A cool thing to do is order X-Ray Specs and Sea Monkeys at the same time. When they arrive, put on the Specs and stare at the Sea Moneys, screaming, "My God! I can see straight to their briny souls! And they're playing baseball!" Make sure your girlfriend hears you. -Dan P.S.: Ladies! Are you depressed because you don't have a girlfriend and can't complete the above amusing activity? Instead, heat up a pair of ice tongs and run around the house screaming "The savior of the ice cubes is their ultimate undoing! Savor the irony!" Or become a lesbian. When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. . .
I miss 'em.
--Bill
--
The following Web page has a point:
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Picture the little guy inside the yellow triangle digging for it.
Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@compuserve.com> writ: >Hey Spatch! >You're the god of alt dot stupidity, have links to Spatula Tonight, >and are the lead singer in The Bacon Sandwiches. And now you have your >own rock group! >CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!! THAT'S NOT ME, BILL! *sobs* I feel violated and insulated (er, insulted) at the same time and ... *sniffle* AUGH WHY DID I HAVE TO READ THIS ON CHRISTMAS DAYBWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Quote some more Bozos with me, Bill, and help make the pain go away. - spatch, actung, chucko, you gotta plug in the female side! - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790, and now available with Kung-Fu Grip "Yeah, this is good old-fashioned nightmare fuel!" - Crow T. Robot EAT MORE BACON. http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula Available at all Al's Toy Barn locations in the tri-county area.
Looky, looky, limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) sez: >Andrea R Yakabe (yakabe@lava.net) wrote: >: Yeah, quit bashing Alanis. She rocks the house, and unlike more popular >: alternative groups, she's A)understnadable when she sings and B) her >: songs have a meaning. >Indeed. I just love it when she sings "I'm...."something, "but I'm.." >um.something else. I believe the line is "I'm rich but I'm talentless..." >: Unless you're not cool enough to get it. >You know, some of us worked our way through Junior High to get away from >this shit. Yeah, like, totally.
Ross Garmil (limrag@bu.edu) wrote: : Vamp (AdamJ@no_email.com) wrote: : : ... and I wondered what happened to Russ. : Yeah, where is Russ? We were supposed to meet at Uno's. : : Or is Russ Ross? : Well, if he is then I guess he showed up with me at Uno's. Then where were you? : : And if so did he SUCK! instead of SOCK! : SOCK. Just for the hell of it. : : Vamp - "Psychotherapy? Yes please!" : To go, please. : Ross--who has no idea what to say now. You could answer the question about the wagon wheel. ---Steve
Nosy (ataylor@nmsu.edu) wrote: : I seem to have fallen into a hostile parallel universe since : my last posting. One in which papalegba was elected god afterall? Oooh, I shudder to think of it. But I just like to shudder. : This means I get to dress much more snazzily, though.. Wow, I hope you get to wear stuff like they did in those Star Trek movies with the flap of material that falls down and makes a square for no apparent reason other than link the 24th century with the early 80's? Ross--who wanted to see Bones in a skinny piano tie.
chil@news.sfu.ca (keith lim) writ: >k6teddy@iss.nus.sg (Eddy Tanumihardja) writes: >>It's your choice. Though it is recorded in Mark 8:38 that your >>treatment of christ is the kind of treatment you're preparing >>for yourself (paraphrased), it is also recorded that christ is >>just the type who will cross the street to reach out to you >>just as you crossed the street to avoid him. >[...] >>The first christmas was when he first crossed the road to >>meet us. >Forgive me Lord, I can't resist... >Q. Why did Christ cross the road? >A1. To reach out to you. >A2. To meet us and bring the first Christmas. >Sheesh. That was pretty pathetic. I guess it's true what they say: jokes >about religion just ain't funny. It would have been funny if the joke went like: Q: Why did Jesus Christ cross the road? A: That's no road, that's a body of water! uh, ok, so maybe that wasn't really funny. Q: Why did Jesus cross the road? A: Because a bunch of Romans hell-bent on crucifixion were chasing him. well, getting there... Q: Why did Jesus cross the highway? A: HEY! WHAT'S A HIGHWAY DOING IN ANCIENT ISRAEL? i like that one. of course, in order to be funny, a joke has to steal from older jokes. With that in mind (read: DON'T SOCK ME) you can have this: Q: Why did Jesus cross the road? A: Cause he wanted to give the innkeeper on the other side four nails and ask to be put up for the night. SEE? ORIGINAL MATERIAL MAKES IT FUNNY! g'night. -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790, and now available with Kung-Fu Grip "Yeah, this is good old-fashioned nightmare fuel!" - Crow T. Robot EAT MORE BACON. http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula Available at all Al's Toy Barn locations in the tri-county area.
limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writ: >Duh, okay, Spatch, if that's what you want, but I haven't been able to check >it out yet so I don't know why my name was here. >Ahem, >SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! > SOCK! SOCK! >SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! > SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! Woo. Your name was prolly on the subject thread 'cause you's the one with the sock, man. >Ross--who needs to rest now. All, lil' sock-soldier's all tuckered out. But a job well done. Thanks. - spatch, who's got a sockful of nickels somewhere for you - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790, and now available with Kung-Fu Grip "Yeah, this is good old-fashioned nightmare fuel!" - Crow T. Robot EAT MORE BACON. http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula Available at all Al's Toy Barn locations in the tri-county area.
ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writ: >Mike just said "There's a difference between talking in regional >accents and stupidity". Tom just said "Bite me." Is there a correlation somewhere? >I'm not rightly sure I bleeve that, pilgrim. >Now, let's have a coke and go to a show. Sure, I'll have a root beer. >Gonna come with? Come with what? - spatch, regional dialects of the Olllld West. - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790, and now available with Kung-Fu Grip "Yeah, this is good old-fashioned nightmare fuel!" - Crow T. Robot EAT MORE BACON. http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula Available at all Al's Toy Barn locations in the tri-county area.
In article <4baoe8$8lj@nuscc.nus.sg> matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg (Brett McInnes) writes: >Eddy Tanumihardja (k6teddy@iss.nus.sg) wrote: >: Christmas without Christ isn't. The only reason why people >: prefer christmas without christ is to avoid having to face >: up to the presence of christ. >You're right. Personally I always cross to the other side of the >street whenever I see him. I sometimes cross the street although I don't see him at all, but sometimes I don't. *MM
In article <30dc1b9b.1183688@nntp.ix.netcom.com> mikroa@ix.netcom.com (Michael Roach) writes: >It was the dawn of the third age of Mankind, the year the great war came >upon us all, when vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) wrote: >|In article <4b9sol$cm1@byatt.alaska.net> colette@polarnet.com (Sean & Rachel >Colette) writes: >|>In article <4b2dc8$a06@news.netvoyage.net>, StarFleet@ says... >|>>slampman@teleport.com (slampman) wrote: >| >|>How about using your AOL, Copuserve, and Prodigy disks for bathroom tile? >| >|Is this Copuserve a new escort service? >No, they're going to enforce new U.S censorship rules on the internet from >DrG's office in New Jersey. The internet is already run from there, don't >you know. >Hey Magnus, Agent's spell checker suggests Magnum, Magnums and Ma gnus for >your name. Maybe you should blow their heads off instead of chopping them >off (or hit them over the head with a bottle of fine champaign). Ma Gnu?? Kaaahaaaha! be assured that when I next time see Mr. Forté in ASCII format there'll be not much left of him. I hereby summon Bill and Anti JN to cowork to obtain complete disintegration. *MM -- sorry, no gnus, no doughnuts.
It was the dawn of the third age of Mankind, the year the great war came upon us all, when Andrea R Yakabe <yakabe@lava.net> wrote: |> Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: |> : Where is alt.spudidity? |> |> It's in Idaho. Go down the block 'till you see the church and take a left. |> Fourteen miles past where the traffic light is, you'll want to take a |> right. You can't miss it. | |No, no, no, Steve, you fucked it up. Its in Missouri- Mountain View. Go |right just after the Wal-Mart, pass a bunch of hicks for about three |miles, and then go left. You'd have to be blind- or stupid- to miss it! |Steve, you must be thinking of alt.stupidity-- *that's* in Idaho. Steve got the location of alt.spuditity correct. You were thinking of alt.studidity. You can find alt.stupidity on Antelope Freeway, 4 miles. Then turn left. -- "Wherever there is belching, we'll be there! Wherever there is stupidity, we'll be there! Wherever there is candy, we'll be there!", Wacko, Yakko and Dot Warner
In article <4bim9o$f8b$1@mhafc.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: >Where is alt.spudidity? >-- Now it was all deserted there was no life to find it looked like no beginning it looked like end of time ...oops, alt.spudipity is the next one. Drive thru please. *MM
Nosy (ataylor@nmsu.edu) wrote: : ...where my scissors are? They were here a few weeks ago, now : I can't find them. 0 / \/ /\ Here you go. I was using them 'cause I ran out of cat food. 0 \ ---Steve
..pull my finger
--
The following Web page has a point:
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Picture the little guy inside the yellow triangle digging for it.
..and durnk
--
The following Web page has a point:
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Picture the little guy inside the yellow triangle digging for it.
...and I have to work. Life sucks... ::::::::Do Not Adjust Your Mom, This Is Jason Nafziger::::::::: :::There's A Little Piece of Everyone That No One Else Likes::: :::::::::http://metro.turnpike.net/C/crapco/index.html:::::::::
In some bacon article spatula@retina.net stated: >Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writ: > >>Merry Christmas, everyone! > >Happy Easter! Have a nice weekend! /^JN - The Anti JN - 36 Sparc-5:s all to myself...Great weekend! -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In article <4bofea$k9f$1@mhadg.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: >Merry Christmas, everyone! >--Bill Thanks, but it's Thursday! *MM
In article <4bijsu$bvk@nic.umass.edu> spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) writes: >cstone@nimitz.mcs.kent.edu (HasNoName) writ: >>Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: >>: Please question that in the form of a statement. >>: --Bill (read me dr. memory?) >>SYSTAT. DIRECT READOUT. UPTIME 9:01 >I have been awake for ni-on hours... >- spatch, mmMMMmmmMMMMMmmmmmMMMMmMmmMMM - >-- Yes? *MM
In article <4blhjf$sh8@nntp.crl.com> seaner@exo.com (Darth Vader) writes: >In article <4bkl5n$1tb$2@mhafn.production.compuserve.com>, >70325.1137@CompuServe.COM says... >>ab608@freenet.hamilton.on.ca (Neil Fowler) wrote: >>:Darth Vader (seaner@exo.com) wrote: >>:: In article <slrn4dpb64.2hp.kegranro@colossus.csl.mtu.edu>, >>:: kegranro@mtu.edu says... >> >>:: >.<---------------------------------| >> | >>:: ..-....-...---... | >> | >> | >>:-- | >> | >>Oh yeah? ------------------------------<-------| >> | > | > |----------| > | > |----------------------------| _| > |----------------------| | | > | Yep. ______| > |-------| | > | | > |----| >Sean Okay now that we have the solution could someone please draw the maze? *MM
In article <4bfct9$bs@sparc2.nethead.co.uk> Jonson <jjwiltshire@private.nethead.co.uk> writes: >Hi, my name is Jonson. I just got over the flu and I've just been to a >Nigerian restaurant in Brixton, London, England. That figures. *MM
In article <4bmvni$jf2@news2.isp.net> swan <swan@slip.net> writes: >root@tailor.roman.org (root) wrote: >>On Fri, 22 Dec 1995 22:30:37 GMT, Keith Bennett <devil@firebird.win-uk.net> >wrote: >> : What do vegans serve in place of the turkey or goose for Christmas >> : dinner? Nut cutlets? > There are several excellent vegetarian restaurants here in ol' SF, > and one in particular offers a Christmas dinner with turkey-equivalent > made out of wheat gluten. It's amazing how close the taste in -- you > really can't tell the difference. Does the wheat cluck and flap around when you decapitate it? *MM
chil@news.sfu.ca (keith lim) writ: >spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) writes: >>Q: Why did Jesus cross the road? >>A: Cause he wanted to give the innkeeper on the other side four nails and ask >> to be put up for the night. >> SEE? ORIGINAL MATERIAL MAKES IT FUNNY! >Ok, let's try this piece of advice. >Q: Why did Jesus cross the Sea of Galilee? >A: To get to the other tide. >Hmmm... Keith, it's been too long. Where you been hiding out? -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and the fifth Banana Split "Frank, this is science, not Romper Room." - Dr. Clayton Forrester "And he dug up her grave and built a cage with her bones." - W. "Growl" Zevon PAT BOONE MUST DIE. http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
fts@cris.com (Chester Karma) writ: >In article <4boc68$1pns@news.doit.wisc.edu>, Brian Zeiler ><bdzeiler@students.wisc.edu> wrote: >>-- >>Brian Zeiler >I don't know about your problems.. but I've recently uncovered this SHOCKING >ASCII picture [1]: > ___________ > | AMES LABS | > |-----------| > | _ | > :-) ------> ||_|________| >Could that be our old friend, Smiley? Could that arrow imply he's heading >towards Ames Labs? Could that building-shaped drawing with "AMES LABS" >written on it represent Ames Labs?? You answer these questions. That's no Ames Labs, that's a body of water! >References: >[1] - Smiley, Mr. "A Picture Of Me Going To Ames Labs" _ASCII_Weekly_ > Jan 13 95: 20+. Hey, is that the issue with the faked ASCII picture of Bob Ross and the UFO? >(Newsgroup line trimmed because this is an excessively stupid reply... > and those people in soc.culture.senior-citizens can be VICIOUS!) Yeah, those fuckers flamed me to hell and back for one lousy crosspost. I was lucky I could walk after the beating I got from their walkers. >--- > Can YOU find the hidden message in this .sig? >ASOIUFASDPCASGFNBAWOIGOAOSDFMAMCASODCADSONGEROURUOQTOQURWUTNASDOCPCMALEWKRICNS >HOIBIFSMNREOIUFUVCXNRSOGIUFDGINBOVCBMNNSDYGWRMNVCKIFIFIUJVDIDHASNBGFIAOIDMCOSD >BOPJIYDNJHSOUQGWJAAJGJXOIUNWRBXYCZGORNBVGICVAEMNVOPACIEMVUTRNSJFHGURENFOASDIFJ > Chester Karma ... Fts@Cris.Com ... http://www.cris.com/~fts I FOUND WAH-DO! -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and the fifth Banana Split "Frank, this is science, not Romper Room." - Dr. Clayton Forrester "And he dug up her grave and built a cage with her bones." - W. "Growl" Zevon PAT BOONE MUST DIE. http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
vkhare@premier.net (Vikram Khare) writ: > Could someone please lift the anvil off of it? Abe Smith, this one's for you. -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and the fifth Banana Split "Frank, this is science, not Romper Room." - Dr. Clayton Forrester "And he dug up her grave and built a cage with her bones." - W. "Growl" Zevon PAT BOONE MUST DIE. http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) wrote:
:vkhare@premier.net (Vikram Khare) writ:
:> Could someone please lift the anvil off of it?
:Abe Smith, this one's for you.
Congratulations, Virk!
--Bill
--
The following Web page has a point:
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Picture the little guy inside the yellow triangle digging for it.
In article <DKAwnG.BqC@midway.uchicago.edu> lod2@quads.uchicago.edu (john patrick lodder) writes:
>"The Mists of Avalon Hill," the *definitive* Arthurian Romance boardgame,
>filled with all you favorite characters and situations.
^^^
That sure is one Hell of a game.
*MM
Several species of small furry animals gathered together in a cave grooving with the pict <zen@hal.com> writ: >.but he's trying to get me out of him. But he's trying to tell Congress that he's a nice guy. -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and the fifth Banana Split "Frank, this is science, not Romper Room." - Dr. Clayton Forrester "And he dug up her grave and built a cage with her bones." - W. "Growl" Zevon PAT BOONE MUST DIE. http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
nafziger.5@osu.edu (Jason Nafziger) writ: >...and I have to work. >Life sucks... That's why you do what Spatch does and a month in advance, ask for his birthday -and- the day after his birthday off just to be safe. Then he probably still will have to work, knowing the fascist regime at the place, but it was worth a shot. - spatch, who has to work 3-9 pm on new years' eve and then be back into work bright and early at 7 am on new years' day, so i am moving new years' to june for no apparent reason. - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and the fifth Banana Split "Frank, this is science, not Romper Room." - Dr. Clayton Forrester "And he dug up her grave and built a cage with her bones." - W. "Growl" Zevon PAT BOONE MUST DIE. http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
Just yesterday you said your birthday was tomorrow! By the way, E-Mail to nafziger.5@osu.edu bounces. >From Postmaster@osu.eduThu Dec 28 20:04:03 1995 Date: Thu, 28 Dec 95 23:00 EST
Electronic mail cannot be sent to the following people, because there is no registered forwarding address for them in the WHOIS database: Hrmm. ---Steve Jason Nafziger (nafziger.5@osu.edu) wrote: : ...and I have to work. : Life sucks... : ::::::::Do Not Adjust Your Mom, This Is Jason Nafziger::::::::: : :::There's A Little Piece of Everyone That No One Else Likes::: : :::::::::http://metro.turnpike.net/C/crapco/index.html:::::::::
and bacon. Douglas A. Schultz II Texas Instruments Inc. Std. disclaimer applies, natch. 'Go Ahead..Make My Lunch.' The .44 Magnum Doughnut Lives!
semy@msg.ti.com (Douglas A Schultz II) wrote:
:and bacon.
And, as a tribute to our loyal opposition: "...corn"
:Douglas A. Schultz II
:Texas Instruments Inc.
:Std. disclaimer applies, natch.
:'Go Ahead..Make My Lunch.'
:The .44 Magnum Doughnut Lives!
So what happened to that great verbal hydrant .sig? Did
Ross find it while you were gone?
--Bill
--
The following Web page has a point:
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Picture the little guy inside the yellow triangle digging for it.
Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writ: >semy@msg.ti.com (Douglas A Schultz II) wrote: >:and bacon. >And, as a tribute to our loyal opposition: "...corn" And, in tribute to (l)Laura Zurawski, "... only if it's made of soy." -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and the fifth Banana Split "Frank, this is science, not Romper Room." - Dr. Clayton Forrester "And he dug up her grave and built a cage with her bones." - W. "Growl" Zevon PAT BOONE MUST DIE. http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
In article <4bv81d$eio$5@mhadf.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: >semy@msg.ti.com (Douglas A Schultz II) wrote: >:and bacon. >And, as a tribute to our loyal opposition: "...corn" >So what happened to that great verbal hydrant .sig? Did >Ross find it while you were gone? I didn't know he was looking for it. It's right there in the root dir, see, c:\sig1.txt......Actually, I've just become nicer in my old age. I'm gonna go to a private ppp soon, so I can .sig away as I wish.... But until then, I stopped kicking cats and setting garbage cans on fire out of boredom....well, I did kick a garbage can and set this neighbor's cat on fire last week, but I figgered that it didn't count........boy, was that cat pissed... Douglas A. Schultz II Texas Instruments Inc. Std. disclaimer applies, natch. 'Go Ahead..Make My Lunch.' The .44 Magnum Doughnut Lives!
Smedley the Elephant writ: >username@ansp.br (Username) writes: >>Hello people !!! >> >>Can you help me in my collection ?? >>Well...I'm collect packets of cigarrets empty....Anybody have any packets ?? >>Send me Please....send me for mail....please... >> >>I'm waiting for your packet.. :-) >>My mail address: >> >>To: Maria Auxiliadora Barbosa da Cunha >> Rua Vilaca, 57, Centro >> Sao Jose dos Campos, Sao Paulo >> Cep: 12210-000 >> Brasil > Will the proceeds go to little Spatchie Shergold, who >desparately needs an operation to remove a malignant brain tumor? Lung cancer, actually, but you're in the right bodily hemisphere. -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and the fifth Banana Split "Frank, this is science, not Romper Room." - Dr. Clayton Forrester "And he dug up her grave and built a cage with her bones." - W. "Growl" Zevon PAT BOONE MUST DIE. http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) wrote:
:In article <4bijsu$bvk@nic.umass.edu> spatula@retina.net (tv's
:Spatch) writes:
:>cstone@nimitz.mcs.kent.edu (HasNoName) writ:
:>>Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote:
:>>: Please question that in the form of a statement.
:>>: --Bill (read me dr. memory?)
:>>SYSTAT. DIRECT READOUT. UPTIME 9:01
:>I have been awake for ni-on hours...
:>- spatch, mmMMMmmmMMMMMmmmmmMMMMmMmmMMM -
:>--
:Yes?
:*MM
Clone _ME_ Doctor Memory!
--Bill
--
The following Web page has a point:
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Picture the little guy inside the yellow triangle digging for it.
Am I some kind of AI made of DNA and silicon, floating
in a vat somewhere, and wired into the Internet?
What is that popping sound?
--
The following Web page has a point:
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Picture the little guy inside the yellow triangle digging for it.
sdc@teleport.com (Steve) wrote:
:Nosy (ataylor@nmsu.edu) wrote:
:: ...where my scissors are? They were here a few weeks ago, now
:: I can't find them.
:0 /
: \/
: /\ Here you go. I was using them 'cause I ran out of cat food.
:0 \
\|/
-POP- Hi!
/|\
--Bill (oops! missed!)
--
The following Web page has a point:
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Picture the little guy inside the yellow triangle digging for it.
Anti JN joined the cheer when he doth sayeth:
>
> In some bacon article spatula@retina.net stated:
> >Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writ:
> >
> >>Merry Christmas, everyone!
> >
> >Happy Easter!
>
> Have a nice weekend!
>
> /^JN - The Anti JN - 36 Sparc-5:s all to myself...Great weekend!
Happy New 365 days!...(nope)
Happy New 12 months!...(nope)
Happy New 4 Seasons!...(Goddamn)
Happy New Year!...(phew made it)
Vamp - who thinks spending a weekend with 36 Sparc-5:s sounds a little
kinky.
__ ______ ____ __ _____
| || |\ \ \ \/ \\ __ \ Html back to square 1
| \/ |/ /\ \/ /\ /\ \\ _| Forty-two!, Forty two!
\ / | || || || || || |NEW.sig with stain removers
\/ |_||_||_||__||_||_|Chief Desginer of the ANY key
<a href="http://yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au/~mist/Capybara.html">This
place</a> implied that capybara is considered a food animal
in some countries.
Is this true?
Do they taste like chicken?
Are they available at the local 7-11 here in the United Snakes?
--Bill (suddenly hungry)
--
The following Web page has a point:
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Picture the little guy inside the yellow triangle digging for it.
god@dk-online.dk wrote: > > I'm smart! > > Ulrik Guldbæk > god@dk-online.dk Of course you are..you're God. (So the true name of God is Ulrik Guldbæk..hmm..wait a minute...) __ ______ ____ __ _____ | || |\ \ \ \/ \\ __ \ Html about to go live | \/ |/ /\ \/ /\ /\ \\ _| Forty-two!, Forty two! \ / | || || || || || |NEW.sig with stain removers \/ |_||_||_||__||_||_|Chief Desginer of the ANY key
<In article <4bv43f$eio$3@mhadf.production.compuserve.com Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: <Am I some kind of AI made of DNA and silicon, floating <in a vat somewhere, and wired into the Internet? No, but by Shalmaneser, what a great imagination you've got! <What is that popping sound? <crunch><crunch><crunch> Popcorn.... ...especially the salty ones.
Vamp <AdamJ@sorry_no_email_server_yet.com> writ: >god@dk-online.dk wrote: >> >> I'm smart! >> >> Ulrik Guldbæk >> god@dk-online.dk >Of course you are..you're God. Ahem. *strikes Vamp down with a mighty stoopid thunderbolt* Thus saith the one true God of alt.stupidity. -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and the fifth Banana Split "Frank, this is science, not Romper Room." - Dr. Clayton Forrester "And he dug up her grave and built a cage with her bones." - W. "Growl" Zevon PAT BOONE MUST DIE. http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
deejay@mm.com (Steve Sundberg) writ: >Long Chee Teck Daniel (lcheetec@starnet.gov.sg) wrote: >: There isn't such a thing as "Chrsitmas without Christ". Without >: Christ, 25 Dec would just be another day, like October 17. >Actually, since the date was adopted from the pagan practice of >celebrating the Winter Solstice, there would still be something to >celebrate, Christ or no Christ. > inventory You are holding: a tattered bathrobe a sandwich junk mail no Christ - spatch, who needs to stop playing infocom games and get to work - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and the fifth Banana Split "Frank, this is science, not Romper Room." - Dr. Clayton Forrester "And he dug up her grave and built a cage with her bones." - W. "Growl" Zevon PAT BOONE MUST DIE. http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
sdc@teleport.com () writ: >Nosy (ataylor@nmsu.edu) wrote: >: ...where my scissors are? They were here a few weeks ago, now >: I can't find them. >0 / > \/ POP!! Hello! > /\ >0 \ >---Steve -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and the fifth Banana Split "Frank, this is science, not Romper Room." - Dr. Clayton Forrester "And he dug up her grave and built a cage with her bones." - W. "Growl" Zevon PAT BOONE MUST DIE. http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
mikroa@ix.netcom.com (Michael Roach) writ: >Our Spatch, who is Art in heaven, >Harold be thy name... Close. I played Harold Gorringe in Peter Schaffer's "Black Comedy" about two years ago, but that's not my name. So one down, eight billion, nine hundred and ninety-nine million, nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine to go. -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and the fifth Banana Split "Frank, this is science, not Romper Room." - Dr. Clayton Forrester "And he dug up her grave and built a cage with her bones." - W. "Growl" Zevon PAT BOONE MUST DIE. http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
spatchula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) wrote: :mikroa@ix.netcom.com (Michael Roach) writ: :>Our Spatch, who is Art in heaven, :>Harold be thy name... :Close. I played Harold Gorringe in Peter Schaffer's "Black Comedy" :about two years ago, but that's not my name. :So one down, eight billion, nine hundred and ninety-nine million, nine :hundred and ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety-nine to go. Our Spatch, who r n heaven, Whoever b thy name... --Bill (eight BILLion, nine hundred and ninety-nine million, nine hundred and ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety-eight to go)
swan <swan@slip.net> writ: >slivingston@earthlink.net (Stay Sea) wrote: >>One who loves, loves all who are one... >Mmm-Hmmm! You're one, too! John Jacob Jingerheimer Schmidt? That's my name too! Hey, whenever you go out, do the people always shout "THERE GOES JOHN JACOB JINGLEHEIMER SCHMIDT!" ?? 'Cause in my town, folks don't have much in the way of hobbies. -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and the fifth Banana Split "Frank, this is science, not Romper Room." - Dr. Clayton Forrester "And he dug up her grave and built a cage with her bones." - W. "Growl" Zevon PAT BOONE MUST DIE. http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
Looky, looky, spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) sez: >fts@cris.com (Chester Karma) writ: >>In article <4boc68$1pns@news.doit.wisc.edu>, Brian Zeiler >><bdzeiler@students.wisc.edu> wrote: >>>-- >>>Brian Zeiler >>I don't know about your problems.. but I've recently uncovered this SHOCKING >>ASCII picture [1]: >> ___________ >> | AMES LABS | >> |-----------| >> | _ | >> :-) ------> ||_|________| >>Could that be our old friend, Smiley? Could that arrow imply he's heading >>towards Ames Labs? Could that building-shaped drawing with "AMES LABS" >>written on it represent Ames Labs?? You answer these questions. >That's no Ames Labs, that's a body of water! Your bathtub? >>References: >>[1] - Smiley, Mr. "A Picture Of Me Going To Ames Labs" _ASCII_Weekly_ >> Jan 13 95: 20+. >Hey, is that the issue with the faked ASCII picture of Bob Ross May he rest in peace... >and the UFO? No, that's Flapjack's butt! ::::::::Do Not Adjust Your Mom, This Is Jason Nafziger::::::::: :::There's A Little Piece of Everyone That No One Else Likes::: :::::::::http://metro.turnpike.net/C/crapco/index.html:::::::::
Looky, looky, spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) sez: >Several species of small furry animals gathered together in a cave grooving >with the pict <zen@hal.com> writ: >>limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) wrote: >>>Ross--who learned the hard way with Naked Eyes. >>AAGH!! cover those things you pervert! >Private eyes (clapclap) are watching you (clapclap) >They see your every move... >- spatch, who's sure some things are better left unsaid, but whoah, here she > comes, she's a maneater - Watch out, boy, she'll chew you up... ::::::::Do Not Adjust Your Mom, This Is Jason Nafziger::::::::: :::There's A Little Piece of Everyone That No One Else Likes::: :::::::::http://metro.turnpike.net/C/crapco/index.html:::::::::
NOW STOP THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
--Bill
--
The following Web page has a point:
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Picture the little guy inside the yellow triangle digging for it.
In article <4c7fte$sl0$1@mhafn.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: >NOW STOP THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >--Bill >-- ...umm... Bill, is that really you? I mean is that possible? Alt dot stoopidity isn't a kid porn froup after all? Whew! Now pray tell us your insight on how the CopuCenso assho^H^H^H^H^Hofficials were able to find 200 kid porn newsgroups? <blink><honk> AND WHAT SHOULD I STOP?????????????? </honk></blink> *MM -- who is so confused. Stunned.
semy@msg.ti.com (Douglas A. Schultz II) wrote:
:"In the year 2525, if man is still alive......."
Jeez, I'll be over a 100 by then.
:fut^fut^fut^.......
Now I remember that song!
:Wow. what music! The memories flood back and wet my
:underarms.......
ick
:I sure hope they got the numbering right! The song would kinda
:suck many years from now if after 2524 it went to "in the year
:924527334, if man is bacon".
May the Pentium forever wave!
--Bill (waitaminut!)
--
The following Web page has a point:
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Picture the little guy inside the yellow triangle digging for it.
..rhythms to my brain.
Oops! Sorry! No brain!
--Bill (la de la dah la de dah la de...)
--
The following Web page has a point:
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Picture the little guy inside the yellow triangle digging for it.
Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writ: >..rhythms to my brain. >Oops! Sorry! No brain! >--Bill (la de la dah la de dah la de...) The beat goes on. -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and the fifth Banana Split "Frank, this is science, not Romper Room." - Dr. Clayton Forrester "And he dug up her grave and built a cage with her bones." - W. "Growl" Zevon PAT BOONE MUST DIE. http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
In article <4c1hs6$iti@nic.umass.edu> spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) writes: >ZVRF25A@prodigy.com (Christopher Murphy) writ: >>not me. I'm just shooting the sh*t. >Nice aim, you shot the 'i' out of 'shit'. What a dirty mind you have! Actually, he shot the 'ootou' out of 'shootout'. *MM
Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote:
: ..pull my finger
-XXX-
@b d@
( ? )
\O/
Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: : semy@msg.ti.com (Douglas A Schultz II) wrote: : :and bacon. : And, as a tribute to our loyal opposition: "...corn" Now there's a word you don't hear much these days. ---Steve
I'm researching information on the creature that may have
been seen in the north-western United States or southern
Canada known as Bigfoot.
Any help is appreciated.
Thanks.
--Bill
--
The following Web page has a point:
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Picture the little guy inside the yellow triangle digging for it.
In article <4c3rbc$s95$1@mhade.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: >I'm researching information on the creature that may have >been seen in the north-western United States or southern >Canada known as Bigfoot. Get the bigfoot out of alt dot halibut, strong and frozen! >Any help is appreciated. Here, have some Any help. >Thanks. You're welcome. >--Bill *MM
Sean Farley (zildjian@gatecoms.gatecom.com) wrote: : Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: : : I'm researching information on the creature that may have : : been seen in the north-western United States or southern : : Canada known as Bigfoot. : : Any help is appreciated. : : Thanks. : : --Bill : : -- : : The following Web page has a point: : : http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1 : : Picture the little guy inside the yellow triangle digging for it. : True Yeti...hee heeheehehee. TRUE YETI! Hahahahahaahahaaaaaaaa : hahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaahahaha! Haaaaaah! : I have seen True Yeti! My favorite thread of all time! : Baw haw haw! Hooooo! Haaaaaaaa! : Hey you! Yeah you, lurker! You gave yourself away with the : alt.stupidity followup! Get OUT! Haaaaaah! : - The Farleymeister, meister of Farleyberg and Seoul (P.U.) Wow. That was... different. ---Steve
In article <4c4a9k$odb@news1.usa.pipeline.com> tnhjeastdiv@usa.pipeline.com(Kathy Dixon) writes: >Just because something happens doesn't mean "GOD" wanted it that way. He'd >have to be one busy M.F.'r now wouldn't he? >Not everything that happens in this world is "his" plan. He gave us the >road map - but he's not gonna drive us there.... Hmmm? Is Spatch giving a garden party...? *MM
Vinny (tetsuo@grove.ufl.edu) wrote: : Red October (churchill@cybercom.net) wrote: : : Heh heh...good idea ;) I wish I'd thought of that line....it's all too : : true! Now with AOL, anyone with even something as lowly as a <shudder> : : Mac <ackk, cough, from devoted IBM-lover>, a credit card, and a modem : : can post his/her crap to everyone, and spread his/her idiotic thoughts : : all over the globe.....ahhh, don't you just love technology? :) : Look here now.. there is no need to be putting down macs. I have owned an : ibm for about 10 years.. so i know where you come from. But macs are good : machines. I dont want to go into religion here but nothing can beat the look : and feel of a mac. This is coming from a long time IBM user. Oh fuck. Not this again. This whole dum thread reminds me of a funny story wut happened to me one time. I needed quatters for the phone and the closest place was a McDonnalds. I went in there and said "Can I get four quatters please?" The stupid bitch brung me four god dam hamburgers! Shit. ---Steve
nafziger@osu.edu (Jason Nafxiger) wrote:
:Looky, looky, Paul Batey <pbatey@ocs1.ocs.mq.edu.au> sez:
:>Isn't revoke when you voke something again?
:>Paul
:GET THIS PERVERTED GRABAGE OFFF ARE DESCENT NEWSFROUP, YOU
:SICKOS!!!!!!!!111!!!!
YEAH! LIKE HE SEZ!!!!!
B1LL!!!!!
--
The following Web page has a point:
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Picture the little guy inside the yellow triangle digging for it.
vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) wrote:
Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
Subject: Re: Left Libertarianism
Date: Tue, 19 Dec 1995 14:51:27 LOCAL
Organization: Noitazinagro
:In article <4b5bav$e76$2@mhadg.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes:
:>vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) wrote:
:>:In article <ATAYLOR.95Dec16231625@gauss.nmsu.edu>
:>:ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writes:
:>:><In article <4as8p6$akq@bessel.nando.net>
:>:>ghconkli@bessel.nando.net (Gconklin)
:>:>writes:
:>:>< I COULD CARE LESS WHAT LIBAERTARIANS WANT.
:> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
:>:> WHAT THE HECK IS A "LIBAERTARIAN", ANYHOW?
:
:>:A LIBAERTARIAN IS THAT ABOUT THE WANTINGS OF WHICH GCONKLIN
:>:COULD CARE LESS.
:>AT LEAST LIBAERTARIANS CARE A LITTLE BIT.
:
: WHAT'S THERE TO CURE IN A LITTLE TIT?
:
:>:>< GET OFF TPM.
:>:> WHY?
:
:>:SEECUBA IT'S DEADLY IN LARGE DOSES.
:>HUH? *WHAT'S* ALREADY IN LARGE NOSES???
:
: UMM... YOU DON'T WANNA KNOW DO YOU?
:
:>--BILL (SPEAK UP!)
:
: I ' M S P E A K I N G A S H I G H A S I C A N !
:
:* M M
WELL, SPEAK <FONT SIZE=+10> BIGGER!!!
ObBlink: <blink>
--Bill
--
The following Web page has a point:
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Picture the little guy inside the yellow triangle digging for it.
vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) wrote:
:In article <4b5hck$dg3@news.bu.edu> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil)
:writes:
:>tv's Spatch (spatula@retina.net) wrote:
:>: mergy@macdaddy.com (Jonathan Mergy) writ:
:>: >Bill gates is jesus 'cause he created da internet!
:>: and bacon.
:>But can he beat up Superman.
:Especially the really salty one.
:*MM
Popeye?
--Bill
--
The following Web page has a point:
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Picture the little guy inside the yellow triangle digging for it.
Another head has broken
Bees have taken over
The stinging causes something
Who are we mistaken
But you see, it's not bees
It's just like having bees
In your head, in your head
They are flyin'
With their wings, and their sting
And their sting, and their wings
In your head, in your head
They are flyin'
In your heh-head, In your heh-hey-yeah head
They're still flyin'
In your heh-head, in your heh-hey-yeah head
Like bees, like bees bee-hees bee-hees
Oh-woe oh-hoah oh-woe oh-hoah
But there they are
Another head is breaking
Bees are taking over
When the stinging causes something
We must be mistaken
It's the same old bees since nineteen sixteen
In your head, in your head
But there they are
---Steve (Who'd like to thank The Cranberrys and Bill for their
inspiration so that Ross don't go sock happy on his
playgerizing little ass.)
Mike Kohary <mkohary@u.washington.edu> wrote: |sdc@teleport.com () wrote: |> |>Some advice thing just came on the news about ways to help stop smoking. |>They talked about niccotine gum, patches, hypnosis, subliminal tapes... you |>get the idea. |> |>However, one of the little things they said people should do to help them |>get over the habbit has me concerned about the children. They said to |>"Occupy your hands and mouth with something other than a cigarette." |> |>What did they have in mind? |> |>---Steve |Well, it's obvious what YOU have in mind. I think they were refering to, |oh, food? Lollipops? A backscratching stick? Mike, If you saw that piece, as I did, you would know they showed someone sucking on a tootsie pop candy and that is what they were talking about. I wonder who actually did that piece and how we can get them the information about this great support group so they can mention AS3 next time the do a stop smoking piece on that network. Ian 10m4w+ |-MK
In article <4ca7kj$djj$1@mhadg.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: >Mike Kohary <mkohary@uwashington.edu> wrote: >:sdc@teleport.com () wrote: >:> >:>Some advice thing just came on the news about ways to help stop >:>smoking. >[snip] >[snip snip] >This thread originally had in the followup newsgroups a place >called "alt.smoking.mooses." Is there such a place? [snap] Yes butt i quit there basecue it was dul an borring allways i was there *MM
Huh? Oh nevermind I think I see him!
(Meeyoww)
\ , ,
\ ("\''/").__..--''"'_.
\ __ `9_ 9 ) `_. ( ).`-.__.`)
( Y .)' ._ ) ` `.`'_..-'
_..`--''_..-_/ /--'_.' .'
(il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
Oh THERE you are! You bad bad kitten! Whatcha doin' wandering around on
the net all alone? You could have been KILLED! Oh nice nice kitten yea
there you are oh sweet widdow kiddy kat.
---Steve
In article <4ca1c3$323@maureen.teleport.com> sdc@teleport.com () writes:
>Huh? Oh nevermind I think I see him!
>(Meeyoww)
> \ , ,
> \ ("\''/").__..--''"'_.
> \ __ `9_ 9 ) `_. ( ).`-.__.`)
> ( Y .)' ._ ) ` `.`'_..-'
> _..`--''_..-_/ /--'_.' .'
> (il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
>Oh THERE you are! You bad bad kitten! Whatcha doin' wandering around on
>the net all alone? You could have been KILLED! Oh nice nice kitten yea
>there you are oh sweet widdow kiddy kat.
