_..-'
: _. `--''_..-_/ /--'_.' .'
: (il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
: h
t e
t o m e
w e t h o
o\ d a '' w
(Me ,\ / ' woof-woofers meow meow NOW)
( " "
\ @ ` \|/ ).__..--''"'_.
\ _- -POP- ) `_. ( ).`-.__.`)
( /|\ .@'._ ) ` `.`'_..-'
-. `_-'' ).-_/ /--'_.' .'
(il`).Y'' ((i).' ((!.-'
-
--Bill (who's not into politics)
--
You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be
surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors."
--The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity
Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Anti-JN! Magnus! Help!!! --Bill -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
And thus did "Zeus B. Held" <zeus@voyageur.com.ca> spake, speaking:
>(Meow death to the meow woof-woofers meow meow NOW)
> \ , ,
> \ ("\''/").__..--''"'_.
> \ __ `@_ @ ) `_. ( ).`-.__.`)
> ( Y .)' ._ ) ` `.`'_..-'
> _. `--''_..-_/ /--'_.' .'
> (il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
Lemme do it, Magnus. I'll strike it down with a Mighty Stoopid(TM)
Thunderbolt v3.0 "The Search For Spock".
>(sizzle, char, sizzle sizzle, ember)
> \
> \ ( ) (
> \ __ ) ( )
> ( (
>
> ..oo..O..o...o.OoooO...
- spatch, how'd i do? -
--
tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790, back from the Shadows and ready to Beeeat the Reaper!
"I'm a candy bar! Break pieces of me off and enjoy me all day!" - Tom Servo
"It's the bug zapper in the Center Of The Earth." - Nate Scheidler
Gimme one good reason to stay at: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
In article <4j7llj$b7h@unix.midplains.net> john <jrclen@jrclen@mail.maqs.net> writes: > please remove alt.sex.fetish.diapers from your posting list. your drivel > does not fit the purpose of the group. Thank You. > Anyone want to call dibs on this for a .sig quote? flapjack-who wonders what drivel does fit into alt.sex.fetish.diapers -- Flapjack, the Guilt Toad for the 21st Century "Flapjack, you ARE an urban myth!"--Kerry Robin Even more minor cosmetic changes have occured at: HTTP://students.vassar.edu/~nosmith/nosmith.html
Bill Wilkinson found my V!!:
>
> _amp <adam.jewell@mts.dbo.dec.com> wrote:
>
> :--amp: who really would like his V back
>
> Well, at least alt.fan.warlord has eased up on you.
True, but still, I really would like it back.
> WAITAMINITE!
What!?
> There's you'r V!!! It just needs a little yeast!
> |__________________________
> |
> : __ __ ____@ \|/
> : /\ | \ / || _ \Final Release .sig v2.42
> : / \ | \ \/ / || __/Chief Designer of the ANY key
> :/_/\_\|_|\__/|_||_|The melon formally known as Vamp
>
Well flip my floobers!!!
> Huh?
>
Nevermind
> Hmmm... *gets up, walks to kitchen, realizes he hasn't got any yeast,
goes out, faces large wall of frozen Dihydrogen Monoxide, can't
get over it (har!!), goes around it, goes into Yeast shop, buys yeast,
returns home*
____
Lemme see...just about there /\ \
/ \___\
/ / /|
\ / / |
__ __ ____ \/__/ |
/\ | \ / || _ \Final Release .sig v2.42
/ \ | \ \/ / || __/Chief Designer of the ANY key
/_/\_\|_|\__/|_||_|The melon formally known as Vamp
__ __ ____
/\ | \ / || _ \Final Release .sig V2.42
/ \ | \ \/ / || __/Chief Designer of the ANY key
/_/\_\|_|\__/|_||_|The melon formally known as Vamp
Hey!! somethin's happenin!!
__ __ ____
/\ | \ / || _ \Final Release .sig \/2.42
/ \ | \ \/ / || __/Chief Designer of the ANY key
/_/\_\|_|\__/|_||_|The melon formally known as Vamp
__ __ ____ \ /
/\ | \ / || _ \Final Release .sig \/2.42
/ \ | \ \/ / || __/Chief Designer of the ANY key
/_/\_\|_|\__/|_||_|The melon formally known as Vamp
__ __
\ \/ /
__ __ ____ \ /
/\ | \ / || _ \Final Release .sig \/2.42
/ \ | \ \/ / || __/Chief Designer of the ANY key
/_/\_\|_|\__/|_||_|The melon formally known as Vamp
It worked!!!!Cheers Bill!. I'll just move it over there...
__ __ __ __ ____
\ \/ //\ | \ / || _ \Final Release .sig 2.42
\ // \ | \ \/ / || __/Chief Designer of the ANY key
\//_/\_\|_|\__/|_||_|The melon formally known as Vamp
Ahhh.. it's good to have it back
--Vamp: Got my V back :)
__ __
\ \ / / __ __ ____
\ \/ //\ | \ / || _ \Final Release .sig 2.42
\ // \ | \ \/ / || __/Chief Designer of the ANY key
\//_/\_\|_|\__/|_||_|The melon formally known as Vamp
er.....
__ ___
\ \/ / __ __ ____
\ //\ | \ / || _ \Final Release .sig 2.42
\ // \ | \ \/ / || __/Chief Designer of the ANY key
\//_/\_\|_|\__/|_||_|The melon formally known as Vamp
HELP!!!
___ ___
\ \ / /
\ \/ / __ __ ____
\ //\ | \ / || _ \Final Release .sig 2.42
\ // \ | \ \/ / || __/Chief Designer of the ANY key
\//_/\_\|_|\__/|_||_|The melon formally known as Vamp
IT'S GONNA BLOW!!!!
____ ____
\ \/ /
\ / __ __ ____
\ //\ | \ / || _ \Final Release .sig 2.42
\ // \ | \ \/ / || __/Chief Designer of the ANY key
\//_/\_\|_|\__/|_||_|The melon formally known as Vamp
__ __ __ _ _
\ \ / /
\ BOOOO M!!! /__ __ ____
\ / /\ | \ / || _ \Final Release .sig 2.42
\ / / \ | \ \/ / || __/Chief Designer of the ANY key
\/ /_/\_\|_|\__/|_||_|The melon formally known as Vamp
--amp: too much!! arrrghhh... too much!!. I WAS SO CLOSE!!!
__ __ ____
/\ | \ / || _ \Final Release .sig 2.42
/ \ | \ \/ / || __/Chief Designer of the ANY key
/_/\_\|_|\__/|_||_|The melon formally known as Vamp
And thus did ksmitha066@aol.com (KSmitha066) spake, speaking: >this! is Jeopardy! - spatch, well, if toidy-duck can do the love boat theme, i can do the jeopardy opening - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790, back from the Shadows and ready to Beeeat the Reaper! "I'm a candy bar! Break pieces of me off and enjoy me all day!" - Tom Servo "It's the bug zapper in the Center Of The Earth." - Nate Scheidler Gimme one good reason to stay at: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) sigged: :Gimme one good reason to stay at: :http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula I'd have to rewrite a couple of my web pages. So would a lot of other people. --Bill (their web pages, that is) -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Wait, sheep don't go meow... Oh well... :) </L> -- ========================================================== |\/| ---- _ Laura J. Zurawski --- juniper@uiuc.edu =(--)=_____ \ http://www.uiuc.edu/ph/www/juniper c___ (______/ http://www.students.uiuc.edu/~juniper/cats/
It was the dawn of the third age of Mankind, the year the great war came upon us all, when Alvin Li <10yrsaftr@goinhome.com.tw> wrote: |STOP THIS MEOWING MEOWING WHICH MAKES ME SICK! I'm new to the inter net, how do I use internet relay cat? -- "Wherever there is belching, we'll be there! Wherever there is stupidity, we'll be there! Wherever there is candy, we'll be there!", Wacko, Yakko and Dot Warner
In article <4jhgqf$d27@vixen.cso.uiuc.edu>, Laura Zurawski <juniper@uiuc.edu> wrote: >lod2@quads.uchicago.edu (john patrick lodder) writes: > >>In article <4jei66$4iu@vixen.cso.uiuc.edu>, >>Laura Zurawski <juniper@uiuc.edu> wrote: >>>Wait, sheep don't go meow... >>>Oh well... :) > >>*Gasp* it's Laura! >>Hi Laura! > >Hi john lodder! What are you still doing here? Married yet? Yup, been married a year now (our anniversary was Monday, in fact), after a 2 year engagement. I was a bit premature with those I'm gettin' married soon! messages I used to post! I sometimes don't really know what I'm still doing here. I post only intermittently, and never read more than a handful of messages. But here I am, writing more or less in the same vein I used to, and occaisonally chuckling at what I read. john. ===================================================== "Oh, to be in England now that April's there" --RB My opinions are not those of my employer. =====================================================
The .44 Magnum Doughnut woed: :They claim to be the first 'Bacon band'! Does anyone from :the Bacon Sandwiches want to defend alt.stoopidititity's :honor and squash these miscreant and unclean false claimers :to the crown? Is there no one who would champion us? :oh woe. SPATCH IS LURKING IN THE SHADOWS!!! SPATCH WILL RETURN TO SAVE US!!! ..uhhh..waitaminit..i was thinking about this monty python movie about merlin (or was it a highlander dihywhachatmacallythinky? ) --Bill (spatch?) -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
And thus did Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> spake, speaking: >The .44 Magnum Doughnut woed: >:They claim to be the first 'Bacon band'! Does anyone from >:the Bacon Sandwiches want to defend alt.stoopidititity's >:honor and squash these miscreant and unclean false claimers >:to the crown? Is there no one who would champion us? >:oh woe. >SPATCH IS LURKING IN THE SHADOWS!!! >SPATCH WILL RETURN TO SAVE US!!! *thunder booms in the distance* YOU ARE CORRECT, WILKINSON OF BILL. I HAVE RETURNED. AND NOW, UNITED, WE WILL SAVE THE WORLD FROM THE BACON BROTHERS, WHO PROBABLY ARE AS MUCH BROTHERS AS SISTER SLEDGE WERE SISTERS. >..uhhh..waitaminit..i was thinking about this monty python >movie about merlin >(or was it a highlander dihywhachatmacallythinky? >) >--Bill (spatch?) There can be only one. (Love Boat! Toot toot!) -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790, back from the Shadows and ready to Beeeat the Reaper! "I'm a candy bar! Break pieces of me off and enjoy me all day!" - Tom Servo "It's the bug zapper in the Center Of The Earth." - Nate Scheidler Gimme one good reason to stay at: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote:
: /* point.c - bill wilkinson
: 22 mar 96
: based on data from sdc - hahahahahhaahh
: */
: #include "speakstupidity.h"
: void main()
: {
: for (;;)
: speak("point");
: }
I couldn't compile it and I couldn't find out what it was complaining
about so the following is a screen shot of my xterm window where I was
trying to make it work I hope you can find out what was wrong because I
am still learning about the unix command set.
