Banana-nana-bo-bana Fi-fi-fo fana Mi-my-mo mana Banana Stupid-poopy-bo-boopy Fi-fi-fo foopie Mi-my-mo moopie I'm stupid (l)Laura-(l)Laura-bo-(b)Bora Fi-fi-fo (f)Foora Mi-my-mo (m)Moora (l)Laura In other news... I poured orange juice in my cereal this morning. What prizes do I win? You ain't leading but two things right now. Jack and shit. And Jack just went home. Yo mama is so fat that I swerved to avoid hitting her in the road and ran out of gas. She's so fat, that she jumped up in the air and got stuck. She's so fat that when she auditioned for a part in Indiana Jones, she got the part of the big rolling ball. When she steps on a scale, it says "One at a time, please." I crossed the road the other day. There was a chicken waiting for me on the other side. When I got close to him, I chopped his head off and he ran around like a loony. I kicked him in the arse and told him to calm down. So he pouted and ran home and told his mommie. And now, what you've all been waiting for...
In article <3c84la$ij3@news.bu.edu>, Vicky Zafrin <dacilen@bu.edu> wrote: >Spatch (spatula@unicorn.dorm.umd.edu) wrote... >[a whole bunch of stuff totally unrelated to what I want to ask Spatch] > >Hey, weren't you at one time quite fond of alt.cult-movies.rocky-horror? Yeah, I was... I somehow trolled the group, too, unintentionally. :) > >Where've you been? It's getting boring up there, just a bunch of fools >asking for scripts! :) Yeesh. Should get back there then, ASAP. Hold on to your goggles, kids, the Spatchmobile's taking a sharp left... - spatch, does this count as drag racing?! - -- tv's Spatch, MD PhD PMS XYZ PDQ - Will make culinary references for food This Green Card .sig is here to piss off Canter and Siegel. Here's where he's been: Madrid Here's where I've been: Boiler Room
o$$$o
oooo o$$$$$"
o$$$$$$ o$$$$$$
o ooooo "$$$$$" $$$$$$ oo$o
o$$$$$$$$$$$oo "" $$$$$$ o$$$$"
o$$$$$$""""$$$$$$o o o$$$$$$o$$$$""
o$$$$$$" "$$$$$$ o$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$"
$$$$$$" "$$$$$$ o$$$$o o$$$$$" $$$$$$$$$$"
$$$$$$" $$$$$$ oo$$oo o$$$$$" $$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$o
o$$$$$$ $$$$$$$ o$$$$$" $$$$$$ o$$$$$$ "$$$$$$$$$$$o
o$$$$$$ "$$$$$$ $$$$$$ o$$$$$" $$$$$$ $$$$$$""$$$$$$o
$$$$$$" "$$$$$$ o$$$$$" $$$$$$ $$$$$$ $$$$$$" $$$$$$o
o$$$$$$ $$$$$$" $$$$$$ o$$$$$" $$$$$$ $$$$$$ "$$$$$$
o$$$$$$ o$$$$$$" $$$$$$ $$$$$$ o$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ "$$$$$$
o$$$$$$ $$$$$$" $$$$$$ o$$$$$$oo$$$$$$$$$$$""$$$" "$""
$$$$$" $$$$$$" $$$$$$$oo$$$$$$$$$$$" "$$$$""
$$$$$$ o$$o o$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$"
$$$$$o "$$$$$$$$$$$ "$$$$$$$$"
$$$$$ooo$$$$$$$$"" "
""$$$$$$$$$$$$$
"""""""$$$$$
"$""
ok, rabbit, that's enough, you've had your fun, now get off my keyboard.
Kaj
--
W I L L W O R K F O R Q U I K
Increased F. Occupationally aka pmoose the district freak. TMBG nut.
Lead Moaner of The Bacon Sandwiches.
You hear toads. They sound like toads.