>---Steve
Yeah! Yeah! What he said!
_-_ ,.__..--''"'_.
( 8 ) `_. ( ).`-.______
\:_)' ._ ) ` `.`'_..---'
_.. .- _..-_/ /--'_.' .'
(il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
*MM
sdc@teleport.com () wrote:
:Huh? Oh nevermind I think I see him!
:(Meeyoww)
: \ , ,
: \ ("\''/").__..--''"'_.
: \ __ `9_ 9 ) `_. ( ).`-.__.`)
: ( Y .)' ._ ) ` `.`'_..-'
: _..`--''_..-_/ /--'_.' .'
: (il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
:Oh THERE you are! You bad bad kitten! Whatcha doin' wandering around on
:the net all alone? You could have been KILLED! Oh nice nice kitten yea
:there you are oh sweet widdow kiddy kat.
Steve, that's a troll. An obvious, blatant troll. I'm not going
to fall for it.
\
" ' . / '
( . " )
9 \|/ .__..--''"'_.
` _ -POP- 9 )`_. ( ).`-.__.`)
( Y /|\.)' ._ ) ` `.`'_..-'
_..` '..-_/ /--'_.' .'
(i .--. -((i).' ((!.-'
l ) -..
Oops.
--Bill (sorry ossifer, i was cleaning it and didn't know it was loaded)
--
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Exterminators. Offer good rates to eliminate those large, tough to control infestations. ===================================================== "Oh, to be in England now that April's there" --RB My opinions are not those of my employer. =====================================================
In article <Pine.BSI.3.91.960101155523.18763B-100000@malasada.lava.net> Andrea R Yakabe <yakabe@lava.net> writes: >I was abducted by aliens last night. They told me to tell you all to be >on your front lawns at midnight on the 5th to visit their planet. I'm interested! Is this 00:00 hrs or 24:00 hrs (0 AM or 12 PM)? >Alisha >Reply to: dewitt@bvsd.co.edu >YOu can't have everything. Where would you put it? Everywhere. *MM
Jason Nafziger (nafziger.5@osu.edu) wrote: : ...and I have to work. : Life sucks... Well I got it off, so I had a happy birthday for you. Just so you know, your cake was angelfood. Ross--who spit all over when he blew out the candles so he'd have all the cake, you hear him!?! All the cake!!!!
Michael Roach (mikroa@ix.netcom.com) wrote: : Our Spatch, who is Art in heaven, : Harold be thy name... : -- Hey, I read that story too. Ross--who wonders if there are 9 billion nickels to go with it.
In some bacon article sdc@teleport.com () stated:
>Huh? Oh nevermind I think I see him!
>
>(Meeyoww)
> \ , ,
> \ ("\''/").__..--''"'_.
> \ __ `9_ 9 ) `_. ( ).`-.__.`)
> ( Y .)' ._ ) ` `.`'_..-'
> _..`--''_..-_/ /--'_.' .'
> (il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
>
>
>Oh THERE you are! You bad bad kitten! Whatcha doin' wandering around on
>the net all alone? You could have been KILLED! Oh nice nice kitten yea
>there you are oh sweet widdow kiddy kat.
>
>---Steve
Yuck! Cute fluffy kitten!
>(Arghhhh)
> \ , , ====
> \ ("\''/").__..--''"'_. | |
> __\ ____`+_ + ) `_. ( ).`-.__.`)___| |_____
> /_________\Y .)' ._ ) ` `.`'_..-/____| |//////\/\
> \_________`--''_..-_/ /--'_.' .'_______| |______/\/
> (il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-' | |
> | |
> ====
You ain't to cute with a broadsword up yer ass, ya piece of fluff!
/^JN - The Anti JN - Wielding his sword for a world with less fluff.
--
######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ########
# The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc #
# Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se #
############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In some bacon article vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) stated: >mikroa@ix.netcom.com (Michael Roach) writes: >>It was the dawn of the third age of Mankind, the year the great war came >>upon us all, when vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) wrote: > > [ *STAB* ] > >>Hey Magnus, Agent's spell checker suggests Magnum, Magnums and Ma gnus for >>your name. Maybe you should blow their heads off instead of chopping them >>off (or hit them over the head with a bottle of fine champaign). > >Ma Gnu?? Kaaahaaaha! be assured that when I next time see Mr. Forté >in ASCII format there'll be not much left of him. I hereby summon Bill and >Anti JN to cowork to obtain complete disintegration. OK, I'll get ready! *Commences stabbing exercises* >*MM -- sorry, no gnus, no doughnuts. /^JN - The Anti JN - Mmmmmmmm...doughnuts...Is there anything they can't do? -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
We ran out of bacon!!!! Melvan--who used the last of it on a meatlover's pizza -- Warning: Contents under pressure. Sudden exposure to intense heat may cause violent bursting resulting in serious eye or other injury.
Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote:
: sdc@teleport.com () wrote:
: :Huh? Oh nevermind I think I see him!
: :(Meeyoww)
: : \ , ,
: : \ ("\''/").__..--''"'_.
: : \ __ `9_ 9 ) `_. ( ).`-.__.`)
: : ( Y .)' ._ ) ` `.`'_..-'
: : _..`--''_..-_/ /--'_.' .'
: : (il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
: :Oh THERE you are! You bad bad kitten! Whatcha doin' wandering around on
: :the net all alone? You could have been KILLED! Oh nice nice kitten yea
: :there you are oh sweet widdow kiddy kat.
: Steve, that's a troll. An obvious, blatant troll. I'm not going
: to fall for it.
: \
: " ' . / '
: ( . " )
: 9 \|/ .__..--''"'_.
: ` _ -POP- 9 )`_. ( ).`-.__.`)
: ( Y /|\.)' ._ ) ` `.`'_..-'
: _..` '..-_/ /--'_.' .'
: (i .--. -((i).' ((!.-'
: l ) -..
(AAHRRRHHRHRHRR!!!!)
-XXX- /
@b d@ /
( ? ) >---/
\O/
: Oops.
(Meeyoww)
\ , ,
\ ("\''/").__..--''"'_.
\ __ `9_ 9 ) `_. ( ).`-.__.`)
( Y .)' ._ ) ` `.`'_..-'
_..`--''_..-_/ /--'_.' .'
(il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
-XXX- Almost forgot, cat's have nine lifes!
@o o@ /
( : ) >----/
\U/
---Steve
Magnus Mulqvist (vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi) wrote:
: In article <4ca1c3$323@maureen.teleport.com> sdc@teleport.com () writes:
: >Huh? Oh nevermind I think I see him!
: >(Meeyoww)
: > \ , ,
: > \ ("\''/").__..--''"'_.
: > \ __ `9_ 9 ) `_. ( ).`-.__.`)
: > ( Y .)' ._ ) ` `.`'_..-'
: > _..`--''_..-_/ /--'_.' .'
: > (il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
: >Oh THERE you are! You bad bad kitten! Whatcha doin' wandering around on
: >the net all alone? You could have been KILLED! Oh nice nice kitten yea
: >there you are oh sweet widdow kiddy kat.
: >---Steve
: Yeah! Yeah! What he said!
: _-_ ,.__..--''"'_.
: ( 8 ) `_. ( ).`-.______
: \:_)' ._ ) ` `.`'_..---'
: _.. .- _..-_/ /--'_.' .'
: (il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
(Meeyoww)
\ , ,
\ ("\''/").__..--''"'_.
\ __ `9_ 9 ) `_. ( ).`-.__.`)
( Y .)' ._ ) ` `.`'_..-'
_..`--''_..-_/ /--'_.' .'
(il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
-XXX-
@o o@
( : )
\U/
---Steve
spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) wrote: :Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@compuserve.com> writ: :>You're the god of alt dot stupidity, have links to Spatula :>Tonight, and are the lead singer in The Bacon Sandwiches. And :>now you have your own rock group! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!! :THAT'S NOT ME, BILL! :*sobs* :I feel violated and insulated (er, insulted) at the same time :and ... *sniffle* AUGH WHY DID I HAVE TO READ THIS ON CHRISTMAS :DAYBWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA It's the Ghost of Spatchmas Present...or something...no, wait :Quote some more Bozos with me, Bill, and help make the pain go :away. Um...plug in th...no...I spell my name da...no...they never come up in the...no...inflate your shoes...YEAH...Infalte yer shoos! That'll work!! --Bill (...the grand canyaaawwwwn!) -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) wrote: :tv's Spatch (spatula@retina.net) wrote: :: sdc@teleport.com () writ: :: >http://fas-www.harvard.edu/~msulliv/spatula.html :: I feel insulted and violated at the same time knowing I share :: space in the same Commonwealth as they. :: I feel a sockathon coming on. :Duh, okay, Spatch, if that's what you want, but I haven't been :able to check it out yet so I don't know why my name was here. :Ahem, :SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! : SOCK! SOCK! :SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! : SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! I didn't know it was this intense. Maybe if they could supply some kind of BUAG (sorry), perhaps me, Jesper, or Magnus could take care of it. --Bill -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
In article <4ca8f6$m0m@nic.umass.edu> spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) writes: >Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writ: >>..rhythms to my brain. >>Oops! Sorry! No brain! >>--Bill (la de la dah la de dah la de...) >The beat goes on. Now she's singing for monnee... *MM
<In article <vtkk.v1wki.1904.012F6E1C@elvi.vtkk.fi> vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) writes: < In article <Pine.BSI.3.91.960101155523.18763B-100000@malasada.lava.net> Andrea R Yakabe <yakabe@lava.net> writes: < >I was abducted by aliens last night. They told me to tell you all to be < >on your front lawns at midnight on the 5th to visit their planet. < I'm interested! Is this 00:00 hrs or 24:00 hrs (0 AM or 12 PM)? It's midnight, on the 5th. 5th of *what*, I dunno. a"gonna be on my lawn with a 5th of Ezra Brooks"taylor
...well, close enough. Check out http://shops.net/shops/Smithfield_Farms/ *MM -- who drools.
In article <4ch60n$32v@news.bu.edu>, Ross Garmil <limrag@bu.edu> wrote: >tv's Spatch (spatula@retina.net) wrote: >: Henrietta Pussycat writ: >: >jnafz@ix.netcom.com writes: >: >>Yeah, but what if it's TONY the tiger??? >: >Yeah, but what if it's SMEDLEY the elephant??? >: Yeah, but what if it's SONNY the cuckoo bird??? >Yeah, but what if it's SNAP the rice krispy??? Yeah, but what if it's SAM the butcher??? [apologies to rec.food.veg] -- ewl@panix.com | http://www.panix.com/~ewl | "You can have my useless cat(1) when you pry it from my cold dead finger(1)." | This work is Copyright 1995 Emery Lapinski and is freely redistributable by anyone and anything with the exception of Microsoft Network. | "Green Cards and Spam" grepped by C&S?
fecteaud@nbnet.nb.ca (fecteaud) wrote:
[snip]
:...that Calvin grew up that is the saving grace for all of us
:who love Calvin and Hobbes when we read this comic we can revert
^^^^^^
You mipelled "prevert." HTH.
:to child hood and hide from the world outside. Just my opinion
:By the way Bill if you happen to read this just remember if
\|/
-POP- Hi!
/|\
:Superman can come back so can Calvin and Hobbes...
Hey! Now waitaminute! I got in enough trouble when I was
quoted out of context when mentioning an SNL skit
involving Ralph Nader! You can't blame this one on me!
--Bill (who's seen calvin and hobbes get into fights)
--
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
<In article <4cfmbb$7oo@nic.umass.edu> spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) writes: <Daren <daren@ccnet.com> writ: <>In this Sundays Foxtrot comic (JAN 7) if you look at the people in the <>backround one of them looks like Calvin. <That's not Calvin, that's the second gunman! <My god, you've done it, Daren, you've really done it!! <Oliver Stone and Kevin Costner will be SO PROUD!! No way, eh? Oswald acted alone, and I can prove it. *FACT*: Oswald didn't belong to the Screen Actors Guild *FACT*: Oswald never even joined Actors Equity *FACT*: There's no record of Oswald ever even doing any dinner theater; no "Lee Harvey Oswald Does Hal Holbrook Doing Mark Twain". *FACT*: There's no evidence at all that Lee Harvey Oswald was ever on the stage. *CONCLUSION*: Lee Harvey Oswald, if he ever even dreamed of being an actor, did so in private. *QED*: Oswald Acted Alone.
YAAAAY People Magazine did something KEEN And told us Bob Vila would be 50 years old this January 20. Which, coincidentally enough, is ONE DAY BEFORE MY OWN BIRFDAY. I hereby declare the weekend of Jan 21st BOB VILA - SPATCH TOTAL WICKED COINCIDENCE WEEKEND. We must all get smashed on cheap shellac and power sanders! -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and the fifth Banana Split "Frank, this is science, not Romper Room." - Dr. Clayton Forrester "And he dug up her grave and built a cage with her bones." - W. "Growl" Zevon PAT BOONE MUST DIE. http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
In article <4cfnom$8pn@nic.umass.edu>, spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) wrote:
>YAAAAY
Break out the party hats!
>People Magazine did something KEEN
Wow! Who reads People anymore? How'd you find this out? Are there pictures of
Jennifer Aniston?
>And told us Bob Vila would be 50 years old this January 20.
"Hi. I'm Bob Vila. And I'm 50. Will you have sex with me?"
>Which, coincidentally enough, is ONE DAY BEFORE MY OWN BIRFDAY.
"Hi. I'm Spatch. I'm not 50 (I don't think). Have sex with Bob."
>I hereby declare the weekend of Jan 21st BOB VILA - SPATCH TOTAL WICKED
>COINCIDENCE WEEKEND.
I saw a B-grade movie like this once... if I recall, it was called "Robert
Villa and the Kitchen Utensil's Totally Wacked-Up Week" .. in the end,
Robert Villa got laid, and the Kitchen Utensil remained his normal Kitchen
Utensil self.
>We must all get smashed on cheap shellac and power sanders!
...and bacon.
Chester = who's giving credit where credit is due... because, REMEMBER:
"BAD CREDIT? NO CREDIT? NO PROBLEM! MORTGAGE AMERICA SAYS YES!"
---
Can YOU find the hidden message in this .sig? (And there IS one now!)
AAOEWIUJHRLIDSKAVNALCDSWFXLNVCNIOIRMYJHGEORCFDNJGBIFDOADGASDOIFUADSFUADSOFIAD
FASDOIUFIAHDNOIFMSNHOREVINHAISKEFTOQTWEOAFSDLIBFNBMVCBASBDFAYDSIXUSZYFCIUWEFS
DAOSKICMCTNVNKFDSIOSOVEIGTJDFKGSDRNPQHWODLLKDUFNCXZLFVDSLIFWEOIRUJYTNVLDKFISD
There is a sentence with 12 words in it hidden. Mail me if you find it!
Chester Karma ... Fts@Cris.Com ... http://www.cris.com/~fts
It was the dawn of the third age of Mankind, the year the great war came upon us all, when sdc@teleport.com () wrote: |Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: |: semy@msg.ti.com (Douglas A Schultz II) wrote: | |: :and bacon. | |: And, as a tribute to our loyal opposition: "...corn" | |Now there's a word you don't hear much these days. I hear the government wants to ban all the corn on the internet! Because of this, Compuserve has blocked access to Iowa!!! -- "Wherever there is belching, we'll be there! Wherever there is stupidity, we'll be there! Wherever there is candy, we'll be there!", Wacko, Yakko and Dot Warner
spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) wrote: :> inventory : You are holding: : a tattered bathrobe Check. : a sandwich Check. : junk mail Check. : no Christ XYZZY !!! Oh, jeeze! Wrong cave! --Bill (who can't figure out what to do with the bell, book, and candle) -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
In article <4cia63$ejo$2@mhadf.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: >spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) wrote: >:> inventory >: You are holding: >: a tattered bathrobe >Check. >: a sandwich >Check. >: junk mail >Check. >: no Christ >XYZZY !!! >Oh, jeeze! Wrong cave! >--Bill (who can't figure out what to do with the bell, book, >and candle) Cover the evil dwarf's eyes with the bell. While the evil dwarf is running blindly around swinging his axe, hit him hard with the book. While the evil dwarf is lying on the floor swinging blindly with his axe, light him with the candle. While the evil dwarf is burning with a low blue flame swinging his axe, go W, W, N, and get the large corn cob. *MM
deejay@mm.com (Steve Sundberg) wrote: :Long Chee Teck Daniel (lcheetec@starnet.gov.sg) wrote: :: There isn't such a thing as "Chrsitmas without Christ". :Without Christ, 25 Dec would just be another day, :like October 17. Waitaminute!! You did your conversions wrong! Dec 25 isn't Oct 17. Oct 17 is Dec 15. Dec 25 is Oct 31! BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Hoo! Ho! ..gasp.. Ha. ..cough.. hee. ...choke... NO CARRIER -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) wrote:
:ZVRF25A@prodigy.com (Christopher Murphy) writ:
:>not me. I'm just shooting the sh*t.
:Nice aim, you shot the 'i' out of 'shit'.
LET ME TRY!!
*
:>not me. I'm just shooting the sh*t.
(ratz)
*
:>not me. I'm just shooting the sh*t.
*
(oh, come on!)
*
:>not me. I'm just shooting the sh*t. *
*
(shit)
* *
:>not me. I'm just shooting the sh*t. *
*
(fuckit)
*
* *
\|/
:>not me. I'm just shootingthe -POP- *
s /|\ t
h .
*
--Bill
--
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
moslener@olympic.net wrote: :> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: :> ..and durnk :> :> -- :> The following Web page has a point: :> http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1 :> Picture the little guy inside the yellow triangle digging for :>it. :> :>>>> :What is the little guy really up to???? Trying to figure out the difference between a triangle and a diamond. --Bill -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
john_kenney@qmgate.arc.nasa.gov wrote: : What does porting the barrel mean? Does it damage the gun in any way. : Also, what is polishing the action mean? Do either of these things damage : the gun in anyway or decrease the value of the gun. Where can a gun be : sent to, to have this done to it? What's the going price? I own a Colt : Adacond 44, would it be wise to have this done to it? I live in the : Northern California, "Bay Area". Are there a good gun smiths that can do : this around where or do I have to mail some where? : Any help would be helpful. : E-mail adress is john_kenney@qmgate.arc.nasa.gov Since this guy obviously missed the slang terms for. . uh <blush> you know. . will some kind soul help him out? ---Steve
Andrea R Yakabe <yakabe@lava.net> wrote: :If a man went back in time to destroy humans before they began, :would it be theoritically possible? (We're counting in the :factors of time travel and the technology to break apart amino :acids) What's this intellechul phillosof...uuh... Whats this entelechul filosof...uhh... WHATZ THIS SMART CRAP DOING ON ALT DOT STOOPIDIDITY!!!! --B1LL -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Magnus Mulqvist (vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi) wrote: : In article <4ca1c3$323@maureen.teleport.com> sdc@teleport.com () writes: : Yeah! Yeah! What he said! : _-_ ,.__..--''"'_. : ( 8 ) `_. ( ).`-.______ : \:_)' ._ ) ` `.`'_..---' : _.. .- _..-_/ /--'_.' .' : (il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-' : *MM Magnus, that's the creepiest decapitation I've ever seen on this froup! Please excuse me, I have to go climb in bed and throw the covers over my head. Ross--who's not getting his sock near that thing.
spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) thundered: :Vamp <AdamJ@sorry_no_email_server_yet.com> writ: :>god@dk-online.dk wrote: :>> :>> I'm smart! :>> :>> Ulrik Guldbæk :>> god@dk-online.dk :>Of course you are..you're God. :Ahem. :*strikes Vamp down with a mighty stoopid thunderbolt* :Thus saith the one true God of alt.stupidity. That reminds me. Has anybody seen papa legba around lately? --Bill (just wondering. really.) -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Hey, everybody, guess what I just got! America On-Line sent me PERSONALLY a disk with their software, on BOTH CD AND DISK. I must be someone special. But that's not all. They even gave me a secret password and registration name that way, I get 10 FREE hours of America On Line. I bet you all wish you were so lucky. Sean
wishes henceforth to be known as !@#$%^&* Thank you.
This group meets a great need.
Alexander Nevsky ROOLZ DOOD!!!11! --Bill (but not at the following) -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: : spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) thundered: : :Vamp <AdamJ@sorry_no_email_server_yet.com> writ: : :>god@dk-online.dk wrote: : :>> : :>> I'm smart! : :>> : :>> Ulrik Guldbæk : :>> god@dk-online.dk : :>Of course you are..you're God. : :Ahem. : :*strikes Vamp down with a mighty stoopid thunderbolt* : :Thus saith the one true God of alt.stupidity. : That reminds me. Has anybody seen papa legba around lately? : --Bill (just wondering. really.) I've been wondering too. Sigh.. He was the first one to reply to my very first post here. (Keylime was the second) ---Steve (Who don't keep track of thirds, fourths, etc.)
semy@msg.ti.com (Douglas A. Schultz II) wrote: :.....tastesgreat,lessfilling..... :.....IyamwhatIyamuckuckuck.. :.....Iatehisliverwithsomefavabeansandanicechiantifskfskfsk... Well, gimme half a dozen of each and six of the other... --Bill (huh??? mr. eye? you gave up spinach????) -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
<In article <Pine.BSI.3.91.960104074616.25225F-100000@malasada.lava.net> Andrea R Yakabe <yakabe@lava.net> writes: < If a man went back in time to destroy humans before they began, would it < be theoritically possible? (We're counting in the factors of time travel < and the technology to break apart amino acids) Uhhhhh.....I dunno. < Alisha < Reply to: dewitt@bvsd.co.edu < Charlie was a chemist, but Charlie is no more.. what Charlie thought was < H20 was H2S04 DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!!
matmcinn@leonis.nus.sw (Brett McInnes) wrote: :john patrick lodder (lod2@quads.uchicago.edu) wrote: :: Exterminators. Offer good rates to eliminate those large, :: tough to control infestations. :Is it true that SW's real first name is Zigeuner? No, you're thinking of Bob Dylan. --Bill -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
not@here.com (Darth Vader) wrote: :Hey, everybody, guess what I just got! America On-Line sent me :PERSONALLY a disk with their software, on BOTH CD AND DISK. I :must be someone special. But that's not all. They even gave me :a secret password and registration name that way, I get 10 FREE :hours of America On Line. I bet you all wish you were so lucky. :Sean That's nothing. I bought a computer magazine at the local grocery store and it DIDN'T have a disk in it! --Bill (who needs one more to do a full backup) -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
: > : >Matt. 8:30 Some distance from them a large herd of pigs was feeding. Hey, I don't remember saying that!
Lutefisk! LUTEFISK! LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTEFISK! thank you. -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and the fifth Banana Split "Frank, this is science, not Romper Room." - Dr. Clayton Forrester "And he dug up her grave and built a cage with her bones." - W. "Growl" Zevon PAT BOONE MUST DIE. http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
Maybe I need a laxative. -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
In article <4coq33$mj0$1@mhafc.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: >Maybe I need a laxative. >-- My advice is that you take a triple dose of vomitive instead. That makes you throw up with such a vigor that your eyes pop out of their sockets. The advantage is ambivalent: - You don't have to worry about the color anymore. - The empty sockets can accommodate much more brown stuff. *MM
Trolley writes: :kkgw@azstarnet.com (Katharine G. Wiles) writes: :>>dtwitkowski@ucdavis.edu (David T. Witkowski) wrote: :>>>I need to verify/debunk a rumor. A friend's boyfriend (of Latin descent, :>>>and a Catholic) recently told her that the Pope has stated that the end of :>>>the world is near and that he will be the last Pope. :> :>I'm afraid, considering his declining health, it's more likely that :>the end of the Pope is near and there will be a next Pope. : :Are you suggesting that the Pope's at the end of his rope? Pope Soap-On-A-Rope! Yes! Dave "for that holy glow; removes embarrassing bathtub halos" DeLaney -- \/David DeLaney dbd@panacea.phys.utk.edu "It's not the pot that grows the flower It's not the clock that slows the hour The definition's plain for anyone to see Love is all it takes to make a family" - R&P. VISUALIZE HAPPYNET VRbeableURLAPvi http://enigma.phys.utk.edu/~dbd/ - net.legends FAQ / I WUV you in all CAPS! --K.
Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: : It seems like there's a lack. Right now. : --Bill \ | / -Bil- Pop! / | \
In some bacon article sdc@teleport.com () stated:
>
>: ********************
>: All cats die. Socrates is dead. Therefore Socrates is a cat.
>: - Eugene Ionesco, Rhinoceros
>
>: My cat's breath smells like cat food - Ralph Wiggum
>: ********************
>
>If Socrates is a cat, and all cats die, and if Socrates is dead, then
>all cats must be Socrates.
>
>I'm gonna name my cat Socrates!
>
>(Brhrhrhp!)
> \ , ,
> \ ("\''/").__..--''"'_.
> \ __ `9_ 9 ) `_. ( ).`-.__.`)
> ( Y .)' ._ ) ` `.`'_..-'
> _..`--''_..-_/ /--'_.' .'
> (il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
>
Dammit Steve! I'm not gonna fall for this one again!
>(Brhrhrhp!)
> \ , ,
> \ ("\''/").__..--''"'_.
> \ __ `9_ 9 ) `_. ( ).`-._
> ( Y .)' ._ ) ` `.`'_.|
> _..`--''_..-_/ /--'_.' .'
> (il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
>
>---Steve
/^JN - The Anti JN - Or perhaps just a little.
--
######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ########
# The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc #
# Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se #
############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
I'm not sure how I should reply to this post. --Bill -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
sdc wrote: :You keep mispernouncing broad. Now quit it. :---Steve Now ---Steve: Just to point out how totally clewless I can be--especially since this thread has nothing to do with me: (1) "Broad" is a form of wide-band antenna. Used mostly for TV and satellite TV reception. (2) "Boards" is an old joke where one guy is standing on a street corner and his friend approaches carrying two two-by-fours. The first guy sez "I said 'bring a couple of BROADS, you idiot!' :jarvis (jarvis@scnc.k12.mi.us) wrote: :: Why is this message on the Smiths board? -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
The McDonald bone connected to the Wendy bone, the Wendy bone connected to the Taco Bell bone ... What if they made a food chain letter? What then? Think of Dave Thomas in a commercial, sending letters to 10 of his "friends." The consequences are dizzying. --john. ===================================================== "Oh, to be in England now that April's there" --RB My opinions are not those of my employer. =====================================================
In some bacon article spatula@retina.net stated: > >Lutefisk! > >LUTEFISK! > >LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTEFISK! No thank you, I'm full. > > > > > > >thank you. No, thank _you_. /^JN - The Anti JN - Lutfisk: Just say no. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg (Brett McInnes) writ: >: > >: >Matt. 8:30 Some distance from them a large herd of pigs was feeding. >Hey, I don't remember saying that! That's cause you're Brett now, you're no longer Matt. With great power comes great responsibility to remember who you are. -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and the fifth Banana Split "Frank, this is science, not Romper Room." - Dr. Clayton Forrester "And he dug up her grave and built a cage with her bones." - W. "Growl" Zevon PAT BOONE MUST DIE. http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
In some bacon article spatula@retina.net stated: >sdc@teleport.com () writ: >>Michael Roach (mikroa@ix.netcom.com) wrote: >>: It was the dawn of the third age of Mankind, the year the great war came >>: upon us all, when ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) wrote: > >>: |<In article <4c3ogr$n7o@maureen.teleport.com> sdc@teleport.com () writes: >>: |< Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: >>: |< : semy@msg.ti.com (Douglas A Schultz II) wrote: >>: | >>: |< : :and bacon. >>: | >>: |< : And, as a tribute to our loyal opposition: "...corn" >>: | >>: |< Now there's a word you don't hear much these days. >>: | >>: | Here's another one....."Toaster". >>: How about "typewriter"? >>New Mexico >Halflife. Hallfife. /^JN - The Anti JN - Like, a flute for the corridor or something. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In some bacon article Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> stated: >sdc wrote: > >:You keep mispernouncing broad. Now quit it. > >:---Steve > >Now ---Steve: Just to point out how totally clewless >I can be--especially since this thread has nothing to do >with me: > >(1) "Broad" is a form of wide-band antenna. Used mostly >for TV and satellite TV reception. > >(2) "Boards" is an old joke where one guy is standing on >a street corner and his friend approaches carrying two >two-by-fours. The first guy sez "I said 'bring a couple >of BROADS, you idiot!' Yeah, I'm bored too. /^JN - The Anti JN - Maybe we should play a game. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In article <4ci792$qgk@nuscc.nus.sg> matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg (Brett McInnes) writes: >Jim (JKaplan1@hr.house.gov) wrote: >: "This above all: to thine own self be true, >: And it must follow, as the night the day, >: Thou canst not be false to any man." >Yea, but what does it mean? The way I see it, it means: "This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not be false to any man." *MM -- who must cut and paste scebeua his hands are sock linked and his heels and toes are reinforced. Bad deal.
Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: : ataylor@nosy (nmsu.edu) wrote: : : a"gonna be on my lawn with a 5th of Ezra Brooks"taylor : :Then limrag@bu.Ross (edu) wrote: : ::Ross--who pleads the 5th Symphony. : OKAY ROSS!!!!(MR.CAPT'N...uuh...waitaminute... : --Bill ...um...this was stupid...beter close it) there : -- : http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1 What's the matter, Bill? Did I pollyadjerice agin? Ross--who would've gotten away with it if it weren't for that meddling Firesign Theatre.
Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: : I'm not sure how I should reply to this post. : --Bill Start with a Z. It's worth ten points. Ross--who sings a tale of a big tall mountain and it's sister, Jilly.
In article <4d02pr$nef@hpscit.sc.hp.com> keithg@boi.hp.com (geith gladstone) writes: >sdc@teleport.com wrote: >: Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: >: : spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) thundered: >: : :Vamp <AdamJ@sorry_no_email_server_yet.com> writ: >: : :>god@dk-online.dk wrote: >: : :>> >: : :>> I'm smart! >: : :>> >: : :>> Ulrik Guldbæk >: : :>> god@dk-online.dk >: : :>Of course you are..you're God. >: : :Ahem. >: : :*strikes Vamp down with a mighty stoopid thunderbolt* >: : :Thus saith the one true God of alt.stupidity. >: : That reminds me. Has anybody seen papa legba around lately? >: : --Bill (just wondering. really.) >: I've been wondering too. Sigh.. He was the first one to reply to >: my very first post here. (Keylime was the second) >: ---Steve (Who don't keep track of thirds, fourths, etc.) > Didn't mean to just vanish like that, but I had a hell > of a time getting on the work release program. And yeah, > in case you were wondering, she did have an ID that > stated she was 18. > -papa "Work release", izitso? I thought it was "New identitity" or something. *MM
In article <4cuegj$a3p@news.lth.se> dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) writes: >/^JN - The Anti JN - Lutfisk: Just say no. >-- And leave more space for surstroemming. *MM
In article <4cv66j$c8b@emerald.oz.net> ajd3@oz.net (Alfred D.) writes: >I'm selling M&M's for a fundraiser- >Someone walks up and asks: >"Are they Plain, or Regular?" > * * >v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v^v >-- >/^\ ._| | ) ||| He's picking on me. Dammit, he's picking on me. *MM
In article <30f30b45.97850260@ixnews4.ix.netcom.com> mikroa@ix.netcom.com (Michael Roach) writes: >Thanks to all for the enjoyment and diversion I've received in this froup, >and I hope I've been able to make some of you laugh from time to time. I am >leaving my current job in California in a couple of weeks and moving to >Jacksonville, FL. I've found that I can't pack and post at the same time >and am curtailing my usenet activities until I settle in. >See you in a few weeks! >-- Who are you? *MM
fts@cris.com (Chester Karma) writ: >For those who aren't enlightened: >This can be done by choosing "Options" on nature's menu bar, then selecting >the menu option "Food Chain". Select "Human Beings" in the first list box, >then select yourself in the second list box. There are three radio buttons: >Carnivore, Herbivore, and Ask on Startup. Be sure to choose "Save Options" >from the "Options" menu, or else your changes will not be saved through the >next Universal Reboot. For those of you using God95, all you have to do is click on the "My Realm Of Existence" icon and change the settings in the control panel. - spatch, remember, God95 supports Plug-N-Pray options - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and the fifth Banana Split "Frank, this is science, not Romper Room." - Dr. Clayton Forrester "And he dug up her grave and built a cage with her bones." - W. "Growl" Zevon PAT BOONE MUST DIE. http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
In article <vtkk.v1wki.1932.0025F613@elvi.vtkk.fi> vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) writes: >In article <30f30b45.97850260@ixnews4.ix.netcom.com> mikroa@ix.netcom.com >(Michael Roach) writes: >>Thanks to all for the enjoyment and diversion I've received in this froup, >>and I hope I've been able to make some of you laugh from time to time. I am >>leaving my current job in California in a couple of weeks and moving to >>Jacksonville, FL. I've found that I can't pack and post at the same time >>and am curtailing my usenet activities until I settle in. >>See you in a few weeks! >>-- >Who are you? ....and why the bloody hell are you moving to Florida? That's stupid. Everybody knows Florida is continually beheaded by hurricanes and flooding and illegal immigrants and sand crabs and .......uh, wait.....you live in California? Ah, everybody knows that California is continually beheaded by earthquakes and sandstorms and mud slides and illegal immigrants. .....boy.....heheeh, living in California, eh?..that's stupid. You should move to The Moon. Nuthin' bad ever happens there......I know, I own it. Douglas A. Schultz II Texas Instruments Inc. Std. disclaimer applies, natch. 'Go Ahead..Make My Lunch.' The .44 Magnum Doughnut Lives!
In article <vtkk.v1wki.1930.00225135@elvi.vtkk.fi> vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) writes:
>In article <ATAYLOR.96Jan9140540@gauss.nmsu.edu> ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy)
writes:>><In article <4cpdjj$ctp@maureen.teleport.com> sdc@teleport.com ()
writes:
>><Does anyone remember the words to The Bugaloos?
>> Uhhhh.....nope. I don't.
>Neither do I, and that settles this matter. No one remembers,
>ecubase together Nosy and I are no one.
I remember:
Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,
a tale of a fateful trip.
That started from this tropic port
aboard this tiny ship.
Flippin like a pancake,
popping like a cork.
Four bananas make a bunch,
and so do many more.
Ginger was a bimbo and
the Howells were rich as shit
Maryanne was a virgin
and professor wanted it.
chorus: Ho ho ho..up on top...
Santa Claus is coming
and he' spinning like a top.
2nd verse, twice as worse:
The mate was a mighty sailin man.
The skipper brave and sure.
While fighting over Ginger,
They ran aground on a backlot movie set.
They soon went into syndication,
and made a ton of bread, but me,
I've been to the desert on a horse with no name,
it felt good to be out of the rain.
In the desert, they can't remember your name.
For there ain't no one for to give ya no blame.....
Douglas A. Schultz II
Texas Instruments Inc.
Std. disclaimer applies, natch.
'Go Ahead..Make My Lunch.'
The .44 Magnum Doughnut Lives!
When we were little, all of us used to have a konky. When we got older, they went away. What gives???? --Bill -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
In some bacon article Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> stated: >When we were little, all of us used to have a konky. > >When we got older, they went away. Yeah, and all we got instead was a bonky! >What gives???? Yeah, where's my konky. And more important, what is a konky, and how do I recognize it? >--Bill /^JN - The Anti JN - Although I wouldn't swap my bonky for anything. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
This is a replacement Play-A-Day to fill the void in alt.stupidity while the
real Mr. Play-A-Day is on sabbatical. Don't blame him if it sucks, blame me.
REPLACEMENT PLAY-A-DAY #3
Scene: An unfinished living room.
Bob Vila: Hello, and welcome to another exciting, thrill-packed edition of
This Old House, I'm your host, Bob Vila, and with me is my ever-vigilant
assistant, Norm.
Norm: Uhmmm. Hi. I never do know what to say during these show openings.
Bob: Get with it, Norm! We've been doing this show for HOW long now?
Norm: I don't know, Bob.
Bob: Anyway, today we'll be working on the floor in this living room.
What will we be doing with that, Norm?
Norm: What's this "we" crap? _I'M_ the one who does all the work!
Bob: Norm! Remember when you told me to tell you that you're being a
jerk? Well this is one of those times, now just answer the damn
question.
Norm: Well BOB, Today, I'll be putting down the foundation woodwork,
which I'll be placing some padding on top of, and finally I'll be laying
the carpet.
Bob: I asked what _WE_ are doing today, Norm.
Norm: As usual, I'll be doing the work, while you get all the camera
time, and all the women too (I might add).
Bob: Just get to work, Norm.
[Norm starts working on the floor]
Bob: [whispering to camera] Pay no attention to Norm. He can't stand the
fact that I'm the real talent here, and he's only getting the tough job
of doing the work because those stupid glasses of his look dumb on TV.
Norm: Then we plane the wood at a 45 degree angle, using this plane saw...
Bob: And while Norm does that, let's go outside and talk to Carla, the
owner.
[Bob goes outside]
Bob: How are things running Carla?
Carla: Fine ever since Norm showed up.
Bob: Forget Norm already! He doesn't have half the talent I have! If he
were half the home-repair guy that I was, HE'D be the one getting the
endorsements for quality Craftsman products! HE'D be the one getting all
the women and attention in alt.stupidity!
Carla: I'm going to go inside and check on Norm.
[Carla goes inside]
Bob: Yeah, Norm... abNORMal is more like it.
[Bob follows Carla inside]
Bob: Oh my god, Norm! What happened?
Norm: My glasses got caught in the table saw, and a chunk of glass hit
each eyeball, modifying their shape and correcting my vision!
Carla: What do you figure the odds of THAT happening are?
Bob: You mean you don't need those stupid glasses anymore?
Norm: No!
[Lawyers from Craftsman enter the room]
Lawyer 1: Norm! Buddy! We want to endorse quality Craftsman products!
Lawyer 2: Only you can purvey the hard-working spirit we like to go along
with our quality Craftsman products!
Bob: Hey! I thought I was endorsing quality Craftsman products!
Lawyer 3: Bob, you're old news. Now that Norm has ditched those stupid
glasses, HE'S the one we want.
Norm: Actually, if that's all it was, I did have a pair of contacts I
could have been wearing all along.
Lawyer 2: Come Norm! Film a commercial for our quality Craftsman products!
Bob: Hey! I'm almost 60! How am I supposed to support myself without the
endorsements of quality Craftsman products?
Lawyer 4: Think of it Norm! You could be the next Copper Top Battery
Family! People will watch TV just to see your commercials for our quality
Craftsman products!
Norm: Yes! Yes!
[The Lawyers and Norm leave]
Carla: Wow.
Bob: Carla! I'm Bob Vila! Will you have sex with me?
[Carla's eyes brighten]
Carla: Hey Norm! Come back!
THE END.
This is not a real Play-a-Day.. but only a cheap imitation :(
Real ones can be seen at http://www.epix.net/~wayne26
---
Can YOU find the hidden message in this .sig? (And there IS one now!)