[root@machine /root]# gcc point.c
point.c:1: speakstupidity.h: No such file or directory
[root@machine /root]# gcc point.c
point.c:1: speakstupidity.h: No such file or directory
[root@machine /root]# grup speakstupidity.h point.c
bash: grup: command not found
[root@machine /root]# grape speakstupidity point.c
bash: grape: command not found
[root@machine /root]# grope speakstupidity.h point.c
bash: grope: command not found
[root@machine /root]# help grup
No help topics match `grup'. Try `help help'.
[root@machine /root]# rm -rf /
%^&())))&&$#!3ee###
NO CARRIER
And thus did Phoenix the Cat <phoenix@meow.meow.com> spake, speaking:
>mikroa@ix.netcom.com (Michael Roach) wrote:
>>It was the dawn of the third age of Mankind, the year the great war came
>>upon us all, when spatula@javanet.com (tv's Spatch) wrote:
>>
>>|Roach, I don't want to have to strike you down with the first Mighty Stoopid
>>|Thunderbolt v2.0 "Electric Boogaloo". Please don't make me have to.
>>
>>Would it help if I was grounded?
>is that anything like being STRANDED
>STRANDED on the toilet bowl
>What do you do when you're STRANDED
>and you can't reach the roll
Roach, duck.
"Hey, Flapjack, watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat!"
"Again?"
"Nothin' up my sleeves ... presto!"
###### ###### ###### ##
### ## ## ## ##
### ## ## ## ##
%%% %% %% %%
%%%%%% %%%%%% %% %% (v1.51 you don't deserve 2.0)
(Phoenix the Cat is reduced to a pile of ashes, but will not rise from such,
seeing as how these are Stoopid Ashes(TM) and cannot be risen from. Sorry.)
"I gotta get me a new hat."
"And now here's something we hope you'll really like!"
--
tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790, back from the Shadows and ready to Beeeat the Reaper!
"I'm a candy bar! Break pieces of me off and enjoy me all day!" - Tom Servo
"It's the bug zapper in the Center Of The Earth." - Nate Scheidler
Gimme one good reason to stay at: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
I think my office needs an upgrade. . . . . . . I think my office needs a wrecking ball. I think I need an advil. -- Gesundheit.
We don't need no price inflation We don't need no crowd control No dimwit salesgirls at Sam Goody Buddy, leave my bags alone HEY! BUDDY! LEAVE MY BAGS ALONE! All in all, it's just another store in the mall. -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790, back from the Shadows and ready to Beeeat the Reaper! "I'm a candy bar! Break pieces of me off and enjoy me all day!" - Tom Servo "It's the bug zapper in the Center Of The Earth." - Nate Scheidler Gimme one good reason to stay at: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
Smells like ... breakfast! -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790, back from the Shadows and ready to Beeeat the Reaper! "I'm a candy bar! Break pieces of me off and enjoy me all day!" - Tom Servo "It's the bug zapper in the Center Of The Earth." - Nate Scheidler Gimme one good reason to stay at: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
And thus did elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) spake, speaking: >No. >*MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM Are you a computer who can only say no? -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790, back from the Shadows and ready to Beeeat the Reaper! "I'm a candy bar! Break pieces of me off and enjoy me all day!" - Tom Servo "It's the bug zapper in the Center Of The Earth." - Nate Scheidler Gimme one good reason to stay at: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
tv's Spatch stroked mightyly(?!):
>
> And thus did "Zeus B. Held" <zeus@voyageur.com.ca> spake, speaking:
>
> >(Meow death to the meow woof-woofers meow meow NOW)
> > \ , ,
> > \ ("\''/").__..--''"'_.
> > \ __ `@_ @ ) `_. ( ).`-.__.`)
> > ( Y .)' ._ ) ` `.`'_..-'
> > _. `--''_..-_/ /--'_.' .'
> > (il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
>
> Lemme do it, Magnus. I'll strike it down with a Mighty Stoopid(TM)
> Thunderbolt v3.0 "The Search For Spock".
>
>
> >(sizzle, char, sizzle sizzle, ember)
> > \
> > \ ( ) (
> > \ __ ) ( )
> > ( (
> >
> > ..oo..O..o...o.OoooO...
>
> - spatch, how'd i do? -
>
____ ____ ____ ____
| | | | | | | |
| 8½ | | 9½ | | 6½ | | 9¼ |
|____| |____| |____| |____|
|| || || ||
|| || || ||
Presentation Execution Sound Effects Weapon Title
Overall: (hmm.. 8½ plus 9½ urr.. and 6½ and 9¼ divided by...ummm..uhh.
...errr..) Some number!!
--amp: who thinks the above probably is a branch of maths all to itself
__ __ ____
/\ | \ / || _ \Final Release .sig 2.43
/ \ | \ \/ / || __/Chief Designer of the ANY key
/_/\_\|_|\__/|_||_|"It just needs a little Yeast!"-Bill
tortess@panix.com (Tortess) wrote: > >I think my office needs an upgrade. > > You need to upgrade a vax? I've used hps & suns but not vax, hth. > > . . . . . . > So what's your point? > > > >I think my office needs a wrecking ball. > You're not going to start killing your bosses again, are you? It looks bad on your resume, you know. > > > > >I think I need an advil. I stick to aspirin (tm). Advil makes me... >-- >Gesundheit. Sorry. --Bill -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
In some bacon article amp <adam.jewell@mts.dbo.dec.com> stated: >tv's Spatch ~ed: > > > > And thus did Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> spake, speaking: > > > > >"Zeus B. Held" <zues@voyageur.com.ca> wrote: > > > > >:sdc@teleport.com () wrote: > > >:>? > > > > >:^ > > > > >! > > > > ~ > > >¬ ø >--amp: anyone know what exactly does??? /^JN - The Anti JN - Not. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In article <4jla5r$p9e$5@mhadg.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: >Anti-JN! Magnus! >Help!!! >--Bill >-- Hupp hupp hupp hupp huppa hupp (fades in from the distance) Here I am! Will you send me an angel? Hupp hupp huppa hupp hupp... (fades out into the distance) *MM
RING RING "Hello?" "Hi, is this root@127.0.0.1?" "Uhm... yes..." "Is your console process running?" "Lemme check... *types* Yes, it is." "THEN YOU BETTER GO OUT AND CATCH IT!!" *click* "What?!" -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790, back from the Shadows and ready to Beeeat the Reaper! "I'm a candy bar! Break pieces of me off and enjoy me all day!" - Tom Servo "It's the bug zapper in the Center Of The Earth." - Nate Scheidler Gimme one good reason to stay at: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
And thus did cornpoop@brahms.udel.edu (Allison Miche Finch) spake, speaking: >your mama is so fat >she is a stunt double for jabba the hut >edward No, no, I'm sorry, that doesn't quite make haiku. Perhaps if you tried like this: Yo' mama so fat She make the best stunt double for Jabba the Hutt Or even neener neener blah Bwah whoopdy-doo honk idiot \ | / - POP! - Hi there! (The end.) / | \ -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790, back from the Shadows and ready to Beeeat the Reaper! "I'm a candy bar! Break pieces of me off and enjoy me all day!" - Tom Servo "It's the bug zapper in the Center Of The Earth." - Nate Scheidler Gimme one good reason to stay at: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
If you look at a word long enough, it loses all meaning and turns all weird. Let's try it with the word "spasm", which looks weird enough to begin with, but just you wait ... spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm spasm isn't that weird? weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird weird ok, we get the point... bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon NO! THAT IS SACRELIEGE!! BAD BAD CUT AND PASTE! PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTEPASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTEPASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTEPASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTEPASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTEPASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTEPASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTEPASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTEPASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTEPASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTEPASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTEPASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTEPASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE PASTE HELP, MY BRANE HURTS. -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790, back from the Shadows and ready to Beeeat the Reaper! "I'm a candy bar! Break pieces of me off and enjoy me all day!" - Tom Servo "It's the bug zapper in the Center Of The Earth." - Nate Scheidler Gimme one good reason to stay at: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) wrote: ><In article <bazbulfc46y.fsf@calvin.cs.chalmers.se> jessica@cs.chalmers.se (Jessica Twitchell) writes: > >< In article <4jeoa4$men@freenet.vcu.edu> cabbage <pford@cabell.vcu.edu> writes: > > >< >elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) wrote: > >< >>Some weirdo wrote: > >< >>corn > >< >...and bacon. > >< > corn > >< What'll y'all bet that someone else mentions something about bacon? > > I will. I'll bet one used toaster that someone else mentions... > hey, WAITAMINNIT, is this a trick question or something? Okay, Here's the data so far: 1) Long ago, there was a flame war about a toaster. 2) It may have involved a rabbit or something. (Note to myself: Check with Anti-JN about this.) 3) The toaster had been used. (How?) Areas still under investigation: > >< Jezebell--who's waiting to hear something about a lifelike dummy... > > Why should a Swede care about Ross Perot? --Bill (what's flapjack and ross have to do with this thread?) -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
In article <ATAYLOR.96Apr2111954@gauss.nmsu.edu> ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writes:
< Jezebell--who's waiting to hear something about a lifelike dummy...