Dazzle your cereal with any flavor Quik powder
Devoutness B. Intubate (kbg@natsys.nat.org) thinks he's cool by saying:
> o$$$o
> oooo o$$$$$"
> o$$$$$$ o$$$$$$
> o ooooo "$$$$$" $$$$$$ oo$o
> o$$$$$$$$$$$oo "" $$$$$$ o$$$$"
> o$$$$$$""""$$$$$$o o o$$$$$$o$$$$""
> o$$$$$$" "$$$$$$ o$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$"
> $$$$$$" "$$$$$$ o$$$$o o$$$$$" $$$$$$$$$$"
> $$$$$$" $$$$$$ oo$$oo o$$$$$" $$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$o
> o$$$$$$ $$$$$$$ o$$$$$" $$$$$$ o$$$$$$ "$$$$$$$$$$$o
> o$$$$$$ "$$$$$$ $$$$$$ o$$$$$" $$$$$$ $$$$$$""$$$$$$o
> $$$$$$" "$$$$$$ o$$$$$" $$$$$$ $$$$$$ $$$$$$" $$$$$$o
> o$$$$$$ $$$$$$" $$$$$$ o$$$$$" $$$$$$ $$$$$$ "$$$$$$
> o$$$$$$ o$$$$$$" $$$$$$ $$$$$$ o$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ "$$$$$$
> o$$$$$$ $$$$$$" $$$$$$ o$$$$$$oo$$$$$$$$$$$""$$$" "$""
> $$$$$" $$$$$$" $$$$$$$oo$$$$$$$$$$$" "$$$$""
> $$$$$$ o$$o o$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$"
> $$$$$o "$$$$$$$$$$$ "$$$$$$$$"
> $$$$$ooo$$$$$$$$"" "
> ""$$$$$$$$$$$$$
> """""""$$$$$
> "$""
Oh yeah?? Well, take this:
o$"$ $ "o"o$oo$ "o $oo"o"o$$$$$"$"$$o$"""
"$oo"o$o$$"$$"o"oo$$$$$o$o$$$"$"$$ "
o$$"$$$"o"o"$$oo"$"$o"$"$$"$"$$$""
$$$"$$""$ oo" "$"o"o$o"o"o"$"$$""
$$"$o""""oo $ $ o $ "$$ "o $$o$$o
$$o"$ "$o o"o"o""o"o"o"o"o"o $
$$ $oooo $ $ o"" "o"o "o"$o""$
o$$"o$$$"o$ $o" $" o "o"oo"$o$ $o
oooooooo$"$ $ o$$$$$ $"o" "$$""$ $ oo $o$"o"$
oo$"$o$o " "oo$o"o"o"$"$"$$o $ $$$o$$ $ o"o"o$$ $$
$"$$"o ""o$$$""$""""$oo$$$$$ o"o"o"o$"o$o $$
$ o$ " " $$$"$o " $"$$"$$$$"o$o""$o"oo$$oo
$$" o " o "$""$o o" o o"""" """"""$oo"$ oo $"$$oo
$"$$" o o $ "$$"$ $ "oo$o"" ""$o""o$o "$$
$o$$ "o o "$oo$ """ o o o $$o$o"$o$
$$o$$ o " " " " " o$""$"$"
"$o$"$o " oo o o o$ oo $ $ "$"$
"$$"$$o $ $ " """""oo oo $ $ $$$
"$$o"$o "$oo oo$$o oo" "" o$$o"o$"
""$$o$o $""$ $ "$oooo$"" $o$$$$$
"$o"$"oo" $ $""" o$$ $o$"$"
"$$" $o o oo$o$"$o$$$$
oooooo$o"" " o" ooo$$o$o"$"$o$o$
$$$"$"o$o$" o$o "o""" oo$$"$o$o$o$$"$o""""
o $ "$o$$$o$"ooo$"o""$o oo"$$"$$$$$$"""" ""
$"$o$o$$o$o"o"$$ $ $o$$oo o$"o$$""" o
$$$ $ $$oo$o$"o $oo$$$$$$ooo o $o$$$$ oooo$$$$$
I wonder what Quik would taste like on Quisp... that is if that cereal still
existed.
---
Keylime
http://www.nd.edu/~gmoriart/
Subject: misc stupidity STFK.FAQ
=======================================
StupidFuck(c) v1.2.1
'The Latest in Artificial Stupidity'
(And you thought AOL was stupid!)
=======================================
-------------------------------------------
FAQ - Frequently asked questions about STFK
-------------------------------------------
Contents:
[001] - Introduction
[002] - Why are we here?
[003] - What is software?
[004] - Why is software?
[006] - When is software?
[007] - WHO THE HELL IS SOFTWARE?!?!
[008] - Bill Gates
[009] - Goldfish
[010] - A test run of STFK
[011] - System Requirements
[012] - Body Parts
[013] - Enhanced stupidity engine
[666] - Daddy's watching
[MSC] - Miscellaneous Information
< Chapter 001 -- Introduction >
if yer looking fer a car go see tom!
(go see tom!)
if yer looking fer a car go see tom!
(go see tom!)
if yer looking fer a car go see tom!
(go see tom!)
if yer looking fer a car go see tom!
(go see tom!)
if yer looking fer a car go see tom!
(go see tom!)
and if yer looking for a boat,
(go see cap'n ron!)
'aye-aye and goodbye!'
< Chapter 002 -- Why are we here? >
It's all over man! We're all gonna die man! Those things already got
two of us!
Za veazon ve are here, iz not only to amuze da godz, but to zcrew up
to the bezt of our abilitiez. Zome believe we all have zpecial
qualitiez that help uz each zcrew up in there own way. Zcrewing up os
a fundamental part of todayz zociety. Zome of uz are given one zpecial
gift:
Extreme ztupidty
----------------
Stupid Fuck was written for those who do not posses this quality.