AAOEWIUJHRLIDSKAVNALCDSWFXLNVCNIOIRMYJHGEORCFDNJGBIFDOADGASDOIFUADSFUADSOFIAD
FASDOIUFIAHDNOIFMSNHOREVINHAISKEFTOQTWEOAFSDLIBFNBMVCBASBDFAYDSIXUSZYFCIUWEFS
DAOSKICMCTNVNKFDSIOSOVEIGTJDFKGSDRNPQHWODLLKDUFNCXZLFVDSLIFWEOIRUJYTNVLDKFISD
There is a sentence with 12 words in it hidden. Mail me if you find it!
Chester Karma ... Fts@Cris.Com ... http://www.cris.com/~fts
A day late with this one... sorry. :) (Doing these things is HARD!)
REPLACEMENT PLAY-A-DAY #4
Scene: A department store
Man: My life is boring and devoid of meaning.
Woman: Mine too. If only something interesting would happen.
Hair-Change-Color-Man: Never fear! I AM HERE!
Woman: Who the hell are you?
Hair-Change-Color-Man: I am Hair-Change-Color-Man... call me HCCM for short.
Man: And what exactly do you do?
Hair-Change-Color-Man: My hair changes color!
Woman: I don't believe it.
Hair-Change-Color-Man: Watch! [POOF]
Man: Your hair just changed from red to orange!
Woman: How do you do it?
Hair-Change-Color-Man: It's a complex chemical reaction, involving dihydrogen
monoxide... which is why you shouldn't try it at home.
Man: [gasp] Did you say Dihydrogen Monoxide?
Hair-Change-Color-Man: Why yes, I did.
[Woman screams]
Man: You'd better hide! The DHMO Task Force will do very nasty things to you
if they find you.
Hair-Change-Color-Man: Nothing that Hair-Change-Color-Man can't handle! I'll
disguise myself. [POOF]
Woman: Wow! Your hair just changed from orange to blue!
Man: That disguise is perfect! Well, except for the spandex body-suit you're
wearing that has "Hair-Change-Color-Man" written across the chest.
Hair-Change-Color-Man: Oh that. Well, a friend of mine can fix that.
Man: Who?
Change-Other-Peoples-Clothes-Man: I can! [POOF]
Woman: Wow, they have a superhero for anything these days.
DHMO Task Force General: Have any of you seen Hair-Change-Color-Man?
Man: No.
Woman: No.
Hair-Change-Color-Man: No.
Change-Other-Peoples-Clothes-Man: No.
Rat-On-Disguised-Superheroes-Man: I HAVE!
DHMO Task Force General: Where is he, Rat-On-Disguised-Superheroes-Man?
Rat-On-Disguised-Superheroes-Man: He's the mild-mannered man with blue hair!
DHMO Task Force General: GASP! We're all in serious danger!
Change-Other-Peoples-Clothes-Man: Leave it to Rat-On-Disguised-Superheroes-Man
to rat on disguised superheroes.
Woman: All these long names are giving me a headache!
Tylenol-Man: Not if I have anything to say about it!
Man: Wow! Tylenol-Man!
DHMO Task Force General: Tylenol-Man! How are you going to help HER?
Tylenol-Man: She can take two of these [POOF] with a glass of water.
DHMO Task Force General: Water?
Change-Other-Peoples-Clothes-Man: Uh oh.
DHMO Task Force General: I NEED BACKUP, NOW!
Backup-Useless-Armies-Man: I'm here, General!
[A riot ensues]
THE END.
Well, that was dumb. A real Play-A-Day would have been better.
Read some at http://www.epix.net/~wayne26
---
Can YOU find the hidden message in this .sig? (And there IS one now!)
AAOEWIUJHRLIDSKAVNALCDSWFXLNVCNIOIRMYJHGEORCFDNJGBIFDOADGASDOIFUADSFUADSOFIAD
FASDOIUFIAHDNOIFMSNHOREVINHAISKEFTOQTWEOAFSDLIBFNBMVCBASBDFAYDSIXUSZYFCIUWEFS
DAOSKICMCTNVNKFDSIOSOVEIGTJDFKGSDRNPQHWODLLKDUFNCXZLFVDSLIFWEOIRUJYTNVLDKFISD
There is a sentence with 12 words in it hidden. Mail me if you find it!
Chester Karma ... Fts@Cris.Com ... http://www.cris.com/~fts
vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) writ: >In article <ATAYLOR.96Jan9140540@gauss.nmsu.edu> ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writes: >><In article <4cpdjj$ctp@maureen.teleport.com> sdc@teleport.com () writes: >><Does anyone remember the words to The Bugaloos? >> Uhhhh.....nope. I don't. >Neither do I, and that settles this matter. No one remembers, >ecubase together Nosy and I are no one. EcuBase: Teaching you the words to the Bugaloos! The Bugaloos! The Bugaloos! They're in the air and everywhere! Flying high, flying loose, Flying free as a summer breeze! Happy as a summer breeze! *takes out kazoo and hums* Don't forget ... ... to write! ... ... we'd love to hear ... ... from you! -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and the fifth Banana Split "Frank, this is science, not Romper Room." - Dr. Clayton Forrester "And he dug up her grave and built a cage with her bones." - W. "Growl" Zevon PAT BOONE MUST DIE. http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
In article <Pine.A32.3.91j.960110231941.74220B-100000@homer07.u.washington.edu> John Nicholson <jrnic@u.washington.edu> writes: >poo poo >pee pee >ca ca >butt >tee tee >wee wee >boobs >Does anyone notice, with a few exceptions, the repetition of a single >syllable in these? I think this is some sort of complex linguistic >phenomenon. Please add to my list. no no. Douglas A. Schultz II Texas Instruments Inc. Std. disclaimer applies, natch. 'Go Ahead..Make My Lunch.' The .44 Magnum Doughnut Lives!
In article <Pine.A32.3.91j.960110231941.74220B-100000@homer07.u.washington.edu> John Nicholson <jrnic@u.washington.edu> writes: >poo poo >pee pee >ca ca >butt >tee tee >wee wee >boobs >Does anyone notice, with a few exceptions, the repetition of a single >syllable in these? I think this is some sort of complex linguistic >phenomenon. Please add to my list. bon bon pa pa ma ma zsa zsa *MM
In article <4d2652$cd4@ds2.acs.ucalgary.ca> oldham@kin.ucalgary.ca writes: >In article <vtkk.v1wki.1933.002896E8@elvi.vtkk.fi> vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi >(Magnus Mulqvist) writes: >>In article <kkgw.317.00AAF55B@azstarnet.com> kkgw@azstarnet.com (Katharine G. >Wiles) writes: >>>In article <4cubnp$f3d@mark.ucdavis.edu> BIOPUB3 <BIOPUB3@ucdavis.edu> writes: >> >>>>>:Are you suggesting that the Pope's at the end of his rope? >>>>> >>>>>Pope Soap-On-A-Rope! Yes! >> >>>>I like the Pope, the Pope smokes dope. >> >>>The Pope smokes dope? The Pope smokes dope? >>>I think you hope the Pope smokes dope! >> >>When you think about death, do you lose your breath, >>or do you keep your cool? >>Would you like to see the pope on the end of a rope, >>do you think he's a fool? >> >>Black Sabbath >> >Push the needle in....ba,ba,ba,ba >Dale No no, that's "Push the needle in faces do sickly grin holes are in your skin caused by deadly pin. >From life you escape realities that wait you turn to something new now it's killing you." but it's another piece and album. Black Sabbath -- forging the user ID of life-happy *MM
ataylor@nmu.edu (nosy) wrote: :<In article <4c3ogr$n7o@maureen.teleport.com> sdc@teleport.com :<() writes: :< Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: :< : semy@msg.ti.com (Douglas A Schultz II) wrote: :< : :and bacon. :< : And, as a tribute to our loyal opposition: "...corn" :< Now there's a word you don't hear much these days. : Here's another one....."Toaster". Oh, c'mon! Tell us about the Story of the Toaster tonight! We wanna hear about the Toaster! If you don't tell us about the Toaster, we're gonna hold our breaths until our blues turn face!!!! WAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!! -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
In article <4d1sps$jbs@ns.interserf.net> jmckeon@interserf.net (John McKeon) writes: >From: jmckeon@interserf.net (John McKeon) >Subject: Re: Problem >Date: Thu, 11 Jan 1996 05:29:40 GMT >limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) wrote: >>Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: >>: I'm not sure how I should reply to this post. >>: --Bill >>Start with a Z. It's worth ten points. >I ate all my Z's. Any other suggestions? Two naughts. They're worth nothing though. >>Ross--who sings a tale of a big tall mountain and it's sister, Jilly. >******************** >All cats die. Socrates is dead. Therefore Socrates is a cat. > - Eugene Ionesco, Rhinoceros >My cat's breath smells like cat food - Ralph Wiggum >******************** *MM
In article <30f5d8e6.14781269@news.cris.com> fts@cris.com (Chester Karma) writes: >In article <4d3nd3$qkd@nntp.crl.com>, DVader@theforce.com (Darth Vader) wrote: >>Two of them, actually, one to Chester Karma for his attempt >>to fill the void left by his replacement play-a-days, which I did >>enjoy. And another to the returning Play-a-Day, we missed you here. >Here here! I was beginning to get PAD-On-The-Brain.... anyway, what'd y'all >think of my humble little replacements? (Be brutal) >--- Well, as for me, I beheadered them. *MM -- who thus obeyed your request in advance.
In article <30f40b68.5667061@news.cris.com> fts@cris.com (Chester Karma) writes: >In article <vtkk.v1wki.1932.0025F613@elvi.vtkk.fi>, vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi >(Magnus Mulqvist) wrote: >>In article <30f30b45.97850260@ixnews4.ix.netcom.com> mikroa@ix.netcom.com >(Michael Roach) writes: >>>See you in a few weeks! >>>-- >>Who are you? >Who is blue? Buxton the Cat is. Well actually he's bluuuuue (I counted them too), but I think it's close enough. *MM
In article <ATAYLOR.96Jan10134735@gauss.nmsu.edu> ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writes: ><In article <4d0ebr$ch0@sun4.bham.ac.uk> Unknwon@bham.ac.uk (Aston Webb 3 Public>Cluster) writes: >< Grass falls up and rain grows down. S'true! > Grass? Rain? What are these things? Grass is a german steel drum band; Rain is the One that Holds the Bow (and Likes Bananas). (or was it Goes.) *MM
Anyone know when they're due to make an appearance? One of them owes me money, and I haven't seen the bastard in years. -papa
Remember, the bit of fluff is important. You need the bit of fluff. DON"T DROP IT!! john.
Jargon Jargon Jargon Jargon Jargon Jargon You know, after awhile, it looks like the name of a character in a bad science fiction movie. -------------------Bill -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Hello again!! I'm back!!! Did you miss me? Did you know I was gone? Do you even know who I am? :-( mircalla - who may gain a capital M from experience. __^__ __^__ ( ___ )-----------------------------------------------------------------( ___ ) | / | ,__ __ o _ _ Email: | \ | | / | /| | | ,_ __ __, | || | __, mircalla@cyberspace.org | \ | | / | | | | | / | / / | |/ |/ / | or.. | \ | |___| | | |_/|_/ |_/\___/\_/|_/|_/|_/\_/|/ ksm3ba@herts.ac.uk |___| (_____)-----------------------------------------------------------------(_____)
In some bacon article lod2@midway.uchicago.edu stated: >Remember, the bit of fluff is important. You need the bit of fluff. >DON"T DROP IT!! You need to put it on the fire in the old cabin. All fluff must burn!!! >john. /^JN - The Anti JN - Yeah, how did you know? -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In some bacon article Mircalla Mordenheim <ksm3ba@sirius> stated: >Hello again!! Hello! >I'm back!!! Did you miss me? Did you know I was gone? Who? When? Where? Why? >Do you even know who I am? :-( You're the cute girl from next door? >mircalla - who may gain a capital M from experience. Good work, you only get capital M:s after level 19! /^JN - The Anti JN - Who's got capital J and N:s. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
asuter@netcom.com (Lupus Yonderboy) writ: >Thus spake kkgw@azstarnet.com (Katharine G. Wiles): >>>>:Are you suggesting that the Pope's at the end of his rope? >>>>Pope Soap-On-A-Rope! Yes! >>>I like the Pope, the Pope smokes dope. >>The Pope smokes dope? The Pope smokes dope? >>I think you hope the Pope smokes dope! >This all sounds like Dr. Seuss gone horribly wrong. >One pill >Two pill >Red pill >Blue pill >This one makes you see things green >This one makes you lose your spleen >My, but that pharmacist is mean! Whack. Crack. Whack smokes crack. Whack Flapjack smokes crack that's black. Say, Whack! What up, Jack? How come you smokin' crack that's black? Would you like some crack that's black? I would not like some crack that's black. I would not, man, that crack is whack! No, I'm Whack; this crack is black. I would not smoke some crack that's black. It might give me a heart attack. Would you smoke it in a vial? Would you smoke it all the while? I would not, could not, in a vial. I would not, could not, all the while. I would not smoke that crack that's black. It might give me a heart attack. How bout on the B-Ball court? How about with Martin Short? No! Not on the B-Ball court! Not with Mister Martin Short! I would not, could not, in a vial, I will not, shall not, all the while! I will not smoke some crack that's black! It might give me a heart attack! Try some in this darkened alley. Try some watching The Gumball Rally. Not in an alley, no Gumball Rally, not on the court, not with M. Short, Not in a vial, not all the while, I will not smoke some crack that's black, It might give me a heart attack! You can smoke it with your posse. You can smoke it with Bob Fosse. Not with my posse, not with Bob Fosse, Bob Fosse's dead, you see? I will not smoke some crack that's black. It might give me a heart attack! Come on, Jack, don't be that way. Nancy Reagan says OK. Stop it, Whack, I've had enough. I'll smoke it then I'll die and stuff. (takes a hit from the black crack pipe) sssssaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy..... there it is.......... Man, I dig this crack that's black. And you know what? I'll tell you, Whack... I would smoke it with my posse, and I would smoke it with Bob Fosse, If Bob Fosse weren't dead, you see. You sure this stuff comes legally? And I would smoke it in an alley, and while watching the Gumball Rally, And also on a B-Ball court, and why not with Ed Grimley? Er, Martin Short? And though I can't smoke it in a vial, I'd still smoke it all the while Cause I sure do like this crack that's black --- WAIT! SHIT, I HAD A HEART ATTACK! (dies) Hey, he was right all along. THE END -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and the fifth Banana Split "Frank, this is science, not Romper Room." - Dr. Clayton Forrester "And he dug up her grave and built a cage with her bones." - W. "Growl" Zevon PAT BOONE MUST DIE. http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
<In article <4ctkhi$mg4@main.freenet.hamilton.on.ca> ab608@freenet.hamilton.on.ca (Neil Fowler) writes: < If have any information relating to this brain, or any other missing brain, < past here. You need not leave your name, and in all cases there is no < reward for information leading to the discovery of any missing brain. Well, my friend Igor (pronounced "EYE-gore") has one from someone named, uh, wait, it's hard to read.... ...hm. Is yer name Abbie Normal?
<In article <4d425u$788@ns.interserf.net> jmckeon@interserf.net (John McKeon) writes: < "Michael S. Holmes" <msh104@psu.edu> wrote: < >I hired an assassin to track me down and kill me because I thought it < >would be fun trying to avoid him. Now I'm tired of playing this game, < >but he's still after me! < > - M. Holmes < < < Have you thought about complaining to the assassin's guild? Is this a reference to D&D? Hmm. I never thought that *anything* was too stooopid for atl.stupdidity, but ... hmmm....
Nosy (ataylor@nmsu.edu) wrote: : <In article <DKv7En.2qE@murdoch.acc.Virginia.EDU> Rick Springfield writes: : <sunshine@netwest.com (Adam Sunshine) writes: : <>I'm trying to figure out what the deal is with this newsgroup. Who reads and : <>posts to alt.stupidity? Oh, I was just checking out the coolest newsgroups... : <I post here, but I do not read the group. : That is wisdom. Then it's in the wrong froup. Ross--I'm a Big Frog
several species of small furry animals gathered together in a cave grooving with the pict <zen@hal.com> writ: >What happened to those old family favorites like 'farting Bob Villa', and >'directions to my house'.. huh? Hmm, those were on someone else's collection of pages. I don't remember putting those on. Check Anti-JN's collekshun. >.and another thnig, I didn't see anything about Ross (he's a big frog) on >the stupid FAQ.. whaddabout Ross? Check the date on the FAQ. The FAQ is in major overhaulage right now, and I'm moving the Stupid Homepage to retina, and ... eck. I AM HAVING A MIDLEEF CRISUS! -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and the fifth Banana Split "Frank, this is science, not Romper Room." - Dr. Clayton Forrester "And he dug up her grave and built a cage with her bones." - W. "Growl" Zevon PAT BOONE MUST DIE. http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
several species of small furry animals gathered together in a cave grooving with the pict (zen@hal.com) wrote: : What happened to those old family favorites like 'farting Bob Villa', and : 'directions to my house'.. huh? Time passes....seasons change....old emails fade away. Even Slang Terms for Masturbation ends once in a while. : .and another thnig, I didn't see anything about Ross (he's a big frog) on : the stupid FAQ.. whaddabout Ross? Shhh. I'm a secret. : Sean: out from under his rock for a change (been trying to get that off for : ages) Ross--I'm a Big Frog
<In article <4d6nv9$38s@news.bu.edu> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: <several species of small furry animals gathered together in a cave grooving with the pict (zen@hal.com) wrote: <: What happened to those old family favorites like 'farting Bob Villa', and <: 'directions to my house'.. huh? <Time passes....seasons change....old emails fade away. <Even Slang Terms for Masturbation ends once in a while. DiHydrogen Monoxide, of course, is still a MAJOR THREAT to MANkind.
spatula@retina.com (tv's Spatch) declared: :I hereby declare the weekend of Jan 21st BOB VILA - SPATCH TOTAL :WICKED COINCIDENCE WEEKEND. :We must all get smashed on cheap shellac and power sanders! Sounds like a party! Countdown: Party at Spatch's in 9 days! --Bill -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
It was the dawn of the third age of Mankind, the year the great war came upon us all, when amsler@nevada.edu (JOHN AMSLER) wrote: |tv's Spatch (spatula@retina.net) wrote: | |: YAAAAY | |: People Magazine did something KEEN | |: And told us Bob Vila would be 50 years old this January 20. | |: Which, coincidentally enough, is ONE DAY BEFORE MY OWN BIRFDAY. | |: I hereby declare the weekend of Jan 21st BOB VILA - SPATCH TOTAL WICKED |: COINCIDENCE WEEKEND. Even more wikkid: My birthday is ONE DAY AFTER Bob Vila's birthday!!! I was going to fly into Ft Lauderdale and drive up to Jacksonville but I may just have to sillybrate in Miami instead! So what are you going to get me? |: We must all get smashed on cheap shellac and power sanders! Can I power brewskis instead? |If you drink cheap shellac, you'll probably die ... but it'll be a unique |"finish". | |And that's the un"varnished" truth! | |- John J. Amsler, Life Member: | The International Save the Pun Foundation | Box 5040, Station A | Toronto, Canada M5W1N4 -- "Wherever there is belching, we'll be there! Wherever there is stupidity, we'll be there! Wherever there is candy, we'll be there!", Wacko, Yakko and Dot Warner
Chester Karma (fts@cris.com) wrote: : In article <4d3nd3$qkd@nntp.crl.com>, DVader@theforce.com (Darth Vader) wrote: : >Two of them, actually, one to Chester Karma for his attempt : >to fill the void left by his replacement play-a-days, which I did : >enjoy. And another to the returning Play-a-Day, we missed you here. : Here here! I was beginning to get PAD-On-The-Brain.... anyway, what'd y'all : think of my humble little replacements? (Be brutal) You're a worthless piece of crud! Get out of here! I can't stand you!!!! Why are you still here!?!?!?!!?!?!! And I don't care what your damn secret message is. Ross--who liked the replacement play-a-days, but Chester said to be brutal, and he always does what he's told.
The .44 Magnum Doughnut wrote: :*click* :"and in other news, Walter Cronkite has announced his candidacy :for Presiden.." :*click* :"...yer soaking in it".... :*click* :"I love you....you lov"... :*click* :"heheheeeheheheheh........thingies are cool"..... :*click* :"I'm Earl Scheib. I'll paint any car for $29.9.." :*click* :"Bird stole the ball!!!!! Larry Bird stole the ball".. :*click* :"...but I didn't inhale". :*click* :" Oh damn, I've broken another nail. You'll have to call Luke :and tell him.." :*click* :"...to the 20, the 15...10, 5, TOUCHDOWN"... :*click* :"hello there friends, I'm here today to talk about....diarrhe.." :*click* :"BUD"....."WEI".... :*click* :"Today, Geraldo talks to Oprah who talks to Carnie who talks to :Danny"... :*SNAP* :nothin' on the damn toob. :think I'll check out alt.stooopiditititity......... Don't bother. They don't deliver in sector R. --Bill (who no longer lives up in the hills) -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
qwerty.
I hate it when that happens.
Why didn't they call it poiuyt ?
Douglas A. Schultz II
Texas Instruments Inc.
"...the verbal hydra..."
Damn. I've just developed this terrible craving for cheese and only have a small chunk left in the house. Hope someone helps. --Bill (whose gotta go) -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
In some bacon article Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> stated: >spatula@retina.com (tv's Spatch) declared: > >:I hereby declare the weekend of Jan 21st BOB VILA - SPATCH TOTAL >:WICKED COINCIDENCE WEEKEND. > >:We must all get smashed on cheap shellac and power sanders! > >Sounds like a party! Yes! I'll bring the crackers and vodka! >Countdown: > >Party at Spatch's in 9 days! Party at Spatch's in 6 days! >--Bill /^JN - The Anti JN - Mmmmmmmm...Party... -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
<In article <4d46qr$pnv@news4.digex.net> jmwilson@access5.digex.net (John Wilson) writes: < Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: < : When we were little, all of us used to have a konky. < : When we got older, they went away. < : What gives???? < < Well, if it makes you feel any better, I can lend you my konky until you < get your konky back. But please, I am very fond of my konky and would < not want anything to happen to Kookey ( my konky ). Hey, I didn't *need* a konky, I had a Sampo, but now it's lost.... Maybe I should get a Twonky, instead?
Scene: A little man hopping about a room full of computers. Man: (staring at monitor) He he he! Now here's some juicy e-mail! Oh my! She does? Wow! Wait till the boys at the pool hall here about this! He runs over to the next computer. Man: (peering at monitor) Boring... boring! All this guy ever writes about is his potato collection. Who wants to read e-mail about this? Wait a minute... he does WHAT with fries??? Oh my God... this is sick! He he he! He runs over to the next computer. Man: (drooling on monitor) Ooooh, this is good. This is very good. Oooooh... A second man steps out of the shadows. Second Man: Have you ever wondered if your e-mail is secure? If anyone else is reading the most private thoughts you commit on computer? If somebody knows your deepest darkest secrets? First Man: (hugging the monitor) I love this e-mail. It's great! Second Man: Well, the answer is, everyone is looking at your e-mail. Late at night, after you've gone to bed, or left for the day, or are using the bathroom, they're here, cracking into your e-mail. And loving it! First Man: (making a face) Jeez, this guy only talks about work. Dullard. Second Man: Some juicy e-mail can fetch up to $100 on the illegal Thailand e-mail market. We should know, we've gotten rich from it. Rich enough to produce this commercial, and show it on Super Bowl Sunday. Okay, it's not on the Super Bowl channels, but we're close. And now we have an offer just for you! First Man: (doing unmentionable eyebrow stunts) This e-mail makes my eyebrows twitch. Second Man: For only $39.95, you can have The Club for E-Mail. The Club prevents any would-be e-mail thief from stealing your e-mail. Just catch the would-be thief, and club him. Mercilessly. That'll stop him. Just like this! The second man clubs the first man several times. Second Man: Of course, make sure to wear gloves, so that your hands stay nice and warm. Order The Club now. Only $39.95 per month! And sleep easy, knowing that your e-mail is secure! First Man: Can you get me a doctor... Second Man: After we cut from commercial. The lights fade, the commercial ends. The End Hmmm, e-mail insecurity isn't a joking matter. Just ask Wanda P., who's poignant e-mail can now be seen on my web page at http://www.epix.net/~wayne26
In article <4d9csa$60t$1@mhadf.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: >Damn. >I've just developed this terrible craving for cheese and >only have a small chunk left in the house. >Hope someone helps. >--Bill (whose gotta go) >-- Buy a new house. But if you gotta go, well it's all right, but if you gotta go, go now, or else you gotta stay all night. HTH. *MM
In some bacon article sdc@teleport.com () stated:
>(Meeyoww)
> \ , ,
> \ ("\''/").__..--''"'_.
> \ __ `9_ 9 ) `_. ( ).`-.__.`)
> ( Y .)' ._ ) ` `.`'_..-'
> _..`--''_..-_/ /--'_.' .'
> (il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
>
>
(Splatt!!!) |/\/\/|
\ , , |/\/\/|
\ ("\''/")|/\/\/|''"'_.
\ __ `+_ + )|/\/\/|( ).`-.__.`)
( Y .)'|/\/\/|` `.`'_..-'
_..`--''_.|/\/\/|--'_.' .'
(il ).-'' (|/\/\/|((!.-'
|/\/\/|
|/\/\/|
|/\/\/|
|/\/\/|
/^JN - The Anti JN - Damn you Steve! I'm running out of ways to kill cats!
--
######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ########
# The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc #
# Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se #
############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In article <4da35c$31k@maureen.teleport.com> sdc@teleport.com () writes:
>(Meeyoww)
> \ , ,
> \ ("\''/").__..--''"'_.
> \ __ `9_ 9 ) `_. ( ).`-.__.`)
> ( Y .)' ._ ) ` `.`'_..-'
> _..`--''_..-_/ /--'_.' .'
> (il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
You're right... only five more to go.
I think I'll have pity this time.
...HAR! Fooled ya!
_-_ ,.__..--''"'_.
( 8 ) `_. ( ).`-.______
\:_)' ._ ) ` `.`'_..---'
_.. .- _..-_/ /--'_.' .'
(il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
*MM
In some bacon article Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> stated: >JEEZE!!! > >It's three o'clock in the morning! No it's not! It's 16:39! >--Bill >"Against stupidity, the gods themselves contend in vain." > Friedrich von Schiller > To see why, check out: > http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1 Waitaminnit! Your .sig! It's growing! /^JN - The Anti JN - Run away!!! -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In article <4d937q$cvg@maureen.teleport.com> sdc@teleport.com () writes:
>Magnus Mulqvist (vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi) wrote:
>: In article <4d4n6l$q5b@lastactionhero.rs.itd.umich.edu> mr@umd.umich.edu
>writes:
>: >Subject: ANIMAL LOVERS PLEASE READ
>: Deem ye we're preverts here?
>: *MM
>(Mrowwugh Mrrrough)
> \ , ,
> \ ("\''/").__..--''"'_.
> \ __ `9_ 9 ) `_. ( ).`-.__.`)
> ( Y .)' ._ ) ` `.`'_..-'
> _..`--''_..-_/ /--'_.' .'
> (il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
Mrowwugh mrrrough my ass! WE'RE NO PREVERTS!!
: _-_ ,.__..--''"'_.
: ( 8 ) `_. ( ).`-.______
: \:_)' ._ ) ` `.`'_..---'
: _.. .- _..-_/ /--'_.' .'
: (il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
*MM
I want candy. Candy, give 'em what they want. But Daddy, I want an Oompa Loompa NOW. uh, gosh, life gets confusing sometimes. ===================================================== "Oh, to be in England now that April's there" --RB My opinions are not those of my employer. =====================================================
In article <4d7jlk$e44@news.lth.se>, Anti JN <dat92jni@ludat.lth.se> wrote: >In some bacon article lod2@midway.uchicago.edu stated: >>Remember, the bit of fluff is important. You need the bit of fluff. >>DON"T DROP IT!! > >You need to put it on the fire in the old cabin. >All fluff must burn!!! Yah, alright, go ahead. But you're the one who'll suffer the consequences. You'll be stuck forever at the Cocktail Party of Doom. ===================================================== "Oh, to be in England now that April's there" --RB My opinions are not those of my employer. =====================================================
In some bacon article lod2@midway.uchicago.edu stated: >In article <4d7jlk$e44@news.lth.se>, Anti JN <dat92jni@ludat.lth.se> wrote: >>In some bacon article lod2@midway.uchicago.edu stated: >>>Remember, the bit of fluff is important. You need the bit of fluff. >>>DON"T DROP IT!! >> >>You need to put it on the fire in the old cabin. >>All fluff must burn!!! > >Yah, alright, go ahead. But you're the one who'll suffer the consequences. >You'll be stuck forever at the Cocktail Party of Doom. Sounds good, booze and the opportunity to blow up monsters. /^JN - The Anti JN - Of course, I'll cheat. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In article <4d9v8m$r17@guava.epix.net> wayne26@epix.net (Mr. Play-A-Day) writes: >The Official Play-A-Day List >I've almost been doing this for a year, and as of 1/14/96, there are >147 of these PADs sitting on my computer. The entire list: When will they be available on CDROM? *MM
In article <ATAYLOR.96Jan14123615@gauss.nmsu.edu> ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writes: ><In article <4d46qr$pnv@news4.digex.net> jmwilson@access5.digex.net (John >Wilson) writes: >< Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: >< : When we were little, all of us used to have a konky. >< : When we got older, they went away. >< : What gives???? >< >< Well, if it makes you feel any better, I can lend you my konky until you >< get your konky back. But please, I am very fond of my konky and would >< not want anything to happen to Kookey ( my konky ). > Hey, I didn't *need* a konky, I had a Sampo, but now it's > lost.... Damn. *MM
In article <4ddshv$kqs@merkurius.lu.se> dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) writes: >In some bacon article Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> stated: >>JEEZE!!! >>It's three o'clock in the morning! >No it's not! >It's 16:39! No it's not! It's 4 in the morning, the end of December, and it's Thursday! *MM /lc
On Wed, 10 Jan 1996, Magnus Mulqvist wrote: > In article <4cuegj$a3p@news.lth.se> dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) writes: > > >/^JN - The Anti JN - Lutfisk: Just say no. > >-- > And leave more space for surstroemming. > > *MM > And for krompflibbing. Mircalla. __^__ __^__ ( ___ )-----------------------------------------------------------------( ___ ) | / | ,__ __ o _ _ Email: | \ | | / | /| | | ,_ __ __, | || | __, mircalla@cyberspace.org | \ | | / | | | | | / | / / | |/ |/ / | or.. | \ | |___| | | |_/|_/ |_/\___/\_/|_/|_/|_/\_/|/ ksm3ba@herts.ac.uk |___| (_____)-----------------------------------------------------------------(_____)
In article <DL8DLH.MzF@midway.uchicago.edu> lod2@quads.uchicago.edu (john patrick lodder) writes: >In article <4d3ofl$84q@cronkite.amoco.com>, >Robert L. Watson <rlwatson@amoco.com> wrote: >>wolfma@microsoft.com (Wolfgang Manousek) wrote: >>>matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg (Brett McInnes) wrote: >>> >>>>john patrick lodder (lod2@quads.uchicago.edu) wrote: >>>>: Exterminators. Offer good rates to eliminate those large, tough >>>>: to control infestations. >>> >>>>Is it true that SW's real first name is Zigeuner? >>> >>>Wer sagt denn das ? >>> >> >>If that were true, wouldn't it be Zigeunerin, at least? >Isn't there a really sappy, dramatic balad type song about a Gypsy girl? I was only 17 when I fell in love with a gypsy queen she told me hold on. Father was the leading man, said you're not welcome on our land then as a foe he told me to go, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. I was out of there quite a time, came back with her on my mind sweet little girl, she means all the world, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. [wild organ solo etc.] *MM /uh
In some bacon article vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) stated: >In article <4ddshv$kqs@merkurius.lu.se> dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) writes: >>In some bacon article Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> stated: > >>>JEEZE!!! >>>It's three o'clock in the morning! > >>No it's not! >>It's 16:39! > >No it's not! >It's 4 in the morning, the end of December, and it's Thursday! No wait! It's 6:36 in the morning of the 7 November! Have a nice weekend! >*MM /lc /^JN - The Anti JN - /eieio -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
Where'd this news group come from? --Bill -- wxwilki@lookout.ecte.uswc.uswest.com | To be is to do -- Hegel They're my opinions, not your's or | To do is to be -- Marx anybody else's (well, maybe). | Do be do be do -- Sinatra
The artist formerly known as <fnargle@primenet.com> wrote:
:Bill Wilkinson <wxwilki@lookout> wrote:
:> Where'd this news group come from?
:From a newgroup that was in control.newgroup until I went to
:look for it and post it here. It was there earlier, I swear...
My clones don't get control.newgroup. But they're too stupid
to get much of anything. That's clones for you.
:Wow. Cancelling newgroup msgs instead of issuing an rmgroup?
:Will that WORK?
Wadda umean? I don't get it.
:-E, dammit, NOT YAZ, OKAY?
E, dammit? Any relation to Gumby, dammit?
--Bill (yaz who?)
--
"Against stupidity, the gods themselves contend in vain."
Friedrich von Schiller
To see why, check out this place which does have a point:
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
On Tue, 16 Jan 1996 17:02:18 GMT, Mircalla Mordenheim <ksm3ba@sirius> wrote: > On Wed, 10 Jan 1996, Magnus Mulqvist wrote: > > In article <4cuegj$a3p@news.lth.se> dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) writes: > > > > >/^JN - The Anti JN - Lutfisk: Just say no. > > >-- > > And leave more space for surstroemming. > > > > *MM > > > And for krompflibbing. Leave us not get sick and perverted! cagey -- this is a family froup -- new .sig Real Soon Now
Looky, looky, several species of small furry animals gathered together in a cave grooving with the pict <zen@hal.com> sez: >What happened to those old family favorites like 'farting Bob Villa', and >'directions to my house'.. huh? You may be thinking of my page, where I had to get rid of my archives because, well, I just couldn't keep up anymore. >.and another thnig, I didn't see anything about Ross (he's a big frog) on >the stupid FAQ.. whaddabout Ross? Yeah, Spatch, whaddabout him? Don't you think it's about time for a <gasp> NEW VERSION OF THE FAQ??? ::::::::Do Not Adjust Your Mom, This Is Jason Nafziger::::::::: :::There's A Little Piece of Everyone That No One Else Likes::: :::::::::http://metro.turnpike.net/C/crapco/index.html:::::::::
Looky, looky, dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) sez: >In some bacon article Mircalla Mordenheim <ksm3ba@sirius> stated: >>Hello again!! >Hello! Hi!! >>I'm back!!! Did you miss me? Did you know I was gone? >Who? Her. >When? Just now. >Where? Right over there. Bud > Why? Zer... >>Do you even know who I am? :-( >You're the cute girl from next door? I thought it was that Russ guy again. >>mircalla - who may gain a capital M from experience. >Good work, you only get capital M:s after level 19! Damn it... I still can't get those blue things to go the right way on lever 12... ::::::::Do Not Adjust Your Mom, This Is Jason Nafziger::::::::: :::There's A Little Piece of Everyone That No One Else Likes::: :::::::::http://metro.turnpike.net/C/crapco/index.html:::::::::
In article <Pine.SOL.3.91.960112194702.5074A-100000@sirius> Mircalla Mordenheim <ksm3ba@sirius> writes: > > Hello again!! > > I'm back!!! Did you miss me? Did you know I was gone? Actually, you beat me back. . . > > Do you even know who I am? :-( Aren't you the one who always says "dynomite!?" Have I made that joke before? > > mircalla - who may gain a capital M from experience. Whoah! I think that means you outrank Nafziger. flapjack-who hopes Bilko doesn't find out -- Flapjack's back, and he brought a Toaster Oven. "It ain't easy coming up with .sig quotes so obscure that they can't be seen in traditional spectrums of light"--Anonymous Something probably isn't working at: http://openweb.vassar.edu/students/nosmith/nosmith.html
Looky, looky, ldale@nmsu.edu (LILIA DALE) sez: >Woody Wood wrote: >: jmwilson@access5.digex.net (John Wilson) writes: >: > Ack! Should I touch^H^H^H^H^Hscratch myself? >: Don't scratch. Just blow your brains out. >: This way you don't have this problem anymore. >: No Flame for my insensitivity (did I spell this damn thing right?) >: I'm just trying to help. >Why not just try gynolotrimin? It's over the counter now. And doctors >recommend it more than any other leading vaginal cream. That should do the >trick for you. I tried it and it didn't work. My card was the Jack of Clubs. >: I think it is Woody Wood >As in pecker? No silly, Woody Woodman. >-lil >In New Mexico, where the rich eat vienna sausages. ... and the Vienna Sausages eat NEXT!!!! ::::::::Do Not Adjust Your Mom, This Is Jason Nafziger::::::::: :::There's A Little Piece of Everyone That No One Else Likes::: :::::::::http://metro.turnpike.net/C/crapco/index.html:::::::::
Hey folks, I'm back. I was at this butterfly wind flapping contest in China and when I came back, there was a full fledged blizzard raging through the Northeast. Who knew? flapjack-who hopes non-math majors will get that -- Flapjack's back, and he brought a Toaster Oven. "It ain't easy coming up with .sig quotes so obscure that they can't be seen in traditional spectrums of light"--Anonymous Something probably isn't working at: http://openweb.vassar.edu/students/nosmith/nosmith.html
On 17 Jan 1996 02:22:27 GMT, Flapjack <nosmith@vassar.edu> wrote: > Hey folks, I'm back. I was at this butterfly wind flapping contest in > China and when I came back, there was a full fledged blizzard raging > through the Northeast. Who knew? Well... we'll forgive you *this* time. Just don't let those dinosaurs escape! > flapjack-who hopes non-math majors will get that cagey -- who would be a math major if it was all like chaos -- new .sig coming Real Soon Now(tm)
Hey folks, I'm back. I was at this butterfly wind flapping contest in China and when I came back, there was a full fledged blizzard raging through the Northeast. Who knew? flapjack-who hopes non-math majors will get that -- Flapjack's back, and he brought a Toaster Oven. "It ain't easy coming up with .sig quotes so obscure that they can't be seen in traditional spectrums of light"--Anonymous Something probably isn't working at: http://openweb.vassar.edu/students/nosmith/nosmith.html
In article <4d6nre$38s@news.bu.edu> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: > Chester Karma (fts@cris.com) wrote: > > > : Here here! I was beginning to get PAD-On-The-Brain.... anyway, what'd y'all > : think of my humble little replacements? (Be brutal) > > You're a worthless piece of crud! Get out of here! > > I can't stand you!!!! Why are you still here!?!?!?!!?!?!! > > And I don't care what your damn secret message is. What about his secret plan to end the war? > > Ross--who liked the replacement play-a-days, but Chester said to be brutal, > and he always does what he's told. Hey Ross, give me a thousand dollars. flapjack-who figures it's worth a try -- Flapjack's back, and he brought a Toaster Oven. "It ain't easy coming up with .sig quotes so obscure that they can't be seen in traditional spectrums of light"--Anonymous Something probably isn't working at: http://openweb.vassar.edu/students/nosmith/nosmith.html
In article <4ddru1$k9q@merkurius.lu.se> dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) writes: > In some bacon article Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> stated: > >spatula@retina.com (tv's Spatch) declared: > > > >:I hereby declare the weekend of Jan 21st BOB VILA - SPATCH TOTAL > >:WICKED COINCIDENCE WEEKEND. With your hosts, Pauly Shore, Jenny McCarthy and Bob Newhart. (boy, that'd be something, wouldn't it?) > > > >:We must all get smashed on cheap shellac and power sanders! > > > >Sounds like a party! Sounds like a typical breakfast to me. > > Yes! I'll bring the crackers and vodka! > I'll bring the crutons and Diet Dr. Pepper. > >Countdown: > > > >Party at Spatch's in 9 days! > Party at Spatch's in 6 days! Antelope Freeway 16 miles flapjack-who had never done one of those before -- Flapjack's back, and he brought a Toaster Oven. "It ain't easy coming up with .sig quotes so obscure that they can't be seen in traditional spectrums of light"--Anonymous Something probably isn't working at: http://openweb.vassar.edu/students/nosmith/nosmith.html
"Michael S. Holmes" <msh104@psu.edu> wrote:
:"Michael S. Holmes" said:
:> I dare you to insult me.