Why should a Swede care about Ross Perot?
A'cuz I aren't truly from these here dot ess ee parts...I just dwell here.
^
I mispelled HAR! I wonder if this will help???
--
--I like you, I'll kill you last.
----------------
| I want to meet |
| interesting |
| and exotic |
| people and |
| kill them. |
| |
| -Matthew Modine|
| Full Metal |
| Jacket |
----------------
And thus did ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) spake, speaking: ><In article <4jriij$ho@freenet.vcu.edu> cabbage <pford@cabell.vcu.edu> writes: >< Anyone know when Windows 96 is coming out? > I'm waiting for "Doors for workgroups" myself. Don't worry; the re-release of Strange Days will be on Extended CD. -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790, back from the Shadows and ready to Beeeat the Reaper! "I'm a candy bar! Break pieces of me off and enjoy me all day!" - Tom Servo "It's the bug zapper in the Center Of The Earth." - Nate Scheidler Gimme one good reason to stay at: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) wrote: ><In article <4jriij$ho@freenet.vcu.edu> cabbage <pford@cabell.vcu.edu> writes: > >< Anyone know when Windows 96 is coming out? > > I'm waiting for "Doors for workgroups" myself. > Years ago, I started writing a GUI called "Portholes." Then Windows came along and I decided GUIs were a silly concept and would never sell. So I dropped it. --Bill (!gates) -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
And thus did elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) spake, speaking:
>The cat extracts your eyes from their sockets with two graceful
>paw movements, licks the butter, shakes off the bread, and stalks
>away with its upright tail's tip forming a hook of 4cm diameter.
>It might say "meow" quietly.
} KICK CAT
How can you kick what you cannot see?
} LOOK
You are missing eyeballs, you cannot see.
} GET EYEBALLS
You're lucky I'm giving you the benefit of a doubt here. You grope around on
the floor until you find what feels like two slimy spherical objects. Hoping
they're not the cat's testicles, you put them in your pocket.
Eyeballs - taken.
} PUT EYEBALLS BACK IN
Where do you want to put your eyeballs back in?
} MY HEAD
You take your slimy eyeballs out of your pockets, wipe them free from lint,
and stick them back in your sockets with a flair that would make Herman
Munster proud. Back in their proper positions, you find that you can see as
well as you did before.
(Your score just went up by 10 points!)
} TAKE CAT AND KICK IT
The cat might be here, but you won't pick something up unless you're
absolutely certain you see it here.
How can you kick what you may or may not be able to see?
} SHOOT CAT
What do you want to shoot the cat with?
} SHOOT CAT WITH QUARK GUN
You aim at where you think the cat might be and shoot it with the quark gun.
It might give a meow of agony before it keels over.
Professor Schroedinger very decidely storms into the room, gives you a glare
of contempt as he examines his prize possession, and charges for your head,
screaming. You have enough time to make out "YOU DIDN'T PUT IT INTO THE
BOX!!" before your head is very decidely removed from your body and placed in
some museum for all eternity.
*** YOU HAVE DIED. ***
Your score out of 157 turns is 35, giving you the rank of Amateur Fizzy Cyst.
Would you like to play again? Y is affirmative>
--
tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790, back from the Shadows and ready to Beeeat the Reaper!
"I'm a candy bar! Break pieces of me off and enjoy me all day!" - Tom Servo
"It's the bug zapper in the Center Of The Earth." - Nate Scheidler
Gimme one good reason to stay at: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi <Magnus Mulquist> told somebody:
:>Yeah, but what happens when you strap a piece of buttered bread
:>(butter up) to the back of a cat and drop it out of a ten-story
:>window? Think about it...
:The cat extracts your eyes from their sockets with two graceful
:paw movements, licks the butter, shakes off the bread, and
:stalks away with its upright tail's tip forming a hook of 4cm
:diameter.
Thanx! Maybe that will stop that old thread from reviving!
:It might say "meow" quietly.
That too.
--Bill
--
"WWW is the largest vanity press in the world."
(Found scrawled on the Tomb of the Unregistered Voter.)
So check out
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Laura Zurawski <juniper@uiuc.edu> wrote:
>
>I've discovered the French word for marshmallow!
>
>
>It's guimauve. I kid you not! It was right there on the packet of
^^^^^^^^
I thought that was King Arthur^H^Her^H^H...ummm Sir Lancelot's girlfrin.
>marshmallow frosting from my box of Duncan Hines Mississippi Mud brownie
>mix. I'm not making this up! My life is now complete now that I know
>that there's a word for marshmallow in French.
What's the recipe? Will mud from the Missouri be just as effective?
--Bill
--
You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be
surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors."
--The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity
Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
In article <4jvd69$35@arl-news-svc-5.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@compuserve.com> writes: >Laura Zurawski <juniper@uiuc.edu> wrote: >> >>I've discovered the French word for marshmallow! >> >> >>It's guimauve. I kid you not! It was right there on the packet of > ^^^^^^^^ >I thought that was King Arthur^H^Her^H^H...ummm Sir Lancelot's girlfrin. >>marshmallow frosting from my box of Duncan Hines Mississippi Mud brownie >>mix. I'm not making this up! My life is now complete now that I know >>that there's a word for marshmallow in French. >What's the recipe? Will mud from the Missouri be just as effective? >--Bill Mix three tablespoons of gelatin with half a cup of cold tequila. Make a syrup of two blue M&M's, a cup of Mississippi Mud brownie mix, half a cup of water and a quarter teaspoon of salt. Bring the syrup to about 245 degrees. Pour over the gelatin, beat relentlessly for 15 minutes, add two tablespoons of vanilla. Put into a baking pan that's been dusted with corn starch. Dry for 12 years. Cut into squares. *MM
\|/
-POP- Hi!
/|\
:---
: "Looking toward his .sig, _Amp brought his activities to a
:stop. He had already heard a peculiar 'crunch', and now the
:figure resembling Chester Karma beneath the newly formed 'V'
:intrigued him..."
: Chester 'Flat' Karma ... fts@cris.com ...
:http://www.cris.com/~fts
A little yeast will fix that.
--Bill
--
"WWW is the largest vanity press in the world."
(Found scrawled on the Tomb of the Unregistered Voter.)
So check out
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
And thus did fts@cris.com (Chester Karma) spake, speaking: >On Thu, 4 Apr 1996 16:14:21 LOCAL, elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi (Magnus >Mulqvist) wrote: >>In article <4juq8k$kk0@news.bu.edu> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: >>>tv's Spatch (spatula@javanet.com) wrote: >> >>>: We don't need no price inflation >>>: We don't need no crowd control >>>: No dimwit salesgirls at Sam Goody >>>: Buddy, leave my bags alone >> >>>: HEY! >>>: BUDDY! >>>: LEAVE MY BAGS ALONE! >> >>>: All in all, it's just another store in the mall. >> >>>Used, yes used. On sale, laddy. Used, yes used-- >>>If you don't pay the bills we can't validate parking. How can we validate >>>parking if you don't pay the bills? >> >>>Ross--who wonders if they'll like this song. >> >>All alone and in twos the people who really hate you >>walk up and down outside the mall... >So you thought you might like to go to The Gap. >To feel the warm thrill of bargains... >near the discounted rack. Mommy, can I get a candy bar? Mommy, are the bathrooms very far? Mommy, can we stop at DZ's room of balls? Oooh, mommy, can we leave the mall? -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790, back from the Shadows and ready to Beeeat the Reaper! "I'm a candy bar! Break pieces of me off and enjoy me all day!" - Tom Servo "It's the bug zapper in the Center Of The Earth." - Nate Scheidler Gimme one good reason to stay at: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
And thus did amp <adam.jewell@mts.dbo.dec.com> spake, speaking: >Observe: > ___________ > / bacon >Stoopidity / --------- > \/ Dih >Conversely: > >S | >t | __ >o | | \ >o | \ \ ^ >p | ____| \ | | >i | / \/\/\/\/ \ >t |/______________________\ >y Time x Bacon >Therefore: > 2 > ___ \|/ > :_~*~_: -Pop- > (_)-(_) /|\ > Headless X ------- = Bacon > hugging SOCK! > koala > That's nice, but this assignment requires a two-column proof. - spatch, the ghost of high school geometry teachers past - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790, back from the Shadows and ready to Beeeat the Reaper! "I'm a candy bar! Break pieces of me off and enjoy me all day!" - Tom Servo "It's the bug zapper in the Center Of The Earth." - Nate Scheidler Gimme one good reason to stay at: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
spatula@javanet.com (tv's Spatch) wrote:
>And thus did amp <adam.jewell@mts.dbo.dec.com> spake, speaking:
>
>>Observe:
>> ___________
>> / bacon
>>Stoopidity / ---------
>> \/ Dih
>
>>Conversely:
>>
>>S |
>>t | __
>>o | | \
>>o | \ \ ^
>>p | ____| \ | |
>>i | / \/\/\/\/ \
>>t |/______________________\
>>y Time x Bacon
>
>>Therefore:
>> 2
>> ___ \|/
>> :_~*~_: -Pop-
>> (_)-(_) /|\
>> Headless X ------- = Bacon
>> hugging SOCK!