Using stupid fuck one can excel in every day screwing up, the
programmers spent time at zoo's, half goofing off, and the other half
studying the moron's that clean the elephant cages. We hope this has
improved the quality of our program.
< Chapter 003 -- What is Software? >
We'll tell you when your older, don't worry, one day, you can know the
secrets we do.
< Chapter 004 -- Why is software? >
Use lots of lube and it won't stick, don't worry, it'll work out.
< Chapter 006 -- When is software? >
Every Tuesday at 6:00pm, bring a friend, and doughnuts.
< Chapter 007 -- WHO THE HELL IS SOFTWARE?!?! >
Well, I could tell you, but then I would have to kill you and I don't
think that would be very enjo--AGH! STOP THE VOICES!!! I can RESIST
THIS! AGH! HELP! I CAN STOP THE KILLING! AGH!!!
(Will the schizo-phrenia take over? tune in next week,
same BAT-TIME, same BAT-CHANNEL.)
< Chapter 008 -- Bill Gates >
Big bad computer nerd guy. Still sleeps with parents when he has
nightmares, goes on dates with computers, and buys FAMILY-packs of
condoms.
< Chapter 009 -- Goldfish >
The sacred art of coaxing goldfish to have intercourse with you is
extremely simple - threaten that you will flush it down the toilet if
it doesn't start putting out.
< Chapter 010 -- A test run of STFK >
This test was executed and logged before a live studio audience, no
canned laughter here:
// StupidFuck(c) v1.2.1 Startup initialized //
Please wait while loading dictionary...
(five minute pause here while the computer's hard disk goes psycho)
Please wait while loading Sam-I-am picture book...
(nother five)
Loading DOOM WAD [........................] - Completed
(even more, TEN!)
Initializing IdiotEngine v-0.1...
(pretty quick, 2 minutes)
Welcome to StupidFuck(c) v1.2.1
Enter command> dir
Huh? - Please check validity and spelling.
Enter command> hello?
Huh? - Please check validity and spelling.
Enter command> help
StupidFuck(c) v1.2.1 -- HELP SCREEN
My balogna has a first name, its O-S-C-A-R,
My balogna has a second name, its M-A-Y-E-R,
'Cause Oscar Mayer knows B-A-L-O-G-N-A!!
Valid commands:
Don't touch that idiot
No
Does that taste like chicken?
Say something completly normal -- Enhanced version ONLY
Incest is best
What is the spelling of the word "cow" -- Dictionary must be installed.
--
Enter command> QUIT
I'm sorry, this option only available in registered versions.
Enter command> no
oooh, I wanna a bananna!
Enter command> < CTRL-ALT-DEL > (Keys pressed by user)
<This is where the user screamed, ran out of the building and was
never heard from again, if you have such problems please don't be
alarmed, this is completely normal
< Chapter 011 -- System requirements >
System Requirements:
386 or faster motherboard
VGA monitor -- Not used, although you need one to run the program.
Keyboard or reasonable facsimile
Two proofs of purcahse from Kellogs Raison Bran
< Chapter 012 -- Body Parts >
Although rumours of limbs being destroyed by StupidFuck, this is
totally true. Many people have lost body parts as a result of using
StupidFuck.
< Chapter 013 -- Enhanced stupidity engine >
First used to dull prisoners of war's minds into a lumpy mush, to
prevent escape attempts, the stupidty engine now has an even greater
use. To install the enhanced stupidity engine version of StupidFuck,
take two aspirin and call me in the morning.
< Chapter 666 -- Daddy's Watching >
No, satan did not write this program, although he helped time to
time with ideas and funding. We owe alot to this great leader of the
underworld. Actually StupidFuck was written by a small scandinavian
troll named Olaf that now sits on top of my pencil. To get in touch
with Olaf, click your heals 48585 times and sqwauk like an extremely
angry chicken.
< Chapter [MSC] -- Miscellaneous >
This FAQ was written by the following:
SJANTZEN@bbs.sd68.nanaimo.bc.ca
DBRENNAN@bbs.sd68.nanaimo.bc.ca
StupidFuck(c) v1.2.1 was brought to you today by
The letter AAA The number 6666
A A 6
A A A and 6666
A A 6 6
A A 6666
-- Have a nice day! --
There's been some cornfusion lately on this newsfroup about the rankings of idiots. Here again is the order (from lowest to highest): Bet-wetting Bleeding Babbling Drooling Twitching Lieutenant Convulsive Convulsive Gyrating Leaping Exploding Snorting Grand Emperor of Idiocy Please write this down so you won't have to ask again. Keylime. -------------------------------------------------------------------- I am cornholio. I need Rich Lee for my bunghole. "Here's looking at you, corn." - Humphrey Bogart
Jesper Nilsson // dat92jni@ludat.lth.se or jesper@df.lth.se