:>
:> - M. Holmes
:Only an idiot would write a post asking people to insult them.
\|/
-POP- Hi!
/|\
:I didn't think this was possible, but you are *too* stupid for
:this newsgroup.
HUH?? I'm ten times stupider than Abe's cat? KOOL!!!1!1!!!
:Why don't you go to alt.sewing and sew your mouth shut so we
:don't have to hear you talk anymore.
Okay!
--Bill ("make it sew!")
--
Can YOU find the hidden message in this .sig? (There is one!)
"Againststupidity,thegodsthemselvescontendinvain."FriedrichvonSc
hillerToseewhy,checkoutthisplacewhichdoeshaveapoint:http://ourwo
rld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1(don'temailme!)
In article <30FAD386.24C7@stinky.winkie> Snot <snot@stinky.winkie> writes: > HULLO WORLD! > > UMMMmmmmm, I'm gonna go masterbate > > > BYYEE WORLD! Y'know, in a way, this could be seen as an extremely profound statement about human existance. flapjack-who recalls a Beckett play called "Breath" which, at thirty seconds holds the record for shortest play ever -- Flapjack's back, and he brought a Toaster Oven. "It ain't easy coming up with .sig quotes so obscure that they can't be seen in traditional spectrums of light"--Anonymous Something probably isn't working at: http://openweb.vassar.edu/students/nosmith/nosmith.html
In article <Pine.SOL.3.91.960112194702.5074A-100000@sirius>, Mircalla
Mordenheim <ksm3ba@sirius> wrote:
>Hello again!!
Hail! And well met!
>I'm back!!!
This fact is proved by your post. I will agree with you on this one.
>Did you miss me?
Yeah, otherwise you'd be covered in pie right now.
>Did you know I was gone?
That's terrible. You know, psychologists are pretty good at bringing people
back.
>Do you even know who I am? :-(
For some reason, I am reminded of "*MM", but I don't think that's quite right.
>mircalla - who may gain a capital M from experience.
Good luck, I can't find any M's in experience.. lotsa E's tho. Here.. let me
help:
M M M M M M M M M M M M M M M M M M M M M \ | /
M M M M M M M M M M M M M M M M M M M M M - SPLAT -
/ | \
Hmm.. yep, I missed ya again. :( -------------------^
I gotta work on my aim.
Chester = who always wondered how many posts astronauts read, since most
Distribution lines are "world"... and well, they're not there...
---
Can YOU find the hidden message in this .sig? (And there IS one now!)
AAOEWIUJHRLIDSKAVNALCDSWFXLNVCNIOIRMYJHGEORCFDNJGBIFDOADGASDOIFUADSFUADSOFIAD
FASDOIUFIAHDNOIFMSNHOREVINHAISKEFTOQTWEOAFSDLIBFNBMVCBASBDFAYDSIXUSZYFCIUWEFS
DAOSKICMCTNVNKFDSIOSOVEIGTJDFKGSDRNPQHWODLLKDUFNCXZLFVDSLIFWEOIRUJYTNVLDKFISD
There is a sentence with 12 words in it hidden. Mail me if you find it!
Chester Karma ... Fts@Cris.Com ... http://www.cris.com/~fts
Mircalla Mordenheim (ksm3ba@sirius) wrote: : Hello again!! See that always makes me think of that annoying Neil Diamond song (as opposed to every other annoying Neil Diamond song), and it gets in my head and it annoys me, that annoying Neil Diamond song, it does. : I'm back!!! Did you miss me? Did you know I was gone? You're back?!? Cool. I missed you, but I didn't know you were gone. : Do you even know who I am? :-( Why of course I know. You're the Minister of the Interior. : mircalla - who may gain a capital M from experience. When you kill the dwarf he'll drop his capital M, but pick it up quick before the vulture swoops down and takes it. Ross--who's random
jnafZ@ixnetcom.com (Jason Nafziger) wrote:
:>ldale@nmsu.edu (LILIA DALE) wrote:
[snip]
:>-lil
:>In New Mexico, where the rich eat vienna sausages.
:... and the Vienna Sausages eat NEXT!!!!
HUH?? The Vienna Sausages? Who are they? Never heard of
them. Or are you itching to leave the Bacon Sandwiches and
form your own group!?
--Bill (who really doesn't know but wonders if spatch knows
about this)
--
"Against stupidity, the gods themselves contend in vain."
Friedrich von Schiller
To see why, check out this place which does have a point:
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Anti JN (dat92jni@ludat.lth.se) wrote: : In some bacon article vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) stated: : >In article <4ddshv$kqs@merkurius.lu.se> dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) writes: : >>In some bacon article Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> stated: : >>>JEEZE!!! : >>>It's three o'clock in the morning! : >>No it's not! : >>It's 16:39! : >No it's not! : >It's 4 in the morning, the end of December, and it's Thursday! : No wait! It's 6:36 in the morning of the 7 November! Have a nice weekend! It's 1696! That means it's before Martin Rimm, Gulf War nostalgia, and the new Monkees! HasNoName -------------Carl M Stone----http://nimitz.mcs.kent.edu/~cstone-------------- Man and alien / in so funny harmony! / Nielsen said no... -- Jeff Swanson, winner of the Bill Bixby Memorial Haiku Contest ------KENT STATE parks it and locks it, NOT RESPONSIBLE for what I say-------
In article <DLA4Mq.55z@da_vinci.ecte.uswc.uswest.com> wxwilki@lookout (Bill Wilkinson) writes: >Where'd this news group come from? >--Bill >-- >From where no newsfroup has come from before. *MM -- who 7 seconds the original question.
In article <4diar3$l3h@news.lth.se> dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) writes: >In some bacon article vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) stated: >>In article <4ddshv$kqs@merkurius.lu.se> dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) writes: >>>In some bacon article Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> stated: >> >>>>JEEZE!!! >>>>It's three o'clock in the morning! >> >>>No it's not! >>>It's 16:39! >> >>No it's not! >>It's 4 in the morning, the end of December, and it's Thursday! >No wait! It's 6:36 in the morning of the 7 November! Have a nice weekend! >>*MM /lc >/^JN - The Anti JN - /eieio >-- >######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## ># The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # ># Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # >############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################ But have you ever loved a woman named November? *MM
In article <30FCAF3D.7309@sea.ar.ispnet.com> "Thomas J. Wright" <mother@sea.ar.ispnet.com> writes: >> is a she, but the vet can't quite tell, due to the fact that spreading >> her legs is impossible with her broken hip). She was initally quite >> anemic, but now clamors to exit the cage every time we replace her food >> dish. By the vet's estimation, she is 6 months to 1 year old, and has >> displayed an amazingly sweet disposition, despite her predicament. >How does she exit the cage with a hip so damaged that you cannot tell her >sex? Mulqvists's nominee for Followup o'the Week *MM -- who wonders who this poor girl with a broken hip is.
In article <4dh2cd$9or@merkurius.lu.se> dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) writes: >In some bacon article lod2@midway.uchicago.edu stated: >>In article <4d7jlk$e44@news.lth.se>, Anti JN <dat92jni@ludat.lth.se> wrote: >>>In some bacon article lod2@midway.uchicago.edu stated: >>>>Remember, the bit of fluff is important. You need the bit of fluff. >>>>DON"T DROP IT!! >>> >>>You need to put it on the fire in the old cabin. >>>All fluff must burn!!! >> >>Yah, alright, go ahead. But you're the one who'll suffer the consequences. >>You'll be stuck forever at the Cocktail Party of Doom. >Sounds good, booze and the opportunity to blow up monsters. >/^JN - The Anti JN - Of course, I'll cheat. >-- You mean you only shoot them once or twice so that they drop to their knees, but... oops, sorry, I'm ROTTen. *MM
In article <8B8F394.0190000725.uuout@bhabbs.com> mike.brady@bhabbs.com (MIKE BRADY) writes: > ====----------------- Tue 01-16-1996 ------------------- > +-----------+ > | **Brady** | > +-----------+ >--- > * SLMR 2.1 * ------------- That's just fine! Keep us informed. *MM
This worries me. Who gave birth to it? Is it an accident from .44's party last spring? Does anybody want to take responsibility for it, or should we let it run feral? --Bill -- Can YOU find the hidden message in this .sig? (There is one!) "Againststupidity,thegodsthemselvescontendinvain."FriedrichvonSc hillerToseewhy,checkoutthisplacewhichdoeshaveapoint:http://ourwo rld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1(don'temailme!)
Bow down, worship, burp, repeat as necessary.
In article <4dkkcs$2i3$1@mhadf.production.compuserve.com>, Bill Wilkinson
<70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> wrote:
>--
>Can YOU find the hidden message in this .sig? (There is one!)
>"Againststupidity,thegodsthemselvescontendinvain."FriedrichvonSc
>hillerToseewhy,checkoutthisplacewhichdoeshaveapoint:http://ourwo
>rld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1(don'temailme!)
Hmm.. that looks familiar... can't place the reference tho. ;)
Chester - who almost passed right by that, but saw it out of the corner of his
eye... then literally fell out of his chair laughing.
---
Can YOU find the hidden message in this .sig? (And there IS one now!)
AAOEWIUJHRLIDSKAVNALCDSWFXLNVCNIOIRMYJHGEORCFDNJGBIFDOADGASDOIFUADSFUADSOFIAD
FASDOIUFIAHDNOIFMSNHOREVINHAISKEFTOQTWEOAFSDLIBFNBMVCBASBDFAYDSIXUSZYFCIUWEFS
DAOSKICMCTNVNKFDSIOSOVEIGTJDFKGSDRNPQHWODLLKDUFNCXZLFVDSLIFWEOIRUJYTNVLDKFISD
There is a sentence with 12 words in it hidden. Mail me if you find it!
Chester Karma ... Fts@Cris.Com ... http://www.cris.com/~fts
I hate this snow! ---Steve (Brrrrr!)
<In article <termite-1501961912040001@dffl6-22.gate.net> termite@gate.net (Termite) writes: < In article <4dck0u$7gk@guitar.sound.net>, Johnnie Galt < <jgalt@dagny.atlas.net> wrote: meow meow meow meow meow meow < this has to be the fucking stoopidest thread I ever read in my life. meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow < Anybody disagree? meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow < Johnnie meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow < SHUT THE HELL UP, GEEK ! meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow
wednsday@tezcat.com (Bev) writ: >In article <4d5rmi$vbe@bigblue.oit.unc.edu>, >Michael Straight <straight@email.unc.edu> wrote: >>scurvy. >I think that's just about the coolest word. I thought wainscoting was the coolest word. -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and the fifth Banana Split "Frank, this is science, not Romper Room." - Dr. Clayton Forrester "And he dug up her grave and built a cage with her bones." - W. "Growl" Zevon PAT BOONE MUST DIE. http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
Looky, looky, Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> sez: >This worries me. >Who gave birth to it? >Is it an accident from .44's party last spring? >Does anybody want to take responsibility for it, or should >we let it run feral? I just wish I could find it. Netcom is supposed to newgroup everything... Does anyone besides Bill get it? Hmmmm... that question could apply to any of Bill's posts really... ::::::::Do Not Adjust Your Mom, This Is Jason Nafziger::::::::: :::There's A Little Piece of Everyone That No One Else Likes::: :::::::::http://metro.turnpike.net/C/crapco/index.html:::::::::
Looky, looky, eelhartc@cosmos.ab.ca (Clare) sez:
> hello from {~._.~}
> ()~*~()
> (_)-(_) clare bear!!
Ooh!!! Me!!! I've never done one these before...
_____
()~*~()
(_)-(_)
How's that?
::::::::Do Not Adjust Your Mom, This Is Jason Nafziger:::::::::
:::There's A Little Piece of Everyone That No One Else Likes:::
:::::::::http://metro.turnpike.net/C/crapco/index.html:::::::::
In article <1996Jan18.182540.21168@ucl.ac.uk> Alex Smith <zcapnd0@ucl.ac.uk> writes: > What do wasps do??? they buzz around all day eating litter >and stinging people. I mean they don't have a purpose. Bees for example >make honey, flies are eaten by spiders, but wasps they just fuck me >off!!!!! Well, you kind of answered your own question there. *MM
In article <DLD5DH.96q@news.zippo.com> spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) writes: >dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) writ: >>In some bacon article Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> stated: >>>spatula@retina.com (tv's Spatch) declared: >>> >>>:I hereby declare the weekend of Jan 21st BOB VILA - SPATCH TOTAL >>>:WICKED COINCIDENCE WEEKEND. >>> >>>:We must all get smashed on cheap shellac and power sanders! >>> >>>Sounds like a party! >>Yes! I'll bring the crackers and vodka! >>>Countdown: >>> >>>Party at Spatch's in 9 days! >>Party at Spatch's in 6 days! >Antelope Freeway, 4 days ... er, miles... >-- Party at Spatch's pretty soon! Yep! The learcopter just arrived outside my window. See you tonite! *MM
Jason Nafziger (jnafz@ix.netcom.com) wrote: : Looky, looky, several species of small furry animals gathered together : in a cave grooving with the pict <zen@hal.com> sez: : >What happened to those old family favorites like 'farting Bob Villa', and : >'directions to my house'.. huh? : You may be thinking of my page, where I had to get rid of my archives : because, well, I just couldn't keep up anymore. : >.and another thnig, I didn't see anything about Ross (he's a big frog) on : >the stupid FAQ.. whaddabout Ross? : Yeah, Spatch, whaddabout him? Don't you think it's about time for a : <gasp> NEW VERSION OF THE FAQ??? Yea! And put something in it about those one guys too. Cause it's exactally the same (only different) as the other thread where Bill has a different sig about the same thing and it confuses some newsreaders such as myself. So if you do update the FAQ you should clear this up. In other words so to speak, it wouldn't probably hurt a great deal if you had something in there about those one guys over there at harvard who have that band that Bill thought was you. Maybe a link to their sick email web page to answer questions that are not answered by the FAQ? ---Steve (It's just an idea)
papa legba (keithg@boi.hp.com) wrote: : Anyone know when they're due to make an appearance? One : of them owes me money, and I haven't seen the bastard : in years. How many years? ---Steve (Waiting with calculator in hand)
In article <30FFFF0B.568C@dbo.mts.dec.com> Vamp <Adam.Jewell@dbo.mts.dec.com> writes: > cvw sporked: > v> > v> In article <4dajtl$bc5@news.hal.com>, zen@hal.COM (Sean Channel) wrote: > v> > v> > John Wilson (jmwilson@access5.digex.net) wrote: > v> > : Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: > v> > : : CLANGGG!!! > v> > : SHABAAM!!! > v> > KEEERUUNNNCH!!! > v> SPORK!!!!!! > KAAA....(wait for it)......BOOOOOOOOM!!!!!! Kerrrrrrrrr. . . fft. . .whoops, a dud flapjack-who'll have to check his munitions more closely next time -- Flapjack's back, and he brought a Toaster Oven. "It ain't easy coming up with .sig quotes so obscure that they can't be seen in traditional spectrums of light"--Anonymous Something probably isn't working at: http://openweb.vassar.edu/students/nosmith/nosmith.html
jnafz@ix.netcom.com(whatever) {Jason Nafziger) pointed out:
:Looky, looky, Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> sez:
:>This worries me.
>:Who gave birth to it?
:>Is it an accident from .44's party last spring?
:>Does anybody want to take responsibility for it, or should
:>we let it run feral?
:I just wish I could find it. Netcom is supposed to newgroup
:everything...
:Does anyone besides Bill get it?...Hmmmm...that question could
:apply to any of Bill's posts really...
[ ]?
--Bill thinks he's flattered but likes that vampire post
and something-or-other about Tarzan. Go figure.
--
Can YOU find the hidden message in this .sig? (There is one!)
"Againststupidity,thegodsthemselvescontendinvain."FriedrichvonSc
hillerToseewhy,checkoutthisplacewhichdoeshaveapoint:http://ourwo
rld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1(don'temailmespammers!)
fts@cris.com (Chester Karma) wrote: :In article <DLD5p7.9q0@news.zippo.com>, spatula@retina.net :(tv's Spatch) wrote: :>Oh, my. :>Anyone else find this yet? :I remember bringing the subject up in alt.config a LOOONG time :ago, and it wasn't shot down, then you chastized me because now :it's a LEGALnewgroup....but no, I haven't seen it. (But I'll :LOOK for it) My clone in Denver found it when tin asked him if he wanted to subscribe to it. Almost missed it because it was buried among all the alt.sex and alt.binaries.sex newgroups. The Omaha clone's server doesn't carry it. CI$ let me subscribe to it by name, but won't let you grep for it. Maybe alt.stupidity.spatch (a.s.s. ?) is on their "200" list, or whatever. Outside of a few crossposts, I've only seen me, Brett, and a couple of flamers on there. There's no description (like "Discussion of stupid newsgroups"). --Bill -- Can YOU find the hidden message in this .sig? (There is one!) "Againststupidity,thegodsthemselvescontendinvain."FriedrichvonSc hillerToseewhy,checkoutthisplacewhichdoeshaveapoint:http://ourwo rld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1(don'temailmespammers!)
Mircalla Mordenheim <ksm3ba@sirius> materialized: :Hello again!! \|/ -POP- Hi! /|\ :I'm back!!! Did you miss me? Did you know I was gone? Yep. Time for me to put up a fresh batch of garlic. :-) :Do you even know who I am? :-( Don't be sad. :mircalla - who may gain a capital M from experience. Don't worry. *MM's axe is made out of cold steel. Then again, one of Jesper's swords are made out of wood. So you better well walk softly stranger! --Bill (don't sock me ross--tommy smothers said that!) -- Can YOU find the hidden message in this .sig? (There is one!) "Againststupidity,thegodsthemselvescontendinvain."FriedrichvonSc hillerToseewhy,checkoutthisplacewhichdoeshaveapoint:http://ourwo rld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1(don'temailmespammers!)
Looky, looky, limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) sez: >Anti JN (dat92jni@ludat.lth.se) wrote: >: In some bacon article vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) stated: >: >In article <4ddshv$kqs@merkurius.lu.se> dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) writes: >: >>In some bacon article Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> stated: >: > >: >>>JEEZE!!! >: >>>It's three o'clock in the morning! >: > >: >>No it's not! >: >>It's 16:39! >: > >: >No it's not! >: >It's 4 in the morning, the end of December, and it's Thursday! >: No wait! It's 6:36 in the morning of the 7 November! Have a nice weekend! >: >*MM /lc >: /^JN - The Anti JN - /eieio >Sorry guys, but you're all wrong. >It's Jason Nazfiger's birthday, and they're making him work. No, it's MY party, and I'll cry if I want to... >Ross--who wishes it were, because then he wouldn't have to sock. ::::::::Do Not Adjust Your Mom, This Is Jason Nafziger::::::::: :::There's A Little Piece of Everyone That No One Else Likes::: :::::::::http://metro.turnpike.net/C/crapco/index.html:::::::::
In some bacon article vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) stated: >In article <DLD5DH.96q@news.zippo.com> spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) writes: >>dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) writ: >>>In some bacon article Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> stated: >>>>spatula@retina.com (tv's Spatch) declared: >>>>:I hereby declare the weekend of Jan 21st BOB VILA - SPATCH TOTAL >>>>:WICKED COINCIDENCE WEEKEND. >>>>:We must all get smashed on cheap shellac and power sanders! >>>>Sounds like a party! >>>Yes! I'll bring the crackers and vodka! >>>>Countdown: >>>> >>>>Party at Spatch's in 9 days! >>>Party at Spatch's in 6 days! >>Antelope Freeway, 4 days ... er, miles... >Party at Spatch's pretty soon! Antelope party at Spatch's in ... no wait, today! >Yep! The learcopter just arrived outside my window. >See you tonite! Sorry, but Tonite said she couldn't come. Morning said she would come though. >*MM /^JN - The Anti JN - Already a little bit tipsy. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
Thermal underwear! _______________ Suzanne Schroeder Yes, I've returned. You want to make something of it?
In article <4dm2qk$5cc@freenet.vcu.edu> cabbage, pford@cabell.vcu.edu writes: >Bow down, worship, burp, repeat as necessary. Wow. The catholic church has lightened up! Maybe I'll consider going to mass again. ___________________ Suzanne Schroeder
Mr. Play-A-Day (wayne26@epix.net) wrote: : The Official Play-A-Day List : I've almost been doing this for a year, and as of 1/14/96, there are : 147 of these PADs sitting on my computer. The entire list: Not exactly a play a DAY, is it? Ross--who figures that it's a play every 2.48 days, but I guess that doesn't really work metrically.
Anti JN (dat92jni@ludat.lth.se) wrote: : In some bacon article vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) stated: : >In article <4ddshv$kqs@merkurius.lu.se> dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) writes: : >>In some bacon article Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> stated: : > : >>>JEEZE!!! : >>>It's three o'clock in the morning! : > : >>No it's not! : >>It's 16:39! : > : >No it's not! : >It's 4 in the morning, the end of December, and it's Thursday! : No wait! It's 6:36 in the morning of the 7 November! Have a nice weekend! : >*MM /lc : /^JN - The Anti JN - /eieio Sorry guys, but you're all wrong. It's Jason Nazfiger's birthday, and they're making him work. Ross--who wishes it were, because then he wouldn't have to work.
Jason Nafziger (jnafz@ix.netcom.com) wrote: : Looky, looky, limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) sez: : >Anti JN (dat92jni@ludat.lth.se) wrote: : >: In some bacon article vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) stated: : >: >In article <4ddshv$kqs@merkurius.lu.se> dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) writes: : >: >>In some bacon article Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> stated: : >: > : >: >>>JEEZE!!! : >: >>>It's three o'clock in the morning! : >: > : >: >>No it's not! : >: >>It's 16:39! : >: > : >: >No it's not! : >: >It's 4 in the morning, the end of December, and it's Thursday! : >: No wait! It's 6:36 in the morning of the 7 November! Have a nice weekend! : >: >*MM /lc : >: /^JN - The Anti JN - /eieio : >Sorry guys, but you're all wrong. : >It's Jason Nazfiger's birthday, and they're making him work. : No, it's MY party, and I'll cry if I want to... Cry if you want to? Ross--who's looking to finish up the chorus.
DVader@deathstar.com (Darth Vader) wrote: :In article <19960117.114115.495576.NETNEWS@WVNVM.WVNET.EDU>, :sgreatho@access.k12.wv.us says... :> :>I rule this news :>group!!!hahahhahhahhahhahhahhahhhhahhahhahhahhahhahhahhhhahahha :>hhahahhahhahhahhahahhahhahhahahhahhahhahahhahhahh!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :>!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :>!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :Oh no you don't!!!!! :HEhehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe :hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe!!!!!!!!111!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111!1 :111!!!!!!!!!!!111111!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111! Oh no him doesn't!!!!!! HOhoHOhoHOhoHOhoHOhoHOhoHOhoHOhoHOhoHOhoHOhoHOhoHOhoHOhoHOhoHOhoH OhoHOhoHOhoHOhoHOhoHOhoHOhoHOhoHOhoHOhoHOhoHOhoHOhoHOhoHOhoHOhoHO hoHOhoHOhoHOhoHOhoHOhoHOhoH!!!!11!!!!!!KOOl!111!!!!!!!11!!! --Bill (Hohoho...cough...hack...) -- Can YOU find the hidden message in this .sig? (There is one!) "Againststupidity,thegodsthemselvescontendinvain."FriedrichvonSc hillerToseewhy,checkoutthisplacewhichdoeshaveapoint:http://ourwo rld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1(don'temailmespammers!)
<In article <4dpjck$4dd$1@mhadg.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: <Outside of a few crossposts, I've only seen <me, Brett, and a couple of flamers on there. Dat is because I can't post there, since EZ don't carry the froup. But mebbe I can crosspost there....lemme hold my mouth right....ok, now what does THIS do I wond NO CARRIER
Chester Karma (fts.cris.com) :>So it was you, not YAZ (oops, I mean -E) that started it? :No, I didn't newgroup it... there was a thread in alt.stupidity :about four months ago .. I think someone suggested :alt.stupidity.longest.thread.ever ... :I followed-up to it suggesting alt.stupidity.spatch and added :alt.config to the newsgroups line... a week later, Spatch :mailed me saying that because it was posted to alt.config and :went a week without any retorts, it could be legally newgrouped. Well, it sounds like to me that you're now responsible for maintaining the froup and writing a FAQ. Har! --Bill (who has waited a long time for the right time to say "har.") -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Woody Wood (oldschool@earthlink.net) wrote:
: What gives with this spatch crap? If your not mistaken there is
: a binary group with a spatch in the name. I hate the thing. I guess cause
: I don't know what it means. I know what a spatula is.
: Did I tell you about my colon? Sorry, thought I was in the retirement home
: already and we were talking shop. In concluding, cut the spatch crap out.
: Sir Woody Wood.
Spatch, this one's for you.
SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK!
SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK!
SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK!
SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK!
SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK!
SOCK!SOCK!SOCK!SOCK!SOCK!SOCK!SOCK!SOCK!SOCK!SOCK!SOCK!SOCK!SOCK!SOCK!SOCK!
SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK!
SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK!
SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK!
SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK!
SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK!
SOCK!SOCK!SOCK!SOCK!SOCK!SOCK!SOCK!SOCK!SOCK!SOCK!SOCK!SOCK!SOCK!SOCK!SOCK!
Ross--who doesn't care if it was a joke, he hasn't had a good old fashioned
socking session for a while.
Magnus Mulqvist (vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi) wrote: : In article <DLD5DH.96q@news.zippo.com> spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) writes: : >dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) writ: : >>In some bacon article Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> stated: : >>>spatula@retina.com (tv's Spatch) declared: : >>> : >>>:I hereby declare the weekend of Jan 21st BOB VILA - SPATCH TOTAL : >>>:WICKED COINCIDENCE WEEKEND. : >>> : >>>:We must all get smashed on cheap shellac and power sanders! : >>> : >>>Sounds like a party! : >>Yes! I'll bring the crackers and vodka! : >>>Countdown: : >>> : >>>Party at Spatch's in 9 days! : >>Party at Spatch's in 6 days! : >Antelope Freeway, 4 days ... er, miles... : >-- : Party at Spatch's pretty soon! : Yep! The learcopter just arrived outside my window. : See you tonite! Wait a mintue, I lost my directions, and I have to get out now, my car doesn't go fast enough to let me get there within a day. Oh, no! I'm going to miss it all. And I got to Tortess's funeral after there was only blue cheese left and no crackers. And I HATE blue cheese. Oh no, don't tell me I'm going to miss the great Spatchvilla blow out, too. Ross--who can't find his keys, either.
nosy@ataylor@nmsu@Nosy.ataylor@nmsu.n&improved.nmsu(nosy) worte: :<In article <DLByC6.4oJ@midway.uchicago.edu> :lod2@quads.uchicago.edu (john patrick lodder) writes: :< Jazzy politics? Geoger Clinton for president? : Hey, back in 1993 I was sure disappointed when we didn't : have a Parliament Funkadelic White House. Funkadelic Funkadelic Funkadelic Funkadelic Funkadelic Oh. Waitaminute! I wuz thinkn' of those R. Crumb comix! Sockadelic Sockadelic Sockadelic --Bill (ROCK-afeller, ROCK-afeller, FNORD! FNORD!) -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
I bugs me that half this bag of O'Boisies tater chimps are crumbles. Years ago, I walked into a store and saw this guy stacking bags of chips onto the shelf. He'd push really hard to get all of them to fit. I thought, "There's the guy they pay to crush the chips." He looked at me as if he'd read my mind and said "...and bacon." I fled. --Bill -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
In some bacon article sdc@teleport.com () stated:
>My cat (fig. 1) is almost out of lives.
Damn you Steve!!!
>(Meeyoww)
> \ , ,
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> (il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
Okay, if thats the way you want it...
(Meeyoww)
\
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(meeyoww)
\
_____________________
\|/
=-POP-=
/|\
_____________________
.:.
-pOp-
':`
_____________________
.:.
.:o:.
:::
: _____________________
.
:::
.:o:.
.:. _____________________
.:.
:::
.:::. _____________________
.
.:.
.:::. _____________________
.
.:::. _____________________
>---Steve
/^JN - The Anti JN - Mighty morphin' power cats.
--
######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ########
# The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc #
# Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se #
############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In article <4dsat0$4na$1@mhade.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: >nosy@ataylor@nmsu@Nosy.ataylor@nmsu.n&improved.nmsu(nosy) worte: >:<In article <DLByC6.4oJ@midway.uchicago.edu> >:lod2@quads.uchicago.edu (john patrick lodder) writes: >:< Jazzy politics? Geoger Clinton for president? >: Hey, back in 1993 I was sure disappointed when we didn't >: have a Parliament Funkadelic White House. >Funkadelic >Funkadelic >Funkadelic >Funkadelic >Funkadelic >Oh. Waitaminute! I wuz thinkn' of those R. Crumb comix! >Sockadelic >Sockadelic >Sockadelic >--Bill (ROCK-afeller, ROCK-afeller, FNORD! FNORD!) >-- Rock'n'roll'n'blues'n'jazz, kiss my ass! Kiss my ass! *MM /jl ...uh... Gronk?
In article <ATAYLOR.96Jan18185958@gauss.nmsu.edu> ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writes:
><In article <30fc72c9.6309374@news.cris.com> fts@cris.com (Chester Karma)
>writes:
>< In article <4d6nv9$38s@news.bu.edu>, limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) wrote:
>< >: .and another thnig, I didn't see anything about Ross (he's a big frog) on
> ^^^^^^^^
^^^^^
>< No no... he's a Big Frog... not a big frog (yes, there IS a difference)
> Right! And he's NOT a Big Green Frog, either.
Yse! I thnik we all rerembem taht one!
*MM
In article <957.6593T851T298@mailbox.swipnet.se> stefan.johannesdal@mailbox.swipnet.se (Stefan Johannesdal) writes: >Vamp wrote about Re: BOINK! here in alt.stupidity... >> v> > : : CLANGGG!!! >> v> > : SHABAAM!!! >> v> > KEEERUUNNNCH!!! >> v> SPORK!!!!!! >> KAAA....(wait for it)......BOOOOOOOOM!!!!!! > oooooo > ooo ooo > OOO oo oo OOO > O O > OOO ooo ooo OOO > ooo ooo > O O > O O > O O > O O > oO Oo > O O O O > Oo ....... oO > ^^^^^ > O O > oooO o Oooo > oooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooo >Mvh - Stefan - What's Barney's private part doing in this thread? *MM
flapjack@nosmith.vasser (edu) worte: :flapjack-who could Charleston with the best of 'em before his :limbago kicked in Ross KICKED you???? :-- :Flapjack's back, ... Somehow, that makes sense. :...and he brought a Toaster Oven. Okay. First Nosy, now you. What's this bit about the toaster? Never mind. I'm feeling kinda stretched. ----------Biiiiiiiiiiiillllllllllllll -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Mircalla Mordenheim <ksm3ba@sirius> writ: >On Wed, 10 Jan 1996, Magnus Mulqvist wrote: >> In article <30f30b45.97850260@ixnews4.ix.netcom.com> mikroa@ix.netcom.com >> (Michael Roach) writes: >> >Thanks to all for the enjoyment and diversion I've received in this froup, >> >and I hope I've been able to make some of you laugh from time to time. I am >> >leaving my current job in California in a couple of weeks and moving to >> >Jacksonville, FL. I've found that I can't pack and post at the same time >> >and am curtailing my usenet activities until I settle in. >> >See you in a few weeks! >> >-- >> Who are you? >> *MM >His name is Michael Roach and he is funky... His name is Michael Roach. You killed his father. Prepare to die. -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and the fourth Chilly-Down "CALLING ALL GOPHERS: Come on along and listen to the Lullabye of Broadway. Then you can go home. " - Roz Chast Please to check out: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
ted_boudreaux@hp-pcd.hp.com (Ted Boudreaux) writ: >In article <4d20v6$4r8$1@mhadg.production.compuserve.com>, >70325.1137@CompuServe.COM says... >> >>When we were little, all of us used to have a konky. >> >>When we got older, they went away. >> >>What gives???? >> >>--Bill >> >>-- >>http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1 >You had a konky? We couldn't afford such luxuries when I was that age. No, >we all had to make do with homemade squilgees. But I guess a rich bastard >like yourself wouldn't want to hear about such things. Wait a minute, Konky was the robot on Pee-Wee's Playhouse. You didn't have a Konky, i didn't have a Konky, only Pee-Wee had a Konky and all he ever used Konky for was to get the day's Secret Word. Today's secret word is "Entrapment"! -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and the fourth Chilly-Down "CALLING ALL GOPHERS: Come on along and listen to the Lullabye of Broadway. Then you can go home. " - Roz Chast Please to check out: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
jnafz@ix.netcom.com (Jason Nafziger) writ: >Yeah, Spatch, whaddabout him? Don't you think it's about time for a ><gasp> NEW VERSION OF THE FAQ??? </gasp> Sheesh, Nafziger, you really coulda pissed off some Netscape-using readers with an open gasp tag like that. In case anyone is wondering, the changes I'm making to the FAQ are thus: 1: adding some section about Threads From Hell 2: taking out the whole "Who's Who" section and putting it in its own file, accessible probably only through a web page (yes, this includes making the FAQKeeper's alt.stupidity page) 3: more rock, less talk 4: putting the damn thing in HTML format once I'm done 5: posting it tri-weekly like it says for me to do 6: drinking more sam adams honey porter, damn, this stuff is tasty 7: adding a bob vila bio to the FAQ 8: anything else? and i'm still doing stupid web things and lagging on IRC for no apparent reason. fear me. - spatch, who'd be up for a boston trip sometime soon, anyone wanna visit the sammy brewpub? - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and the fourth Chilly-Down "CALLING ALL GOPHERS: Come on along and listen to the Lullabye of Broadway. Then you can go home. " - Roz Chast Please to check out: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
John Nicholson <jrnic@u.washington.edu> writ: >Why do you think the grown-ups on Charlie Brown cartoons just make that >"waa waa waa" whining noise when they talk? Sure, a younger generation >has a jargon all its own, but that's going a little too far. See, I had >this dream that all the adults around me talked like that, and then I >realized that I'm an adult too. Suddenly, I found myself able to >comprehend the "waa waa waa" language, as well as produce it and form >complex sentences. Eventually I became a poet, writing all my pieces in >this tounge. Here is one of my masterpieces: >Waa Waa Waaaaaaa Wa Wa-Wa >Waa wa waaa wa wa w-waa wa wa wa >waaaa wa wa waaaaaaaaa waaaaaaaa >waa waaa waa waaaaaaaaaaaa! >Wa wa. Wa wa, wa wa wa waaa. ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE'BIE'BIE >Waaaaa waa wa a wa? >Wa. Wa wa wa waaaa. ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE'BIE'BIE -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and the fourth Chilly-Down "CALLING ALL GOPHERS: Come on along and listen to the Lullabye of Broadway. Then you can go home. " - Roz Chast Please to check out: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
ab608@freenet.hamilton.on.ca (Neil Fowler) writ: >Mircalla Mordenheim (ksm3ba@sirius) wrote: >: Did you miss me? NO! >: Did you know I was gone? NO! >: Do you even know who I am? :-( NO!!, and the only one who cares is the >bears >WHAT PART OF no DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND!! *ZOTS neil with a mighty stoopid thunderbolt* foolish hoo-man. Of course we missed you, Mircalla, and your barbershop .sig as well. Welcome back! - spatch, who was away after getting a tooth pulled, but did anyone notice? of course not. and now you get to gaze at my blood-clotted tooth hole - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and the fourth Chilly-Down "CALLING ALL GOPHERS: Come on along and listen to the Lullabye of Broadway. Then you can go home. " - Roz Chast Please to check out: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
1. I was reminded about an hour ago that I have 6 hours worth of classes today that I forgot about. 2. I need to sleep, I haven't been to bed yet from last night. I wanted to use this afternoon for that. 3. Someone broke someone else's best glass in our house and 'that' someone else decided to use me as a scratching post. 4. 'That' someone changed all the default settings on 'that' someone else's windows on his P5-100. I personally thought it was funny getting screams when you shut a window. He didn't. I got used as a scratching post. Thing is, if I'd gone to bed like any normal person it wouldn't have happened. 5. Win 95 sucks. All in all a 100% productive day. Yip yip. Fleeblegronf. Mircalla. __^__ __^__ ( ___ )-----------------------------------------------------------------( ___ ) | / | ,__ __ o _ _ Email: | \ | | / | /| | | ,_ __ __, | || | __, mircalla@cyberspace.org | \ | | / | | | | | / | / / | |/ |/ / | or.. | \ | |___| | | |_/|_/ |_/\___/\_/|_/|_/|_/\_/|/ ksm3ba@herts.ac.uk |___| (_____)-----------------------------------------------------------------(_____)
--- Eek! I've succumbed to pressure and made an easy-to-find message.. REAL EASY BARQNLFCNGPUJNFJNYXVATQBJAGURFGERRGNAQURFNJNANPPVQRAGVAIBYIVATNOVXRNAQNPNE GUROVXRJNFCERGGLFZNFURQHCHAQREARNGUGURPNENAQGURNZOHYNAPRUNQWHFGFCRQGBJNEQF GURUBFCVGNYABJFCNGPUORVATGURRIREGUEVSGLNAQSEHTNYCREFBAFGNEGRQWHZCVATNEBHAQ FPERNZVATVTBGQVOFBAGUROVXRVTBGQVOFBAGUROVXRABOBQLRYFRJNAGRQVGFBFCNGPUTBGVG *sniff*... what a touching message... post to alt.stupidity when ya find it. (Shouldn't take more than a couple minutes) -- Chester Karma -- fts@cris.com How many words is it? If its only 2 words is it 'REAL EASY' ? Mircalla - who is so bored she's looking at the everyway she can think of but getting no-where. __^__ __^__ ( ___ )-----------------------------------------------------------------( ___ ) | / | ,__ __ o _ _ Email: | \ | | / | /| | | ,_ __ __, | || | __, mircalla@cyberspace.org | \ | | / | | | | | / | / / | |/ |/ / | or.. | \ | |___| | | |_/|_/ |_/\___/\_/|_/|_/|_/\_/|/ ksm3ba@herts.ac.uk |___| (_____)-----------------------------------------------------------------(_____)
Hey hey, its real. and I'm in it. Altdotstupiditydotspatch. Am I the only one that posts from here? Mircalla - ah'ma just lurkin'. __^__ __^__ ( ___ )-----------------------------------------------------------------( ___ ) | / | ,__ __ o _ _ Email: | \ | | / | /| | | ,_ __ __, | || | __, mircalla@cyberspace.org | \ | | / | | | | | / | / / | |/ |/ / | or.. | \ | |___| | | |_/|_/ |_/\___/\_/|_/|_/|_/\_/|/ ksm3ba@herts.ac.uk |___| (_____)-----------------------------------------------------------------(_____)
In article <4dr8at$ahi@ixnews8.ix.netcom.com> jnafz@ix.netcom.com (Jason Nafziger) writes:
>Looky, looky, eelhartc@cosmos.ab.ca (Clare) sez:
>> hello from {~._.~}
>> ()~*~()
>> (_)-(_) clare bear!!