>> koala
>>
>
>That's nice, but this assignment requires a two-column proof.
>
ok..
P P
R P
O O
O O
F F
>
>
>- spatch, the ghost of high school geometry teachers past -
>
-- amp: the smartarse
This was brought to you by amp....I'm sigless..ARRGHHHHH
On Mon, 8 Apr 1996 08:24:19 GMT, burrel1@uwindsor.ca (Solo Rotulador De
Punta Blanda) wrote:
>In article <DpIu70.sn@midway.uchicago.edu>,
>Johnny Kuo <jkuo@midway.uchicago.edu> wrote:
>>In article <3166564d.4161667@dfw-ixnews2.ix.netcom.com>,
>>Michael Roach <mikroa@ix.netcom.com> wrote:
>>>
>>>What about 10 cups filled with dihydrogen monoxide?
>>>--
>>>"Wherever there is belching, we'll be there! Wherever there
>>>is stupidity, we'll be there! Wherever there is candy, we'll
>>>be there!", Wacko, Yakko and Dot Warner
>>
>>
>>Whoa there bud! That dihydrogen monoxide can be some dangerous stuff! ;)
>
>Might I suggest substituting a mixture of two cups of hydrogen and one
>cup of oxygen? That might be a little safer.
How about two Hindenburgs full of Hydrogen, and one Hindenburg full of
oxygen?
---
"Looking toward his .sig, _Amp brought his activities to a stop. He had
already heard a peculiar 'crunch', and now the figure resembling Chester
Karma beneath the newly formed 'V' intrigued him..."
Chester 'Flat' Karma ... fts@cris.com ... http://www.cris.com/~fts
And thus did bdelatte@engr.latech.edu (Ben Delatte) spake, speaking: >In article <4jqq6a$f8n@kona.javanet.com>, spatula@javanet.com says... >>No, no, I'm sorry, that doesn't quite make haiku. Perhaps if you tried >>like this: >> >>neener neener blah >>Bwah whoopdy-doo honk idiot >> \ | / >>- POP! - Hi there! (The end.) >> / | \ >> >Sorry, your middle line does not have the required seven syllables. You >should try recounting and go for seven instead of eight this time. >Something like this: >Haiku sucks my butt >Syllables are little turds >Why not get a life? It shows you've never Pronounced it "id-yut" -- who wants Your life, anyhow? - spatch, who definitely does not want to bring on Ye Olde Haiku Flame War again - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790, back from the Shadows and ready to Beeeat the Reaper! "I'm a candy bar! Break pieces of me off and enjoy me all day!" - Tom Servo "It's the bug zapper in the Center Of The Earth." - Nate Scheidler Gimme one good reason to stay at: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
In article <4k0lg6$f3@vassun.vassar.edu> nosmith@vassar.edu (Flapjack) writes: > bun raku Proooseeeet, babe! This is mooky goot! Jezebell--whose Swedish is getting better every day! -- --I like you, I'll kill you last. ---------------- | I want to meet | | interesting | | and exotic | | people and | | kill them. | | | | -Matthew Modine| | Full Metal | | Jacket | ----------------
In article <4ju9ps$5hj@vixen.cso.uiuc.edu>, Laura Zurawski <juniper@uiuc.edu> wrote: > >Well, I'm eating one as we speak. When am I supposed to feel powerful? Soon. Soon, you will begin seething with power and the unctrollable desire to TAKE OVER THE WORLD. ===================================================== "Oh, to be in England now that April's there" --RB My opinions are not those of my employer. =====================================================
>Laura Zurawski <juniper@uiuc.edu> wrote:
>
>Well, I'm eating one as we speak. When am I supposed to feel powerful?
When your head blows up to the size of a Macy's balloon.
></L>
God it's great to see that signature again!
cabbage
In article <4jtlur$a8m@kona.javanet.com> spatula@javanet.com (tv's Spatch) writes: >HELP, MY BRANE HURTS. HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS HURTS Hope this hurts. *MM
tv's Spatch (spatula@javanet.com) wrote: : sean@pacificone.com (Darth Vader) writ: : >My mandibula hurts. It's driving me absoloutely insane. And even worse, I : >don't even know what my mandibula is or where it is located. Any help is : >appreciated. : So how do you know it hurts? Did a little warning voice like in those : Chrysler talking cars come on and start telling you that as you woke up? : "Your mandibula hurts. : Your mandibula hurts. : Your mandibula hurts. : Your mandibula hurts. : Antelope Freeway, 1/4 mile." I wasn in one of those cars once. The voice was very loud and it scared me and it made my mandibula hurt. Har! Ross--who got a telegram telling him it was his madibula.
Flapjack (nosmith@vassar.edu) wrote: : In article <31647321.7615@cdsnet.net> : AMerwin <leem@cdsnet.net> writes: : > Jeffery Shidei wrote: : > > Ross Garmil garmilized: : > > : > > : Ross--who just can't get over it. : > > : > > You *must* get over it! You're surrounded by it. Washington : > > crossed the Potomac, Moses parted the Red Sea and Jesus walked over the : > > stuff! If they can get over it, so can you! : Actually, Washington crossed the Delaware. You're thinking of the time : he threw Moses across the Potomac, which was around the same time he : chopped down Jesus's cross with his little hatchet. Actually Washington got cross at Delaware because they ate leavened bread after Jesus swam across the English Channel and Moses switched to BBC4. : Wow. I just posted that on Easter Sunday. I'm going straight to hell. : Cool. Yeah, pretty much. : > > -Jeffzilla (noticed how this thread went from fire to water) : > : > Magnus, it's all your fault : > : > Lee - who thinks flapjack could find an 80's song in this somewhere : Umm. . .you think so, do you? Easy--Fire and Ice, Foreigner. : flapjack-who would like to remind Lee that the F is capitalized except : when he signs off Yeah, I had to learn that about flapjack. Sig check! : -- So far doing fine. : Flapjack, the Guilt Toad who's keeping the goatee for a while Hey, everyone. flapjack's got a goatee! : "Hey! I just realized how much I blow!" Um...well, sory to hear it. : --Noah, in the play of the same name by Abe Smith Oh, no, Flapjack, there's an Abe Smith attached to your "--Noah, in the play of the same name by " Even further from the "--" it's still a safety hazard. Stand back! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! Hey, kinda a Mayan thing. SOCK! SOCK!SOCK!SOCK! SOCK!SOCK !SOCK! SOCK!SOCK SOCK!! SOCK!S OCK! SOCK! sock! sock!SOCK SCOK SOCK!! SOCK!! SOCK!S OKC! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! sock! That oughta do it. Oh no, wiat! SOCK! Phew, almost missed one. On with the sig. : Have a look at the goatee at: : HTTP://students.vassar.edu/~nosmith/nosmith.html I've been there, no gaotees, no changes of any kind. Just a grease moustache. Ross--who may have to start looking at other web pages.
I try to go outside, but this solid object blocks my progress.
--Bill
--
"WWW is the largest vanity press in the world."
(Found scrawled on the Tomb of the Unregistered Voter.)
To see why, visit
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
<In article <4k2dfb$cdt$1@mhadg.production.compuserve.com Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: <I try to go outside, but this solid object blocks my progress. open door :Door is open Walk through door :You can't do that! Walk through doorway :You are in a twisty maze of URL's, all alike
Oh the mass murderer is a person in your neighborhood, In your neighborhood In your neighborhood Oh the mass murderer is a person in your neighborhood He's a person that you meet When you're walking down the street He's a person that you meet each day flapjack-who is glad no alt.tv.muppetians read that, except Ross, who doesn't count -- Flapjack, the Guilt Toad who's keeping the goatee for a while "Hey! I just realized how much I blow!" --Noah, in the play of the same name by Abe Smith Have a look at the goatee at: HTTP://students.vassar.edu/~nosmith/nosmith.html
On Mon, 01 Apr 1996 11:25:36 +0000, amp <adam.jewell@mts.dbo.dec.com>
wrote:
>Bill Wilkinson wrote:
> >
> > sdc@teleport.com () wrote:
> >
> > :*
> > !
>#
>--amp: this could turn into a whole new language!!
?
>(or maybe not..)
Good thinking.
> __ __ ____
> /\ | \ / || _ \Final Release .sig 2.43
> / \ | \ \/ / || __/Chief Designer of the ANY key
>/_/\_\|_|\__/|_||_|"It just needs a little Yeast!"-Bill
Let me try something here... VMP would be better than AMP, wouldn't it?
__ __ ____
O /\ | \ / || _ \Final Release .sig 2.43
/---/ \ | \ \/ / || __/Chief Designer of the ANY key
/\ /_/\_\|_|\__/|_||_|"It just needs a little Yeast!"-Bill
/\ HRRRMPT.. this A is heavy!
/ \ /
/_/\_\ __ __ ____
\0/ | \ / || _ \Final Release .sig 2.43
| | \ \/ / || __/Chief Designer of the ANY key
/ \ |_|\__/|_||_|"It just needs a little Yeast!"-Bill
__ __
\ \/ / Now to flip it over...
\ / /
\/ __ __ ____
\0/ | \ / || _ \Final Release .sig 2.43
| | \ \/ / || __/Chief Designer of the ANY key
/ \ |_|\__/|_||_|"It just needs a little Yeast!"-Bill
__ __
\ \/ / *pant* This is heavy.... AAAUGH!
\ / /
\/ __ __ ____
\0/ | \ / || _ \Final Release .sig 2.43
| | \ \/ / || __/Chief Designer of the ANY key
/ \ |_|\__/|_||_|"It just needs a little Yeast!"-Bill
(crunch) GET IT OFF! GET IF OFF! AAUUGH!
/
__ _ __ __ ____
\ \/ /| \ / || _ \Final Release .sig 2.43
\ / | \ \/ / || __/Chief Designer of the ANY key
O_\/_ |_|\__/|_||_|"It just needs a little Yeast!"-Bill
\ \
Chester - who should have thought this through more...
---
"Looking toward his .sig, _Amp brought his activities to a stop. He had
already heard a peculiar 'crunch', and now the figure resembling Chester
Karma beneath the newly formed 'V' intrigued him..."
Chester 'Flat' Karma ... fts@cris.com ... http://www.cris.com/~fts
Chester 'Flat' Karma wrote: > > On Sat, 06 Apr 1996 04:15:28 +0000, _amp <AdamJ@iol.ie> wrote: > > >> [life-threatening experience deleted] > >> > >> Chester - who should have thought this through more... > >> > >> --- > >> "Looking toward his .sig, _Amp brought his activities to a stop. He had > >> already heard a peculiar 'crunch', and now the figure resembling Chester > >> Karma beneath the newly formed 'V' intrigued him..." > >> Chester 'Flat' Karma ... fts@cris.com ... http://www.cris.com/~fts > > > >--amp: who _was_ slowly trying to wean himself off B.U.A.T's for a while now > >but this recent trauma has caused him to think hard... > >__ __ __ __ ____ > >\ \/ /| \ / || _ \Coming soon, MAYBE!! My .sig > > \ / | \ \/ / || __/with no butt ugly ascii text!! > >O_\/_ |_|\__/|_||_|Hmm..Chester? you ok?.. v2.44 > > \ \ > > Why wasn't I warned beforehand that 2.43 had stability problems? Aarrgh! > Now I've become a casualty of unstable butt ugly ascii text! > er.. that was bug number 545 of release 2.43. I'm currently working on a crane sig that'll lift it off. Stand by.. -- __ __ __ __ ____ \ \/ /| \ / || _ \Coming soon MAYBE!! My .sig with no \ / | \ \/ / || __/butt ugly text!! Hmm..Chester? you ok?.... O_\/_ |_|\__/|_||_|Get cured at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj \ \
Lemme work this over: And thus did fts@cris.com (Chester Karma) spake, speaking: > __ /_ > \ \_/ / Shaken, not stirred. > \ / / / > \0/ __ __ ____ > | | \ / || _ \Final Release .sig 2.43 > | | \ \/ / || __/Chief Designer of the ANY key > / \ |_|\__/|_||_|"It just needs a little Yeast!"-Bill There, now it's a Martini. - spatch, it's the light one, it's the right one, it's martini! - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790, back from the Shadows and ready to Beeeat the Reaper! "I'm a candy bar! Break pieces of me off and enjoy me all day!" - Tom Servo "It's the bug zapper in the Center Of The Earth." - Nate Scheidler Gimme one good reason to stay at: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
I was going through my backlog of CI$ mail and found a
subject that read "I QUIT MY FUCKI" and nothing else.
What the hell is a fucki????
--Bill
--
"WWW is the largest vanity press in the world."
(Found scrawled on the Tomb of the Unregistered Voter.)
So check out
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
On 6 Apr 1996 23:40:30 GMT, Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM>
wrote:
>I was going through my backlog of CI$ mail and found a
>subject that read "I QUIT MY FUCKI" and nothing else.
>
>What the hell is a fucki????
I think it's a domain in a foreign country. Try
http://www.goddamn.fucki.ng/~pie/ceofs/hit.html
Chester - who'll be surprised if that's an actual URL
---
"Looking toward his .sig, _Amp brought his activities to a stop. He had
already heard a peculiar 'crunch', and now the figure resembling Chester
Karma beneath the newly formed 'V' intrigued him..."
Chester 'Flat' Karma ... fts@cris.com ... http://www.cris.com/~fts
SpatchCo productions presents: <honk> PICK UP THE PHONE BOOTH AND DIE </honk> Quite possibly the stupidest text adventure you've ever played! One room. One object - a phone booth. All you have to do is not pick the phone booth up, or else you'll die. Yes, it's that simple. Of course, there -is- a way to win the game, and it doesn't even involve winning by not playing (how zen). Just get rid of the damn phone booth. That's all. WANNA PLAY? Course you don't. You're quite scared of me right now, I bet. But that's OK. Grab the DOS executable at http://www.retina.net/~spatula/booth.zip -or- ask me personally for the compiled .Z5 format (use your own Inform interpreter in that case.) No, I won't post the source cause y'all just CHEET. CHEET CHEET CHEET!!! - spatch, coming soon: Pick Up The Phone Booth 2: This time, it's got chainsaws and a cow - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790, back from the Shadows and ready to Beeeat the Reaper! "I'm a candy bar! Break pieces of me off and enjoy me all day!" - Tom Servo "It's the bug zapper in the Center Of The Earth." - Nate Scheidler Gimme one good reason to stay at: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
And thus did mikroa@ix.netcom.com (Michael Roach) spake, speaking:
>Now that we're on daylight savings time again, I was wondering, what
>happened to the daylight that was saved last year? How do I redeem it? I
>sure could have used some extra daylight last winter!
You can't; the gummint takes it.
- spatch, that's why the gummint likes daylight savings time so much, it's
always daylight up the pentagon's ass -
--
tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790. My mother was a Bozoette in high school.
"Hey! There's no food here! You tricked me, you big dumb liar cat!"
- 2 Stupid Dogs
Big dumb liar cats abound at: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
On 7 Apr 1996 13:17:21 GMT, wayne26@epix.net (Mr. Play-A-Day) wrote:
>Note: I am taking a break from the PADs, maybe for a month
>or so, if anyone wonders. I'll be back (threatening Arnold voice).
Uh oh... I got two gripes here:
A) You forgot the obligatory WWW site plug.
http://www.epix.net/~wayne26
(HTH.)
B) Am I gonna have to fill in for ya again? *sigh*... oh no, it's no
problem... like I have nothing better to do with my spare time.
(Sheesh.. at least YOU get the fancy name Mr. Play-A-Day)
>Wayne Kessler
Oh.. uhmm... hehehe forget the fancy name part. I'll whip up some
replacement play-a-days and spam the net with them.
[evil chord] [evil laughter] [happy laughter]
---
"Looking toward his .sig, _Amp brought his activities to a stop. He had
already heard a peculiar 'crunch', and now the figure resembling Chester
Karma beneath the newly formed 'V' intrigued him..."
Chester 'Flat' Karma ... fts@cris.com ... http://www.cris.com/~fts
Anyone else get the feeling that we'll be seeing a Chester Karma screenplay on USA Up All Night in a couple of years. flapjack-who is going to have to try his hand at this sooner or later -- Flapjack, the Guilt Toad who's keeping the goatee for a while "Hey! I just realized how much I blow!" --Noah, in the play of the same name by Abe Smith Have a look at the goatee at: HTTP://students.vassar.edu/~nosmith/nosmith.html
I can't believe I've just spent all evening playing that stoopid
game. I still haven't a [ ] and all I've won so far are five
chickens and a cow--and they ran off!
--Bill (so much for the power of prayer)
--
"WWW is the largest vanity press in the world."
(Found scrawled on the Tomb of the Unregistered Voter.)
So check out
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
lil <ldale@nmsu.edu> wrote:
:-lil, who can see clearly now, the rain is gone.
^^^^^
|________________
|
What kind of smiley is that?
--Bill (who didn't know it rained in new and improved mexico)
--
"WWW is the largest vanity press in the world."
(Found scrawled on the Tomb of the Unregistered Voter.)
Names have been dropped and added at
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
In article <4k6vde$6mo$1@mhadg.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: >I was going through my backlog of CI$ mail and found a >subject that read "I QUIT MY FUCKI" and nothing else. >What the hell is a fucki???? >--Bill >-- It's the plural of fuckus (lat.), "younger (first year) student"; [Encyclopedia Idiotica]. HTH. *MM >----------------------------------------------< ... THERE IS ALWAYS JUSTICE. AND WHEN JUSTICE IS GONE, THERE IS ALWAYS FORCE. AND WHEN FORCE IS GONE, THERE IS ALWAYS MOM. -Unkown
elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) wrote:
:In article <DpKnsI.1nI@mv.mv.com> paul@mustang.mv.com (Paul
:Whitehouse) writes:
:>P.S. - Where the fuck is that damned "any" key???
:Anywhere.
Any time.
--Bill
--
"WWW is the largest vanity press in the world."
(Found scrawled on the Tomb of the Unregistered Voter.)
Names have been dropped and added at
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
And thus did fts@cris.com (Chester 'Flat' Karma) spake, speaking:
>On Sun, 07 Apr 1996 05:08:43 GMT, spatula@javanet.com (tv's Spatch) wrote:
>>SpatchCo productions presents:
>I'm appaled by the lack of StupeScape tags in this post.