>Ooh!!! Me!!! I've never done one these before...
> _____
> ()~*~()
> (_)-(_)
>How's that?
Not bad... no, not bad. Say, is that a pizza platter you used?
*MM -- who is always keen on new methodologies.
Subject: Re: stupid new site
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII
In article <4dvpnj$4qu@merkurius.lu.se>, <dat92jni@ludat.lth.se> writes:
> Relay-Version: ANU News - V6.1 08/24/93 VAX/VMS V6.1; site wvnvms
> Path: wvnvm!wvnvms!news.cais.net!primus.ac.net!news.internetMCI.com!
>
newsfeed.internetmci.com!chi-news.cic.net!nntp.coast.net!news00.sunet.se!sunic!
news99.sunet.se!news.lth.se!merkurius.lu.se!dat92jni
> Newsgroups: alt.stupidity
> Subject: Re: stupid new site
> Message-ID: <4dvpnj$4qu@merkurius.lu.se>
> From: dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN)
> Date: 22 Jan 1996 10:42:59 GMT
> References:
<Pine.A32.3.91j.960120231001.117218G-100000@homer04.u.washington.edu>
<4du90j$rne@maureen.teleport.com>
> Organization: The strangest pl
> NNTP-Posting-Host: bach-10.ludat.lth.se
> Lines: 170
>
> In some bacon article sdc@teleport.com () stated:
> >My cat (fig. 1) is almost out of lives.
>
> Damn you Steve!!!
>
> >(Meeyoww)
> > \ , ,
> > \ ("\''/").__..--''"'_.
> > \ __ `9_ 9 ) `_. ( ).`-.__.`)
> > ( Y .)' ._ ) ` `.`'_..-'
> > _..`--''_..-_/ /--'_.' .'
> > (il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
>
> Okay, if thats the way you want it...
>
>
> (Meeyoww)
> \
> \ ('\-'/').__..---'-~_.
> \ __ `9_ 9 ) `_. ( ).`-.__.`)
> ( Y .)' ._ ) ` `.`'_..-'
> _..`--''_..-_/ /--'_.' .'
> (il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
>
>
> (Meeyoww)
> \ ('---/')___.,,.--.._
> \ __ `9_ 9 ) `_. ( ).`,.__.-
> ( Y .)' ._ ) ` `.`'_..-'
> _..`--''_..-_/ /--'_.' .'
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>
> (Meeyoww)
> \ ,-...--.._____...._
> \ __ `9_ 9 ) `_. ' )"-,_ __.
> ( Y .)' ._ ) ` `.`'_".'
> _..`--''_..-_/ /--'_.' .'
> (il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
>
> (meeyoww)
> \ .,___.,__ ____
> \ __ `9_ 9 ) """"" : \-__ .
> ( y .)' ._ ) ` `.`'""'
> _..`--''_..-_/ /--'_.' .'
> (il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
>
> (meeyoww)
> \ __ __
> \ __ `9""9 \"------'""-__
> ( y .)' ._ ) ` `.``-
> _..`--''_..-_/ /--'_.'.'
> (il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
>
> (meeyoww)
> \
> \ __ :6--6,_--......---.
> ( y .)' ._ ) ` `"``-
> _..`--''_..-_/ /--'_.'.'
> (il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
>
> (meeyoww)
> \
> \ __ ,o..o_ ..______,..
> ( y .)' ._ ) ` ```-
> _..`--''_..-_/ /--'.'.'
> (il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
>
> (meeyoww)
> \
> \ __ .__. ___
> ( y .)'""""")"` ``-
> _..`--''_..-_/ /--'..'
> (il ).-'' ((i).' (!.-'
>
> (meeyoww)
> \ __ _ _
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> _..`--''_..-_/ /--'-'
> (il ).-'' ((i).' (!.-'
>
> (meeyoww)
> \__
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> _..`--''_..-_/ /--':
> (il ).-'' ((i).' (!.-'
>
> (meeyoww)
> \__ '-_-`,___.._ __,..
> _..`--''_..-_," ,--'.
> (il ).-'' ((i).' (!.-'
>
> (meeyoww)
> \__ -. .-. ___ __,.
> _.,`--''""'-_," ,-,:
> (il ).-''''((i).' (!.'
>
> (meeyoww)
> \__ ,_ _, _
> _.,`--''"":,_.:"'-`:
> (il ).-''''((i).' (!.'
>
> (meeyoww)
> \__ . . _
> _.,"=="---._ .:"'-`:
> (il :.-''--;(i)'.-(!.'
>
> (meeyoww)
> \__
> _.,-,,-,.._ _.--,.
> (il :.-''--;(i)'.-(:'
>
> (meeyoww)
> \ ___.__._.._ _.,
> (il :.-''--,:i)'.";.-
>
> (meeyoww)
> \ _ _ __ __
> ,:i"._.-"--..:i-.",__
>
> (meeyoww)
> \
> _.:-,_,--,,._.:,_-.__
>
> (meeyoww)
> \
> __.,___.._____.__.___
>
> (meeyoww)
> \
> _____________________
>
> \|/
> =-POP-=
> /|\
> _____________________
>
> .:.
> -pOp-
> ':`
> _____________________
>
> .:.
> .:o:.
> :::
> : _____________________
>
> .
> :::
> .:o:.
> .:. _____________________
>
> .:.
> :::
> .:::. _____________________
>
> .
> .:.
> .:::. _____________________
>
> .
> .:::. _____________________
>
> >---Steve
>
> /^JN - The Anti JN - Mighty morphin' power cats.
> --
> ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A>
########
> # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc
#
> # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se
#
> ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it.
################
THAT WAS STUPID!!!!!!!!
In article <4dm2m4$kef@news.bu.edu> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: >Flapjack (nosmith@vassar.edu) wrote: >: In article <4d6nre$38s@news.bu.edu> >: limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: >: What about his secret plan to end the war? >That's another thing I don't like about him--he gives into the Commies!!! >Damn Commies!!! Con damnies! >: Hey Ross, give me a thousand dollars. >Sure. I just have to save up from Spatch's nickels. So far I'm at 65 cents. Hey Ross, give me 65 cents. >: flapjack-who figures it's worth a try >Ross--who's just glad that Flapjack is no longer avoiding him. *MM -- who thinks that's busacee Ross's stopped tryin' to mess around with Flapjack's butt alla time.
In article <4dumi4$v5v@hawk.pix.za> swatkins@pixie.co.za (Simon Watkins) writes: >Reading through this newsgroup, I have given up all hope of EVER >matching its patrons blatant stupidity...keep up the good work!!! >------------------------------------------------- Hey, sign this guy up in alt.wisdom! *MM
In article <4dkngq$2i3$3@mhadf.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: > This worries me. > > Who gave birth to it? > > Is it an accident from .44's party last spring? > > Does anybody want to take responsibility for it, or should > we let it run feral? I say we spam Usenet with a post called NEWSGROUP LOVERS PLEASE READ flapjack-who think's that oughtta get results -- Flapjack's back, and he brought a Toaster Oven. "It ain't easy coming up with .sig quotes so obscure that they can't be seen in traditional spectrums of light"--Anonymous Something probably isn't working at: http://openweb.vassar.edu/students/nosmith/nosmith.html
In article <4dra3k$21l@news.bu.edu> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: > Jason Nafziger (jnafz@ix.netcom.com) wrote: > : Looky, looky, limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) sez: > > : >Anti JN (dat92jni@ludat.lth.se) wrote: > > : >It's Jason Nazfiger's birthday, and they're making him work. > > : No, it's MY party, and I'll cry if I want to... > > Cry if you want to? Cry if he wants to. > > > Ross--who's looking to finish up the chorus. flapjack-who's always glad to help -- Flapjack's back, and he brought a Toaster Oven. "It ain't easy coming up with .sig quotes so obscure that they can't be seen in traditional spectrums of light"--Anonymous Something probably isn't working at: http://openweb.vassar.edu/students/nosmith/nosmith.html
ab608@freenet.hamilton.on.ca (Neil Fowler) wrote: >Damn, I forgot what I was going to say. That's okay. We understand. --Bill
In some bacon article sgreatho@access.k12.wv.us quoted 200 lines and added 1: [ My mighty morphin' power cats deleted ] >THAT WAS STUPID!!!!!!!! And pray do tell, do you call what you just did? /^JN - The Anti JN - Of course, it was stupid, but hey, I'm the Anti JN. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
nosmith@vassar.edu (Flapjack) writ: >flapjack-who recalls a Beckett play called "Breath" which, at thirty >seconds holds the record for shortest play ever Well, for a quantum physicist, he's pretty hot shit, but for a playwright, he's pretty sucky. - spatch, working on his birfday beer - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and the fifth Banana Split "Frank, this is science, not Romper Room." - Dr. Clayton Forrester "And he dug up her grave and built a cage with her bones." - W. "Growl" Zevon PAT BOONE MUST DIE. http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
vinal03@interserv.com writ: >I like to post I like to post My post is so comfortably love-ly. -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and the fourth Chilly-Down "CALLING ALL GOPHERS: Come on along and listen to The Lullabye of Broadway. Then you can go home. " - Roz Chast
Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writ: >Jargon >Jargon >Jargon >Jargon >Jargon >Jargon >You know, after awhile, it looks like the name of a >character in a bad science fiction movie. GREETINGS, HU-MAN. I AM THE ONE KNOWN AS JAR-GON. I HAVE COME FROM A RACE FAR SUPERIOR TO YOURS. WE WILL TEACH YOU MANY THINGS LIKE IRRIGATION, MULCHING, AND HOW TO GET THOSE LITTLE PIECES OF MEAT OUT FROM BETWEEN YOUR TEETH. I HOPE WE CAN LIVE PEACEFULL - hey, put that fucking peashooter away, kid. -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and the fourth Chilly-Down "CALLING ALL GOPHERS: Come on along and listen to the Lullabye of Broadway. Then you can go home. " - Roz Chast Please to check out: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
In article <DLIupB.Iw6@news.zippo.com> spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) writes: > sdc@teleport.com () writ: > > > >"My doctor said Vomatine" > > VOMATINE! VOMATINE! VOMATINE! > > > - spatch, ok, it's no MAALOX, and flapjack prolly already beat me to this, but > bear with the old fool as he deals with a crappy newsfeed - Nope, somehow, that one slipped my mind. It does give me some ideas for .sig quotes though. It wouldn't take much to top my current one. flapjack-who advises everyone who doesn't understand this to go read something else -- Flapjack's back, and he brought a Toaster Oven. "It ain't easy coming up with .sig quotes so obscure that they can't be seen in traditional spectrums of light"--Anonymous Something probably isn't working at: http://openweb.vassar.edu/students/nosmith/nosmith.html
Woody Wood <oldschool@earthlink.net> writ: >What gives with this spatch crap? If your not mistaken Whose not mistaken are you taking about? I don't have a not mistaken. Does anyone have a not mistaken? I think Woody found one here, maybe it's yours if you lost one. > there is >a binary group with a spatch in the name. I hate the thing. I guess cause >I don't know what it means. Well, that's a good reason to hate something, cause you don't know what it means. Did the NAACP ever call you back on that interview? > I know what a spatula is. spatch u. la. spa-chew-la. SPAH TCHYU LUH. LUTEFISK! LUTEFISK! LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTEFUCKINGFISK!!! >Did I tell you about my colon? Sorry, thought I was in the retirement home >already and we were talking shop. In concluding, cut the spatch crap out. *ZOTS woody wood with a mighty stoopid thunderbolt* i should make a macro out of this. >Take note--- I'm moving again soon. My email (if you care) will be >oldschol@comcat.com If you are bored drop me some hate mail. >That is what I do when I'm bored. No, when you're bored you sit around posting "HOW CAN I SEE THE PICSHURES" to alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.spatch. We've seen your name around, you modo. -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and the fourth Chilly-Down "CALLING ALL GOPHERS: Come on along and listen to the Lullabye of Broadway. Then you can go home. " - Roz Chast Please to check out: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
Jason Nafziger (jnafz@ix.netcom.com) wrote: : Looky, looky, kegranro@mtu.edu (cagey) sez: : >On 20 Jan 1996 17:51:48 GMT, Ross Garmil <limrag@bu.edu> wrote: : > > Jason Nafziger (jnafz@ix.netcom.com) wrote: : > > : Looky, looky, limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) sez: : > > : > > : >Anti JN (dat92jni@ludat.lth.se) wrote: : > > : >: In some bacon article vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) stated: : > > : >: >In article <4ddshv$kqs@merkurius.lu.se> dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) writes: : > > : >: >>In some bacon article Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> stated: : > > : >: > : > > : >: >>>JEEZE!!! : > > : >: >>>It's three o'clock in the morning! : > > : >: > : > > : >: >>No it's not! : > > : >: >>It's 16:39! : > > : >: > : > > : >: >No it's not! : > > : >: >It's 4 in the morning, the end of December, and it's Thursday! : > > : > > : >: No wait! It's 6:36 in the morning of the 7 November! Have a nice weekend! : > > : > > : >: >*MM /lc : > > : > > : >: /^JN - The Anti JN - /eieio : > > : > > : >Sorry guys, but you're all wrong. : > > : > > : >It's Jason Nazfiger's birthday, and they're making him work. : > > : > > : No, it's MY party, and I'll cry if I want to... : > > : > > Cry if you want to? : >Cry if you want to? : >cagey -- who would cry too : If it happened to you? Thanks, guys, that was touching. Ross--who's the type of guy who wanders around.
tv's Spatch replied to fnargle: :E. <fnargle@primenet.com> writ: :>Bill Wilkinson <wxwilki@lookout> wrote: :>> Where'd this news group come from? :>From a newgroup that was in control.newgroup until I went to :>look for it and post it here. It was there earlier, I swear... :>Wow. Cancelling newgroup msgs instead of issuing an rmgroup? :>Will that WORK? :It won't work. The newgroup's already propagated, apparently, :thanks to Tjames Madison (THANK YOU TJAMES, YOU NUT) :So fooey. Weird that all this happened shortly before Spatch's Birthday. --Bill (or at least, when i discovered it) -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Somebody said: :> SUBSCRIBE TO ALT.FUN.WITH.STEVE TODAY :> :> Steve :> (A converted William) : ^^^^^ That's too bad. --Bill (never been converted, never Will be) -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
This is the display trn gave me when I checked out News today. a+tv's Spatch 1 >HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLOOOOO b+tv's Spatch 1 >BOINK! d+tv's Spatch 1 >US: Texas Job Report Upda e+tv's Spatch 1 >What is the point of wasps????? f+tv's Spatch 1 >hugs g+tv's Spatch 1 >How Fucking Stupid You Can Get i+tv's Spatch 1 >Posting j+tv's JAR-GON 1 >Jargon File l+tv's Spatch 1 >ANIMAL LOVERS PLEASE READ o+tv's Spatch 1 >Asian Fantasies r+tv's Spatch 2 >Vomatine!! Flapjack s+tv's Spatch 1 >Prune juice t+tv's Spatch 1 >My girlfriend is late this month... u+tv's Spatch 1 >101 AOL disk ideas....90 more needed!!!! v+tv's Spatch 1 >Howdy w+tv's Spatch 1 >All hail Spatch x+tv's Spatch 1 >Spatch my ass Just wanted to share. /^JN - The Anti JN - Apparently Spatch had nothing to do for a while. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
Pawel Juch (paweljuch@aol.com) wrote: : The oods of him Just him fufilling the 1st 8 predictions are 1 to : 10,000,000,000,000. : Wana bet there is a God? What oods are you oofering?
t'vs@spatc.rent.a.na (Spatula) wrote: :jnafz@ix.netcom.com (Jason Nafziger) writ: :>Yeah, Spatch, whaddabout him? Don't you think it's about time :>for a <gasp> NEW VERSION OF THE FAQ??? :</gasp> :Sheesh, Nafziger, you really coulda pissed off some :Netscape-using readers with an open gasp tag like that. YEAH! Like he sed! You want open tags? Here's an open tag: <kaboom> --Bill (who will periodically advertise the point of his clone page just to be annoying) -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
In article <DLItuF.Hop@news.zippo.com> spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) writes: >In case anyone is wondering, the changes I'm making to the FAQ are thus: >[...] >8: anything else? Newslinks to alt.stupidity.spatch and alt.and.bacon perhaps? *MM
limrage@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) displayed spatchis envy: :Ross--who can't post to alt.stupidity.spatch. You cross posted here, but can you read all the messages here??? Imagine altdotstoopididity on steriods!!!!! And now, Chester karma wants to write the faq!!!!! BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHH!(choke...cough...bwa..gag) NO CARRIER -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) writ: >In some bacon article vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) stated: >>In article <DLD5DH.96q@news.zippo.com> spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) writes: >>>dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) writ: >>>>In some bacon article Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> stated: >>>>>spatula@retina.com (tv's Spatch) declared: >>>>>:I hereby declare the weekend of Jan 21st BOB VILA - SPATCH TOTAL >>>>>:WICKED COINCIDENCE WEEKEND. >>>>>:We must all get smashed on cheap shellac and power sanders! >>>>>Sounds like a party! >>>>Yes! I'll bring the crackers and vodka! >>>>>Countdown: >>>>> >>>>>Party at Spatch's in 9 days! >>>>Party at Spatch's in 6 days! >>>Antelope Freeway, 4 days ... er, miles... >>Party at Spatch's pretty soon! >Antelope party at Spatch's in ... no wait, today! >>Yep! The learcopter just arrived outside my window. >>See you tonite! >Sorry, but Tonite said she couldn't come. Morning said >she would come though. No, Morning broke, and it was a mess. We hadda clean bits of her off the mantle and everything. >/^JN - The Anti JN - Already a little bit tipsy. >-- >######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## ># The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # ># Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # >############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################ -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and the fourth Chilly-Down "CALLING ALL GOPHERS: Come on along and listen to the Lullabye of Broadway. Then you can go home. " - Roz Chast Please to check out: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
swatkins@pixie.co.za (Simon Watkins) writ: > <Insert 'cool' phrase here> > <make world happy> > <be happy> <This reads very wierd backwards! > <get some sleep now!> These tags are what's wrong with Netscape. -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and the fourth Chilly-Down "CALLING ALL GOPHERS: Come on along and listen to the Lullabye of Broadway. Then you can go home. " - Roz Chast Please to check out: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
On Tue, 23 Jan 1996 04:28:31 GMT, Chester Karma <fts@cris.com> wrote:
> Eek! I've succumbed to pressure and made an easy-to-find message.. REAL EASY
> BARQNLFCNGPUJNFJNYXVATQBJAGURFGERRGNAQURFNJNANPPVQRAGVAIBYIVATNOVXRNAQNPNE
> GUROVXRJNFCERGGLFZNFURQHCHAQREARNGUGURPNENAQGURNZOHYNAPRUNQWHFGFCRQGBJNEQF
> GURUBFCVGNYABJFCNGPUORVATGURRIREGUEVSGLNAQSEHTNYCREFBAFGNEGRQWHZCVATNEBHAQ
> FPERNZVATVTBGQVOFBAGUROVXRVTBGQVOFBAGUROVXRABOBQLRYFRJNAGRQVGFBFCNGPUTBGVG
> *sniff*... what a touching message... post to alt.stupidity when ya find it.
> (Shouldn't take more than a couple minutes) -- Chester Karma -- fts@cris.com
Yes, but I get dibs on his kidneys
that reminds me of a joke that I thought was hilarious when I was a wee
sprout (as opposed to the big weed I know am?)
There were three people put in a mental hospital because, well, they were
insane. To make sure, though, they put them through a simple test first.
Their dialog went like this:
Questioner (pointing to arm): What is this?
First patient: A leg?
Questioner: Nope, take him away
First patient is dragged into the hospital kicking and screaming
Questioner (pointing to arm): What is this?
Second patient: A stomach.
Questioner: Not even close. Beat him while you drag him away.
Second patient is dragged into the hospital screaming
Questioner (pointing to arm): What is this?
Third patient: An arm.
Questioner (pointing to leg): What is this?
Third patient: That's easy. It's a leg.
Questioner: Well that's great. You're free to go. Before you do, though, do
you mind telling me how you knew all that?
Third patient (tapping forehead with finger): Kidneys, man, kidneys.
heehee
OK, so it's not that funny. It was when I was five, though...
sheese... no sense of humor
cagey -- kidney marmalade... mmmmm
--
new .sig coming Real Soon Now(tm)
spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) wrote: :- spatch, working on his birfday beer - ..and how much is the octane in that beer? --Bill (who will really regret this tomorrow) -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Looky, looky, fts@cris.com (Chester Karma) sez: >In article <DLIrDG.EDM@news.zippo.com>, spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) >wrote: >>No, no, like this: >> >> +-----------+-----------+-----------+ >> | **Brady** | **Brady** | **Brady** | >> +-----------+-----------+-----------+ >> | **Brady** | AnnBDavis | **Brady** | >> +-----------+-----------+-----------+ >> | **Brady** | **Brady** | **Brady** | >> +-----------+-----------+-----------+ > +-------------+-------------+-------------+ > | Bill W. | Ross G. | Magnus M. | > +-------------+-------------+-------------+ > | Flapjack | tv's Spatch | Nosy | > +-------------+-------------+-------------+ > | Jason N. | Anti JN | Bob Vila | > +-------------+-------------+-------------+ >(dah dah dah dah dah dah...) <song snipped> As proud as I am to be the Cindy of the family, I'm a bit afraid that we'll all be hearing Flapjack running around going "Bill Wilkinson, Bill Wilkinson, Bill Wilkinson!" all the time now... (And how ironic that he was rejected for Greg again...) >--- >Eek! I've succumbed to pressure and made an easy-to-find message.. REAL EASY > BARQNLFCNGPUJNFJNYXVATQBJAGURFGERRGNAQURFNJNANPPVQRAGVAIBYIVATNOVXRNAQNPNE > GUROVXRJNF****PAULISDEADPAULISDEADPAULISDEAD****PNENAQGURNZOHYNAPRUNQWHFGFC I FOUND IT!!!!! ____________________ "There's a little piece of everyone that no one else likes." Do not adjust your mom (yet), this is CRAPPY the HOMEPAGE (for now): http://metro.turnpike.net/C/crapco/index.html
In article <DLIrDG.EDM@news.zippo.com>, spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch)
wrote:
>No, no, like this:
>
> +-----------+-----------+-----------+
> | **Brady** | **Brady** | **Brady** |
> +-----------+-----------+-----------+
> | **Brady** | AnnBDavis | **Brady** |
> +-----------+-----------+-----------+
> | **Brady** | **Brady** | **Brady** |
> +-----------+-----------+-----------+
+-------------+-------------+-------------+
| Bill W. | Ross G. | Magnus M. |
+-------------+-------------+-------------+
| Flapjack | tv's Spatch | Nosy |
+-------------+-------------+-------------+
| Jason N. | Anti JN | Bob Vila |
+-------------+-------------+-------------+
(dah dah dah dah dah dah...)
Here's the story...
of a froup bout stupidity
Has a kitch-en utensil for a god
Has lots of Play-A-Days
oh, and bacon
And threads about antelopes
Here's the story
of a man named Spatchy
who was dizzy on shillac all his own
So he called his
friends together
yet they were all alone
till the one day when the Longest Thread started
and they knew that they were out to lunch
And this froup should somehow form a family
that's the way they all became the Stupid Bunch.
The Stupid Bunch... The Stupid Bunch...
That's the way they became the Stupid Bunch.
(dah dah dah dah DAH DAH dah dah)
Chester - who'll take tv's Spatch in the center square to block...
---
Eek! I've succumbed to pressure and made an easy-to-find message.. REAL EASY
BARQNLFCNGPUJNFJNYXVATQBJAGURFGERRGNAQURFNJNANPPVQRAGVAIBYIVATNOVXRNAQNPNE
GUROVXRJNFCERGGLFZNFURQHCHAQREARNGUGURPNENAQGURNZOHYNAPRUNQWHFGFCRQGBJNEQF
GURUBFCVGNYABJFCNGPUORVATGURRIREGUEVSGLNAQSEHTNYCREFBAFGNEGRQWHZCVATNEBHAQ
FPERNZVATVTBGQVOFBAGUROVXRVTBGQVOFBAGUROVXRABOBQLRYFRJNAGRQVGFBFCNGPUTBGVG
*sniff*... what a touching message... post to alt.stupidity when ya find it.
(Shouldn't take more than a couple minutes) -- Chester Karma -- fts@cris.com
Looky, looky, Mircalla Mordenheim <ksm3ba@sirius> sez: >Hey hey, its real. and I'm in it. Altdotstupiditydotspatch. >Am I the only one that posts from here? >Mircalla - ah'ma just lurkin'. That's IT!!! I'm mailin' Netcom today! Jason - who can't stand not getting this group!!!! ____________________ "There's a little piece of everyone that no one else likes." Do not adjust your mom (yet), this is CRAPPY the HOMEPAGE (for now): http://metro.turnpike.net/C/crapco/index.html
In article <4dvpnj$4qu@merkurius.lu.se> dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) writes:
>In some bacon article sdc@teleport.com () stated:
>>My cat (fig. 1) is almost out of lives.
>Damn you Steve!!!
>>(Meeyoww)
>> \ , ,
>> \ ("\''/").__..--''"'_.
>> \ __ `9_ 9 ) `_. ( ).`-.__.`)
>> ( Y .)' ._ ) ` `.`'_..-'
>> _..`--''_..-_/ /--'_.' .'
>> (il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
>Okay, if thats the way you want it...
>(Meeyoww)
> \
> \ ('\-'/').__..---'-~_.
> \ __ `9_ 9 ) `_. ( ).`-.__.`)
> ( Y .)' ._ ) ` `.`'_..-'
> _..`--''_..-_/ /--'_.' .'
> (il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
>(Meeyoww)
> \ ('---/')___.,,.--.._
> \ __ `9_ 9 ) `_. ( ).`,.__.-
> ( Y .)' ._ ) ` `.`'_..-'
> _..`--''_..-_/ /--'_.' .'
> (il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
>(Meeyoww)
> \ ,-...--.._____...._
> \ __ `9_ 9 ) `_. ' )"-,_ __.
> ( Y .)' ._ ) ` `.`'_".'
> _..`--''_..-_/ /--'_.' .'
> (il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
>(meeyoww)
> \ .,___.,__ ____
> \ __ `9_ 9 ) """"" : \-__ .
> ( y .)' ._ ) ` `.`'""'
> _..`--''_..-_/ /--'_.' .'
> (il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
>(meeyoww)
> \ __ __
> \ __ `9""9 \"------'""-__
> ( y .)' ._ ) ` `.``-
> _..`--''_..-_/ /--'_.'.'
> (il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
>(meeyoww)
> \
> \ __ :6--6,_--......---.
> ( y .)' ._ ) ` `"``-
> _..`--''_..-_/ /--'_.'.'
> (il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
>(meeyoww)
> \
> \ __ ,o..o_ ..______,..
> ( y .)' ._ ) ` ```-
> _..`--''_..-_/ /--'.'.'
> (il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
>(meeyoww)
> \
> \ __ .__. ___
> ( y .)'""""")"` ``-
> _..`--''_..-_/ /--'..'
> (il ).-'' ((i).' (!.-'
>(meeyoww)
> \ __ _ _
> ( y" ),-----.--""--.
> _..`--''_..-_/ /--'-'
> (il ).-'' ((i).' (!.-'
>(meeyoww)
> \__
> ("y")-...,,,_,.--,.
> _..`--''_..-_/ /--':
> (il ).-'' ((i).' (!.-'
> (meeyoww)
> \__ '-_-`,___.._ __,..
> _..`--''_..-_," ,--'.
> (il ).-'' ((i).' (!.-'
> (meeyoww)
> \__ -. .-. ___ __,.
> _.,`--''""'-_," ,-,:
> (il ).-''''((i).' (!.'
> (meeyoww)
> \__ ,_ _, _
> _.,`--''"":,_.:"'-`:
> (il ).-''''((i).' (!.'
> (meeyoww)
> \__ . . _
> _.,"=="---._ .:"'-`:
> (il :.-''--;(i)'.-(!.'
> (meeyoww)
> \__
> _.,-,,-,.._ _.--,.
> (il :.-''--;(i)'.-(:'
> (meeyoww)
> \ ___.__._.._ _.,
> (il :.-''--,:i)'.";.-
> (meeyoww)
> \ _ _ __ __
> ,:i"._.-"--..:i-.",__
> (meeyoww)
> \
> _.:-,_,--,,._.:,_-.__
> (meeyoww)
> \
> __.,___.._____.__.___
> (meeyoww)
> \
> _____________________
> \|/
> =-POP-=
> /|\
> _____________________
> .:.
> -pOp-
> ':`
> _____________________
> .:.
> .:o:.
> :::
> : _____________________
> .
> :::
> .:o:.
> .:. _____________________
> .:.
> :::
> .:::. _____________________
> .
> .:.
> .:::. _____________________
> .
> .:::. _____________________
>>---Steve
>/^JN - The Anti JN - Mighty morphin' power cats.
>--
Hey, that was pretty cool! Keep scrolling the thing downwards and blink
your eyes apprroprptiraley... it's the first alt dot stoopidity movie ever!
*MM -- who made an accidental visit to alt.fan.warlord and saw some
high quality longswords there.
In article <4e365o$e0p@ixnews7.ix.netcom.com> jnafz@ix.netcom.com (Jason Nafziger) writes: > Looky, looky, fts@cris.com (Chester Karma) sez: > > >In article <DLIrDG.EDM@news.zippo.com>, spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) > >wrote: > > >>No, no, like this: > >> > >> +-----------+-----------+-----------+ > >> | **Brady** | **Brady** | **Brady** | > >> +-----------+-----------+-----------+ > >> | **Brady** | AnnBDavis | **Brady** | > >> +-----------+-----------+-----------+ > >> | **Brady** | **Brady** | **Brady** | > >> +-----------+-----------+-----------+ > > > > +-------------+-------------+-------------+ > > | Bill W. | Ross G. | Magnus M. | > > +-------------+-------------+-------------+ > > | Flapjack | tv's Spatch | Nosy | > > +-------------+-------------+-------------+ > > | Jason N. | Anti JN | Bob Vila | > > +-------------+-------------+-------------+ > > >(dah dah dah dah dah dah...) > > <song snipped> > > As proud as I am to be the Cindy of the family, I'm a bit afraid that > we'll all be hearing Flapjack running around going "Bill Wilkinson, > Bill Wilkinson, Bill Wilkinson!" all the time now... Well, I do that anyway. . . I have a hard time telling one clone from another. Hey! Remember that time where Bob found that Mouth Figurine in Hawaii and it caused all sorts of bad luck. A wall hanging almost killed Nosy, then a tarantula snuck into my bag, then Spatch told us he threw his back out hula dancing. No wonder. I've never heard of doing a hula horizontally before. > > (And how ironic that he was rejected for Greg again...) > I'll be reveng'd on the whole pack of you. flapjack-whom Ross can't sock, seeing as Shakespeare is in the public domain -- Flapjack's back, and he brought an improved .sig quote. "We (??) forty-five to them four, you know, and the hours went back five-to-five, (??), therefore."--Bo Something probably isn't working at: http://openweb.vassar.edu/students/nosmith/nosmith.html
In some bacon article limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) stated: >tv's Spatch (spatula@retina.net) wrote: >:Mircalla Mordenheim <ksm3ba@sirius> writ: >:>On Wed, 10 Jan 1996, Magnus Mulqvist wrote: >:>>In article <30f30b45.97850260@ixnews4.ix.netcom.com> mikroa@ix.netcom.com >:>>(Michael Roach) writes: >:>>>Thanks to all for the enjoyment and diversion I've received in this froup, >:>>>and I hope I've been able to make some of you laugh from time to time. I am >:>>>leaving my current job in California in a couple of weeks and moving to >:>>>Jacksonville, FL. I've found that I can't pack and post at the same time >:>>>and am curtailing my usenet activities until I settle in. >:>>>See you in a few weeks! >:>>>-- >:>>Who are you? >:>>*MM > >:>His name is Michael Roach and he is funky... >: His name is Michael Roach. You killed his father. Prepare to die. >His name is Roach, Michael Roach. Oh Michael...how the hell do we get those bacons back down again? >Ross--who screwed up the cascade early. /^JN - The Anti JN - Who screwed it up a bit after Ross. Space brought to you by stupid newsserver. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In some bacon article sdc@teleport.com () stated: >I would like to start an intelligent discussion about the >advantages/disadvantages of starting a new group entitled >alt.stupidity.spatch in which the main topic of discussion would be >Flapjacks butt and other related subjects such as bacon and corn. >A.S.S. Would be an unmoderated group. > >Comments welcome. Flames directed to /dev/null. I feel this group would fill a very large need of the readers of the meta group Alt.stupidity. Of late there has been so much traffic that sorting out the subgroup of messages pertaining Spatch, Bob Vila, Flapjacks butt and bacon would be of advantage for both the persons reading the aforementioned posts and those more interested in other subjects. I strongly recommend the creation of this group with the smallest possible delay. Alt.stupidity.spatch would enrich the culture of the Usenet and bring help and merriment to many people. >---Steve /^JN - The Anti JN - Support stupidity! Support Alt.stupidity.spatch! -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
Magnus Mulqvist (vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi) wrote: : In article <4dm2m4$kef@news.bu.edu> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: : >Flapjack (nosmith@vassar.edu) wrote: : >: In article <4d6nre$38s@news.bu.edu> : >: limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: : >: What about his secret plan to end the war? : >That's another thing I don't like about him--he gives into the Commies!!! : >Damn Commies!!! : Con damnies! Cod namnies!! : >: Hey Ross, give me a thousand dollars. : >Sure. I just have to save up from Spatch's nickels. So far I'm at 65 : >cents. : Hey Ross, give me 65 cents. As soon as I give Flapjack his thousadn dollars. : >: flapjack-who figures it's worth a try : >Ross--who's just glad that Flapjack is no longer avoiding him. : *MM -- who thinks that's busacee Ross's stopped tryin' to mess : around with Flapjack's butt alla time. Ross--who doesn't know what Magnus is talking about.
mattmcinn@leonis.nus.sg (Brett McInnes) wrote: :Pawel Juch (paweljuch@aol.com) wrote: :: The oods of him Just him fufilling the 1st 8 predictions are 1 :: to 10,000,000,000,000. Wana bet there is a God? :What oods are you oofering? Oods Boodkins, man! He just told you! --Bill -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) wrote: :In article <DLItuF.Hop@news.zippo.com> spatula@retina.net (tv's :Spatch) writes: :>In case anyone is wondering, the changes I'm making to the FAQ :>are thus: :>[...] :>8: anything else? :Newslinks to alt.stupidity.spatch and alt.and.bacon perhaps? I hope you just edited your "post to" line and didn't actually newgroup that last one. This is starting to get out of hand, you know. --Bill (making a plea for in^H^Hsanity on the internet) -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
kevcol@netgate.net (kevbob) writ: >"\"Secret Dave\"" <davidd@gladstone.uoregon.edu> spake thusly: >>"DAVE-0's--Fortified with 9 Essential Vitiamins and Iron, plus... >>"RADIUM," for glow-in-the-dark goodness! >>Heh heh heh. Tres Kewl, huh? >>"Secret Dave" >>(formerly David D) >All's I know is my cereal would have 250 mg of caffeine in it. Just like Spatch Flakes! SCENE: Man sitting at a table with a pot of coffee, pouring a mug. ANNOUNCER: G'morning, Steve! MAN: Uhm... hi. What are you doing in my kitchen? ANNOUNCER: Bet you like that coffee, eh, Steve. MAN: Yes, well, I do. Why? ANNOUNCER: Do you like it for the taste or the caffeine you need to get through a busy day? MAN: Both, actually, but the caffeine helps a bit more... ANNOUNCER: Have you tried Spatch Flakes, Steve? MAN: Spatch Flakes? No. Why, should I? ANNOUNCER: Everybody should try Spatch Flakes, Steve! Look! [ CUT TO: Shot of box of Spatch Flakes pouring into a bowl, most of the flakes disintegrate as they enter Earth's atmosphere ] ANNOUNCER: Little chocolate mocha coffee flavored flakes, combined with intensely sugary chocolaty spatula-shaped marshmallows ... all working to give you the highest caffeine high you've ever had! [ CUT TO: The MAN at his table again. ] MAN: Highest caffeine high? How? ANNOUNCER: You see, Steve, each bowl of Spatch Flakes contains more caffeine than is legally acceptable by the Malaysian Goverment. MAN: How much is that? ANNOUNCER: Let's put this rhetorically, Steve. How many pots of coffee do you think you'd have to drink in order to equal the caffeine content in one bowl of Spatch Flakes? MAN: Uhm, two? ANNOUNCER: Nope. MAN: Three? ANNOUNCER: One more guess, Steve. MAN: Five? ANNOUNCER: You're way too low. You'd have to drink twenty-five cups of extra strength "Ulcer Boy" brand coffee in order to equal the caffeine content in just ONE BOWL of Spatch Flakes! [ All of a sudden twenty-four more coffeepots appear in the kitchen. The MAN is suitably perplexed. ] MAN: Twenty-five?! Are you crazy?! My eyes would shake themselves out of my sockets and I'd make Parkinsons victims look like brain surgeons! ANNOUNCER: Not our fault your body's chemistry can't handle the intense caffeine rush of Spatch Flakes, Steve. But look at me! MAN: I can't, you're doing this as a voice-over. ANNOUNCER: I haven't slept for twelve days, thanks to two bowls of Spatch Flakes! I feel like I want to die right now, my head is hurting so hard it feels like I've been flattened by a runaway anvil, and I can't blink! But I'm on the go-go-GO!! MAN: I think I'll just stick to this coffee, thanks. ANNOUNCER: Suit yourself! MAN: Okay. ANNOUNCER: See you later, Steve. I'm on my way out to buy a case of Maalox. ANNOUNCER 2: Spatch Flakes. Because sleep is irrational, anyway. [ CUE cheesy music. A Box of Spatch Flakes is superimposed on the screen. ] MAN: Why did he keep calling me Steve? -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and the fourth Chilly-Down "CALLING ALL GOPHERS: Come on along and listen to the Lullabye of Broadway. Then you can go home. " - Roz Chast Please to check out: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
In article <4e49kv$ehd$2@mhade.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: >vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) wrote: >:In article <DLItuF.Hop@news.zippo.com> spatula@retina.net (tv's >:Spatch) writes: >:>In case anyone is wondering, the changes I'm making to the FAQ >:>are thus: >:>[...] >:>8: anything else? >:Newslinks to alt.stupidity.spatch and alt.and.bacon perhaps? >I hope you just edited your "post to" line and didn't >actually newgroup that last one. This is starting to get >out of hand, you know. >--Bill (making a plea for in^H^Hsanity on the internet) At ease! I would've been late. As I was admiring some high class longswords in another group I noticed that several articles were crossposted to alt.and.bacon... my first thought was pretty much like yours, but what the Hell! Let's make Alt Dot And Dot Bacon something great and far out of hand! *MM -- who thinks he should contact his webmaster pretty soon.