>><honk>
>Thank you.
>> PICK UP THE PHONE BOOTH AND DIE
>I sense low-B text adventure coming on...
>></honk>
No, that would be if I used the <huh?> tags. (Ob</huh?>)
>>All you have to do is not pick the phone booth up, or else you'll die.
>It takes a real brain surgeon to figure that out.
I figured if I hammered the point home enough times folks'll figure it out.
That way I didn't have to code in an extensive help system, or get the
chemicals needed for a set of Invisiclues.
Help! I don't know what to do! What should I do?
( HAVE YOU TRIED PICKING UP THE PHONE BOOTH? )
>>Yes, it's that simple. Of course, there -is- a way to win the game, and it
>>doesn't even involve winning by not playing (how zen). Just get rid of the
>>damn phone booth. That's all.
>Of course. It's so mind bogglingly simple! And I appreciate the way you
>intentionally struck down the people who just finished watching "WarGames"
>by disqualifying not playing as a way to win.
JOSHUA my Aunt Fanny. Matt Broderick should have whipped out the "How To
Succeed In Wargames Without Really Trying" book and sung a song.
>>Grab the DOS executable at http://www.retina.net/~spatula/booth.zip
>Is the resemblence to John Wilkes Booth intentional? You may have to pay
>his family royalties...
Of course not. In this game, the Booth doesn't kill you from behind and shout
"Sic Semper Tyrannis!" I'd work that into PUTPBAD 2 but phone booths don't
talk, you see.
>>-or- ask me personally for the compiled .Z5 format (use your own Inform
>>interpreter in that case.)
>Damn good thing it's not a .Z6 format file... otherwise the new extensions
>to the Inform language would actually KILL you if you picked up the phone
>booth. How's about you post the source?
>>No, I won't post the source cause y'all just CHEET. CHEET CHEET CHEET!!!
>[quickly hiding "Basics of not picking up Phone Booths"] Who's cheating?
You and IO ERROR, apparently.
>>- spatch, coming soon: Pick Up The Phone Booth 2: This time, it's got
>> chainsaws and a cow -
>Imagine the plot intricacies that could be formulated with THAT setup.... I
>swoon at the thought....
At this moment, however, the chainsaw and the cow are not to be used together
in any fashion.
>---
> "Looking toward his .sig, _Amp brought his activities to a stop. He had
> already heard a peculiar 'crunch', and now the figure resembling Chester
> Karma beneath the newly formed 'V' intrigued him..."
> Chester 'Flat' Karma ... fts@cris.com ... http://www.cris.com/~fts
Hey, that's not my .sig.
- spatch, who notes that the PUTPBAD home page should be in effect at
http://retina.net/~spatula/booth.html with the .z5 compiled file
as well -
--
tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790. My mother was a Bozoette in high school.
"Hey! There's no food here! You tricked me, you big dumb liar cat!"
- 2 Stupid Dogs
Big dumb liar cats abound at: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
And thus did Mark Lovejoy <lovejoy@azstarnet.com> spake, speaking:
>Revelation 22:15 Outside are the dogs and the sorcerers and the immoral
>persons and the murderers and the idolaters, and everyone who loves and
>practices lying.
Revelation 22:16 And bacon.
- spatch, and don't forget about Spat 3:16, Thou Shalt Not Witness False
Bears -
--
tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790. My mother was a Bozoette in high school.
"Hey! There's no food here! You tricked me, you big dumb liar cat!"
- 2 Stupid Dogs
Big dumb liar cats abound at: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
In article <4k6hr6$68c@vassun.vassar.edu> nosmith@vassar.edu (Flapjack) writes: >Oh the mass murderer is a person in your neighborhood, >In your neighborhood >In your neighborhood >Oh the mass murderer is a person in your neighborhood >He's a person that you meet >When you're walking down the street >He's a person that you meet each day >-- Hi! Let's talk about it at O'Malley's tonite! *MM -- they call me the Wild Rose, but my name is Magnus and I am stoopit. Why they call me that, I do not know, for my name is Magnus and I am stoopit. >----------------------------------------------< ... THERE IS ALWAYS JUSTICE. AND WHEN JUSTICE IS GONE, THERE IS ALWAYS FORCE. AND WHEN FORCE IS GONE, THERE IS ALWAYS MOM. -Unkown
In article <4kejb8$n7r@news.bu.edu> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: >tv's Spatch (spatula@javanet.com) wrote: >: And thus did sdc@teleport.com () spake, speaking: >: >_amp (adam.jewell@mts.dbo.dec.com) wrote: >: >: Bill Wilkinson wrote: >: >: > elvi.vtkk.v1kwi@memo.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) wrote: >: >: > :In article <4hu1h9$a4@huitzilo.tezcat.com> wotanstag@tezcat.com >: >: > :(Bev) writes: >: >: > :>In article <4hr6ek$s39@echo2.echonyc.com>, Spatch >: >: > :<spatula@retina.net> wrote: >: >: > :>>AMerwin (amerwin@aol.com) wrote: >: >: > >: >: > :>>: Matthew Wilder...........? >: >: > :>> >: >: > :>>Billy Wilder.........? >: >: > >: >: > :>Gene Wilder.........? >: >: > >: >: > :Tame Wilder.........? >: >: > >: >: > Milder Wilder.......? >: >: > >: >: Thing Wilder.....? >: >Miles Quade? >: Miles Silverman? >Miles Davis? Miles Antelope Freeway? *MM -- who went for the unexpected... right?
Bill Wilkinson wrote:
>
> I can't believe I've just spent all evening playing that stoopid
> game. I still haven't a [ ] and all I've won so far are five
> chickens and a cow--and they ran off!
>
> --Bill (so much for the power of prayer)
> I got it !!!!!
-----actual game footage-----
BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPEBEEPBEEP
*** You have won ***
--end actual game footage----
-- amp: who was expecting a raytraced movie length finale.. godammit
__ __ __ __ ____
\ \/ /| \ / || _ \Coming soon MAYBE!! My .sig with no
\ / | \ \/ / || __/butt ugly text!! Hmm..Chester? you ok?....
O_\/_ |_|\__/|_||_|Get cured at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
\ \
And thus did _amp <AdamJ@iol.ie> spake, speaking:
>Bill Wilkinson wrote:
>>
>> I can't believe I've just spent all evening playing that stoopid
>> game. I still haven't a [ ] and all I've won so far are five
>> chickens and a cow--and they ran off!
>>
>> --Bill (so much for the power of prayer)
>> I got it !!!!!
>-----actual game footage-----
>BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPEBEEPBEEP
> *** You have won ***
>--end actual game footage----
>-- amp: who was expecting a raytraced movie length finale.. godammit
In a TEXT ADVENTURE?! come on. maybe a small .MPG or something... but ...
raytraced? Yeah, I can't even get POVRay to work right on this puter.
- spatch, noting the endgame of v1.1 "619" is much different than the previous
endgame -
--
tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790. My mother was a Bozoette in high school.
"Hey! There's no food here! You tricked me, you big dumb liar cat!"
- 2 Stupid Dogs
Big dumb liar cats abound at: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
And thus did Bounty Bob <each@time.new> spake, speaking:
> Hi !
You misspelled \ | /
-POP!- Hi!
/ | \ . Hope this helps.
--
tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790. My mother was a Bozoette in high school.
"Hey! There's no food here! You tricked me, you big dumb liar cat!"
- 2 Stupid Dogs
Big dumb liar cats abound at: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
spatula@javanet.com (tv's Spatch) wrote: >And thus did Bounty Bob <each@time.new> spake, speaking: >> Hi ! >You misspelled \ | / > -POP!- Hi! > / | \ . Hope this helps. Uh.....could you repeat that? I didn't have a pencil and paper around when I read this posting. Thanks! _____________________________________________ Cleveland is the West Virginia of Ohio - Robert E. Gmitter If aquarium gravel is bad for you, why does it taste so good? - Ralph Wiggum
In some bacon article spatula@javanet.com stated: >And thus did nosmith@vassar.edu (Flapjack) spake, speaking: > >>"One of them philosophers said 'know thyself.' Now, I don't know if >>that was Socrates or Platto, or one of them fancy schmancy Aristotlee >>fellas. . ."--Tom Bodett, channeling through Spatch. > >I don't ever want to channel Tom Bodett -again-, as long as I live. He really >scared the bejeezus out of me. More so than when I channeled the first >incarnation of Morris the Cat and moped around for a few hours until someone >fed me some 9-Lives. Hey! The only men who can channel is the Forsaken! Oh...sorry, I got carried away. >- spatch, and the scary thing is, tom bodett's not dead yet. - /^JN - The Anti JN - NSPACE(f(n)) = coNSPACE(f(n)) for any proper f(n) > log n -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
And thus did maillist@caebbs-2.isdn.mcs.net (Mailing List (SEND INFO in body
of message)) spake, speaking:
>************************************************************************
> Amateur Erotica BBS of Chicago
> The HOTTEST Adult BBS on the Internet!
> An Excalibur-based BBS accessible via the Internet
> Point your Web Browser to http://www.mcs.net/~caebbs
> Thousands of Adult Erotic Amateur Images/Audio files and MOVIES!
Heh. Amateur erotica. "Now where do I put this? Oops, sorry, watch out --
no, that's my navel... wait, I'm over here... ow, no, go that way... HEY!
WHAT ARE THOSE YOU GOT THERE?!"