Looky, looky, dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) sez:
>In some bacon article sdc@teleport.com () stated:
>>I would like to start an intelligent discussion about the
>>advantages/disadvantages of starting a new group entitled
>>alt.stupidity.spatch in which the main topic of discussion would be
>>Flapjacks butt and other related subjects such as bacon and corn.
>>A.S.S. Would be an unmoderated group.
>>Comments welcome. Flames directed to /dev/null.
>I feel this group would fill a very large need of the readers of
>the meta group Alt.stupidity. Of late there has been so much traffic
>that sorting out the subgroup of messages pertaining Spatch, Bob Vila,
>Flapjacks butt and bacon would be of advantage for both the persons
>reading the aforementioned posts and those more interested in other
>subjects.
>I strongly recommend the creation of this group with the smallest
>possible delay. Alt.stupidity.spatch would enrich the culture of
>the Usenet and bring help and merriment to many people.
I believe alt.stupidity.spatch could serve a great need to the regular
readers of alt.stupidity, in that we could likely avoid the annoying
cross-posts from those who think it's funny to have "alt.stupidity" in
the Newsgroups: line. I feel alt.stupidity.spatch would more
accurately capture the true spirit of what alt.stupidity is supposed
to be about.
Jason.
____________________
"There's a little piece of everyone that no one else likes."
Do not adjust your mom (yet), this is CRAPPY the HOMEPAGE
(for now): http://metro.turnpike.net/C/crapco/index.html
Support alt.stupidity.spatch!
vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) wrote: :Yse! I thnik we all rerembem taht one! Huh? What's that boy? Yes sir! Spreek INGRIS tloop! YAASSSIRR! YOUAINTGOTNOFRIENDSONYERLEFT! YER RIGHT! YOUAINTGOTNOFIRENDSONYERRIGHT! YER LEFT! HOUND DOG!!!! ... It's alright, they're speaking Chinese... --Bill (who posted it here at the toss of a randomly firing neuron) -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
On Wed, 24 Jan 1996 20:01:00 GMT, Jason Nafziger <jnafz@ix.netcom.com> wrote: > Looky, looky, dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) sez: > >In some bacon article sdc@teleport.com () stated: > >>I would like to start an intelligent discussion about the > >>advantages/disadvantages of starting a new group entitled > >>alt.stupidity.spatch in which the main topic of discussion would be > >>Flapjacks butt and other related subjects such as bacon and corn. > >>A.S.S. Would be an unmoderated group. > >>Comments welcome. Flames directed to /dev/null. > >I feel this group would fill a very large need of the readers of > >the meta group Alt.stupidity. Of late there has been so much traffic > >that sorting out the subgroup of messages pertaining Spatch, Bob Vila, > >Flapjacks butt and bacon would be of advantage for both the persons > >reading the aforementioned posts and those more interested in other > >subjects. > >I strongly recommend the creation of this group with the smallest > >possible delay. Alt.stupidity.spatch would enrich the culture of > >the Usenet and bring help and merriment to many people. > > I believe alt.stupidity.spatch could serve a great need to the regular > readers of alt.stupidity, in that we could likely avoid the annoying > cross-posts from those who think it's funny to have "alt.stupidity" in > the Newsgroups: line. I feel alt.stupidity.spatch would more > accurately capture the true spirit of what alt.stupidity is supposed > to be about. I agree totally with the sentiments here. Of course, I've accomplished much the same thing by setting my kill-file to kill all cross-posted articles (except those posted by regular stupidians). But alt.stupidity.spatch would be cool. Let's do it! cagey -- who accidently killfiled himself once -- new .sig will appear on alt.stupidity.spatch
In article <4e6356$2i4@cloner3.netcom.com> jnafz@ix.netcom.com (Jason Nafziger) writes: > > I believe alt.stupidity.spatch could serve a great need to the regular > readers of alt.stupidity, in that we could likely avoid the annoying > cross-posts from those who think it's funny to have "alt.stupidity" in > the Newsgroups: line. I feel alt.stupidity.spatch would more > accurately capture the true spirit of what alt.stupidity is supposed > to be about. > Okay, regardless of whether this is a serious discussion, I'm going to treat it as if it were. I for one would be sad to see us all leave alt.stupidity behind. C'mon! What would happen if the Waltons moved to Waltons' Mountain West or something? Also, I don't really approve of the idea of alt.stupidity.spatch anyway. Why should any one of us be the "star" of this newsfroup. And if one of us were, why not me? Ha ha. Seriously, y'know the BBC suggested that Monty Python call their show John Cleese's Flying Circus, but they didn't want people to think anyone of them was more important than any other. This froup isn't just about Spatch. It's about all of us. and bacon I realize that the crossposts are a problem, but I would much sooner have alt.stupidity become a loosely moderated newsfroup (though I'm not in love with that idea either) than have us all move. flapjack-who is reminded of New Coke -- Flapjack's back, and he brought an improved .sig quote. "We (??) forty-five to them four, you know, and the hours went back five-to-five, (??), therefore."--Bo Something probably isn't working at: http://openweb.vassar.edu/students/nosmith/nosmith.html
<In article <4e123t$525@vassun.vassar.edu> nosmith@vassar.edu (Flapjack) writes: < In article <4dkngq$2i3$3@mhadf.production.compuserve.com> < Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: < > This worries me. < > < > Who gave birth to it? < > < > Is it an accident from .44's party last spring? < > < > Does anybody want to take responsibility for it, or should < > we let it run feral? < I say we spam Usenet with a post called NEWSGROUP LOVERS PLEASE READ < flapjack-who think's that oughtta get results That's an idea. Or we could spam the net with a post called "Make Bacon Fast", that would start out like this: "Hi, my name is Craig Shergold. A few years ago I was really hungry and there wasn't anything in the house to eat but old, dried out flapjacks..." a"posting to alt.stupidity.spatula, even though I can't read it"t
nosmith@vassar.edu (Flapjack) writ: >In article <DLIunw.Irs@news.zippo.com> >spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) writes: >> >> >> - spatch, who was away after getting a tooth pulled, but did anyone notice? >> of course not. and now you get to gaze at my blood-clotted tooth hole - >> >Well geez, happy freakin' birthday, huh? Yeah, I hadda eat pudding cake, too. >flapjack-who now has a moribid desire to know which tooth THE ONE IN MY MOUTH! DUH! Actually, it's the one that had worn down all the way down to the nerve. It hurted until it got pulled-ed. And it was, fun, too. six shots of novocaine and lotsa keen dribbly things. -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and the fourth Chilly-Down "CALLING ALL GOPHERS: Come on along and listen to the Lullabye of Broadway. Then you can go home. " - Roz Chast Please to check out: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
In article <4e6vba$rf2$1@mhade.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: >..the hands of a brain surgeon. >--Bill But alas! because of your methods you don't have the heads of many, as I do. *MM
On 25 Jan 1996 20:45:55 GMT, Neil Fowler <ab608@freenet.hamilton.on.ca> wrote: > I got myself a clue book. Only wish I had a clue how to use it. [ ] cagey -- you're welcome -- there will be lots of [ ]'s in my new .sig
nosmith@vassar.edu (Flapjack) writ: >In article <idc-1901962213220001@192.1.128.1> >idc@hic.net (Chuck Davies) writes: >> Plastic sucks >That's right, ladies and gentlemen, Butt-head is The Graduate '96. "Hey, Mrs. Robinson, huh huh, are you gonna, you know, do it with me?" >flapjack-who'd like to see that I bet you would. -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and the fourth Chilly-Down "CALLING ALL GOPHERS: Come on along and listen to the Lullabye of Broadway. Then you can go home. " - Roz Chast Please to check out: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
Flapjack (nosmith@vassar.edu) wrote: : In article <4e365o$e0p@ixnews7.ix.netcom.com> : jnafz@ix.netcom.com (Jason Nafziger) writes: : > > +-------------+-------------+-------------+ : > > | Bill W. | Ross G. | Magnus M. | : > > +-------------+-------------+-------------+ : > > | Flapjack | tv's Spatch | Nosy | : > > +-------------+-------------+-------------+ : > > | Jason N. | Anti JN | Bob Vila | : > > +-------------+-------------+-------------+ : > : > >(dah dah dah dah dah dah...) : > : > <song snipped> : > : > As proud as I am to be the Cindy of the family, I'm a bit afraid that : > we'll all be hearing Flapjack running around going "Bill Wilkinson, : > Bill Wilkinson, Bill Wilkinson!" all the time now... : Well, I do that anyway. . . I have a hard time telling one clone from : another. I have a bit of a problem here....I don't have hair of gold. Do I have to resign now? : Hey! Remember that time where Bob found that Mouth Figurine in Hawaii : and it caused all sorts of bad luck. A wall hanging almost killed : Nosy, then a tarantula snuck into my bag, then Spatch told us he threw : his back out hula dancing. Not as good as the time when we all were held captive in a ghost town by Mr. Howle and Anti JN figured out to reach the keys by putting together his sword and my SOCK!s and Bill's clones and Flapjack's butt and Spatch's nickels and Magnus's other sword, and Nafziger's........um, well nothing from Jason, but Nosy's left over crackers, and Bob's beard. : No wonder. I've never heard of doing a hula horizontally before. You could've had a much better time in Hawaii. : > : > (And how ironic that he was rejected for Greg again...) : > : I'll be reveng'd on the whole pack of you. : flapjack-whom Ross can't sock, seeing as Shakespeare is in the public : domain True, but what the hell? SOCK! Ross--who sometimes breaks the rules, but that's just the kind of thing that keeps people buying the Captain Plgrsm books, t shirts, and name tags; he's a dark brooding superhero, just like Peter Falk.
jnafz@ix.netcom.con (Jason Nafziger) wrote: :Looky, looky, dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) sez: :>In some bacon article sdc@teleport.com () stated: :>>I would like to start... :>I feel this group... :I believe alt.stupidity.spatch could... I believe that women's breasts should not be called... --Bill (stupidly awaiting an Irish stand down with Ross) -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Ate my VCR. ===================================================== "Oh, to be in England now that April's there" --RB My opinions are not those of my employer. =====================================================
nosmith@vassar.edu (Flapjack) writ: >In article <4e6356$2i4@cloner3.netcom.com> >jnafz@ix.netcom.com (Jason Nafziger) writes: >> >> I believe alt.stupidity.spatch could serve a great need to the regular >> readers of alt.stupidity, in that we could likely avoid the annoying >> cross-posts from those who think it's funny to have "alt.stupidity" in >> the Newsgroups: line. I feel alt.stupidity.spatch would more >> accurately capture the true spirit of what alt.stupidity is supposed >> to be about. >> >Okay, regardless of whether this is a serious discussion, I'm going to >treat it as if it were. I for one would be sad to see us all leave >alt.stupidity behind. C'mon! What would happen if the Waltons moved >to Waltons' Mountain West or something? Also, I don't really approve >of the idea of alt.stupidity.spatch anyway. Why should any one of us >be the "star" of this newsfroup. And if one of us were, why not me? >Ha ha. Seriously, y'know the BBC suggested that Monty Python call >their show John Cleese's Flying Circus, but they didn't want people to >think anyone of them was more important than any other. This froup >isn't just about Spatch. It's about all of us. I think this is all just being funny and wonky and stuff, rilly. a.s.s (HAR!) is just jokey, rilly, and I never wanted it to be a substitute or alternative to alt.stupidity. >and bacon >I realize that the crossposts are a problem, but I would much sooner >have alt.stupidity become a loosely moderated newsfroup (though I'm not >in love with that idea either) than have us all move. I don't want anybody to move! I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE EAST PINE STREET!! *cries* -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and the fourth Chilly-Down "CALLING ALL GOPHERS: Come on along and listen to the Lullabye of Broadway. Then you can go home. " - Roz Chast Please to check out: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
That new version of ABBA sings: "Awwwhhhuuulllllllll she rillywants isanuthu bleahbluh" What the heck does that MEAN!!!! Is it another one of Chester Karman Ghia's hidden massages, or WHAT?
On 24 Jan 96 17:14:53, Nosy <ataylor@nmsu.edu> wrote: > > That new version of ABBA sings: > > "Awwwhhhuuulllllllll she rillywants isanuthu bleahbluh" > > What the heck does that MEAN!!!! "I've got one hand in my pocket, and the other one is giving a high five" > Is it another one of Chester Karman Ghia's hidden massages, or WHAT? Hmm.. a hidden massage. The possibilites are endless... cagey -- who oughta know -- no alanis in my upcoming .sig
In some bacon article ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) stated: > >That new version of ABBA sings: > >"Awwwhhhuuulllllllll she rillywants isanuthu bleahbluh" Yup, that's exactly what they're singing (is you can call it that) >What the heck does that MEAN!!!! It means: "Hello, I am a stupid Stockholmer and I think I can sing in English." >Is it another one of Chester Karman Ghia's hidden massages, or WHAT? I wouldn't blame this one on Chechter Charma, becasue his hidden messages are soothing and melodic. /^JN - The Anti JN - Compared to inane Swedish pop (Hia Bill) -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
cagey (kegranro@mtu.edu) wrote: : On Wed, 24 Jan 1996 20:01:00 GMT, Jason Nafziger <jnafz@ix.netcom.com> wrote: : > Looky, looky, dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) sez: : > >In some bacon article sdc@teleport.com () stated: : > >>I would like to start an intelligent discussion about the : > >>advantages/disadvantages of starting a new group entitled : > >>alt.stupidity.spatch in which the main topic of discussion would be : > >>Flapjacks butt and other related subjects such as bacon and corn. : > >>A.S.S. Would be an unmoderated group. : > >>Comments welcome. Flames directed to /dev/null. : > >I feel this group would fill a very large need of the readers of : > >the meta group Alt.stupidity. Of late there has been so much traffic : > >that sorting out the subgroup of messages pertaining Spatch, Bob Vila, : > >Flapjacks butt and bacon would be of advantage for both the persons : > >reading the aforementioned posts and those more interested in other : > >subjects. : > >I strongly recommend the creation of this group with the smallest : > >possible delay. Alt.stupidity.spatch would enrich the culture of : > >the Usenet and bring help and merriment to many people. : > : > I believe alt.stupidity.spatch could serve a great need to the regular : > readers of alt.stupidity, in that we could likely avoid the annoying : > cross-posts from those who think it's funny to have "alt.stupidity" in : > the Newsgroups: line. I feel alt.stupidity.spatch would more : > accurately capture the true spirit of what alt.stupidity is supposed : > to be about. : I agree totally with the sentiments here. Of course, I've accomplished much : the same thing by setting my kill-file to kill all cross-posted articles : (except those posted by regular stupidians). But alt.stupidity.spatch would : be cool. Let's do it! I too whole heartedly agree here. Alt.stupidity.spatch would save countless hours of sifting through messages from those who feel that there are challenges to be presented to the denizens of stupidity or as a "punishment" for those whom crossposters consider to be stupid. In fact alt.stupidity should be the poster group of crossposting, and we should no longer have to endure the shackles of having to fill our killfiles simply to converse. To further prove my point I now print the lyrics to the televeision show "The Flinstones" copyright Hana-Barbere circa 1962. Flinstones, meet the Flinstones. They're the modern stone age family. >From the town of Bedrock, they're a page right out of history. Let's ride with the family down the street, through the courtesy of Freds's two feet. Maybe someday Fred will win the fight, then that cat will stay out for the night. When you're with the Flinstones have a yabba-dabba doo time, a dabba doo time, you'll have a gay old time. Ross--who wonders if Jesse Helms is anti-Flinstones.
BLAAAT!!!! --Bill (stand down) -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
I dunno what *it* really is, but every time I turn on the toob, they're talking about "The Stupor Bowl".....well, hell's bells, they musta been reading alt.stoopidititititity, cause it sounds like our cut of cheese!!!! Lots of fermented malt beverages, busty cheerleaders, commercials about fermented malt beverages with busty cheerleaders in them, frogs, commercials with frogs and fermented malt beverages, commercials with frogs, busty cheerleaders, and power sanders.....hehe.....I think I'm gonna like this Stupor Bowl thingie, where's my tool belt? Douglas A. Schultz II Texas Instruments Inc. Insert Std. Disclaimer here()
with apologies to the Mr. Play- a -Day
TWO POSTAL WORKERS EATING LUNCH
Postal Worker#1 :Ever squeeze your nuts so hard that you pass out?
Postal Worker#75:Oh God no that's awful. Have you?
Postal Worker#1: I don't wanna do my laundry today.
Postal Worker#75: Wait...you just asked me if I ever squeezed my nuts so
hard that I passed out, and when I asked you if you have you changed the
subject to your laundry...
Postal Worker#1: I'm sure you're mistaken. Maybe it was someone else.
Postal Worker#75: You're crazy. You just asked..oh never mind... can you
pass the mustard?
Postal Worker#1:(Squeezes nuts so hard he vomits on Postal Worker#75) I'M
A TABLE.....
(Mothra enters spewing deadly fumes into the Earth atmosphere, killing
all, except for Stewart Geen)
Stewart Geen: I'm all alone...everyones dead. I think I'll have some
toast...and build some robots...
****TO BE CONTINUED*******
*******************************************************
" There's a little bit of everyone, that nobody else is like. "
---Paul Degrassi (A friend of mine)
>:Starring: People you will never hear from again. > >Do you mean those people who acted in that great horror >classic by Caesar Salad, "Night of the Living Vila?" No, they eventually went on to do "Vilage of the damned." I think you speak of "Packwood: Hands of Fate." ___________________ Suzanne Schroeder
kegranro@mtu.edu (cagey) generously gave:
:On 25 Jan 1996 20:45:55 GMT, Neil Fowler
:<ab608@freenet.hamilton.on.ca> wrote:
: > I got myself a clue book. Only wish I had a clue how to use
: > it.
:[ ]
Well, there it is. See Spatch's home page for operating
instructions. WAITAMINUTE! That [ ] looks like a surprized
robot smiley!!!
--Bill (thank you)
:cagey -- you're welcome
--Bill (thank you for welcoming me)
:--
:there will be lots of [ ]'s in my new .sig
Please lend me some before Tortess returns.
THANX!!!
--Bill
--
Stoopid people please note: Keylime's smilies and Carmen Miranda
can be found at:
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
It's your decision.
In article <slrn4g8sh5.jos.kegranro@colossus.csl.mtu.edu> kegranro@mtu.edu (cagey) writes: > > that reminds me of a joke that I thought was hilarious when I was a wee > sprout (as opposed to the big weed I know am?) > > There were three people put in a mental hospital because, well, they were > insane. To make sure, though, they put them through a simple test first. > Their dialog went like this: > > Questioner (pointing to arm): What is this? > First patient: A leg? > Questioner: Nope, take him away > First patient is dragged into the hospital kicking and screaming > Questioner (pointing to arm): What is this? > Second patient: A stomach. > Questioner: Not even close. Beat him while you drag him away. > Second patient is dragged into the hospital screaming > Questioner (pointing to arm): What is this? > Third patient: An arm. > Questioner (pointing to leg): What is this? > Third patient: That's easy. It's a leg. > Questioner: Well that's great. You're free to go. Before you do, though, do > you mind telling me how you knew all that? > Third patient (tapping forehead with finger): Kidneys, man, kidneys. > > heehee > > OK, so it's not that funny. It was when I was five, though... > > sheese... no sense of humor Whoah! It's always been a running gag in my family to tap one's head and say "kidneys" after doing something intelligent. Since instances of intelligence are few and far between in my family, it's not a very popular running gag, but regardless. . . Anyway, I had no idea it was a punchline to a joke. . . knock me over with a feather. Hmm, my ex-girlfriend was very fond of that bit. . . hmmm hmmmmm What was I talking about again? flapjack-who, believe it or not, was waiting for a streetcar -- Flapjack's back, and he brought an improved .sig quote. "We (??) forty-five to them four, you know, and the hours went back five-to-five, (??), therefore."--Bo Something probably isn't working at: http://openweb.vassar.edu/students/nosmith/nosmith.html
sdc@teleport.com () wrote:
:My dam battery is dead. I just hate calling in to work and
:telling my boss that my battery - the one that's SUPPOSED to
:start my car - is dead.
:---Steve
Steve, I've struggled over that. But I can't figger it out:
What the hell is a dam battery?
--Bill (who wonders how to categorize the bitch)
--
Stoopid people please note: Keylime's smilies and Carmen Miranda
can be found at:
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
It's your decision.
Scene: A man sitting at a computer. Man: Hmm, my home page is just about finished. Just add these separation graphics... perfect! He stares at the screen. Man: This is great! I have my construction signs, both the sign and the gif of the man working, I have my hot links, I have my e-mail box. And I have these cool separation graphics! What else could I want? What else could I need? Oh yeah... a counter! What else? He stares at the screen. Man: Oh, I know. I need a big old picture of my dog at the top of the page. That will just top it off. Now this site will be the coolest one on the web! I have to start pushing it! I need to promote it though... I need to put it on different What's New lists. What else? Suddenly, a noise occurs above the computer. Noise: Whooooooooo! Whooooooooooo!!! Man: What is that!!!! Noise: I am the Ghost of Web Browsing. I am here to tell you your past, present, and future on the Web... Man: Do I get rich? Noise: Whooooooo! No you do not! Your past is short on the Web....I see a young man, struggling with a WinWeb Browser... looking at dirty pictures...trying to figure out e-mail... Man: Oh, that was last month. Noise: Which brings us to today.... Whooooooo.... I see a small page, placed on the web. It looks like any of a million such pages... Man: It does not!!! Noise: Okay, it looks like no other page, but there's definitely deja vu connected to it. Whooooo.... and now I see the future.... I see a web page, with an Last Updated date of over a year prior, sitting alone and silent, with nary the traveler to visit. Man: Is it me? Oh no... What can I do? What can I do?!?! Noise: You must change your ways, or this future will become your page. You must focus on making your Page for good. You must make your webpage educate the people. It must educate the people about the importance of using the word nary. Man: Nary? Noise: Yes, nary. It is an underused word, near vocabular extinction. You must save this word. Man: I will, Ghost of Web Browsing. I promise! Noise: I must be off. Whoooooooo! The noise disappears. Man: I'm going to call this page Nary, the Word. Have to keep this picture of my dog though. He begins to change the page. Nary, the Word, can be found at http://www.epix.net/~wayne26
ST-fardo@artemis.earth.monash.edu.au (Michael Fardon Honours Student David Lambert End 03-96) wrote:
:Hi all Monash Dogs
:Im in Darwin absorbing the heat!!
:Write to me at i ST-fardo@artemis.earth.monash.edu.au
:--
: ("`-''-/").___..--''"`-._
: `6_ 6 ) `-. ( ).`-.__.`)
: (_Y_.)' ._ ) `._ `. ``-..-' Mike
: _..`--'_..-_/ /--'_.' ,'
: (il).-'' (li).' ((!.-'
Steve, did you actually think that Socrates would be safe
by hiding in alt.smouldering.dog.zone and changing his name?
'
" '
( - '_/"
` \|/ ).___..--''"`-._
6 -POP- 6) `-. ( ).`-.__.`)
_ /|\ ' ._ ) `._ `. ``-..-' Mike
(_ .- - )..-_/ /--'_.' ,'
(i.)`Y' (li).' ((!.-'
l .- .
--Bill
--
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
Decorator snot rag. --Bill -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) waffled: >>Weren't those Drew Barrymore and Debi Mazar's characters in Batman >>Forever? >>flapjack-who is pretty sure he misspelled Ms. Mazar's first name > Yes, Mrs. Tarzan's first name was Jane. >>-- >>Flapjack's back > Since when it's called "back"? Should this go in the FAQ as another 'misspelling' back - butt (not really sure about it) fish - ...maybe ------ new sig. soon awaiting deliveries of inspiration and alcohol, etc... fish@pondlife.demon.co.uk (aka Kev Salmon) "my opinions are probably out of date"
Looky, looky, vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) sez:
>In article <4e7297$2gq@vassun.vassar.edu> nosmith@vassar.edu (Flapjack) writes:
>>In article <DLIrow.F46@news.zippo.com>
>>spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) writes:
>>>
>>> No, Magnus is practicing retroactive decapitation.
>>>
>>> Good one, master of Time and Spice!
>>>
>>Weren't those Drew Barrymore and Debi Mazar's characters in Batman
>>Forever?
>>flapjack-who is pretty sure he misspelled Ms. Mazar's first name
> Yes, Mrs. Tarzan's first name was Jane.
>>--
>>Flapjack's back
> Since when it's called "back"?
Since Sir Mix-a-Lot was knighted...
Jason - who cannot lie...
____________________
"There's a little piece of everyone that no one else likes."
Do not adjust your mom (yet), this is CRAPPY the HOMEPAGE
(for now): http://metro.turnpike.net/C/crapco/index.html
Support alt.stupidity.spatch!
In article <4e6rt0$dor@bolivia.it.earthlink.net> spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) writes: >>flapjack-who now has a moribid desire to know which tooth >THE ONE IN MY MOUTH! DUH! >Actually, it's the one that had worn down all the way down to the nerve. >It hurted until it got pulled-ed. >And it was, fun, too. six shots of novocaine and lotsa keen dribbly things. I like this. Yes, in a miserable way I like this. <shudder> I feel a wide horizon of related preversions opening in my mouth... *MM -- </shudder> -- just to be on the safe side, not knowing VRML.
In article <DLvqqF.7wq@news.zippo.com> spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) writes: > nosmith@vassar.edu (Flapjack) writ: > > > >flapjack-who is sorry for bothering the good folks on the Star Trek > >groups > > Bless you, Flapjack, the Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity. > > You see why this man keeps getting newsgroups named after him? > > - spatch, who has no idea what a Guilt Toad is, but felt if Flapjack's > gonna apologize for bothering all these good Star Trek folks, > we might as well have a departmental title for him somewhere - Hey! I know a good title when I hear one. flapjack-who has resolved, for the new year, to change his .sig almost as often as he changes his socks -- Flapjack: Spatch-declared Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity "You're cheese dumb. You're monkey stupid"--Abe Smith (again) The URL has changed a litle, and the page even less: HTTP://students.vassar.edu/~nosmith/nosmith.html
But, wait, Judge, I don't even OWN a pornograph, so how can I be accused of NO CARRIER
Nosy wrote: : <In article <4e8q63$4to@main.freenet.hamilton.on.ca> ab608@freenet.hamilton.on.ca (Neil Fowler) writes: : <I got myself a clue book. Only wish I had a clue how to use it. : You could ask Colonel Mustard. : I think he's in the Kitchen. : He'd be the one holding the lead pipe.... He can't be. I just saw him in the library with that other woman. But the Professor was in the kitchen. And the place smelled like...bacon. -lil, who's in the desert, waiting for her ship to come in.
trmower@mail.bogo.co.uk (Chris Mower) writ: >You people are stupid. Why the fuck is there a newsgroup called stupidity And Anti JN thought <honk>I</honk> had nothing to do recently... -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and the fourth Chilly-Down "CALLING ALL GOPHERS: Come on along and listen to the Lullabye of Broadway. Then you can go home. " - Roz Chast Please to check out: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
In article <DLvMoF.LJx@news.zippo.com>, tv's Spatch <spatula@retina.net> wrote: >There's an octet stream in this beer? Damn alcoholic MIMEs. -- No, silly...redheads are much cuter than blondes. Why don't you try it again? [http://www.tezcat.com/~wednsday/] - - -- - - -- - [wednesday@tezcat.com]
limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writ: >Flapjack (nosmith@vassar.edu) wrote: >: Hey! Remember that time where Bob found that Mouth Figurine in Hawaii >: and it caused all sorts of bad luck. A wall hanging almost killed >: Nosy, then a tarantula snuck into my bag, then Spatch told us he threw >: his back out hula dancing. >Not as good as the time when we all were held captive in a ghost town by >Mr. Howle and Anti JN figured out to reach the keys by putting together his >sword and my SOCK!s and Bill's clones and Flapjack's butt and Spatch's nickels >and Magnus's other sword, and Nafziger's........um, well nothing from Jason, >but Nosy's left over crackers, and Bob's beard. I liked the time we all went to Six Flags Up Your Butt and Keylime had that big presentation to deliver but his tubes were tied accidentally and he pulled out Jason's pin-up of Yogi Bear stark nekkid and spreadin' em for Boo-Boo, and Nosy and Bill ate all that food and went on the rollercoaster TEN TIMES and then promptly yakked over the couple behind them, and Flapjack watched a magic show where the magician looked surprisingly like Charles Nelson Reilly and then after the show he snuck backstage to look at the magician's hat and the hat began to grow and grow and grow and grow and Flapjack fell in and found himself living in a world populated entirely by hats except for Charles Nelson Reilly and Billy Barty. Oh yeah, and I did the horizontal hula with the girl in the Huckleberry Hound suit. Of course, not IN the Huckleberry Hound suit at the time, lord, no, that would be sacreligious. - spatch, but had she been in the drooper suit, oh my - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and the fourth Chilly-Down "CALLING ALL GOPHERS: Come on along and listen to the Lullabye of Broadway. Then you can go home. " - Roz Chast Please to check out: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
nosmith@vassar.edu (Flapjack) writ: >In article <DLIu0D.HxC@news.zippo.com> >spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) writes: >> lod2@quads.uchicago.edu (john patrick lodder) writ: >> >> >Remember, the bit of fluff is important. You need the bit of fluff. >> >DON"T DROP IT!! >> >> And the junk mail will help you get the Babel Fish! >> >The junk mail! So that's it! >Finally! >I've been stuck on that level for about seven years now. >Honest. >So what, do you throw it in the air so the flying robot takes it >instead of the fish? >flapjack-who actually would like to know Ok, let's see: >remove gown Okay, you're no longer wearing your gown. >put gown on hook The gown is now hanging on the hook, covering a tiny hole. >get satchel Taken. An announcement is coming over the ship's intercom: " [Blithering babble] " >push satchel over drain The drain is too large to be covered by the satchel. [Damn, coulda sworn that was right] >get towel Taken. An announcement is coming over the ship's intercom: " [forget it, I won't transcribe it] " >cover drain with towel The towel completely covers the drain. It is of course well known that careless talk costs lives, but the full scale of the problem is not always appreciated. For instance, at the exact moment you said "push satchel over drain" a freak wormhole opened in the fabric of the space-time continuum and carried your words far back in time across almost infinite reaches of space to a distant galaxy where strange and warlike beings were poised on the brink of frightful interstellar battle. The two opposing leaders were meeting for the last time. A dreadful silence fell across the conference table as the commander of the Vl'Hurgs, resplendent in his black jewelled battle shorts, gazed levelly at the G'Gugvunt leader squatting opposite him in a cloud of green, sweet-smelling steam. As a million sleek and horribly beweaponed star cruisers poised to unleash electric death at his single word of command, the Vl'Hurg challenged his vile enemy to take back what it had said about his mother. The creature stirred in its sickly boiling vapour, and at that very moment the words "push satchel over drain" drifted across the conference table. Unfortunately, in the Vl'Hurg tongue this was the most dreadful insult imaginable, and there was nothing for it but to wage terrible war for centuries. Eventually the error was detected, but over two hundred and fifty thousand worlds, their peoples and cultures perished in the holocaust. You have destroyed most of a small galaxy. Please pick your words with greater care. [Has anybody ever been able to say "I seem to be having tremendous difficulty with my lifestyle" at the right time so as to get the factions to war with those words?] >cover panel with satchel Okay, the satchel is lying on its side in front of the tiny robot panel. >place mail on satchel Okay, the loose pile of junk mail is now sitting on the satchel. >push dispenser button A single babel fish shoots out of the slot. It sails across the room and hits the dressing gown. The fish slides down the sleeve of the gown and falls to the floor, landing on the towel. A split-second later, a tiny cleaning robot whizzes across the floor, grabs the fish, and continues its breakneck pace toward a tiny robot panel at the base of the wall. The robot plows into the satchel, sending the babel fish flying through the air in a graceful arc surrounded by a cloud of junk mail. Another robot flies in and begins madly collecting the cluttered plume of mail. The babel fish continues its flight, landing with a loud "squish" in your ear. [ Phew! Hope this helps. ] - spatch, who'll show you how to pass thru the door to the Infinite Improbability Drive next week - -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and the fourth Chilly-Down "CALLING ALL GOPHERS: Come on along and listen to the Lullabye of Broadway. Then you can go home. " - Roz Chast Please to check out: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writ: ><In article <slrn4g8rti.jos.kegranro@colossus.csl.mtu.edu> kegranro@mtu.edu (cagey) writes: ><On Tue, 23 Jan 1996 04:16:50 GMT, Chester Karma <fts@cris.com> wrote: >< > In article <4du9pf$s3n@nyx10.cs.du.edu>, jdyson@nyx10.cs.du.edu (J.D. Dyson) >< > wrote: >< > >< > > CLUE: This frivolous bitching of yours does _not_ belong on >< > >alt.romance! It belongs on alt.stupidity! >< > >< > No it doesn't! It belongs on alt.stupidity, which is down the hall. >< NoNoNo. It belongs on alt.stupidity, which is on aisle seven > "Cleanup in alt.stupidity on aisle thirteen." Oh, crap, and I'm still on my break. CLEAN IT UP YERSELF, YOU STUPID PA ANNOUNCER PERSON! -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790 and the fourth Chilly-Down "CALLING ALL GOPHERS: Come on along and listen to the Lullabye of Broadway. Then you can go home. " - Roz Chast Please to check out: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
I'm going to boil my potatoes for supper. --Bill -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
In article <4egs88$oeb$1@mhadf.production.compuserve.com>, Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> wrote: >I'm going to boil my potatoes for supper. Why not put them in the microwave instead? Oh yah, don't forget to poke holes in them with a fork, lest the pop. ===================================================== "Oh, to be in England now that April's there" --RB My opinions are not those of my employer. =====================================================
In article <DLvMqw.LqF@news.zippo.com> spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) writes: > limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writ: > > >Flapjack (nosmith@vassar.edu) wrote: > > >: Hey! Remember that time where Bob found that Mouth Figurine in Hawaii > >: and it caused all sorts of bad luck. A wall hanging almost killed > >: Nosy, then a tarantula snuck into my bag, then Spatch told us he threw > >: his back out hula dancing. > > >Not as good as the time when we all were held captive in a ghost town by > >Mr. Howle and Anti JN figured out to reach the keys by putting together his > >sword and my SOCK!s and Bill's clones and Flapjack's butt and Spatch's nickels > >and Magnus's other sword, and Nafziger's........um, well nothing from Jason, > >but Nosy's left over crackers, and Bob's beard. > > I liked the time we all went to Six Flags Up Your Butt and Keylime had that > big presentation to deliver but his tubes were tied accidentally and he pulled > out Jason's pin-up of Yogi Bear stark nekkid and spreadin' em for Boo-Boo, > and Nosy and Bill ate all that food and went on the rollercoaster TEN TIMES > and then promptly yakked over the couple behind them, and Flapjack watched a > magic show where the magician looked surprisingly like Charles Nelson Reilly > and then after the show he snuck backstage to look at the magician's hat and > the hat began to grow and grow and grow and grow and Flapjack fell in and > found himself living in a world populated entirely by hats except for Charles > Nelson Reilly and Billy Barty. > > Oh yeah, and I did the horizontal hula with the girl in the Huckleberry Hound > suit. > > Of course, not IN the Huckleberry Hound suit at the time, lord, no, that would > be sacreligious. I like the time when Bill W. was cast as Juliet in a production of Othello (Nosy and I were playing guards and our lines were "Hark" "Who's been sitting in my chair?"). Of course, Bill got all neurotic about it, until Ross and Anti JN convinced him that he was beautiful, he was romantic, he WAS Juliet. So, of course, Bill go this major superiority complex and started mistreating this major nerd was playing Hamlet opposite him. So they had to replace him with this girl who _he_ had trained to be head cheerleader. The subplot had something to do with Jason and Bob appearing on a game show. Bob had to eat ice cream with his feet and Jason froze in the headlights of an oncoming car. In the epilogue, Spatch had this to say after watching the play: "It was sad when Juliet died. And it was sad when Cleopatra died. And it was really sad when Willy Loman died. But the saddest part of all was when Flapjack said 'Who's been sitting in my chair?' before Nosy said 'Hark!' and she ripped his spleen out." flapjack-who's a little scary, isn't he? -- Flapjack: Spatch-declared Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity "You're cheese dumb. You're monkey stupid"--Abe Smith (again) The URL has changed a litle, and the page even less: HTTP://students.vassar.edu/~nosmith/nosmith.html
<In article <4e9n7e$hmp$1@mhadf.production.compuserve.com Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: <BLAAAT!!!! You can't fool me, that's not in the Bilable!
Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: : cstone@nimitz.mcs.kent.edu (HasNoName) .sigged: : :-Carl M Stone-KENT STATE parks it and locks it,NOT RESPONSIBLE : ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ : One of my clones used to use that .sig until Ross stole it. Look, Bill, once and for all, I don't steal .sigs, I don't even know how to make a .sig file. : --Bill (revealing the darker side of capt. plaijerwhatever.) Hey, it's not like I voted for Reagen or anything. -- here's the disappointing homepage you've heard about: http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
In article <vtkk.v1wki.2030.00ACC2DA@elvi.vtkk.fi> vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) writes: > In article <310d7c34.9731907@news.cris.com> fts@cris.com (Chester Karma) writes: > > >Either you really couldn't find it, or you just tried to confuse the hell out > >of me...... > > Lrc! Naq V yrnir lbh cbaqrevat juvpu bar'f gur gehgu... Oh! Gee Magnus, I used to admire you for your fluency and everything. flapjack-who is barely fluent in English himself -- Flapjack: Spatch-declared Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity "You're cheese dumb. You're monkey stupid"--Abe Smith (again) The URL has changed a litle, and the page even less: HTTP://students.vassar.edu/~nosmith/nosmith.html
In article <DLvqnt.7pp@news.zippo.com> spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) writes: >cstone@nimitz.mcs.kent.edu (HasNoName) writ: >>Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: >>: --Bill (ROCK-afeller, ROCK-afeller, FNORD! FNORD!) >>Geese from the neighbor's back yard! >Boom boom. Bastic bastic. *MM -- hmm... <sniff> smells like... chicken </sniff>.
In article <4edqvu$oq0@bubba.NMSU.Edu> ldale@nmsu.edu (LILIA DALE) writes: >I was looking through my box of stuff and I found my favorite old 8-track >tape with "Knock 3 Times," by Tony Orlando and Dawn, on it. This beats the >45 I have of the Theme Song from the Greatest American Hero. I also found >a brand new key for that pair of rollerskates. Want it? No. I want 20 sets of 11's, one envelope filter, one Octavia, two cry babies, a fuzz face, two Stratocasters, and a Flying Vee, that's what I want. But I'll settle for a crispy bacon sandwich. *MM
In article <310CBA47.7E39B5F0@cd.chalmers.se> Jezebell <jessica@cd.chalmers.se> writes: >> I like this. Yes, in a miserable way I like this. <shudder> I feel a wide >> horizon of related preversions opening in my mouth... >> >Hey, malocclusion fits in here too, nifty. Nary. >--I like you, I'll kill you last. *MM -- who has killed many people for money, but you are his friend, you he'll kill for nothing.