And then the regular porn videos will have to have disclaimers at the
beginning that say "Warning: The people in these movies are paid
professionals. Do not try this at home."
That'd be a good way to curb the birth rate, I bet.
--
tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790. My mother was a Bozoette in high school.
"Hey! There's no food here! You tricked me, you big dumb liar cat!"
- 2 Stupid Dogs
Big dumb liar cats abound at: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
In article <4khq6k$jq0@kona.javanet.com> spatula@javanet.com (tv's Spatch) writes: >And thus did maillist@caebbs-2.isdn.mcs.net (Mailing List (SEND INFO in body >of message)) spake, speaking: >Heh. Amateur erotica. "Now where do I put this? Oops, sorry, watch out -- >no, that's my navel... wait, I'm over here... ow, no, go that way... HEY! >WHAT ARE THOSE YOU GOT THERE?!" >And then the regular porn videos will have to have disclaimers at the >beginning that say "Warning: The people in these movies are paid >professionals. Do not try this at home." >-- Kinda reminds me of an old family magazine's Ask Dr. Surrogate-Ruth: "Due to the delicacy of your question we don't publish it here, but the answer is: they should remain outside." *MM
In article <Pine.OSF.3.91.960410110903.29342A-100000@odin.cbu.edu> VOID <kroberts@odin.cbu.edu> writes:
> \|/ ____ \|/
> "@'/ ,. \`@"
> /_| \__/ |_\
> \__U_/
I have no idea what that is, so I'll decapitate it. Just in case.
____________
\ /
"@' ´@"
/|\ /|\
*MM
In article <baz4tqs1km1.fsf@calvin.cs.chalmers.se> jessica@cs.chalmers.se (Jessica Twitchell) writes: > Yep! I almost understood it. (BTW, are you in SE .se?) > *MM >Indeed I am as the little .se on the end indicates. Jag ar i Goteborg. Ah, that's in SW .se where they speak much better swedish than in SE .se. In case you're interested, which you are of course, Göteborg is the friendship town of Turku (Åbo), Finland, where I was born some time ago indeed. >--I like you, I'll kill you last. As for me, I'll let you live forever. *MM
That's right. The official Pick Up The Phone Booth and Die homepage has now
moved to http://www.javanet.com/~spatula/booth.html, along with the
BRAND-SPANKIN' NEW version that actually gives you a score and congratulates
you when you win, rather than poking fun at you as if you had just lost!
Relive the magic all over again with PUTPBAD version 1.1, release 619 (don't
look at me, that's what the compiler calls it.). If you haven't lived the
magic yet, find out why Dave Liebling has told me not to quit my day job and
play the game for yourself!
- news from the PUTPBAD 2 front:
April 9th, 1996:
Approximately one and one half puzzles have been created, as well as a
skeleton map of the area. This is a big step forward since my last major step
was, on Easter Sunday, to create the phone booth and the town square and one
room beyond (containing every object I'd written thus far.) Coding can be
fun.
See you after the caffeine wears off!
--
tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790. My mother was a Bozoette in high school.
"Hey! There's no food here! You tricked me, you big dumb liar cat!"
- 2 Stupid Dogs
Big dumb liar cats abound at: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
spatulate: adj. Shaped like a spatula. cabbage: neat, huh? http://metro.turnpike.net/C/cabbage/index.html
In article <elvi.vtkk.v1wki.2306.00719C00@memo.vtkk.fi> elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) writes: > Ah, that's in SW .se where they speak much better swedish than in > SE .se. In case you're interested, which you are of course, Göteborg > is the friendship town of Turku (Åbo), Finland, where I was born > some time ago indeed. What I don't understand is why Sweden decided to rename Helsinki. Yesindeedy, I'm in SW .se (I misunderstood your question before, gee I am stoopit!) And I've eaten a halv special and liked it! > >--I like you, I'll kill you last. > As for me, I'll let you live forever. Doo eer soo sneeeg. (I just get better and better.) > *MM Jezebell--who still isn't sure how she could eat a hot dog with mashed potatoes at the same time....drowning in ketchup no less... -- --I like you, I'll kill you last. ---------------- | I want to meet | | interesting | | and exotic | | people and | | kill them. | | | | -Matthew Modine| | Full Metal | | Jacket | ----------------
On 9 Apr 1996 05:48:47 GMT, sean@pacificone.com (Darth Vader) wrote:
>In article <3168ad4f.18819891@news.cris.com>, fts@cris.com says...
>>
>>Filling the void... it's >>REPLACEMENT PLAY-A-DAY<<
>>So it sucks. Blow me. I wrote it in like 3 seconds. View some quality
>>play-a-days at http://www.epix.net/~wayne26
>
>Not to worry, you'll have plenty of time to perfect your play-a-days while
>you are stuck underneath that ascii 'A'. Nobody let the A off of Chester
>for another month until Mr. Play-A-Day returns.
It's pretty comfortable under here. I found plenty of games to play:
__ __
\ \/ / Hello? Is this 555-1523? It's not? Sorry.
\ / /
O_\/_
\ \
[Random repeated "wrong number" calling]
__ __
\ \/ / All I wanna do, is have some fun...
\ / /
O_\/_
\ \
[Singing assorted "Songs About Masturbation"]
\ \
__ __ / /
\ \/ / \ \
\ / __~_~_
O_\/_ \____/
\ \ / \
[Frying up bacon on the nearby Hibachi grill]
__ __ ______________________
\ \/ / ( )
\ / o ( >PICK UP PHONE BOOTH )
O_\/_ o ( You have died. )
\ \ (______________________)
[Play interactive fiction]
__ __
\ \/ /
\ /
_\/_O
/ /
[Rotate ocassionally for even cooking]
__ __ _______
\ \/ / | _____ |
\ / ||News:||
O_\/_ ||_____||
\ \ |_______|
[Post anecdotal messages to alt.i.am.crushed.by.a.giant.v]
Is fun, no?
---
"Looking toward his .sig, _Amp brought his activities to a stop. He had
already heard a peculiar 'crunch', and now the figure resembling Chester
Karma beneath the newly formed 'V' intrigued him..."
Chester 'Flat' Karma ... fts@cris.com ... http://www.cris.com/~fts
Adam wrote:
> Stupidity... the froupy newsfroup....Theses are the adventures of
Chester 'Flat' Karma:
>
> On 9 Apr 1996 05:48:47 GMT, sean@pacificone.com (Darth Vader) wrote:
>
> >In article <3168ad4f.18819891@news.cris.com>, fts@cris.com says...
> >>
> >
> >Not to worry, you'll have plenty of time to perfect your play-a-days while
> >you are stuck underneath that ascii 'A'. Nobody let the A off of Chester
> >for another month until Mr. Play-A-Day returns.
>
> It's pretty comfortable under here. I found plenty of games to play:
>
> __ __
> \ \/ / Hello? Is this 555-1523? It's not? Sorry.
> \ / /
> O_\/_
> \ \
>
> [Random repeated "wrong number" calling]
>
[other great games snipped]
>
> __ __ _______
> \ \/ / | _____ |
> \ / ||News:||
> O_\/_ ||_____||
> \ \ |_______|
>
> [Post anecdotal messages to alt.i.am.crushed.by.a.giant.v]
>
> Is fun, no?
>
Sorry Chester but I've got alt.fan.warlord, the health department,
and various strange vegetable-like people hanging around outside.
And so after many minutes of intensive research I have developed a crane .sig
to free Chester.
Here goes:
_____
| \\
| \\
| \\___
J _[____] *chug-chug-chug*
__ __ ______(o_____o)
\ \/ /| \ / || _ \Coming soon MAYBE!! My .sig with no
\ / | \ \/ / || __/butt ugly text!! Hmm..Chester? you ok?....
O_\/_ |_|\__/|_||_|Get cured at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
\ \
_____ "Lower Away!"
| \\
| \\
| \\___ "Lowering Away!"
J _[____]
__ __(o_____o) ____
\ \/ /| \ / || _ \Coming soon MAYBE!! My .sig with no
\ / | \ \/ / || __/butt ugly text!! Hmm..Chester? you ok?....
O_\/_ |_|\__/|_||_|Get cured at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
\ \
_____
| \\ "Attach the V!"
| \\
| \\____ "Attaching the V!!"
| _[____]
__| __(o_____o)____
\ \/ /| \ / || _ \Coming soon MAYBE!! My .sig with no
\ / | \ \/ / || __/butt ugly text!! Hmm..Chester? you ok?....
O_\/_ |_|\__/|_||_|Get cured at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
\ \
_____
| \\ "Hoist Away!"
| \\
| \\____ "Hoisting Away!!"
__| __ _[____]
\ \/ /_(o_____o)____
\ / | \ / || _ \Coming soon MAYBE!! My .sig with no
\/ | \ \/ / || __/butt ugly text!! Hmm..Chester? you ok?....
O_/__ |_|\__/|_||_|Get cured at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
\ \
_____ "Batton down the Hatches!!"
| \\
| \\ "Battoning down the..Huh?"(tm)
__| __ \\____
\ \/ / _[____]
\ / _(o_____o)____
\/ | \ / || _ \Coming soon MAYBE!! My .sig with no
| \ \/ / || __/butt ugly text!! Hmm..Chester? you ok?....
O/_/\ |_|\__/|_||_|Get cured at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
_____
| \\ "I'm FREE!" [Exit Chester..Stage left]
| \\ /
__| __ \\____ "err..the M's not looking too stable Captain!"
\ \/ / _[____]
\ / _(o_____o)____ "Scotty what's going on down there!"