On Thu, 01 Feb 1996 01:35:05 GMT, Chester Karma <fts@cris.com> wrote: > In article <4ent1a$n4s@vassun.vassar.edu>, nosmith@vassar.edu (Flapjack) > wrote: > > >> >But, wait, Judge, I don't even OWN a pornograph, so how can I be accused of > >> >NO CARRIER > >> You have a point there, however I accuse you of autography. > >Hey Julie, have I ever told you about my Uncle Pete who got arrested > >for phonography? > > My Uncle Dave* was once arrested for photography. > > * - Names changed to protect the guilty... not only that, but Dave has a sort > of humorous quality to it. Yeah, but not as humorous as "Bob." Say it a couple of times Bob Bob Bob Bob BOB BOB BOB BOBBOBBOBBOBBOBBOBBOB B O B BOB B-O-B Heehee Not only is it cool sounding, but it's a spoonerism! cagey -- the stupidian formerly known as Bob -- no bob's in my new .sig
In article <DLxH9D.8vK@cunews.carleton.ca>
jjohnst3@chat.carleton.ca (Jeremy Johnston) writes:
> From: jjohnst3@chat.carleton.ca (Jeremy Johnston)
> Subject: What the hell?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>
> This is a really stupid and pointless newsgroup.
Well, stupid, no duh. But pointless? I counted sixteen in your
Subject: line alone.
flapjack-who knows this joke has been used before, but this shmoe is
abviosly a novice
--
Flapjack: Spatch-declared Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity
"You're cheese dumb. You're monkey stupid"--Abe Smith (again)
The URL has changed a litle, and the page even less:
HTTP://students.vassar.edu/~nosmith/nosmith.html
On 31 Jan 1996 19:50:12 GMT, Flapjack <nosmith@vassar.edu> wrote: > In article <4ek89o$ii2@nuscc.nus.sg> > matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg (Brett McInnes) writes: > > > Why not? > > Because,frankly, I'm the Guilt Toad aorund here, and I don't like > nobody infringing on my territory. So let me get this straight. You're the "Guilt Toad" and Ross is a "Big Frog" Hmm... Hmmmmmmmm..... HMMMMMMMMMM... cagey -- who's overwhelmed by the possiblities! -- no Toads or Frogs in my upcoming .sig
In article <4eou1a$fu3@news.bu.edu> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: > Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: > > : --Bill (who promises he'll get over this joke sooner than > : ross did over that di-whatever thingy) > > Not the di-whatever thingy, the di-water thingy. > > Because, and this is the funny part, y'see, because they're talking about > water, but they talk about it with a fancy scientific name...and then they > try to make it sound--oh man, this is too funny--they try to make it sound > like it's all dangerous because it sounds fancy and scientific, but it's > really just water. Well, up here in Poughkeepsie, we just went through a lovely period where the water was dangerous and infected and stuff and we had to boil it for two minutes before drinking it. Of course, some of us got sick anyway. . . > > Bwahahahahahahahhaahahahahahahahah. > > Man, that is just darned funny. > You wouldn't think so if you'd gone through as many Kleenex and cough drops as I have in the past week. > Ross--who can't get over. flapjack-who had better get over it -- Flapjack: Spatch-declared Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity "You're cheese dumb. You're monkey stupid"--Abe Smith (again) The URL has changed a litle, and the page even less: HTTP://students.vassar.edu/~nosmith/nosmith.html
Flapjack (nosmith@vassar.edu) wrote: : In article <DLvMoz.LLs@news.zippo.com> : spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) writes: : > Well, if you had gone down to watch the taping of Baywatch: Ha-wuh-ee : > Nights with me, you mighta found someone, too. : > Hey, at least you've got many Germans jealous of you. : Well, I was busy just then making a very lovely lanyard. : > Sheesh, some vacation. : > : Speak for yourself. I've got my keychain needs covered well into the : next century. : flapjack-who is just creating a whole little world, isn't he? That's a lotta lotta lanyard. Ross--who went to Syracuse in order to um....and while he was there he er.... um......well there was a bunch of stuff going on, and it was all realy fun kinda like the time he......no, wait, that's someone else.
kegranro@mtu.edu (cagey) wrote: :On 30 Jan 1996 01:54:22 GMT, Bill Wilkinson :<70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> wrote: </70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> : > spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) wrote: : > :trmower@mail.bogo.co.uk (Chris Mower) writ: : > :>You people are stupid. Why the fuck is there a newsgroup : > :>called stupidity : > :And Anti JN thought <honk>I</honk> had nothing to do : > :recently... : > Okay. So far we've got: <honk>honk</honk> and : > <gasp>gasp</gasp>. : > What other tags/elements should we specify for StupeScape : > (tm)? :<sock></sock> :<pop></pop> :<mulch></mulch> :cagey -- </cagey> ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ That last one will result in undefined behavior. On some systems it's been known to generate: su (root password); cd \; rm -rf * --Bill <hth> -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
papa legba (keithg@boi.hp.com) wrote: : Nosy (ataylor@nmsu.edu) wrote: : : That new version of ABBA sings: : : "Awwwhhhuuulllllllll she rillywants isanuthu bleahbluh" : : What the heck does that MEAN!!!! : "All she really wants is another bleach bath" Sure, but say what you want about them....she saw the sign. No really she saw the sign, she saw it, the sign, she saw the sign, she saw the sign...the sign the sign the sign, and it did stuff she saw the sign she saw the sign she saw the sign. Ross--who hasn't made fun of that song for a little
tv's Spatch (spatula@retina.net) wrote: : ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writ: : ><In article <slrn4g8rti.jos.kegranro@colossus.csl.mtu.edu> kegranro@mtu.edu (cagey) writes: : ><On Tue, 23 Jan 1996 04:16:50 GMT, Chester Karma <fts@cris.com> wrote: : >< > In article <4du9pf$s3n@nyx10.cs.du.edu>, jdyson@nyx10.cs.du.edu (J.D. Dyson) : >< > wrote: : >< > : >< > > CLUE: This frivolous bitching of yours does _not_ belong on : >< > >alt.romance! It belongs on alt.stupidity! : >< > : >< > No it doesn't! It belongs on alt.stupidity, which is down the hall. : >< NoNoNo. It belongs on alt.stupidity, which is on aisle seven : > "Cleanup in alt.stupidity on aisle thirteen." : Oh, crap, and I'm still on my break. : CLEAN IT UP YERSELF, YOU STUPID PA ANNOUNCER PERSON! "Hey, I've put in my time, and now I'm the PA announcer person. Heh heh. I can remember when I used to be a lowly peon like you are, but now I'm the one with all the power. Hey, watch this. Cashier #12...do the chicken dance. See? I'm omnipotent! I'm more powerful than the Lawnmower Man, and I'll get someone with a better career than Matt Freuer to star in my sequel no matter how underrated he is. Mwahahahahaha.....now, I believe there's a little matter of a cleanup?" Ross--who doesn't often catch a god on break.
nosmith@vassar.edu <Flapjack></Flapjack> wrote: :In article <vtkk.v1wki.2030.00ACC2DA@elvi.vtkk.fi> :vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) writes: :> In article <310d7c34.9731907@news.cris.com> fts@cris.com :> (Chester Karma) writes: :> :> >Either you really couldn't find it, or you just tried to :> >confuse the hell out of me...... :> :> Lrc! Naq V yrnir lbh cbaqrevat juvpu bar'f gur gehgu... :Oh! Gee Magnus, I used to admire you for your fluency and :everything. Didn't you know that Magnus is fluent in the artificial languages invented by Tolkien? I've been told that, freely translated, the above is how an Orc would say, "pass the bacon, please." But I could be wrong. --Bill -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
jmckeon@interserf.net (John McKeon) writ: >FirstName LastName <userid@psu.edu> wrote: >>I like pictures of children eating feces. Is that so wrong? >Well that depends...it is OK if they are doing it in church, but doing it while >watching the Power Rangers is just plain wrong. That's cause the Power Rangers can look out and see everybody watching them, and if they saw that they might leap out of the television set and go "That's a Power Ranger no-no!" and then sodomize a cat. I seen it. -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #43790. "I'm Idaho!" "Uh, the actors are improvising?! AAAAAAAGH!! AAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!" "Keen, it's got Bump-And-Go Action, just like my mom." They're charging for crap service soon: http://uptown.turnpike.net/S/spatula
In article <310F6494.1492DAA5@cd.chalmers.se> Jezebell <jessica@cd.chalmers.se> writes: >Magnus Mulqvist wrote: >> >Hey, malocclusion fits in here too, nifty. >> >> Nary. >> >> >--I like you, I'll kill you last. >> >> *MM -- >For the blueberry is your friend, and thou shalt eat nary a >Swedish meatball, and thou shalt not touch the lowly >potato, but thou must eat greatly of the fishstick, yea the >fishstick. >Speak softly and carry a fishstick. OK, I carry a fishshtick, a tushshtup, three golf ballsh and a twinkie. What should I do with the dwarf that lurksh in the corner with hish axhe? *MM
In article <ATAYLOR.96Jan30175323@gauss.nmsu.edu> ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writes: ><In article <DLvpon.5Bn@news.zippo.com> spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) writes:><nosmith@vassar.edu (Flapjack) writ: ><>In article <DLIv03.JAn@news.zippo.com> ><>spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) writes: ><>> agent@netcom.com (Billy D) writ: ><>> ><>> > THere's a Pole who lives a life of danger ><>> > Gittin' shot at hasn't been a stranger ><>> > Everywhere he goes, Everybody knows, ><>> > Odds are he won't live to see the Rapture. ><>> ><>> > Secret VatiCan ><>> > Secret Popish Man ><>> > They've given you a Nom De Plume ><>> > and taken 'way yore Name. ><>> > ><>> > Encyclicals that trash the Female Body. ><>> > Philosophy at best could be called "shoddy". ><>> > Millennia come and go, ><>> > As everyone should know, ><>> > Won't be surprised if you don't see tomorrow. ><>> ><>> Vatican Man, ><>> Vatican Man. ><>> Does whatever a Pontiff can ><>> Is he a living manifestation of the Divine itself? It's not important ><>> Vatican Man. ><>> ><>He's a real Vatican Man ><>Living in the Vatican ><>Blessing all his holy hands ><>Can cross. ><Boy he thinks he is all that ><>Just because he wears that hat ><>Vatican Man, can you do the can can? > <Backup singers start first....> > Pope, Pope, Pope, > Pope of Rome > Pope, Pope, > Pope of Rome, > Pope, Pope, > Pope of Rome.. > <They keep on doing this as the lead tenor picks up> > As I, walk 'round Saint Peter's dome, > Nothing can stop, the Pope of Rome > Yes, I, I wear a hat just like a cone > 'Cause I'm the Pope, the Pope of Rome... Is he alive or dead? I see thoughts within his head. We're just passing near, why should he even care? Now the time is here for Vatican Man to spread fear. Vengeance from the grave kills the people he once saved. Nobody wants him, they just turn their heads. Nobody helps him, now he has his revenge. Having boots of lead all his victims full of dread are running as fast as they can: Vatican Man lives again! *MM /bs
In some bacon article spatula@retina.net stated: >ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writ: >>That new version of ABBA sings: >>"Awwwhhhuuulllllllll she rillywants isanuthu bleahbluh" >>What the heck does that MEAN!!!! >>Is it another one of Chester Karman Ghia's hidden massages, or WHAT? > >No, it means "Please let us have at least three best-selling albums before we >fade out into nothingness. Thank you for the music." > >Of course, it's so fucking poetic when it's in its native Svedish. What? It is? I must have completely missed that. All I noticed was the sickening tendency to keep on playing the "song" after I was tired of it. (Which was after about 20 seconds when I first heard it) /^JN - The Anti JN - I can't stand Aj så Bajs (Ouch such shit) -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
Flapjack (nosmith@vassar.edu) wrote: : In article <310E721D.45BA3467@the.fi> : Heikki Reinikainen <Heikki.Reinikainen@the.fi> writes: : > Jezebell wrote: : > > --I like you, I'll kill you last. : > : > My name is Pedro and I kill for money, but because your are my friend : > I kill you for nothing. :) : Okay, Ross, I'll open your sock drawer for you. Do your stuff. : flapjack-who does not take a Marx ripoff lightly Now, I didn't recognize that, but thank you dear Flapjakc, a Marx poliana ragurism is worse than and Abe Smith latched on to your "--," and so feisty companion, I must request now that you get out of the way while I barrage this offender with a deluge of socks that will have him calling for his mommy in the middle of the night for weeks to come, Pedro indeed. Now, Flapjack, duck now! sock. Wait a minute, that was supposed to be more. Duck again, good chum. sock, What's this? Has our caped captain gotten socked out of socks? Have Bill's clones finally infiltrated his secret lair and filled the socks with stolen Firesign Theatre lines? Could this be the end of our hero? Tune in tomorrow, same Big Frog time, same Big Frog newsfroup. Ross--who is apparently to be continued.
cagey (kegranro@mtu.edu) wrote: : On 31 Jan 1996 19:50:12 GMT, Flapjack <nosmith@vassar.edu> wrote: : > In article <4ek89o$ii2@nuscc.nus.sg> : > matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg (Brett McInnes) writes: : > : > > Why not? : > : > Because,frankly, I'm the Guilt Toad aorund here, and I don't like : > nobody infringing on my territory. : So let me get this straight. You're the "Guilt Toad" and Ross is a "Big : Frog" Hmm... : Hmmmmmmmm..... : HMMMMMMMMMM... : cagey -- who's overwhelmed by the possiblities! : -- : no Toads or Frogs in my upcoming .sig Hey, don't blame me, I've been a Big Frog for far far longer than Flapjack has been this so called Guilt Toad. Anyways, it's all Spatch's fault, and I suggest you bring the matter to him. He's cleaning up on aisle 13. Ross--who's working to make it all just one long thread....the longest ever, hah!, wait, I just misspelled Har!
In article <4eofum$93u@news.bu.edu> limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: > Flapjack (nosmith@vassar.edu) wrote: > : As some of you may have heard, a professor at my school has discovered > : a poem which, it seems, was probably written by Shakespeare. > > You think that in all this time someone would've thought to turn the page. Apparently they were stuck together. You see, there was a dirty picture on the one page. . . > > No, really? That's very cool. > Well, except that professor Foster has a ccquired a great deal of fame >from this and he's taken to wearing ascots and dark glasses. Plus a whole gaggle of nubile Shakespeare groupies follow him around everywhere, I don't even want to talk about the Colonel. Yesterday we had a CBS news crew in the classroom (THIS IS TRUE) and last night, I vomited for the first time in three years. Coincidence? I think not. > : Well, I was inspired by him to try to find one as well. I found one > : that I was sure was the work of the bard. > > I heard he wrote the early years section of the Hitler diaries. > Chapter 1: I Discover I Don't Like Zweibeck and Have my Nanny Beaten. > : Then I realized that Shakespeare probably wouldn't have known anything > : about a man from Nantucket. > > Unless it were a first draft from the Tempest. > "O brave new mouth that has such a huge. . ." Naaaaaah! > : flapjack-who at least tried > > and convicted! Mazel Tov! > Well, send me a bacon sandwich with a file in it. > : -- > : Flapjack: Spatch-declared Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity > > I don't remember that. > Don't worry, I'm not encroaching on your Big Frog territory. Ribit! Whoops! Hiccup, honest! > : "You're cheese dumb. You're monkey stupid"--Abe Smith (again) > > Oh no, Flapjack, there's an Abe Smith (again) on your "--" It MUTATED!!! No Ross, that's a poodle trimmed to look like an Abe Smith! > > Duck! Not a duck! A poodle! > > > SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! > Fluffy! Speak to me! > > Ross--who would've socked more, but it didn't say "Reah!" How could it? You've broken all it's teeth! flapjack-who wonders if this will become the first realy long, really annoying Ross and Flapjack thread of '96 -- Flapjack: Spatch-declared Big Frog^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H Guilt Toad of alt.stupidity "You're cheese dumb. You're monkey stupid"-- Certainly not Abe Smith The URL has changed a litle, and the page even less: HTTP://students.vassar.edu/~nosmith/nosmith.html
Nosy (ataylor@nmsu.edu) wrote: : <In article <4ek89o$ii2@nuscc.nus.sg> matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg (Brett McInnes) writes: : <Why not? : The gilded age is over, the robber barons are gone, the guild : toads are history. Long live the Big Frogs. Ross--I'm a Big Frog
In article <cegan-0302961131480001@dialup-2-41.d.umn.edu> cegan@d.umd.edu (Skatergirl) writes:
>==============================================================================
>
> Dear [ ] Sir, [ ] AOLer, [ ]
>Crybaby, [ ] Spammer,
> [ ] Ma'm, [ ] Pervert, [ ]
>Loudmouth, [X] Bore,
> [ ] Kid, [ ] Vegan, [X]
>Clueless, [ ] Genius,
> [X] Troll, [ ] Idiot, [ ] Webster,
>----------------------------------------------------------
>\|/ ___ \|/
> @~/ , . \~@ A proud supporter of Crusty the Clown's Telethon
>/_( \__/ )_\ for motion sickness
> \__U_/
>----------------------------------------------------------
Obviously you have no [ ]. Therefore,
_ _ _><_ __
\ \__'_/ |
@\ /@
/|\ ; /|\
,
*MM
In article <ATAYLOR.96Feb1101433@gauss.nmsu.edu> ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writes:
><In article <4empgs$rc3$1@mhafn.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson
><70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes:
>< kegranro@mtu.edu (cagey) wrote:
>< :On 30 Jan 1996 01:54:22 GMT, Bill Wilkinson
>< :<70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> wrote: </70325.1137@CompuServe.COM>
>< : > spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) wrote:
>< : > :trmower@mail.bogo.co.uk (Chris Mower) writ:
>< : > :>You people are stupid. Why the fuck is there a newsgroup
>< : > :>called stupidity
>< : > :And Anti JN thought <honk>I</honk> had nothing to do
>< : > :recently...
>< : > Okay. So far we've got: <honk>honk</honk> and
>< : > <gasp>gasp</gasp>.
>< : > What other tags/elements should we specify for StupeScape
>< : > (tm)?
>< :<sock></sock>
>< :<pop></pop>
>< :<mulch></mulch>
>< :cagey -- </cagey>
>< ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
>< That last one will result in undefined behavior. On some
>< systems it's been known to generate:
>< su (root password); cd \; rm -rf *
> So what's the problem?
Well, actually, it's
find / -exec /bin/rm -f {} \; -print
*MM -- who suggests you don't try this at home, at least yours.
jessica@haddock.cd.chalmers.se (Jessica Twitchell) wrote: :You could lure him out with the twinkie, and then throw the :golf ballsh at him, and when he ish dishtracted yoou can :shteal hish axhe. Is that some kind of spell to neutralize Magnus' Fragarach or Anti-JN's ASCII sword? Thnik of the terrible consequences before you cast it! FLUFFIES and BAUGS will overrun altdotstoopididity!!! :--I like you, I'll kill you last. Thanks. --Bill -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
In article <4f1g5o$a9o$2@mhade.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: >From: Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> >Subject: Re: Blueberries. >Date: 4 Feb 1996 05:28:24 GMT >jessica@haddock.cd.chalmers.se (Jessica Twitchell) wrote: >:You could lure him out with the twinkie, and then throw the >:golf ballsh at him, and when he ish dishtracted yoou can >:shteal hish axhe. >Is that some kind of spell to neutralize Magnus' Fragarach >or Anti-JN's ASCII sword? >Thnik of the terrible consequences before you cast it! >FLUFFIES and BAUGS will overrun altdotstoopididity!!! >:--I like you, I'll kill you last. >Thanks. >--Bill I'm shaking (not stirring)! *MM
vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) wrote: :jessica@haddock.cd.chalmers.se (Jessica Twitchell) wrote: :>:--I like you, I'll kill you last. :>Thanks. :>--Bill :I'm shaking (not stirring)! :*MM The music builds up. A barrel's-eye view of the pistol zero's in on the target walking in from the right side of the screen. Suddenly the figure whips around and fires! Scarlet flows down from the top of the screen. Heavy guitar music picks up. Then... --Bill (james bo^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hbill wilkinson) -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) wrote: :In article <31146F1B.3021@wolfenet.com> Mikel Potts :<mikelp@wolfenet.com> writes: :>cagey wrote: :>> > Okay. So far we've got: <honk>honk</honk> and :>> ><gasp>gasp</gasp>. :>> > :>> > What other tags/elements should we specify for StupeScape :>> > (tm)? :>> :>> <sock></sock> :>> <pop></pop> :>> <mulch></mulch> :>> cagey -- </cagey> :><light bulb> Wait! I've got some </light bulb> :><heavy bulb> I'm in it! </heavy bulb> :><bulbul> Chirp </bulbul> <chop>Butt-Ugly ASCII Graphic</chop> --Bill -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writ: ><In article <4empgs$rc3$1@mhafn.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: >< kegranro@mtu.edu (cagey) wrote: >< :On 30 Jan 1996 01:54:22 GMT, Bill Wilkinson >< :<70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> wrote: </70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> >< : > spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) wrote: >< : > :trmower@mail.bogo.co.uk (Chris Mower) writ: >< : > :>You people are stupid. Why the fuck is there a newsgroup >< : > :>called stupidity >< : > :And Anti JN thought <honk>I</honk> had nothing to do >< : > :recently... >< : > Okay. So far we've got: <honk>honk</honk> and >< : > <gasp>gasp</gasp>. >< : > What other tags/elements should we specify for StupeScape >< : > (tm)? >< :<sock></sock> >< :<pop></pop> >< :<mulch></mulch> >< :cagey -- </cagey> >< ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ >< That last one will result in undefined behavior. On some >< systems it's been known to generate: >< su (root password); cd \; rm -rf * > So what's the problem? Nothing, as long as we con Marc Andreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeessen to beta-test for us. Here are a few new tags: <moo>This text moos.</moo> <meow>meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow</meow> &abe; will give you a "--" &sock; will automatically sock anyone who tries to steal your HTML (keen for sekrit stuff, too!) <irishspring>This text is as clean as a whistle.</irishspring> <bill>Huh?</bill> -- "It was sad when Juliet died. And it was sad when Cleopatra died. And it was really sad when Willy Loman died. But the saddest part of all was when Flapjack said 'Who's been sitting in my chair?' before Nosy said 'Hark!' and she ripped his spleen out." | MSTie #43790 & th' new Bob Ross
lod2@quads.uchicago.edu (john patrick lodder) writ: >any closer it wouldn't be dancing. Once you leave the gymnasium you can't come back into the dance! - spatch, whose school dances were always held in the cafeteria - -- "It was sad when Juliet died. And it was sad when Cleopatra died. And it was really sad when Willy Loman died. But the saddest part of all was when Flapjack said 'Who's been sitting in my chair?' before Nosy said 'Hark!' and she ripped his spleen out." | MSTie #43790 & th' new Bob Ross
In article <vtkk.v1wki.2054.00D4B157@elvi.vtkk.fi> vtkk.v1wki@elvi.vtkk.fi (Magnus Mulqvist) writes: > In article <4f2meh$5pm@news1.sprynet.com> <alex13@sprynet.com> writes: > > > hi :) > > Pop? > > Is it you? > > *MM > \|/ -POP- Hi! /|\ Y'see, cause Magnus said "pop" and. . . Never mind. Please don't sock me Ross. flapjack-who is almost out of underpants, but has plenty of socks -- Flapjack: Author of "Pet Newbie to Guilt Toad: My Story" "Are you sure you're not confusing Sir Mix-a-lot with Norman Fell?"--John McKeon I had been misspelling the word "little" in this line for a whole week: HTTP://students.vassar.edu/~nosmith/nosmith.html
In article <4f5aqm$57h@ixnews4.ix.netcom.com> jnafz@ix.netcom.com (Jason Nafziger) writes: > Looky, looky, nosmith@vassar.edu (Flapjack) sez: > > >flapjack-who worries about these things > > You wanna talk about worries, Toad-boy? This Saturday, a cousin of > mine on my father's side is marrying a cousin of mine on my mother's > side. WHERE DO I SIT???????? On pretty shaky genetic ground, if you ask me. > > And to make my family seem even more bizarre than they already do, the > EXACT SAME THING happens again in August. > They're getting married again? Who's your cousin? Liz Taylor? flapjack-who has noticed that our .sig quotes have gotten very incestuous too -- Flapjack: Author of "Pet Newbie to Guilt Toad: My Story" "Are you sure you're not confusing Sir Mix-a-lot with Norman Fell?"--John McKeon I had been misspelling the word "little" in this line for a whole week: HTTP://students.vassar.edu/~nosmith/nosmith.html
nosmith@vassar.edu (Flapjack) wrote:
:In article <4f5aqm$57h@ixnews4.ix.netcom.com>
:jnafz@ix.netcom.com (Jason Nafziger) writes:
:> Looky, looky, nosmith@vassar.edu (Flapjack) sez:
:>
:> >flapjack-who worries about these things
:>
:> You wanna talk about worries, Toad-boy? This Saturday, a cousin of
:> mine on my father's side is marrying a cousin of mine on my mother's
:> side. WHERE DO I SIT????????
On the other side of the room.
:On pretty shaky genetic ground, if you ask me.
That too.
On second thought, one of my sisters once married this Polish guy
>from Chicago and then his brother married one of my other sisters.
I never could figger out that relationship.
Then one of them tried to set me up with THEIR sister, but her husband
threatened to shoot me.
:> And to make my family seem even more bizarre than they already do, the
:> EXACT SAME THING happens again in August.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
:They're getting married again? Who's your cousin? Liz Taylor?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
No. And yes. Jason's marrying Liz Taylor.
--Bill
--
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
In article <4evvh4$40l$3@mhade.production.compuserve.com> SteveR <100571.2162@CompuServe.COM> writes: >Life is butter ... >Life is butter, melon ... >Life is butter, melon, cauliflower ... When life is good I am so well. When life is bad I just don't care. *MM /bo
Arghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Damn that Rolf. I've been working on his assignment for tomorrow for 8 bours straight, and with only 4 hours of sleep last night. Not to mention that I started the dratted day with trigonometry recap. And no food since 12:30. I'm hungry. /^JN - The Anti JN - I'll try to catch a rabbit on the way home. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
On 6 Feb 1996 21:39:09 GMT, Ross Garmil <limrag@bu.edu> wrote:
> Flapjack (nosmith@vassar.edu) wrote:
> : In article <4f5l8t$itb@sundial.sundial.net>
> : Friday@drag.net writes:
>
> : > A BABBLEFISH, proves the existance of God, but then disproves it,
> : > because god won't prove his/her existance to man, so therefore he/she
> : > can't really be god.
> : >
>
> : Ross?
>
> Hey, man, I can't be called upon to recognize every Douglas Adams quote, can
> I? Besides, I'm busy trying to find this whole cliffhanger thing.
>
> Get Cagey to do it.
>
Oh sure. Take all the glamorous socks and leave the piddly ones to me!
<sigh>
Such is the life of a trusty sidekick.
duck
$$$$$$ $$$$$$ $$$$$ $$$$ $$$$$$$$
$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$
$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$
$$$$ $$$ $$$$$ $$$$$ $$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$
$$$$$ $ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$ $$$$$$$$ $$$$
$$$$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$$$$$ $$$$
$$$$$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$$$$$$ $$$$
$$$$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$$$$$$ $$
$ $$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$ $$$$$ $$$$ $$
$$$ $$$$ $$$$$ $$$$$ $$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$
$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$
$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$ $$$$ $$$$$ $$
$$$$$ $$$$$$ $$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$
There... that should do it.
> : "Are you sure you're not confusing Sir Mix-a-lot with Norman
> : Fell?"--John McKeon
>
> No "Abe Smith" to see hear, move along.
Reah! Er.. I mean Yeah.
cagey -- who's definitely getting better with his socks
--
<sock>new .sig coming soon</sock>
In article <DMA95u.FL@news.zippo.com>, spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) wrote: >mpemberton@boeing.hq.nasa.gov (Michael) writ: > >>ALL MATTER IS A CYCLE OF >>BIRTH, LIFE, then DEATH >>NOTHING IS RANDOM >>AS NOTHING IS FOREVER. > >and bacon. > "I remember the months of May, in the dull humdrum of the officers' mess, when the first ripe cherries would be fresh of the bough. And we would be pleasantly diverted by questions, such as: Would we all like some cherries? However it became virtually a point of tradition hearing that innocent query rather more lusciously worded: Would we like some Gerries? How about some Gerries? At this -- and blushing almost openly -- the officers would proceed to rape the waitresses, in full view, and then afterwards shoot them dead on the spot." Yes... they don't make music like they used to, and the Gerries don't taste like they used to anymore. Pass the foeta salad please. *MM
Jezebell <jessica@cd.chalmers.se> writ: >Magnus Mulqvist wrote: >>> >> >I open the door for my sweetheart, and he opens >> >the door for me as well. >> >> What do you do next? >> >> *MM >Welllll, first we close the door behind us. And then, the hand-to-hand combat. -- "It was sad when Juliet died. And it was sad when Cleopatra died. And it was really sad when Willy Loman died. But the saddest part of all was when Flapjack said 'Who's been sitting in my chair?' before Nosy said 'Hark!' and she ripped his spleen out." | MSTie #43790 & th' new Bob Ross
Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote:
: limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmill) wrote:
: :Flapjack (nosmith@vassar.edu) wrote:
: :: In article <310E721D.45BA3467@the.fi>
: :: Heikki Reinikainen <Heikki.Reinikainen@the.fi> writes:
: :: Okay, Ross, I'll open your sock drawer for you. Do your stuff.
: :Now, Flapjack, duck now!
: : sock.
One darned sock down...
: :Wait a minute, that was supposed to be more.
: :Duck again, good chum.
: : sock,
Two darned socks down...
: :Have Bill's clones finally infiltrated his secret lair and filled the
: :socks with stolen Firesign Theatre lines?
: BWAA HA! HA! HA! cough! Ha! ha. cough, hack...
A villain appears
: :Could this be the end of our hero?
: He's no fun, he fell over...
A hero fallen?
: :Tune in tomorrow, same Big Frog time, same Big Frog newsfroup.
: :Ross--who is apparently to be continued.
: Waitaminute! Put down that pickle!!!
: --Bill (i'll tell you tomorrow)
You fiend...if only I could.....can't reach....utilitygerism.....there.
Now all I have to do is pour this super sock stiffening sock starch onto
my feet...luckily I have conditioned my toes to pull and hurl my own socks
for just such an emergency. Must...aim....and there.
pickle
a down!!!
: Wait
SOCK!!!!
that
Put minute!
There, "pickle a down!! Wait that Put minute!" nothing like anything
I have ever heard before. Certainly it may be strange and should be
destroyed, but that's for Bill's good clones to do.
Flapjack, the thread is now safe for you, and don't worry what Bill
stole from, for as sure as he's Bill it was stolen, and thus
must be socked, as must all misbegotten quotes. Otherwise how can
we trust society to prosper? Goodbye, dear Flapjack, and Spatch
bless you.
Ross--who probably should've gone all the way and written actual
dialogue, but whatever.
Bill Wilkinson wrote: > :I'm shaking (not stirring)! > > :*MM > > The music builds up. A barrel's-eye view of the pistol > zero's in on the target walking in from the right side of > the screen. Suddenly the figure whips around and fires! > Scarlet flows down from the top of the screen. Heavy > guitar music picks up. Then... That wasn't Magnus I killed, he's going last. The same goes for you, Bub...er Bill. (I've got to figure out a really clever and interesting way to kill all the people I like, last...else I'll have been lying all these years...alas) --I like you, I'll kill you last.
: ,;;;;;, : ,;;;;;;;;, : ;;;'O__O_; : ;;;(\\\\\; : `/'((||||| : ___< )))|||| : ,' \__(((||), : | \ _)))))))\,_
limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writ: >tv's Spatch (spatula@retina.net) wrote: >: ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writ: >: > "Cleanup in alt.stupidity on aisle thirteen." >: Oh, crap, and I'm still on my break. >: CLEAN IT UP YERSELF, YOU STUPID PA ANNOUNCER PERSON! >"Hey, I've put in my time, and now I'm the PA announcer person. Heh heh. I >can remember when I used to be a lowly peon like you are, but now I'm the one >with all the power. Hey, watch this. Cashier #12...do the chicken dance. >See? I'm omnipotent! I'm more powerful than the Lawnmower Man, and I'll >get someone with a better career than Matt Freuer to star in my sequel no >matter how underrated he is. Mwahahahahaha.....now, I believe there's a >little matter of a cleanup?" Notice now appearing on the Big Y Company Propaganda Board(tm), I have no idea how this got there, nor is my printer still warm, but: "ATTENTION: Any employee using the PA system for shout-outs will be terminated, effective immediately." >Ross--who doesn't often catch a god on break. Wait, didn't you ever watch Highlander 2? I was dozing when they made that and I'm still really sorry about the whole thing. "Herb, cleanup on aisle 4." "We were never IN aisle 4." -- "It was sad when Juliet died. And it was sad when Cleopatra died. And it was really sad when Willy Loman died. But the saddest part of all was when Flapjack said 'Who's been sitting in my chair?' before Nosy said 'Hark!' and she ripped his spleen out." | MSTie #43790 & th' new Bob Ross
cagey (kegranro@mtu.edu) wrote: : On 6 Feb 1996 21:39:09 GMT, Ross Garmil <limrag@bu.edu> wrote: : > Flapjack (nosmith@vassar.edu) wrote: : > : In article <4f5l8t$itb@sundial.sundial.net> : > : Friday@drag.net writes: : > Get Cagey to do it. : > : Oh sure. Take all the glamorous socks and leave the piddly ones to me! : <sigh> : Such is the life of a trusty sidekick. : duck Whoa : $$$$$$ $$$$$$ $$$$$ $$$$ $$$$$$$$ : $$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ : $$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ : $$$$ $$$ $$$$$ $$$$$ $$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ : $$$$$ $ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$ $$$$$$$$ $$$$ : $$$$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$$$$$ $$$$ : $$$$$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$$$$$$ $$$$ : $$$$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$$$$$$ $$ : $ $$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$ $$$$$ $$$$ $$ : $$$ $$$$ $$$$$ $$$$$ $$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$$$ : $$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$ : $$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$ $$$$ $$$$$ $$ : $$$$$ $$$$$$ $$$$$ $$$$ $$$$ $$ Wow, that was....I mean, that was something, I mean "oooh aaaah" and all. Boy, am I glad you're on my side. : There... that should do it. Indeed! Let's all hear it for my sock-kick! Har! : > : "Are you sure you're not confusing Sir Mix-a-lot with Norman : > : Fell?"--John McKeon : > : > No "Abe Smith" to see hear, move along. : Reah! Er.. I mean Yeah. : cagey -- who's definitely getting better with his socks Tell me about it. Man, if I every have an um...starch problem again you'll be the first one I call. Ross--who's proud, and yet feels somehow slightly insignificant.
the Hamburglar writ: >clavis@ix.netcom.com (the Grand Clavister ) writes: >>A man climbed to the top of a mountain, on which sat a great >>thinker. >>"Oh, great thinker," said the man, "I have come to you seeking >>answers." >>"I have no answers, "responded the thinker, "for I have no >>questions." >>Said the man, "But _I_ have questions for you!" >>"Do not burden me with your questions," said the thinker, "or I >>shall fall off this mountain!" >>"I have come a great distance to see you!" said the man. >>"Where did your journey begin?" asked the thinker. >>And the man tumbled down the side of the mountain. >Am I missing something here? Where the hell is the part about the >Taco Bell manager calling security regarding the three dollar bill? "BUT THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A $3 BILL!" -- "It was sad when Juliet died. And it was sad when Cleopatra died. And it was really sad when Willy Loman died. But the saddest part of all was when Flapjack said 'Who's been sitting in my chair?' before Nosy said 'Hark!' and she ripped his spleen out." | MSTie #43790 & th' new Bob Ross
Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote: : jmf@visi.com (Joe Fisbain) wrote: : :Here is a question that has been bugging me and a fellow : :fire-head for almost a quarter century. : :On the "Dear Friends" album, there is an exchange that goes : :like: : :"Did you ever get into bear-baiting?" : : :"No, man, I..." : :"I could never get my socks off!" : :What the heck does that mean? : Strange. A superhero in another newsfroup is having a : similar identity problem... : --Bill Hey, that's personal. Why you...why I....why you sock; Oh no, not again. Ross--who gets nervous in front of other newsfroups, okay?
toast@mindspring.com (Spacetoast) writ: >It's a good day to husk a goat. And the day is not over yet. - spatch, i love klingon quotes - -- "It was sad when Juliet died. And it was sad when Cleopatra died. And it was really sad when Willy Loman died. But the saddest part of all was when Flapjack said 'Who's been sitting in my chair?' before Nosy said 'Hark!' and she ripped his spleen out." | MSTie #43790 & th' new Bob Ross
spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) wrote:
:timyow@cencom.net (timyow) writ:
:>HE OBVIOUSLY IS
:A GOURMET DUDE
:BUT HIS BEARD IS GETTING
:IN HIS FOOD
:BURMA-SHAVE
Do you stay awake late into the night just thinking up
these things?
--Bill
--
Visit
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1
It's a waste of time, but not a pointless waste.