O\/ | \ / || _ \Coming soon MAYBE!! My .sig with no
/|\ | \ \/ / || __/butt ugly text!! Hmm..Chester? you ok?....
/ \ \_\\__/\_\|_|Get cured at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
_____
| \\ "It's just nae use Captain I cannae hold it!!"
| \\
__| __ \\____ *crunch*
\ \/ / _[____] ____
\ /__(o_____o)| _ \Coming soon MAYBE!! My .sig with no
\/ \ \ \/ \ | __/butt ugly text!! Hmm..Chester? you ok?....
\_\\_/\_\ |_|Get cured at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
_____
| \\ "All hands to starboard, ready the lifeboats,
| \\ Chicken curry for dinner!!"
__| __ \\____ ____
\ \/ / _[____] | _ \Coming soon MAYBE!! My .sig with no
\ /__(o_____o)| __/butt ugly text!! Hmm..Chester? you ok?
\/ \_\\_/\_\ |_|Get cured at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
"Damage report Mr Wibbleicous"
_____
| \\ "err..we've lost the M sir and we're outside the...
__| __ \\ ____ ..*Hammer type violins*..McQuad limit!!"
\ \/ / \\____ | _ \Coming soon MAYBE!! My .sig with no
\ / _[____] | __/butt ugly text!! Hmm..Chester? you ok?
\/ (o_____o)|_|Get cured at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
"Opinions on the banana flavoured situation Mr Spock"
__ ___ ____
\ \/ /\\___ | _ \Coming soon MAYBE!! My .sig with no
\ /_[____] | __/butt ugly text!! Hmm..Chester? you ok?
\/(o_____o)|_|Get cured at: http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
"The McQuad limit appears to have swallowed part of the crane, Captain"
"That's nae a very likely plot twist Mr Pointy Ears"
"True, it appears as though we have just passed through a Dodgey Scenario Field"
"Damn your Vulcan logic!!!"
"Well Mr KappPANG!..PANG!..PANG! make the horsey go reall fast..
an' head THAT way!"
*With a flash of light and a boooom they vanish*
--amp: who finds that his .sig is getting weirder exponentially
__ ___ ____
\ \/ /\\___ | _ \SOON! "Giant V Takes Over The World!!!"-the motion picture.
\ /_[____] | __/Chester LIVES! Special padding and more names dropped at:
\/(o_____o)|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) wrote:
:jessica@cs.chalmers.se (Jessica Twitchell) writes:
[sucks be to ci$]
:>Jezebell--who still isn't sure how she could eat a hot dog with
:>mashed potatoes at the same time....drowning in ketchup no
:>less...
:>--
:>--I like you, I'll kill you last.
:"Jag tycker om dej, jag ska döda dej sist."
:END OF LESSON
:*MM -- where's the Anti JN right now that we'd need him?
Are you suggesting that Jezebel is a fluffy one????
Waitaminute!!! Iz this one of those "A Swede, a Finn, and
and an American..." jokes???
--Bill
--
"WWW is the largest vanity press in the world."
(Found scrawled on the Tomb of the Unregistered Voter.)
Names have been dropped and added at
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
In article <4kmujp$59t$2@mhadf.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) wrote: :jessica@cs.chalmers.se (Jessica Twitchell) writes: > :"Jag tycker om dej, jag ska döda dej sist." > :END OF LESSON > :*MM -- where's the Anti JN right now that we'd need him? > Are you suggesting that Jezebel is a fluffy one???? Fluffy? > Waitaminute!!! Iz this one of those "A Swede, a Finn, and > and an American..." jokes??? Nono, weren't you listening? It's a Russian, an American, and a Dane! > --Bill Jezebell--who would be funny here, only she's kinda drunk, and it probably wouldn't be...funny...nevermind. -- --I like you, I'll kill you last. ---------------- | I want to meet | | interesting | | and exotic | | people and | | kill them. | | | | -Matthew Modine| | Full Metal | | Jacket | ----------------
elvi.vtkk.v1wki@memo.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) wrote: >Finland was under swedish regime -- actually, part of Sweden, >from the dark ages to 1809, until the king lost us to the ruskies... </STUPIDTY> I was going to try to make some kind of witty remark here, but decided to review some history first. <STUPIDITY> --Bill -- You know, a wise man once said: "a man who thinks himself to be surrounded by idiots may be standing in a hall of mirrors." --The Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
On Sun, 14 Apr 1996 02:03:29 GMT, spatula@javanet.com (tv's Spatch) wrote:
>And thus did Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> spake, speaking:
>
>>_YES!_
>
>>I've converted PUTPBAD to Windows!
>
>*mutters something about a DOS shell but smiles*
Ever seen a text adventure for Windows? I have... it's called "Reading the
USENET through Agent"
>My gosh, it is an amazingly rendered likeness, too. How'd you get the
>raytracing to convey so much detail?
I'm gonna recognize ya walking down the street now, I tell ya.
>I think for the sequel, there should be an icon of Chester flattened
>underneath either the phone booth or the good ol' traditional V.
Hmmm.
__ __ _____
\ \/ / | |
\ / or |B00TH|
O_\/_ O_|_____|_
\ \ \ \
Aside from the obvious disproportionate torso length, I think either one
works. (Oh, BTW: Oof.)
Chester-who may write Pick Up The V and Die, from personal experience.. as
a companion to the PUTPBAD series.
Chester-who also found a second way to die in PUTPBAD, that has really
nothing to do with picking up the phone booth.
---
"Looking toward his .sig, _Amp brought his activities to a stop. He had
already heard a peculiar 'crunch', and now the figure resembling Chester
Karma beneath the newly formed 'V' intrigued him..."
Chester 'Flat' Karma ... fts@cris.com ... http://www.cris.com/~fts
Great gobs of greasy green grimey gorilla guts,
Mutilated monkey meat,
Petrified porpoise pus.
Great gobs of greasy green grimey gorilla guts,
and you eat it with a spoon.
YOU EAT IT WITH A SPOON!
you eat it with a spoon...
--Bill (i forgot the next verse)
--
"WWW is the largest vanity press in the world."
(Found scrawled on the Tomb of the Unregistered Voter.)
Names have been dropped and added at
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
In article <4ksf47$78h@news.bu.edu> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: : Jezebell--who is just too danged funny. Ross--who thinks that if Jezebell gets any danged funnier she'll have to move to Amsterdam. I don't know any funny people inn Amsterdam. But I know lots of Swedes who tell reeeeeely bad puns. It's a pastime. I know a few Swiss jokes though. I won't tell 'em though, a'cos I have this sneaking suspicion you don't think my jokes are danged funny. Jezebell--who sees that Ross got over it... -- --I like you, I'll kill you last. ---------------- | I want to meet | | interesting | | and exotic | | people and | | kill them. | | | | -Matthew Modine| | Full Metal | | Jacket | ----------------
There was no Bacon! cabbage: Graboids? So that's what the kids are calling it these days. http://metro.turnpike.net/C/cabbage/index.html
because you all suck
sdc@teleport.com corrected:
>
> Michael Roach (mikroa@ix.netcom.com) wrote:
> : It was the dawn of the third age of Mankind, the year the great war came
> : upon us all, when sdc@teleport.com () wrote:
>
> : |(Woof!)
> : | \ , ,
> : | \ ("\''/").__..--''"'_.
> : | \ __ `9_ 9 ) `_. ( ).`-.__.`) (Pldpldpldpfft)
> : | ( Y .)' ._ ) ` `.`'_..-' /
> : | _..`--''_..-_/ /--'_.' .'-------/
> : | (il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
>
> : Keep your bilingual pussy off the internet! It's because of posts like this
> : that we have to ignore the Telecomumications Decency Act!!!
> . .
> Hey watch your mouth. You can't sa. bilingual on the Internet! Call it an
> "Aurally Diverse Pussy". . . .
> . . . . ..
Rrrrrrrrrrrr__ .. .. .. .
_____/ _| . . . . . .
> : |(Woof!) //_ / /~~~~~~~. . .. .. .
> : | \ //___/ ,/ -,--- ) ... .. .
> : | \\\___\("\''/")~~~. .--''"'_.
> : | \ __ `9_ 9 ) `\/.\. ( ).`-.__.`) (Pldpldpldpfft)
> : | ( Y .)' ._ )8.\ ` `.`'_..-' /
> : | _..`--''_..-_/ _\o.|/--'_.' .'-------/
> : | (il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
Call it chainsaw-massacred
-- amp: HOOO!!
__ ___ ____
\ \/ /\\___ | _ \SOON! "Giant V Takes Over The World!!!"-the motion picture.
\ /_[____] | __/Chester LIVES! Special padding and more names dropped at:
\/(o_____o)|_| http://ireland.iol.ie/~adamj
And thus did nosmith@vassar.edu (Flapjack) spake, speaking:
>In article <4kh530$rvb@freenet.vcu.edu>
>cabbage <pford@cabell.vcu.edu> writes:
>>
>> spatulate: adj. Shaped like a spatula.
>Okay, now try to use it in a Limmerick!
>flapjack-who's walking a dangerous road
A horrid young farter would flatulate
While saying, "If I were just spatulate!"
Someone said, "Long and flat?
Could you pin it on that
Rather than blaming it all on just what you et?"
( the answer is sorrowfully, no. spatulas are devoid of gas, i think. )
--
tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790. My mother was a Bozoette in high school.
"Hey! There's no food here! You tricked me, you big dumb liar cat!"
- 2 Stupid Dogs
Big dumb liar cats abound at: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
Jesper Nilsson // dat92jni@ludat.lth.se or jesper@df.lth.se