So the wife, Mama Legba, rearranges the bedroom furniture so the bed is under the window and over the heat vent. Then she turns off the vent because the bed gets too hot, and puts an electric blanket on the bed because it gets too cold. And now every night she turns on the electric blanket and opens the window. When I, Papa Legba, get home in the morning, the room is cold, my side of the bed is cold (she doesn't turn on the electric blanket on my side because the bed "gets too hot"), and it's at least 20 degrees colder than it was when she went to bed the night before. Of course she fails to notice that because she's buried under the covers and has that electric blanket keeping her old bones toasty warm, and was in bed before she opened the window in the first place. So now every morning I go home, close the window, chip the ice off my pillow, and try to get to sleep before the sun comes up and pours through that window that's now right over our bed. I'm only telling this story as a public service. I figure if other married men read this and realize how important it is for us to compromise, to be fair in our dealings with our wives, that we will all be better off for it, and that our marriages, and ultimately mankind, will benefit. -papacoolbreeze
ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writ: ><In article <4e9hpo$4ft$3@mhafc.production.compuserve.com> Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: ><jnafz@ix.netcom.con (Jason Nafziger) wrote: ><:Looky, looky, dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) sez: ><:>In some bacon article sdc@teleport.com () stated: ><:>>I would like to start... ><:>I feel this group... ><:I believe alt.stupidity.spatch could... ><I believe that women's breasts should not be called... > I bleeve I'll hava nutha cuppa coffeeeee. I b'lve I'll hava nother piece o' pie. ><--Bill (stupidly awaiting an Irish stand down with Ross) > Howcome Bill gets all the Irish coffeeee, huh? He grows his own. Lil' green coffeebeans running around saying things like "The kids'll never catch me lucky charms!" - spatch, making horrid jokes at the expense of the irish community, forgive him, in fact, buy me a guinness and i'll apologize right nicely - -- "It was sad when Juliet died. And it was sad when Cleopatra died. And it was really sad when Willy Loman died. But the saddest part of all was when Flapjack said 'Who's been sitting in my chair?' before Nosy said 'Hark!' and she ripped his spleen out." | MSTie #43790 & th' new Bob Ross
Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writ: >kegranro@mtu.edu (cagey) wrote: >:On 5 Feb 1996 20:29:36 GMT, Flapjack <nosmith@vassar.edu> wrote: >: > But it involves Abe. . . >:YES YES YES!!!! Tell us more!! >: > Anybody having second thoughts. . .? >: > >: > Actually, the more that I think about, it, isn't so much a story as it >: > is an Art Linkletter-esque "kids say the darndest things" kind of >: > thing. >:Even better. >:cagey -- who loves abe stories >Okay...I sorry. Please tell us the story. >--Bill (who didn't mean to hurt flapjack's feelings) I've got a good Abe story. Once I was talking on the phone to Flapjack and Abe kept talking on the other extension so to shut him up I said "Abe, anvil falls on head." This'd usually shut Abe up until he decided he had to get the anvil off so he kept saying "Take it off." And I'd say "No" and try to keep talking to Flapjack and Abe just started shrieking "TAKE IT OFF! TAKE IT OFF! TAKE IT OFF!" until we finally had to stop the conversation and hang up. Thirty seconds later the phone rings. "Take it off." I hang up. The phone rings again. "Take it off." I hang up again. Whadya know (not much, you?) the phone rings again. And again. And again. So I pick up. No, it's not the President. It's Abe. "Take it off." Hang up the phone. It rings again. "Take it off." I suppose I don't have to tell you that this lasted for the better part of the afternoon, even after a clever and sneaky ruse in which I taped the "We're sorry, this call cannot be completed" message and played it back every time Abe called. Finally I believe I gave up and, in exasperation, I said "Ok, Abe, okay, you win, the anvil's off." Whereupon he immediately replies "Put my brains back in." This really happened, as Flapjack can prolly attest to. - spatch, who had to put abe's brains back in, sew his head up and give him a lollypop or something - -- "It was sad when Juliet died. And it was sad when Cleopatra died. And it was really sad when Willy Loman died. But the saddest part of all was when Flapjack said 'Who's been sitting in my chair?' before Nosy said 'Hark!' and she ripped his spleen out." | MSTie #43790 & th' new Bob Ross
In article <slrn4hd0t1.jrf.kegranro@onion.csl.mtu.edu> kegranro@mtu.edu (cagey) writes: > On 5 Feb 1996 20:29:36 GMT, Flapjack <nosmith@vassar.edu> wrote: > > In article <4f1dc5$a9o$1@mhade.production.compuserve.com> > > Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> writes: > > > > > nosmith@vassar.com (Flapjack) wrote: > > > > > > :In article <ATAYLOR.96Jan31213916@gauss.nmsu.edu> > > > :ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writes: > > > :> <In article <slrn4gl0eu.abf.kegranro@colossus.csl.mtu.edu> > > > :> kegranro@mtu.edu (cagey) writes: > > > :> > > > :> <*HUH?*> Is it another one of Chester Karman Ghia's hidden > > > :> <massages, or WHAT? > > > :> > > > :> < Hmm.. a hidden massage. The possibilites are endless... > > > :> > > > > > > :We'll be right back after these sausages. > > > > > > :flapjack-who has a really cute story behind that > > > > > > So tell us....On second thought, don't. > > > > But it involves Abe. . . > > YES YES YES!!!! Tell us more!! > Really. . .well, it'll probably seem dissapointing after all this buildup. > > Anybody having second thoughts. . .? > > > > Actually, the more that I think about, it, isn't so much a story as it > > is an Art Linkletter-esque "kids say the darndest things" kind of > > thing. > > Even better. > If you insist. > cagey -- who loves abe stories Okay, you asked for it. When Abe was a kid he thought that, on TV, the announcers were saying "we'll be right back after these sausages." Um. . .that's it. flapjack-who hopes that wasn't anticlimactic -- Flapjack: Author of "Pet Newbie to Guilt Toad: My Story" "Are you sure you're not confusing Sir Mix-a-lot with Norman Fell?"--John McKeon I had been misspelling the word "little" in this line for a whole week: HTTP://students.vassar.edu/~nosmith/nosmith.html
dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Jesper Nilsson) writ: >In some bacon article spatula@retina.net stated: >>No, it means "Please let us have at least three best-selling albums before we >>fade out into nothingness. Thank you for the music." >> >>Of course, it's so fucking poetic when it's in its native Svedish. >What? It is? I must have completely missed that. One can only assume and, perhaps, even hope. >All I noticed was the sickening tendency to keep on playing >the "song" after I was tired of it. >(Which was after about 20 seconds when I first heard it) Well, to use a line, appropriately-credited, from der Spin Doctors, the Steve Miller Band of the early 90's, "If you play this song for hours, your head will blow up." >/^JN - The Anti JN - I can't stand Aj så Bajs (Ouch such shit) Izzat how it's pronounced? "Ouch such shit"? I can SEE it's clearly very fucking poetic in its native Swedelander. -- "It was sad when Juliet died. And it was sad when Cleopatra died. And it was really sad when Willy Loman died. But the saddest part of all was when Flapjack said 'Who's been sitting in my chair?' before Nosy said 'Hark!' and she ripped his spleen out." | MSTie #43790 & th' new Bob Ross
kostath@aurora.eexi.gr (kostas stathopoulos) writ: >test YOU FAILED! YOU BROKE THE INTERNET!! -- "It was sad when Juliet died. And it was sad when Cleopatra died. And it was really sad when Willy Loman died. But the saddest part of all was when Flapjack said 'Who's been sitting in my chair?' before Nosy said 'Hark!' and she ripped his spleen out." | MSTie #43790 & th' new Bob Ross
tv's Spatch wrote: > > jessica@haddock.cd.chalmers.se (Jessica Twitchell) writ: > > >You could lure him out with the twinkie, and then throw the > >golf ballsh at him, and when he ish dishtracted yoou can > >shteal hish axhe. > > Hee hee, jerzerbel's way-sted. Man, I gotta stop drinkin' with these Swedes...... --I like you, I'll kill you last.
formerly known as Death wishes to be known as Ed. "I want to be anonymous now, and no one can compete with Uriel for coolest name, so it's Ed for me." ===================================================== "Oh, to be in England now that April's there" --RB My opinions are not those of my employer. =====================================================
On accounta the flood an all. ---Steve
<In article <JESSICA.96Feb5011539@haddock.cd.chalmers.se> jessica@haddock.cd.chalmers.se (Jessica Twitchell) writes: <I am not Burmese, I am Swiss... YOU can't fooool us, .se isn't Switzerland it's Sweden, and we know the difference between Swiss and Swedes, one is blonde and the other is, uh, not quite so blonde, and one country is neutral, while the other country is, uh, neutral. Ok, so we're not so sure about Switzerland and Sweden being different....
<In article <JESSICA.96Feb5011539@haddock.cd.chalmers.se> jessica@haddock.cd.chalmers.se (Jessica Twitchell) writes: <I am not Burmese, I am Swiss... YOU can't fooool us, .se isn't Switzerland it's Sweden, and we know the difference between Swiss and Swedes, one is blonde and the other is, uh, not quite so blonde, and one country is neutral, while the other country is, uh, neutral. Ok, so we're not so sure about Switzerland and Sweden being different....
In some bacon article nosmith@vassar.edu (Flapjack) stated: >In article <slrn4hd0t1.jrf.kegranro@onion.csl.mtu.edu> >kegranro@mtu.edu (cagey) writes: >> cagey -- who loves abe stories > >Okay, you asked for it. > >When Abe was a kid he thought that, on TV, the announcers were saying >"we'll be right back after these sausages." Yeah... So...? >Um. . .that's it. What? I don't get this... ...Waitaminnit! You mean they're _not_ saying "we'll be right back after these sausages."??? I've thought that all my life! Boy, do I feel stupid. >flapjack-who hopes that wasn't anticlimactic Hey, you've changed my whole outlook on the world! /^JN - The Anti JN - Who's going to contemplate on this new information. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
In some bacon article spatula@retina.net stated: >dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Jesper Nilsson) writ: >>In some bacon article spatula@retina.net stated: >>>No, it means "Please let us have at least three best-selling albums before we >>>fade out into nothingness. Thank you for the music." >>> >>>Of course, it's so fucking poetic when it's in its native Svedish. > >>What? It is? I must have completely missed that. > >One can only assume and, perhaps, even hope. Yeah, well, Sweden is a strange country. Hey, some Swedes even like Michael Jackson. There's all kind of people in Sweden too. >>All I noticed was the sickening tendency to keep on playing >>the "song" after I was tired of it. >>(Which was after about 20 seconds when I first heard it) > >Well, to use a line, appropriately-credited, from der Spin Doctors, the Steve >Miller Band of the early 90's, "If you play this song for hours, your head >will blow up." Except you have to exchange hours to minutes. >>/^JN - The Anti JN - I can't stand Aj så Bajs (Ouch such shit) > >Izzat how it's pronounced? "Ouch such shit"? I can SEE it's clearly very >fucking poetic in its native Swedelander. No, not funking poetic, just scatological so. /^JN - The Anti JN - That is: Shitty poetry. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
My Teflon(tm) pan began to peel last night, so I had a Teflon(tm) and cheese omellette for dinner. It was really pretty yummy! I'm gonna have it again! john. ===================================================== "Oh, to be in England now that April's there" --RB My opinions are not those of my employer. =====================================================
<In article <DMAAu4.4Ao@news.zippo.com> spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) writes: <limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writ: <>Nosy (ataylor@nmsu.edu) wrote: <>: <In article <4ek89o$ii2@nuscc.nus.sg> matmcinn@leonis.nus.sg (Brett McInnes) writes: <>: <Why not? <>: The gilded age is over, the robber barons are gone, the guild <>: toads are history. <>Long live the Big Frogs. <It is the dawn of the frog age of man, and ... oh, bugger. Here, lemme try. "When the frog, is in the Seventh Hole, And Spatulaaaaa aligns with Mars, Then Magnus will guide the plaa-nets, And Baaaacon will coat the stars! This is the Dawning of the Age of Aquarium! Age of Aquarium! Aquariiiiuummm....Aquariiiummmm!"
Anti JN wrote: > > Arghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! > v> Damn that Rolf. v> v> I've been working on his assignment for tomorrow for 8 bours v> straight, and with only 4 hours of sleep last night. v> Not to mention that I started the dratted day with trigonometry recap. v> And no food since 12:30. I'm hungry. v> v> /^JN - The Anti JN - I'll try to catch a rabbit on the way home. v> -- Hmmm... Anti JN isn't quite as stoopid as he claims. Just look at the Subject: It's got 9 syllabe...silable...of those sound things. __ ______ ____ __ _____ | || |\ \ \ \/ \\ __ \New Sig currently in beta | \/ |/ /\ \/ /\ /\ \\ _|Stdrd disclaimer applies \ / | || || || || || |adam.jewell@mts.dbo.dec.com \/ |_||_||_||__||_||_|Chief Designer of the ANY key
bediger@csn.net (Bruce Ediger) writ: >tjames@netcom.com (Tjames Madison) wrote: >:BLUE! No, I mean GRAPE! >: >:WHATEVER COLORS ARE IN OTTER POPS, THAT'S WHAT. >Jesus Christ, I love Otter Pops. They kick Flav-O-Ice's ass. I like how the little green Otter Pop on the box is saying "Don't do drugs!" Just imagine it. You're stoned off your keister, sitting around feeling your eyeballs move veeeeeeery slowly, developing the origins of the Cartesian Coordinate system by staring at the cracks in your ceiling, and then you think, hey, what could make this high better? FUCK YEAH! OTTER POPS! (actually, being stoned, you probably wouldn't say FUCK YEAH!, just say "yeah" and giggle your way through it.) So off you go to the kitchen, a long slow-motion walk to the freezer, opening it up and - damn, it's cold in a freezer. Look, there's stuff in the freezer been there so long, they've frozen. Maybe that's why it's called a freezer, you think, as you then contemplate writing the routine down and sending it to Jerry Seinfeld, it's THAT FUNNY. So you grab the box of Otter Pops and casually glancing at the side of the box, you see the lil green one (Sir Lime Newton, isn't he?) gleefully exhorting you to "Don't do drugs!" HOLY SHIT!! THE GREEN OTTER SAYS I SHOULDN'T BE DOING DRUGS!! Instantly! In a flash! Your whole life changes. You will yourself out of the high (ack, painful) and from then on it's clean living for you, better to enjoy the happy taste of Otter Pops. You write the Otter Pop company a letter telling them how they helped clean you up and how grateful you are to them, a signed testimonial included, but you never hear from them again. Eventually you're back on smack and nitrous balloons, but that's a different story. - spatch, who wishes the inside lid of boxes of cherry clan didn't change to the anti-drug warning and stayed at "candy is delicious food, eat some every day" - -- "It was sad when Juliet died. And it was sad when Cleopatra died. And it was really sad when Willy Loman died. But the saddest part of all was when Flapjack said 'Who's been sitting in my chair?' before Nosy said 'Hark!' and she ripped his spleen out." | MSTie #43790 & th' new Bob Ross
mike.brady@bhabbs.com (MIKE BRADY) writ: > ====----------------- Tue 01-30-1996 ------------------- >I would very much appreciate a subscription to your "Cooking >Newsletter". Please send details or even better a copy. HOW TU COOK THE STUPID WAY!! Recipes included in this month's newsletter ROSS GARMIL'S "BIG FROG" GINGER SNAPS MAGNUS MULVQIST IN A WHITE WINE SAUCE FLAPJACK'S FLAPJACKS (well, duh) BRISKET A LA NOSY BILL WILKINSON'S OWN(tm) CLONECAKE TORTESS SOUP CHESTER KARMA SORBET (this just sounds cool) and more bacon sandwiches than you can shake a stick at. >Thanks.... > +-----------+ > | **Brady** | > +-----------+ Oh no, not again... -- "It was sad when Juliet died. And it was sad when Cleopatra died. And it was really sad when Willy Loman died. But the saddest part of all was when Flapjack said 'Who's been sitting in my chair?' before Nosy said 'Hark!' and she ripped his spleen out." | MSTie #43790 & th' new Bob Ross
ymca69@bathhouse.crisco.org (Crisis? What Crisis?) writ: >In article <DMHqBy.GBq@news.zippo.com>, Switch Hitter wrote: >> In article <4es0td$nbf@decaxp.harvard.edu>, staloff@scws45.harvard.edu says... >> > >> >Y'all have no idea how thrilled I am that this inane bit of crossposting >> >became a real thread. My faith in humanity is restored. >> > >> >Meow meow meow. >> > >> >Mark >> >> Inane in the membrane! >> Inane in the brain! >> Inane in the membrane! >> Membrane! Membrane! >In the Navy, >you can sail the seven seas! >In the Navy, >you can hit on cute Marines! Young man! There's no need to be down! I said, young man! Turn that frown upside down! I mean, really! Turn off that 'Tears of a Clown' There's no need - to - be - so - smart-like! Lung man! Do you like what you see? Hey there, Jung-man! It's like psychology! I said, dungheap! Will that be fight or flee? I'll show you where - to - post - just like me! (GRONK GRONK GRONK GRONK GRONK) It's fun to post in alt. STOO-PID-IT-Y It's fun to post in alt. STOO-PID-IT-Y, whee! They have everything for you dolts to enjoy! It's even fun for the goys! alt.STOO-PID-IT-Y You can break out in alt. STOO-PID-IT-Y, whee. Young man! Young man! Young man! Young man! Young man! Young man! Young man! Young man! (repeat ad infinitum until you realize the damn record's skipping) THE PRECEDING WAS A PAID ADVERTISEMENT FROM ALT.STUPIDITY ENTERPRISES, IN CONJUNCTION WITH THE VILLAGE PEOPLE, FOR NO APPARENT REASON WHATSOEVER. GO BACK TO YOUR NORMAL BUSINESS NOW, CITIZENS. THERE IS NOTHING MORE TO SEE. GRONK. -- "It was sad when Juliet died. And it was sad when Cleopatra died. And it was really sad when Willy Loman died. But the saddest part of all was when Flapjack said 'Who's been sitting in my chair?' before Nosy said 'Hark!' and she ripped his spleen out." | MSTie #43790 & th' new Bob Ross
tv's Spatch wrote: > > Jezebell <jessica@cd.chalmers.se> writ: > > >Bill Wilkinson wrote: > >> :I'm shaking (not stirring)! > > You can kill -everybody- last, Jerzerbeller, just wait until the last minute > and then nuke the world. > > It'll be FUN! > Wellllll, maybe. But I gotta kill my old roommate first, cuz I really don't like him at all and I don't want to give him the satisfaction of thinking that I like him enough to be included in the 'killing last' bit so I'll have to off him before then. --Jezebell who enjoyed Flapjack's runon sentences so much she had to try one too...it's not as good though. <afterthought>I could pay the were-mutt a lot of money to kill him for me...yeah!</afterthought> Or maybe that was a <revelation></revelation> Oh well, who knows... --I like you, I'll kill you last.
In some bacon article Vamp <adam.jewell@mts.dbo.dec.com> stated: >Anti JN wrote: >> >> Arghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! >> Damn that Rolf. >> >> I've been working on his assignment for tomorrow for 8 bours >> straight, and with only 4 hours of sleep last night. >> Not to mention that I started the dratted day with trigonometry recap. >> And no food since 12:30. I'm hungry. >> >> /^JN - The Anti JN - I'll try to catch a rabbit on the way home. > >Hmmm... Anti JN isn't quite as stoopid as he claims. >Just look at the Subject: It's got 9 syllabe...silable...of those sound things. Hey, chill out Vamp, I just copied the title of the damn book... /^JN - The Anti JN - And actually, they're called sillybells. -- ######## <A HREF="http://www.df.lth.se/~jesper/"> Anti homepage! </A> ######## # The Anti-JN smirks! Time to bail out! Lord Jester of Antioc # # Jesper Nilsson -- dat92jni@ludat.lth.se || jesper@df.lth.se # ############## I've heard of UNIseX, but I've never had it. ################
tv's Spatch wrote: > > <anonymous@cleo.bc.edu> writ: > > >We Stupid American can't even keep our government open running !!!!!!!!!!!! > >We American are retarded animals !!!!!!!!! > > He right! We not use plural or rightly space! > We make sound like VCR manual! > You not say truth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We need use more exklamashun marks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then we be smart like Others!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! --I like you, I'll kill you last.
<In article <4f3kso$jub@delphi.bc.edu> <anonymous@cleo.bc.edu> writes: <We Stupid American can't even keep our government open running !!!!!!!!!!!! Huh? Dammit, Cagey, did you forget to put batteries in the government again? Or did Tortess swipe them for her own nefarious purposes? <We American are retarded animals !!!!!!!!! I'm not. retarded. animal.
dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) wrote:
:In some bacon article Vamp <adam.jewell@mts.dbo.dec.com> stated:
:>Hmmm... Anti JN isn't quite as stoopid as he claims.
:>Just look at the Subject: It's got 9 syllabe...silable...of
:>those sound things.
:Hey, chill out Vamp, I just copied the title of the damn book...
:/^JN - The Anti JN - And actually, they're called sillybells.
Hey! That aint no dam book! That's a crissmass song! Besides,
it's six months outta date! It's once again that time of year
to celebrate Groundhog Day--the alt.stupidity international
holiday!
--Bill ("bacon roasting over an open fire...")
--
http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1 now has
an indirect pointer to the Not Page.
<In article <4f8cjr$k3u@news.lth.se> dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Anti JN) writes: <Arghhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Huh? <Damn that Rolf. Hey, he's one of the funnier Muppets! <I've been working on his assignment for tomorrow for 8 bours <straight, and with only 4 hours of sleep last night. 8 bours straight? Dang, I can't think after only 3 bars. <Not to mention that I started the dratted day with trigonometry recap. "The answer lies in trigonometry" ----Sherlock Holmes. <And no food since 12:30. Is that the metric 12:30, or the English/American standard 12:30? <I'm hungry. I'm nosy. Pleased ta meetcha. </^JN - The Anti JN - I'll try to catch a rabbit on the way home. If it's a white one in a top hat that's late, mebbe best to let it go.
<In article <4ev5hp$fn3@merkurius.lu.se> dat92jni@ludat.lth.se (Jesper Nilsson) writes: <In some bacon article spatula@retina.net stated: <>ataylor@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writ: <>>That new version of ABBA sings: <>>"Awwwhhhuuulllllllll she rillywants isanuthu bleahbluh" <>>What the heck does that MEAN!!!! <>Or is it another one of Chester Karman Ghia's hidden massages, or WHAT? <> <>No, it means "Please let us have at least three best-selling albums before we <>fade out into nothingness. Thank you for the music." <> <>Of course, it's so fucking poetic when it's in its native Svedish. <What? It is? I must have completely missed that. You Swedes sure need glasses a lot, or a better set of sights. <All I noticed was the sickening tendency to keep on playing <the "song" after I was tired of it. Y'mean like this:? "The song this is the song that is the song it is the song it's a beautiful life it's a beautiful life that is the song...." Sorta like that? <(Which was after about 20 seconds when I first heard it) Such patience... < /^JN - The Anti JN - I can't stand Aj så Bajs (Ouch such shit) Whoooooaaaaa! AntiJN's startin' ta post in Finnish, watchout!
In article <4fob07$6uh@freenet.vcu.edu> Phil Ford <pford@cabell.vcu.edu> writes: >Guess I better redo this damn belt. REDO FROM START Say, how's cabbage this season? >cabbage: at a new job and hating it. Oh. *MM
ezitello@cis.ysu.edu (Emory Zitello) wrote: :My name is Emory and here is a piece of advice: like my aunt :Margaret used to say: if you don't have anything stupid to :say, don't say anything at all. What did she mean by that? --Bill -- http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1 now has an indirect pointer to the Not Page.
Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote:
: jessica@haddock.cd.chalmers.se (Jessica Twitchell) wrote:
: :You could lure him out with the twinkie, and then throw the
: :golf ballsh at him, and when he ish dishtracted yoou can
: :shteal hish axhe.
: Is that some kind of spell to neutralize Magnus' Fragarach
: or Anti-JN's ASCII sword?
: Thnik of the terrible consequences before you cast it!
: FLUFFIES and BAUGS will overrun altdotstoopididity!!!
(Meeyoww)
\ , ,
\ ("\''/").__..--''"'_.
\ __ `9_ 9 ) `_. ( ).`-.__.`)
( Y .)' ._ ) ` `.`'_..-'
_..`--''_..-_/ /--'_.' .'
(il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
In article <4fp0fl$mb2@maureen.teleport.com> sdc@teleport.com () writes:
>From: sdc@teleport.com ()
>Subject: Test Ignore (was: Blueberries.)
>Date: 13 Feb 1996 03:27:48 GMT
>Bill Wilkinson (70325.1137@CompuServe.COM) wrote:
>: jessica@haddock.cd.chalmers.se (Jessica Twitchell) wrote:
>: :You could lure him out with the twinkie, and then throw the
>: :golf ballsh at him, and when he ish dishtracted yoou can
>: :shteal hish axhe.
>: Is that some kind of spell to neutralize Magnus' Fragarach
>: or Anti-JN's ASCII sword?
>: Thnik of the terrible consequences before you cast it!
>: FLUFFIES and BAUGS will overrun altdotstoopididity!!!
>(Meeyoww)
> \ , ,
> \ ("\''/").__..--''"'_.
> \ __ `9_ 9 ) `_. ( ).`-.__.`)
> ( Y .)' ._ ) ` `.`'_..-'
> _..`--''_..-_/ /--'_.' .'
> (il ).-'' ((i).' ((!.-'
Migawd! It haunts me!!
(Urghh.)
\ , ,
\ ("\''/")._ _..--) ( )''"'_.
\ __ `+_ + ) ) ( ) `_) (: ). ( ).`) __.__.`)
( Y .)' .) ( 8 )_ ) ( ) ` _`.`) ()'_..-'
_.. `^-''_..) (,)-_/) /--'_.' .'
(il )) ()-'' () -.' ((!.-'
*MM
In article <DMn2Kv.EBE@news.zippo.com> spatula@retina.net (tv's Spatch) writes: >hakonsjobrend <hakon.sjobrend@basalmed.uio.no> writ: >>Hello! >>You will meet God when you are dead, >Shee, what a letdown that will be. >"Wow, God, I've finally met you. Now I can get on with my lif - d'oh!!" >-- And the merciful god replies: "C'mon dude, get a life!" *MM
In article <4fj07q$qm5@reader2.ix.netcom.com> Alan \"Uncle Al\" Schwartz <uncleal0@ix.netcom.com> writes:
> M::::::::::::8888:88888888888888888::::::Mm8
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> MM::::::::8888M:::8888:::::888888888888::::::::Mm8
> 8M:::::::8888M:::::888:::::::88:::8888888::::::::Mm
> 88MM:::::8888M:::::::88::::::::8:::::888888:::M:::::M
> 8888M:::::888MM::::::::8:::::::::::M::::8888::::M::::M
> 88888M:::::88:M::::::::::8:::::::::::M:::8888::::::M::M
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> 8 88888M:::88::M:::::::::::::::::::::::MM:88::::::::::::M
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> 888888MM::88::MM::::::::88@@88:::::::::M:::8::::::::::::::*8
> 88888 M:::8::MM:::::::::*88*::::::::::M:::::::::::::::::88@@@
> 8888 MM::::::MM:::::::::::::::::::::MM:::::::::::::::::88@@@
> 888 M:::::::MM:::::::::::::::::::MM::M::::::::::::::::*8
> 888 MM:::::::MMM::::::::::::::::MM:::MM:::::::::::::::M
> 88 M::::::::MMMM:::::::::::MMMM:::::MM::::::::::::MM
> 88 MM:::::::::MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM::::::::MMM::::::::MMM
> 88 MM::::::::::::MMMMMMM::::::::::::::MMMMMMMMMM
> 88 8MM::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::MMMMMM
> 8 88MM::::::::::::::::::::::M:::M::::::::MM
I have ... [umphh] teeheehee... well, just in case.
M::::::::::::8888:88888888888888888::::::Mm8
M::::::::::8888M::88888::888888888888:::::::Mm8
MM::::::::8888M:::8888:::::888888888888::::::::Mm8
8M:::::::8888M:::::888:::::::88:::8888888::::::::Mm
88MM:::::8888M:::::::88::::::::8:::::888888:::M:::::M
8888M:::::888MM::::::::8:::::::::::M::::8888::::M::::M
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88 888MM:::888:M:::::::::::::::::::::::M:8888:::::::::M:
8 88888M:::88::M:::::::::::::::::::::::MM:88::::::::::::M
88888M:::88::M::::::::::::::::::::::::M:88::::::::::::::M
888888M:::88::M::::::::::::::::::::::::M::88::::::::::::::M
888888MM::88::MM:::::::::::::::::::::::M:::8:::::::::::::::M
88888 M:::8::MM:::::::::::::::::::::::M::::::::::::::::::::M
8888 MM::::::MM:::::::::::::::::::::MM::::::::::::::::::::M
888 M:::::::MM:::::::::::::::::::MM::M:::::::::::::::::M
888 MM:::::::MMM::::::::::::::::MM:::MM:::::::::::::::M
88 M::::::::MMMM:::::::::::MMMM:::::MM::::::::::::MM
88 MM:::::::::MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM::::::::MMM::::::::MMM
88 MM::::::::::::MMMMMMM::::::::::::::MMMMMMMMMM
88 8MM::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::MMMMMM
8 88MM::::::::::::::::::::::M:::M::::::::MM
Mina rakastan sinua.
*MM
In article <4fh3vd$4jv$1@mhadf.production.compuserve.com>, Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> wrote: >BELCH THEM! > >They shure do enrich kitchen oders! > >--Bill (turning the fan on hi) All fans should say hi. Otherwise you never know if they're trying to stalk you or just be friendly. - spatch, who's sorting out this new newsreader mess -
Bill Wilkinson wrote: > > Waitaminute! Does this mean that clones ant potatoes > are exploding farm macheenerys? > > Do exploding potatoes come from O'boisie's?????? > > --Bill > Oh gawd, nooooo, no more Idaho jokes, pleeeeeeeeeeze. I've tried so hard to escape them. But they shall ever haunt me it seems. --Jezebell who was really surprised to see 'Pommes Idaho'(Idaho fries) on a menu in a pub in Sweden. --I like you, I'll kill you last.
>y Flushed Are you starting an unrelated topic? [ynq] >
>From: Bob Vila <rvila@infinet.com> >Subject: News via Netscape through SOCKS??? >Date: Mon, 12 Feb 1996 16:59:50 -0800 > I'm using Netscape on our network here at work, running through the >SOCKS firewall package. I can browse just fine, dl stuff with no >problem, but if i try to read news, i get 'NNTP error: You don't have >permission to talk' and that's it. > I haven't successfully read e-mail yet either, but i don't know if >that's a problem with this setup or not. > Are there SOCKS aware news readers? > Thanks! > Bob >---------- How about it Ross? Could you grant the guy a permission to talk? *MM
n ===================================================== "Oh, to be in England now that April's there" --RB My opinions are not those of my employer. =====================================================
Jezebell <jessica@cd.chalmers.se> wrote:
:--Jezebell who was really surprised to see 'Pommes Idaho'
:(Idaho fries) on a menu in a pub in Sweden.
So: Pommes == Idaho
Idaho == fries
No, wait. I got it backwards. Fried Idahoeans!
You know, I once ordered pomme fritz from a restaurant
in Germany, and they gave me what looked liked french fries.
Now, you're telling me I was eating fried cat!
--Bill
--
Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1,
which had lost a point, but now has it again. And don't
forget the Not Page. A waste of bandwidth in less than 3K.
tv's Spatch (spatula@retina.net) wrote: : whyme@muses.planetp.com (Earl Camembert) writ: : >On the other hand, we did take Alanis Morrisette off of your hands. And I : >can't understand why you wish you were Blair. Lisa Whelchel either died : >of an overdose of crack or got big-time religion (which is worse?), : Correct on the latter. Lisa Welchel is now a born-again Christian and won't : do any more acting because she actively believes drama is the tool of Satan. : So much for the Facts of Life reunion we've all been hoping for. Wow.... You take the good You take the bad You make them dead, and there you have The Afterlife The Afterlife. There's a time ya gotta grow, y'know Ya sin, ya know, you go down low In the Afterlife The Afterlife When the world never seems To be li-ving up to your dreams You think about what it's all worth Don't worry 'cause the meek will get the earth, Eeeeeaaarth. You gotta learn to embrace Christ When you plan for the Afterlife (plan for the Afterlife) Plan for the Afterli---iiiiiife. Ross--who can't believe Usual Suspects got so snubbed.
In article <4fr2hm$j49@nz1.netzone.com> nickb@nz1.netzone.com (Nick Bensema) writes: > > I think it's about time we stopped looking at which childhood heroes get laid, > and start figuring which ones _aren't_ getting any. > Well, I suppose it's as good an explanation as any as to why Mr. Spacely is always so cheesed off. And just how do you suppose Mr. Magoo went blind? flapjack-who hasn't pasted for three days and _this_ is what he comes up with? -- Flapjack, the Guilt Toad who got more votes that Phil Graham in Iowa "Can we ever truly know the universe? My God! It's hard enough trying to find your way around in Chinatown!"--Woody Allen The short-lived political phase is over at: HTTP://students.vassar.edu/~nosmith/nosmith.html
In article <4g05ek$m62@vassun.vassar.edu> nosmith@vassar.edu (Flapjack) writes: >From: nosmith@vassar.edu (Flapjack) >Subject: Re: FORGED meow ZOOGZ RIFT meow POSTS EXPOSED! >Date: 15 Feb 1996 20:35:32 GMT >In article <4fr2hm$j49@nz1.netzone.com> >nickb@nz1.netzone.com (Nick Bensema) writes: >> >> I think it's about time we stopped looking at which childhood heroes get laid, >> and start figuring which ones _aren't_ getting any. >> >Well, I suppose it's as good an explanation as any as to why Mr. >Spacely is always so cheesed off. >And just how do you suppose Mr. Magoo went blind? >flapjack-who hasn't pasted for three days and _this_ is what he comes >up with? ^ >-- Cut first (copying is for sissies). *MM
<In article <311f04df.590224@news.axion.bt.co.uk> andyh@galadriel.bt.co.uk (Andy Hall) writes:
<Generally my employer would not like to be asscoiated with any comment
^^^^^^^^^^
Isn't this against the Communications Act?
<I may make. Here, they may make an exception.
Lucky fer Hall's employers they are in the SemiUnited Kingdom,
eh?
Jesus: "He who believeth on me shall live forever, though he die. And he that liveth in me and believeth, shall never die. But he that dieth in me and liveth, shall never believe. Meanwhile, he who dieth and believeth, shall never live; but he who liveth, dieth, and believeth, shall do all of the above. However he who pretendeth to die and believeth on me, shall probably live. But he who pretendeth to believe shall neither live nor die. Any questions?"
Vamp (adam.jewell@mts.dbo.dec.com) wrote: : ..with a vengenance. No make it 2 vengenances...with fries That's 2 vengeances with a side order of fries. Thank you, drive through, and quit kicking the drive-thru sign. -- tv's Spatch, MSTie #something-or-other and now from retina where he belongs "I don't know why I was watching an Ingmar Bergman film when I could have been on IRC watching Spatch type 'STINKY POOP ASS'." - Liza Daly Onion ring to rule, onion ring to bind them...
mandmblue@aol.com (MandMBlue) wrote: :Geshuntide....no no...um...gesoontight? Nope...uh...gesuntile? Yes. All of us miss Tortess. --Bill -- Visit http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/W_Wilkinson1, which had lost a point, but now has it again. And don't forget the Not Page. A waste of bandwidth in less than 3K.
On 17 Feb 1996 02:43:22 GMT, Bill Wilkinson <70325.1137@CompuServe.COM> wrote: > mandmblue@aol.com (MandMBlue) wrote: > > :Geshuntide....no no...um...gesoontight? Nope...uh...gesuntile? > > Yes. All of us miss Tortess. Yep. Hey, is it too early to have another wake? We haven't had one for Tortess is quite a while.. cagey -- who has dibs on the Cheez Whiz(tm) -- new .sig coming Real Soon Now(tm)
Robert Bland wrote: > > Cause I'm confused. Then you understand completely - only through true confusion lies stupidity. Be at one with your confusion, revel in it and give up and ask spatch or Anti Jn or any other stupiditaaaarian with a html Vamp - Wax on..wax off, wax on.. wax off __ ______ ____ __ _____ | || |\ \ \ \/ \\ __ \New Sig currently in beta | \/ |/ /\ \/ /\ /\ \\ _|Stdrd disclaimer applies \ / | || || || || || |adam.jewell@mts.dbo.dec.com \/ |_||_||_||__||_||_|Chief Designer of the ANY key
What is this newsfroups obsession with flapjacks?? I personally don't find them very funny, neither are they very nice to eat!! When was the last time a flapjack told a decent joke? They always seem to say the same old crappy Knock Knock jokes. Cheesecakes on the other hand, always have really funny, and NEW, jokes everytime you see them! So surely we should be praising cheesecakes instead of shitty flapjacks!! Bogie! Just after the all-mighty had flashed his assets to the neighbouring nuns, the world exploded and the all-might said, very loud (well very loud indeed) `Ooopps, wrong button` And hence the cabbeges took over!
AM. Logie fartknockered: > > What is this newsfroups obsession with flapjacks?? I personally don't find > them very funny, neither are they very nice to eat!! When was the last time a > flapjack told a decent joke? They always seem to say the same old crappy Knock > Knock jokes. > > Cheesecakes on the other hand, always have really funny, and NEW, jokes > everytime you see them! So surely we should be praising cheesecakes instead of > shitty flapjacks!! > [snip..sNIP! SNIP!! SNIP!!!] Ahhh...the "Guilt Toad" shall not be impressed. Logie.. expect retaliation. Vamp - who thinks he won't eating cheesecake for a while __ ______ ____ __ _____ | || |\ \ \ \/ \\ __ \New Sig currently in beta | \/ |/ /\ \/ /\ /\ \\ _|Stdrd disclaimer applies \ / | || || || || || |adam.jewell@mts.dbo.dec.com \/ |_||_||_||__||_||_|Chief Designer of the ANY key
On Thu, 15 Feb 1996, AM. Logie wrote: > What is this newsfroups obsession with flapjacks?? I personally don't find > them very funny, neither are they very nice to eat!! When was the last time a > flapjack told a decent joke? They always seem to say the same old crappy Knock > Knock jokes. Flapjacks aren't an it, its a person! Bleh. Mircalla Mordenheim. ----- Vic can ya smell onions? mircalla@cyberspace.org Nooooo C.Ockenden@herts.ac.uk What, not even if they're really close? ksm3ba@herts.ac.uk #Vic n' Bob...
>
>Mircalla Mordenheim.
>
>-----
>Vic can ya smell onions? mircalla@cyberspace.org
>Nooooo C.Ockenden@herts.ac.uk
>What, not even if they're really close? ksm3ba@herts.ac.uk
>#Vic n' Bob...
>
Hey that was only on the other night..
Have you booked the acts tonight Bob?
Yup *produces an axe*
Er..well you had to watch it to...
Vamp - my .sig was staked through the heart at sun-up
Please imagine my sig to be just here
\
|
*
AM. Logie (al5701) wrote: : What is this newsfroups obsession with flapjacks?? I personally don't find Cagey, come here and help me with this. SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! SOCK! There, that's a start. The rest is up to you, alt.stupidity. Get out your socks and show your dedication to Flapjack. Not only will it be good for him, but you'll feel better for it. Now sing along with me everyone, "Soooocks, across stupidity" Ross--who hopes this will go over better than SOCK! Aid
On 16 Feb 1996 20:18:32 GMT, Ross Garmil <limrag@bu.edu> wrote:
> AM. Logie (al5701) wrote:
> : What is this newsfroups obsession with flapjacks?? I personally don't find
>
>
> Cagey, come here and help me with this.
>
> SOCK!
> SOCK!
> SOCK!
> SOCK!
> SOCK!
> SOCK!
> SOCK!
> SOCK!
> SOCK!
> SOCK!
>
What!! Our own Flapjack is being slandered?!?! For shame.
sock
SOCK
SOCK!
S O C K !
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Augh.. pulled a muscle, there. Help, everybody!
cagey -- striking a blow for *true* stoopidity
--
new .sig coming Real Soon Now(tm)
In article <4g2oqo$nhp@news.bu.edu>, limrag@bu.edu (Ross Garmil) writes: >AM. Logie (al5701) wrote: >: What is this newsfroups obsession with flapjacks?? I personally don't >find > > first flapjacks, next bacon, next it'll be irritable blue guys who live in trashcans, AM. Logie, here's looking @ ewe TANKETY, TANKETY, TANKETY, TANKETY....................................................... LeeM - toafK
Jesper Nilsson // dat92jni@ludat.lth.se or jesper@df.lth.se